Triforce! - Triforce! #275: Flax Declares War

Episode Date: January 17, 2024

Triforce! Episode 275! Sips has been watching some YouTube documentaries about Boogie2988, Lewis is going on a chill adults holiday and Flax is declaring war on Virgin Media! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickaxe Hello. 2024. This guy's full of Vin and Vigor. Hey, DMPFlex. I've had a terrible end to 2023 and start to 2024. Oh no. Well, your internet's been dodgy. You're talking to your MP next week, I saw, about complaining about terrible internet. Who's your- This is your campaign. Who's the Twickers MP of the day? Munira Wilson.

Oh. Um, she is Lib Dem. We had Vince Cable. Yeah, you had Vince Cable for the longest time, eh? I'm tracking him, MP. Vince Cable. We had him for a long time. He was great.

And then- And old. It doesn't matter. He was very competent. He was widely regarded as a good, competent MP. You don't come across a lot of people named Vince anymore. No, you don't. And Cable is a banging last name. Yeah, it is, yeah.

So Vince was good. Met him twice, nice guy. The only MP in the entire time I've lived here, lived here over 20 years, to actually come to the door. He came round, can I rely on your vote in the upcoming election? I was like, Vince, there's no one else for me. You're the guy, anyway. Said Vince, you old scoundrel? Of course you can! Vince Cable, good God. And then we had a Tory MP very briefly, and then everybody realized that was bollocks,

and we got Munira back in. So the Lib Dems. But anyway, so I'm going to talk to her. The Virgin Media thing is, believe it or not, probably it's the most infuriating, but the least important bad thing that's been happening, because essentially it's just bad internet. And although that has affected my ability to work over the christmas period which is really annoying it's

been a month um and they basically it barely fixed now so yeah shit virgin media internet bad boiler so what's the other thing that's gone wrong um so i was i was ill uh just after christmas for like bad over his health yeah health my my youngest was also poorly. My mum was very poorly. She had to go to the doctor and get very strong antibiotics. Jesus. Yeah, so that wasn't great. My eldest had a really badly infected thumb. She got the cuticle infected. I don't know why. All of you have been sick.

Yeah, I know. And a couple of days ago, the dog was so ill, she wasn't eating, she wasn't drinking water, we had to go to the vet. We thought it was going to be a big emergency. God, that's the worst. I hate when animals go like that. Because you can't, you know, like with kids, at least you can talk to them a bit. Right. Where does it hurt? Animals, it's just like, they just shut down. They don't want to know. She was just like, I'm just going to sleep all the time and I'm just going to lie here and I'm not going to drink water and that was bad. I ordered a couple of toilet seats. This is one of the minor things, but it just added to the frustration. How many toilet seats are we talking here?

Two. That's a couple. I ordered two because I thought, first of all, I googled best toilet seat 2023, right? I've been shitting like crazy. I know this toilet seat's going to get fucked, so I'm going to have to get a new one. So I ordered two toilet seats on Amazon. Didn't realize they were coming all the way from the states slightly different uh holes on the toilets in america obviously they've got the big one where all the poo poo and uh the

wee wee goes but they've also got the holes where you mount the seat are like a couple of millimeters different from the toilets that we had so it did fit eventually but it's much too big for the toilet so i have gonna have to fucking refund these and getting them on, getting the old toilet seats off. For some reason, the way they'd been installed was an absolute pain in the ass just to get them off. I spent like an hour trying to get these toilet seats off. I was sweating by the end of it.

It's just everything that's happening is just fucking, at the moment, everything's going wrong. It's like, just the way it goes. So you've basically got a whole family of hell house sick house of leper colony yeah go in and you've decided now was the time to replace toilet seats but you ordered some from america and i didn't know i didn't know they were from america you just i just ordered them on amazon i just i've never even had to eat i've never even considered not even the back of my mind that one day i might have to replace a toilet seat you live alone though that it's unlikely when you have my toilet doesn't get

that much the more people you have in your house they the uh it increases the odds of your toilet seat breaking absolutely when they break trust me it is a pain in the... I think also there is a... Literal pain in the ass. Yeah. There's like a respect thing, right? Where I think I was like this growing up in my parents' house. I was not as careful with the house. No. Right? Because I didn't feel any investment in it, any ownership over it. You take it for granted, right?

Oh, of course. Yeah. Right? And so I wasn't... Of course, I didn't like actively smash it up. But I also didn't... Like like, like, for example, everyone's, everyone lives everywhere and they know, I know I've got like a tap that's loose certain things where it's like oh no you can't turn it that way and she's like oh yeah of course you can't you can't fucking turn it that way yeah of course i knew that you know what i mean like it's it's it's so annoying like it shouldn't be that way she has no idea that it's

broken in the first place and then she's just getting this like forbidden knowledge from me that no, no, do not turn it that way or it'll get stuck sort of thing. Um, we got, we got a whole bunch of shit like that around our house where it's just like, it's, it's always so everyone's got this.

Like, like you said, it's the dark arts of how things in the house function. Like, Oh no, you can't close it that hard. Don't close it that hard. Yeah. No, you don't look, no, you listen. i've told you before you have to turn it then close it otherwise it won't it

won't lock properly oh okay yeah all kinds of shit like that it's funny because it's it's functional it's it's a little bit annoying but once you know how the trick yeah you don't need to fix it it doesn't need fixing no um and a lot of the time it's like oh it's just the lock mechanism some i mean like for example in our house for whatever reason we don't have any locks on the bathroom doors right we just never got around to putting any in um there was a lock on one bathroom door but it broke so we just know if the door is closed someone's in there like that's the rule if the door is closed someone's probably in there so everybody just knows that but of course when someone comes over to the house, they don't know that.

So people are quite often just opening doors and someone's in the bathroom. So I've been meaning for the longest time to just get a simple sliding catch lock. Just keep putting it off because we all know the rule. If the door is closed, someone's in there. Yeah. It's just one of those things. It's like once in a blue moon situations where somebody doesn't know the dark art and then it's broken and then all of a sudden, it's a big priority to get that thing fixed.

Something that's just been like that for years. We got a smaller like a cloakroom bathroom on the ground floor, you know? Same, yeah. It's little. It's little and it's got like a corner sink. It can't even have like a full facing sink because you can't even open a door into it. You can't turn around in it. Yeah, exactly. So, it's a little corner sink, there's a toilet in there and there's like a sliding door.

It's on a- there's like a, you know, like a mechanism for the door to slide or whatever. Yeah, it's really tight to poop in. Of course. Yeah, it is. Yeah, yeah. But that's where you're meant to poop when you come to my house. That is your guest toilet. That's my assigned pooping area.

Your assigned guest toilet, yeah. Anyway, so for the past couple of weeks, the door has been jammed. Like you could just about open it to get in, but you can't close it or whatever. And my mother-in-law was over while this was all happening. And my mother-in-law's default is put WD-40 on it. Anything. If anything goes wrong, she sprays WD-40 on it. I thought she was going to get locked in there.

I thought that's where the story was going. So she's like, oh, I think your door's broken. And I was like, oh, it sounds like maybe it's come off the runner or it's jammed or something. And she's like, you need some WD-40 on that. I was like, no, no, it's not that kind of thing. Like, it's not getting stuck because it's all rusty or anything like that. It's, you know, I think you pulled it too hard and it came off the runner. She's like, no, no, no, just get some WD-40 on there.

I'm not putting WD-40 on there. This went on for like hours. My wife's like, come on, why don't you just try the WD-40? It's like, no, it's not the WD-40. Anyway, instead of actually looking at it and fixing it, I just left it. And it was like that for weeks. And we were just like, oh, we're going to have to get somebody in to look at it. We're going to have to replace the door.

We have to place the runner or whatever. And I needed to take a crap and the upstairs bathroom was being used. So I had to use the downstairs bathroom. I couldn't close the door. So I was getting really, really annoyed. And then so before I took a crap, I took a look and i used all of my rage strength to like try to remove the door from the rail because i thought it was jammed but then it turns out that there's just a screw loose that was like protruding out and then causing the door to get stuck on it

when you tried to to push it back like it just come loose and it was sticking out so i just took this i thought you were gonna say you used all your rage strengths to poo quickly. No, no, no. God, no, never. I don't want to blow out my hole, no. So I just took the screw out and now it's back to normal. It's fine. And I was like a hero too. I was like, I fixed it.

My wife's like, oh my God, it's fixed. It's better than ever. I was like, yeah, I know. It's so smooth now. It closes and everything and like, it's just, it's great. Well, I weirdly did this the other day, cause like, I've got a bunch of stuff, like wobbly handles and loose like bits of my, in my flat and I got, um, I got, I realized my little thing has a screwdriver on it.

So I started fixing some of these screws and then I started doing- Your little thing has a screwdriver on it? My little pen knife thing has a screwdriver on it. I just wanted to say too, that'd be a great band name. Wobbly Handles and Loose Bits. Oh. And I ended up, like, because I noticed the fridge door was wobbly, because it's like a fridge that's built into the cupboard.

But then I had to unscrew the fridge door from the thing, and before I noticed, I was, like, surrounded by, like, brackets and bits of fridge. So I was like, oh, if I just take this one off, that'll get it loose, right? And then I cut that one off, and there was another one. I was like surrounded by like brackets yeah bits of fridge because i was like oh if i just take this one off that'll get it loose right and then i got that one off and there was another one i was like okay i guess i'm doing i guess i'm committed now to this and before i brought it i was like half an hour deep and i was like regretting everything i always think of that scene in father ted when they're trying to get the dent out of the car and they're every time i go to fix something, I think of that scene.

I'm like, I'm going to fuck this up so bad. It's going to be so much worse than it was when I started. That is my default mindset. Anytime I have to look at anything. We've got this Fallout Boy statue in the office, right, of the Fallout. And it got dented and dinged up loads and loads. And so they sent us like a little repair kit with like five um different colors of paint right and so i was like oh just just dab this on you know this because it would surely be color matched immediately and it was like

not color matched so i realized it's like i'd added like a bunch of it was i'd made it much more noticeable putting this thing on and so then i was like oh joe i'll get i'll put a little bit more color on around the edge to try and like blend it in you know but i don't know what i'm doing i'm not fucking visually very good at this either like and so before i know it like this he's got he looks like he's got like some skin disease now um where it's well i mean he probably would have a skin disease realistically in that setting. I should have just left it because, do you know what I mean? I think the Fallout Vault Boys look battered up, right, anyway.

They don't look like they've got sort of foundation on them. They're meant to have that 1950s gleam and shine to them, but everything looks a little bit dirty because of the setting. Yeah, I think I love that style. I love the battered up, mashed up style. I kind of feel like things need a bit of that, you know? Like a cookbook. You can't have a pristine cookbook. Like my women.

You've just got to have a few dints and dents on it. Dints and dents. Dints and dents. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, I hope everyone gets themselves sorted out, P-Flax. No, it is what it is, you know. Hope everything works out for you. Such is life, unfortunately. everyone gets themselves sorted out p-flats it is what it is you know such as such as life

unfortunately sometimes you know you it's it's just the way it goes like if it was like this every day i would be rightly i think frustrated and at the end of my tether but you know you have good times you have bad times sometimes the bad times all squeeze up into into one bundle yeah um but equally sometimes everything seems to be going right. So you can't really be too annoyed. At least you've got your health. Oh wait, no, hang on. No, I didn't. They always say that, don't they?

It could be worse. The thing is, a friend of mine is very, very ill at the moment. And so when you hear about that, everything else really, genuinely, I know it's- It's put into perspective. The fallacy of relative privation or something.

There's some fallacy where basically every single thing that you say that is bad, people are like, well, it could be worse. There are people stalled in Africa. It's like, well, yes, but you still have to put it into relative- Sure, but I'm talking about me. I'm not talking about other people here. So it is annoying and it is stuff that stacks up and it's frustrating but you can step back and be philosophical and say hey look other people i

know near me are going through bad things as well i hate that i kind of hate when people do that because i i i feel like every once in a while like every once in a while maybe not all the time but like uh you know you you should be allowed to just vent a little bit, you know, be a little bit like emotional about something or whatever. But I feel like people who say that just like, you know, it's inconvenient to them. So they just try to shut you down straight away. They don't want to hear about it. But it's like, well, it's sometimes, you know, life isn't perfect all the time.

Like, yeah, I know other people are suffering or whatever. But right now in this moment, I feel like shit and I'm talking about myself. So just give me these five minutes and then we'll get back to solving world hunger or whatever after that. You give us five minutes and we'll give you the world. What's that from? I don't know if it's five minutes, I think if you give us 30 seconds, we'll give you the world. Sounds like the guy from Unsolved Mysteries. It's Robocop. Oh, Robocop. Holy it? Yep. Holy shit. So I'm going to Centre Parcs next week.

Nice! Holy shit, man! Have fun, it's so much fun. Are you going with people that have kids, or are you just going with people your age? It's just like 16 adults. Oh, okay. Well. Jesus.

And so, basically, over the last year- That sounds like you. Are you filming Big Brother there or something? Well, no. But I've been thinking about this because I guess like for a long time, certainly when I was in a relationship as well, I would be the one organizing stuff. You know, I'd be like, let's go to this place that I want to go to. And I think throughout my life, that's been a case too.

Like if like, let's, if I want to, if I want to do something like play a game even in like or go somewhere like new zealand you know i'm going to be the one organizing that and inviting people along and and and and that's that way you get to do the things you want to do right usually but ever since i've been single i've kind of not wanted to organize holidays where it's just me going away well yeah even with other people i get, yeah. But weirdly, to fill that void, I've made some new friends and they've kind of been inviting me to their thing. Obviously, I went to Florida.

I was sort of invited there. I went to Corfu and stuff. I've been invited there and I went to a few other places. And I haven't enjoyed them as much as I would have done if I'd organised them on my own, I think, because it's not my choice often to go to these places. But also, it's fun to go somewhere with someone too right yeah i

realized that because i saw my 2023 timeline or whatever and all the places i went literally the five or six countries i went were all organized by someone else or i was invited there yeah um and so and that was sort of a first for me really so i've sort of realized and again this center park thing it's not something I would ever go. And I know I wanted to mention it because I know you go quite often. Yeah, but I mean, I was going to say, well, I wasn't going to say, but I will say, I don't think I would go with adults. To Center Parcs? No, I mean, it's fun to go with kids because there's tons of fun to do.

Well, bear in mind, it is January as well. It's fucking freezing. Last year we went in December, right before Christmas. Oh, did you? And it's quite nice. Yeah, they do it up really nice. Did you do a lot of activities and stuff? Yeah, yeah, we did tons. You could still just go swimming and stuff. The pool's really nicely heated, even the outdoor bits. It's kind of fun actually, because it's so cold outside,

but inside the pool is so fucking warm. So it's like, I don know it makes it even more relaxing somehow you know like it's interesting well i saw i didn't mean i don't really know what to expect because i think i get if people don't know what sense parks is do you want to explain it yeah it's like it's a resort it's like a uh it's it's it's like a like a little cottagey resort it's think about like a big campsite but instead of uh just like a lot where you put down a tent or whatever it's got all of these identical little cottages for people to stay in and they can they can fit you know up from like two people up to families of six or whatever it's really popular for people to go with extended family as well you see lots of like you'll see like a lot of young

couples with kids dragging along both sets of parents, like grandparents, brothers and sisters and stuff. A lot of times you'll see big families. Yes, and that's because these- It's like a big yearly destination. And if you live in England, it's great because you just load up your car, you drive in, it's all set up so that it's kind of like an activity resort sort of thing, right? Do you know what it is? It's middle class Butlins. It is.

That's what I hear. That's literally how someone described it to me yesterday. You can do as much or as little as you want to, but everything is like, you got to pay extra for all the activities, right? Like, if you want to go to the pool, you go to the pool for free, but you got to, like, pay for a towel. You got to pay to, like, breathe the air while you're there. You got to pay for a towel you gotta pay to like breathe the air while you're there you gotta pay pay for a bike helmet you gotta rent a bike but like i mean we we come from we come over from jersey so we either have to take a ferry with our car so we're limited on what we can load into the car because you know all the restrictions or flying and then we can take

even less but if you live on mainland england and you're you're driving an hour to center parks to meet family and stuff holy fuck man you can take time you can just bring all of your trailer yeah yeah yeah and it's set up nice because like uh it's got like intake days and then checkout days so you can't just like you couldn't just go for like a night you couldn't just like rock up on tuesday stay overnight and like leave on wednesday like you have to check in on either a monday or a friday and then you leave on the monday or friday so like monday and friday are busy days where there's cars in the morning you know going to get people out and then people coming in but every other day there's no cars so super safe for kids to go bike riding. There's all these like nature walks, nature trails for bikes.

There's a lake. You can like, you can do like paddle boating. There's fishing. Like there's tons of shit. There's like a commando course, a zip line. You should go on that, Lewis. You'd probably like it. And then there's indoor shit too.

There's like badminton courts, tennis courts. You play racquetball. There's gyms. Swimming. There's fucking tons of stuff. My friend loves badminton. Yeah, yeah. And then like there's seasonal stuff too. I know because like we do stuff. My friend loves Babinson. Yeah, yeah.

And then like, there's seasonal stuff too. I know because like, we do go all the fucking time, but my kids love it. So we, you know, it's a nice place to go because there's tons for them to do and then- Man, I'm so much more hyped about it now. We feel like we get like a bit of a rest too. I was kind of dreading it. Depending where you go with kids, you feel like you don't get a rest. Well, a little bit like, basically, I feel like a lot of the time what happens

is these- they- because this friend group comes from a whole bunch of different people, and a couple of them, I don't want to say don't have much money, but are quite frugal with how they go on holiday, right? And so, they basically found a deal for, like, the cheapest cabin for a week, right? Sure. And as a result, it's like, it's like so cheap. It's like 50 quid between you know yeah well i mean if you're going with a bunch of people and stuff the accommodation is fine too

they want to they've got this eight people birth or whatever they want to fill it up and so you know i get invited to to be one of the people and i sort of i was like is this going to be like one of those ski lodge chalet type situations where it says it sleeps eight people, but actually two of them are in the lounge or four of them are in the lounge? Yeah, it might be. The more people you get, the accommodation varies there too. You can get big... It scales up to the point where you can get accommodation that has a built-in sauna, hot

tub. You can get a games room, like billiards and darts and stuff like it i might see if i can upgrade some of the some of them are quite big but again it's designed for people that go with like all their family like you see people in the morning you see people spilling out of like one accommodation there's like 20 of them and you can tell it's just like all like parents grandparents grandkids like like everybody, but they can accommodate it. It's like, it's pretty good.

It's well set up. I think it might still be owned by a Canadian company, actually, the whole thing, Center Parks. Interesting. Oh, right. That's where the inspiration comes from. Yeah. I think it was originally like a Dutch resort.

Oh, Center Parks. Yeah, Center Parks. Center Parks. Which then went international. International. It was originally like a Dutch resort. Oh, Schinterparks. Yeah, Schinterparks. Schinterparks. Which then went international. International. Yeah, I think some Canadian venture capitalist fund or something scooped it up. And they were trying to sell it, but it's worth billions.

It's fucking huge, man. They were trying to sell it? Yeah, they were trying to sell it. You should have tried to buy it, Lewis. Should have bought it. How much did they want for it? I think they wanted about like two billion for it. I reckon we could.

Yeah, you could scoop it up. Man, you'd be the man of the hour. You're frugal friends. You could be like, I'm upgrading you guys. I'm the new owner. I think I'd have to. I'll see. I'll see how it is this week and if it's worth buying.

I'll do the record for you guys. When are you going? So next week you're going? Next week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you going Monday to Friday? Yes. Oh, baby.

You'll have fun. You'll have fun, honestly. It's good. No, I'm psyched. It is pretty fun. It's great. Everyone's super, super nice. Honestly, I think that's the nicest part.

If you go swimming, my kids love the rapids. Like, you just kind of like slide down like it's all like the contour of the pool but it's like uh you know it's meant to be like a white water rapid sort of thing is it do you just lie back on a rubber you lie back no you're not even on a rubber ring it's all like just little slippery slides that you just the rapids. Yeah, you just slowly coast down. I hope it's not too rapid, darling! Don't worry! Don't worry, it's very relaxing. Oh my god. We're halfway down these things, and my daughter's like, can we go on again? She's just like, shoot.

We're already on it! We must have gone on like, 200 times every session we had at the pool, like, it was insane. Oh my god. It's good fun, though. Oh, well, that's great. I'm hyped now. Yeah?

I think I am going on holiday with a bunch of adults. I honestly do recommend it. I think it's interesting. The dynamic's interesting. Often people don't, we don't really cook together as a group or we don't really like take assigned roles and people don't get up at any kind of specific times or there's no scheduling at all. Like someone's neurotic because they've forgotten their meds or something.

If you wake up earlier than everyone else and and like, if you wake up early, like seven o'clock or something like that, you can go for a walk. It's so quiet, man. There's nobody out. Like, you can walk to like the central place and get a coffee and just stroll around a bit and stuff. It's really nice. Oh, that sounds great.

You're close to it too. If you're going to the one close to you, take your bike, because you can- there's all sorts of nature paths and stuff. I'm not actually, I'm going to the one which is like, close to PFLAX, I think. Spend some time in Twickenham, come say hi. Yeah, I'll see if Vince Cable's knocking around. Drop your bike off and see if Flax can repair it while you're- Vince, big fan. Love what you did with big business and government. He was a good lad.

Yeah, yeah. Vince, big man. So one thing I'd watch this week was the, um, a post office drama thing. Love what you did with big business and government. He was a good lad. Yeah, yeah. Vince McMahon. So one thing I'd watch this week was the post office drama thing. Yeah. I didn't watch the drama. I watched the Panorama documentary on the whole thing. So if you don't know, in the UK, about 10 years ago- No, it was a little bit longer than that.

Longer than that. It was like 2000 to 2015. There was this computer system that sort of went wrong with all the postmasters. And the people who basically ran a load of local post offices were accused of fiddling the books. Not just a couple though. Over the course of 15 years, 700 people were accused of committing fraud against the post office, which should have raised flags

left right and center like the first five people that were accused of that should have raised red flags all over the place especially like 700 people it's ridiculous and the but the thing to remember as well this is 700 people who still to this day have done nothing wrong because it was a computer glitch. Most of them have been charged with fraud. A lot of them have served jail time. Or are still in prison. Or are still in prison. These are just regular people who had lives, families, everything.

They did nothing wrong. And a lot of them have lost everything. And the whole time it was going on, all of the top executives started to catch on to the fact that there was a bug. They would never admit it. And they were doing everything they could to not admit that there was a bug and that they were completely right to send these people away. It's absolutely shocking. The more you look into it, the more shocking it is. The largest miscarriage of justice in British legal history. Yeah, it should. It rightly should bring the post office down. It genuinely should.

And if there's any justice, the post office as a corporation should cease to exist as a result of this. All of the people involved should be sitting in a cell right now. I maintain, like it's absolutely absurd that the- I feel bad for the posties. I mean, we know our posties. They're good people. I'm just saying, you cannot have a company that has been this complicit in this disastrous miscarriage of justice and say, oh, well, you've got to have the post office.

No, I'm sorry. If you are that fucked, dismantle the whole fucking thing. Because this is a fucking disgrace. Well, the thing is, it's one of these things that used to be in British... It used to be run by the government in the same way that u.s postal service is still run by the u.s government right but we privatized it some time ago and and through you know of course you know with this this sort of stuff it's a capitalist corporate awful shithole where they they that the executives were given bonuses for every person that they convicted everyone who got prosecalling. Everyone who got prosecuted, they got a bonus.

So, of course, it's in their incentive to keep it going. They're like, oh, God, look at it. Every time I convict someone, I get paid. It's actually insane. And when this all news broke of it, of course, you know, 10 years ago or whatever, nothing was done. All of these people are still in prison. There's a bunch of them in prison today.

I'm stunned because I heard about this a long time ago, and I couldn't believe that people were still in prison there's a bunch of them in prison today like i'm stunned because i heard about this a long time ago and i couldn't believe that people were still yeah in prison it's it's honestly if you haven't read about it and watch this stuff about it watch it be prepared to gnash your teeth in anger oh you'd be so mad attitudes of the people who were responsible for this is appalling it's like they got together a villain's, like a rogues gallery of people to be in charge at the post office.

They are all awful and the more their emails and stuff come out, the more you find out how much they were paid, the worse it gets. It's shocking. It is shocking.

And they were given, the woman in charge was given a flipping order of merit. Yeah, she got an OBE. A CBE or whatever. CBE. She made a big display

of giving it back before it was stripped off of her. Yeah, that kind of thingBE. CBE. She made a big display of giving it back before it was stripped off of her. How about you fuck off and give back the lives that you took from those people, the money you took from those people, the time that they spent in prison, and there were people who are still paying back money. They had to repay the money they quote-unquote stole.

I am stunned that yet again in this country we have had a disastrous IT rollout because the NHS had a fucking shocking rollout of their their computer system years ago. This was you can look into the details of this. It cost billions and it was shit. Every time we have a big project, we can't fucking do it. There's too many people with their hands in the pot trying to get a little bit of the money for themselves, give it to their mates. It's all so corrupt and shit and shady. We can't fucking do it. There's too many people with their hands in the pot trying to get a little bit of the money for themselves, give it to their mates. It's all so corrupt and shit and shady. We can't fucking do anything these days.

What is happening? Where's the competence gone? I know. It's actually such a really good example of a story of a TV show actually finally raising awareness about an issue that actually stuff happens. There's kind of this outrage that so many people are like, well, this isn't... I think it's the court system and things like this.

It's like, well, these people were convicted at the time, give them the thing, and so therefore we're not going to bother changing it because it's a load of faff and a load of cost and a load of thing. And no one wants to deal with it. And so it just gets pushed to one side. It's a classic example of people, just government being like, well, we're not going to worry about doing it. You know what else it is?

It is proof, if you ever need it, that we do need proper journalists, not just some guy with a YouTube channel, no offense to all of us, but someone who's just doing that shit. You need proper journalists, proper investigative journalists. Because sometimes, yes, the government the government organizations oversight bodies the companies themselves the people who are affected will not be able to do enough we also need profession we also need people to do the tv shows right yeah you know you need you need proper people apparently you know the journalists are not enough pflex is what i'm saying no you need

you need you need to to raise awareness of issues and to really dig into something you need that and that's what exactly what happened here. You need this level of rage that you have just shown for stuff to change. It is frustrating and I'm optimistic. I want to be. I think that's my New Year's resolution to try and be more positive about things and try and

see that things are getting better and improving. But I think when things like this happen, in order to make positive change in the world, you can't be positive. You kind of have to be pessimistic. You have to share the dire warnings. Like, look, if I'm saying,

oh, we'll fix climate change, then that's not going to galvanize people to fix climate change, is it? Do you know what I mean? Whereas if I say, oh, we're never going to fix climate change. What is going to galvanize people? Well, fear. Yeah, but if they I say, oh, we're never going to fix climate change, well, fuck. What is going to galvanise people? Well, fear. Yeah, but if they're not afraid now, they're

never going to be. I saw a thing where they were on the streets the other day talking to people. They bumped into this guy. He wasn't that old. He was in his 60s. And they said to him, you know, what are your concerns, you know, in terms of the future of the country? He goes, well, to be honest with you, all this environment stuff, I'm of an age now where

I don't really care about that stuff. Because he basically his argument is well i'll be i just burn tires in my garden for fun just find people more they'll start to listen nobody wants to to be honest if you hit them in their wallet yeah they'll start listening that's the only time people listen do you think that's actually going to work because the problem is yeah that's what works for for no no i agree but the problem is corporations the problem is yeah that's what works for for no no i agree but the problem is the problem is there is no consensus anymore it's literally if the other side is doing that we'll do the opposite there's no actually that's a good idea what you'll have is one party will come in they might well bring that in but then another party runs on the

undoubtedly very popular platform we're going to roll all that back. So then they win in a landslide because everybody's sick of paying these taxes. There's no consensus. There's no drive to actually make things better. It's just to win and be in power

long enough to, I don't know, siphon money off to your mates, which is apparently what happens regardless of who's in power. It's just about siphoning money off to your mates.

I've abandoned faith in the entire fucking system. I realize it's because I've had a terrible start to 2024, so I may be very pessimistic, but I've kind of just given up. i kind of just give up to the people to make this change bring them back vince needs we need to get them back i so we i need to work on what i'm gonna say to monera wilson and i would appreciate your input i was thinking i'd open by i'm gonna storm into her constituency

office i'm thinking i'll boot the door open, like I'll get my DMs on, boot the door open, like bam, walk in, and I need to slap a piece of paper on the table in front of her, but what could be written on it? On the paper should be written, how do you like them apples? And you should actually shout out when you slam the paper down on the paper, how do you like them apples? Right. And then she'll be like, what? And then like them apples right and then she'll be like what

and then she'll be like oh fuck it's twice i didn't like them that much the first time the second time i don't like them either he took the time to write it down and he misspelled apples unbelievable hate apples on the topic of youtube journalism i watched a um a documentary youtube a documentary on youtube uh about uh boogie you know boogie 292 i haven't seen it yet is it good oh my god it's uh man it's it it hits close to home like in some ways because obviously because he's a content creator and he lives off of um um youtube money or well did i. I don't know if he really does anymore. But it's just about his fall into being, well, broke, ultimately. Just lots of bad decisions and just bad lifestyle choices.

And man, he spent a lot of money on prostitutes, it turns out, over the years. Tons. years tons yeah yeah i have to watch this i have to watch this because i remember watching this guy back in the day 10 years ago yeah he just went i think he just went through a point in his life where he was just is the video called boogie 2988 is going to die in poverty is that the name of the video called Boogie2988 is going to die in poverty? Is that the name of the video? No, the YouTube, hang on, let me just find the one. Is it the dark, sad life of Boogie2988? That's the one, yeah.

The dark, sad life of Boogie. No, and he posted a video 15 hours ago on his channel, Goodbye YouTube, brackets, Why Everyone Quits. Well, basically, I mean, I remember back in the day as a guy a sad guy who who kind of was very overweight but also kind of originally he sort of made these joke videos as this character francis who was kind of a big yes big nerd right and the idea was that people kind of he was like a big i think he played might have even played world of warcraft and he he just would make these kind of ranty weird videos about his character being weird and then obviously transitioned into

a real youtuber but i think was continually struggling with his weight and eventually got his stomach clipped i think that's the thing this uh the gastric band surgery yeah yeah he lost he lost a bit of weight and then he had his teeth done then that was the last i heard and that was about five years ago. And then he went into the prostitute city. Great. What a fucking journey. I think the prostitute stuff might have been ongoing throughout.

When's that gonna be in our life? When are we having this prostitute era? You can do it whenever you like, tomorrow! When are we getting into the hooker era? Okay, but the thing is, we're not talking about like, you know, him. You won't even go to a strip club with me, Lewis. Going up to a corner and paying 50 bucks for a quickie. This is like $2,500 for the prostitute, but also taking them out for dinner.

Like he'd spend like five grand in a night. Oh, the girlfriend experience. Yeah, it was that. Do you know what? Ironically, the girlfriend experience is that she's just kind of a bitch. She don't really like her very much. Man, oh man. Oh, no, I love my girlfriend now, I- Oh my god.

Oh my god. Um. Oh dear. Fuck's sake. But yeah, I don't know, I can't really recommend it, I only watched about 20 minutes of it. I was- Oh good.

I don't even know how it got recommended to me. It's very sad. But when I saw it, I just thought, oh, this looks- what the hell? Like, there's a documentary? And so I watched it a bit and it is a bit sad, and a little bit dark as well. So you know, I think the title was maybe well chosen. I've gotta say, if you've made a successful video and your name is Mike Clumb, congratulations.

Because you've overcome quite the hurdle there. Mike Clumb on your face? Mike Clumb won't come out of these cock trousers? Come on, Mike Clumb. Anyway, so yeah, I mean, I don't know if it's a great one to watch. It's a bit sad. It's a bit depressing. Anyway, I've been thinking about what to ask your MP, or tell an MP, but I don't

even have any fucking idea. Ask your MP what- ask her for a reaction to the dark, sad life of Boogie2988. This is the kind of shit people ask fucking MPs, isn't it? It really is. I'm going to go to, I suppose the gist of it is, there is no oversight body. People are like, oh, tell Ofcom. But all of these institutions are completely powerless

because in most cases, the oversight body for an industry is established by companies in that industry. And they'll sign up to one that they happen to be a founder of. This is something companies do all the time. And governments are often happy to say, well, we don't know anything about your industry. So you guys, you look after it and make sure it's all above board. And we'll trust you for some reason to do that. So to my mind, Virgin Media and any ISP selling a service, if they're saying to you, look, speeds might be variable because we can't guarantee you

100 meg upload and everything, that is fair enough. There'll be environmental factors that mean too many people on the line or your equipment or whatever it is. You should have a business line, which you shouldn't be affected by any of that. The business line, the Virgin offer, does not do anything when it comes to contention. Contention, for anyone who doesn't know, is if you have the cables in your road going to the junction box, or whatever you want to call it, sort of the box at the end of the road that then might be on fibre to the main exchange, who knows. Everybody on those lines is essentially sharing those lines. And contention is that my signal is bumping along in that bandwidth with everybody else's,

and if too many people are using it, you end up with high latency, lost packets, stuff like that. Yeah. A business line does not avoid contention. They don't offer that. You do not get your own line. What's the point of offering a business line? Exactly.

That's gotta be the main feature of a business line. So if you have a private leased line that you have them lay and pay for, as a business, as a company, it's hundreds of pounds a month. That is one thing. But the business line that they offer to people in their houses who don't want to spend four or five hundred a month on the line just means you get 24 hour call out if your equipment fails that's it so i was missold this a few years ago when i thought this might be a solution the woman on the phone assured

me no more contention you'll have your own line i was like perfect and then when that the contention was still bad i called up the technical support and they said why were you told that that's not the case i was like well your own fucking employee told technical support and they said, why were you told that? That's not the case. I was like, well, your own fucking employee told me that. But it was like the office in Kuala Lumpur,

not the technical office in the UK. So they didn't know. So I cancelled the business line back to normal line. There is one in 10 homes in London have access to fiber.

One in 10. That is fucking shit. Is that true? For a major fucking capital city that's meant to be this European place of business. Oh, business, London, London business. We're fucking incompetent. We can't even get fucking fiber in the capital.

It's ludicrous. I can't believe that. It's true. Blame Vince for that. It's all over London. It's all over London. Back in my day. Oh, it would be too expensive to dig up the roads.

Well, guess what? It's going to cost you a fucking fortune this is all short-term bullshit in the long term if you don't have access to the most important technology of the day where did you get this stat from you can look it up mate when i google one in ten homes in london have access to fiber your your tweet is the first he's the he's the on. He's the patient zero of the fake news. He's the spreader. He's the super spreader. It says average fiber availability in London is 50%. No, not true fiber.

Not true fiber. Not true fiber. So for example, so here we go. This is open reach full fiber broadband reaches 10 million UK homes, but London area is left behind while parts of this is in the standard while parts of the country have almost universal full fiber coverage, fewer than one in 10 homes and businesses in London have access to full fiber broadband. Open reach has announced that 10 million UK homes and businesses are now within reach of ultra fast full fiber broadband, but it has transpired that parts of London are being left behind.

While parts of the country, these are the vital parts, by the way, Kingston upon Hull, Coventry, Milton Keynes, universal fibre coverage there. But you come to London, few of them want intent homes. Well, Milton Keynes is the city of the future, Flax. You can't compare that. Kingston, 6.5% of homes have access to fibre. Haringey, 6.7%. Yes, full fibre.

What's the fucking point? No, it's not. Yeah, but it's probably just old people that live in Kingston that don't have computers anyway. No, no, no, no. So they don't need any fiber. Full fiber means that I am,

all of this shit that I'm suffering from would not be happening. I would actually have They're concentrating on a different fiber. It's just appalling. It's absolutely appalling.

Okay. I think you're, okay, first of all, you're going to have to keep it simple. Oh, that's my intention. I'm going to dumb it'm gonna dumb it you're just gonna give her like two said two two bullet points or three bullet points and that's it because i think i don't i i think she's gonna do what i do say that doesn't sound like a real statistic google it and it turns out it isn't a real statistic no it is a real statistic i just read it to you in what way you? You're saying half of London has fibre,

just not full fibre. No, no, no, no. I think Lewis is right, though. I think, keep it simple, I wouldn't even get into stats and stuff. I'd say, listen... Did you not read the article? I will fucking post this for you.

You read it and tell me that half of homes have access to fibre when they're literally saying that our area, only 6.5% have access to full fibre coverage. I mean, here's the thing. Virgin Media offers something called their fiber

package, which is supposedly this one gig line with one gig download and 100 meg upload. Most people don't need this high speed. Well, then why have they installed it in Milton Keynes and kicks in a put a hole in coverage? Why are they triumphing that? Is this great connection if apparently

people don't fucking need it? And it's all very well saying people don't need it. You may not need it today, but you are going to fucking need it and it's all very well saying people don't need it you may not need it today but you are gonna fucking need it at some point the internet is the future of pretty much everything and they're denying it to basically everyone in london because it's too difficult they don't want to fucking bother doing it and then companies like virgin are coming in and telling people we're going to offer you this fiber package but it's not fucking fiber so why are you allowed to advertise it can you get a business line installed though into your house twenty thousand pounds what jeez that's what i was quoted by hyper optic the guy

at hyper optic you're just gonna have to write it off and go for it that's why i can't i mean i had a good chat with the guy at hyper optic he said look we are sympathetic to your cause like i i am absolutely on board i i you know i i know who you are and everything i watch the i'm a big dota fan i would love to get fiber to your property but the nearest one because if there's like an apartment building next door to me that has it they can run a line from that line to my house i'd have to pay a bit but it wouldn't be as much but i know yeah i think ravs might have had one installed right and into his place and it was like a couple of grand right if you have which is a lot it is but the nearest exchange the distance from my house to the exchange is far enough that it has to go renting yeah which is crazy he could get kicked out of that place any

time oh shit yeah he is renting you're right so i mean i could do it but the the difference is that the the gap from the exchange to my house means that they would have to spend quite a lot of money running this cable. And that's how much I'd have to pay for that line. And it's just, that's too much. I'm not paying that. I mean, especially when you've got streets and streets of people around here working from home a lot of the time. A lot of people that work in TV, a lot of people that are professionals and would like

to have good internet so they can work from home properly, and Virgin just don't supply it. This would have been perfect for Vince to get involved with because he could have really left his mark. He could have been like, this is Vince's cable that we're running up your road. You see what I mean? See what I'm saying? The Vince cable.

The Vince cable is going to sort out Twickenham once and for all. We're going to get Twickenham into 2024. 100% super fibre coverage. What he can do is... Thanks to Vince's cable. While he's walking around to everyone's house to shake their hands,

he can light himself. Yes. Just tailing out of his pocket like those ships that go across the Atlantic and meet in the middle. Holy shit, man. Don't mind the cable.

That's the Vince cable. Don't tread on it, though. I wasn't able to bury it. Just step over that. It's just in the road. don't tread on it though I wasn't able to bury it just step over that it's just in the road

oh man oh man so yeah the funny thing is you would not even be disappointed about that I would love it you'd find a way to make that work

I'd take it wouldn't you at this point I would take it I would if I was speaking to an MP though I wouldn't go in

with stats no I'm not of course not I would just appeal on a very human level, just say, listen, I have a family. I'm lucky enough where I could work from home. I'm not able to work from home because the service is so bad. I just need some help. And I would just leave it at that.

But I don't even want it to be like me appealing for help, because I would like her to raise the issue of these companies. There needs to be an investigation into companies like Virgin Media, the things that they're offering, the amount they say they're not overselling. But every single person in my area uses Virgin Media because there's essentially no decent alternative. Yeah, but I mean, come on.

Please, for the love of God, nobody email in with fucking, telling me to sign up to fucking Starlink. I'm not signing up to fucking Starlink. I'm not going to switch to someone where the upload speed is measurably worse than mine currently is. By a factor of 10, that's the nearest I can get, would be 10 times worse upload speed.

Virgin, when it breaks, they spend forever fixing it. They're incompetent when it comes to fixing shit. I know you've probably been asked this before before but did you try turning your router off and and on back on again you know what i i will give that a go sips you probably didn't try that i know yeah that's great i'm coming i'm waiting in here with a really obvious one but it's great no it's really appreciated it makes me feel good it makes me feel really good to be helpful that's what i've had in chat for the last month you Have you tried writing on a paper airplane?

It would be quicker. Have you tried pigeons? It's very tempting. But they're just dog shit. Their service status page just says we're in the area. I hear there's a lot of birds at... Sorry to move on. No, please.

Center parks. Is it like a big bird feeding place? I don't know if there's... No, no, you can buy, there's a little shop there. I heard it was very overpriced to get the bird seed there. It is, yeah. You can bring your own bird seed if you want to, or

you might just want to see how you feel, and then off the cuff, just buy some bird seed. You can get some peanuts for the squirrels if you like to as well, there's squirrels. I tell you what, if you go for a walk early, you'll see deer and all sorts. Like, tons of wildlife, it's amazing. Like, I go like, you should just go get coffee in the morning with either my son or my daughter's son and if it's quiet enough, you'll see loads of

deer and all sorts of stuff. It's rabbits. I'll take those pictures, I'll send you. Yeah, it's great, yeah. I of stuff. I'll take those pictures. I'll send you. Yeah, it's great. I love nature. I've been invited to an earth ritual this weekend. What's that? Well, it's at the... I've got a little email here.

You should. Oh, man, you should write back and you should say, thank you so much for inviting me to your earth ritual weekend. Sadly, I'm hosting my very own orgy in my cabin at center parks um which i cannot invite you to because it's already over subscribed there's so many people that just want to get it on in uh in an orgy with all of all of us so i'm i'm so sorry. Signed, Louis. Signed, orgy guy. Orgy man. Orgy boy.

Yeah. Yeah, you should do that. I can send you a link to this, um, if you want, just to see what you think. Um, it's,

it's this. You're going to send him a link to your orgy? Oh, no, no, no, to this earth ritual thing. I see.

Oh, it's an event bright thing. You can sign up. Ecological circus performance. Oh my god. So it's kind of a bit... Who are you going to this with? A friend. Right. How's the old dating going? Fine. Right. Is this

a byproduct of the dating? I don't know how much to talk about this stuff anymore, because last year I got in trouble with a few people that I mentioned on the podcast. Really? And so. Oh, yeah. No, yes. Sorry. Did you actually?

Yeah. Well, I talk about a lot of people on the podcast. I talk about a lot of people. And maybe I shouldn't talk as much about, you know, maybe Ravs will be mad that I mentioned that business insect thing. I talk about a lot of people and maybe I shouldn't talk as much about, you know, maybe Ravs will be mad that I mentioned that business insect thing. I don't know.

Wait, who did you get in trouble mentioning in the podcast? I'm trying to think. Oh, wait. Yeah. Okay,

the pennies drop. You didn't, yes, no. Okay. I got in trouble twice with two different influential people

who are now not talking to me. Oh, no. Wait, again? I thought it was all resolved well it's fine we'll work it we'll work through it well look if they keep up the the non-talking we can spill the beans about all this i think actually do you know what i think it might be worth i think i think on both fronts it might be fine now okay anyway this i so i don't know how much to talk about random people but anyway don- Don't mention names, that's the trick. I'm seeing someone who is quite into these sort of- Earth. These earth things.

Earth things. I love that. And so this is like, it's kind of an immersive, innovative collective of acrobats and singers. It sounds shocking. Man, the things that people will do for a bit of hanky panky i got sent this i got sent this email right it says here all right as this is a ritual we want to create a sacred space and beautiful container for expression right so they're closing the doors uh like a like early on in the afternoon right so you go into this place apparently um it's a large space and it's a bit cold so bring warm layers and layer up right uh optional the optional list is great you ready for this bring some water gathered from a

local spring or river okay i'm bringing an earth ritual bring a container to take some soil because you can rob everybody in there so easily to take some soil and seeds away with you they'll give you their stuff they don't have any stuff imagine robbing holding that place up at gunpoint robbing them god okay let's see what we got oh fuck it's fuck. It's magical beans, got some fucking seeds, what is this, fucking three acorns? Aw, shit, we robbed the wrong place! Bring an offering for the altar, which is like a pine cone, an acorn, or a leaf, etc. Etc?

You can't et cetera that. Well, they also spelled altar wrong. Bring some items for compost, Lewis. And bring a mug for hot tea. There you go. Oh man, bring a whole bag of biodegradable matter with you to say, hey, this is my contribution. Can you compost this for me, please?

We encourage everyone to arrive on foot, bicycle or public transport, because obviously they don't really rate any other transport, I guess, maybe. And also, arrive early to immerse yourself into the space and get a good nesting position. We will have wild tea, a sensory play area, books and oracle cards, tarot, and gentle music. Of course they will. I'm just having a bit of fun. Honestly, if you like this kind of thing, I think good for you. Honestly, like, I never even leave my house, so who am I to judge?

I'm excited for this. I feel like it's something so different to anything I would ever do. Yeah. I'd say it'll be an experience, for sure. Yeah, well, who knows, you might like it. Might be something that you want to do. Yeah, like, I kind of just... I think it might be fun.

Yeah. Yeah, why not? Try something new? I think it might be fun. Yeah. Why not? Try something new. I think it might be interesting. And I'm open to new experiences. You know, it's a new year. Got to try out something new. Because I do a lot of shit, you know?

I do a lot of shit. It's true. And a lot of it's the same shit I've been doing for 10 years, you know? It's true. Yeah. So I'm going to go, I don't know, put my fingers in some dirt and get a disease. Get dirty, mate. Is that what happens?

Get fucking dirty. Get down and dirty, and then start my prostitute era. Hell yeah. Yeah. And start working through my bank balance with 5,000 pound a night girlfriend experiences. Yeah, well, I don't know if he's doing that much anymore, because in the 20 minutes I watched at the start of the documentary, he was very transparent about his finances.

Apparently, he lost about 600 grand in Bitcoin. Wow! Yeah. Oh, good grief. That's a surprise! Well, I'm surprised he had it in the first place. 600. He used to get a lot of views though.

Do you know what? Did you see that x.com, first of all, I think it's lost 70 plus percent of its value since Musk took over. You mean Twitter? No, it's x.com. It's been gone give it to you. Fuck me. Yeah, it is, dude.

What a website. I know. They've now banned people having NFTs in their profiles or something, which kind of surprised me. Oh, really? Yeah, I thought that would have been in his wheelhouse. He would have been all about that shit. Because that was the main reason that people were getting them.

Right. To put them on their Twitter. Yeah. Right? That was one of the only uses of them. I think I was already really losing interest in Twitter before the X. Oh, really? I barely posted on it or read it.

Like I don't even really use it at all anymore. I barely check it. No, that's fair. It's terrible. Like occasionally, I get DMs on it from people but then I usually just say, oh, just hit me up on Discord or something that's a bit... Because Twitter DMs are so annoying as well. Yeah.

There's like some weird lag or something with them, or you never get notified that you've had a response and stuff, and you think back like months later, you're like, I never heard back from this person. You go look and there's a response that you just hadn't- you haven't responded to because you weren't notified about it and stuff, like, fuck, it's so annoying. It is bad. It is proper bad. Yeah.

He's gonna do Twitch though he's gonna turn it into Twitch who is? Elon what do you mean he's gonna turn it into Twitch? didn't Twitch just fire like 200 people or something? well no but he's decided that he's gonna because he live streamed some Diablo 4 didn't he on Twitch last year

are you serious? yeah for real I was surprised he had time he's gonna add monetization. So X.com is going to be, you're going to be streaming on X once your internet's back up. Oh, no, I will not.

And you're going to be using Starlink to stream on X. Just wait. This time next year, Pflax, you're going to be an Elon Musk fanboy. This is my controversial prediction. You're going to be driving a Tesla. You're going to have solar panels installed on your house. You're going to be driving a Tesla. You're going to have solar panels installed on your house.

You're going to be connected via Starlink, and you're going to be streaming on X.com to a new audience of muskers. Yeah, right. Musketeers, you mean. Musketeers. They must have a name. Yeah, they must be the Musketeers.

That'd be stupid if they weren't. Oh, yeah, Musk fanboys. Yeah, they're called cunts,ers. That'd be stupid if they weren't. Oh yeah, Musk fanboys. Yeah, they're called cunts. I remember. Wait! Oh boy. I just... Swifties and Musketeers. Whoa!

Now, they're two very different brands there, sir. It's true. Swifties are fine. We like Swifties. Like, for one thing, she's just making music and, you know, dating a football player. He's being an absolute bellend. I wasn't judging. No, I don't know.

I'm just saying, there's, you know, what are the Britney Spears ones? What are they called? What are the ones that like Dua Lipa? Oh, I like Dua Lipa. Horny middle-aged men is what that group is. She is just a babe, holy shit. She's one of the most beautiful women i've ever seen do a leaper so so some some news this week uh sony have revealed a new car obviously

the japanese company that can be driven by a ps5 controller what do you mean like the like the fucking titan submersible yes like the fucking Titan Submersible? Yeah, it's like the fucking Submersible. It's just about the worst time to reveal this, isn't it? So yeah, you can properly use AR as well to like, you don't even have to look out the window. Oh please no. It's got like cameras. You used to play Game Dev Tycoon, right?

Flax? Hell yeah. The one with- I played it on load. Every time I see Sony, I always think Vonny from that game. Vonny, yeah! Still to this day, every time. That was such a good game, man.

You guys know, I'm sure you guys know, but for anyone that doesn't know, this is quite an interesting little story. There are two versions of Game Dev Tycoon. There's the legit version that you purchase on Steam or wherever, and there's the hacked version, the pirated version, that the guy who made the game uploaded to the torrent sites himself. That version of the game is different, and essentially you can't beat it. And your games, however well they do, will lose money because of piracy. And he put it in his little message and tracked how many copies of the game were legitimately

bought versus how many were pirated. And even for his very cheap game By far the majority was people pirating. I thought it was a really interesting thing Okay, do you want to hear some interesting news from the last week? Yes Someone's dog a Pennsylvania couple are shocked after their dog ate $4,000 in cash That's right, so if they had plastic, that's coming right out the other end, I'm just saying.

The seven-year-old golden doodle, choked down- I would wanna watch them put the dog down if you did that to me. I would stare him in the eye and be like, you deserve this. And then you kind of open- I'm just joking, I would never do that! That's a dog! Oh my god. That is dark, I know. I'm just joking. I would never do that. That's dark. Oh my god.

That is dark, I know. Dark sad life for Chris Lovis. Dark killer. Well, I was going to spend $4,000 on prostitutes, but then Ruffles ate it. So now he does. So now he wants to die. A little live stream, a little X! So they got the poo, and reassembled the money from it. Washed it, and reassembled the money.

That's gibberish. That's gibberish. There's no way. How could you reassemble it? Places don't even accept cash anymore. It doesn't digest, apparently. Whoa, so wait, their money- Where are you gonna go to somewhere and they going to say, card only, and they'll say,

yeah, but you really need to look at this. This is reassembled from dog shit. Please, can you accept it? It's in pennies. He just ate a load of pennies. I think it's, I mean, it's not the worst, probably, stuff that's on a dollar, dollar bills, you know? Yeah.

Cocaine and dog dog poo the two most common things to be found on banknotes so that is that's one that's a new story here's another one uh south korea have decided they are finally gonna ban dog meat related story unrelated story people were feeding their dogs money to fatten them up for Christmas. They were like, this is crashing the economy. It's got to stop. No more dog meat. Apparently only 8% of South Koreans in 2022 said they had eaten dog meat in the last

year. So it's really dropping. Interesting. I mean, because you could pop around to your families for a meal, go around to your in-laws or whatever and they're like, why don't you try some of the stew? And you're like, okay. And then afterwards, like, ha-ha!

That was your dog. He ate off the sofa. Yeah, that was fun. That was fuffles. No! It's delicious. It's delicious. It's so good.

Please can I have seconds of fuffles, please? Oh, no. It's what we've been wanting. There's been a lot of resistance, apparently, still. The dog meat farms and restaurants have tempestuously protested the bill, and only as recently as last November, dog farmers threatened to release two million dogs in the capital. I love that threat. If they don't- Holy crap. If it gets banned.

I hope that when that happens, they play Who Let The Dogs Out, like, over the top of the video. They could do a YouTube short of it. They could. Release the hounds. Who let the dogs out, who, who, who, who. Two million. Well, that might be his name.

Who, that's- Oh, God. Such a bad joke. Who? That's true! Oh, God. That's such a bad joke. That is. That's a bad one, yeah. Let's face it, all of the ones on this are pretty bad. It's a good company. It is a good one, yeah. We've got some terrible jokes on here.

This is what our podcast producer is helping us with. So we can thank Sam for that. I love that. Thank you, Sam. Thank you so much for this. And thank you to shout out to the lovely Tom Hazel for editing the podcast for so many years. Thanks so much. He's done all of them, I think. Yeah.

Since the start. What a lad. Poor bastard. Does a great job. He must hate it. It has driven him crazy. He's never spoken to me in all the times I've been to the office. I don't think he's ever said two words to me. Well, he fucking listens to you for an hour every week. He's sick of office. I don't think he's ever said two words to me.

Well, he fucking listens to you for an hour every week. He's sick of you. I don't think he... He doesn't agree with your opinions. No, he's just like... He's probably one of the people emailing in. You fucking asshole, period. Shut the fuck up.

I hate you. That's Tom. Tom on a note. This is a burner account, by the way. I don't want anyone to know who this is. Yeah. But, yeah. Oh, my God.

Fantastic stuff. Right. Well, thank you, everyone. We'll see you all next week. Yeah. Where we'll probably have a mailbag or something. Oh, my God. Fantastic stuff. Right. Well, thank you, everyone. We'll see you all next week. Yeah. Where we'll probably have a mailbag or something. It's stuffed. My sack is overflowing.

Nice. I can't wait. I can't wait. Bye. Bye. See you next week. Bye-bye.