Triforce! - Triforce! #65: Prince Philip, Jedi Master

Episode Date: April 25, 2018

Triforce! Episode 65! Sips and Pyrion went on holiday, Lewis hates clickbait and Prince Philip is a Jedi Master!   Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Please play responsibly. 3, 2, one, go! Hello everyone and welcome back to the Triforce podcast today with me, Lewis Sips, also from Jersey. Hello Sips. What if I told you that doing Go instead of Mark actually depleted me of energy? Right, I see, yes. So like it's a positive for you but it's a negative for me. I don't know if the people listening know about the whole difference between go and mark. For anyone listening that doesn't know, what we do is, when we're recording to sync it up,

it used to be 3, 2, 1, mark. Yeah, for years. For some reason, they changed it to 3, 2, 1, go. Years and years and years, yeah. Literally, for the entire time I've known Lewis and Sips and I've done any kind of recording, it's always been 3, 2, 1, mark. And now it's 3, 2, 1, go! Well, I changed it because I didn't...

A lot of people were, like, confused about the word Mark being used because we've got Humes in the office, we've got Terps. He likes to be called Mark now. It's confusing. Does he? Yeah, he prefers it, I think. He doesn't want to... And Shin wants to be called Paul as well.

No, he doesn't. You would like to be called Christopher. Right. And Pyrrha would like to be called Edward. I feel like you're making a lot of this up right now. And I would like to be called Jane. Zephos. You want to go back, you want to call everybody by their real name but you want to go back to your internet name. I'm the only one who's allowed a cool name. That's it. Everyone else has to be shitty normal names so we we missed a week last week because sips you're on holiday i think i was yeah were you away as well yeah where did you go i went to cornwall nice i went to um windsor ontario lovely yeah no windsor outside of uh london

the windsor the real windsor is that where lego land? Did you go to Legoland? Yeah, we went to Legoland. We went to Windsor Castle. We went to Legoland. We went to this miniature railway village thing. That was good. It was a very... All of our vacations are for the kids, right?

So it's not really... You come back more tired than when you went. You almost need a separate vacation to recover from the vacation i did i did all the driving we drove to cornwall and we drove back via bournemouth to pop in and see my mom so it was about we were only down there for like three nights so it's like a five hour drive down jeez and then a five hour drive back via bournemouth man so for the sake of like three or four three basically

i think it was four days like two nights in it or something like that in cornwall i had to drive for 10 hours so basically a full working day right behind the wheel of a large automobile did you ever have to go on the m3 at any point because holy shit that that motorway is a nightmare do you have a problem with the M3, my friend? It's jam-packed. Like, every time I'm on it, it's just... Well, you're driving at the wrong time. It's like a gridlock.

That's my road. This is... Sorry, did I just walk into a Christmas party where, like, you know, the dads are chatting away about, oh, God, did you see the traffic on the M3? Yeah, yeah. What route did you take here? You should have gone round by the North Bypass, mate.

You ought to take the road up by M16. Did you see the new Give Way sign right before the roundabout? Oh, yeah, it's a really good one. Ted, oh, man. So tell me about Legoland. I've never been. I want to go.

I'm excited, actually. Oh, man, it's really expensive for what it is. You're just talking about Lego now. I know, but it's like, you know, when you see the commercials and stuff, you think it's like, holy shit talking about lego now i know but it's like they you know when you see the commercials and stuff you you think it's like holy shit this is disneyland but with lego it's not it's like a local fun fair with lego and it's as expensive as disneyland i i wouldn't i didn't get it no we went there i mean they had things like it was all just a bit fucking tatty and shabby i don't care i'm

the problem is is that it's outside but the uk has notoriously shit weather so like anything that's based entirely outside in the uk is gonna look like hell because it's just gonna get battered like for you know whatever we have like two weeks of sun in this country a year so the rest of it is all rain and like there's there's actual like it looks like there's seaweed growing on like some of the statues and stuff because of all the dampness and the rain in that area and they've got like the lego world thing that they built outdoors it's all miniature cities and that was pretty cool i mean the thing is but didn't you notice that it's all old lego like it's all just kind

of really old like that's obviously the bit they built first some some of it felt a bit cheaty as well it wasn't entirely lego like there was definitely some walls that were just big walls yeah they just made not made of blocks they're just like that fuck it just make a big wall yeah it's easier wedge of plastic put some goddamn styrofoam in there terry and a breeze block it's it was impressive enough i guess it was pretty good it's it's big surprisingly big when we got there it was like holy shit this is pretty big but like i don't know the weather was not great it was really cold it was like it was not sunny and stuff and i mean that's that's always gonna sort of not not be a good thing when you go to a theme park, right? You really want the weather to be nice.

But it's good for small kids. It's really geared up to small kids. The rides were shit. Like, I think up to like seven or eight, I think it's okay. But I mean, for an adult, I mean, some of the rides you have to queue for ages. And it was like, this is garbage. There's no thrill here. It's just a very slow

moving platform and the kids are like even they're like huh i thought roller coasters were scary it's like this isn't a roller coaster this is the fucking teacups and you have to queue up an hour to go on the teacups man so busy while i was away i think i found like where where sips fans come from because holy crap like people windsor i i think i was recognized like 20 times it was insane i couldn't believe it it was just like like everywhere i went it's like sips it's like oh hey how you doing what are you doing here oh well uh you know i'm just just on a little vacation and everybody and everybody's like are you here for the wedding? I was like, no. What the fuck would I come to the wedding for? What, the royal wedding?

Yeah, yeah. Jesus. Is that what they were there for? Sips fans, big fans of the royals? Yeah, I guess so, yeah. They want to see Harry and Meghan get hitched. They want a gate crash. They want to get in there.

Sips is the king, obviously, so they're there to see the prince. That's right, yeah. No, it was really surprising like normally i go places and you know i'm just no nobody nobody knows who i am and stuff and that's that's fine you know like it's it's pretty cool but it's nice to bump into people who recognize you as well but i just couldn't believe how many of them there were it was nuts i guess i guess like most sips fans live in in with in windsor so i think it's a concentration. Yeah, yeah. It's like a Sips commune. If you're looking for like-minded nerds

that you want to spend the rest of your life with, I would recommend moving to Windsor because there's like a... Well, first of all, Windsor's a bit of a small town, right? It's only got like... It's only like 30,000 people live there or something. It's not very big.

No, the castle is big. The castle looks like it could house 30,000 people. It's a tourist spot, really, isn't it? It's a tourist town on the outskirts of Lisbon. It's a picturesque, pretty town with a castle and lots of restaurants and bigger land, I guess, and other stuff. Last time we did a Triforce podcast, we talked about homeless people at length. Well, Windsor.

There ain't none in Windsor. No, there's tons. There's fucking tons. Yeah, all outside the castle. I guess they just figure, oh, well well this is where all the tourists are so yeah i'm just gonna set up my makeshift bed in this bus shelter and swear a lot in front of kids and stuff and yeah it was oh boy yeah it was really good well i remember the one thing i remember about windsor was that when i was just starting youtube i went for a job interview at an advertising company in Windsor.

And it was one of these drug... I've told this story, I'm sure, before, but it was one of these drug companies where you had to sell... You had to come up with ideas for selling pharmaceuticals. That sounds exciting. You're feeling down,

how about you stick one of these up your ass and that'll really brighten up your day. Diabetes taking its toll on you. Maybe you need some medication, bitch. Try a Snickers bar. But basically, for the interview, I had to come up with, like, loads of ideas, right, to present them.

So I bought, like, a sketch pad and I divided it into a grid and I drew loads of little ideas. So, for example, I don't know, one of them would be like, are you feeling sluggish today? And it's like a man with the welly boots on. A man looking like a slug. Yeah, exactly. And it's like, wow, you could feel like a million bucks, you know,

with these and it's like new shoes, but they've got the Pills name on them or whatever. Do you know what I and it's like new shoes but they like got the Pills name on them and whatever do you know what I mean that kind of shitty stuff with buckaroo anal spray

and it was it was like this advertising office I've told definitely told this story anyway I went in there to the interview

did you get the job did you get the job no I went in there to the interview and it was like when you said about like the four corner

storyboard thing I thought this guy needs to change his game plan he's never gonna get a job well no it wasn't even four corner story and it was like this about like the four corner storyboard thing i thought this guy needs to change his game plan he's never gonna get well no it wasn't even four corner storyboard it was like literally one piece of paper you had to come up with 30 different ideas on that one piece of paper right for like completely different so all of that effort let me guess they were gonna pay you like 20 grand a year or something no i think it was pretty well paid actually like but i got in there he loved my ideas and he was like all right go in this room with this artist and come up with some more i like that i like that he loved my ideas did get the job

though he loved my ideas so when you you gave them a bunch of ideas then you got an they got an artist to draw a bunch of these ideas this is not a job interview this is not a job interview they're stealing ideas from you that's all it is basically this is what it was. Yeah. I spent like a day coming up with ideas, really good ideas that they really liked. They're pairing up with artists to,

maybe this wasn't even an interview at all now I'm thinking about it. It sounds like it was a big swindle. You guys are changing my fucking mind on this. This is why I tell you

these things. You know what? I think this is actually I should tell you other stuff that's happened in my life. You need to march back in there with your lawyer

and be like. I went round to this celebrity's house and he was telling me I should try his new cocktail ideas. And he gave me a couple of pills. What the fuck are you talking about? He told me my cocktail ideas weren't... I woke up later anyway.

Is this Bill Cosby? You went to Bill Cosby's house? Didn't get the job. You went to Kevin Spacey's cocaine party, I see. I think there's a whole market for companies to do this. You've got an IT problem, you claim there's an interview, get people in, you say, well, the first order of business is to fix this IT issue we've got here. And they think you go, brilliant, sadly you didn't get the job.

That's a fucking great idea. I think that might be what happened. So I spent like two hours with this artist guy coming up with even more ideas, and I thought they were all fine, but he wasn't very good, and he was kind of arguing with me, and I was like,

look, doesn't, you know, we'll just, I'll do what you say. I didn't want to rock the boat, I didn't mean to just met the guy. Anyway,

came back through into like this room with this boss guy, and he was like a Simon Cowell type figure, and he sort of, you know, I sort of presented him my ideas and stuff and he just fucking lost his shit he went completely ape shit he started like fully fully like it was like it was x factor and simon cowell was just going off on one like the um the poor fucking chump who clearly can't sing i was the poor chump who clearly couldn't sing apparently so he just like lambasted me like I've never

experienced in my life and at a certain point I was like I just held up my hand and I was like yeah I'm done and then I walked out and and you know his secretary was like oh I'm so sorry I've never seen anything like this before and I got to Windsor Trade Station I remember just like I saw like a

bin there and I had this like nice sketch pad that I bought and it was like you know I spent a whole like loads of time preparing for this thing and i just like chucked in the fucking bin this is like the start of a movie yeah you were crying you're just like a little tear was forming in your eye yeah you were you looked at your sketch pad and you looked at your sketch pad fantastic ideas had all your ideas on it and then you very slow zoom in on the bin you were just you were just tearing the page out Getting ready to crumple it up And then all of a sudden you feel a hand on your wrist Stopping you at the last minute

And you look up and it was Prince Harry Shaking his head You passed the test Shaking his head knowingly at you He knew you were destined for great things Drink this he said What were you thinking? Those ideas were dreadful. I just

spoke to my friend at the advertising agency. You were disinvited from the wedding? It's like a Jedi montage. Like the ghost of the queen and Prince Charles, Jedi style, are all behind him. They're all there glowing blue. These are frightful ideas, dear boy.

Your ideas were car bumpers. Absolutely dreadful. Get out of my sight. I'd be the worst Jedi ghost ever. That'd be hilarious. Can you imagine that? If you're a Jedi or you're a ninja or something and your ghost buddy is Prince Charles.

I think we should try to sneak in around the back. Prince Charles, you're going to give the game away. Why did I get Chucky for my Jedi ghost? I could have had anyone else. Let's look at some local architecture. Prince Charles, we're here to kill somebody. Come on, I'm going to save you. Forget about it. Have you seen my new range of dutchy original creams?

Come and have a look Fuck me Oh, that would be good I think that's the top of the list for Jedi companions False guys Ghost Jedi companions that I don't want. Oh, Prince Philip, his dad might be even worse. These folks around here look a little dark-skinned to me.

Let's move on. Please, guys, just Prince. Please. Give me a break. Oh, God damn it. Holy crap. Oh, God. So what were you doing, P-Flex?

Go on, tell us about your trip away. In Kernow. Yeah. Went to the Eden Project. Oh, nice. It was all right. Yeah. I mean, I live quite near Kew Gardens,

so we're kind of spoiled for fancy garden centres, honestly. And Kew Gardens is magic. And I think that Eden project is like q gardens for people that haven't been to q gardens so yes you go into these big domes which are very fancy and but the jungle thing is just kind of a lot of paving you walk around there's some plants but none of them are particularly interesting to look at it's quite hot in there and this it's semi it's meant to be kind of educational right so it lays it on real thick the educational stuff like it's telling you about the farmers and their lives and the crops that they grow and stuff whereas q is just like look at this amazing fucking bed of

flowers you're like wow you know what i mean so i felt that was better and there's a thing at the q at um eden project called the core which is like it sounds like the final level of some kind of shooter, but it's not. It's some educational center. And they had it closed because they were renovating it for the summer. Because obviously Easter is, you know, it's busy, but it's not like their big season. The big season is summer. It seems like a dumb time to be doing renovations, but I guess they've got to get ready for the summer at some point. Right, but why not do it over the winter?

Like December or January, those kind of months. Or like now when half term is over and like nobody's going on vacation yeah exactly east of halftime they're like yep the run thing you all really wanted to come here and do is closed i was like oh great so it was okay it was all right i didn't really see it uh at his best i don't think well the first thing i heard about the eden project was i thought it was like some sort of bubble dome where basically they sealed it off from the rest of the world and so i thought for some reason i thought it was a thing where i just thought it was like a bunch of greenhouses i thought it was like a tester for

if like we cut off a little biome from the rest of the world and could survive and it could like live and it was like it was like a little aquarium also it's called a terrarium a terrarium is that what it's called where it's like an enclosed little ecosystem what's it called where it's like that enclosed thing it's like it's like a snow globe but with seals a word of advice okay what never go for a job interview at the eden project you suck at this a globarium whatever it's called right i fucking don't know but it's not that apparently no it's not it's just because of gardens it's just not i think it's just like a botanical garden it's just a garden yeah does it have a dome

it's got a bunch of domes yeah it's okay i mean honestly what's in the dome i've never even been and i know more than you about the eden project so one of the domes one of the domes is like a jungle it's different biomes right so one one one is like the jungle zone it's a bit like it's a bit like a garden center the crystal merged with the crystal maze exactly right so one of them is like the jungle biome one of them is like a mediterranean biome and you just go in and walk around and there's some plants in there and the weird thing is in the italian biome there's a just go in and walk around, and there's some plants in there. And the weird thing is, in the Italian biome, there's a restaurant.

So you're in the middle of this biome, look at these plants, and there's the restaurant. So we had lunch in there. It was very nice. But the weird thing is, do you know what? It brings me to another thing I want to talk about, okay? I mean, Italians love eating, and they like restaurants. So it makes sense that it would be in their bio. There were people that had obviously come to eat at that restaurant, and some of the people that we had lunch with have lunch at that restaurant often like they'll drive to go to that restaurant as if it's like really good so i was expecting it

to be really good it was not really good it was like super average food and very expensive because it's in the even project right so i was tempted to go to the complaints biome and register my distaste but there was not one no no there was no complaints biome no you wanted to certify that they grow their own chips there and stuff i just knocked over a couple of plants on my way out good one did they did they grow their own shit there no so i think some of the stuff they had apparently comes from something but i who the fuck knows they don't go around cutting down plants and serving them to the diners was there an arctic bio no see this there was like as far as i could tell there was just two that sucks there's the mediterranean one and there's the jungle one so that's it sucks that sounds that sounds pretty boring and then there's kind of an outdoorsy one what about a volcano what about a lava bio no no lava bio okay well that

place is no ice biome no lava biome and also that like the stuff outdoors the gardens and things it's all just plants that you can grow real easy in the uk because they have to grow them in the fucking uk so it's like the same shit you see everywhere else yeah it just happens to be quite a few of them but also because it was only april nothing had started growing yet so like i said i didn't think i saw it at its best because a lot of stuff was just like yeah this would be ready in three months i was like oh yeah of course we did kind of come in april the kids enjoyed it though so that's what's that big show every year in the uk and it's like on tv and it's like the flowers and you have a flower show

oh possibly yeah and they turn up and like they've all got big pumpkins and melons that they've been growing all year and whatever. Yeah, like the Horticultural Society show or something. It's always on TV and it always makes me feel just so depressed. Like I don't know why. Every time it's on, like it's meant to be all bright and colorful and like, wow, stuff's all amazing and stuff. And for me, I just feel like, oh like oh man jeez but turn this off quickly i

can't i can't watch this it's a very britishy thing like bake off and and all these you know it's very it puts you with a very sort of mood like when we're to new zealand australia those types of british tv show were very popular because they kind of they kind of exude this cultural feeling of britishness and english. Because they're all competing on very sort of non-competitive things and they're all just being nice to each other. Just like, let's see who can grow a lovely garden and let's see who can

bake a lovely cake. I want to see the great British tee-off and people just have to make a cup of tea. That's probably already in production, PFLAX. And people tune in thinking it's a golf show i might not be able to um to out dunk you on the court but holy shit watch out my geraniums or try this muffin yeah try this muffin yeah yeah for some reason i thought the eden project was some it sounds

like a sci-fi film doesn't it and it and it's i always thought it was something weird but no it's just two big greenhouses one with it fixed fixed at the rainforest environment and one that fixed at the Mediterranean environment. And I guess we did a very similar thing when we went to Singapore. They have this thing called the Gardens by the Bay, which is one of the biggest tourist attractions there. And it's, again, two massive greenhouses, one rainforest, one Mediterranean. And to the people in Asia who come and visit Singapore as a tourist resort, seeing the Mediterranean climate and gardens and stuff there is quite interesting to them because you know the place right that singapore is a rainforest it's a jungle sort of climate and so

you know having the rainforest simulation is almost like a bit weird as well because it's almost like we've got sure we've got you've got a biodome which is simulating all the plants you're growing anyway in here, but it's the same thing with them. But this was on a much, much grander scale, and I think it's relatively new. It was built in the last few years. It was kind of nice, though, to walk around,

but also kind of weird to see how artificial and kind of stripped down the whole thing is. It's really very much managed gardens. Nothing's allowed to grow wild at all every leaf is in its place they keep the bushes trimmed yes well i suppose that is a nice thing yeah um who doesn't like a trim bush i guess the other thing is that because it is this constant fixed um environment like season it's like it's easy for plants to grow there all year round and so you can just keep having the plants flowering and flowering over and over again i guess rather than anything getting like all the leaves falling off and stuff i don't actually i don't know how it

works i'm not no a botanist but i assume that is something to do with it what so so so you went with your family did you pee flax and they today today you like it did you do anything else in cornwall why else did you why did you go down there did you have any um clotted clotted cream scones and that's not something we went for we were in more fishing towns right so mrs f just she loves a fucking holiday that woman right she loves it and she'll she'll take as many holidays as she can we've already got two more holidays planned this year already. Fuck. Cool. So we're going away in May to somewhere in Essex that she's found, which looks nice. I've never been to Essex, really.

I don't think. I've maybe driven through it or I've been there. Whereabouts in Essex? I can't remember the name of the place. But it's nice. Some coastal town. I don't know. Clacton?

No. South End? No, not South End either. I've been to South End to watch some football bournemouth played south end in the fa cup a few years ago uh we lost but anyway um the other thing i'm doing is my dad and his wife go on cruises a lot right not my cup of tea at all never been on a cruise in my life uh never my parents are big into that too yeah it's cruising all the fucking time yeah it's so my dad and his wife get on these cruises and my dad's always telling me about these cruises and i was like yeah and he's

like you should come with us i was like i don't know dude those things are like super expensive and he's like no no we'll pay for it so he's paying for my whole family to go on a cruise with him with him and his wife that's a lot of yayo right that's a lot of cheddar right there i don't know well i i would look into it. Some cruises are pretty cheap, actually. This one's not. This is the Oasis of the Seas. When it was built, it was the biggest cruise liner in the world. It's 6,000 people that it can hold. It's like 17 stories high. It's a town on the sea. And it goes around the Caribbean. We've got like two statero rooms and stuff with little balconies and windows and all the rest of it so it's like it's like a week in florida with my dad and then we're going on a cruise for a week and then we're going home holy shit man

mrs f would still like to book another holiday between those other two well you got a free one right so well yeah but i'm like how many fucking holidays do we need? Like, I hate leaving the house, guys. I hate it. Holidays are the best. Come on. A holiday to me consists of, like, my mornings, recording stuff with you guys, no one else in the house. That's a holiday for me, genuinely. Like, if Mrs. F said I'm taking the kids away for a month,

I'd be like, that is the greatest vacation of all time. I'm just going to get up whenever I want, play fucking video games all day, sit around in my pants, drink a shitload of cider, watch whatever I want on TV, make a big old noise, vacation time. I wouldn't even need to leave the building for a year. If someone said to me, you're going to be in solitary confinement in this office, the office I'm in, they'll give you all the food and everything else that you need, but you cannot leave, I'd be like, bingo, perfect.

I'd miss my kids and my wife, obviously, but it worth it yeah can we just go back one second i mean i've just looked up essex on the map right there's only two coastal towns in essex really claxon south end but also like the other places on the coast are like fruity shit i mean greys gravesend fucking foulness island maldensey, fucking Harwich. These are not particularly nice places. Where are you going? I don't know. She's found a nice place.

I can't remember exactly where it is. Margate. They're going to Margate. No, it's not. That's in Kent. It's an island. It's not Canvey Island, but it's some nice little place in Essex.

Canvey Island's a fucking shithole, dude. No, I'm not going to fucking Canvey Island. Look at this place. It's called Foulness Island. Foulness. Yeah, that's pretty rough down there. That's not something you want. What goes on down there?

There's an island down there called the Island of Gran. Oh, wait, Isle of Grain. All right, that makes more sense. You just get there and say, Hi, dearie. I've been left here for ages it's a whole colony of

grannies our families just dump us here don't come back alright it's Mersey Island we have to feed for ourselves we've almost

won out of Warfare's Originals yeah yeah Jesus we've knitted ourselves a makeshift shelter but I don't know

how long we can live here we can't watch Countdown in three years. They've knitted giant biomes. Come into the tea biome and the cake biome. Right, so go to Colchester and scroll down a bit, and there's Mersey Island. And it's there.

There's like a nature reserve. There's all kinds of... It's nice. It's meant to be really nice. Oh, they're fingering hoe. Yeah. Fing to be really nice oh the fingering hoe yeah fingering hoe nice

fingering hoe these are great great names for places I'll head there in the evening Jesus Christ just popping out the Essex coastline what a fucking

what a fucking choice of holiday I mean you could have gone into if you got up if you got up the coast a bit to like Albrain in Sussex that was much much nicer have you been to kent yes the the garden of

england i lived in kent for two years it is beautiful when you go on family vacations with kids though you end up going to some pretty weird places right like you never you never like go anywhere super duper exciting you always end up going to places where there's going to be stuff for kids to do and they always seem to be around like crappy small towns or in the middle of nowhere somehow or whatever but when when you go on vacation with like your wife and you don't have kids or with your girlfriend you always end up going somewhere kind of cool right like like like traditionally exciting place to go to like you go to like egypt or like i don't know south america or something like that you never go to those places with kids that that sex theme park in the netherlands whoa there's one yeah yeah yeah nice i it's weird like hearing you guys talk about these types of

holidays but it's also super kind of normal right to to do the kind of things that you guys are doing i i feel like i weirdly i know you guys have way more responsibilities than me in terms of like kids and you know like families and just just the complexity of of that right but for me it feels like i don't i'm not like like you said pfax earlier you know you you the dream holiday for you would be just sitting around in your pants, drinking cider, playing video games. I could kind of have the opportunity to do that, but I don't. I feel like I also have a responsibility to kind of keep everything going here.

Yeah, no, of course. I mean, when you say that, you know, you don't have responsibilities the way me and Sips do, I mean, I look after my kids. I make sure Mrs. F is happy, but I don't have people the way me and Sips do. I mean, I look after my kids. I make sure Mrs. F is happy. But I don't have people relying on me to keep a business going so that they don't lose their house or their flat or have to move or whatever. I mean, that's a big responsibility, having people relying on you

and your vision for the business and stuff. I have no doubt at all that that's a lot of responsibility and a lot of stress. That's why I go easy on you. It's tricky sometimes. Yeah. Yeah, because sometimes I feel like I'm sort of forced into doing things that i don't particularly want to do that's why we've hired you some help lewis that's right it's ghost jedi prince charles here to guide you through the tribulations need to offer some advice if you

need any well there's these two old dads who make me turn up every Thursday morning to record this stupid audio thing. I'm a big fan. How do I get out of it? Sorry. One is a big fan. Everyone in Windsor along with me is a big fan of you sips. That one is thing apparently came from Queen Victoria. She was the first queen to ever use that sort of term.

One is not amused. And we this and we that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Apparently came from Queen Victoria. But I think she got it from someone else, but she popularized the whole sort of like the royal. I thought you were talking about the term fan. The royal one and royal we. As in like she was the first fan. And did that come from was it because she threw her fan

at someone or i don't know like that's what i thought you were going for there no no no i was talking about you were talking about the royal we the royal one you know like one one is not amused one one is a bit a bit randy a bit peeved. One is feeling a bit... One is peeved. One is peeved. Sorry, mummy. Pop your clogs already. He must call her mummy.

He must call her mummy. But yeah, probably does. I was thinking about that a little bit because obviously they have their royal family Christmas, don't they? And I read that the Queen... Oh, she used to love playing on the Wii. The Wii games console. Apparently she was a natural at Wii bowling.

Which I found very kind of endearing. They always do that with the super rich, don't they? They always try to come up with something that the poor can relate to. They'll be like oh they they just sit around do nothing all day with all their money that's exactly what i remember eating turkey and play on the wii christmas just like we do i remember when the the week came out you know i had my nan round and she was doing the wee bowling and you know she was getting into it and then my dad was doing the wee table tennis. And he was, you know, you know, you know, like sometimes you have these events where someone who's a bit too old does something a bit too physically active.

Like we used to have a garden in our old place before we moved into Chipping On. Well, family house. And we had this badminton court like set up haphazardly in the garden. It wasn't actually, it was kind of, there wasn't enough space, but it was one of these things. And we had a garden party there for some, like my dad's 65th or something like that. It was a candlelight soiree in your backyard, was it?

Some big do where we invite all the uncles and aunties around. And you just have a big party, and it's kind of in the afternoon on a summer's day. It's nice. Anyway, there were all these ancient old men, about 65 or 70, leaping around, doing these, like, playing badminton. John Major turned up. Yes.

And, you know, just literally, you know, giving themselves. They were all, like, all, like, bent over. Oh, be back, like, by the end of it. You know, they were all, like, hunched over my back like by the end of it you know they were all like hunched over like oh like rubbing their knees and stuff after just doing exercise of a level that they've they're not they've not been used to in 20 years that sometimes happens that people just go over enthusiastic with things like when we did this shoot we were playing flipping swing ball jemba jemba swing? Like we were on the surviving marshoop.

The ball with the rope attached to a post. Yeah. And you had to hit it around the post. They got the swing ball out and suddenly I was like teleported back to when I was 10 years old and I had a swing ball in my garden. Right. And I started, you know, going all, I was like, oh, I'm the swing ball ninja.

And like tried to remember how to play it. And I was obviously completely hopeless. And I just exhausted myself and you know injured myself trying to like you know replicate some childish desire to you know like a trampoline you know you remember you remember trampolining yeah oh what a joy i used to hurt my back all the time on trampolines i think when you were 10 well yeah because you were the hunch that you were yeah but i was like seven feet tall when i was 10 so it was i was prone to it you were just like a long reed just like snapping in the wind it was yeah i remember like every time we'd go to my

friend's house he had a trampoline we went like over to his house for a sleepover and we actually had like a solid five hours on the trampoline. I'd always have like a fucking destroyed back. It's really, but it gives you a really bad like headache as well after too long on the trampoline. Yeah. There's a place near here. It's near Heathrow Airport. That's called something like Bounce or something, you know, clever like that.

It's like a big. Yeah, it's just a whole room full of them. It's a whole fucking warehouse full of trampolines. Yeah. And I mean, we went there for a kid's party it was okay the kids had fun you know they're all sweaty and jumping around and everything's having fun but there's a lot of fucking grown-ups there an awful lot it's like midweek it's like it was like a friday or something and there's all these fucking grown-ups yeah trampolining i'm like what the fuck are you doing with your life this is there's really some parents are really like that though right like i think when i went to the gym when i had my personal trainer he invited me to one of these things he was like oh yeah me and the

lads are going out to the trampolining and i was like what are you eight i mean come on like what i don't understand is like those people i bet they look down on the fact that i'm sitting around playing video games you're on a fucking trampoline friend. Dota is much harder than trampolining. Let me tell you. Let me tell you something. I've been playing Dota for five years and I still suck. If I spent five years on a trampoline, I'd be the best. I'd say... Because you just jump up

and down. I'd say that's more fun, too. Trampolining is not actually fun. No, you just jump. After a while, you're like, well, I've done that. I mean, gravity's doing most of it. I wouldn't mind doing, though. I wouldn't mind going in one of those air tunnel things where the air blasts up and you float in the air. Like, you're kind of like you're skydiving. You know those things? What are they called?

I've never seen that. What's that? Yeah, you have to put a jumpsuit on and some goggles. Oh, right. Then the wind starts, but it blows from underneath you. And then you just sort of like go, you float in the air like on your belly yeah yeah don't you feel like like any of those things i feel like you'd get in it and they'd be like right you five minutes and then it's the ride is over you'd be like okay 30 seconds in you'd be like this is all it's gonna

be for five minutes stuff like yeah stuff like that always reminds me of like of like the prize they get on the apprentice for winning the task. Yeah. Good job, team fucking slam dunk. I've laid on a weekend of swimming in a very small pool. Great. Here you go. There's your very small swimming pool.

They just swim. I've got you a couple of day vouchers to Legoland Windsor. He always says he's laid on. I've laid on. He always puts it that way. You watch it, you notice he always says, right, I've laid on this for you. Laid on.

Is that the place where in America they have the sponsor, though? I'm watching RuPaul's Drag Race, and obviously they have the mini tasks before the maxi challenge or whatever. But they have like all of the prizes for it. Like you've won $1,000 of gift vouchers

from big old dildos.com. I've laid on a couple of XXL pizzas from Tito's Pizzeria for you. Sponsored by Tito's Pizzeria. Guys, enjoy. Any toppings you want for free. Sponsored by Tito's Pizzeria. Guys, enjoy. Any toppings you want for free. Talking about that, I've been listening to some other

podcasts, right? I'm not cheating on us. I'm just listening, seeing what they're up to. That's not cheating. It's scoping out the competition. I'm looking at the competition. What are they doing that we're not doing, Flax? I've got some things. I've got some things I'll tell you. Because we're on Spotify now, right?

Yeah. So we've got to up our fucking game, l we're gonna get paid royalties for every listen so we've got like five repeat if you know if you just go to work and leave us on repeat all day just stick it up there i think that's actually against their terms of service sips you should also i think we'd get about 0.01 cents for doing that i think you have to get like absolutely millions to get like a buck better than 0.00 cents for doing that i think you have to get like absolutely millions to get like a buck better than 0.00 cents lewis yeah he's right lewis look after the 0.0001 cents and the pounds will look after themselves that's right that's right so here's here's one thing that they do first of all they'll have like sponsors and shit so they'll say our sponsor this week is uh you know scott's custard vape juice uh you can get it on the website vape club okay you know you could

do that kind of thing and they pay you money i don't know how much but they pay you money and the other thing they have is in the little down times like when there's a pause or if we're just going oh or someone says something shit like i i say something shit yeah they'll be like bit of music and it'll come back in to the podcast so it's like a little interstitial kind of transition to to keep it fresh and because people like tunes like yeah okay let's try it now everybody just go quiet quick ready all right well we're back. Triforce Podcast.

I hope you enjoyed that little jingle-dingle there that played just then. This week's sponsor. Yeah, big shout-out to our sponsors this week. Big Frank's Butt Plugs. If you like a big butt, go to franks.au. Tito's Dick Piercing as well. That's our other sponsor this week.

If you want to get your dick hole pierced. Doesn't he also do pizza? He does pizza too, yeah. He's so advertised with the apprentices. Tito's pizza and dick piercing. Those are olives on the pizza. They're all gross piercings that have gone wrong. They have to chop the tip off.

They're foreskins that have to be removed. Deceptic and malchus. That's right. So I've been listening to podcasts too so for example I think the typical thing that they have is 30 seconds of ads at the start. So I've got an app called Pocket Cast. So as soon

as I load up the podcast I hit the 30 second skip button and it skips those ads at the start right and then in the middle they are usually required to run like a minute of ads in the middle and so i can again as soon as i know that's coming as soon as the little thing comes i'm like oh get my phone out my pocket hit 30 seconds skip twice there you go and i've missed usually missed like a couple of seconds but honestly like when you listen to audiobook, you don't fucking catch everything anyway. Fuck it. So, you know, I never have to really listen to ads. But occasionally I catch the intros and outros of some of them.

And so I've been listening to the Vox podcast, like Today Explained. And it's kind of, okay, first of all, it's a bit depressing. Well, so is the Triforce podcast. I mean, yeah. Let me explain a couple of things to you, right? So all i have this on my phone okay i have a samsung galaxy s8 phone and it has this news thing on it you called let's give a round of applause for big dick phone haver over here let's just talk about the i've never how much is my first just say my phone are you gonna say what it is well, because I moved from Apple to Android

about three or four months ago, and I've had this thing on my phone since I got it, and everyone must have this as well, because anyone who's got this phone, it's a really common phone, it's Android, so everyone must have this. There's a thing called Upday or whatever that gives me, like, fucking news, right?

Not got it. Occasionally. Sometimes it's on the front of my screen, and it gives me like a news notification and i said i tried to turn it off right but i couldn't fucking figure out how to turn it off and so i ended up having to google it and turn off its notifications the reason i wanted to turn off the notifications because they were always very stressful news notifications like breaking news missiles fired from north korea kind of like seriously like spooky messages and like and and stuff like you know donald trump executes major missile attack on syria russia war blah blah blah right like terrifying stuff like i was like fuck this like

i don't want to hear this like stressful shit like it was really kind of it was really kind of making making me like like i kind of but the way it was the headlines were so sensationalized that they didn't really that it kind of your brain jumped to the worst and the news has a habit of doing this and and in order to to provoke be clickbaity and youtube has a massive problem with clickbait at the moment we We can talk about that if you want, because that's quite interesting to talk about. You know, it's literally like, for example, there's a lot of people who are like, have you heard about strip Fortnite, for example?

No. Tell me more. So there's like, one of the biggest things on YouTube at the moment is strip Fortnite, where it's like kids playing Fortnite, but they've got their girlfriend or sister stripping off clothes every time they get a kill. Oh, shit. Googling right now. Oh, she's good looking.

Is that actually a thing? It's millions and millions and millions of views. Like tens of hundreds of millions of views. Wait, how old are these people who are stripping off? They're not kids. They're teenagers. But often they even do that to even make it even more clickbaity so for example some people aren't even doing that they're just it's just a clickbait title so the clickbait title is strip fortnite with my 13 year old sister right and

find the real ones though that's what i want to know i want to find a real stripper where's the good shit yeah it's a real problem this the world of clickbait that we live in and youtube has got this massive issue with it and it's it's it's pretty disgusting it's only a problem if you're an if you're an idiot and you click on all that stuff i've never fucking clicked on any of that shit because i don't want to watch any of that shit the problem is that it's a negative spiral right where everything is everything has to be clickbait because only clickbait gets the views and therefore everyone starts making their videos be more clickbait and then the trending just be is full of clickbait where it's like none of the

titles actually respect are anything to do with anything in the video people are just clicking on random suckers but that drives people away from youtube though because it's like so negative every time you click on a video it's YouTube there's not going to be fucking nudity or anything on YouTube right like who cares why is anybody clicking on this stuff but that's part of the problem though that YouTube love

this kind of shitty stuff though like Logan Paul YouTube loved him all the people in the office of YouTube love him the kind of people who work in YouTube like this stuff. They usually hate gaming, they hate like other stuff, so they want vloggers, they want like, they want dead bodies hanging in forests because it's dramatic and it's trending and it's newsworthy. They like it. They don't like us not liking it. Bastards! Fuck you, YouTube!

Seriously. Anyway. Wait, I'm just watching one of these strip Fortnite videos, right? Right. One kill. This one's in German. Ein kill equals ein Kleidungsstock ausheizen mit meiner Freundin. This is by the Shinken Brothers. Alright, so this girl at the start of the strip. Hold on. She's not wearing just jeans and a

top. She's wearing, and I'm not even exaggerating, a coat, a scarf, a headband, a a jumper and she's like she takes off the headband she takes off the scarf one of the strip things she takes off her fucking watch what kind of strip is this that is a youtube strip my friend that's what happens because they can't show off any of the goods right like they'll just get the video be flagged or removed straight away so what's the point in clicking on it but i think they end up with cleavage you know they end up with like something that you know we used to have a problem with like the boob the boob titty ladies just do

that big old thumbnail cleavage again look there's a there's a whole wealth of free porn that you can watch elsewhere on the internet i know why are you why are you looking at tits on YouTube for fuck's sake? Because people can't fucking help themselves. You know what it's like? You're a dad on your own with a cider and your wife's gone away for a month and you can do whatever you want. Yeah, there's a beautiful place called RedTube

on the internet. What did you say it's called? RedTube. RapeTube? No, RedTube! I didn't say Ra tube god i thought you said rape tube oh for fuck's sakes i was like damn so dark anyway i've been listening to this fucking podcast and it's it's it's again like i've had to stop listening to it already because first of all even though i'm skipping the adverts they are driving me fucking nuts so they advertise it is so garbage though it's all like made up garbage

isn't it they make it seem like it's a bigger deal than it is or a bigger thing than it even is i bet you most people don't even fucking click that shit like this like youtube views and stuff there's always been controversy around like view bots and stuff as well i don't think that it's as big as anyone says it is i i don't believe it for a second so no well i don't think that it's as big as anyone says it is i i don't believe it for a second so no fox fox is good like it's not does it doesn't feel clickbaity it doesn't feel it's kind of the whole idea of the podcast is that it's kind of going to explain the stories of today and i can talk to actual experts about stuff so so for example like um some of them are really interesting some of them i'm not so interested in because

they're very it's a very america-centric thing about a lot of america's problems with with you know for example like drug stuff like specific court cases the police brutality like each each kind of episode is quite well tailored and it's it's very modern podcast in a world where news media you know like for example they did this one great podcast where they were talking about how there's this hedge fund that owns like a hundred of the local newspapers in america for example and and right as there is and john oliver did a great segment as well if you if you don't watch last week tonight it's like my favorite show he did a really great segment about how local news is just being controlled but or gobbled up by did you see that video big media companies and homogenized but that one where all the the local news stations that were owned by one i can't remember the name gobbled up by big media companies and homogenized.

But that one with all the local news stations that were owned by one, I can't remember the name of the company that owns it, Sinclair or something. Yes, that's the same one. They all put out this one message. It's corrupting our democracy or something like that. The exact same message. The FBI have a grudge against the president. It's just unbelievable. That was how the news story opened on like 100 channels.

It's kind of like a very biased problem. Anywayx is great not biased that's not biased there's a difference between biased which is where you you buy the the times or the guardian or the telegraph or the mail based on your political slant i understand bias everybody that buys a paper understands that they're buying one that generally agrees with their point of view. And the commentator is the editorial of the paper, not the reporting. The reporting should be fact based. But the editorial element of the paper where someone has an article like you get some fucking twat saying why everybody should be deported unless they were born specifically in, you know, only the big cities of England. If you were born in the rural past you should be excised

blah you know that kind of just absolute bollocks that they that they say all hateful stuff yeah yeah in any paper or that everybody with any money more than a tenner should give it all to the nearest homeless person we should all just be living you know agrarian lifestyles so that editorial is deeply biased but there's a difference between biased and literally being a mouthpiece for a government. Regardless of what political slant you are, the news should be separate. And the fact that it now isn't, that is a big fucking problem. Because a lot of people do not do anything other than turn on the news and go, huh, that must be the truth or it wouldn't be on TV.

A lot of people do that. Yeah. And that's the problem. And clickbait doesn't help and sensation doesn't help. And the problem is that, you know, it even seems to encroach into things that should be protected, like the BBC, because the BBC ends up reporting, recruiting reporters and people who've worked in places

like the Daily Mail, for example, or other things. And so as a result, they come from these backgrounds where they have to hit these targets and, and to, to survive, you know, and everything has to, has to make money. Um,

so anyway, I, the Vox podcast today, I quite, I actually really quite liked it. I listened to a whole bunch and, but the one thing I wanted to talk about really wasn't the quality of the report,

because I think it's pretty good is more the, um, the adverts, right? So they have these fucking adverts for for toothbrushes right and i'm not gonna say the brand but the way they do it is is the most awful cringeworthy ad like thing ever your teeth are yellow they need a clean get this toothbrush i guess i guess what they've done is they've they've they've had to do the same they've had

to advertise this toothbrush for a whole month. So for 30 podcasts, it's like them still advertising this toothbrush. And it's like, oh, it's like rough because they've kind of run out of creative ways to do it. And so they're basically like ringing up a guy. They're like, hey, Jeff. It's like, hey, I know you're not at work today. No, I'm not at work. But you run the sports desk here at Fox.

Oh, yeah, yeah. So do you use these toothbrushes? No, no, I just use a regular old toothbrush. Oh, have you ever considered this toothbrush? Not really. It's like, well, sorry to bother you on your day off, but maybe you should try this toothbrush. Okay, bye.

Stop calling me at home. Man, I think if I had to advertise anything, I would do it like that. Like, you know, like how they did in the 80s when they were advertising, like, kids, don't climb into a fridge at the dump. These fridges are unsafe and you will die. And you have that music in the background. I think everything should be advertised like that. Like even a toothbrush. Right.

Your teeth are all mangled and moldy and they look like shit. It's time to give them a good brush or you'll die. That'd be great. So is it that? Is this like a serious... In a serious way. But even that I think is like a modern form of clickbait. Or like an older form of clickbait, you know, in a sense. Like it that i think is like a modern form of clickbait is like an older form

of clickbait you know in a sense like it's kind of like yeah it kind of it shocks you into stuff that you shouldn't do purchasing a toothbrush yeah yeah i don't know i think that's i think that's like not a good thing to have no but i mean the thing is like when you try to think of ways to advertise products like holy shit i mean fuck man i i don't want to sell a toothbrush so like you got to find a way that is fun it's fun for you to do it and i think scaring people is fun so that's the route i would take do you want to have good performance at work why not try meth it's fucking fantastic for your brain do you want to you want to have good performance at work why not try meth and use our new trampolining?

Fucking, this makes the blood rush right to your head. Great thinking. What would we advertise? I mean, I guess we could advertise vape juices, but... And do you actually want to advertise vape juices? Like, I don't really, like... No. I don't really want to advertise anything.

No. I just want people to like the podcast and give us money. That's it. But this is kind of like part of where my links to what I said earlier, in a sense, because I sometimes see that the company that we have, the Yorkscast, it's not the most popular thing in the world. It used to be a lot bigger, you know, but as a result, like we,

but we also have a lot of expensive, we have a big office here, a lot of people to support and stuff and do a lot of things that cost money. And so when it comes to doing these brand deals, I kind of feel like sometimes I'm actually really comfortable with the ones we've done. Like,

you know, the surviving Mars challenge and stuff. We talked, I talked to mention that. Yeah. Surviving Mars is like, is, is a pretty good game too. It's not, it's not terrible. It not terrible it's it was an okay game yeah i didn't mind promoting it a good

a good company yeah we like the company yeah and i like the we like the company and we they they pretty much said you know go ahead and promote us however you want and so we did we went out and filmed this thing and it was fun i think it was good for everyone right i think i think like it did feel like we we always wrestle with this like the brand sponsorship the adverts like selling out stuff and i think that the way vox has done it is pretty hands-off obviously they they're like they just like go ahead and do it how you want and i think it's okay uh i don't think it's like it doesn't make me stop listening to the podcast particularly it's more they it's more the news that's so depressing that fucking makes me not listen but no there's there's definitely degrees of selling out isn't there

like if i if i do a sponsored thing like i i want to make sure that what i'm sponsoring is something that i i like and i can wholeheartedly recommend and not not not ever sort of like second guess yeah i mean like i think terps said to me that you know anything blizzard he'll just drop his anything he's doing for blizzard just he'll kill he's unfortunately his terps weakness is blizzard though as well like when terps goes out to do stuff for for people at like games at blizzard at gamescom or wherever he kind of works his ass off and and always ends up feeling like really kind of frustrated like though because they kind of don't like i think he recorded like hours and hours of funny stuff at gamescom and then

it went away for approval and they they let they they said oh can you redo it he was like i've done loads of funny skits i've come up with loads of funny i've spent weeks preparing this because i love blizzard i've come up with loads of stuff blizzard are huge though and they have a lot of people like you know, combing through this stuff in fine detail to make sure that none of it is offensive or goes against their ethos. What was that great phrase, though, that a camel is a horse made by a committee or whatever?

Like, too many cooks swore the broth. And camels are fucking awesome. What are you talking about? Man, they're not awesome. They are grumpy. They spit on people. Yeah, but a camel, they're not awesome they are grumpy they spit on people yeah but a camel they're not meant to be subservient to us humps aren't even full of water it doesn't matter i'm not saying that i'm not saying that stuff that is hand that's made

by a large group of people is not is not good but i think that sometimes that you sometimes like for example we did this this i don't know if we can really talk about we did a blizzard blizzard brand deal recently and it went off for approval. And they sent back pages and pages of changes. And then they sent back pages and pages more of changes. And then pages and pages more of changes. And at a certain point, I just threw my hands up and was like, this is fucking ridiculous. The things they're asking for are are mad um and are completely unnecessary like you

know blurring out twitch on a t-shirt you know yeah and it's like what like jimmy and so and it's obviously not it's just someone is worried about something and and they're more worried about i could i could see i could see it from like an advertising exec's point of view though as well that that they they don't want to lose their job over you know something that they ostensibly approved you know um and so they're being super super careful the problem with any big company is that nobody really knows what is the right decision i mean it's not you know i don't think it's even necessarily about a committee because you can have a committee that designs something really well right like a rocket or something like that like i'm sure it wasn't two guys that designed the mission yeah i think i feel like there's like a bunch of guys right i feel like a committee

might be a good thing in in a lot of cases because you have other people to reign others but the difference is if you have a committee of people sitting around going we've got to come up with something they're like well jesus we can't hand that up to head office or can we no we can't let's let's not let's not take a chance that with somebody won't like this and blah blah won't like that so they play it ultra fucking safe that's the thing i i can i can completely see that and honestly like when terps is a gamescom wearing a blizzard t-shirt representing blizzard they've got a they've got to be very very careful and stuff and sensitive around this stuff and i get it i get it like but i think when it's on our channel and when it's in our voice and when we're doing a video i i don't want it i want i want them to say hey make a good video to promote this thing you know and we'll be like okay here's what we

think's good um and and if they come back with changes we'll be like well here's why we don't think any of these changes should be made because it's this is our thing yeah um whereas you know sometimes you don't get that and and every time that happens so every time someone comes to me and says oh you know this is we're sponsoring this video therefore you need to change this i instantly am like i'm gonna fight my hardest not to make it yeah i mean if they want it to be a very very very specific way without your voice but basically their voice why don't they make the fucking video like seriously that's called an advert go for it if you if you're paying someone else to make a video using i mean you've obviously watched this stuff we're like okay we like your guy's stuff.

We like your sense of humor or your style. So we're going to ask you to make a video. If these are the things you could cover, that would be great. But you don't go in and micromanage it because you may as well do it yourself at that point. But that's how it all works, though. Like, you know, like when David Beckham is promoting Gillette or like Ronaldo is promoting Pepsi or whatever, you you know like they just get them in their faces they know that they're going to attract like audiences that like these people um and they they have to say very specific things they can't do anything and and whatever and like blizzard are very big

established company they have a lot to lose if it goes wrong you know what i mean like but david beckham doesn't have a style he's just a guy like yeah david could you kick this football over there yeah no problem i'll do it right now you know that's it yeah i mean but it's not like david beckham is like man that's not my style i tend to speak french when i do advertising you know he's not got a unique thing to him he's just a guy he could be any footballer when you're doing like uh advertising advertising for a product or a game or whatever, you're never going to have that much creative freedom. Right, but you're in their advert. That's the point.

So he's in an advert made by Gillette. That's what you're signing up for, though. Right, but if Gillette said to someone else, we'd like you to make an advert featuring our product, go nuts. And then they turn around and say, wait a minute, where's David Beckham? You'd be like, well, this isn't the fucking David Beckham advert. If you want the David Beck beckham equally it's like you know the point is that you know we we edit a video around like and so there's like this long-running joke throughout the whole video and they say okay

this this one this one can't can't be in it and you're like well okay if i have to cut this joke out i actually also have to cut out the setup for that joke I have to cut out the the repeated joke of it at the end or else it doesn't work so okay you want me to cut out this 10 seconds I'm gonna have to cut out 30 seconds or maybe a minute um of funny stuff and you know I'm not really happy doing that but I'll do it and then they come back with more changes like like the twitch blurring out the twitch t-shirt or blurring out things like that or even like one of the things they wanted was um and I'm not even sure if it's blizzard or like an advertising company but one of the things they said was like oh yeah you can't say tesco and we were like what do you mean the super we can't say tesco and they were

like yeah can you re-record it to say supermarket and i'm like yeah do you know what we can we could just go and go back out with everyone get them all dressed up again you know go out back what do you what do you mean could we go out no it's like it's just some of some of it's just madness though i think i think the thing with us is that not we don't script anything and i you know i think with when when people do like a big you're like when we did this brand deal recently like i'll try not to like talk about too much because i don't know how much we're allowed to say or whatever but like the people that we were working with their their side was very very scripted wasn't it like they were reading

off scripts they had almost like storyboards for everything that they were going to do and stuff and i think a lot of that stuff was pre-approved so they wouldn't run into these problems where it's like right can you go back and re-record professional is what you're saying yeah we turn up in our in our hoodies and and just start talking about whatever we talk about and stuff. And then, of course, they're going to come back and say, can you not talk about Hitler and can you re-record the bit where you talk about Hitler and stuff? Because it's always going to be that way, right? Especially a big company. A small company that doesn't have like anything to lose.

This is their first game. Nobody knows about them or whatever. Well, sure, yeah. They don't mind if we're going to make Hitler jokes and stuff like that because they're just glad for the publicity. They're glad that we're plugging their game or whatever, but a big company like Blizzard, they can't do it like that. They're right to do it.

I know what you mean. It's kind of shitty, but there's no other way to be really when you're that big. Because again, they just have so much to lose. I guess sometimes the people i want to work with the most i guess are the most difficult to work with because they're so protective of their stuff and i get it i get it anyway when we did the um when me and chirps went out to do the escape room thing again like you know everybody that that was doing stuff that like presenting and stuff all that was like

it's scripted and and vetted and and ready to go sort of thing and then it's it's easy because it was a live event if we said anything or whatever i guess they could just cut it out after or just like try to try to like rein us in at the time or whatever but there was never an opportunity for us to just ramble on about something or anything anyway. So there's nothing to worry about. I guess the point is that if a sponsored video is going out on our platform, it should be in our voice. And I feel very strongly that we swear. I'm not going to bleep swearing on your brand deal video. Do you know what I mean?

No. Because you don't like it or whatever. That's not how it works. You're on our platform to our audience. They expect a certain thing. So those types of sponsorships where it's like, yeah, we'll pay you X amount if you make three gameplay videos, I don't think they mind that sort of thing.

Blizzard don't tend to sort of do those kind of deals, but other companies do. And they'll just say, you just need to make three videos promoting this new game just play play through it like for how long you would play in a normal video or whatever just do your thing and that's enough and they're and they're happy with that because they know that they're they're reaching your audience that way right like and and it's on your platform and these people might be people that have never heard of them before never played their games before,

and all of a sudden they've got new interest, and they've got new sales or whatever. And that works. Those are pretty good ones to do. But Blizzard don't do those, right? No. It has to be more bespoke, I think. Yeah, and these things that we're doing, it's on our platform, sure,

but these are big sort of like scripted event things or whatever without any scripting so like i don't know i think we're kind of silly to complain about it when we should i'm not really complaining i'm just sort of musing on on it really because it is something which we i'm i'm concerned about i don't i don't like doing sellouty stuff, right? And I never have. But sometimes I feel like it's good money. I just love money so much. I love money. But on the flip side, I actually legitimately have never,

not that I can remember recently, done something for a brand deal for something which I genuinely didn't like. So for example example recently we played skyforge which is like an mmo that i played a bunch of like about a year ago or whatever just for no reason they tried to sponsor us and help us out on the jingle jam and offered to give us loads and loads of stuff we ended up not putting it in because we thought it would be a bit kind of um because all of their games are free to play right and so it would only have just been like

stuff in the free to play games like stuff that was worth quite a bit but it felt i wasn't quite sure what to do with free-to-play stuff in the jingle jam last year and how it fits in i'm still i'm still trying to figure it out it's one of the things i talked a lot about with people at gdc like how do we make it so it doesn't feel like just a sunday newspaper with tons of adverts shoved in you know know. Yeah, that's a tough one. Anyway, these are all things to think about. But no, we don't need the money that bad. But I think it's hard to turn stuff down if we like it.

Well, yeah, you don't ever want to turn stuff down if you like it because not only are you doing something around something you like, but it opens up doors for further opportunities too, right? Like, especially if you do like a good job or whatever, they'll come back to you and be like, hey, the next expansion is going to come out. Let's do more. And you're like, yeah, great.

You know, I'm glad to be on board with these people and helping do stuff or promoting a game that I actually like. And that's a really good spot to be in for sure. Yeah, that's the big thing for me. If it's something I like, I'm happy to do it. But if it's not i'm not going to do it just just to do it yeah yeah anyway i don't really like doing it no me neither and i wish that somebody would pay me to to sort of you know sit through this shit god well you'll be glad to know our new uh sponsor tito's trampolining is opening a new branch near you. Bob's Ass Spray.

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shout out to Tito nice right that's the that's our podcast everyone we're gonna end it here I think

and we'll see you next week hopefully are you guys around next week? Fucking A. Yeah. Fucking A.

Fucking A, bro. We have one more week, then we've got to go to Seattle. But yes, we'll see you in a week's time. Thanks for tuning in, everyone. Goodbye, guys. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye.