Triforce! - Triforce! #277: Sword Man Brindley

Episode Date: February 7, 2024

Triforce! Episode 277! Lewis meets with a professional swordsmith, Flax tests a movie theory he's coined called MAMIBOS and we recap some news from around the world! Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

HICKAX Hello Sips, how are you? Hello Flax, I'm good. I'm good. Oh, excellent. I'm good. Are you guys good? Yes. Well, I'm not the best. No? Why? It's been a shit start of the year for me as well, in all honesty. Really shit. Oh, man.

But this is a podcast where we try and be positive and push through. So. Yes. Oddly enough, despite the fact that honestly, in the last 30 days, maybe just over, it really has been pretty shitty for me. A lot of stuff has come up that is just adding up to be really not great. So for example, this was one of the toppers of the month so far.

On Sunday, I'm not going to name any names or give any personal information or anything, but a friend of mine is very, very ill. And we all went down to see him uh like we all got together to go see him um and sort of cheer him up and everything uh and uh we got there we're at a pub we're having uh having a meal and having a couple of drinks and everything and we're down there and i order food and as it arrives what pops up but my old uh heart thing oh no right in the middle of the pub you don't want to steal his thunder exactly all this is going through my head guys guys guys guys i know we're here for this guy

but i'm also dying yeah uh yeah i need to go to the hospital so i was like how the fuck do i sort this out so i'm sitting there thinking maybe it'll go away and of course it doesn't go away and then i'm also thinking do i eat this roast? Because I'm really hungry and it looks really good. But I don't want to turn up at the hospital like, oh, just ate a full Sunday lunch. So I've got a heart thing and I ate a load of cholesterol. Is that a problem? Was that a problem? Was that a problem?

So I said to a couple of my mates, I've got to get out of the hospital. I'll text you. Like going to the bathroom. Right, exactly. Just got to pop to the... Is there a hospital around here? Do you know? Exactly. So we're in Salisbury.

We're in Salisbury. So I don't know it. I look on Google Maps. The hospital is not far. So I think I'll just get in a cab or something like that. So I go... As I'm making my way up the road to where the cabs are, I really am starting to struggle.

And I'm getting really short of breath. And I think, Oh, fucking hell. So I, I, I stop and I sit down and I call the nine, nine,

nine. And the guy's like, you were trying to get a cab. I was like, well, I just, you know, it's not far.

And he was like, don't worry, we'll send an ambulance. So they turned up and I, they were like, why aren't you at the pub? Like if you were at the pub, I was like,

well, I was trying to get a cab and they were very angry with me. I'm trying to get a cab. Uh, but very angry with me for trying to get a cab. Uh, but I did. And then I got there, had the injection as usual. Mrs.

F had to drive down and get me. And I thought I've ruined, uh, my mates get together. Um, I have not got this stress again about the fucking heart thing, which I thought was behind me. Um,

and you know, you didn't ruin his thing. Well, I felt, you felt, you're correct. You're being crazy. Well, I felt shitty. You're being crazy.

Yeah, I felt shitty. I think it's natural to feel that way. Obviously he will have missed you being there, and you missed being there, but we gotta be realistic about these things. What can you fucking do? I don't even know what I can say. No, there's nothing. It was just a shitty thing that happened. what can you fucking do I don't even know what I can say no there's nothing it was just a shitty thing that happened

life sometimes just throws this shit at you you haven't got a choice what was the choice eat the roast dinner and come out and cause like a big disaster it's like one of those times when life gives you lemons and you can't make lemonade yeah you're just holding a shit load of lemons

you're not supposed to eat those lemons just fucking go to the hospital instead leave the lemons there And you can't make lemonade. Yeah, you're just holding a shill of lemons. You're not supposed to eat those lemons. Just fucking go to the hospital instead. Leave the lemons there. Yeah. So that was annoying. I know, obviously, I've had loads of trouble with my internet. Some other, like, various other things have happened.

Your internet troubles have been a complete ball egg. Yeah, obviously. But also, you're responding to it in the most frustrated middle-class dad way. Everyone's trying to help you as well, but their help is just the opposite of what you need. It's so bad. That's just irritated you more. I think what's bothered you most is other people's reaction to you having bad internet more than the actual lack of internet itself. Because everyone being useless around you has bothered you more than not having it.

It is a Captain Obvious magnet, internet problems there's certain games that are also captain obvious magnets and uh but internet issues brings out all the captain obviouses uh that you can imagine and the musk fanboys as well did you did you about starlink fuck off oh man i have been thinking about starlink of course you have who isn't i mean i'm thinking about it right now too well i think the starlink sells this kind of um advert you know how adverts always print this idealized version of the world right where everyone has beautiful hair and everyone's gorgeous and buying this fucking cereal will get you married to a beautiful woman and have two beautiful children right they don't have to sell me that because i'm living it already

yeah but i feel like starlink is the same it sort of glorifies this idea that you could live in a van and live anywhere and do work do your work from the amazon rainforest and blog in a van and live anywhere and do your work from the Amazon rainforest and blog on a beach with a Mai Tai and you could- I pretty much do live in a van now, this economy, you know what I'm saying? Fucking hell. Exactly. It's crazy. It's insane. I don't know what my kids are gonna do. It's crazy. I went to a van man, actually, the other day.

Although he had a luxury. So this guy I met was a master bladesmith. Wow. He came down because he saw our Frostmourne, our sword. I see in you the potential to be the wielder of the great sword, Omnipath. Great sword, Omnipath. As such, I have ridden over much of this kingdom to bring you the ore that will be required to forge the mighty sword.

But first, you must prove your mettle in a series of challenges, each more complicated and difficult than the last. Are you up to the challenge? Do you accept? I accept your quest. You'd love that. You would love that.

Noble bladesmith then it begins I will board your camper van and go all the way to Cornwall I will experience the Butte Tunnel I feel like every boss at every job should be like that you know like just really

selling that sense of urgency around everything you're doing also like don't give me tasks give me quests yeah right i think people would respond so much better to that oh my fucking god and if you gave them a gold coin as a quest reward even if it was just a fake one they fucking love it you can collect how if you collect five per day you will receive one pound per hour. No, no, you set one of them like tuck shops, like in an arcade for tickets. Right.

You have a little box of rewards. You have received one month's rent. Well, I mean, that'd be good. The tuck shop idea would be, people would be so pissed off with that. Because it'd be like being treated like children, right? Just when you said about the tuck shop and getting like little fake coins throughout the day that you could spend only at the tuck shop. Well, no, but you disguise it as something adult. You don't make it, don't call it the tuck shop.

You're one of those bosses. You're one of those bosses that has this little tuck shop and then, but only gives coins to the people he likes that agree with him. Right. And then they're the ones who are lining up at his desk okay this buying 20 rolls and everybody else is already spiraling out of control into depressing drama has been usurped by assholes once again so this guy saw he was um he was in the army i think he was wounded saw he was in the army. I think he was wounded. And he was playing World of Warcraft. And around about the time when they released this sword, this really elaborate reforging of Arthur's sword. I think they made about 6,000 of them.

They were about one and a half grand. And he bought one. He got number eight. And he was a Yogs fan back in the day. And recently he's into miniature gaming. So he sees it in the back of our videos and was like I can't stand your sword being damaged send it to me and

I'll fix it I shall reforge the sword exactly of Anduin and this guy owns like a blade a blade smithing

studio or runs a bladesmithing studio and he's one of the three master bladesmiths in Europe and he is lovely looking man very charismatic like super nice and he's one of the three master bladesmiths in europe um and he is lovely looking man very charismatic like super nice of course um and he told me he told me that he got

an order for 50 blades from the ukrainian government or something do you mean like the the the the the knives he forges are something like 10 times sharper than the nhs scalpel um i thought you were gonna say he only works with obsidian as well so it's that's what makes them i only forge morgue of blades he was talking a bit about that like with obsidian and stuff you need to you you can use that to make these there's this idea of a mono molecular blade or whatever like something it's so sharp it's to a single molecule is this like monofilament wire yeah like that was a sci-fi thing for a while i'm sure we've spoken about this monofilament wire and the whole problem was that once they it was introduced into sci-fi they had to get rid of it because it's so ridiculous that essentially you could kill any single you could it's like the perfect assassination tool you just

pin it across the fucking hallway these people walk through and the monofilament wire just severs all of their you know severs all their heads and they never even notice so it's like you got to get rid of this this is that would be a really fun tool to use in uh hitman world of assassination right just set it up like everyone's on a rollercoaster. Like the tripwire, but it just cuts their heads off. Yeah. Just a row of heads. That would be good. Well, though, like, would it actually, though,

because if it creates such a small injury, would that just instantly, like, be okay? Hmm. Would it actually cheese wire people? What small injury are we talking about here? Yeah, let us know. Email in. If you have a monofilament wire at home, did it take your finger off when you put your hand through it? Let us know.

Theoretically, you could suspend it across a river or a harbour as well, and cut up boats and things. Exactly. You could cut so many birds, they wouldn't know. They don't re-knit, do they? But if you cut your finger off with a monofilament wire- You could cut so many birds, they wouldn't know. They don't re-knit, do they? But if you cut your finger off with a monofilament wire- You could cut bats. Would it be okay? Or would it instantly slip off?

So it's because, yeah, I guess if you're cutting one cell width, not even, is it- Not even one molecule. Do they just smush back together and it's like, well, let's pretend that didn't happen? Or is it, would it sever it? I have no idea. I have no idea. Yeah, scientists, write in. in yeah we need to know so he came down and he brought back his his al al al frostbom

and he had them side by side they look very cool together two two of the old um blades of of of marketing i asked him about whether or not he could sharpen it but apparently because it's like a display piece so you're now the proud owner of the eighth one produced because he stole your your number one one oh my god he might have done we wouldn't have known but ours is apparently unnumbered oh they do have an rfid chip in the in the handle yours is the first one made no i was jokingurs is unnumbered, so I think ours was a promotional one. I see, I see. Because we got sent it by Blizzard rather than bought it. So I think it was, it might

be a special one. Anyway, I don't think it's actually worth that much. If they sent it to you, it's not special. It's got a lot of sentimental value to me, and it was really nice to see him, and he had some interesting sort of stories to tell. And he has a camper van that he nips around the country and I sort of asked him about it.

Does he Starlink? I did ask him that and he said no. Maybe he should think about it. Maybe he hasn't thought about Starlink enough. Maybe he's got to get on your level and think about it. Think about it. Anyway, it was just such a positive interaction with an interesting person, and I had a nice

time. And then we had dinner, we had played a board game. There were other people there. It wasn't just me and him in this weird romantic situation. Nothing weird about it, Lewis? You crack on, son. I'd like to show you my personal collection of swords,

if you know what I mean. Maybe we could have a little duel with them. Oh, goodness. Your sword could duel his sword. I'd hate to see that, actually. That'd be funny. Go for it. You'd pay for that?

Yeah, fuck it. Let's have a look. Okay. Okay, I'll bear that in mind. If times get hard for you. Only if he's involved. I want to see a master swordsmith and see if it extends to see a master swordsmith and

see if it extends to all aspects of swordsmanship it did it did make me think about getting myself a fancy pen knife how do you feel about knives generally do you carry one do you want one do you what about your kitchen uh i live in london so i've kind of got an anti-knife stance okay generally even even for like a box cutter or like an everyday carry if you're the kind of got an anti-knife stance. Okay. Generally, even for like a box cutter or like an everyday carry. If you're the kind of person who's always got a knife on them and like something that needs a knife comes up

and you whip it out, I think you're just trying to be, I think as my kids would put it, you know, sort of, I don't know how they put it actually. It's not, I think they would say that's a pick me thing, right? But that's not pick me at all.

They misuse pick me all the time. Like a try hard they mean yeah i think it would basically be like a sweaty try out is like they almost grunt as they pull the knife out like they got their knife out whip it out and just go to town you're like did you have to bring a knife just in case we need a box opening like we'll just find a biro and use that it's really not a big situation where we need someone who's carrying a deadly weapon just just leave your knife at home i don't I don't want people carrying weapons around in general. And I extend that to knives.

But just like a simple pocket knife for everyday applications, you know? Do you need it? How often do you need it? You might want to slice an apple and eat it on the go. I'm not going to use my fucking pocket knife. Well, why not? That is such a movie thing, isn't it? Guy on the side of the road eating like an apple with his knife.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get one of those like really curved blades, you know, you can like get some nice long slices off that. How often are you cleaning that knife, brother?

Well, you just... You just wipe it on your jeans. Your blue jeans. You just wipe it on your blue jeans and then sheath it. Put it back in its sheath and that's fine, I think. Yeah, there's no need for a knife.

I've managed for years without one. Why do you need one? Why do you need one? Well, I'm exactly the same. What about that Simpsons episode where you had to do the... My trusty bucket knife. You had to get the appendix out

and it exploded. So, I mean, look, if you have a job that entails things where you might reasonably need one, I completely understand. That's different. That's essentially a tool for your trade.

I think if you're a forest ranger, or a Texas ranger, you probably need a knife for snakes. Exactly. But if you work in an office, you might need to cut a rattlesnake out of your boots. Exactly. There's a snake in my boot! You could legitimately say that. I'm sure they do all the time.

I did have a Leatherman in my pocket for a while, and I found that I would just fiddle with it more than actually use it for stuff, and cut myself routinely on it, or trap my finger in it. Of course. It was kind of a bad... Also, generally, I'm a little bit...

So, for example, at home, I have one old knife that used to be super, super sharp, but now it's just not. And I have a box of Japanese knives that Simon bought me for Christmas one year. I think because he'd been round and saw me using this tatty old knife, he thought, God, is this all Lewis has in his kitchen? That's nice. That's a good friend.

I'll buy him some nice knives. That's a good friend. And they're still in the box after five years because they're so fucking sharp that any time I use them, I'm terrified of cutting myself. Partly because we did. When we did our Great British Bake Off parody, I sliced my fingers open on this cheap new knife that we bought. And ever since then, I've kind of been a bit scared of kitchen knives.

And also, I don't cut up meat or anything like that much. You know, vegetables, you don't need like a very sharp knife and i know people will say oh you know it's more dangerous use a blunt knife and blah blah blah blah blah but like these knives that simon bought me are so sharp that and i do use them from time to time but then whenever i use them i have to put them back in the box i don't want to put them in the drawer i don't have like a magnetic knife rack i don't have anywhere else to put them i can can't put... Because they're just super dangerous, so you know, it's like I reverently used to get this knife out of the box,

cut up like some carrots, feel like I hate the whole process, wash it, put it away. I mean, you know, that thing that the blunt knife is more dangerous, I mean, that's why soldiers famously never sharpen their weapons, eh? Because a blunt

sword much more dangerous fuck off a razor sharp knife is way more dangerous because you barely need to touch it and you've cut yourself open yeah i get it the idea is you're having to apply more pressure blah blah blah but the point is just don't just i'm not a chef you can avoid like cutting up thousands of things i'm not professional i'm just a chump who has to cut an onion up now and then but honestly those razor sharp knives when we first got we got some global knives because i do cut up a lot of stuff when i'm cooking and it's nice to have a good sharp knife and until i got the technique down they're like the claw hand grip and all that kind of stuff i was cutting my knuckles i was cutting my fingers constantly and you just you're not paying attention and the knife

glances the wrong way and you've got to cut like they are very very much easier to cut yourself with you barely have to touch them pick and take them out of the dishwasher picking them up off the wall you reach into a drawer you didn't know it was in there you've cut yourself they're that fucking sharp so that whole blunt knives are more dangerous thing is absolute ooey okay so here's the thing you just gotta be careful when i spoke to this guy i said why do you need knives this sharp? So I thought he was going to say, oh, you know, for reasons. But he actually said, because they stay sharp longer, right? They stay useful longer.

So, for example, the Ray Mears bushcraft knife, which they make, costs £500, right? It just looks like a normal kitchen knife, but it's incredibly sharp. Incredibly sharp. sharp like laser sharp and also gosh that is like the fancy gear that is a very but the whole point is that if you're in the in the wilderness you're using it a lot it stays sharp for longer that's like you're out there for weeks surviving yeah yeah but you're not gonna have if you look at this knife is never gonna go blunt or at least takes longer to go blunt because it started off so sharp that blade is ridiculously sharp that is amazing got a very sharp point as well as a very sharp blade but the handle i mean it looks like a kitchen knife like it really doesn't look if you

look this up on on just google ray mears bushcraft knife the first result is 495 pound from Ray's website raymears.com god bless Ray Mears big fan free shout out um this is this is one beautiful knife in in utility terms but it sure it sure doesn't look glamorous which makes me think it's way more useful and dangerous well exactly it's it's it looks like something you could get from Poundland. Yeah. And you wouldn't fucking know. I've still got some old pots and pans from Poundland from way back, and they're fine. You bought pots and pans in Poundland? Yeah, yeah. Used to be able to get them in, well, it's not Poundland over here. It's actually Poundworld over here. Oh, sorry.

Which stopped trading quite some time ago. I don't even think it exists anymore. It's actually Poundgalaxy. Yeah. But yeah, no, we had a set of baking tins and a couple of pots and some longer chip pans and stuff. And we still have them. But did it cost a pound?

It cost a pound. Fucking what? I know. That's why we bought have them it cost a pound it cost a pound fucking what i know that's why we bought them we couldn't believe it we're like oh my god i always like the old adam savage advice which is you know buy the cheapest one you can find use it till it breaks yeah and then buy the most expensive one but don't do that with this bushcraft knife i would imagine unless you're no i think I know if you wanna- You don't wanna skimp on a knife, right? You wanna get the best possible one.

And if it's the most expensive, so be it. Yeah. I have a knife here in my office that I found by the side of the road. Call that a knife? Okay. And it's in a sheath, and it's not really a knife. It's more like a hand saw, like for cutting down vegetation. And I think what happened is that the guys were clearing the vegetation from the side of the road so it doesn't obstruct motorists' view,

and one of them forgot his knife and left it behind. I have no idea who to return it to, so I just kept it. And the brand is Zupa, made in Japan. That's a good brand. Apparently so. And it's got a plastic sheath. This thing is about a foot long. It's terrifying.

It's like a multi-edged saw blade thing. It looks like an orcs short sword. And I have it there just in case I need it for something around the house. I want to keep it away from the kids because they are well aware of it, they were with me when we found it. This thing is terrifying and I know, I don't know if you guys know, but in London we have a kind of a knife crime problem in certain parts of London. Uh Croydon I'm looking at you and these young lads are running around with machetes fucking hacking at each other. This is the kind of thing they're using. So I think this is one less knife on the street, that's the way I see it. Because some,

some youth could have found this and attacked his mates with it. And instead, I'm keeping it safe in my office. I think that's reasonable. I mean, you can buy this in home base. You know what I mean? It's like a garden tool. It's not illegal or anything like that. It's just a garden tool. We found a wallet on the ground a while back and I took it to the police station. Sorry, this is maybe related but not maybe not no that's related that's related anyway i took this wallet to the police station and i handed it in and i felt pretty good about it at the time and the lady's like do you want to leave your your name and and number in case they want to contact you or i was like no because i i feel like i you know

i i i like that the police uh protect me, but I don't want to get involved and I certainly don't want to give them my name and number so that they can phone me or that somebody else can phone me or whatever. I don't need to be congratulated or whatever, like it's just a good deed, right? I found somebody's wallet and I handed it in, they must have been really thrilled to get it back, right? Like, if you lose your wallet that sucks like that's got to be the worst damn thing but then for it to be returned with everything in it that's

got to feel really good i think a wallet is actually just these days yeah it's bad but for most people i think it's just faff right it's like okay you need to cancel my cards oh i lose all my my little notes and my driving license maybe i have to order a new driving license card stuff like that yes it's annoying but i think losing your phone feels so much more of a scary threat because you're like like think about how much shit is now just on my phone like it's it's it's it's frightening like i i i i'm sure everyone has felt this when they've they've they think they've lost their phone for a moment and like this thing goes through their head of like oh my god where do i start like how do i order a new phone do you mean um i could see why people have second phones and stuff for this sort of this sort of reason i was thinking you got me thinking back in the day right when i was a kid um i was i was you

know i was into scouts and stuff and my dad bought me me a BB gun, and he bought me this knife that I looked up, and it's called the Rambo Classic Survival Knife. Jesus Christ. Jesus. And it's just a cheap, shitty knife, right? Look at the size of it. It has a hollow handle with a survival kit. There's a fishing line in there and a survival kit.

In there, yes. I've got my survival kit. It's got Match's fishing line and a hook. I'm trying to do this alone, but it's very hard. Needle and compass. And the compass is on the handle at the end. And it was this kind of meme from the 80s, right? And I didn't realize when I was a kid that it was from,

you know, called the Rambo knife. Dude, there were so many Rambo toys that came out in the 80s but that film was an R rated like 18 movie and the original Rambo didn't glamorize violence

it was like about you know him coming back from the Vietnam War and struggling and all the rest of it and going crazy and then the subsequent

ones were glorification and the third one was him fighting the Russians in Afghanistan and ends with a message praising the Taliban you can look this up this in Afghanistan and ends with a message praising the Taliban. You can look this up. This is true.

And there were loads of Rambo toys and video games. And I'm thinking, how are kids seeing Rambo? Irresponsible parents. Well, obviously I wasn't. But I think there were these brothers and people talking to... It's the same way kids today see stuff that isn't designed for them. Right. And we were kids too you know

we i managed to get to see you know texas chainsaw massacre and aliens by the time i was you saw it you saw it way after it had come out at a friend's house and they had a pirated vhs of it nowadays i was a teenager by that point i wasn't like eight of course but nowadays like the kids know the pin code that we have for netflix you know they're not idiots because they see us enter it every time we fucking, you know what I mean? Like, they're not stupid. So if they wanted, they could watch the scariest horror movie on Netflix that they could find because it's just there on the fucking telly.

But when Rambo came out, it didn't come out on VHS for years. Yeah. So how are these kids watching it? If they want to experience true horror, Maybe they could browse to the account section where it tells you how much you pay for Netflix every month Am I right? No Actually want to talk about movies I want to talk about a Theory of mine that I've come up with I'll be interested to hear if you guys have noticed this as well. Before your theory, can I say to you guys that I have seen a movie recently? It's

a new movie. It was Wonka and I loved it. I thought it was really good. I thought it was going to be really bad when I went to it. The trailer made me think it was really bad, but Mrs. F and my youngest loved it. It was good. I don't know if I would have, again, like Center Parks, I don't know if I would have enjoyed it as much if I had just gone by myself as a grown ass man. But my kids really loved it and it was just a really fun atmosphere and the songs and everything were really good. It was really good. I liked it. I would recommend it to take your kids to. Awesome. I'll check it out when it comes out on Thingy.

Yeah, it's fun. Yeah, it's fun. Yeah, it's good. So my theory is called, this is the acronym, MAMIBOSS. Right? And it stands for middle-aged man is indestructible because he is old school. Okay? This is the thing that you will notice MAMIBOSS in a lot of movies. Okay.

All right? So I'll give you an example of some of the movies that are on my MAMIBOSS list. The Equalizer, Mr. Nobody, the Jack Reacher movies, the Mr. Inbetween TV show, Unforgiven, Taken, the later Die Hard movies, History of Violence, Homefront with Jason Statham, all of these movies. If you haven't seen the movies, I'll explain what Mammoth Boss is. Wait, was Unforgiven the one with the Clint Eastwood one? Yes. Right.

Now, in all of these films, these guys will basically kill a room full of people, quite often in hand-to-hand combat or in a gunfight or whatever. And because they're old school and have knowledge- What about a blade fight? They win. What about who? What about a blade fight? Do you mean the movie Blade or a fight with blades?

A fight with blades. So in none of these films, I can't- I think in Equalizer, he definitely uses a knife. In Mr. Nobody, he uses a knife. I'm sure he uses one at one point in the Jack Weecher movies. I don't know about Mr. Inbetween, I haven't seen enough of it. Unforgiven, he uses guns. Take and he generally uses guns or beats people up. Die Hard 4, I don't think he uses a knife at any point.

History of Violence, he gets stabbed in the foot at one point. I don't remember him using a knife. He definitely shoots people. And in Homefront,'s just jason statham beating people up these guys are all either at least my age or a decade or two older than me and yet and there's what there was there was one with robert duvall in and i think michael cain where they're in a bar and he beats up all these young kids it's all and clint eastwood is in a lot of these uh gran turismo or gran torino not gran torino yeah um there's there's quite often uh in in a lot of these uh mammy boss films sometimes there's a barely disguised bit of racial element to it especially the clint eastwood ones

he beats up a bunch of young black guys and he's like punk kids you know what i mean that's quite common but generally speaking it's a guy in his 50s or 60s kicking a bunch of 20 year old guys ass and these lads are all jacked because he has some clever you know experience or uh or he has some good patter like he'll be like his last chance to walk away and of course they don't listen and then he has to beat them all up one by one and put their heads through things and then they escalate it and then he starts killing them it's such a common trope and once you've seen it it's hard to unsee and honestly it's pathetic and i think this is basically marketed to me this is for my demographic middle-aged men dads who might once have been quite tough not me obviously in that instance but thinking yeah i've still got it i'll show these young kids. There's a lot of YouTube compilations

of these guys beating up what they call road men. In other words, mainly young people of color getting beaten up by like fucking Colin Farrell or some other guy. Really? Yeah, loads. And there's all these movies. Young people getting beaten up by middle-aged men.

It's a huge thing. Look it up on YouTube. You'll find a ton of them. Jesus. Your thoughts. As a person who's seen many movies and not really acted out any of the scenes that I've seen from those movies in real life, I have no idea what to say. Really? No, never. That's cool. I've never once- For the listeners out there, let me know. I saw a fighting movie and then left the theater and thought I need to fight somebody.

I'm just saying, I think it's basically, I think it's playing into a very specific mindset of people who hate young people, think they could definitely still beat them up and that they're all silly and that they're all front. And that's, you know, we'll get him in there with someone like Robert Duvall, you know, and honestly, you can watch this scene. I can't remember what the film is called. Let me look it up. Why do people hate the way that they do? Like I was reading an article about this. Secondhand lions. This guy, this man.

He's ancient. This man in England was doing an extension for this woman who disputed it because he didn't do a very good job apparently, but he took the full money for it. So, she was like, they had an argument about it because she was saying, I paid you all this money and you haven't done the job right or whatever. And he bludgeoned her to death with a hammer. Jesus! And Lester laying at home for like, dead for multiple days. And then her friends came by one day to check on her to see what was

going on and she's just dead and this guy just like you know just going on with his business like throughout those days he's gone to the pub and whatever what the fuck like yeah people are crazy this is insane he must have seen one of these uh mammoboss movies and thought maybe he did yeah but i i don't know there are non-violent examples too the most prominent that i can think of is a film called the intern with robert de niro and anne hathaway anne hathaway is a successful business business woman she's running her own business but she employs a bunch of millennials and of course as we know all young people are fucking worthless flakes and in comes robert deiro, this fucking ancient boomer,

who sets it all right and fixes everything. And they're all so grateful to him. And it's all just straightforward common sense. And all these young folks look to him for inspiration and he basically saves the day.

And this was a guy who'd retired. And then he comes in and fixes her entire business and guides her through all this sort of, you know, the problems she's having. I'm like, who is this person? Yeah. Who is this appealing to?

It's basically appealing to old people. What is this fantasy as well? These young kids don't know what they're doing, that's it. Yeah, why do people need that at all? It's not even overly interesting, is it? Like an old man sorting out children. I do that every fucking day. It's no even overly interesting, is it? Like an old man sorting out children. I do that every fucking day! It's no big deal!

I'm just saying, I want to do a reality show, where we get some geriatric 80-plus year old, like fucking De Niro, stick him in an office, a young tech startup, and let's just see him. Let's see him fix things. Let's see him put it all to rights. And suddenly, yeah, the business runs better, because they got some old gripper to solve everything. He's sitting at his desk, eating an apple with a pocket knife.

Oh, Mr. De Niro? We need the accounts files sorted out. Get away from me, I've gotta leave my apple. Whips a knife out. Fucking unbelievable. Feet on the desk. Cowboy boots on the desk cowboy boots on the desk fucking hell you're right this is a very strong trope i i think it's always been though that it's it's the career revenge movie too it's like um

oh god what's that stupid movie called old guy revenge the classic revenge movie old boy yeah old boy and and and obviously um john wick guess, is the modern successor to that, right? Yes, yeah. I didn't want to mention John Wick because there's a lot of John Wick fanboys out there who will come for you if you criticize it. I think they're like John Wick. Yeah, I think they're like Swifties, but they're Wickies. Wickies.

Well, maybe John Wick has taught them to hunt down anyone who wrongs you and mammy boss them. They're deranged. They're people, i don't know like i think we are still affected by culture and seeing stuff in you know makes us feel less bad about our actions as well you know makes it it's it's it's hard it's hard it's hard not to get wrapped up in these the messages told by Hollywood, right? And other things. I think if you're fucking stupid, yeah, it's hard to... It's a movie. It's a fictional movie. What are you doing?

Yeah, but stuff's going into your subconscious, you know, the whole time. Tell me, like, you know, I don't know about the movies I watched 10 years ago, and what they're- it's almost like the worry about plagiarism, right? I'm really worried that if I wrote a book, I'd plagiarize so much from so many places that I didn't even realize I was plagiarizing. That's not plagiarism, then. That's just- You don't need to worry about that. No, plagiarism is directly copying, right? Like, you're not- you'd be copying

word for word, and then getting in trouble for it. But like, I just- If you've got an inspiration for an idea- Yeah, as long as you didn't put a line in there like, on the third day at dawn, look to the east. You know what I mean? Which is like, clearly from Lord of the Rings, or use the Force Luke. That's plagiarism.

But if you have a character who uses some mystical ability to help him, that's fucking Harry Potter. That's half the fucking movies out there do this shit. It's not plagiarism. It's just perhaps unoriginal. But yeah, plagiarism, you can't accidentally plagiarize, I think, because you'd have to be very unlucky. I mean, it has happened that two separate people have written almost the exact same

thing at kind of similar-ish times, or someone has ripped someone off without realizing. Look at music. Happens all the time, that someone comes up with a melody, they haven't heard some obscure 70s prog rock song that featured that melody, and everyone's like, oh, they plagiarized it. It's like, well, I don't know if they did. That is kind of up there for questioning, but I don't think...

If you wrote something, Lewis, I think... Put the idea of plagiarism from your mind. Worry about it being original, but I mean put the idea of plagiarism from your mind. Worry about it being original. But I mean, geez, you know, fucking Bodega wasn't original. It was like a parody of a whole bunch of bloody sci-fi stuff. It's not like it was some fresh new idea. No.

Oh, by the way, it's now available on Spotify. Nice. Oh, sweet. Yeah. I've heard that. Oh my goodness. Thank you for allowing me to mention that. Don't forget to say before we continue.

I was about to say that. Sorry. Before we continue the show, Sips, using the internet without ExpressVPN is like not paying attention to the safety demonstration on a flight. I always watch that. I don't know about you guys,

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Thank you very much. Do it now. Just do it. Give us some news. You always have some news. Give us some interesting news. Okay, so first of all, church appears to use Steam logo. In a strange twist of events, a church appears to be using Steam's official logo.

It is. It is. That is hilarious. Where is this? Where are you seeing this? New Jerusalem Church. official logo it is it is that is a very low where is this where are you seeing new jerusalem church it's you can google it up but it's very strange that someone decided to use the the valve icon the iconic valve icon as their church's billboard now i wonder whether i always wonder about this

you know if you get like a friend or an artist or someone local to do your art for you, how could you guarantee? Because I think a lot of people have been scammed by AI artists or just people ripping other people's art and passing it off as their own on commission. And I don't know why this church ended up making this really cool logo. But is it made by an older member of the congregation or is it made by like an older member of the congregation, or is it made by like a kid? I wonder if the guy who made this logo was sitting at his desk one day and coming up with this logo, and it's like, man, I hope I'm not plagiarizing or copying somebody's

work here. I've had this idea for a long time, it's just formulated in my mind, I'm ready to put it down on paper. I think it looks good, I think it holds up, I think it looks good i think it holds up i think it conveys a lot about what we're we're doing here i just hope i'm not copying somebody you know that's the only thing that's putting me off right now it's like in the same way the article mentions that a skincare company used the resident evil umbrella corp logo without me realizing the meaning behind the brand you know it's a kind of evil conglomerate. I like that stuff happening, but

yes, could it just be a joke? Could it be plagiarism? Could it be an accidental coincidence? Or is it on purpose to sort of drum up publicity? I'm a very cynical person. I assume everything is fake or someone's idea of a viral marketing stunt. So I just don't know. I'm just not sure. Anyway, a game have announced their release date. A mobile game have announced their release date and the date of the shutdown in the same tweet. Wait, they're shutting it down? Yeah, so it's launching in February and confirming that it will have no more service

from May 31st. Why?! They can't afford to pay for the servers until they get some whales on board. It's just bizarre. That is so strange. They have to land some whales, and then maybe that date will extend. They'll have an extension. In the same tweet. Yeah.

That is amazing. That is insane. So it's like a pop-up mobile game. Like one of those pop-up shops that you get. It's just a pop-up game. This will only be here a while. This will only be here today. Yeah.

How interesting. Elon Musk, Starlink, do you want to get a bit of news on him? Yeah, go on then, a bellend. So he decided

that Tesla would be paying him $55 billion. Yeah, no, I saw this. This is a lot of compensation for his CEO.

What a coincidence. I've decided that Tesla is going to pay me $55 billion as well. Yeah, same. I need it. I guess you could do that to avoid paying dividends to the rest of the people who own the company. So I was reading about this the other day.

And as I understand it, the company was incorporated in Delaware. And the reason that a lot of places, a lot of companies do that is because apparently there's a lot of experience of that. Like, I think the government in Delaware has done this a lot. I know that sounds weird, but as I understand it, that means there's a lot of people that know what they're doing when it comes to this kind of stuff, in terms of the governance of Delaware. I mean, I'm making this sound terrible, but essentially everyone does it there, so everyone knows what they're doing there.

Is that so? They go to Delaware, they set up a company in Delaware in order to pay themselves a lot out of their company. That's another thing as well. Can I list a couple of interesting facts about Delaware? Derail away. Fuck it, wind off! Delaware is known for historical landmarks. It doesn't say which ones, it just has some.

Chemical manufacturing. Hell yeah. It's also say which ones, it just has some. Chemical manufacturing. Hell yeah. It's also a tax-free state. No way. And it's the first state to ratify the constitution. Oh, wow. And therefore, a large number of companies are incorporated in the state. It has a huge agricultural industry, and it has a financial industry, including the presence of many major

credit card companies, probably because of the tax-free nature of the state. I don't know if it's tax-free, because I think you still have to pay federal taxes and stuff like that. I suspect that the state taxes- There's probably a very reduced corporation tax or something like that. Something like that. But I mean, I don't think that you pay federal income tax, right?

You have to pay income tax everywhere. Yeah. When you're talking tax-free, it's usually of benefit to either a company or to somebody who doesn't live there and storing money there. Because Jersey is the exact same. Right. Everybody just assumes that nobody pays tax in Jersey, which, of course, is ridiculous because if nobody paid any tax here, this

place would not run. They would have no services or infrastructure or anything. So of course you have to pay income tax. It's the other tax. Well, the thing about this is that the most billionaires don't pay any tax, because they don't actually get paid. What they do is, they own shares in a company. So Jeff Bezos, for example, he owns a percentage of Amazon, right?

And so instead of declaring a dividend and taking that money out of Amazon, or selling his shares, which we would have to pay tax on to get money, he just goes to the bank and takes a loan, a very low interest loan, that basically means that, with the collateral being the shares right so he and

he doesn't so when he has to come pay that loan back all he does is take another loan from someone else to pay that off and so you roll over these loans and you never have to pay any tax right because you can basically because it's you own shares of amazon you can always get yeah if you need to free up money you you can do it easily. There's tons of little tricks like this that are very simple. Do you reckon he has money on him? Do you reckon he carries around a bank card and has an account that does have some cash in? Would you reckon he never ever has to pay for anything? Yeah, he's probably got a little pocket money account.

Do you reckon he actually is like, I'll get this? He's got a couple of quid in there, you know, if he wants to buy a pack of cards. Nah. Geoff is never tapping the little- Stick of gum. The little till thing. He's never going into a coffee shop and like, I'll get these, beep. He's never doing that.

I think he can, but he isn't. Geoff doesn't pay for shit, I guarantee you. Well, I think, no, but Geoff is given by his assistant a wallet with five credit cards in that have 10 grand on them or whatever. No, no. And the work are in his name. No. And do you know what I mean?

He's never doing it. And he's probably got like a couple of thousand dollars in his wallet at all times. No, never doing it. You don't reckon? No, I don't think he ever touches money. I don't reckon he ever pays for anything. Like the Queen. Yeah, it's all brought to him.

He's constantly chaperoned around by people. Yeah, well, he's going gonna fucking stand there in the queue waiting to pay fuck off he sends someone off to get stuff if he needs it or it's brought to him I think he

I think he could for a show get his wallet out there and pay for something you know if it was a if it was a stage thing like do you reckon he has a guy you know the way there's a guy

with a president with the nuclear football suitcase like handcuffed to his arm I reckon there's a guy with Jeff's wallet walking around like that and anytime jeff some for some reason needs to make a show of paying for something this guy turns up opens the suitcase jeff takes the wallet out pays puts it back in they close

it up lock it up and that's that there's no way he's walking around probably special people whose job it is to make his life more comfortable right Because I don't know if I'd be comfortable with someone else having my wallet, my phone, my car keys. Oh, he's got his phone. He's got his phone. But Jeff ain't paying for shit. None of these guys. They ain't fucking paying. They get someone to get it for them.

He probably just walks around with a gun all the time. And when things don't go his way, he just shoots someone. They probably have like 10 people as backups just in case he needs to shoot someone when things don't go right like 10 people as backups just in case he needs to shoot someone when things don't go right and we're not talking about like we're not talking about the the the top of the pyramid the high level deals or whatever this like day-to-day stuff that would really annoy the shit out of him you know no no neighborly just like a dripping faucet yeah he just shoots it pow yeah he just shoots it. Pow! Yeah, he just shoots it.

Or shoots somebody within range to show his displeasure. You know what I mean? I can see that. His internet's gone out. Well, fuck it. Game over. He's shooting like 10 people in a row. I'd go shoot some virgins as a reference to virgin media.

Yeah. All right, I've had a lot of messages about this this week, Lewis. I need you to comment on it. Are you ready? Yes. Kyleer oh no okay kyle walker has been rumbled oh yeah he has he has been rumbled it's true he had two children with another woman yes he had i think he already had three children with his wife and cheated on her with this other woman but she had a baby i presume they've recovered from this then it turns out he's done it again, she's had another baby, and now it's all over. I've had like 10 emails, Lewis is right, Kyle Walker's a cunt, like just constantly. And people on

Instagram sending me stuff, people on Twitter just desperately trying to get me to ask you your take. He saw it coming. He could see around that corner. The minute he met Kyle, he knew. I didn't know any of this. You can't know, but he's... I don't know. I don't really care. I didn't really care from when I met him. We've been through all this.

Maybe he was stressed out because of all of the other kids that he was raising. Maybe you didn't give him a chance to... I can't be happy. you know maybe you didn't give him a a chance to i can't be happy i'm not saying i'm delighted that old kyle is um turns out to be not a very nice man i think i think he's just famous and stupid right those two things are and no one's no one says there's no to him do you mean i think you can just this is the power combo of being a big physical man, being really dumb, and being famous. Do you know what I mean? And being well-paid. I feel so attacked right now.

It's a power combo of... It's like the recipe for being a scumbag. Right? Yeah. What is that recipe? Footballer, rich, stupid, and what are the other one I said? Physical. Big. So, you know, this is a weird one, but you know Google,

when you just go to the Google homepage, they'll have like a picture of someone on the Google homepage. Yeah. And you click on it and it takes you to like articles about that person. It'll be like a celebration of a person. So I up google today is it kyle walker no it's it's james baldwin who was a he was a sort of writer um in the 60s and 70s i think he was very big wrote a lot about the struggle of black people in america in the civil rights era very safe pick he's not getting cancelled right j he? Right, James Baldwin legend. I clicked the homepage, I just glanced, I thought it was Bill Cosby.

And I thought, are you fucking kidding me, then? Why has Google got a picture of Bill Cosby? And I clicked it really quickly and I was very relieved to see it's James Baldwin. It is not a drawing that looks like James Baldwin. It really doesn't. If you look at it, it's a very bad representation of James Baldwin. It's probably very bad representation of James Baldwin. It's probably AIR, you know? I just opened YouTube, and it's serving me up videos for Uflex. Oh, what have you got?

Well, I got one called The Great Great Ape War and How We Won, and then there's another one here, Senile Gamer Leave Teammates Baffled. It's a 13 minute long video, and it's- That's all the senile clips. About you. No, it's all the senile clips from my stream. Yeah. So it's like every time I've just done something and people make it into a Twitch

command, like exclamation mark senile 27 will bring up a specific clip. So I just downloaded them all and stuck them in a video for archival purposes. Weird. Oh, that's great. Weird. No, it's a bit weird that I'm getting served up all this stuff on my recommended. Sorry. Your videos, PFLAX, do you want to talk about them?

What do you mean? Well, so you made a video on your channel. It's basically like rather than you writing, it's kind of like a little video essay. Right. Only you're just doing it to camera. Yeah. In your pants kind of thing. Yep.

It's like the lowest effort video essay. Absolute. Well, I mean, in terms of the production, it's just me talking and with some clips. I'm not going to bother an editor with this shit. I'm just fucking around with ClipChamp, which is like the free Windows editor thing. And it was just, I just, we were watching TJ Hooker.

We've been watching TJ Hooker on stream and we're on like season four now. We're plowing through it. It's a dreadful show. But there was an episode with an orangutan in it. And it got me thinking about all the things that I remember as a kid that had chimps and orangutans in.

Never gorillas because they're like too dangerous. But I was like, damn, like when did this stop? And when did it start? And what was the point where we stopped using animals in that way? Why were we using them in the 70s and eighties as much as we were? And it wasn't a very long, I researched it for like a day,

found a bunch of clips, read some articles, and then just put this stupid video out. It's just, I just wanted to do it. I just wanted to talk about it. So I just thought, fuck it.

If I have an idea like that about something I want to talk about, I'm just going to do it. Yeah. I really liked it. I thought it was fun. I thought it was like good. I thought it could have been slightly higher production value. Of course.

But of course, now you're saying you made it in Clipchamp in a day. Right. That makes sense. But this is the kind of content that you like watching on YouTube anyway, and I also like watching. Did you get copyright flagged for it? I didn't monetize it. I can't because I tried. Believe it or not, the only clip that came up as, if you run this, you'll get hit for monetization, was the Tarzan clip. Okay.

Yeah, which is like a 20-second clip of a black and white movie from, I think, what, the 40s, 1943, 1944, that features a bunch of Germans mistaking a chimpanzee for Hitler on the telephone. That's the clip. And YouTube was like, oh, yeah, you can't use that because it's got a bit from tarzan well the thing is like as soon as you give it like a week and there'll be another bit of it will be claimed then another week another bit will be claimed and you'll be at this permanent war right and you'll never ever get any money from this of

course so i've got um this is an essay that i wanted to do it's it's very long it's really long it's about action movies and i've been wanting to do it for ages and um i realized i i reached out to another guy that does videos uh about movies on youtube and i asked how do you get around clips and copyright he goes i don't he goes you put it out there and every time they come back you just have to edit the video or change it or do what you can. Or cut the clip. Right. But essentially, you just get fucked. So I thought of a way around that. But unfortunately, I'll talk to you about it afterwards.

He's figured it out. I have figured out a way around it. God. Well, I mean, a lot of people use like horizontal flip. No, no, no. It's much cleverer than that. I don't think that works anymore. But it also requires more work. It also requires more work.

Like I said, I'll talk to you about it afterwards. We'll see what you think. All right. Other news. More news. Amelia Earhart. Do you remember her you about it afterwards. We'll see what you think. Alright, other news. More news! Amelia Earhart, do you remember her? Amelia Earhart, yeah. Amelia Earhart, sorry, I said her name wrong.

But it's a long time ago. She was one of the sort of pioneering aviators around the world. Yes, that's the one. The one in Hearts of Iron IV, there's a newspaper thing about her. It can go one of a couple of ways. Yes, yeah. Well, she was trying to fly around the world and went missing.

And they think they found her plane now at the bottom of the sea. Nice. Because I think there's been clues as to where she last was. And interestingly, Jimmy Hoffa is in the cockpit. Crazy. Well, I think they didn't make it to

Howland Island, which is halfway between australia and hawaii which is in the absolute middle of it's called it's called howland island how land how water how how land i don't know in this city oh no found by a guy called tony romeo which is a hell of a name first the fucking guy finds the titanic and now he's found a fucking plane oh well unbelievable right on this guy fucking tony romeo oh man i guess it's it if your plane runs into trouble anywhere else you can probably get to um somewhere to land but out in the pacific ocean it's vast isn't it and there's very few places to stop even howland island i think is not really an island and you know what is it but well i think

it's like a reef or whatever or like a atoll or something i mean it's like um howland island is an uninhabited coral island oh it's a coral island just located just north of the equator so impossible impossible to land on it's halfway between hawaii and australia fucking hell you don't want to be there dear god no well maybe you do i'd like to be there oh my god i think there was a time when people lived there there was a prehistoric settlement on there. It was cited by whalers in 1822. They must have thought, look at the size of that whale.

And then they're like, oh shit, it's an island. There was some guano mining there for a while. There was a place called Itasca Town from 1935 to 1942. US presence in the Central Pacific, a rotating group of four alumni and students from the Kamehameha School for Boys. All right, that can't be real. Yes, it from the kamehameha school for boys all right that can't be real yes it is well it was he was a legendary polynesian king but they stole that oh okay yeah they plagiarized school for boys are you kidding me yeah yeah it was it was based on

he did he was a famous guy oh okay fair enough my first ruler of the kingdom of hawaii oh fair play yeah uh so yeah they set shit up there. There were people living there and then they were like, this sucks. Got attacked by the Japanese and I think they just left. Jesus. Now it's a wildlife refuge. There you go. So yeah, they might have found Amelia Earhart's plane.

Interesting. And Tinder have warned users in Colombia to be careful. Oh shit, I read about this. This is nuts. in colombia to be careful oh shit i read about this this is apparently at least eight u.s citizens yeah in colombia have suspiciously died since november after meeting with local women okay it's not suspicious at all let's be honest there's nothing suspicious about it it's just why the fuck would you go on tinder in colombia yeah meet me at this location in the jungle uh bring thirty thousand dollars okay honey i'll be right there lad goes missing come on come on this is

just this is just straight up murder for money there's no fucking mystery about it yeah local catfishes slash thieves are slipping americans and other foreigners a sedative known as devil's breath oh no it's an odourless drug that makes people well basically knocks people out and and then they steal all their stuff my dog apparently also makes them suggestible enough to hand over passwords and things oh this is like some fucking jedi mind trick in a drug that's crazy yeah so a lot of um a lot of people have sort of come to Colombia drawn by this Starlink digital remote lifestyle. And they're getting robbed. I want to live in a van with full access to the internet in Colombia.

In Colombia. Jesus. Good luck. I don't know. Can I just add that to a list of places I will never go? Please don't flame me for that. I don't want to go to Colombia because of the crime and the drugs. I was was gonna go until i heard about this yeah i was gonna go there i was i was i was thinking about going for sure but now yeah no not anymore chance staying home where it's safe

senile gamer leaves teammates baffled yeah two hours ago you posted this yeah it's up on my feed straight away yeah yeah oh my god get it on that trending page boys okay i'm gonna refresh my page and i'll tell you what's come up senile gamer these teammates baffled has come first this time hell yeah so i don't know what you've done you've cracked it you've cracked it it's trending now unmonetized well it's only trending for you guys because you know me yeah but how does youtube know that i know you? How does it know? How has it connected the dots? It listens to the podcast. Oh, all right.

Okay. So- Great podcast, guys. Great podcast. Fun stuff. It's a bit disjointed today, but I think we made it work. No, it's cool. This last couple of minutes where I said great podcast is the only thing that's going to

make it into the actual podcast. So at least it's a positive one. We did talk about some stuff we had to cut because it was just like, it wasn't working. So it did get a bit disjointed. I blame Lewis Brindley. Yeah, me too. It's fair enough. I love his work.

We just need to keep your secrets safe. Keep it secret. Keep it safe, as they say. As they say. Don't plagiarize that in your book. One man said, yeah. Oh God, is that from someone? Yeah, just reverse it though. Just say, keep it safe, keep it secret. No problem.

Yeah, no problem. And instead of like one ring, have like a dozen of them. It's frightening, isn't it? Have five golden rings. Five golden rings. Yeah, just do that. Just do like a mishmash of Lord of the Rings and the 12 Days of Christmas. Christmas carols. Yeah, just get it all in there. Just say, this is my big mashup idea. And if anybody says that you're plagiarizing,

just say, no, I'm not. And then carry on. Yeah, it's a mishmash. Because what can they say to you? If you say, no, I'm not, boom, they're dead. Yeah, boom. The judge just shrugs and bangs his gabber. Yeah, just well. Airtight, as far as I can tell. Alright, see you next time everybody thanks for listening