Triforce! - Triforce! #46: Ye Olde Boner Blocker

Episode Date: May 31, 2017

Triforce Episode 46! Lewis isn't feeling well so Sips and Pyrion cheer him up with some time travel sex adventures and fine dining!   Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hi, everybody, and welcome to the Triforce Podcast featuring Lewis Brindley. Hello. Pyrrhon Flax. What's up? And me, Brian. How are you, Brian? I'm kind of new here. I was hoping that we could just like...

Just to fill you in. Tell each other a little bit about ourselves and stuff. I'll tell you what, let's give you a little rundown of how this works, okay? Right, yeah. If you're new, the first thing you have to... You pay us to appear on the podcast because this is like for exposure, okay? Oh, shit, okay. It's for every person that listens to the podcast, you pay us to appear on the podcast because this is like for exposure, okay? Oh, shit, okay. So it's for every person that listens to the podcast,

you give us £100. Right. There's a problem straight away. I only have Bitcoins. Well, I only take sexual favours as currency. For him, yeah. Because Bitcoins could crash any time, whereas a blowjob's always a blowjob.

That's in the bank. It's very consistent. consistent shit you know what i think you might have solved something there lulu the value of sex or sexual favors is never going to diminish like it's probably the most stable currency the world has it appeals to almost everybody why haven't we been doing it this way all along everyone's gonna need it would really make you think before you bought a new sofa as well, the things you'd have to do for a new sofa. This week only at DFS, a thousand pounds for a sofa, or blow us a couple of times. Blow these two guys. A little tiny bit of anal. Just a smidge of anal and the sofa is yours mcdonald's gonna take your order please

uh three happy meals please and a large quarter pounder with cheese that'll be two hand jobs and a rimming that'll be a um that'll be one bukkake uh on on you of course um so you might not be able to tell but i have bronchitis. I am dying of bronchitis. Well done. Can people die from that? No, it's like you've had worse. We've had worse. I've always had worse.

I feel fine, but when I laugh, I die. Where is bronchitis on the spectrum, though? Like what's worse than it and what's better than it? It's pneumonia and better than it is a cold. I had pneumonia when I was smaller. Does that make me the winner? Yeah, that's definitely worse. If you've had pneumonia, that's just lower down.

Right. In the lungs. It's pretty bad. Pneumonia. You don't want to get that. I had appendicitis when I was a kid. That was pretty bad. Oh, no.

Do you have to have it out? You can almost, you can die from that. Yeah, I did. You can? Yeah, it can poison you. A girl at my school had it and she was screaming like i've never heard anyone scream really bad i was like seven years old i think i remember it i was so this is when we were in the states and i remember waking up and my stomach was really painful and i felt really

sick and i went to go and see my parents in their room and i was sick outside their door and my mom opened the door that's when you know someone's gonna take it seriously yeah yeah i was like and then she there's like those certain warning signs right where you first excited you know normally people think i'm a bit sick don't worry about i'll get better i'll get better and then there's that one thing that happens you're like okay yeah this isn't normal this is this is probably go to the doctor now because she used to be a nurse she you know she bit. She was like, right, lie down. And I was complaining about my stomach. And she pushed the part of my stomach where your appendix is,

which is on the right-hand side. And I was like, ah! So she was like, all right, that's the appendix. So she had to try and get me to the hospital. Because if you call an ambulance, it's very expensive, right? So we were going to get a cab to the hospital. Oh, of course, yeah. Oh, is this here in America?

Yeah, in New York. Good old America. I know know isn't it a great system what a wonderful system land of the free home of the brave brave cab takers when you're sick because you can't afford it that's why they have the most competitive ambulances in the world theirs can fly they can go through time uh they're rocket powered because you know competition has led to far better ambulances than we have and they can go underwater as well and they can transform

they go you only have to give them a power cube and away they go like that's the system works I mean the last thing you want to do as well

is call an ambulance and have to pay for it on the spot with a blowjob when you've got your appendix she'd have to be like turn around don't look at mommy sucking off the ambulance man this is for your own good yeah do they do you think they have like commercials because it's like privatized and there's competition and stuff do you think they have

commercials like next time you need an ambulance look no further than Crazy Eddie's Ambulance Service. That's right, boys and girls. We got it all. Sirens, medical supplies, bed inside the ambulance. You order one ambulance and we bring you two. That's right. For a limited time only, two ambulances for the price of one. But that's not all. You guys may have heard about my competitor, Crazy Eddie and his ambulances.

Here at Vinny's Ambulances, let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. Forget about it. These are the best ambulances you guys ever seen. You've never seen ambulances like this. Oh, you want to hear the siren on this bitch. Hey, you get in our ambulance, you get a plate of Gabagool right off the bat. Plate of Gabagool for free.

Second of all. We even got an oven in the back of the ambulance with my wife, Ziti. I got a tray of my wife, Ziti, right here on the passenger seat. Go ahead. Tuck in. Come on. Come on. Make some fucking Ziti for the guys. Fucking legs hanging out. For the kids, we got a little pot of bonbons for them as well.

Bonbons. Fucking bonbons up in this. Kids love bonbons. We got it. Only here at Vinny's Ambulance services hey that's a 1-800 fuck you that's right go fuck yourself oh man that's probably how it works so so you've had your appendix removed uh lewis have you had any body parts removed in your life uh i've had like four wisdom teeth removed and four other teeth removed so i've got like i've only got like four teeth total left.

Jesus. That's why you do that old man toothless voice so well, because you literally are. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I noticed occasionally a couple of whistles. That must be coming from like the cavernous spaces between your teeth that you still have.

I've just got a very small mouth. It's not a good thing to have in a blowjob-based economy well because oh yeah god they've got a petite mouth we're looking for somebody who's got a really really tiny dick so that this man can suck you off he can't accept anything bigger than a microscopic penis unfortunately i'm sorry so your mouth is too small to bank with us it's impossible jesus christ hey so um so i've had my gallbladder removed do you guys know what that is or what it even does not really no so it's like a little fucking sack of bile it sounds important to be honest so that's the thing like we we don't need it anymore how many things are in us that we don't need well gallbladder is definitely one of them because i'm i've been fine for the past like eight years without one wait wait till you need all that gall you're gonna be oh i wish i had some gall fuck it i could do with some gall right now no i

had like this like it's a genetic thing apparently like um i had like like uh some of the bile was like crystallized inside my gallbladder and and when uh when you eat something that had like like uh some of the bile was like crystallized inside my gallbladder and and when uh when you eat something that's like really high in fat you know like because when we were cavemen we didn't we didn't eat like a lot of fat but when we did eat fat it was like a huge amount in like one go so the idea was that your your gallbladder would like activate pump out some more bile into your stomach to help you, you know, break down. For those of you who did know, Sips and Period are pretty old. So there was a time when they were actually cavemen. That's right. Yeah. So back in the day I needed one, but yeah.

So, um, so fucking there's like the, it was crystallized and there's like this little tiny fucking tube that's like super duper like sensitive. And when the gallbladder goes to do its thing, it was trying to push like little rocks through it. And holy fuck, I used to live close to the hospital. I was up in the night and same as Pirian, I was barfing and everything. I was like, what the fuck? I'm dying. Like I actually, I've never felt this horrible in my whole life. I was like in pain. I was like crying a bit. I was barfing. So I went over to the, to the emergency room and they were like, oh shit, like you might've had a heart attack or something. I was like, what the fuck? I'm like 25 years old. How the hell have I had a, had a heart attack? And they're like, oh, well, you never know.

So they checked me for all this stuff. They're like, nah, you haven't had a heart attack. You can go home. It was like, oh, what the fuck though? Like I'm still in a lot of pain and I've been barfing and stuff that yeah well we can't do anything for you all right thanks it was pretty weird but then i went to the doctors he's like yeah they gave me an ultrasound saw this crystallized stuff and and then they just like keyhole surgery bam removed my gallbladder you felt better they gave me like a little cup at the end with like all of the fucking like hardened crystals they were gross holy shit they looked like rotten teeth it was it was really my god i was looking around inside this thing yeah that's weird because i didn't know what i guess

they would like but i mean i've there's a common thing to have stones isn't it gallstones i guess they are but also you can get kidney stones can't you and other kidney stones are pretty bad too yeah yeah i think my gallstones fairly common but it's more common in older people i think like those those are little kind of they look like little stars don't they like little snowflakes or something but quite big um yeah i think you i think they're supposed to be very painful it's one of the most painful things apart from childbirth is to have like kidney stones and trying like to try to pass them oh god yeah because nothing nothing but pee is

meant to go up that pee tube exactly especially not oh god like trying to trying to pee a golf ball out of your dick no way yeah go geez um it says here according to chinese medicine the gallbladder is seen as the seat of decision making right, right? Which I think... You've had your gallbladder removed, and I think that says a lot about you, Six. Can I just say, I don't want to spread around the lies of alternative medicine. Even as a joke, I think it should be a topic that we do not journey towards,

because down that path lies anti-vaxxing. Agri-period vax. I get furious about people who say Full of bile and gall. My gallbladder is enormous as a result of all this bullshit that I have to hear. All this bile is just stored up. I'm just waiting

for someone to come up to me and say, I hope you didn't vaccinate your kids and I will vomit bile in their face. Black bile. All over the place. Oh man. I can't think of anything that smells worse than bile though god it's so gross fuck it's pretty bad it's really i mean you haven't got anywhere to store it anymore the bile it's just a whole point your stomach produces it too though hot shot where you keeping it yeah where you put it all that bile? I keep it in an old can of Coke and I just drink it down.

Just on the side. Just like tabs missing. Like, don't drink that. What is it? Just don't touch it. It's my bile. I need it. Don't touch daddy's bile.

I might have to eat some cheese later. So I'm going to wash it down with once in this can of Coke. I got to break this down somehow. Kids, jeez, I'm going to die if I eat this cheese. So no, don't worry, P-Flex. We're not gonna go into complimentary. Don't call it complimentary. Don't call it complimentary. Why?

That's, like, a nice thing to say about something, isn't it? That was very complimentary. It's bullshit. Call it bullshit. What's the scope for this stuff, though? You're talking about, like, the drops and, like, the fucking crystals. I'm talking if anyone tells you that... Acupuncture.

Any of that shit. Any of that shit. Any of that shit. You include all of it. The whole thing. The whole pantheon. What about the, what about the Alexander technique? What's that?

Have you heard of that? What's that? It's like a, like a, it's kind of like a technique that sort of teaches you to retrain your posture and stuff. Cause they think that a lot of like illnesses, like common, like modern day illnesses are caused by people like slumped over at desks for like 12 hours.

Is there any science to back this up? Probably not. No. Then I don't fucking care. You just don't give a shit about it at all. If you can't test it, it doesn't exist. If you can't test it, it works. There's no point saying it worked for my mate Terry.

Like, I don't give a fuck. Fuck Terry. That's not scientific enough. It's not scientific. The sample size needs to be big. the science needs to be solid it needs to be peer-reviewed and consistent and it also needs to be better than the alternative completely devoid of terry he cannot get the fuck out he knows nothing he's clueless okay there's a whole bunch of people spending their lives very carefully studying that all the medicine that we've got in the tennis everything are working

If a better one comes along great. We'll switch to that now. That's better. That's progress Saying they've used rose hip to heal people's bleeding eyes For thousands of years in the northern mountains of the Hindu Kush. No It doesn't matter all right the reason that they did a thousand years ago is because they didn't have modern medicine saying it's really old that means it's good fuck off fuck off i mean it might have worked it might have worked but the the the fact of the matter is back then is that yeah sure maybe that like helped you temporarily but then you just died at the age of like 25 anyway because we were without modern medicine right like medieval times

could be that like people just lived in squalor and they died from like all sorts of clean their teeth now like they used to dump like this they used to dump their commodes like just out in the road and people would walk through them and like trudge all that shit back through their house and they'd get fucking diarrhea i've been meaning to talk about this for a while i can't remember if we mentioned it on a previous podcast if we did i apologize it's been a long time that we've been meaning to talk about this for a while. I can't remember if we mentioned it on a previous podcast. If we did, I apologize. It's been a long time that we've been doing this, and occasionally the same topic repeats itself. But you go back in time, right?

You're a time traveler. You go back about... That was a really dramatic pause. I know it was. I'm setting the scene. You go back about 600, 700 years, all right? 600, 700? That's a long-ass time, man.

It's a long time. You've gone way back. You've gone way back you're talking like like pre-industrial evolution everything it's like 1300 that's like 1300 really really long time 14th century it's proper proper old school okay right you're walking through a small like the nina the pinta and the santa maria like times now we're like yeah in the middle ages yeah yeah we are so uh you're walking through town a small village, somewhere in rural Dorset, and you see a beautiful young woman. But ask yourself these questions before you think about indulging in some time travel.

What kind of currency are people using to trade? They're still on money. They haven't moved up to sexual favours yet. It's still money. Okay. Well, they're very backwards. They're backwards people. First of all, she's going to stink, isn't she?

Let's be honest. She's going to stink. Like, really, really bad. They didn't have any kind of... I don't know. They didn't bathe. Most people didn't bathe. Women just have a pleasant smell about them anyway.

Not in the 1300s. No, come on. Even in the 1300s. Okay, like... No. We're meant to believe that... No, but even back then, like, even the Egyptians had, like, perfumes and stuff. Perfumes have been around for a long time.

Who were those for? Sips, my boy. Do you think the average Egyptian dude that just ran, like, a papyrus stall, do you think he can afford perfume? It's for the wealthy. I'm not talking about the wealthy. I'm talking about your average girl in the street, girl next door. She's an apple farmer, right? She's out in the sun all day.

How old is she? She's 22. Wow, she's like really past her best. She's pretty much past her best. What's going on? Are we talking about this in the context of you time traveling? She's got to be seriously saying, imagine you live back in this time, because it's all relative, right? You don't know any better, so you don't give a fuck.

Right, but that's my point. People talk about time travel. She's unmarried though, right? Okay, you're actually talking about like constantly I'm still constantly about time travelling, sex adventures

I'm very interested in this girl. Can I have more information? What do you want to know? You're talking about people being used to the age of like hygiene and self-grooming going back to a time where none of that existed.

That's not what I'm talking about. Does she still live with her parents? Because she probably has to bathe in the same tub once a week after the dad has gone. After dad, yeah yeah so she's in dad's old bath water if if they they have a bath a lot of people wouldn't have done maybe occasionally she takes a dip in the river but i mean all right so second of all she's gonna be hairy as fuck like everywhere like super super hairy i don't i don't mind that oh that, that's fine. Really?

Yeah, natural hairiness. I've got a soft spot for that for sure. Well, well. Or I should say a hard spot for that. It's going to be hairy and smelly. Man, I don't think it's that bad. She's not French. She's England. You're mocking Lewis's only having one tooth, right?

This woman's lucky to have any teeth. By 22... Howdy, girlie! How you doing there? Want some apples, young man? Uh, actually, no. I just wanted to have sex, so I'm up for that. Well, I haven't bathed in

10 years. I'm hairy as fuck, young man, but if you wanna jump my bones bones, then you want a hairy smelly ride. I'm right here. Mine my tooth. Smells like a dog kennel down there. But, you know, you're up for it. All I'm saying is the doc did not warn Marty about the risks of time travel.

If he'd gone back too far and had to have sex with, instead of his mother, someone else, you know, you never know what might have happened. He might have been seriously disappointed. I don't know. I think people throughout history have always been very conscious of this

and I think they've done their best to wear clean things and stay clean. I don't think, you know, sure, like, if it was a hot summer day

and, you know, she'd be like really sweating her ass off picking apples all day. Oh, the human adult body is pretty smelly though. Like and you know she'd be like really sweating her ass off picking apples all day oh the human adult body oh is pretty smelly though like you know you have to do a lot to keep on top of that stench like but some people like it a bit raw and ready and it's like a fresh fresh sweat isn't actually that bad it's more like old date like down yeah stale sweat that's the stinky stuff

that's the bad that's the bad especially if you've got like a couple of rolls and stuff as well and it just gets stuck in there you can't wash in there and stuff why is she carrying rolls i thought she was an apple salesman well maybe i don't know maybe she's like she's branching out she wants to make maybe she's pioneering apple pies maybe oh good thinking good thinking strudels um no so I don't even know how we got into this line of discussion. Yeah, Flax, I think you're full of shit, man. I don't care. If somebody's a little bit smelly or hairy, like, you know, she might be fucking hot.

You know what? You can't afford to be choosy. You can't be choosy. You ain't got a fucking gallbladder, and you've only got two fucking teeth, so no wonder you guys are happy to jump a smelly, hairy medieval woman. You couldn't fucking wait. I'm a high class Twickenhamite. Alright? I've got choices.

I'm a freak of nature, baby. I'm missing my gallbladder. You know what that is? No? Alright, let's do it. Oh, Mr. Sips. I've never seen a bad without a gallbladder before. Tell me more about brushing your teeth. It sounds like the work of the devil, sir. Oh, my goodness me, sir.

Have you been shaving yourself, sir? You're bald as a baby down there. Why, sir... balls as a baby down there why is there oh god why do we always talk about shaving like all the time what is what the fuck is wrong with us period likes to have a ball he's got a bald head he wants his bald across his own body I guess

I'm hairy everywhere else I've got a hairy chest hairy arms hairy hairy balls the whole fucking don't show up don't show off i'm wearing shorts today get a get a lot of these hairy fucking pins i'd go me me and that medieval girl side by side she'd be appalled at the wearing of shorts shorts why what's the world coming to is shorts oh my god they gotta have like their dresses right down to their ankles. Yeah. Do you know what that means?

Hot. Yeah. Sweaty. Sweaty. Unwashed. Stank. They're going to smell like the homeless. Basically, if you go back in time, medieval time travel fuck with the apple seller, it's

going to be like fucking a homeless woman. That's all I'm saying. Okay. Just consider it. Well, I mean, some people are up for that, though. I'm just saying. Are you into that? Do you know what?

That's a branch of pornography that I haven't seen catching on. Ugly people. Like, where's that category? I think that's amateur, actually. No, but you get some good looking amateurs. What I'm saying is I want a category. When you look at the categories, it's like, you know, you've got all of them A to Z. I want ugly.

Just ugly. Just a category of ugly people. I'm sure you can find it maybe I mean there's like all sorts of porn if you really put your mind to it and look around

it must be someone's thing it must be someone's thing damn look how ugly it is what's it well look at all the overwatch porn there is I mean not again

I know not again we've talked about this before but like that's true you know if there's overwatch porn I feel like there's gonna be porn on anything

there's probably like there's probably porns of people fucking like their fridge and stuff like you know some of the weirdest stuff is the stuff where people who are into inflating things like there are these guys who get inside a rubber suit and then you plug it into like a thing and it pumps up and they can't move like they're stuck in a small corridor i mean i feel like that could that would kind of remind you of being born right you're like you're stuck in a very tight place and you can't move no though like what like what what's your journey yeah like how do you go from not having inflatables to then all of a sudden getting getting off on being inflated and inflatables like oh it's a very incremental

weird path they take that i suppose started off with balloon animals really really got turned on by balloon animals and then i guess one day they were in a rubber ring at the seaside and they thought i'm way i'm really into this really fucking way more into this than i am an enormous boulder in this rubber ring i cannot contain this is incredible clear the beach everybody i'm fucking this but like seriously like how does that develop though like where do you get i think it's literally like that it's so prop heavy it's not like just going to the bathroom and just like knocking one out you know like you got to have a pump and like fucking all these like different things and you gotta pray to god no one walks in on you yeah hell yeah like how do you get a house

to yourself for that long to do all that i think if you're into that that's not really a concern like if your fetish is inflating yourself inside a suit so that you can't move in a tight corridor i'm pretty sure you're alone in the first place yeah maybe i'm coming at it from the wrong angle like all your popular all your housemates will be coming in. People calling, hey, how's it going, Terry? Terry's fucking inflated himself. Why am I obsessed with the word Terry today? What happened? I'm going to Google Terry.

By the way, rest in peace, Roger Moore. So Roger Moore. Oh, yeah, shit. Yeah, he passed away. Fucking, you see, he had a good old long life, though. He was like well in his 80s and stuff when he passed away. 89. It's still sad.

Yeah, yeah. But this guy posted a story, which I thought was really good. Would you like to hear it? Yeah, sure. Okay, so this is a story about Roger Moore. Hold on. Right. One of the things he sort of said he wanted to be most remembered for

was his work for UNICEF, which is quite a nice thing, I guess, because a lot of these people who are extremely famous for being a certain thing, like Arthur Conan Doyle for Sherlock Holmes. Like a cultural icon yeah yeah like they all sometimes they feel this pressure to try and make up for or do something else with their life that isn't that cliched popular thing they're known for and I think he was very he worked for like you know like 20 30 40 years as this UNSF goodwill ambassador I pioneered my modern medicine and I I completely revamped the way that people live their lives. But honestly, I hope that people remember me

for my obsession with inflating myself and masturbating. That's what I want to be remembered for, really. Yeah, obviously, that's what you'd want. All right, so here's the story. This guy, he's seven years old and he's going to the airport in Nice. I'm going to summarize it. He sees moore there reading a paper right so his granddad he asked his granddad um to go over and uh and get the uh the you know autograph he was too shy to do it himself granddad comes back with the autograph and he looks at it and it says

roger moore and the kids got it he's like why doesn't it say James Bond? Like, he's James Bond. He's not Roger Moore. Like, what's up with that? So he goes up. The granddad goes up to Roger Moore and says, I'm afraid you've signed the wrong name. My grandson says you signed the wrong name. It should say James Bond. And Roger Moore beckons the kid over and says, I have to sign my name as Roger Moore, because

otherwise blofeld might find out that i was here so don't tell anyone that you saw james bond please keep my secret now this is where the story gets really good okay it says years later he's working on this recording uh for unicef he's like a script writer he's doing stuff for them roger moore does a piece to camera he's like an ambassador and everything and he he tells roger moore the story and uh and roger moore says uh i don't remember it but i'm glad you got to meet james bond and that was the end of it and then this is something this is what he did after filming walks and walking past roger moore in the corridor and as they get level roger moore stops he looks both ways and he says of course i remember our meeting in nice but i didn't say

anything in there because those cameramen could be working for Blofeld. That is so great. Holy shit. Oh, God, that's great. That's really funny. That was a guy told that story on Twitter. It was just it was so good. Someone should be able to find it.

But yeah, it was a good one. I think those little moments or anecdotes really kind of, it's the little details in them, isn't it? It's the little kind of, it's just so warming, such a better way to remember someone than, you know, a catalogue of what films they did or, you know, whatever. Yeah, yeah, 100%. He could have been so shitty about it too.

And I was actually expecting it to go shitty, you like uh oh you signed the wrong name and like you know he could have just gone on off on one and been stroppy about it and been like well i'm not james bond i'm roger moore and stuff you know like but that that's so cool that's such a such a down-to-earth very cool thing to do yeah i mean that's the thing if you know every you don't hear bad stories about roger moore people saying i was a real shit you know like for instance uh sean connery if you look on youtube you can find a conversation that he did i think it was in the 70s um or maybe the early 80s where he's talking about sometimes a woman just won't shut her mouth and you've got a slapper one like that's like his interview that he did on tv nice sometimes she just won't shut her mouth and you've got to slap her one. That's like his interview that he did on TV. Nice. Sometimes she just won't shut up

and you've just got to slap her in the face. Shut up. Sometimes. Sometimes you've just got to slap a bitch. Sometimes. Is Sean Connery going to have

to slap a bitch? Sometimes she's just really hairy down there and really stinky and you just have to tell her to, you know, just get in that river and strip all your clothes off.

Wash yourself. And then bake me a fucking apple pie, bitch. Jesus. Drop those apples and pick up a bake for fuck's sake. Jesus. Bake yourself, woman. Oh, fuck.

Yeah, well, so Roger Moore, let's still stand by that i mean the fact is like when you die when you're 89 of like whatever ends up killing you it's probably still better than dying at like the age of 52 from like an accidental overdose or something like that you know what i mean like it's always a bit more tragic when somebody's younger and yeah like i see what you mean it's yeah it's it's kind of shitty you know and like especially like when you hear that like a child has passed away or whatever you're like oh fuck that's like horrible that's the worst one isn't it it's not not only does it suck so bad for the kid who never got to like live much life but man it's like sucks so fucking bad for the parents like holy shit like i would i

would fucking kill myself i would like i could not live no knowing that like my kids died like fuck that would be awful yeah it's like yeah i feel like it's it's almost like when someone dies like when they're like 89 it feels almost to me like it's the end of a book where you know you're sad but you know it's the end of a chapter where you know you're sad but you know it's the end of a chapter you kind of end of a book you kind of you know yeah you've seen everything whereas someone dies sure it's almost like well you know there could have been so much more in that book you know so much so many things that weren't we never saw you know whereas when someone comes to the end of their life naturally you feel like well that's that was you know they did

everything that they were going to do we understand that eventually it is going to happen to everybody like you understand but like you said i think that's a good analogy the end of a good book it's got a good you know good closing and yes it does sometimes you do feel a little that feeling that little sadness that it's over yeah i hate that finish a good book you finish that last page you close it and you realize i'm never going to be able to really read that book again. I know, yeah. Well, on the topic of books, I haven't read a book in a long time. You couldn't even say it.

That's how bad it's been. Yeah, I was like, I'm a fucking dribbling mess at this point. But no, I hadn't read a book in a while just because I play a lot of video games. Yeah, no need to make excuses. We understand. But I picked up Red Rising because you kept going on about it. I did. It was super good.

So I actually went to go get it from the library and they didn't have it because we were at the library with the kids. I was like, maybe I'll check for Red Rising. They have it. Right, right. So I went and bought it. Like I actually bought, I didn't even get it for like a tablet or anything. I actually bought a paper book. And it's nice.

It's actually just nice to hold a paper book and read a paper book. And holy shit, Red Rising is really fucking good. Wow. It is good. I cannot put it down. I'm reading it like everywhere. In the bath. I'm reading it while I'm fucking cooking dinner and stuff.

Like it is really good. I like it a lot. That was it. It's part of cooking dinner and stuff. Like, it is really good. I like it a lot. That was it. It's part of a trilogy, right? Yeah, it is, yeah. And it literally gets better and better. It literally gets better and better. It is so fucked.

It is one of those things you're just like, oh, shit, just one more chapter. Like, I haven't had a book like that in such a long time. No, I've picked up so many books and they've just not helped me at all. Yeah, I've been really disappointed lately. I've read a bunch of things and just been like, ugh, this is a slog. Is it because there's not enough anime in the book? I don't know.

Maybe I've been spoiled by some of the things, though. Some anime, yeah. We always talk about how much we like Brandon Sanderson. I watched anime and now I just can't read anything. I fucking hate it. None of these characters have tentacles. None of them are... None of them can punch someone and kill them with a single blow.

I don't know what I'm reading anymore. I only read a book where the main hero has no gallbladder. I will not read a book unless the gallbladder hero... Don't give up on the hero. I'm getting so fucking angry I can't even speak anymore. And another thing. I'm getting so fucking angry I can't even speak anymore. And another thing. Oh, my God.

No, but, yeah, so, like, I can totally fucking recommend Red Rising. Have you never read it before? I don't even find it too sci-fi heavy, you know. Like, I was telling my wife about it. My wife does not like sci-fi. Right. When I try to talk to her about space and, like, how amazing it is that the sun, like, the power of the sun reaches us. It's super far away and stuff. She's like, oh, fucking shut up.

Like, I don't care about any of this stuff. Like, just, you know, I don't want to talk about this. I'm like, okay, okay, fine. But I told her about this book. I was like, there's no, like, you know, he doesn't pull out his reverse photon 3929-d defibrillator thing or whatever like it's all like kind of it's just like a really cool story and she's like i might read that after you're done so like sounds like a sideways insult to bodega quite honestly this sounds like you're having a pop oh are you having a fucking pop of bodega no i'm fucking not okay jeez like if i was gonna say

that i didn't like bidet i would just come up straight up and i'd say i fucking hate bodega like you wouldn't have the guts i would not mince my words about i don't think i don't think you're offended by this p-flat i'm just fucking around so oh my god i'm loving yeah i'm loving stuff i'm loving it's it's the weather, really, right? It's like, you did a, you were at this morning on a, what were you doing this morning, Sips? Yeah, a sponsored walk with a class of 45-year-olds. Wow, that was really fun.

45-year-olds? What are they doing? No, 40 individual five-year-olds. Right, yeah. Oh, fuck. I think kids just want to kill themselves. It's crazy. They have no

concept of what's going on around them ever. The amount of people that need to help a column of 40 kids get down a pedestrian walkway to an objective and then back is staggering. It's crazy. Like so

many people need to get involved to like stop cars and like put their arms up when the kids cross the road and have to help them with their snacks and stuff. When we get to the place, cause they're tired, they have to have some water and some snacks and stuff. And then you have to bring them back. I mean, it was a nice day and everything, but man, I'm glad I don't have 40 kids. Like that. How far did they walk? Like half a mile maybe it took like three hours like it was crazy it was just why did you sponsor anyone did you sponsor your own kid did it work yeah did you get any sponsors we sponsored him and then like like all of our family members and some of our neighbors you sponsored him as well. Just FYI. A couple of other people.

And yeah, so he did pretty good. Like he finished the walk, but it's not really about that anyway. But I think they're trying to save up for like a new fucking, I don't know, like a trampoline or something. I don't know what the fuck they're going to use the money for. But anyway, they do one every year. They raise money and they get something cool like the kids at the school sort of thing. So it's worth doing and stuff. This year we're going to spend all the money on an autograph from the legendary Rushmore.

We heard that some of the members of the class were big fans. He's really fun to get an autograph from. He puts some RP into it and stuff. It's great. It's worth every penny. Man, just go back to what I was saying before about Sunshine, though. Man, it's nothing like reading a real book in the Sunshine. You like to read outside?

I don't know about that. I hate it. The sun bounces off the page. I've got to squint. I'm either looking into the sun so the sunlight isn't hitting the page or I've got the book with the sun hitting it. But is it possible to read on any kind of normal no i think those kindle thingies work don't they well i don't know i've never used paper anyway you ever seen one of those things that's like

magic i disagree lewis as much i like the sun as much as the next guy but i'm not going to be sitting out there for too long like i don't want to get burnt it's too hot it's kind of you just walked three hours in it what What are you talking about? I know. I didn't have a choice in that. I'm not going to go out of my way to sit outside and read a book when I can just do it. That's his entire sunshine quota for the year. Pretty much, yeah.

You're done. You're ready for autumn again, aren't you? Pretty much now, yeah. Goddamn Canadian bastard. The minute I get a little bit of sun, I'm just like, I'm done. Bring on the winter. Let's get back to like six months of gray drudgery, please. Like cold and gray, wet, damp.

It's so damp over here, too. Damn. You know, you miss it after a while. You just think like, fuck all this sun. Let's get back to that shit. That's great. You know, when I watched on TV last night, you don't, but I'll tell you, I watched a show called Gordon Ramsay's Hotel Horrors or Hotel Hell.

Oh, God. Have you heard of this show? Is this the one where he goes to America and goes to hotels? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're always like family-run hotels that are just total garbage and nobody stays at them? I mean, the weird thing is, like, he goes to this hotel that's in New Orleans. Right. And it's like right in the old town.

So it's like, it's a really historic building. Ulysses S. Grant stayed at this hotel, like it's a it's a really historic building ulysses s grant stayed at this hotel like you know obviously a while back but they they bought it like recently like nine months ago these three guys they're like college friends or whatever they the guys must have been in their 30s maybe maybe early 40s but i think more like 30s and they bought this place and none of them have a fucking clue how to run a hotel the the main guy, the guy that got most of the airtime because he was the biggest dickhead, he said he'd only stayed in a hotel maybe 20 times in his life. And he thinks a hotel, that's what we'll do.

And they bought this historic building and they just had no idea how to run it. They just wanted to go to the bar. So every night the bar opens, stays open until ultra late. Gordon Ramsay's upstairs in one of the rooms and all you can hear is people screaming downstairs in the bar. And then there's a garden outside the bar and people are there in the garden drinking and shouting. You can hear the street

and the rooms are right next to that garden. So anyone in that room just has people reveling all night long and just screaming. You know the way Americans do when they get really drunk? Woo! Like all that kind of stuff.

They love a good old woo. They like doing whooping a lot, don't they? They do! They really do. Americans love a whoop. Americans are really into whooping and shouting and stuff. You just don't get that over here. But you go out in the States, you really do hear a lot of woo! Like that. No, I just think, like, British people are just a lot more confrontational,

but not necessarily yelling. They're like, did you just look at my bird and then headbutt you in the face yeah yeah i mean you're gonna get that it's not but you get bar fights in the states as well definitely but this these guys more whooping they didn't have any general manager they just were all in charge of a different section so this guy's in charge of the bar this guy's in charge of the food and and this guy's just the the front of house guy but there's no there's no gm and none of them had eaten the food in the restaurant. Okay? So they were talking about,

Gordon Ramsay ordered the food. It was disgusting, obviously. And he said to the guys, the two other guys, have you ever eaten your head chef's food? And they were like, oh, no, no, never have. Absolutely never have. But I know he's fantastic.

You're going to love it. And Gordon Ramsay was like, no, I've had it. It was fucking awful. Like, it was so, so bad. And they just never eat it. How do you do that? Like, you don't even need to know how to run a restaurant or a hotel to know that you should probably taste your own food.

It just blew my mind. I tell food is not never that great, though, to be fair, is it? I don't. Well, I mean, come on. When we went to BlizzCon. We had this conversation last week, though, Sips, and I think you're one of those people who doesn't know. Like, Jeremy P. Flex, you were talking about those people who doesn't know like Jermaine P-Flex

you were talking about how people say oh the food's great here Sips you like what you like and you like margarita pizzas right yeah and like pasta hummus and chips cheese a cheese

I like those too wow do I ever like them I like a good salad as well i don't know man when we played we stayed at the marriott when we went to blues con and we ate lunch there a couple times the food was fucking good man yeah it's true i really liked it like they had a good spread so yeah so some hotels can definitely have but i mean most most hotels unless they had like a dedicated restaurant that had like like i always think if you've got a restaurant attached to a hotel, like a lot of them have, it's going to be an external. Yeah, it's got to be open externally.

If it's literally this is just for guests, it's not going to be great. Because honestly, what choice have you got? Like you're in the hotel. I don't think I've ever ordered like room service food that I thought was good. Right. Yeah, it's just it's functional. You know, it just does. It'll be functional.

It'll be like chips and a basic sandwich, you know? But you can't get anything that's, you know, I'd never order a fucking anything nice. I'd never order a sushi or a steak on route service. Do you know what I mean? Like anything that was vaguely upmarket at all. Like the grilled cheese or something. Yeah, I'll get like that maybe, yeah.

And it's just not worth any any risk on like anything but then don't do you think that maybe your expectations are like too high in that case because like i mean if you're just going to order like a margarita pizza i mean it's just a margarita pizza right no it's not it's not meant to change your life like it's just it's there's some food to keep you going for a couple hours have you ever had a margarita pizza that you thought this is this is fantastic rather than just that was the default margarita pizza that was what i was expecting every time i eat a margarita pizza literally i'm like this is fantastic because normally i'm pretty hungry at the time i'm fucking ready to devour that margarita pizza so yeah every time i eat one i'm like that you're a simple man i don't know if i'm simple i think i'm a realistic guy like you know some people some people uh live to eat i just eat to live that's a shame

food's great dude like i love if you go for a really good meal i like it but like i'd rather spend my time doing like other stuff sometimes i find eating a bit of a pain in the ass like sometimes some days i'm like i wish that we would just could just like you know inject ourselves with something that would just keep us like nourished for like a week or something so you know what that's a question i ask mrs flax quite often because she she really loves food right she's a real foodie she loves restaurants and all that kind of stuff and i said to her if you like i ask her these these questions all the time if you could never do x again uh you know and but we can stay together and if you want to ask her these these questions all the time if you could never do x again uh you

know and but we can stay together and if you want to ever do x again we have to get married would you would you stay with me you know i ask her those sort of questions they're very tedious for her but it amuses me greatly so the one thing i say to her is would would we still be married if if in order to stay married you own you could only consume a life-sustaining gruel, like a thin gruel. That was the only choice of food that you had for the rest of your life. Nothing else. You could never have any other food again, just the gruel, but we get to stay together. She pauses for a troublingly long amount of time, but she doesn't actually decide that we can stay together.

She's thinking about it because she's thinking jesus like never been able to have good food again just the gruel every day for the rest of my life and i worry if this ever comes to pass which i'm sure it will will she at some point come to resent me and she'll think you're not worth the gruel you know the gruel i i change my mind like we'll have an argument one day and she'll be like do you know what fuck this i want some ice cream we're getting a divorce i'm sick of the gruel i do worry yeah i think like i think that's the thing with food food the the type of foods that you eat and certain foods really contribute to your obviously your well-being but like you're like not just that like your your general mood everything right like the healthier you eat it's it's more boring but you feel so much better in so many ways.

And that's why a lot of the top chefs will really dress up and tart up healthy foods. They'll make them super good to eat and a pleasant experience to eat. And then you feel really good and stuff like that. I think you would just get instantly depressed if you were eating something unpleasant all the time and you'd never had like another, any other options sort of thing. I'm not saying that I want to eat unpleasant food. Like if I could just eat like a very like pleasant space paste or like drink like a really nutritious chocolate milkshake, like three times a day, I would do it because I'm so fucking lazy. I don't want to prepare anything. Half the time, like, I don't even really want to open the fridge

and deal with what's in there. Like, I just like, you know, give me a capsule or something that I can just swallow and then boom, I'm fed for like a week. Lewis, you like food, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm a lover of food.

Oh, yeah. Food? Oh, yeah. Forget about it. Food? Oh, you're crazy. You talking about food oh yeah you know me and food it's like one of the only things you know if james bond was here right now

you know he'd say like he was like listening on his fingers he'd be like you know fast cars faster women and slow food slow slow food yeah slow food you yeah. Slow food. Would you guys, like, so, I mean, one thing that I would love to do is have somebody come in and cook meals. And this is, like, a common thing, apparently, in India, okay? It's like, I used to work with a guy from India who was over here in Jersey. He was, like, on a secondment for a couple of years, like, working at the bank and stuff. And he said back home, you know for a couple of years, like working at the bank and stuff. And,

um, he said back home, you know, they, cause they would, they would have like lots of like dolls and they'd have like, you know, lots of curries and stuff like that.

But he lived with like three other guys. And what they did was they would all, they all chipped in and some dude would come to their house every day and prepare just a ton of food to like see them through the day or whatever. And he said it was it was fucking amazing like the this guy was just like a really good cook like really good chef made like all this really healthy stuff it was like tasted delicious it was like super nice he'd like you know he'd he'd out he'd prepare it like hot and if some of them didn't feel like eating then they

could just like have it later or whatever and stuff it's like lunches for a few days oh man i would i would be up for that okay i could really get into food if that was the case but i don't know how much that cost guaranteed that dude's jizzing in that food i'm just saying i'm just calling it right now guaranteed no i don't know he's preparing it right in front of them so like so some of them have to know that this is also that's a key element of the spicy flavor as a connoisseur you know i can what's the sauce made of my spicy jizz really fantastic my compliments to your balls well i mean it's it's people eat all sorts of horrible shit. So quite honestly, I'm surprised there isn't a salt after spice. It's got a real quiet taste, but yeah, it's got a real piquancy.

There's that French dish, it's like a stew or something, that has to have shit in it. That's one of the ingredients. What do you mean? Cuban shit is one of the ingredients in the dish. Oh, right. Okay. It's true. But they also eat a thing thing called i think it's called the autoland

which is like a tiny baby bird but they they stuff it with food so much i think it might even be foie gras or something that they force feed this thing so it's just like a ball of fat that also has feathers on it and then you eat it like, you just put the whole thing in your mouth. And because the beak and the claws are still on there, it scratches up your gums and the taste of the blood from your cut up mouth adds to the flavor. Like the French, they've gone too far.

They've gone too far. Well, you know what it's like. It's like the inflation fetish thing though. Again, right. It's like 1% or not even 1 percent like 0.001 percent of people but but it gets more publicity because it's so extreme or it's so gross it's so weird because

we're like we just question it you know i think i think what's more gross is like you know leaving milk in a flipping thing with some mold and letting it go increasingly moldy and they go oh lovely stilton oh it tastes so delicious look i'm just shoveling it down your face like that's it is sour fungus moldy milk like how is that do you mean like a lot of people find that really gross but we're totally accepting of cheese aren't we you got a problem with cheese yeah one one time i was in france okay this is when i used to eat meat and um we always struggle like when we go to fr, because my wife back then was was still a vegetarian. I wasn't quite a vegetarian. But even then French food is is can be very different depending on the region of France that you're in. Right. So we were we were

we went to this restaurant, we were really hungry. It took forever to find something that like my wife could get that didn't have meat in it or whatever but we found something and then i was just like i was super hungry and i was just like i want something like kind of familiar so i'll get like this sausage and chips right but it's like like a blood sausage but i didn't realize it at the time like i thought it was just going to be like a sauce a normal kind of sausage and like some chips or whatever so i ordered this thing and i'm super hungry and i'm waiting we're talking and stuff. I love how you go to the most posh French restaurant. Well, it wasn't even really.

I will have the sausage and chips, please. But I was desperate. I was not feeling adventurous at all. I was just hungry. Like I just wanted something somewhat familiar. I just needed to eat sort of thing. Waiter comes out with this plate, with this sausage on it, and he puts it down. And instantly this smell hits me.

And for a split second, I was like, fuck me. This guy hates English people, and he's done a dump on my plate. Like I actually thought he shit on my plate. Like I thought he's being like really rude or something. And I had to like do a double take. And I was like, oh, my God. And then I tried this thing, and oh, my God, it was, oh, fuck. I just ate the chips.

I couldn't do it. It was so fucking bad. Holy shit. I'm starving right now. Go get some blood sausage. That really set me off because, man, I could really just get a whole blood sausage. Well, my mouth's quite small, though, so I can't make up the whole thing. A small blood sausage.

Yeah, just a really tiny one. But, like, I could nibble on it. Like a cocktail. You need a cocktail blood sausage. Do you have a small version of this? Get a funnel and put it in Lewis's mouth and grind up the sausage into tiny pieces for his tiny little mouth. I'm starving now.

Can we round this off because i don't know man like some some food can fuck right off in my opinion like i don't know i think some like i can't believe that some people eat that stuff and they you know they go on and on and on about it it's like oh fucking just eat and just shut up about it i don't know food's an interesting thing it's an interesting thing and i i i sort became a bit vegetarian and then i became i did vegan for january and that was really hard and then i sort of went back to being vegetarian and i tried lots of different things and then recently i've i've um i was in a few sort of restaurants went out for dim sum and i was like man i just can't i can't just have the vegetarian options i've got to try some of these things it

was quite nice um it was quite nice to eat a little bit of me again, just because I don't know. It's like a treat kind of thing. But no, I feel like, I feel like I'm, I think being a vegetarian is really healthy. I'm definitely trying to do it as best I can.

And man, there's so many vegetables. I've got a new little garden. I'm going to plant some, I've got some, some plants I plan to plant in it. Nice. Some bulbs.

I've got some little trees. Yeah, so I'm moving to a new flat in like a week. Oh, yeah. Where are you? Yeah, congrats. And it's got a little garden. And so I'm looking forward to planting that up with some summer veg and just seeing how that goes.

It's one of my goals. But, yeah, I've been cooking lots of different things, cooking with weird stuff, drinking lots of weird teas and stuff stuff it's like a new health food shop nearby that's like quite cool i've been there's nothing cool about a health food shop but that does sound good i'd say about half the things i cook are disgusting yeah and inedible but some of them are like wow that actually was pretty pretty good and you know i got some shiitake mushrooms the other day cooked those up and man they were really fucking nice actually good really fucking awful really yeah they were just but yeah i know a lot of people because i used to hate mushrooms right i used to know a lot of people i used a lot

of people hate mushrooms for because they don't like the texture they're the flavor they're like blah blah but it's like the same thing with olives as well that olives a lot of people don't like olives but this olives are such a spectrum and so are mushrooms that you can have like something completely different and so you shouldn't just dismiss all you know it's like you know you had a bad one once sure but that doesn't mean all of them are like that anyway i i love a mushroom and i think that i watched this documentary about these guys who prepare sort of vegetables as the main dish. So rather than having like, you know, a big chicken leg or a big old whatever steak,

they cook up a really nice squash or carrot as like a main dish. They sound like great company and a ton of fun. I'd love to get them over for a fucking vegetable barbecue one time wait so you have to eat meat to be fun what the fuck like you you have to what you just have to slap down some shitty processed meat on a barbecue to have fun i like how sips is mocking me sips you are the worst vegetarian i think i visited you for a week and we didn't eat a single vegetable or if you unless you count chips which are not a vegetable well they technically are but it was like all cheese

pasta pizza like like like some salads sure but like vegetables wise so so instantly we did eat some vegetables great i'm glad that you admitted that. So, sorry, what was your point? I love how you're not on my side here. You're like a, I don't know, like a half-arsed vegetarian. Sips' problem was that I claimed that you have to eat meat to have fun. And what I'm saying is that if I had some people around for dinner, or I went to someone's house for dinner, and they said, we're doing a roast, and I was like, fantastic. And they said, here it is and presented a roast squash. I would

punch them in the fucking balls. I would punch them in the fucking balls. You'd be fine. It'd be great. I would take off my napkin and fold it neatly and place it on the table. I would rise from the table and I would say, gentlemen, I have been lied to. You are a pair of mendacious vegetarians and I'm

leaving. And I would storm out. But, sir, this apple pie, I've just cooked it freshly for you. Oh, sir, you must try my apple pie. It might have a few hairs in it. I've tricked my nanny just for you. You get this a lot, though, as a vegetarian. Like, they get such a bad rap for no reason. Like, there's plenty of vegetarian meals that are really really nice

they're really good and people just assume that you're just some weird fucking tree hugger because you don't want to eat like fucking shitty mass-produced i think the main problem i've got i think i think people that eat that shit are the people who have a fucking issue first of all the assumption that vegetarians always make is that somehow everyone that eats meat eats the worst raised, shittiest quality meat that you can. Like, you know, just dragging baby chicks out of a battery farm and shoving them in their blood-soaked faces. I'd say like 80% of the meat that you get in a grocery store is like that. No, it's not. I mean, unless you're sourcing from a local butcher that has like some fucking cows like out back that he slaughters freshly for you,

you probably are eating that shit. I would say it very much depends on what meat you're buying. I mean, if you're buying the one pound for a hundred nuggets. If you're fucking buying a fucking squash or an aubergine, that's unlikely to have been involved in some sort of massive animal cruelty situation, is it? Do you know what I mean? I bet it tastes... You know where that's fucking to have been involved in some sort of massive animal cruelty situation is it do you know where that's fucking come from just as good as a fucking steak oh yeah you know what i could go for now some roast aubergine oh my mouth's watering or a juicy steak how about that

name one time anyone's ever thought oh i'm so hungry right now I could really go for some corn mmm corn me up I'm starving corn doesn't count right because it's not a fucking vegetable it's made of tofu

but it's tolerable nobody's saying that it's like as good as a steak you're wrong you're as wrong as it gets meat's great

you might as well I mean corn is the chicken nuggets of vegetarianism this is meat for the next ten minutes meat meat

meat you're like Rod Swanson Chicken nuggets of vegetarianism. This is me for the next 10 minutes. Me, me, me, me. You're like Rod Swanson. I don't have a problem with vegetarians. I know loads of people are vegetarians. We had a vegetarian live with us for about a month, I think, because he was up here. He was looking for a flat. He was my sister's boyfriend at the time.

And we got, you know, have you heard of Yotam Otulengi? Right? He's like this, he cooks all this vegetarian stuff. vegetarian stuff his stuff was really good you know it was really good we just had all this vegetarian food for dinner and everything it was fine i mean geez you don't miss meat that much but i wouldn't want to do it full time and i hate i hate vegetarians have to go on and on not you sips you're different you're my kind of vegetarian right you're just like oh no i don't eat meat that's cool but it's like you order some food they're like did you know the provenance of that meat that cow suffered shut the fuck up come on i only i only bust those out when somebody starts to like make fun of the

fact that i don't eat it because honestly i i could give less of a shit what anybody else your vegetarianism no no i know but like but some people really go out of their way and you and you think like what the fuck is the problem here like Like, who cares what I'm eating? Like, I'm just fucking trying to get by same as you. Okay, you eat whatever you fucking eat. I'm just gonna eat whatever I fucking eat. It's not that interesting a fucking topic of conversation to begin with did a lot and and it was like it was it was pretty weird because he kept fucking going on about he was like obsessed with it you know like you'd always have this smirk like every time we'd go to like a meal or something like that he'd be like no well uh uh sips isn't gonna be able to get anything from here and stuff like it was always this big fucking deal and i just like i'd always just go along with it be like yeah yeah whatever oh yeah It's work. What are you going to do?

Right. Yeah. And then, so he, he was like having some, like some problems. He was like fucking sweating profusely, like just out of nowhere at work and stuff. And he thought he was like about to have a heart attack or something. He had to go to the doctor a bunch of times and stuff. And then he just did like a total reversal because he went to the doctor and the doctor's like, yeah, your cholesterol is like super fucking high. Like like you're super unhealthy you've got to stop eating meat basically

and he's like oh fuck i can't eat meat anymore and then so he comes to work and he's all sheepish he's like i can't eat meat anymore it's like oh well that's fucking great isn't it asshole like now you've got to fucking eat the shit that i eat that you've been making fun of for like three fucking years you intolerable prick and then so you had to and it was it was really fucking funny like he just he was like a broken man after that it was really fucking great actually that's awesome yeah god there's nothing worse than the asshole at work that you just have to see every fucking day everybody's got one i never like i i never like had to deal with him much, which was nice. And like and when I did, I would just sort of ignore it or something.

But man, people rose to that shit all the time and he loved it. You know, like he just wanted to fucking be in the middle of some drama. And he was just like would love like winding people up and stuff. And he was just like, you can see why people get depressed working in office jobs, because there's always one or two guys like that in these places like they're just like i don't know what's wrong with them but like they just seem to really go out of their way to like make people's lives like an absolute misery at work sort of thing and like ah it's just crazy like i'm oh fuck i'm so glad i don't have to work at an office yeah god it really are the worst jesus god there was so many assholes that i've worked with over the years like it actually one of the important things it teaches you is tolerance like if you have to just

learn to put up with people that you never thought you'd ever have to put up with yeah and you might have to sit next to them they're at the next desk with you know you you just have to deal with it day in day out even worse they're in charge of you and you're like oh that's the worst fuck holy shit how is this guy telling me what to like oh that's the worst fuck holy shit how is this guy telling me what to do like that's the worst but you have to that's why i never got on in any any job i ever had was i would be fine with most of my colleagues no problem get on with them really well but the person in charge the person that you've got to take orders from that always burned me up man i can't stand it i can't stand it i'm a free spirit i thought this bird was not

meant to be c know you know like you know in these movies like like especially in war movies right like you have like there's like like a group of guys that are in like a battalion together or whatever and they really respect like their serge and like and they'll do anything for them and they'll risk their lives for him and he's like super experienced and like knows what he's doing and he leads them all really well and stuff and i think if i worked at a job with a guy like that in charge of me holy shit you know like i would be like on the verge of sucking his dick all the time like i would have no problem with that but the fact of the matter is and the harsh reality is that

mostly the people that are going to be in charge of you in an office are not skilled they have no fucking managerial experience they have no fucking people skills half the time they don't know what they're fucking doing like they can't even do their job let alone manage you but these are the people that have to like review your performance and stuff and it's a it's a really fucking it's it's quite the pill to swallow sometimes because you're just sitting there like, you're fucking managing my performance? Like, what the fuck do you do all day, asshole? Like, it's crazy.

It's really nuts. Amen. I'm never going back. If all this ends tomorrow, I'll fucking go, like, work as a road sweeper or something before I go back to a fucking office. There's no fucking way. Anything where I'm away from an office. Maybe you can be a freelance science fiction writer

publishing your works on the internet under the pseudonym Buck Naked. I wasn't really implying that. Is there a bodega today? No, there's not. And I want to make a bodega announcement. There aren't going to be any more on the podcast. Oh. Are they going to be any more on the podcast. Oh.

Are they going to be standalone? What the fuck are we going to fill the last 20 minutes with then now? Vegetarian stuff. Right, okay. For a balanced diet. No, the stuff I write now is going in the book. The stuff I write now is going in the book. That's it.

Right, okay. Well, I for one am very excited. Thank you for listening to the Dreyfus podcast this week everybody I'm a bit sad to hear there's going to be no more Bodegas on the podcast

but they did always feel a little bit tacked on a little bit weird a little bit unusual it felt a bit weird having them

I think they deserve to be up front if anything we have to figure out what we're going to replace it with and if it's vegetarian recipes I've got a real zinger for you guys right now. Let's hear it. Okay, so what you do is you

get like a brick of halloumi, okay? You cut it up into little squares, you shove that in the frying pan, and then you cut up a whole bunch of peppers, okay? Green peppers, yellow peppers, red peppers, all the peppers. You put a bunch of those in the pan as well. Then you dice up an onion, okay? And you put all the onion into the pan too, and it's sizzling away there and it's starting to smell really good. If you want to, optionally, boil up a little bit of rice on the side and then like right as everything is like getting ready, like fried up in the pan and stuff, just chuck the rice in like a couple of minutes and stuff. Put all of it into a bowl when it's done.

Oh, put some salt and pepper on there as well. It's pretty nice. Put it all into a bowl after it's all done frying up and stuff. And then get some soft tortillas, wraps, right? Okay. Dice up some tomatoes, get some lettuce. Man, like the best fucking meal you'll ever have, I'm telling you. So good.

It's really good. Just make like some big fucking wraps. That sounds good. If I'm going to leave every podcast like drooling, this is probably not going to go so well for me. It's so easy to make too. It takes like 10 minutes. That is good.

You might not need a bit of too much salt because halloumi is quite salty. You can put some extra salt if you want. And you can always add a little bit of spicy sauce or whatever floats your boat. That sounds like a top recipe though, Sips. I think that's kind of the thing I usually make when I'm over yours. We are going to go. Thank you for listening, everybody. All right.

And we'll see you next week. Peace! On the Trafford's Podcast. Bye! Goodbye.