Triforce! - Triforce! #34: I Don't Care What You Did Last Summer

Episode Date: February 15, 2017

Pyrion in a police line-up, the addiction of gaming, twitch-bans and Simpsons pre-season 10! It's the Triforce Podcast!   Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello and welcome back to the Triforce podcast. I'm so cheery. Where you are joined by me, Lewis. Sips is there. Hey. Obviously not so cheery this morning. Oh, no, I'm pretty cheery, actually. I'm good. Okay.

And Ted. Period. Who? So this week, period. You said you've been Stephen King-ing it up on your typewriter. Have you been setting aside like a time? Because the way Stephen King does it is I think he, maybe I've read this wrong, but he does like a thousand words a day or he aims to do like a thousand to a thousand five hundred words a day.

And he does it in the mornings, I think. But man, I could be thinking of someone completely different. His strategy might have changed. But he's quite a prolific writer. You know, he gets a lot of books out, a lot of words out. A lot of them aren't great, sure, but some of them are good. And Sips said, what did you say about creativity, Sips? Well, you were sort of saying like it was just good enough to write a thousand words a day and you're good.

But like, as Pyrrhon rightly said, what if they're like just shit words? You know what I mean? Well, that's the thing. I think that if you just, as long as you keep writing, you can eventually get something good. No, but what if you're a terrible writer? You'll never get anything good, but you're just writing a thousand words a day. What a waste of time. Well, the only way to get better is to do it, though, right?

Like, I think just do sheer effort, a force of will of doing it. You'll get better. That said, I used to go to this school with this kid who is, he's probably not a kid now. He's a man, I assume. He's probably my age. No, no, they get locked in time, Luke. That's not how it works. He's still a kid.

He's still there. Go to your school tomorrow. He'll still be there wearing track pants, like eating a fucking jam sandwich and stuff. He has not progressed whatsoever. He was like the super nicest guy I've ever, one of the nicest guys I've ever known. And he used to be a writer. Like at school, he used to want to write stuff. He read a lot of comics.

He wanted to write stories. And he still does today. But I think he, I mean, his following has not increased in the last 16 years. So I'm guessing that he is an example of exactly what you said there. A hobbyist. Perseverance doesn't necessarily grant natural skill. But you have to write from having a good life. Bodega uses real-life experiences from Pyrrion's

life. All the action and all the adventures that you've lived, Pyrrion. It's like a real... It's like a book written by a war hero or something like that. You think about it, P-Flax is basically Clint Eastwood from the Spaghetti Westerns

in outer space, IRL. I can see where all of that comes from. I just write what I know. So tell me your method. Because I imagine you hunched over a typewriter, an old school typewriter. Because everyone has their dumb methods. Like George R.R. Martin does it on some sort of old computer program. I think he has like an old, like 80s laptop or 90s laptop,

one of those big square black things, it's like a fax machine or something, you know, or a printer, and he flips it up and he types on some 8-bit word processing thing. Maybe he likes the sounds of old keyboards, like maybe that does it for him. I think that is it, like it's an aesthetic, okay, and you get used to it and you get comfortable with it and it lets you get in the zone. So tell me about your writing zone, Pflax. It's just my computer yeah

and i just use what uh what what which word processor do you use flax libre office because it's free and i didn't have word on this computer so it's okay it's a bit funky i thought you were gonna say notepad and you know like google docs exists like that's free too yeah but i don't like the idea of it being just out oh you don't want google to like turn around and be like hey guess what ladies and gentlemen something totally new for google this year that's right same guys that brought you the car that drives itself and the fucking google glasses and stuff we've decided to write fictional novels now and our first one is actually called bodega believe it or not We went into someone's private Google Docs and plagiarized the shit out of it.

Yeah, the Google algorithm recognized it as art. Now listen up, right? Google Docs are very secure. You can put it up there. And also it's a nice backup in case your computer goes kaput. You don't want to lose your stuff. What I do is I just email it to myself. So I've got like an email account. Oh, that's a good idea. You got a paper trail as well. You can timestamp. Good alibi as well.

Yeah, I was at home. Murder somebody or whatever. I don't want to mess up your process, but I'm obviously just interested in how it works. Because for example, I am a terrible person with distractions on my computer. I can't focus on anything before I'm like, Oh, actually, why don't I just load up Netflix? Why don't I just load up Hearthstone?

I can't resist. I'll tell you how. Do you know what I mean? I'm not really enjoying many games at the moment that are like single player. Right. So if I'm playing in the morning. You sound so dejected about that. Well,

I mean, I'm going to, I'm going to level with you. Okay. I've grown weary of a lot of the games that I thought would keep me busy this year and really absorb me. Please don't mention Early Access. I'm not going to start talking about video games. Okay, we're not going to mention Early Access. For example... Please don't bring it down, period. I know. For instance, I mean, I've been playing

a lot of Dota and a lot of CSGO and stuff like that and that's great like i still enjoy those in the evenings multiplayer stuff right and i still stream during the days occasionally so like i did like game dev tycoon and that was fun and stuff but i can't play a lot of the time sync kind of games that people play like hearthstone or world of warcraft and stuff like that yeah i thought civ 6 would eat up a lot more of my time and it just hasn't i i think yeah i think this is partly due to the fact that you your experiences with gaming are much much more positive in the evenings like going playing multiplayer games in the evenings like going to the pub i think it's like the modern version of playing pool or playing board games or whatever you know you're you're there it doesn't matter what you're playing because you've

got your chums yeah and it's not really about the game it's about like hanging out chatting and streaming feels a lot like that too it does feel like a social thing what you're playing because you've got your chums. Yeah. And it's not really about the game. It's about like hanging out, chatting. And streaming feels a lot like that, too. It does feel like a social thing where you're often interacting with people. And you're often putting on a show and you're enjoying yourself. And I think that that elevates those gaming experiences to a slightly higher level than they would otherwise have. And it does make it difficult to play single player games on your own. And it feels quite lonely. Yeah, it does.

And I get the same thing i feel like there maybe this is just a time period but man i i struggled to play um dishonored 2 i didn't really get into it i didn't really follow the single-player experience i mean i didn't really get into it either to be honest like i tried streaming it and playing it and i just it did it just didn't do it for me like the first one did. I don't know why. I just couldn't get into it. I mean, I really want to play Cities Skylines again. Like, I love that game. But I couldn't, like, I'm not the kind of person who can play a game through,

get to a point where I'm happy and I'm done, and then immediately restart. Like, I'm like, okay, that's me burned out on that for like a week or two. So I'll play Cities and I'll be like really into it and I'll have a great time. I'll get distracted by something else. That save is gone. I'm never coming back to it. And I'm not going to just immediately go and start another one. Because still fresh in my mind is all the work I did on the other one.

So I'm sort of like, all right, I'll take a break from that then. Because you know if you have to start again, you have to do all the building the early roads. And you're starting to think, oh, God, I've got to plan how to figure out all my flipping roundabouts now and everything. So like, I know also I'd want to record it because I don't really like now just, I feel like if I play a game and have a really good single player experience doing it, I think, shit, I should have recorded that

because that actually would have been kind of funny. I think people might have liked that. Well, this is something that we experience, isn't it? Definitely. I think when I play a single player game, I'm either thinking, man, how would I, I I think when I play a single player game, I'm either thinking, man, how would I, I always think when I play a single player game,

I'm like, I should test this in case I ever end up recording it or playing it live, you know, in order to see how I can fuck it up, you know, or I'm thinking, oh, maybe I should try out these. Sometimes when I play single player games, I always like, maybe like Anno, for example, I'm going to play around with building layouts

because I think, oh, this will be, this will help me when i end up recording it for this is something that other people don't necessarily experience but certainly it's weird how playing video games as your job is it's totally a dream job and i'm never gonna take that away and look we are the luckiest guys in the universe it's a hell it does it does it's all god it's ruined it's ruined my favorite hobby for me forever now i can't enjoy it the same anymore it's like it's ruined my favorite hobby for me forever now i can't enjoy it the same anymore it's like it's like loving porn and then becoming a porn star and then through your job that would be terrible yeah hating sex and porn as well you'd just be like oh this is the same formulaic bullshit every day yeah oh yeah let me guess now she wants anal. Okay, yeah, I knew that was coming.

How many cum shots do I got? Okay, yeah, fine. Okay, how much am I going to get paid for each one? You start to break it down, you get desensitized, you don't enjoy it anymore. And that's the thing, it's not natural. That's what's happening, Lewis, it's not natural. No, so back to, so it's given you

the opportunity to write some bodega, and how much have you done then this week period like I've done about 10,000 words whoa oh my god so I've done

have you drawn any pictures no no no god no I feel like maybe a couple of MS paints would actually not go amiss yeah man you know what I think you've got to get

some concept art down for this now no I don't want to draw I hate drawing I absolutely hate it oh why you're so good you're so good at it

get your daughter to do. I hate drawing. I absolutely hate it. Oh, why? You're so good. You're so good at it. Get your daughter to do it. She likes drawing. She does. Get the whole family involved. You know what? Getting my kids to draw something that I've asked them to draw. Like my daughter says to me sometimes, Daddy, what shall I draw? It has to be their idea.

Yeah. And I'll say, well, how about this? And she'll say, actually, I think I'll draw an octopus. I'll be like, why'd you ask me? i know just draw the octopus basically just one that's the classic thing of trying to give the classic way to get someone to do something is to make them think it was their own idea right right that's the classic psychological thing so you have to like if you want her to draw a crocodile you have to leave crocodiles around the house or mention crocodiles like oh what do you know i saw a thing about a crocodile eating a person today and that she'll

squirrel that away i'm trying to use trying to get you to use psychology on your six-year-old it's like that derren brown did you see the derren brown um where he basically organized like a charity dinner and the guy who was running the dinner like it's all staged okay so everybody there is is an actor apart from um this one guy the one guy who's been brought in to sort of help out with the uh with the thing and the charity dinner is basically there's like a hundred really really important people there they're all raising money for charity and the guy who's giving the speech, like the main guy has a heart attack and dies. And the,

the, the organizer of the events is just put him in, put him in this box. And they basically put the guy in this box, uh, and sort of hide him. Uh, and it's,

it's like this whole farcical kind of story, but it's, it's taken very seriously. And for the poor guy caught up and it feels very real and like oh my god what do we do sort of thing yeah and basically he's like a temp is he working in the kitchen or something he's like something to do with he made complicit in this yes he is like the guy basically gets him to be a part of this what is essentially a crime concealing this body and then it spirals and gets worse and worse he has to give a speech yeah um he he has to pretend to be this guy and everything it's it's unbelievable right it's a

popular theme though right because that movie that michael douglas was in the game was kind of like that too right like it was it's like everyone's in on it except for him and then you get to the end of the movie and you're like fuck this movie movie. Like, what the hell? The whole time? It's like worse than it was all a dream, like at the end of the movie. But worse than that is that the entire time Darren Brown has been planting, like Lewis was saying about planting suggestions. He's been planting ideas in the guy's head about pushing someone. And it ends with this finale where he wants to get the guy that like everybody decides to push this guy off the top of this building um and that will solve all the problems like it's

it's too complicated and lengthy to go into but it's a very funny uh uh sort of show and so the whole point was to try and get this guy to shove this guy using suggestion go on push him push him push him off and he would then push the guy off the top of the building. But the funny thing was that they filmed it with a whole bunch of different people. Like it must've taken weeks to do. And some of them actually did it and some of them didn't and everything.

And this one guy was like the best, most consistent performer, if you like, had no idea what was going on, completely bought into it. And I think at the end, he said, I can't do it. You guys are crazy. And Darren Brown comes out and it's like, don't worry. We were trying to suggest it to you and you didn't. So it was brilliant. It was absolutely brilliant. I think it was called Darren Brown's push or something like that.

Of course. It couldn't be called anything else. It has to be called Darren Brown something. Something. Darren Brown something. But it was really really good but the thing with the suggestion was that it was kind of it seemed like it was so obvious but of course we know what's being suggested and if you think about it the stuff you witness all day long you wouldn't really be able to decide wait a minute how come this is suddenly here it's like well you you know you watch tv you watch you know you're walking down the street you don't even really notice what you're taking i'm barely aware of anything that's going on me too i'm so fucking out of it man like seriously a heinous crime could be committed right next to me and i wouldn't even notice

walking by like i gotta pick up my kids that's why witnesses uh witnesses are so fucking terrible when it comes to solving crimes like the police always say witnesses uh like they give them a lead but if you're relying on a witness in court think how many court cases the witness is like yeah i saw him he was uh wearing a red jacket and uh he ran up and he shot the guy through the window of the blue car and they're like well the victim was not in a blue car he was in a white car oh yeah no it was white yeah right and the guy wasn't wearing a jacket he was completely naked yeah naked that's what i meant yeah he was naked yeah i remember it now he was naked and he ran up to the white car and he shot the guy he didn't shoot him he used a fishing spear yeah spear that's right it's all coming back to me it's just like the witnesses of the fucking world that's like a that's that's a legit sort of interrogation method for police, especially police in cities where it's really stats driven, you know, push them into jail,

get them prosecuted, so that they could literally just start closing off cases and numbers and moving on to the next one. Well, it's like 50-50, isn't it? It's like half of it is the witnesses are fucking useless, not paying attention, and half of it is the cops telling them. But it's really easy to change people's memory, because once you've told people, oh, you know, it was a white car.

He was naked. It was a fishing spear. That's how they remember it from then on. And that's why, you know, you get these conflicting witness statements. Yeah, yeah. Well, you can wear them down too. Like if they're in the box for a long time

and they're getting tired and thirsty and hungry and stuff, you kind of, it is, it's like mild. But it's like torture, isn't it? You know, people will say anything torture torture is never that never works to get information because people will say anything that people say anything you want them to say very quickly um which works if like you can hold them to account and that's that's the that's the thing but if you if you genuinely genuinely want some information from them yeah you're right you're never going to get through

torture you gotta bribe them a bit you know maybe bring in their favorite cupcakes or like If you genuinely want some information from them, yeah, you're right. You're never going to get it through torture. You got to bribe them a bit, you know, maybe bring in their favorite cupcakes or like, you know, get them a big gulp or pretend them to be. Get them a big gulp for the hamburger. Hey, how you doing, buddy? Got your favorite plate of big gulp? I know you like soda. I know you love it. So I got you the biggest one I can find. That's right.

Mammoth gulp. Jeez. It's going to take you all day to drink this fucker. it! So I got you the biggest one I can find, that's right! Mammoth gulp! Jeez, it's gonna take your whole day to drink this fucker! Interrogation is, I mean, I think it's really interesting because it's been on TV so much, like, you know, people being interrogated, all the various interrogation tropes. It's such a cliche. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good cop, bad cop, and all that. But you wonder how many people go in there, and because they've watched Law and Order enough, they go, oh, I want to see me lawyer straight away.

Don't give me that good cop, bad cop bollocks, because I'm not going to buy it. I saw all of Series 7 of Law & Order. I know all the tricks in the book, bitch. You're going to come in and say, oh, it can be your friend, and then he's going to slap his hands on the table and go, give it up, you bum, and I'm not going to do it. I think that's a product of the fact that we love the crime shows.

We love that mystery. We love the murder mystery. It's such an easy sort of thing. It's the whodunit. It's just such a huge, huge, huge amount of television is circled around murder and that. And as a result, we end up with a lot of interviews which are usually pretty shitty boring bits of tv shows actually yeah i guess some of them can be intense though like the amount of fights i've seen in those fucking rooms though like oh my god it's oh it's yeah you get desensitized

to tv fights but i'll tell you what why i'm and i'll never forget it okay the time that carl kennedy got caught cheating on his wife susan and neighbors okay this was like i think there was some shit going on in the background of the show or something like that but when susan slapped his face it was for real like you could feel it like i recoiled whilst watching the show neighbors i couldn't believe it it was it was huge like i was like whoa like they're good actors wow like that was holy shit it was crazy it was really good but since then like i think it's ruined it for me now tv slaps like i haven't seen a slap as good as that since and do you want to know do you want to know i i was in a police lineup one time. Wow. Like this is when I was at university in Plymouth. This is funny because this is how crime and the police actually work, right?

Like this is my little vision inside what it's like to be a known criminal in Plymouth at this time. So it was about 1996 and you got 20 quid from the police. You just had to turn up. They gave you 20 quid at the end of the lineup. You just had to stand there in the lineup. So me and my mates went down there. We're shitting our pants because we were going to be within proximity of an actual criminal. And there's all these lads there.

We all looked completely different, right? Like we're all like just the most different bunch of people you could imagine. Right. And it was like a large room with a big, like the one-way mirror at one end. And we're all standing there. There's like cameras watching us and there's microphones in there. And there's a couple of these big burly, you know, these guys would never have been anything but police officers. They've got the build, like the big gut, the skinny legs, the mustache.

So like the archetypal British Bobby, like they're just, that's it. They were born police officers. They're never going to be anything else. And they were like, don't worry, boys. All right. He's a just, that's it. They were born police officers. They're never going to be anything else. And they were like, don't worry boys. All right. He's a bit of a bad egg. This one we're bringing in today, but we're here to look after you.

Don't worry. We were like shitting ourselves because we're thinking they're mocking us already. Like the police are making fun of us. How bad is this guy going to be? And in comes a criminal and he's this young lad, real Janna, right?

Which is like, he's a real chavvy sort of Plymouth guy. And he comes in and he's like, I don't even know where you fucking got me in here. I ain't done nothing. I know this is a load of bollocks. This is bollocks. He said, none of this don't even look like me.

Look at that. They're all a foot taller. And it was true. We were all like a foot taller than this guy. You're like six foot two, aren't you? No, I'm six foot. Like my mate's six foot. My other mate is about five nine,

but he was still towering over this this little lad this weasel that they dragged in yeah but they stood they stood him in the middle the crime that he'd apparently committed was that he had sort of got in a fight with some guy um and like in a shop and he caused a lot of trouble and they were basically trying to bust him for this so he's standing there and the police officers, like you can hear the speaker from the other room because they have to tell the criminal what's going on. So they say the witness is now entering the viewing booth. They have to do that thing where they're like,

face left and everybody. Turn to the left, turn to the right. So we're all standing there. But then the bad guy's so dumb, he turns the other way and they're like, gotcha. No, he was just like, he was, he was knobbing about already. Like he was sort of, he was furious because he obviously realized that it was a fit, a fit up.

Right. Because he, I mean, they didn't pick anyone that looked anything like him. So we all turned to the left, we all turned to the right, we're standing there. And then you can hear the witness say, it's number four. And then he goes, that is Steve from the video shop. Steve, I recognize your voice, Steve. That is you talking on the other side of that glass. Steve, you are a dead man.

You are a dead man, Steve? That is you talking on the other side of that glass. Steve, you are a dead man. You are a dead man, Steve. And then the police officer says, the witness has changed his mind about which number he's identified. And then you can hear this muffled conversation going on on the other side of

the one-way glass. And then the cop is obviously saying, look, grow a pair of balls and ID this guy please, and we lock him up and you wanted to see him for a few months and just you know don't be such a pussy don't be a p55y so eventually the cop goes the witness has now retracted his retraction and has a number four as the suspect and at this point the guy goes nuts and he runs up and he punches the one-way glass and he starts spitting and he's grabbing like the cameras and he's trying to twist it off and we're all soiling ourselves in terror because we're all students like everyone in there is a student just

after 20 quid to go out that night and the coppers just grab this guy and haul him off and everyone just sort of goes ah like phew thank. But we were on the way back home. We were saying, what if he like clocked all our faces? He'd be like, you're all dead. You're all dead, man. All of you in this room. Yeah, I recognize your face. I'm going to kill you.

But he didn't. He just held him up. But it was so funny. That is Steve from the video shop. That is Steve. I recognize that boy, Steve. You are a dead man. That was, oh my God.

It brings up a valid point though like and i was just gonna ask you about this before what did you do to prepare for the lineup because like if i was asked to a lineup man i would dress up like i would i would fucking change my identity completely and like but i would try to game it because first of all there's no way i'm getting accidentally fucking picked from a lineup okay like. Like, I'm candidate number five. And they're like, it's five for sure. No, it fucking isn't. Okay.

Like, I'm not. But if they pick you from the lineup, it doesn't mean they think you did it. I know, but if they pick you, it means that they're wrong. Yeah. It's not like you're not chancing it. The police don't suddenly go, really? Well, what a stroke of luck. I'm too sensitive for prison.'m i'm not chancing it and also like you just said i don't want that fucking crazy guy to clock me like outside like

after he's done his his time and he's he's out he's like you're that fucking guy from the lineup aren't you and then he just you know fucking shanks me in broad daylight on you know but why would they just shake anyone it's so they're gonna shake the police officers and the check-in lady and the guys these guys are animals the guy that brings you like you heard what flax said he was attacking one-way glass you're just one of 50 when was the last time you saw somebody attack one-way glass lewis i don't remember you would shit in your pants you would you would totally shit your pants this is a this is a great story period holy shit and weirdly weirdly coincidental because I was talking to Ben yesterday oh yeah Ben is um he's also going to appear in a lineup he's actually been charged as

well he's um he used to do this like quite, apparently. And the reason is because he just looks like an ordinary kind of generic man. Okay. He doesn't have any... I don't think he particularly looked unusual. I don't know. I don't want to say boring. Man, he looks like Cain Dingle from Emmerdale. He does.

Look up your neighbors and fucking 1990s neighbors and Eman dill references do a google image search right now of kane dingle okay and tell me that doesn't look like fucking ben it does look like carbon copy a generic nice looking man it really does i told fucking told you anyway he got apparently he got invited back to lineups quite regularly. He did it like, you know, a lot. Because it's embedded in our psyche now. We've seen Cain Dingle getting up to no good time and time again on Emmerdale.

And he just looks, and now I think Ben, unfortunately, is almost like typecast. Everybody thinks he looks like a criminal in this society. What can you do? How many lineups do you think he's in where the bloke goes i think it was cane dingle actually i think yeah exactly like cane dingle that mother you're rumbled you fucking dingle in dingle oh so so um but the thing is i

was going to say as well is further to that if you were gonna dress up to try and game the lineup which way would you go would you go for like the fucking gap pastels try to look like really clean cut and shit so that there's no way you could commit a crime or no no they tell you would you go the other way like would you fucking get some like fake swastika tattoos on your forehead and stuff like that and just really try to scare the shit out of everybody just really go loud arseless chaps that's what i'd wear arseless chaps just turn up totally naked yeah whatever fucking you know what charge me i'm done i think it's probably a good idea though to bring in people like you period who were a little bit nervous because then you're all looking a bit shifty and nervous in that room right if you go into a lineup and one

guy's looking a lot more shifty and nervous than the others you're gonna think it's him yeah whereas obviously you guys were all fucking shifty and nervous and so you know they could no way like pick out but he just he looked like a real piece of shit like we did he really looked like a piece of shit did he have like uh did he have a track suit on with a gold chain and a peach fuzz mustache? That's exactly, like that image you have, that is that guy. Yeah, I know, I know. But I can't remember what he was wearing. It was like 20 years ago.

But I do remember thinking, what a piece of shit this guy is. He looked like the kind of guy that would be like, you know, not a day goes by where he's not smashing someone's window. Yeah, lots of acne scars and stuff. Yeah, that kind of guy just robbing do you reckon like it could be though

that he's finding his slowly finding his way to get his revenge on you though and he's like integrated himself into your life somehow maybe he's like Shane

or someone that you know really closely and he's like changed his you know he's lost all of his hair and sort of slowly but why me? to get revenge

on you for the line up what revenge on me for what? I just appeared in a police line-up. Maybe the other four guys in the line-up were already dead. No, because two of them were my mates. Is this like that episode of The Simpsons where... Are they dead? Have you spoken to them lately?

Yes, I have. Is this like Kill Bill? It's just slowly going through. You're on a list. Guys, I'm alone in the house. Can we chill? I'm alone in the house, all right? I know what you did last summer, Flex. No, you don't. I'm coming to get you, Can we chill? I'm alone in the house, all right? I know you did last summer, Flex.

No, you don't. I'm coming to get you, bitch. What did I do last summer? I can't actually remember. Did you go for like a car trip or something? I don't know. Probably. It doesn't change anything.

I'm coming to get you. I have to check my calendar. I'm going to slay your ass. We can't even remember what we did last summer. I don't care what you did last summer. It should be the name of the movie. I don't care what you did last summer. You're dead anyway. I'm coming to what you did last summer should be the name of the movie. I don't care what you did last summer. You're dead anyway.

I'm coming to get you, bitch. Hey, listen, I want to come back to what Flax was down about at the start of the podcast about gaming. Okay. I feel you. I've been there many times. And it sounds like, you know, me and you, we have the same sort of habits in gaming as well.

Like I pick something up, I binge on it for a bit. You know what? Sometimes I don't even finish it and I put it down and I move on to the next thing. And I'm happy with that. Sometimes something will just really take my interest, depending on if I have a week where I can just really fucking play it every day for a couple hours or whatever. I can get into the groove with it. Sometimes I put it down and stuff.

But one thing I've started doing recently, like not recently, but like for a while is I have games that I'll play like on stream or for YouTube or whatever during the day where I have like more time. And I play those. And then I have like nighttime games that I play as well, like separate games that I know, like I'm not really going to stream or do anything on YouTube around them or whatever, but I just enjoy them and I can play them at night or whatever. So like I've been playing Diablo because I enjoy it like from time to time. I come back for a new season,

I play it, I get into it. Wow. And I just like keep it separate. You know, I keep those worlds apart. I think one of the things that sort of almost ruins gaming for you, playing video games as a job, if that's possible,

is that you don't have what you used to have. Remember like when you used to have remember like when you used to work at an office or whatever and you were away from your house all day and like you'd just be like fuck i can't wait to get home sit around my undies and play wow or something or whatever you know what i mean but you've had a full day of not doing that so you're like yeah that's i'm really looking forward to this this is going to be great like it's just going to be so chill i'm going to fucking relax and just play this thing that i've been looking forward to playing all day you know you might have gone to the bathroom a couple of times to take some fake dumps and just like read about like

you know tier five you know shaming gears or whatever like that yeah you're right just to really get yourself excited you know and you're like you know that's the way i'm going to go home i'm going to play that like and that's that's it but the thing is when you play games all day for a living, you don't have that anymore. So you have to have some separation. You have to have night games and day games. You have to fake it.

But the way I sort of fake it is I do, like, you know, for example, we only play certain games with the four of us or the six of us, you know. And so therefore, you know, we can't play them all the time because you need them you need the people to do it so you are saying oh I'd really love

to play this but I can't until these guys get in until we've got time until this guy finishes this thing so it does

artificially put stuff off and that can help it's like if a game comes out that I'm really excited to play with you Sips and then like you're also really excited

like we both have this problem of holding off on it until we meet up to do it you know i mean and it's like oh yeah lewis i already played that and i'm like oh god you know oh i've told that to you as well it's like no you just can't sometimes you can't resist i think life is a series of addictions and gaming is a series of little addictions too it's like you're you're really into this thing and you're passionate about it and it's like i can't wait to do it you do it at the cost of everything and then but the next thing comes along and you're really on the flip side of

that what i'm finding now is that sometimes i'm getting into games and i'm streaming them like during the day but i don't play them at night so i'm like oh fuck i can't wait to stream tomorrow so i can play this game i'm really into so actually i'm having it on both sides now like sometimes in the day i'm like no i can't wait to just chill out and play some diablo tonight and then at night i'll be like oh fuck i can't wait to just chill out and play some Diablo tonight. And then at night I'll be like, oh fuck, I can't wait to wake up tomorrow and stream some more fucking

Stardew Valley or whatever. So it's like, it's nice. It's working out good. Like I'm actually pretty amped for gaming. Yeah. Whereas like before

when it was all a mess and I was just playing the same thing day and night and stuff, I wasn't so much. I was just getting into a bit of a rut with it because I was like,

oh fuck, you know, there's like no variety and stuff but now it's like it's pretty cool so yeah it's a good point i don't know i played some hearts of iron for it last night oh uh we did a multiplayer game oh thanks thanks for the invite players dude i'm sorry oh 15 how much how bad was the lag it was fine how did how did you get into it? We got to 1940 and the war was over. Shit. Wow, so you got barely... So the lag wasn't fine if you only got to 1940.

Holy shit. Was somebody just like really fucking good at the game and they just trounced everybody? No, no, no. I'll give you a quick summary. Okay. So there was... I didn't set up the game.

My friend Monticus set it up. So it wasn't like I... I wasn't inviting people. It was just open. And we needed to get it started we got it started about 8 o'clock and we were done

by about 20 past 11 but it was around 3 speed, 4 speed most of the time and I mean it was a great it was a great game like 15 players

and we had all kinds of rules in place like you can't flip from one side to the other because the previous time we did it the UK went fascist instantly and joined the Axies, which is obviously bullshit.

It was just kind of stupid. There were some issues with balance there. This time it was different. We had Japan in the game, for instance. We had Iran, someone played as Brazil, Mexico, France, Soviet Union, Germany, obviously, Greece. I really want to play it now. Oh, yeah. Next time we do it, I will, of course, bear you guys in mind.

But I haven't seen Lulu playing games in the evening. And I honestly thought Sips would probably be streaming. But next time we're doing one, I'll give you guys a heads up. But it was great fun. I was Italy. And I decided, because Nationalist Spain was a player, and we finished, we won the Civil War in like a couple of weeks, because me and Germany sent tanks.

Montekus was Germany. So we sent some tanks. He only built, I think, two or three units of tanks in the whole war. He just used all land. Just dudes. Right. That's Germany. Yeah.

So he constantly stacked 20 to 25, sometimes 30 units in a province because his management was awful. But because it was so early in the war, France had nothing, Britain had nothing, and the Americans only had their... They joined the Allies very quickly because they were still in the Great Depression. They had no ability to build anything.

No. And France was just building land forts on every border. So they were putting land forts on the border with Italy, the border with Spain. So all their resources were going into building forts and just trying to hold the line. So the war begins. Nationalist Spain quickly joins. I'm in there. And I decided to dedicate much of my time to taking over Africa. So I'm fighting the Brits and the French in Africa and we're kicking their ass there. Germany takes out Poland in like a week, doesn't do the Molotov-Ribbentrop with the Soviets,

because it was still like 1937 at this point. The Soviets didn't have an army that they could attack with. It was just kind of shitty. The French didn't have any army, but the Americans and the Brits landed all their troops in France. We quickly took France, and we must have killed about 40 or 50 units. They couldn't get them out. The English guy was like, I should get my troops out of here

guys. And his allies were like, no, you coward, you must stay and fight. And of course they all died because once you get them surrounded, they just disappear. Took France. They had nothing. So the allies did nothing for the next two years. It was just Germany versus the Soviet Union and me having the slog that is fighting in Africa and the Japanese fighting the Chinese. So it was just this sort of grind. Such a typical parts of Iron Gate. Yeah, it really was.

So basically all that happened was Germany took France. That's really all you're saying. And then it was held off in Russia and America did nothing as usual. And then no one else in the world did anything. Because Brazil, they don't do anything. Iran, who cares? Mexico, pointless. Japan, sure, they're probably fucking around in china forever but it's so tedious playing japan like

what are you supposed to do take indonesia and australia it's so late it takes fucking ages aids i want to play hearts of iron four in in um like the game of thrones universe though like you know i want to have like all like the families and the units but the same mechanics and stuff that's such a good idea well that's that's the crusader kings kind of i know but i want the i want it to do it with like the current hearts of iron like four engine and and and everything you know what i mean like i want that there'll be a mod there'll be a mod i would love that man that would be so fucking fun obviously they wouldn't have airplanes but i guess you'd have dragons no no you wouldn't even need them.

Just take them out. It'd be fine. You can get ships. Ships would be fine because you've got like, you know, fucking what's it called? Pentos and all those places across the sea. You could have like the big horse legions and stuff. The Kallisar guys. You could have like Westeros andos and everything fuck it'd be so cool

yeah oh my god i've just found it i've just googled it uh is somebody working on one yeah well someone's working on one vaguely it was apparently so there's there's a gallery here westeros 1936 it's cool it's like back in the day the dream was that like and this is back before like the internet was was big and stuff doom you could mod doom and the dream was that like and this is back before like the internet was was big and stuff we doom you could mod doom and the dream was that like somebody would mod doom and replace all like the sprites with like star wars people so you could you know you could play but then dark forces came out and it was like uh don't need to mod doom now oh man yeah dark forces i love that yeah yeah that was the first game i remember that had that really famous yelling um thing you know like when you if you fell in a hole it did

that and then they just use that sound like everywhere they have reused that a whole lot yeah they're like yeah dark forces is the first time i remember it being used it was sorry i was just i was just looking at this world map i guess i i love maps okay i i love that there's a there's a reddit called r slash map dude update your tinder with that like you could find like-minded chicks out there who also love maps i have been using tinder actually it is something we can talk about. Oh, fuck. Okay, well, put love maps. I'll add that to my profile. I love maps. That should just be my only line.

And take a picture of yourself holding a crusty old map as well. Yeah. I do. I do love maps. Make your profile called MapDude69. And then they'll be like, oh, shit. You know what? I find maps really sexy.

If only there was a guy on Tinder that, wait a second, I found him. Map dude. Here he is. Oh, you know what that scream is called? It's called the Howie scream. The Howie scream. The Howie scream, if you Google H-O-W-I-E. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They used it in everything. I think they used it in subsequent... I think they used it for the sound of the TIE Fighter. What? Well, they just modified it a little bit. Yeah. It's a frequently used film, television, video game stock sound effect for a scream,

often compared to the Wilhelm scream. I mean, if you listen to it, it sounds exactly like a TIE Fighter. It's the long... but a lot of the time they make sound effects in that sense they just elongate them or pitch shift them

you know a good sound I see what you mean by that sound because it's long it is long it's a long scream also known as

screams three man gut wrenching scream and fall into distance it is a horrible scream it is a horrible scream you a whole it is when you did not want to fall in a hole in dark forces no you hear that you know what what annoys me a lot about movies i i hate the fact that the wilhelm scream is put into movies it takes you right out of that moment because i was watching um two towers the other day you know lord of the rings

two towers and there's a moment where an elf falls off the ramparts and it's the wilhelm scream like really loud really obvious and it's just like all right i get it it's like this stupid in joke that you have in the movie industry but it's it takes you completely out of the moment because you're like oh fucking wilhelm scream again it's like that same noise they have if you open a squeaky door it's like the stock sound effect for a squeaky door being opened like that it's like the same every time everybody uses it get a fucking grip there's gotta be a series of like youtube videos where that there is like inappropriate uses of that where you know they just like put it over top of a scene or whatever like there used to be a series i remember it was a something awful thing

it was like inappropriate movie soundtracks so they take like a scene from a movie and they just put like music that didn't fit but fuck it was so funny like yeah yeah there's some of them were really good i think they were all taken down because like copyright or whatever but um you know what let me tell you it's talking about something completely different because i've just remembered it someone started a change.org petition to get me to unban them from shit yeah this happened yesterday on my screen who did you ban robin i i don't know when i banned them but apparently robbie m13 i banned him from twitch i don't know why i banned him i i can't even

remember when i banned him because he called you a shit a shithead that's also yeah apparently he called me a shithead well what were you doing to deserve that though because like everything happens for a reason right like well i mean if he called me a shithead then fuck this guy why am i gonna unban exactly call people shitheads that's not cool and you can have your fucking 65 supporters on change.org i don't give a fuck wow well we were talking if someone wants to unban him that's on them but all i'm saying is you want me to unban you i'm not gonna do it so what mod could unban him That's on them But all I'm saying is If you want me to unban you I'm not going to do it So a mod could unban him

On your stream If someone has a decent reason For unbanning him Or decides to unban the guy Jeez I'm not going to You know Get up in a state But how many people

Can unban him It's the Yogscast chat Yeah Not my chat How many mods Oh I see he banned you In the Yogscast chat Yeah I banned him

In the Yogscast chat Oh you banned him I'm not sure you're allowed To ban the Yogscast chat. Yeah, I banned him in the Yogscast chat. Oh, you banned him. I'm not sure you're allowed to ban the Yogscast chat, guys. I'm a mugged. I have the little sword. It's dangerous in there now. Lewis is going to be sleuthing around now. He's going to be looking through the logs, Piri,

and he's going to unmod you and everything. Yeah, find out when it was. It must have been when I was up there for Christmas, I guess, or maybe when I was tuning into the Yogscast feed. No, it was like this week, wasn't it? It was such a casual banning. I don't recall it. Oh, wait, Matt. I think I remember, yeah, I guess, or maybe when I was tuning into the old discussion. No, it was like this week, wasn't it? It was such a casual banning. I don't recall it. Oh, wait, man. I think I remember, yeah, he said, hey, Perrion, you

shithead, and I banned him. I think I did. It was quite early on. And I remember saying to Barry, I just banned the guy. He was like, nice. And I was like... What? So you banned him for just saying, hey, Perrion, you shithead. It was something like that. It was rude. There's a lot that's lost in translation on twitch okay like when people turn up in the chat room

they think you know like hey we're all friends here let's have a bit of banter let's call each other cunts and then you're like whoa hang on a second i'm not a cunt i think you said period you're a shithead i think that was what he said or something like some something about the word shithead was used in relation to me yeah i don't don't know Robbie M13. I've never met the guy. I've never spoken to him, conversed with him. Don't call me a shithead. How do you know that? That wasn't one of your fucking friends that was in the lineup! I don't know any Robbies! He was in the lineup. No, nobody named Robbie M. Oh, we don't anymore.

Well that's- Not now! Yeah, because guess what? But after you call me a shithead, we never will be friends. That guy that you guys stitched up he found robbie m oh do you think and guess where they found robbie m in a fucking in a fucking garbage bag on the side of the road in a dumpster chopped up chopped up oh man yeah that's that's what happens well when you're sadly he's still banned that's disrespectful man the guy's dead and you can't even unban him from Twitch chat? I feel like he's obviously...

People must get banned all the time. I get a lot of messages from people. I do ban a lot of people. Are you guys banners? Do you guys ban a lot of people? I have never banned a single person in my life. I've never banned anyone, no. But I would like to

and I will start doing it from now on do it no do it take a leaf out of my book i feel like the people who justifiably need to be banned are those assholes that don't send you a polite message apologizing afterwards so often right yeah you know that the people who often if they said you were really dumb message afterwards you could it's barely legible just even more stuff that is band-worthy then you're like yeah okay that was definitely i mean why just why why don't you just tell them to fuck off like you're on a stream people are watching you uh you've got their attention like why don't you just say hey you know this guy fuck you no no no i think i think maybe it's just probation though for the people who who are like just doing that like if you're

gonna like do star wars spoilers that's a big ban right or like you know if you're the people who are just doing that. If you're going to do Star Wars spoilers, that's a big ban. Or if you're the guy who spams spoilers for stuff in chat or malware or whatever, that's a ban, definitely. Forever. Perma. Death. But if it's just an actual fan,

like a sub, who talks to you every day and you're banning for just calling out your shit, that's kind of a bit over the top we mess around with bans and stuff but we do get people just being dicks

so it's a twitch chat so you know you get people who turn up they've not been on the stream before and they just turn up and they're just

kind of arseholes but this is what the mods are for right it shouldn't get back to the top it shouldn't get back to us that's why like

we've got all the mods helping out they should be handling this yeah yeah they should it shouldn't have come to this change.org

it shouldn't have come to us discussing it on the podcast I never have problems with with bans or banning people or whatever but one thing i do get a lot of when i stream is people um people like trying to become mod or like you know they think they're running to be mod so they do like a campaign they think it's like an election process or something yeah they're like campaigning actively to become mod like all the time people love it and i get a lot of people doing that uh who would ask to be a mod in your chat sips honestly i can't imagine

no dude i i asked to be a mod in your chat it was a reference to that do you remember yesterday when you were streaming and i steam messaged you and said, add me as a mod or I'm leaving. Fuck me. That was like a really sassy message. I couldn't believe it. I totally missed it. People were shitting me. They were calling me plebs in your chat because I didn't have a sword.

You've got to have a sword. Yeah, you do have to have a sword. Why don't you just sub up? Dude, I'm not, I don't sub to anybody. I don't, you know. You could have subbed up, Flax. What about Twitch Prime? Oh, actually I do have Amazon. It's not going to kill you to donate once in a while flax oh come on contribute come on i got text to

speech it's hilarious you can say like you can make the woman do the sprinkler sound or something i saw your chat it's all in german i thought it was funny the german the german woman has some some really odd ways of pronouncing things. It's pretty funny. She does. Oh, that's great. Holy shit. Well, that was a real just long... I mean, people might not realise the way we record this podcast, but it's just kind of a stream of consciousness that bounces from topic to

topic without stop. That was just like 50 minutes of non-stop conversation. I got more. Just quickly, I would like to draw attention to some documentaries i've watched recently because they're really good oh my god okay i know you guys don't like documentaries no i love them i love them you think you're above them or whatever yeah no just tell me you want to check out a good documentary i watched documentary on

netflix called 13th which is um it's a documentary about slavery in the US and the sort of evolution of slavery in the US and how it ties into the sort of prison incarceration culture that exists in the US. It's good. It's good. There's some shit in that documentary that is just crazy. Like that Alec thing with the, the, the lobbying group that actually designs legislation and just hands it off to Republicans and says like, here you go. Like we've done it all for you. Just sign it and push it through. Yeah.

And it's, it's all like to serve these big corporations and stuff. And like, oh, it's fucking crazy. All this shit that goes on. But the, the idea is that like slavery was never

properly abolished like uh throughout the years like there's always been systems or ways for like slavery to come back and it's because in the 13th amendment it says that like no man shall ever be a slave again except for if they're uh if it's like a punishment for crime sort of thing yeah so if they're yeah so if they're criminal and criminal in their jail or whatever they can be used for like slave labor and stuff and that was a big thing in the u.s it happened for years and years and years and now it's like 25 percent of of the prison population of the world is in the u.s and it's it's a country that has like 400 million people in it it's insane like it's big business too like yeah yeah and there's a lot of incentive to keep people in jail to keep the jails packed because so much money is being made off of it it's fucking crazy i think regardless like this is the scary thing i think about uh i don't want

to get into a political thing because we've done that before and it's it tends to be pretty boring but i just i just i would like people of every political persuasion to just look at some of the stuff that's happening when it comes to things like prisons and privatisation of the prisons and stuff. And you have to see how if the tables were turned and people were getting nicked for being right-wing instead of being for something that perhaps you do now that you see as OK, and maybe the people that are going to prison are doing something that you don't see as OK, if the tables were turned, you would now that you see is okay and maybe the people that are going to prison are doing something that you don't see is okay if the tables were turned you would see how

unfair it is just because you're not affected doesn't make it unfair i think that's why yeah you have to be able to look at it dispassionately and logically and say how can you privatize prisons because the incentive then becomes easily corruptible we need to lock more people up hey judge you're a friend of mine yeah you're my brother-in-law. You run a prison. I'll send you some more criminals and I'll hand down some stiff sentences. That is an obvious piece of corruption that will inevitably happen. And it's not okay. It doesn't matter whether you agree with what people looked up for, whether you think they're bad people. You've got to accept the rule of law and decency. And that's, you know, it's a terrible thing.

There's a great documentary, wasn't there, about the cash for kids scandal? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I keep meaning to watch that. where the judges accepted bribes for giving sentences to kids and sending them to prison, effectively.

And it was a real horrible system. There's a lot of these things that go on that are very dodgy. I mean, the classic thing I think about the prison system, though, is that it's one of these things that are very dodgy. I mean, the classic thing I think about the prison system, though, is that it's one of these things that's outside acceptable debate. The classic Noam Chomsky quote is,

the smart way to keep people passive and obedient is to strictly limit the spectrum of acceptable opinion, but allow very lively debate within that spectrum. So, you know, we don't, you know, you look, I listen to the news quiz, right, every week on BBC Radio 4, and it's so political, obviously, because that's all the news is. It's just half an hour of politics jokes, and it's great, and I love it. I found myself getting very worn down by politics,

especially with Trump, and very, very frustrated with it, and almost to the point where I've started to, like on Reddit, I block certain things, right? I block the League of Legends subreddit. I block the Overwatch subreddit. Because when I go to Reddit on the front page, I'm sick of seeing stuff to do with games that I don't play, references that I don't get.

But I've also started to, basically I've started to block, I blocked obviously the Donald, I block a bunch of subreddits. Maybe I'm making my own echo chamber here, where I don't have to see the things that I'm not interested in. But a lot of people quit social media and quit the internet. And it's a good thing, I think, to take two weeks off social media and see if you can do it and see what that's like. And I think it's good for you. But, yeah, so I guess I feel like people don't address things like the prison system. You know, it's never a topic of debate, is it?

We know it's really shitty. Well, they're trying to move on from it now. And the big thing is that, you know, all of a sudden it's getting a lot of attention and it looks bad. And it's like, fuck all these people are prisoners or whatever. And they think that the next move is going to be to incarcerate people in their homes. Like, you know, like tag them with like GPS monitors and shit like that. I would be fine. Like, I'd never leave the house anyway.

Yeah, I know. But like, I don't know. I think it's, they're basically saying they always have to have this many prisoners or more in their country. It's like, why are there so many people? You know what I mean? I think a lot of it comes from drugs, isn't it? And things like giving people sentences,

like the war on drugs has been something which gave, which increased the prison population. Yeah, and there's another really good documentary on that called The House I Live In. And it's narrated and I think made by the guy who wrote The Wire and The Corner. David Simon. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. And it's another one that's really worth watching if you're interested in this kind of stuff but i mean basically it's saying that like the way that legislation was pushed through during like the war on drugs which which is still going on you know like there's this it's a massive problem in the u.s but the way that they criminalize people you know they're picking up people on possession charges. And, you know, with the three strike rule and everything, there's people who are literally serving life sentences

for having a personal amount of like meth on them or something like that. You know, not with the intent to distribute. They're not, you know, leaders of a cartel or an organization or whatever. These are people with problems. Like they become addicted to a drug they probably need some sort of medical treatment they're victims often that's the thing yeah but

but they're serving life sentences these are just like for the most part normal people with no criminal records you know no history of violence nothing like they're usually good people and they have to serve these really um sort of um draconian extended sentences but they're you know they're they're really exaggerated and the problem is is they're removed from society and they're removed from their families and stuff and the and the knock-on effects of this are huge you know there's people out there without fathers because of this there's people out there without brothers available you know what i mean like and it and the whole thing just keeps feeding itself and becomes worse and worse of a problem.

It's just crazy. Like, it's fucking crazy. But it's much easier. I think a lot of the problems that we see in society are because most people want a quick solution. Something needs to be done. It needs to be done now. And politicians are not going to say,

here's our 20-year plan, because people will say, well, if you don't win the next five elections... Because they're not around for 20 years. And this is the thing. And like the war on drugs is like a really perfect example. The whole war on drugs, like started with Nixon. Nixon sort of coined the term and then, you know, Reagan picked it up and then Bush picked it up and, you know, everybody picked it up, but it was designed initially and it came out after the fact. It wasn't that big of a problem during Nixon's time. They made it into a problem because it was really good for their approval ratings.

And he won the election off of it. I think it's also quite, it was quite a racist policy in a sense, because it did unfavorably kind of criminalize a lot of blacks and black communities well that's it yeah that was another big thing as well like um because there's a lot of like big social movements at the time the black panthers they were scared of and stuff so it sort of worked in it out in a roundabout way that it was like oh hang on you know here's like some stuff that we can just get these people on and just lock them up for a long time and the problem goes away or whatever. And it's like, man, it's pretty crazy.

So let's move on from that. They're really good. There's a lot of good documentaries and there's a lot of good biopics. I told you guys I watched Sully, which is the one with Tom Hanks landing the plane in the New York River. Oh shit, yeah, I wanted to see that.

It's actually really good. I really enjoyed it. I wasn't expecting it to be very good. And it's quite a simple story. But I guess I liked watching a Tom Hanks movie where he has a moustache. He's just really enjoyable to watch, isn't he? He's just a great actor, like really likable guy. And he's playing a super likable character as well.

You know, super nice. He is a character, the guy who landed the plane and he's a real good american man though as well you know he's spent his whole life flying planes being a really good guy just a really friendly guy and it's just holy crap it's just so nice that was a nice film i liked it um and i also watched deep water horizon which was another sort of doc i don't think it's a documentary but i i think it falls into that category of recent event dramatized oh is that the oil oil rig yeah and i thought that was terrible man i hate oil rigs i don't want to watch that i thought it was a bad movie but um you know it was it was almost like i i felt like i like i love watching documentaries but sometimes documentaries get a little bit too much and so it was nice to watch a few of these sort of real life i haven't

seen um jackie but i've heard good things about it as well the one about jackie kennedy posters for that what's her face um padme is in that right she has a like super weird accent but apparently everyone says it's like perfect well yeah because it's like it's got to be um because where are the kennedys from they're from um are they from new england new england yeah they're like in and around there they've got those really heavy accents you could imagine she'd talk with a weird voice though as well but it's if you're not familiar with it i guess it sounds really weird but think about like um what was his what was that actor's name carrie grant he had a weird kind of accent it's the guy the mayor from the simpsons. Mayor, is it Mayor Quimby?

Mayor Quimby. Yeah. I meant there's a tax on not wearing puffy pants. Yeah, that's it. That's the accent right there. It's chowder. Chowder. Yeah.

I was watching it the other day with my kids, and it was like, I don't let them watch anything past season 10, and they get quite upset when whoa what do you mean no that's a good shout out you're like i got a second is this episode from season 11 basically beyond season 10 is when it goes bad they they just casually go to space for an episode and stuff and it's not but not you know not in that funny episode where homer goes into space because he won the competition like him and barney go into space yeah that was actually

a good episode. But then it's like, the Simpsons are going to Brazil and it's going to be a series of shit jokes. Yeah. And Homer stopped being funny and the show stopped having a core that was about the family

and became just, how can we insert a celebrity into this episode? Like, for instance, we watched an episode where they go to like band camp and learn to play the guitar and stuff.

And it's like, they all go there and the Rolling Stones are in the guitar and stuff. And it's like the, the, they all go there and the Rolling Stones are in the episode and, and like, but a bunch of other people in the episode musicians and it's fucking awful. It's a fucking awful episode. And that is indicative of everything for me past season 10. If you look at these plots inopsis, it gets more and more bonkers and they're just not funny.

The jokes are not funny. The, the continual like in jokes are not funny. and the the thing is though it's quite straightforward so when my kids watch one of the more recent episodes they can kind of get it i realize now watching some of the series three and four and stuff a bunch of the references and the people that they refer to mean nothing to the kids like nothing that's like well they didn't mean anything to us back then as well like they were such old references they were like references to mad magazine which nobody's really like that was a thing i read when i was a little kid so i got it remember the fold out at

the end you'd fold it up and it would make you an alfred e newman's face never mind i don't know what you're talking about mad magazine it's like an like an American thing. It's like out of New York, I think. So they led references to that. They made jokes of like... I mean, there are a lot of Mad Magazine references. A lot in The Simpsons. When we watch a bunch of them in a row from that particular era, there's like tons and tons of them. References to celebrities that have long dead and... Like Mickey Rooney pops up in an episode. My kids are like, who's Mickey Rooney? Yeah, yeah, yeah. that are long dead and like mickey rooney pops up in an episode my kids are like who's mickey rooney yeah yeah no idea so it's funny to watch those older episodes and um i don't know yeah a lot

of the jokes like they don't know who arnold schwarzenegger is what was the episode was it the episode where where homer wants to be a clown he goes to clown college that's a classic episode and he's like he goes through this this point where like everything he looks at is like dressed in clowns and that's stupid fuck me like and on the topic of the simpsons and having like guest spots and musicians like the rolling stones one sounded pretty bad but remember the flaming mose episode yeah and the red hot chili peppers were in it That was like really fucking good. Like, I don't know what season it was from.

But they were in it very briefly. Yeah. The episode wasn't structured around them. The joke was that Moes was so popular, they got the Red Hot Chili Peppers in. And he tells them to change their lyrics. Yeah, that's right. That's right. How about when it says here, what I got, I'd like to stick it in you.

How about you say what I'd like, is I'd like to hug and kiss you. Oh, yeah, that's much better. Oh, fuck me so so season 10 of the simpsons like because you seem to have like a better idea of where the cutoff for simpsons is yeah what what what happened was like a golden age of simpsons where it was like the mr plow episode episode. Right. The episode where Homer goes back to college was fucking amazing as well. Yeah, yeah. And I think it really... Nerds!

Yeah, it really depended on the writing team because they changed from season to season. But Conan O'Brien used to do a lot of writing for it. When he left and Matt Groening left and also the original producers of the show, like James L. Brooks and Sam Simon and guys like that, they had been around doing sitcoms and TV and comedy for a long time and they were very very funny guys And then they all like Matt Groening went off to do Futurama and stuff like that didn't he so that became his focus

Yeah, and just people like the original crew Stopped doing it. Yeah, I understand that the first episode season was in 1989 yeah You've got to understand that the first episode season was in 1989. Yeah. Well, and the show was meant to be like a short for like a psychology program or something. No, no, it was for the Tracy Ullman show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like a spinoff of that. I mean, the original. You know where these things come from.

They're never necessarily, the very origins of them are never really worth worrying about. But what came out of it was that this, yeah, I mean very very successful it's still going i mean they're still doing season 28 i remember when it got really popular and like eat my shorts and do the bartman and all that like that was must have been what in like 92 that would that would have been like really early on that was so fucking early on but yeah i remember being like a kid i remember being like a 10 11 year old kid and the simpsons was just like it was yeah it was on. I remember being like a 10, 11-year-old kid, and The Simpsons was just like fucking... Yeah, it was incredible.

It was the thing. It was like the best show, and it probably is the best show ever made. Certainly the longest running. Fuck me. Yeah, it's ridiculous. But for me, it stopped being good. Oh, my God.

Okay, so you're right about the guest stars. So this season, okay, season 28, episode one had amy schumer yeah and pendleton ward um episode two alice and janny episode three bill burr michael chickliss and three other celebrities uh drew carey uh kelsey grammar like oh sorry he was such a bubble's neat saver sarah silverman was in episode four uh dan rather was in episode 4 Dan Rather was in episode 5 Wayne Gretzky was in episode 10 Charles Barkley was in episode 13 Magnus Carlsen and Patton Oswalt

episode 15, Michael Sheen in the latest one that just came, was coming out next week or whatever, it's like, oh my god there's so many, you're right it did become weird and celebrity pandering I guess in a way here's where the change happened for me

right so just it was in its element seasons like two onwards season one is is okay i know this is into simpson chat but this is like one of my absolute favorite no no but there's but there's there was a point where they started doing like they're they drawing their eyes differently as well you remember like like like you know like yeah their their eyes were like a little bit bigger or something yeah the artwork did change the artwork to change but it's only slightly his voice changed it was very slight but that feels like that was a big a big change but so here's season seven for example which has like the one the one where lisa becomes a vegetarian and homer has a barbecue and um it ends up with her throwing the pig off the sort of down the road

and it goes off into the distance. That's a very good episode, right? Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to sum it up badly. But if you look at the list of episodes, they're brilliant. 22 short films about Springfield, which is one of the best episodes they ever did. That series are very short.

Some of them are like two minutes long. It's like a series of episodes that revolve around one character very briefly. So it's like there's a bit that revolve around one character very briefly so it's like um there's a bit that's like out of um pulp fiction where the chief and what's the name snake are caught in the basement like in like in pulp fiction right i remember that yeah the episode where they go on holiday and lisa decides to become a completely different person uh and she like it's a summer episode and she becomes kind of cool yeah so they're like really really good episodes with with stories and everything like that season eight was was great i mean you just look there's a ridiculous number of good episodes in there what season was it where

they get the trampoline in the backyard and then they get the pool as well that was another good one too i mean there's a there are some great ones and in in season nine, it's still good. Well, if you Google, you know, Simpsons IMDb chart, right, you'll find a graph that someone's put together of the IMDb ratings of every episode. And you can do this for pretty much any show. And you can see which episodes, which seasons, which episodes, how the rise and fall of these series is. And, you know, there's like the classic one is obviously like jumping the shark in happy

days or whatever or like the classic you know you could you could see where series has changed and how they changed and and where they peaked and had their troughs and you could also see like good episodes and particularly bad episodes you know yeah yeah so there's there's always like you know for example you'll see that like in set in season six of the simpsons there's a really terribly imdb rated one which is obviously a clip there's a really terribly IMDB rated one, which is obviously a clip show and a really high rated one, which is sort of the ones you're talking about,

like Who Shot Mr. Burns, you know, like above nine. And, you know, you can always see a couple of episodes because they do 22, 23 episodes per season. Who Shot Mr. Burns was brilliant at the time. Yeah, it was good. It was so good.

When the season came back, everybody was like, there was, because they made so many different possibilities and endings and stuff. Nobody knew what it was going to be. It was like, it's pretty exciting, I remember. Yeah, it was good. But then season 10, you can see the change.

Yeah. Like there's like a sudden flip. Yeah, the grass just turns and then it goes down. And then it's pretty much stayed around like six and seven since then, which is nowhere near what it used to be. I think it's just, it's still, I'm sure some of the episodes are still very, very good. Okay. Because when you make 22 episodes, it's a little bit like what I said at the start of the podcast.

If you make enough episodes, some of them are going to be okay. You know, some of them are going to come out of the side and just be really good and really well written and really interesting and really just characterful, exciting, good episodes just can't get around it like not for me no it's it's weird though shows like that that happens to a lot of shows you know like it like it happens to it happens to a lot of stuff that's like on like uh network television in the states you know like um when when the show gets taken over by like the gigantic writing team that is meant to get the ratings going and stuff like that. But it ruins the show. Like happened with Heroes, happens with Lost.

It happened with like a bunch of different shows. But Ren and Stimpy, remember that? Yeah. Similar thing where it was like the first couple of seasons that were created by the guy who actually created the show and his team were amazing. Yeah. And then Nickelodeon sort of bought them and was like well actually you're gonna you guys are kind of nuts like we don't really want you doing the show anymore and then they brought in their nickelodeon writers to write it and like it just completely everything was lost

from the show it was just no longer funny it didn't have the same charm nothing like it was just terrible and it just shows like you know a changes. It's because it used to be with, apparently there was a company called Spoonco. But that was John Crickfalusi, who was the guy behind it. He's a Canadian guy. He was from Montreal. It's a very Canadian sounding name, actually. Yeah, yeah. So he left in 93 and the show took over on Nickelodeon,

like you said. So they wanted to keep him, but he left. And the thing is, he was kind of important, I think. But I really liked the guy who voiced it. What was his name? Something West. What was it? Billy West. So Billy West is the voice of, what is it? He does Zap Brannigan. He does Philip J. Fry. And I'm pretty sure he does, yeah, Farnsworth, Dr. Zoidberg. I mean, he's like a brilliant voice actor. And he does Ren as well. Yeah. And he was Ren. And he's like, yeah, he's a great actor. He really is. Following on from this, I remember reading an article, it was pretty interesting. Like around

the time when they were talking about, you know, the guy that voiced Ren and the guy who voiced, you know, Fry and stuff and like a proper voice actor. And now like what a lot of people do is they get celebrities in. I guess that's what The Simpsons is doing. That's what he said in a podcast. You know, like movies do it all the time as well you know they just get these yeah like eddie murphy like yeah eddie murphy's a funny guy he's a fucking hilarious stand-up comedian he made some really funny movies but is he actually a voice actor like he could probably just about do it but like there's guys out there with like legit talent like you see it a lot in the 80s cartoons you know like they would reuse the same

guys like in transformers and gi joe and stuff and like some of them were really shit hot like really fucking good they had a really good range as well but like but that's what billy west said in this interview i saw it was actually some guys from from something awful that interviewed him this was years ago and they did a skype call with him and he said that his problem was that nowadays because it's all celebrities that there's not the voice acting talents it was literally okay now i'm will smith and i'm a giraffe i'm will smith and i'm a shark i'm will smith and i'm a puppy but it's still will smith yeah he doesn't do anything it's just him you instantly oh that's will smith's voice but that doesn't make it better like if you think

about the i instantly know the character of zap brannigan just from the voice acting they didn't just get william shatner to do the. It's funny because it sounds like this guy who's kind of doing a kind of Shatner impression, but it sounds funnier because he's got his own character. But anyway. And I'm just looking at all these graphs. There's this great website, graftv.kevinformatics.com.

It has all of the shows. And they're like, it's just so cool. You can see which shows, like The Sopranos and House of Cards. I thought Sopranos was pretty tight, actually. Six seasons, you know, they ended it perfectly. You know, they ended it right when you just thought a lot of the good characters were killed off. You were getting really fucking sick of the fucking...

Because the show was about people and how people never change, right? fucking because because the show was about people and how people never change right and like how they just fucking always gravitate back towards the comfortable old shitty routines and stuff like that and just at the end of season six you're like fuck i i don't think i could watch another season of this guy just fucking doing the same shit making the same mistakes and stuff and it ended it was like perfect it's really good and they left it open too, you know? Like it could have gone like any way after that last scene, but it was like, Soprano's a pretty good example of that, I think. It was just as long as it needed to be. And they didn't drag it out and try to cash in on it more or anything like that.

So anyway, we were over on a bit, but that's just what happens. Do you want to go bodega? Have we got one? We do. It's a brief one this week okay cool that that fits because we had like a solid half hour simpsons talk that's true so this is this is short it's it's very loosely written like obviously i i didn't have a lot of time because i was writing the rest of it but so it is what it is i mean are you are you

happy committing because like we could always put it off till next week. I'll go for it. People like I would rather put out a mediocre bodega than no bodega because I know people will lose their shit. And all I'll have for the next week is messages saying where's bodega. So it's OK. It's all right. OK. All right.

Bodega. Part 14, which is 14. Holy shit. Is that actually how you say it? I don't know. It's a guess. With a flash of light, the disco Volante exited hyperspace and now sat stationary in the system known as War One, a single-planet, single-star solar system.

Checking the local area sensors, Bodega saw, as he expected, a vast array of spaceships parked just outside the designated safe area. What planet is this? Asked Rab. It's a Dyson sphere, actually, and it's named War One, said Nebbish, glancing up from his computer terminal. If you've never heard of it, be grateful. It's a hellscape.

If you thought Tartania was rough... Hey, Nu, watch your mouth, pal, said Rab, bristling and turning towards Nebbish. Tartania's very nice around the old castle, but... But Nebbish just bit into a pawed fruit and carried on staring at his computer screen. And Kytos is down there somewhere, said Bodega. THE Kytos? asked Rab, turning back to Bodega. Yep, said Bodega, sighing.

Well that's that then, said Nebbish. Now we can get him out I reckon, said Bodega, templing his fingers and staring at the screen. What's going on here boys, follow me in, said Rab. Nebbish closed his screen and leaned back in his seat. War One is unique in the galaxy for a few reasons. Firstly, it's home to a white hole, the reverse of a black hole, and the white hole exists inside the artificial planet War One.

The sphere surrounds it and draws power from it. As a result of its proximity to the white hole, however, time moves so fast, about 600 times faster, that while we've been having this conversation, around an hour and 40 minutes has passed down there, said Nebbish, pointing at the angry black planet staring at them through the viewport. That's impossible, said Rab. We would have been talking for about 30 seconds, eh? Secondly, said Nebbish, continuing, the people that built War One around the White Hole have been fighting a war amongst themselves for the last, well, for us, one month, but for them, around 600 years. Rav's mouth was just sort of hanging open.

War One was an extremely hot ticket. The other ships in orbit weren't traders or troops. They were spectators. Arrayed around the planet were satellites that acted as relays, providing close-up footage of the action taking place below, and passing on news stories and communications broadcast from the surface. It all had to be slowed down to match the time outside the influence of the White Hole, so there were literally years of footage to be reviewed, and the eager fans of the war were lining up to do so.

A lot of War 1 merchandise had been shifted, and boxed sets of seasons 1 through 3 had just been released. It was some war. The story so far was that the outer surface and the inner had fallen out in a big way, and it was just starting to hot up as the surface-ese people had launched a stunning preemptive attack against the Insidians. Early escapees from the war confirmed the beginning of the saga,

but now, with the war in full flow, few dared to go back down, either because they didn't want to get blown up or because of the saga, but now, with the war in full flow, few dared to go back down, either because they didn't want to get blown up, or because of the time slip effect. As such, the arrayed audience were on the edge of their seat regarding the upcoming storming of the royal Insidian Palace. So why is this Kytos down there anyway, the blasted fool, said Reed, who was reclining on a couch in the lounge area. Same reason you were on Scarpon, I guess, said Bodega. But he'll die of old age before we get to him, said Reed. Not Kytos, said Bodega, smiling.

He's got a gift. This was true. Kytos was Sigilese, a race of beings who were seemingly unaffected by the passage of time. According to generally accepted Sigilese mythology, they had existed since the beginning of time itself, and according to generally unaccepted Sigily's mythology, they were the best thing since sliced quam loaf.

Wait a sec, we're getting something coming up from the planet, said Nebish, adjusting the viewscreen frantically. It's a vessel, and it's Sigily's. That's our boy, said Bodega, hailing the sleek silver Sigily's craft. But it didn't respond. Instead, it broadcast a hail to every ship in orbit. Nebish joined the vast conference call, and there was Kytos on screen, battle-scarred and weary looking. The war is over. Billions have died. The Insidians are victorious, he said. A thousand

voices all bellowed at once, no spoilers, before descending into a cacophony of abuse. 500 years worth of box sets and footage was now rendered useless by this single colossal reveal. You should all be ashamed of yourself, you verminous coiffules, said Kytos, snapping off his broadcast and heading out of the system. Bodega quickly hailed him on a private channel. Harry, Kytos, he said. Greetings, friend Bodega. It is your honor to see Kytos again, said Kytos.. Greetings, friend Bodega. It is your honour to see Kaitos again, said Kaitos.

Got a little proposition for you. Let's say we meet up somewhere more friendly, said Bodega. Sure, I've got nothing else on today, said Kaitos. Okay, see you in a few, said Bodega. What an exchange. Yep, we'll talk soon, said Kaitos. Bye, said Bodega. Cool, said Kaitos. The end. Cool. yep we'll talk soon said Kytos bah said Bodega cool said Kytos

the end I get the impression that you were running out of time towards the end there because Kytos was like yeah I just thought it was funny

just having this stupid conversation anyway oh I love that sure I've got nothing else because obviously I mean I've got to keep it to two pages

otherwise it takes 20 minutes to read the story I love how you wrote that down though sure I've got to keep it to two pages otherwise it takes 20 minutes to read the story. I love how you wrote that down though. Sure, I've got nothing else on today. As if that's how people talk in space. That's like a fucking typical Series 11 Simpsons move right there.

I've always liked making the dialogue really serious and then just having them say the kind of shit you say every day. That was glorious. The world building you do is day. P-Flags, that was glorious. The world building you do is spectacular. I really got into that Dyson Sphere stuff. I love Dyson Sphere. Love a good Dyson Sphere, man.

Yeah, I love a good Dyson Sphere. You can't really get enough. I feel like we obviously all know what a Dyson Sphere is, but I think that what you'd find is that a lot of people surprisingly wouldn't know what a Dyson Sphere is. All right, I'll quickly tell you what a Dyson sphere is. So they might have to Google it. So basically, it's a megastructure that you build around a star.

So it completely encapsulates the star out to a distance of one astronomical unit. So it would require, I think they've figured out, if you took all the material in the solar system and were somehow able to repurpose it, you could get one that surrounded our star out to a distance of one AU and it would be a thickness of about 20 centimeters. So you could completely surround it. So obviously you'd have to make it ridiculously strong

because if it gets dinged and starts moving, you're in big trouble. You'd have to hold it in place around the sun so that it doesn't move in any way because if it starts getting closer to it, you're going to crash into the sun. But you could live on the interior of the dyson sphere and you'd have infinite energy because you'd capture all the the energy from the sun so you know it would be theoretically um very very impressive as a sort

of future race place to live but uh yeah they don't they don't exist although they do think that that that sun that had a weird wobble might have had some megastructure like a dyson sphere around it. There's other types of Dyson structures, aren't there? That aren't spheres, like Dyson rings and things like that. You can do that a bunch of different ways. Sort of on a related note, isn't this like the next thing that they're adding to Stellaris?

Something like this? Yeah, they're adding all kinds of stuff like this, which I'm really looking forward to. Yeah, we might have to have a look at that. Anyway, that's all we've got time for today. Thank you everyone for listening to Triful's podcast. Thank you so much! It's been a good one. Anyway, that's all we've got time for today. Thank you everyone for listening to the Tri-Force Podcast. Thank you so much. It's been a good one. We will see you all next week. Cheers.

Goodbye. Bye. Bye. Bye.