Triforce! - Triforce! #298: Lovers over Legumes

Episode Date: September 25, 2024

Triforce! Episode 298! We're back after a few weeks break! Sips updates us on yet another Center Parcs holiday, Lewis "Babe" Brindley blows up a hoover and Pyrion invites us on a lifetime cruise where we have to make our own prison wine... Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It's funny, classic, you will enjoy it. I enjoyed it. And thank you very much for sponsoring this. On with the show Hello everyone welcome back. Oh the triforce booker speeds so long what a summer vacation it's been everybody went crazy and wild and nasty, but we're back. Not me. We are back. I don't know when the when was the last time we recorded it had to be in like maybe the

start of August mid mid August. I think yeah, I guess it was. Yeah, everybody's just been away doing stuff. You know, it's the way it is. What did you do Lulu? Nothing. I've been here. He's just been here with the cuz he Covid, so he's just been at home.

I didn't even necessarily have Covid, I just got sick. Licking his wounds. Just after a mixer, you know, that shit happens. A mixer? Yeah. The Catalina wine mixer? Was it that one? We had a Jingle Jam mixer, where we met all the charities, met all the game devs, you

know, it was like a kind of little nice friendly get together, it was really cosy. But of course, you know, it's a super spreader event. Jingle germ. Thank you. Good. But Sips, you've been to Disney back? No, not Disney. We went to Central Parks and came back.

Of course we did. Just to check if it was still exactly the same. It's exactly the same. But I can't convince my kids to do anything else, they just want to go there. Months and months and months in advance, they're like, are we going to Central Parks this year? Did you book in all the activities? No. Did you see the falconry and the...

No. We're seasoned veterans now. We book the night before you were gonna do stuff, you know. If we decide to do stuff. We don't really do any advanced bookings for... Did you do like the finger painting or wall climbing? No, we did, uh, what did we do? We did teddy bear making.

My kids really, really love that. We played, uh, pickleball. We played badminton. The fastest growing sport in the world. We went, we did mini golf, we went swimming multiple, multiple times per day. I was exhausted when I got back. Cause I don't move. You were just one big wrinkle.

Yeah, I don't move, like generally at all. So having to walk to a pool and then swim and go, I think I went down the rapids at the pool probably a billion times. You're like one of them creepy dummies that they have in a shop, you know, and they dress it up. That's you going down. I can imagine you in that pose going down the waterfall. I am. I just go down like, I don't even, there's like no joy in my face while I'm doing it or anything. I'm just on autopilot, you know? Like I may as well just be a mannequin. You're wearing like an H&M top. You've got that pose, like the hands out.

Yeah. We had a, we did, we went to the pancake house a couple of times. We had a couple of barbecues. We did a whole bunch of bike riding, lots of bike riding, we got like one of those little uh, like cabooses for the bike for uh, for my youngest, so she was able to sit in that and she enjoyed that while everybody else was biking. When we went to the pancake house, um, my friend was overwhelmed with choice, because they're gluten free so they can never normally eat pancakes. But all of them are gluten free and there were any toppings were also like

veggie and vegan. So they were just like, they literally had a panic attack. It was like very adorable. I was surprised because the last time we went, my kids did this thing where it was like build your own pancake, but it was basically a really long drawn out dessert. You know, like it was just, they, they covered their pancakes in like chocolate and sprinkles and there was like brownie crumbs and stuff. They didn't want to miss out. There was like such an opportunity here. They wanted, they couldn't pick.

But we went this time and they just did normal pancakes with fruit. So we were like, Oh my God, fantastic. You can actually just have some pancakes with some fresh fruit. And it was nice. Really good. Got like some raspberries and strawberries. That is my highlight as well of the, said the Pucks, the pancakes. Well, I went in, in like the coldest week of the year. So it was like snow, you know. Yeah. I think it's, it's a different... It's better in summer. Different time in the summer for sure. You get out and do stuff.

And the nice thing is, it's in a forest, so even if it's blazing hot out, you get that canopy, right? It's probably about five degrees cooler than everywhere else, because of all the tree shade and stuff. So it's nice. You get a little breeze or whatever, it's good. But yeah, it was fun. I was very reminded of said Pops the other day, because I did a mystery quest with Tom.

Okay. That hasn't got out yet. I'm not really spoiling it, but it was sort of set in a... In Centerparts. ...modern cat type vibe. Right. Yeah. And man, it's really cool to do these little Dungeons & Dragons-y things, roleplaying things,

in a setting that you're very very familiar with. Yes. Because you know all of the little details, and they all just come into your head immediately. Centerparts would be a good setting for a zombie apocalypse as well on that topic. Oh yeah, it would. I know, I'd watch that movie, you know, that would be great. Like, load of families and like, oh there's so much drama there, right? Yeah.

Oh, everyone's expecting it to be a lovely holiday, happy time, you know, needing a holiday. And then it's like a zombie outbreak. A trip to Centre Parks wouldn't be complete without the mandatory and obligatory... We went on the ferry, we took our car, and the... From Jersey? Yeah, the ferry was very bumpy. Nobody was sick on the ferry, so we got to pool and we're like, Oh my God, we've done it. We've managed to get three kids across the channel without anyone puking.

So we went to Asda and everybody bought like sandwiches and milkshakes and stuff. Baby had a strawberry milkshake and a whole bunch of other stuff and then got sick in the car. Yeah. And the car just stunk of puke and strawberry milkshake, and still does. I was in the smallest classic. There's still like a very faint whiff of strawberry milkshake and puke. That is literally rubbing fate's face in it. I know.

I know. And expecting him not to send you know. We were so foolish. And expecting him not to send you vomit. We were so foolish. We got to Asda and we were like, it's party time. Let's go. We bought everything. We were so pleased to just be off the boat. Everybody just stocked up on snacks and everything.

And then, yeah. I think maybe I was driving too fast or the roads were too windy or something, but yeah. My youngest used to get carsick a lot, and it was generally, if she'd eaten something and then got in the car, that was it. We had to wait a long time. And milk especially. Milk especially. So milkshake, that's always gonna hurt.

Honestly, I totally can smell that smell. That smell is what your dad... Oh, dad car used to smell like, by the way. I think you blocked it out a little bit. Very faintly of puke, yeah. Like pukey milk. Pukey, pukey milk. Yeah.

So, I love the facial expression that they have just after they've thrown up. They just look so stunned, you know? Yeah, they can't believe it. How could this happen? And we're just looking back there like, who's cleaning this up? It cannot possibly be me. Why have you done this? Yeah, we had to pull over and like, oh my god.

What is the- And it was dark too, so it was kind of hard to find all the puke spots and everything. Oh man. Oh, that's lovely. Yeah. Centre bus. Just set the car on fire. You know, the police would be like, yeah, must have been kids burning a car and it's

like a couple of parents who had enough. This one was done. You don't want to know officer. Yeah. It was fun. It was a good trip. It was nice. Good to get back.

We got back and then a couple of days later everybody went back to school, so it was a nice cap to the summer. One last hurrah before everybody goes back to the grind. Yeah. One final spurt before you return to reality. That's right. Yeah. I know.

Well, I mean, you were in Sweden, right? Who? You were, P-Flex. No, Copenhagen's in Denmark. So, I spent two weeks away on holiday at the start of August, and then I had one week at home. Then I spent a week down in Bristol, and then I had one week at home. Then I had two weeks away, just over 16 days in Denmark, but TI, and now I'm home.

And I've thankfully got a few weeks before I fucking have to go anywhere again. But my god, I've traveled a lot this year. I've done a lot of work in and all the work I've done has been like long stints. Yeah. Um, but there were a couple of funny stories from TI. I don't know if you guys heard them. I didn't watch any TI, I'll be honest. Normally I tune in a little bit, but this year I just didn't have them. I didn't watch any TI, I'll be honest. Normally I tune in a little bit, but I just didn't have time and I didn't feel like it

was time to have a Dota binge again. So yeah, you catch glimpses, you know, because I'll sometimes be browsing the front page of Reddit and they'll be, because I'm subscribed to the Dota subreddit, some of the things will get, you know, the upvoted stuff. But that's all real. So did you see that for the official merchandise, they sent, sorry, they sold these black hoodies that say The International 2012, and it says Copenhagen on the back. But they misspelled Copenhagen. With two P's. So it says Copenhagen. And they immediately upon noticing this, hold them all from the store.

I managed to get one before they were thrown away. The best part is, somebody at PGL was obviously responsible for this. As soon as the error was discovered, somebody notices that the Wikipedia page for Copenhagen has been edited so that it says, other names for Copenhagen has been edited so that it says other names for Copenhagen include Copenhagen. ALICE Right. SEAN The edit was made by a PGL employee. ALICE No way.

SEAN Because you know the edits are all visible? ALICE Yeah. SEAN So if you trace the IP address of the last edit, it traces back to PGL. ALICE That is such a big brain move! SEAN I know, but how fucking funny is that? I mean, I understand, like, these mistakes happen. It was funny enough on its own, but for them to then try to hide it somehow, well that's what it appears.

If that's not the case, whatever. It's a funny fucking story anyway. That is funny, yeah. Which is the fact that someone edited the Wikipedia to put Copenhagen in there. That really cracked me up. That is such a big brain move when you make a mistake, though, right? Go and edit Wikipedia. Yeah.

Is it a big brain move, though? Given that all the edits are publicly visible and you can see who made them and when? I dunno. Well, aren't they semi-anonymous? I mean, you know the IP. It's a ballsy move, I would say. It is ballsy. But you could scramble it through a VPN, surely, and make an anonymous edit.

RILEY Yeah, but the timing on it would be pretty sus. The day that the Copenhagen mistake is discovered, someone edits it to add exactly the typo that you've got as one of the possible. ALICE Classic. RILEY That was funny. It was really funny. ALICE Classic.

RILEY But honestly, they did a pretty bloody good event. This was the first time that EGL have really been sort of the main driving force. Valve have normally been responsible for TI and have been there and PGL have sort of been doing the work, but Valve have been steering. This was like, you know, Valve had not, they were sort of not even in the backseat. They were a couple of seats back from that. So they were maybe offering some advice and some requests, but it was almost all PGL.

A big event like this? Very, very hard. Very, very hard to put on. And definitely not easy. And when Valve did TI, they scaled it up from very small to gradually bigger and bigger. And obviously all the stuff they'd learned in those previous events they were able to put into action. So when you're suddenly doing an event of this size and this much attention, it is very hard. And I think they did a decent job. I know there were some problems, but it was a good tournament. There were some things that they could iron out, but hopefully in future TI's they will. But it was a long two weeks. I didn't have any days off, which is a little bit annoying. But yeah, the only days off I technically had were the travel

days. So it was a proper fucking stint, I'll tell you that. Not too much traveling for you though, eh? On London to Copenhagen is pretty straightforward. No, it's like an hour and a half flight. Yeah, it's not bad. There was a pretty bad delay on the return flight, but yeah, it was easy. Last time you got given Uber Eats vouchers every day, right? We had the same thing.

This time it's the same thing. We had Walt. Walt. And I don't know if it's just Scandinavia or if it's a European thing. Walt? Yeah, Walt. W I don't know if it's just Scandinavia or if it's a European thing. Walt? Yeah, Walt. W-O-L-T. And we got 550 Danish kroner a day, which is about 50 quid, roughly.

And luckily, Denmark... Who could buy a pretty succulent meal for 50 pounds? I managed to eat completely satisfied. Had a little bit of money left over at the end of every day. It was absolutely fine. And there were loads of choices, but Walt's delivery is pretty slow. I don't know what's going on. Was it mostly delivered on a bike?

Because I find my experience in Europe is mostly by pedal bike. Somebody turns up on a pedal bike with you. I think there were some pedal bike lads, some scooter lads, but there were quite a few cars because everyone's, this is the thing everyone's ordering to the same hotel. Right. You've got all the talent for all the languages. You've got all the teams, all their support stuff, PGL people, all ordering from Walt, so there's literally a convoy of cars pulling into the hotel and

they'd be turning up with like five or six orders at a time some of these guys Because everyone orders from the same place. So they turn up with all these bags So you couldn't do that on a bike. You'd have to do it on a car. Hey On our way back from from Center parks my favorite place We stayed we stayed stayed overnight in Bournemouth. That's your that's my neck of the woods. Yeah. Yeah. It was really nice. We went, uh, we checked out the pier and we walked around in the big park that sort of attaches to like the winter gardens. That's cool. Yeah. Yeah. And it kind of connects up to like the, the high street and stuff. It was,

yeah. Yeah. It was nice. Really nice. We're not what it was sadly. It's a, it's kind of a dying town in a few ways, like a lot of British seaside towns. Um, I don't know. When we went there, the day that we got there, there was a big air show on and it was rammed. Yeah, the air show was pretty great. There was people everywhere. Lots of people wearing no shirts, but not people that you'd want to be not wearing a shirt.

It was lots of old dudes wearing, not wearing their shirts. But that would spill into like, we were in Primark because my wife and my daughter wanted to do a bit of shopping and there's just some dude with no shirt on like standing right, it wasn't me, just standing right next to them. I thought you were cool with it. Yeah. And wow. Do you not remember a previous episode? You were like, yeah, you can wear whatever you like. I'm no longer cool with it. Interesting experience.

Yeah. I think some, I think in some, some context, maybe a shirt is required, you know, like sure as hell is you want to be next to some guy with no shirt on all the time. So it's just, it's just uncomfortable. He looked like a, like a lobster, you know? He was very red, but quite large as well. Like a large... So the sad thing about Bournemouth is, when I moved there, I moved there in the mid-80s.

It would have been 1984, 1985. And growing up there, it was very peaceful. It was not an exciting place. It was full of old people. All the old stereotypes about it were, it's not an exciting place, it was full of old people, all the old stereotypes about it were, it's just a retirement, massive retirement home. And it was jammed with old people. But it had a lot of really wonderful houses and some genuinely nice architecture, it was all these sort of Victorian and Georgian massive houses. A lot of that sadly has gone.

The town centre that used to be excellent is awful. All of these great big old shops that were really landmark shops are gone, closed, dead, been replaced by tat stores and vape shops and bars and clubs as far as you can see because it's just become a stag and hen do. Well, I feel like maybe it's turning a bit of a corner because we found an HMV and went in there and bought something and they are selling all of the old stuff in HMV. Like it's all like old vinyl. I'd say that's a sign of disaster. Mostly nerd stuff now, you know?

It's like, it's... Isn't it Funko Pops? It's all stuff like that. Yeah. It's all like, it's basically, you feel like you're at like a convention, you know, like Comic Con or something like that, yeah. It's all like, basically you feel like you're at a convention, you know, like Comic Con or something like that. But there's lots of vinyl, and then occasionally, there's like a couple of CDs, but I don't think anybody buys CDs anymore.

There's a couple of tapes, I guess, for people that want to collect those sorts of things. Were you in the town centre? Yeah, it was like, yeah, you know, like you like the lower winter gardens connect to like, you know, like the like the town center. Yeah, it was, it was all right. It didn't seem too bad. But I mean, I have no, I have nothing to relate it back to. It was great.

I mean, it was like so many shots and it was always busy. And you'd go down there and you'd see, you know, you'd see people you knew. And it just felt like that run from the triangle, which any Bournemouthites would know, down all the way up to Lansdowne, there was just all shops. And if you cut off at the Winter Gardens, it was in the summer, it was just packed with people. Bournemouth was very prosperous with tourism.

And a lot of families and stuff. And I don't know if that's still the case, I'm gonna guess it is. I mean... I know that when I've been out there, or I've been down there for a weekend or whatever, it's a lot of young people and they do not look after the beach. They fucking leave rubbish everywhere. It's disgusting. Yeah. Well, I mean, like I said, there was an air show, so it was rammed. I don't know if it's always like that, but it felt like there was a nice atmosphere because everybody was just going down to the pier and eating ice creams.

It's generally a pretty chill town. I'll be honest with you. Yeah, it's nice. Yeah. We were, we were really, uh, really impressed. We, we, we drove in not really knowing what to expect. Like we, we took a little bit of a look like at the, you know, the area that we were staying in, which was kind of close to like all this stuff that we've been talking about. And, uh, you know, we wanted to go check out the pier and stuff, but I mean, the beaches were

absolutely packed for miles. Oh my God, you look down and it's just like, you couldn't even see sand. It just people's beautiful beaches. I mean, honestly, I know I'm biased, but I've obviously I've traveled around a decent amount. I think that the beach in Bournemouth is one of the absolute best in the country. It's five miles long. It's soft golden sand. It's got a really long shelf so kids can paddle out and they're not going to just plunge into

water over their head. There's hardly any waves. And it's because it's in the south, it tends to be nice and warm. Bournemouth beach is fucking great. It really is. Yeah, it looked good. I mean, we didn't go to the beach because we were not there that long. Yeah, yeah.

If we were there for like two weeks or whatever, we'd probably just spend most of our time on the beach because we were not there that long. Yeah, yeah. If we were there for like two weeks or whatever, we'd probably just spend most of our time on the beach. Well, my wife and kids would, I would just be at home swearing. I don't like the beach much. It's too messy, you know? All the sand and stuff. You get all the sand in the car and in your shoes. Oh man, it's the worst.

It is the worst. Lulud pipes up with the fuckin' prequel trilogy reference. HUH. HUH. I get that. Yeah. Fuckin' hell. Yeah, I mean, it's British summer, or the end of it.

You gotta get... We've had our five days or so. It's done. It's over. It's back to... Now the darkness starts to set in, the cold... We always forget. We forget how horrible it is.

I never forget. I was having a clean up this morning in my flat, quick Hoover round. And got my Hoover out. I was doing the lounge and suddenly my Hoover gave like this great rattling, spluttering cough and smoke just billowed out. Jesus. And I was like, what the fuck? I dunno, I've probably had it like ten years or whatever.

What brand is it? It's a shark. What? A shark. It's a popular brand, apparently. Shark Hoovers. They're quite common. You need a Henry or...

Look at Henry's or Hetty. Look at Henry's little face. Yeah, you can get a little Hetty. Well, I feel like Henry's and Hetty's are very like school or office Hoovers. They're reliable. You've got to be an old lady to... I feel like I don't want one of them in my house. Look at his little face though, Lewis.

I know. You can... There's various versions of them as well now. Oh yeah. Like, weird emoji faces on them. Can I just say, whoever at the Henry company came up with the idea of putting a little smiley face on them, genius. I know, yeah. Genius. I think they're great.

So there's also, there's Charles. I didn't know there was a Charles. Charles is slightly bigger. They do a little, like, it's like a portable one. A cordless handheld one. Yeah, a cordless handheld one now, too. We got it. Well, it's not James, let's take a look.

It has like a little scent pod in it, too. We have vanilla. What the fuck? And when you... So if you do like a spot Hoover in your house, you get this nice vanilla aroma. Anyway, it was not a nice aroma in my fucking flat this morning. It was so acrid and disgusting. It was like... How do I know when it sips his kid's been sick.

Did it smell like strawberry milkshake? I couldn't believe it, so I was like, oh no, I think it was like burning rubber, I don't know what burned out. Anyway, I immediately just like, was like, I'm not even gonna bother getting this thing fixed, I just took it straight down to the bin and threw it out. Was it still smoking when you took it down there? You might have caused a bin fire. A bin fire? it out. Was it still smoking when you took it down there? You might have caused a bin fire. A bin fire?

No, it wasn't still smoking. It just sort of spluttered and coughed and exhaled this big cloud of smoke. It was kind of one big puff. It was like some chuffing cigar man had just let out a lungful. It was kind of impressive how it just sort of went... Don't you have a cleaner though? You don't just wait for your cleaner to turn up with their own gear and do it? They use my gear.

Oh, they use your gear? Yeah, our cleaner has... She uses our gear as well. Oh my god. Because otherwise she has to schlep it around everywhere. I mean, we've got all this stuff. You know what I mean? She just...

She cycles over. Was she gonna fucking arrive with a tow and a trailer with all her stuff in? We, we, so she has, so basically she has no overheads whatsoever in her business, except for just, she just has to cycle somewhere just to travel. Yeah. And she's not an industrial cleaner. I mean, do you have cleaning? Do you have cleaning products in your house?

Yeah, we have some. Yeah. Well, I mean, we don't, I don't have a regular cleaner either. So we, we actually have, we clean our house. Okay. With all of our own gear and cleaning products. Yeah. Well, so fuck that. I cannot be bothered. Right. It's I hate cleaning. Well, your cleaner can't be bothered either to bring her own gear, do, do anything more than just turn up and clean and get paid for a time.

What do you, what, what, what is wrong with that? Nothing. and clean and get paid for a time. What is wrong with that? Nothing. Let me ask you a question. Nothing wrong with it, I'm just pointing out that, like, good for her, she just has no overheads whatsoever. She's managed to streamline her business into needing absolutely nothing. And she's got cash on delivery.

I think that's pretty good. She's smart. I think we should all take up new jobs as kids. How about this? Most employees don't bring their fucking equipment with them. What are you on? That's true. You go to work at the supermarket, you bring your fucking till with you from home. Carpenters do?

Yes, but they need specialized tools that people don't have in their house. Although you say that, P-Flax, a lot of people in supermarkets, I had to buy my own uniform when I worked at the supermarket. People do- Nowadays it's changed a lot since the in supermarkets, I had to buy my own uniform when I worked at the supermarket. Yeah. You know, people do- Nowadays it's changed a lot since the 80s and the 90s. Like, if they even need staff at all anymore, you have to pay for most of your own stuff. You turn up at an office, you have to bring a computer with you.

You have to bring all your own office supplies and your computer from home. I think it does, I think it does vary. I think some types cleaners will bring all their own stuff. Yes, depending on the job. And some stuff., I think it does vary. I think sometimes cleaners will bring all their own stuff. Yes, depending on the job. And some stuff. But I think in general they work. In my case, it's quite expensive, I think, getting all the cleaning supplies. I probably spend like, you know, half as much as I spend on paying the cleaner as I do buying stuff for them.

Every time they come. You have to buy all new stuff, is that what you're saying? No, I have to buy one thing, usually, because one or two things have run out. Right. You know, like, they'll be like... I would never expect the cleaner to arrive with all their own stuff, is that what you're saying? No, I have to buy one thing, usually, because one or two things have run out. Right. You know? Like, they'll be like... I would never expect the cleaner to arrive with all their own stuff, unless they were doing a very serious crime scene cleanup. I realistically wouldn't expect it either.

You should see my place though. I just think cleaners have pulled a blinder on us, because I just think it's amazing that they don't have to have anything whatsoever. They can just... ALICE They also don't get sick days, or a bunch of other things. GEOFF So, first of all, they don't earn a lot of money.

So they haven't pulled one over on us. It's not like we're paying them a thousand pounds and we have to do all the work and provide all the supplies. They're doing a job that I don't want to do. Cleaning someone else's house is pretty unpleasant. I wouldn't recommend it. ALICE They have to come to your house don't want to do, cleaning someone else's house is pretty unpleasant. I wouldn't... They have to come to your house. It's gotta be the worst job.

Yeah. So they have to travel here, all the time that they're travelling between locations, they're not earning any money, they're not on the clock, they have no PAYE, they have no... there's no employer pension, there's none of that shit. No. No paternity. They're literally self-employed, a lot of them women, a lot of them older women, just trying to make some fucking' corn, I'm

saying I have no issue laying on some fucking cloths. No, no, I agree. Working with toxic chemicals? I completely agree, but I still think that it is a little bit ballsy to be like, yeah, I'm the cleaner, I'm turning up, do you have all of the supplies and equipment for me? I could not disagree more. I have nothing. I could not.

I didn't buy anything. I will say, it is a fairly active job as well, like physically active, right? Yes. Yeah. Like to actually, you know, scrub everything and push the Hoover around and you know, run about and stuff. It's fairly physical, you know, and so what we're doing here is keeping all those old ladies in good nick, you know? Like, I don't know, I'm trying to... It's not all old ladies though. I'm trying to make a, like a shiny, like a, you know, every cleaner I've seen is really toned. You know? Do you think that cleaners generally are very good at cleaning though?

I feel like a lot of the ones that I've encountered aren't that particular, you know? They just sorta... Right. They seem to cut corners and stuff. You know, even at hotels and stuff, you know, they just sort of, they seem to cut corners and stuff, you know, even at hotels and stuff, you know. I remember one time, one time we stayed at a place and there were no, all the cups were dirty. You know, you go into a hotel and there's like a little, usually there's like a little

tea caddy with cups and whatnot. And you know, they'll have like tea bags and some UHT milk or whatever. So we get into our room and we go to make some tea, but the cups are like, you know, there's still like congealed tea with milk at the bottom. Like they're dirty. Very common. So we phone up housekeeping and say, oh, can we get some clean cups? Because these ones are dirty. And they're like, oh yeah, sorry. We're so sorry about that. We'll send somebody up straight away. So we were like, okay, cool.

Waiting five minutes later, knocking the door and open up. I'm like, oh, hi. And they're like, oh yeah. Yeah. You need some clean cups. I was like, yep. Notice that they're not holding any cups. They come in and they grab the cups and they rinse them in the bathroom sink.

And they're like, there you go, all clean. What? Well that must be what they do every time. Why didn't you just tell me you were going to do this on the phone? I could have just done that. Like, that's not cleaning a cup. Can you go downstairs and get one that's come out of a dishwasher or something? Like, that's used soap? Like, you can't just rinse a cup, I don't know. Well I think here's the thing, like, maybe...

I don't even know if that's tea in there. That rinse a cup. I don't know. I think here's the thing. I don't even know if that's tea in there. That could be shit. I don't know. Maybe though, like the dishwasher is even grosser, but also that's very common. Like I'm the same. I just empty my dishwasher into the cup and then when I get a cup out, I'm like, Oh, this hasn't cleaned properly. And then I have to go through and find out which ones of them are still have got some like grime in them. Very common. It's just, this stuff happens, you just trust that they'll be clean out of the dishwasher. But I feel like-

A lot of people aren't inspecting every single room. Okay, but if somebody's doing that, and that's their standard for cleanliness, what the fuck? What are they cleaning the room with after? I see. So what you're saying is we need to identify really OCD, really anal people who would be... I don't think you've got to go that far the other way. There's surely somewhere in the middle where somebody with common sense could use some cleaning products to clean stuff. Like, it's not.

I'm not saying that you have to be Kim and Aggie or whatever. I think everyone's going to make mistakes. Kim and Aggie. Fuck me. That show was so good. It was. Yeah. It sounds like that's what's being done everywhere.

I mean, everything else was okay. They just missed one thing. Like, that's what you want, right? I don't want that. You don't. You wanted to, but... What was the big glasses naming? Was that Kim or was that Aggie?

That was Kim. Aggie was the poop inspector, remember? That's right. She'd come in, Kim would do all the hard work and Aggy would be like, right, let's get this person to take a dump on this Petri dish and see what the fuck is going on here. They're like poking at it with chopsticks. Oh, disgusting. So, I always loved the look on Kim's face.

She sort of popped her eyes out almost when she was looking at the person demanding answers. She always had those leopard print with the fluffy cuffs cleaning gloves as well. Yeah, yeah. Do you know who she reminded me of? Do you remember in Faulty Towers? Sybil from Faulty Towers? Yes. Yeah, yeah. She's kind of like that hero of women. A little bit, yeah.

Wherever she was doing, wherever she did, she was dressed up real nice. God, I had a big fucking crush on Sybil from Folly Town, she's such a bad bitch. ALICE Yeah, so she's a weird one, isn't she? She's strangely attractive. Or was, I don't know. But she's still alive? RILEY She just looks like Frankenstein's wife. In the show.

With that beehive hairdo, and the way she looks so pissed off all the time. What a babe. These shows were always such a voyeuristic look into the life of some... A slob. Do you know what I mean? She was in a slob? What are you talking about? Not Faulty Towers!

He's talking about, um, Kim Minaghi. How clean is your house? They're all about... I mean, it still happens today, but it's kind of like... do you have a really gross thing, or a bad tattoo, or a fucking, I don't know, something massively wrong with you or where you live, or are you disgusting? Let's put that on telly, and just embarrass you. They would do the poop thing, but this was a different show, because there was a different

show... I think it was actually Aggie who did a different show where the whole show wasn't even about cleaning houses anymore. It was just about looking at people's poop and then trying to figure out what like they would eat in a week. And they would have their entire, everything they ate in a week, they would put it on a table. And so you could like get like a visual of, you know, how much food you eat in a week and what they were eating. And every time it would, there would be like 24 two liter bottles of Coke, fucking

like mountains of chips, chicken, roast chicken and stuff. Every single time it was just all takeaway stuff. It was like multiple, multiple, multiple takeaways per week. And then I'm sure that in the container there was never even solid poop. I think these people would just give liquid poop from their bad diets. There was a whole show about this. It was awful. What's she doing, like, opening up a Tupperware container? Yeah, basically.

Like, giving it a little sniff. Yeah. Basically. And I can tell you from experience, it reeks. Opening up a sealed container with shit inside, don't ask. It smells so bad. Surprising. Real surprise. Like, it will blow your head off, it smells so bad. Like, it's unbelievable. God. Jeez, I guess that's what the medical people have to do.

It is. Well, that's why they always have masks and PPE. Like, you need tons of it. Dealing with poop. That's why they had those long plague doctor masks stuffed with garlic or whatever. Absolutely. God damn. Oh my god. Just breathing in that insane... Jesus.

So, I don't know how we got onto that topic. We were talking about cleaners. And cleanliness standards, generally. My Hoover bust. Before we go on, let me tell you guys about ExpressVPN. Going online without it is like checking your bag at the airport and not having a lock on it. Who knows how many creeps are going through your private stuff?

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That's E-X-P-R-E-S-S-V-P-N dot com slash triforce. And you can get an extra three months for free. Expressvpn.com slash try force to get three months free. Do it now! Rated number one by top tech reviewers like CNET and The Verge, batteries not included. I don't want to change the subject too much, but someone just sent me this. Florida woman banned from Dream 350,000 dollar cruise as WhatsApp chats leaked. Do you hear this?

No. So get this, this woman, Jenny Phoenix, 68, sold all her possessions and liquidated her businesses to go on a three year odyssey on this cruise ship. Right. But she complained in a private WhatsApp group with some other passengers. Someone shared that with the ship and they booted her out and canceled her contract because she was bad for morale. But get this, which is ridiculous.

Like that's not, you're not at sea exploring the world for three years. It's not Captain Cook voyage, where you're like, you're bad for morale, we're gonna drop you off in Portugal. She's just comp- she's a fucking customer. She complained privately, and they were like, this is too much. But get this. They had this residential scheme, where you can literally live on the boat. Yeah. And this one place offers what's called endless horizon,

lifelong travel for three hundred thousand dollars. So you pay all that money, presumably you're old. You pay a bunch of money. You just live on the boat for the rest of your days. It works out cheaper than like a care home or whatever. I've seen this. Yeah. But they're not going to look after you the way a care home would. I'm pretty sure. No.

If you suffer from dementia, they're just gonna fucking tip you overboard. Sure, I wouldn't trust these pirates as far as I can... If you have a good enough heads up that, you know, things are going south, you just jump over it. Man overboard. This is such, such a... This is crazy, right? Like, it is some evil billionaire scheme, right?

Where, because it's international waters, you know, get them all on board and once we're off shore let's dump them! And they're just chucking all these old people off the side. Into the sharks. I mean, you'd have to pay off insurance, right? But you could just claim that they'd jump. I love how surprised we always are with capitalism, you know? Every day there's something new.

WILL Can you believe these companies are greedy? Unbelievable! ALICE Oh my god! It's almost like they exist only to make profits! What?! WILL This is ridiculous! I didn't see this coming. ALICE What about my services?

WILL I did not see this coming. ALICE Yeah. How old do you think you should be to have to do that lifelong thing? Cause she's 68, right? I reckon you have to be 75. I reckon 68. She might live till 100. She could live for 30 years.

Some people are very lonely, eh? Like, they might want to do it earlier. What if you put a baby on there? If you put a... I think it'd be weird. Retired. A retired baby. It would be good for morale for a while though.

Lifelong cruise. Yeah. All those old ducks on the cruise, they would love a little baby. Be like, aw, cute. Lifelong cruise, here we go. Check if they've refunded her. Yeah, apparently they've refunded some of it, I think. You gotta pay a lump sum, it's not even sort of pay as you go.

I would at least want to pay as you go. No, they want the moolah. That's mad. That is a lot of money to pay up front for something like... Several cruise lines you can purchase, an apartment or condo, on board. And just live on the ship. God, that's crazy. They're gonna have the last laugh, though.

One day the whole world's gonna flood, Waterworld style, and guess what's not gonna be affected? Condo cruise ships. I don't wanna be on some post-apocalyptic fucking cruise ship. D'you know what I mean? I'll be forced to swab the deck every day, I'll be sniffing the Captain's poo... What's the alternative? They released some footage of the submersible that imploded when it was going down to the Titanic recently.

You wanna be down there? Yeah, the front fell off. It looks pretty creepy and lonely down there. It's just like bits of shit. What are you talking about? That's the only two choices for the end of the world. You can either live on a ship safely for the rest of your life, or you can be dead at the bottom of the sea!

Right. So, look, guess this. There is a... You can... Newer Cruise Line offering retirees, and other travelers, the opportunity to purchase on-board condos starting at 352,000 for 172 square feet. I think that's pretty small. At the high end... 172 square feet is unbelievably small.

Like, that's pretty tight. That is ridiculous. Now, let's have a look. When you're on holiday, you don't want to spend much time in your room. You know, you're spending time, you know, on the deck. 172 square feet is like, my garage is bigger than that, honestly. Oh, this is a micro apartment. Yeah.

So that is a, that is a literal micro apartment having 172 square feet. They're diddy. Yeah, they are diddy. So you can get that. apartment having 172 square feet. They're diddy. Yeah, they are diddy. It's for you. You would literally have to have no belongings whatsoever. Yeah. Except for maybe like one cup, one plate, a fork, a knife. You know what I mean? You know what I'm wondering?

You know what I'm wondering? That's about the size of a prison cell. Yeah. Would it be cheaper if you had a lifelong prisoner to buy a fucking berth on one of these cruise ships and just jam him in there? Yeah. Ohhhhh. Send him to Australia. Now we're getting somewhere.

Now we're talking. So you can spend up to 3.2 million for 1,690 square feet. The purchase price, this is a really badly written article, it says, the purchase price includes all meals and beverages for residents, laundry service, onboard gratuities and laundry service. So good they had to list it twice. Yeah, that is a good perk. And there's a fresh food market for residents so you can cook for yourself as well. And you pay a small service fee and you fucking live there for the rest of your life.

You have to buy alcohol though. Alcohol is never included in any of this stuff. That's true. Mmm. And honestly, if your life has arrived at that point, you're drinking a lot. You would have to be. To do all the socializing with all the other people on the boat and stuff like that, you're hammered all the time. You must be.

Alright mate, one word. One word. Pruno. Pruno? Pruno. Prism wine. Yeah, toilet wine. That's so sad! You're all the fucking prunes for the rest of your life!

You're making your own hooch! It's quite appropriate because all the old people need their dose of prunes anyway, right? Pruno, now we're adding prunes! Oh my god. Oh, they need to make a sitcom about this. That'd be so good. That'd be so funny. Every day you get like a little bellboy coming around trying to sell you like nice whiskey or something.

No, thank you. And a shiv. No, I got the prune on. And a shiv. And a shiv. God damn. Lewis, I think it's time for Lou's News, if you've got any. Oh, I got the Bruno. Menashev. Menashev. God damn. Lewis, I think it's time for Luz News, if you've got any.

Oh, I have got some. I'm winging, I love these. It's Luz News! It's Luz News! It's party time! It's excellent! Okay, so, have you heard news from Spain, and generally about Lidl? There's like a social media craze where Spanish people have been encouraged to seek out prospective partners in supermarkets using pineapples.

What do you do? You hold the pineapple in its code. I think it's like a sort of social media thing where a man or a woman like, puts a pineapple upside down in their trolley, it's like, would you like to go out with me? It means I'm ready to mingle. Yes. Now of course, the supermarkets are the last place you wanna be bothered by someone, you know, you've gone out there in your track pants to pick up some, you know, wine gums and Prosecco. It's a crazy night in.

The last thing you need is for some creepy guy to come up to you and put a pineapple in your... I thought you were gonna say vagina. You were actually gonna say it. But apparently Lidl has joined in on the craze and it's encouraged, started a campaign that says between 7 and 8pm you can find love in Lidl by using a pineapple and putting it in someone's basket. If you like someone, bump your trolley against those indicating you're interested in chatting

to them. God damn. Can we not just go up and say to someone, hi, my name's, my name's Ted. Would you like to go for a coffee? I've got to fucking bump my troll against them and wiggle a pineapple at their ass. Like what is happening? I saw the other day, I saw a, a band Nike commercial from 2000 and it was a woman. She's just getting ready for bed.

She's doing like some facial creams and stuff, and then all of a sudden, the guy from Halloween, what's his name, Mike Myers. Michael Myers. Michael Myers. Breaks into her house. Not Mike Myers. Michael Myers. Okay.

Mike Myers breaks into her house with the chainsaw and the mask, and it's very threatening, she's screaming, and she's trying to... Remember, it's a Nike commercial, right? So she's got like a sports brawn and stuff. So she starts running. She's running out of the house and Michael Meyers chasing her. She's outside. She's running through the woods. Michael Meyers still like chasing after her, but she's gaining more speed as she's running and Michael Meyers can't keep up. She's like hurdling all these like obstacles and he's like just slowly ambling over them. He's still got his chainsaw and everything. And eventually she

completely outruns him because it's, you know, it's like a keep fit, you know, buy sportswear, Nike commercial. It's clever, but it was banned apparently. It was too spooky. Yeah. I can see why. Yeah. Yeah. But it was, it was good though. It was, you. Yeah, I can see why. Yeah, yeah. But it was good though. Progressively she just widens the gap between him chasing her because she's in such good shape and she's an athlete or whatever. It was good. So listen to this. According to the articles, the other items in someone's trolley provide clues about their intentions. If you spot chocolates or sweets, it means the other person is looking for long-term relationships or something serious. But a lettuce or legume means they are looking for something more casual. What? What? What the hell? What does it mean there? What the hell? Oh, it's just nonsense. How many legumes do you guys have

in your... I don't even know what I would put... Oh, I see you have some green beans in there. Do you want a quick one behind the beans? Is that what? Is that a full cauliflower I spy? In your jar? Lewis is allergic to a legume. He's allergic to peanuts. Well, no, but that makes me sweat swell up.

You see. Oh, hell yeah. No, you see, you can eat legumes. Rub a legume on my cock, baby. Casually. I don't want a long term commitment. Just peanut me. Nut me. Tamagotchi are back for the 20th anniversary of Tamagotchi Connection.

I don't know what that means. What do you mean, back? My eldest has been running Tamagotchi's for her whole life. Yeah, I never realised that they went anywhere. I thought that they were pretty solid. They do keep reviving. But apparently there's a thing called Tamagotchi connection, which is a multiplayer focused one, that are out now. And they are like, sold out already, probably. But I dunno, some people have a very good obsession with Tamagotchi, and I think they're the people... they like raising these little, incredibly awful looking

gross little pixel pets. Pixel babies that shit themselves and then you forget to feed them. It's kind of fucked up, honestly, the whole thing. A Russian spy whale has washed up dead in Norway. A spy whale has washed up dead in Norway. A spy whale? Yep. There was a spy whale called Valdimir. A white whale. He was trained in Russian covert tactics.

This is ludicrous. His friendly demeanour made him popular amongst citizens despite the fact that they knew he was on a reconnaissance mission. A Russian-trained spy whale. What the fuck is a beluga? Yeah, he is, yeah. So apparently he was named after the word for whale and Vladimir. Valdimir. This is utterly ludicrous. What does he do? He reports back on how many fish he's caught that day. He was wearing a GoPro and a harness marked

equipment of St. Petersburg. That's so stupid. That's so stupid. I don't know why, apparently it's gonna be an autopsy, or necropsy it's called when it's an animal, to find out whether he is, was what he died of. A striker from Bolton Wanderers has been injured after doing a heavy sneeze. It's no joke. His manager says- I've also injured myself sneezing before. They can be very powerful and catch you off guard, and I can, I buy it.

I imagine. So this is what his manager says, I don't know what I'm gonna do, Russian accent, Victor is a powerful boy, and even his sneezes are powerful. So, Victor Adeboyejo has injured his ribcage and back by sneezing too heavily. I can imagine. Yeah, I can too. Be careful. This is just the start, though.

How old is he? This sounds like the very, very start of the full on body betrayal. Yeah, welcome. Welcome to middle age, brother. There is a long list of funny footballer injuries. I know one of them, was it Dave Besson or someone like that, dropped a jar of mayonnaise on his foot and it shattered and cut something in his foot and he had to miss a bunch of time.

David James said that one of the reasons he'd had a really bad run of form is he'd been playing too much FIFA. But he had like, like some RSI. I don't know. Darius Vassel, who was a striker, he had a blood blister under his big toenail. So instead of seeing any of the staff, he just used a black and delicate decker to drill through the nail and get to the blister. Wasn't there a football team who banned sex, like, before, like, two weeks before a big match or something like that? Like they weren't allowed to...

That's quite common. I think some coaches come in and say no sex, like, leave the girlfriends back at the camp while we go to the World Cup, no distractions, and of course everybody's miserable. Right. Yeah. You wouldn't see that happening in Spain, would you? No. They'd be out at...

I just need to go buy pineapple, guys. I'll be back in a minute. I'm just filling up my trolley with legumes. Sorry, I'll be right back. So TikTok, there was a... The latest fraud, the latest fad, was actually fraud. Basically, there was a load of TikTok creators saying they'd found an infinite money glitch, okay, where you could deposit a check, right, with

more money than you have in your account, and it'll come up and then you can withdraw it in another account, right? And it's like, it was like a free money hack celebrated in viral videos, but it's just an old form of fraud called check kiting, where you basically, you know, you have a bank... because I think the modern sort of systems assume that there's very low check fraud going on. They just, if you put a check into your thing, into the machine, it'll just show them, the money will show up in your account before it's cleared. But then obviously, this is a scam. And most people, obviously you have to use your own account to do it, so it's very easy

for people to be caught. So yeah, as usual, TikTok is just making fucking idiots incriminate themselves. Good job. ALICE Very silly. It's genuinely funny that they thought it was a hack. In the same way they're going into a bank with a gun and saying, give me all the money. Good job. Very silly. It's genuinely funny that they thought it was a hack. Can I, uh... In the same way they're going into a bank with a gun and saying, give me all the money, they give you the money.

Can you guys believe it? Infinite money hack! Infinite money hack! You take a gun into a bank and demand their money. They gotta give it to you! You dumb bros. Can I, uh... I know it's loose news, but I always seem to have an interesting factoid to introduce.

No, input! Please! I have another one this week. Maybe can this be part of the sub-segment of the segment or something? Absolutely. Absolutely. We go now live to Fun Fact Desk, Fun Fact Desk with our correspondent, Chris Lavish. Chris?

Well, thank you so much, Ted. This week's Fun Factoid of the week, the plastic container juggernaut Tupperware has filed for bankruptcy. No! Looks like the party's over, ladies. Oh my god! That's right. No more Tupperware parties. What?

They've gone, they couldn't keep up with the new big boys of the day, like Sistema and the other ones that do plastic containers. They just couldn't keep up anymore. That's insane. They filed for bankruptcy. I mean, I guess there's a lot of competition. There's a lot of competition out there. End of an era though, right?

But I always thought, yeah, I thought Tupperware was like the go-to. The one that always sticks in my mind is a green bowl that's very thin on the bottom. I think it was used for like salad and it had just a perfectly flat lid that you could put on and you could put like salad in there, whatever. I'm sure every household in the 80s had one because- They were ubiquitous. Yes. Yeah.

Because I remember my mom would have six or seven other mums over of an evening, and they would have big boxes of Tupperware and they would look at them and they would buy new Tupperware. It was mad. It was mad. It was just too much competition now. I guess so. But yeah, so there you go.

I guess they're packing it up. Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy it up. Ayyyyy, get the fuck out. Alright, what else you got, Lewis? So right, next up, Sony have decided that they've filed a patent, sort of a Nintendo style patent, where it's like some sort of circuitry attached to your, attached to you, to determine what posture you're sitting in. Oh shit, I need that actually. I don't need that kind of judgement. I've got some really bad posture issues. So it can encourage you to shift your body into a healthier way of sitting.

It's definitely a very Nintendo idea, isn't it, rather than a PlayStation. Did you guys hear about that game Concord that came out? Well, they released it. 150 million to make. It was a big Sony game. It was like Overwatch. Concord, yeah. 150 million budget to make, it was a big Sony game, it was like Overwatch. $150 million budget to make, it was released, it sold like 200,000 copies, on Steam it had like, its peak concurrent players, like 600, they closed it down within a week.

And refunded everybody who bought it. ALICE Two weeks after launch. I think they're gonna relaunch it, reimagine it, but I think it was stuck in development hell for like, nine years. Overwatch 1 came out, Overwatch 2 came out, do you know what I mean? How did it take so long? But yeah, I think the writing was on the wall, because about a week before it released, we got a ping that said, oh, do you want to promote this new next generation shooter?

Yeah, me too! I got one as well! I didn't do it! And we were like, uh, what is this? I didn't do it! I'm glad I didn't do it! Geez. So, in other news, Japan have launched a future technology heritage registry. Oh, what's that? At the National Museum of Nature and Science, covering all of Japan's science and technology accomplishments. The list has had a significant impact on the state of people's lives, economy, society, and culture, and they've just added their first games console

to the list. It is the PS2. We are introducing an entire category for fuckable robots. We will be putting these into the archive. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. And we want to add that they think the most they decided that the console that had the most impact was the PS2.

Yeah. I feel like sure. Yeah. PS2 was pretty huge at the time. It was, it was a weird time for consoles though, because when the PS2 came out, uh, the Xbox hadn't come out yet. I don't think. And I believe that Nintendo's, uh, GameCube came out at the same time as well. So it probably would have been the most impactful because I don't think so. It was 2000.

I don't think GameCube was as popular as other Nintendo consoles. Maybe maybe in part because of PlayStation 2. Game, GameCube only did 21 million. The Xbox did 24 million and the Game Boy Advance did 81 million. They all came out one year after the PS2. PS2 came out in the year 2000. So an interesting time everyone was thinking about the future. It is the biggest selling of all time. 155 million.

If it had a year, then yeah, it would have been, right? A year is a long time for anything else to come out. But it was so fucking good. It was. Like it looked cool. It was excellent. There were some great games for PS2 when it first came out as well. There was the new, there was Final Fantasy X, I want to say. I think it was 10 or maybe it was 11, which had insane graphics.

Grand Theft Auto San Andreas came out too. San Andreas. Grand Theft Auto 3 in 2001. Vice City came out for PlayStation 2. Silent Hill. A lot of great games. Yeah, I'm not sure I disagree there. Metal Gear Solid 2, shortly after it came out.

Yeah. It was big. Well, there you go. That's my, that's the news. That's all the news that me and Sam have put together. Well done. Well done, Sam. Thank you so much for the news and I hope you guys enjoyed the extra little segment

in there as well. Oh, we all did. Fun factoid. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Well, yeah. We'll definitely be cutting over to our correspondent Chris in future episodes.

And now with the weather, it's Ted. Over to you, Ted. It's alright. Back to you. Thank you, Ted. It's raining. That's all you need. And now with the sport. Oh no. Oh man.

The Mets continue their push for the playoffs unabated. We're on 10-1 last night. We swept the Nats. Let's go Mets. Let's fucking go Mets. We can do this. Anyway, that's all. Good stuff.

Oh, a little factoid for you. Do you guys, have you guys heard of a play called Shohei Otani? No. So he has a very interesting contract. All right. He has the biggest sports contract in history. Sure. Let me just give you a little fact about it. It is, uh, hang on. Let me just find it. So it is 700 million dollars. Okay. That's how big the contract is. But they only pay him two million dollars a season until the contract ends, and then they pay him a huge amount of money for the next ten years.

So they're not paying him the money now, he doesn't get it until essentially the contract ends, and that's when he gets the money. Which is weird, isn't it? So why is he so good? He can pitch and hit. Which is very strong. Even though they, I don't want to get too baseball-y, but essentially he's also exceptionally good at both. And he's just an absolute phenomenal player.

He's genuinely like once in a lifetime level player. And he looks great as well. He's a really good looking tall dude, so sells a lot of merch. He's great. And he looks great, as well. He's a really good looking tall dude, so, sells a lot of merch. He's great. And he has a great name. Shohei Otani is a fucking great name. I mean, one of the other big contracts was a guy called Mike Trout. Now Mike Trout's a great player.

That's a great name as well, though. Mike Trout. Not as good a name as Shohei Otani. Steven Herring. Oh my, he could be... they've nicknamed him Showtime. Yeah, Showtime, of course. Oh, that's such a good name. Alan Toona.

Toona time, baby. It's Toona time, baby. Ross Trout. Timothy, Timothy Mackroll. Yeah, it's like... They're not great. Although, it's fairly American names, you know what I mean? Like, it's quite a... You know. ALICE. Colin C. Cucumber Winston. That's not good.

ZACH. I think if it was called Mike Trotsinski, you wouldn't think twice about it. Like, that's a very American name. ALICE. Yeah, that is a very American sounding name, isn't it? We should have more people with nicknames like Babe, you know? Yeah. Stuff like that. Well, everybody is Babe and Hun nowadays, so aren't they? Yeah. We got Lewis, Babe, Brinkley.

Right, Babe. Right, Hun. Yeah, everybody... Yeah, it's kind of weird being almost 45 years old and someone calling you hun or babe on social media. Yeah, don't call me hun or babe. It's a very ITV2 thing to do. I know. Oh, you classist piece of shit, but yes. I agree with you.

It is very much, yes. One agrees with you, Mr. Babe Brindley. I wouldn't refer to someone else. Mr. Babe Brindley. Mr. Babe Brindley. Well, alright. Well, I think we're done. Thanks, babe. Brinley. Mr. Baby Brinley. Well, all right. Well, I think we're done. Thanks, babe. Cheers. OK, hun.

We'll see. We'll see. We're back. It's good to be back. It's good to be back. It's so good. Yeah, we're back. We'll see you next time. With a vengeance. Goodbye. See you soon. Bye bye.