Triforce! - Triforce! #91: Masters of Conspiracy

Episode Date: February 20, 2019

Triforce! Episode 91! You've heard about the Big Pharmas ruining our lives but we're here to tell you about the BIG DENTISTS and the BIG ROOTS. THEY'RE HERE, AND THEY'RE REAL. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the Triforce podcast with me, Lewis. That's right. Coming at you from Bristol and also joined by sips hey how you doing oh i'm pretty good uh also his co-star timmy co-host terry co-host this oh yeah yeah terry i forgot about terry yeah i'm ready it's my my number one man terry and pflax currently pooping in his food bowl i'm not pooping in my food bowl. That sentence was a run on. Came out this morning. And P-Flax, who's currently pooping in his food bowl.

I am not pooping in a food bowl. I saw a comment from last week's. Yeah, I'm looking at a picture of Molly Ringwald. Gives me good energy in the morning. Amazing. So we need to start the way start our um start the day right you know some people like a bowl of porridge i just like a picture of molly off you know like to just you know knock one out let me tell you she she wears a pink jumper in uh in the breakfast

club and uh ever since uh i saw the movie many years ago i've been in love with with women in pink jumpers especially if they're fluffy and they're low-cut right i'm not trying to be creepy i'm just pointing it out that's your thing comes across as a bit creepy but at the same time i know exactly what you mean how's it creepy i like boobs you're not allowed to comment on uh on on on how you like uh how you you sexually prefer a uh a member of the opposite sex like it is sure. There's no way that it doesn't sound creepy. You know what I mean? I don't think it does.

It always comes across a little bit creepy. Well, then call me creepy. They call me Mr. Creepy. They call me Mr. Creepy. It sounds so nice when it's sung. Yeah. So last week, your wife sent you out to keep the kids occupied yeah and you came home with high heels for a three-year-old an air fryer two haunted lamps

and well actually uh i don't know if you guys read read it but man i was i ever told that it was not an air fryer under no geez that guy was livid that guy was oh right holy shit like he was you know those you know you know like you picture a guy who's just like on a steady diet of hot dogs only and doesn't really go outside much and maybe just spends too much time reading Reddit and stuff like that. So me or you. Me or you. Yeah. But, but the difference is. I had a vegan hot dog yesterday.

I would never, I would never like put the slam down on somebody for getting such a, like a like a such a such a thing wrong you know it says air fryer so i just thought it was an air fryer i didn't really look into it uh beyond that because uh it doesn't really have like that huge of an effect on my life like i don't you know is it is it an air fryer is it not i don't care i just want to eat food like yeah it doesn't really matter yeah he was cross he was very cross but no i mean that that guy was very angry about it also got a lot of lol comments at your request which i thought was good to see people listening what made me what interested me was the number of people that commented was far more than as usual on reddit for any of the triforce podcasts so there are lots of people out there listening but they just ain't posting on reddit which i

respect greatly i respect our listeners even more now yeah knowing that most of them stay away from social media yeah they just chill they're just listening and chilling a lot of people say that this always warms the cockles of my old heart this old man's heart breaks a little more when he hears this every time people saying the triforce podcast gets me through the working day shout out to the grinders out there working and grinding what about those people that the Triforce gets them through long car journeys as well I like that you know I like yeah picture this somebody right now probably like in America or something is on a long road trip they're driving to see like their their nan in California or something and they're not from California they're in their car and they're just listening to Triforce. You know,

they're just driving down the highway. It's stark, kind of creepy night, you know, like there's probably a wolf howling in the background and stuff, but they've just got Triforce on full blast. And what are we talking about? Probably poop or dicks or maybe chocolate milk or whatever,

but they're, yeah, they might see like a guy on the sidewalk. Maybe it's Mr. Creepy. Here's what I would like to, I have a request. I have a request for all our listeners. You might see like a guy on the sidewalk. Maybe it's Mr. Creepy. Maybe it's Mr. Creepy. Here's what I would like to, I have a request.

I have a request for all our listeners. Next time, when you're listening to this podcast, this week's podcast, which will obviously be next week, wherever you be, take a picture of your surroundings. Yeah.

And tweet them at me or Sips. Yeah. Or both of us. You're all three of us. Tweet them at all three of us. That's the next challenge. We've done the wall. I want a picture. Yeah.

So I want a picture if you're at work, your desk. Yes. If you're driving, driving be very careful get a passenger to take a photograph yes do it yourself if you don't need to put yourself in the picture either if you are a submarine captain i want a picture of the bottom of the ocean if you are on the moon listening to this i want a picture of a crater pictures please you don't have to include yourself in the picture unless unless you're like a really sweaty hunk or you got like big gazongas or whatever you know like yeah if you're wearing a pink jumper molly ringwald style yes uh then please do uh tweet a picture uh holding like the diet coke guy with no shirt on and he's got like a moist chest you know

like his chest is glistening because he's been like uh i don't know washing windows or whatever the diet coke guy used to do yes spoogeying windows what are they called what he was doing to the windows oh that's i think spooging was a very different advert if the women were going oh my god there's a guy jerking off on a window and they're all like like, whoa, cool. Is that how he gets them so shiny? Wow. Look at him coming on that fucking window. That's so hot. He's jizzing. I can do that to my gazonkas anytime.

It always makes me laugh when they have those hunk calendars, and they'll always be like your firefighters and your policemen and your army dude and all the rest of it, and then some dude holding a baby. And I'm thinking, this is clearly women who haven't got kids by that calendar because if there's one thing not sexy it's a fucking baby and because you see the baby you think oh god it's gonna start crying it's gonna interrupt us halfway through it's gonna be a disaster there's no way having a baby in the in the frame at all implies sex it's ridiculous it doesn't imply sex but it's very very related

though isn't it like you know the baby itself sexy baby the formula it's in the same formula but but the baby is the result of people feeling sexy about each other at some point in time no it's very close no it's not sexy no it's it's cute it does have relation it's very cute it's like um you see these these calendars of cute things right and some occasionally for some reason there's like a dad holding his baby and he's got baby soft skin he's all naked right but he's like they're both holding the baby in a way where it's like not sexy right you see with women too like a like a woman holding their newborn baby and they've got like a load of back skin on show and the baby's back skin's there as

well and it's all pink and soft and and you know and they're all like cute and beautiful pictures the image there's nothing sexy about those no no there isn't but when you've got a hair brush out all of like the like the dried up milk and Right, but you've got a hunk calendar. The calendar is all sexy firefighter, sexy police officer. Yeah, it always is men in uniform, isn't it? How does that fit into the same scenario? Like I'm saying, if you have children, you know that they are just an obstacle. It may be their net result.

Lewis is correct. We don't find babies sexy, but does a woman find a dad with a young boy sexy? Yes, let us know if you find babies sexy. Let us know. We'll be compiling a list and we'll be passing that list on to the police as well. So please, write in and let us know if you find babies sexy. We're going to be doing society a favor by locking you up eventually i was uh i was watching a documentary on netflix uh i got partly through it and then i had to stop

watching because it was so nuts it's called abducted in plain sight oh fuck oh god okay yeah yeah yeah i watched a bit of that don't even talk about it i don't want to hear it's so nuts i hate that it's insane it's like you know that scene in minority report when tom cruise is showing off to his kid in the pool and he goes down, holds his breath. He's like, look, I can hold my breath for a minute. And then he gets back up and he's like, Timmy, Timmy. And he's just been abducted. Well, this is very different.

This is very different in that they know the guy. He befriends them, abducts their daughter and takes her to mexico where he marries her and she's she's 12 yeah okay my god and he then calls up and says uh i can't come back because i'll be arrested they get him in mexico they bring him back to the us and the parents are like well we don't want to press charges subsequently the mother has a an affair with this guy and the father gives him a hand job at some point like this is the craziest story you've ever heard in your life and the father's like crying when he's telling the story and everything he the guy literally manipulated this family who were very fucking gullible and stupid to be quite honest with sweet people but my god if your friend says

man i'm feeling horny can you help me out here i've got a raging boner jerk me off you'd say no this is this is like i will not i think you're confused flax these are some of the side stories for the next um season of game of thrones oh did i watch a preview is that what you watched a preview by accident yeah so you probably saw um samwise the wolf giving uh giving someone a hand job giving the mountain a hand job at one point and stuff like that yeah god it's just crazy man it's crazy it's a crazy fucking thing really that is nuts holy crap um i also had a small bit of bad news this week which you may have seen on reddit i don't know it was the top thread on our Dota. I calibrated. My party MMR for Dota calibrated,

and it is embarrassingly low. What do you think? How? How? What do you mean how? No, listen. So Enthused and Jacob were telling me about this yesterday. We were playing some Apex,

and they were like, oh yeah, he calibrated his Guardian. And I, for some reason, wasn't paying attention, because normally I'm very attentive. I wasn't paying attention because normally i'm like very attentive i wasn't paying much attention i thought they were talking about csgo because i know like there's like um rankings and stuff in csgo but i'm not sure like what they're called i haven't played it enough sort of thing right right so i was like oh yeah you know like maybe he's not that great at csgo or whatever like that's not like super surprising better at csgo

than i am at dota at the moment and then they're like oh no it's no it's for dota and i was like whoa what dota and jacob's like yeah i know i've only played the game for like 200 hours and uh he's like the same same rank as me i honestly i played a lot of party q that's generally what i play and i just it didn't occur to me that these were calibration matches. It really didn't. So I'm playing with any lads I can find in the morning when I'm streaming. Let me tell you something. I play with some utter shitters. Yeah, absolutely dreadful players.

I'm not blaming them. All right. They're trying their best. I'm trying my best. Apparently, I'm not good enough to carry their ass. Fair enough. What happened? What happened to like the like the golden stack, like the like the month?

I'll tell you. I'll Plague? I'll tell you. I'll tell you exactly what happened. They're all busy, I guess, right? I never see any of them around anymore. Plague's at university. Bob's at university. Cine has a full-time job, obviously. And Munt now got a job and he's moved to Germany.

So during the day, I have to hoover up what I can get. And some of these lads, bless them, they're just not good at video games. Yeah, it's pretty funny so the games are hilarious i have a great time but of course the thread on reddit was covered in people saying this is why he shouldn't be invited to events and i was like wow that's harsh i don't think you need to be like uh again like going back to the guy who sits in his basement his mom's basement eating hot dogs all day and playing video games all day i don't think you need to be that guy to get invited to events like you're you got personality you're a good commentator and stuff like that i think that they're inviting

people who don't fucking play you know what's better like someone who actually fucking plays the game or someone who who they bring in just because he's a well-known name who doesn't play the game anymore is into the game anymore like a a lot of the people, you know, when I watch, it feels like they're clueless. Or somebody who plays the game a lot is good at the game, but is just a fucking devoid of personality like many gamers are. I still find it amazing that it's still going. Who would you rather listen to? But look, talk about Apex.

You know, that's toppled Fortnite this last week. It's had 10 days higher than Fortnite on Twitch. You know, how the mighty have fallen. I mean, Fortnite's not going anywhere, don't get me wrong, but Leo was telling me a story on Saturday

about how she went into game. You know, the game, the shop in the high street? Oh my God. And they have these like attached cyber cafe. They're just like

cobwebs like all over the place and like just like, like all the, all the game boxes are like old and greasy they got grease spots on them and stuff like and and um so there's loads of kids in there playing fortnite on these it's like they have like these cyber cafes now and they've got quite a lot of them around the country there's one well done in bristol and um yeah so you can like rent a pc for

like five pound an hour and um just play games on it and so there's these like five kids in there playing fortnite in a stack, you know. And they're shouting at each other. And she's like, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. These are like kids and they're like yelling, for fuck's sake, Jordan, you missed that fucking loot crate, you prick, like this, you know. And I'm like, oh my God,

this is like me playing fucking party Dota with Pyrrhon, you know. We talk like that. I know. Like each other, you know. It's competitive gaming. Unbelievable that kids might repeat the shit that they listen to all day while watching like some guys streaming right yeah that that's what it is right i don't know but culture that they're in now apex legends has come out you guys

been playing it all week it's it's this thing where i think it's bridged the gap people are bored of sick of pub g and looking for something new and fortnite players are you know thinking fortnite's got this reputation of being a kid's game you know we need to like get off this stuff you know it's it's kind of not cool to to play fortnite i think anything where lots of little kids are playing it immediately becomes uncool right it does but it's still it's still hugely popular and the people who make money off of it are very successful as well so there's that side of it like i mean if you're sure it's a kid's game but like if you're fucking becoming a millionaire from

playing it you're probably not gonna rub you that hard is it more power to you absolutely so i heard that they like paid a bunch of streamers to like switch over to apex for a day and then it sort of just pushed everyone over why didn't they pay me i'm a well-known fortnite yeah they didn't invite me to that twitch rivals thing either i was like you know i was wondering i've you know i do a lot of good moves and good shots and stuff and like i guess they just didn't recognize that maybe twitch rivals it's like uh you know they get like all these like streamers together and it's like a tournament it's kind of like they did one for uh what did they do one for recently they did an apex one oh and they had one for dota chess recently as

well which i wasn't invited to either i play that game sometimes like you're good at that fuck well obviously not good enough to be on twitch rivals so i don't know i don't know whose dick i need to suck but if somebody could directly direct me to the dick the dick, I will suck it, please. Direct me to that dick, I'll get on it. Jeez, but I mean, Christ. Give a guy a chance. Are you allowed in with your Guardian 7 level plays, Sips? Have you got any kills in Apex? Well, you know what?

I haven't been on Twitch Rivals, but to be fair, Twitch did do that farming sim thing plug for me, so I can't complain too much. Twitch Rivals farming sim. They twitch that i'm really good at farming simulator at least um so there is that but i mean anyway i don't know so anyway what you guys be doing this week have you done anything fun done anything in real life i i uh i i went in to my kids school yesterday and i helped them cook they have cooking classes on a wednesday right and me and another parent went in

we had to we had to take a group of six kids to the school kitchen i had to prepare a recipe i had to get all the ingredients together show them how to cook it they cooked it and then they go back to class and then i brought another group of six did the same thing and then we take whatever we cooked to the classroom and the kids will get a bit. Okay. So bread, beans, microwave, beans on toast. Job done. Sounds delicious. Then I can be back home playing games again.

Very tempting. But instead I did, I made them, I got them to make pizza. Okay. So they all made little pizzas and it was very successful. The kids loved it. They really loved it.

I got them to each put them on individually on a conveyor belt. And the end of the conveyor belt was my open mouth. It was great. It was honestly, it was great fun. And I would urge any parents out there who had the chance to go in and help out at your school. Because seeing the kids in that environment, it's very different. And you learn a lot from the way the teachers talk to them. They have all these little rituals and routines. Like if a teacher has something important to say,

she claps three times. And all the other kids have to go. And if you don't clap, you're in trouble. So they all clap. It's sort of like getting them all to listen. So when she claps three times, they all clap three times and they're all listening.

That's crazy. Because I think that's how Hitler used to start all of his rallies too. I remember, yeah. Did he also make them say thank you to we want to say thank you to Mr. Goebbels for his wonderful speech thank you Mr. Goebbels

see you next Wednesday which is what they said thank you children thank you for the pizza it was very nice oh my god Mr. Creepy I've got some important news.

Well, it's not important. I don't even think it's interesting, actually. So I don't really believe in New Year's resolutions. It's neither important nor interesting. No, it's not. But I'm going to say it anyway. Typical Triforce podcast material, then. I'm going to say it anyway.

I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. I usually don't have one or whatever. And I know that this might seem like it's possibly a New Year's resolution, albeit like a kind of a dumb one. But it's not. It's nothing to do with the New Year or anything. I just want to put that out there before I start explaining what I've been doing recently. So I set out recently in the past month or whatever. I took a look at Spotify one day and I thought, you know what?

Fuck, all I do is listen to these random ass songs. I don't even know what album they come from. You know, they're all often recommended and you can see that they're like listened to a lot by people on Spotify or whatever. And they're, you know, normally big singles or big hits from bands or whatever. And I was like, I'm sick of this. I want to listen to like a full album. Like there's so many albums out there that I've never listened to fully. You know, a lot of albums that were that were created in like the 60s and the 70s and stuff you know they by bands who were sort of known as like you know studio album bands like where like the album is very coherent and it has something to do with all the other songs or whatever and it's like an experience

listening to it and there was a sides and b sides and stuff big diverse range of music yeah yeah don't you from like from like nirvana to like snoop dogg and fucking everything in between well like even like even in even like so i so i started by saying i want to listen to classic rock albums because i know a lot of classic rock singles that have been played on the radio or whatever but i've never listened to these albums fully and And a lot of them are rated like, like highly by, you know, music critics and stuff as being like super influential or, or just, you know, just off the wall, insanely good or whatever. So I got a list and I started sort of working my way through it. And then I roped in some of my, um, my Canadian high school friends to, to do like almost like a book club But it's like We listen to albums instead

Right And then talk about it So like we So what we've been doing Is we've been listening We've been picking an album Listening to it fully Like three or four times

Over the course of like A day or two And just sort of trying to like This sounds fucking amazing Because sometimes you listen to an album And it's like I don't like this Like I can't

It doesn't gel with me But if you listen to it Four or five times You're like Oh shit you know actually some of these songs i'm starting to recognize they're catchy i can appreciate this like it sounds really good the lyrics are nice or whatever um so we've just been going through like this process of like listening to these albums so i like the cymbals i like yeah and then like but then you start like you start looking into it a little bit more and you find out that there's all these interesting stories behind recording the albums often involving like bathtubs full of cocaine and stuff like that excellent and and but like you know

sometimes they they have like these like unorthodox method methods for like recording certain things like uh i think we were listening to rumors by fleetwood mac the whole album there's a song in that where some of the drumming is done on a chair, like just like hands on a chair, slapping a chair sort of thing. But you can't, they change the sound around a little bit. So you can't immediately tell that that's what it is. But then if you listen closely, like, oh shit, yeah, he is actually slapping a chair. Oh yeah, that's definitely a chair.

I recognize that. Just things like that, right? It's kind of cool. So the albums I've done so far i did a couple by myself before i hope i hooked my friends in for this book club album club thing but the albums i did by myself uh to begin with was i wanted to listen to some beatles albums because i you know it's like whatever i've heard a lot of beatles songs never listen that's a great place to start yeah so i so i listened to abby Road and I loved it. I never even knew that half of these songs existed on this album,

but I'd heard most of them just through TV and stuff. You know, they always use like tunes, Beatles songs and tunes and commercials and, you know, on documentaries or whatever. So I listened to Abbey Road and then I moved on to Sgt. Pepper and the White Albums. I listened to all those fully a couple of times, really enjoyed them. Some of them I went back to and listened to again. And then once I got my friends roped in, we did Led Zeppelin II, which was amazing.

Really, really good. We listened to that a bunch of times. Do you take recommendations or are you like the guy who decides who's picking the albums? No, you take recommendations, but we sort of decided as a group that some albums and artists

are going to be just too much of a slog. And that maybe we're not up for doing it. But we're up for a challenge anyway, so we'll see. So sometimes we'll take an easy one where it's like, yeah, everybody sort of knows this album. Everybody likes this artist. We'll just chill and enjoy this. And then right now is a bit of a challenging one. We're listening to Armed Forces by Elvis Costello,

which is good, but I can only handle so much Costello. You're going back way in the fucking past here. Yeah, and we also did, like I said, Rumors by Fleetwood Mac, which is an excellent album as well. And then stuff that we're going to be listening to in the future future that we've already talked about like springsteen uh prince probably like talking heads uh but like not just rock we'll probably move into like some pop stuff as well like we'll probably need to listen to like an rem album at some point like daft punk and stuff like that but yeah it's just to just to try to like immerse ourselves into these albums i just thought it was like like an interesting thing to do you know like a little side thing

you know you're walking somewhere you can listen to an album or like you're putting your kids to bed just put an album on i'm confused are you new to the idea of listening to them to music or is it is it not something you normally do no i've always i've always listened to lots of music but like i said i've just been ruined like with like technology with spotify and stuff you know with playlists of like you know top hits or whatever there's all these songs just put an album no not not like recently like i used to buy albums back when you know that's all you could do but like since since the internet and spotify and like napster and all that kind of stuff like no i have never really listened to like i've never listened to a new album like it's insane that's the thing like i

think it's difficult it's not like books right if you had a book club then someone is in that book club is saying okay we're all going to read this book this week and it's something that none of you have ever read right yeah whereas if you're if you're picking yourself a book you will go to a shop and be like i'll pick this off but something i've never read but in with music it's a bit different because you'll you'll think oh i will listen to something i know or that i'm i i've already listened to yeah you want to listen to stuff that you're comfortable listening to but you and even if you don't you won't often as you get older you'll you'll there'll be a a broader pool of shit you've listened to and you'll be like man i liked all of this stuff i'm gonna listen to

yeah fucking pink floyd today i'm gonna listen to like well that's another one we're dreading pink floyd i'd like i've never really listened to a lot of pink floyd and neither are my friends but we all we all sort of like just assume that it's very boring but highly rated like i think dark side of the moon it like appears on many like top 50 lists as like number one rock album and stuff so i i listen to a whole bunch of stuff i listen to a lot of albums a lot of new albums and there is some amazing music out there and it depresses me when people say oh they don't make good music anymore if you yeah well i i i truly believe that because i don't listen to any new music. It's just, it's so wrong. And people saying music was better in the past is the stupidest fucking statement.

And it pisses me off when I hear people say it. Because they're like, oh, it's all rubbish on the radio now. Did you listen to the radio in the 80s? Because I did. And it was mostly shit. Same for the 70s. Same for the 60s. It was mostly shit.

The good stuff is the stuff that stood the test of time and is still around but you're ignoring 99 of the stuff that went out watch top of the pops which they show again on like uk gold or whatever they rerun top of the pop some sometimes from like 1983 you look at that top 40 and you fucking tell me music was better in the 80s because there is a whole river of shit and we've just forgotten most of it and we're just listening to the good stuff so shut the fuck up sorry next topic well anyway um that that's me though like i i say that a lot about music because i don't listen to any new music so i just assume that it's bad like i i just assume

i haven't heard anybody talking about how great new music is. So it must just be bad. So who are you talking to about it? Like, it's just people like me who only listen to old music. Yeah, people, people talk to their friends. I mean, this honestly, there's so much good new music out there. There has been, there always has been. So this is hopefully going to, this process is going to help us appreciate older music, but inevitably it is going to get us into newer music.

Sounds awesome. It's fun. It's been really fun, actually. It's just a nice, like into newer music sounds awesome it's fun it's been really fun actually it's just a nice like like i said it's a nice thing to just do on the side like um and it's you know it's not not necessarily like playing a game or something like that like you know sometimes i'm just putting my son to bed and i'll just have like this album playing in the background just like fall asleep and stuff it's nice it's really good yeah i like i think that's the difficulty for me like honestly like so i i wake up and um my whole day is is kind of struggling struggling to fit music in like i'm i was trying to get alexa to like fucking

like turn into like a clock radio to actually play music when i wake up and stuff but she's hopeless fucking fuck me can't you just ask her no it doesn't it's like i want it to be like an alarm you know it doesn't do that you're telling me this new piece of technology doesn't have the ability of a fucking alarm clock a clock radio no it probably does but the problem i'm finding with it now i don't know if you guys have noticed this is that like i because i've got it integrated into spotify um i think there's like some fuckery going on in spotify where like it's like almost like youtube with like seo or whatever there's like bands and albums that are somehow placing themselves even though they're not popular or the original band or album that you're looking

for they're like cover bands and stuff that get played before the original artist like if you ask her to to play it and stuff i don't know if you've come across this at all but like it's just people gaming it isn't it it's like you ask them to play something and someone will name something i don't want to hear you know a spanish beatles cover band play a cover song of you know just play the original that's all i'm after like and i i don't want to think about it too hard either if i'm just doing the dishes or whatever just play the fucking song and do it right you can say alexa wake me up to brackets song name by brackets artist at brackets time so you could say alexa wake me up to wake me up before you go go by wham at 8 a.m right all right you can do that yeah but but i don't want it to i hope you're

all listening to this very loud right now in the same room as your Alexa that's going to be great I don't want to have to necessarily pick anyway

thank you everyone so anyway like then I'm in the shower and like I'm having I'm getting some breakfast and maybe I'll be able to listen to a bit of music in that sort of

like chunk of time but then the thing is like at work and I'm always listening to a like podcast on the way on the work and i'm always listening to a like podcast or like on the way on the walk-in i'm always listening to some sort of podcast or something occasionally i listen to music i i guess when we're streaming or when we're recording like it

used to be back in the very early days that we could put copyright music into stuff but nowadays not really no some streamers do like listen to the radio and have like a remix um like an album going don't they? I sometimes do. When I was playing Farming Simulator, I was listening to copyright music. So I tend to not have that. I don't know. I just don't listen to as much music as I used to, and I miss it.

Definitely miss it. I guess I'm the opposite, though, in a sense. I'm very much of the idea that there's people out there today making more music than ever some of it's really amazing I just don't know about it and occasionally what I'll do is I'll get like a top recommended um like the best albums of the year and I'll just make it into a big playlist on Spotify so I've got like one for 2017 and one for 2018 and I'll occasionally just like have a look through and then you know I can copy all the albums and listen through you know the albums can copy all the albums and listen through, you know, the albums.

And they're all totally mental, different genres. But I don't know if I really enjoy it. I don't, I've never really taken any of them from that and thought, damn, this is an amazing album. I'm not someone who can recommend you an album, for example. Like I don't, I'm really like, I wish I was into music more. I guess I never did it,

not quite into it very much at school. I feel fairly ignorant about it. said i respect it guys guys there's a bit of drama going on in my back garden right now okay thank god for that it's all right i'm rescuing from this conversation um sorry i'm just fucking jesus christ you just went silent i just sort of fucking barreled on i'm gonna i'm gonna change the topic for you lulu all right we got a bird table a couple years ago right it's been very popular with the local birds all right what kind of the guy any bush tits back there or blue blue tits what are those birds that are called tits there's like bush tits blue there's great great tits pepperoni tits there's

pepperonis tits pancake tits yeah they're all there all the tits all the tits are back there nice we get a big bag of bird seed uh in classical triforce style i have of course told this story before we get a huge bag of bird seed feed the birds all right i've got like a table with little hoose on top like a gazebo i've talked about it they can go and feed in there got a little hanger for the wee birds and it's great i put peanuts out and everything there are some squirrels all right they come in when they're eating the birds all wait the squirrel fucks off when he's full this squirrel is the fattest fucking squirrel you've ever seen by the way he's been eating seeds and nuts all fucking winter at my on my dime but i'm doing it because you've got to support local

wildlife okay this motherfucker next door okay has also net subsequently now bought a bird table i can see it from my office window and the birds are eaten from his fucking table all right i'm livid i'm furious this is like competition all right now his bird table brings all the birds to the yard what about mine mine's there's a couple of fucking pigeons staring at it that's it i'm gonna have to poison that bird seed on his table so it's one up to you is that what we're saying he's got a very big very fancy bird table i'm gonna have to go bigger and i'm gonna have to get a squirrel proof one so that the birds are guaranteed food because otherwise what happens is i fill it up the squirrel is there within five minutes eats the lot so then i'm gonna fill it up again but the birds are sort of gone and they've stuffed their bellies

at this next door's bird table what am i gonna do about this i'm thinking if i poison his bird table the birds will learn i'll i'll force evolution the squirrels have access to his bird table they do you need like a gimmick or something you need like i need a usp you need a usp yeah you're right squirrel proof you get like get some little umbrellas out there for some alfresco oh wait hang on a second it's already get some like um man how do you this is why i can't open a restaurant i mean i i don't even know where to start with all this stuff it's a problem it's a huge problem for me it's a problem any suggestions let me know my dream was to open up my own restaurant but i don't have any ideas for a usp i think if i squirrel proof it that'll do i don't think i need to go down the road of poisoning his bird table and then i figured

all the birds that go and eat there will die how do you and all the ones that don't it's like evolved forced behavioral evolution the ones that don't go to his garden will come to mine but then i figure like you know that's kind of the opposite of my mission of saving local birds so also you gotta you gotta help the wildlife the the insect wildlife because it's going to be dead in 100 years i read that article yeah which is london biodiversity i'm surprised there's anything still like breathing i know man i was watching that back to the topic of the uh five billion pound sewer pipe. Big problem in London is wet wipes going into the sewage system and coming out onto the banks of the Thames.

It's not just that. They get stuck in the pipes with the fatbergs. So they sort of form a blockage. Then all the fatbergs have time to freeze and then the pipes are like fucked. So yeah, it's a big problem. The wet wipes would help wipe it all down. You guys saw that documentary about the uh about the solidified fat that flows around that floats around in the sewers too right it's like these big like fatbergs it's like they

float around in the sewer it's like the fat just goes like all hard and clumps up and there's you know fatberg yeah there's like fucking car tires and shit stuck in there and stuff it's crazy see the problem over here is so we have those we have that problem with fat too because after i kill the prostitutes normally i blend them up in a blender and then i flush flush their gooey remains down the toilet wouldn't they be really skinny most of the prostitutes i've seen are like ultra skinny because of all the crack yeah it's volume though i mean i'm doing like 10 a day so there's lots of yeah there's just here we are three men sitting around joking about the murder of prostitutes it does happen guys it's a real problem how do you deal with the yeah the teeth 2019 i'm still joking about murdering prostitutes

because that's that's how they always get you right they find teeth on like i never understood why they just grind them up or bash them with a hammer like just prostitutes are so uh so very often off the grid though like they don't have dental records and stuff so yeah no it's a big it's a big like that is the the one of the reasons they get targeted is because it's very very hard to trace but when it comes to teeth you've got a body right presumably you've got time on your hands because you're a murderer most murderers don't have busy days you know that's how they fell into this lark in the first place i'm thinking couldn't you just get all the skin off get all the bones in a pile and just smush them up with a hammer especially the teeth you know what i mean like i just don't see it as being beyond the ken of man to dispose of a body

it must be possible it's hard though like uh i don't know i don't know if you've like looked into it much but it's really hard to burn a body too like you have i'm sure it would be almost impossible the smell alone would draw people well that too but you can't just like put them in a fire pit and they're gonna you know there has to be a very intense consistent heat over a long period of time and stuff like it's it's insane trust me you could do it actually like fairly easy experience but yeah it won't like the teeth i don't know they're tough like i guess like it's this thing where you see these like skeletons that are like completely right away and yet they've got like a perfect set of pearly white teeth and you're like fucking fucking teeth yeah but in real life you know all of your teeth are like full of holes yeah i'm alive and well

and my teeth are like fucking yellow and crooked and so i think i drink too much tea maybe or like something's staying in them i don't know how much tea you're drinking on it on the daily what's your average tea three three cups wow it's not bad so i tell you what i watched on netflix going back all the way back to shit shit on netflix there's some i watched this documentary that just cropped up because i was just like tabbing through stuff while i was playing games and i watched this documentary called root cause right which when i looked it up afterwards it had like a rating of like one one out of five or like two out of ten or something and it was like oh fuck me i don't know why even if i'd known that i wouldn't have left it on kind of thing right but it was about this like guy who had

like some like chronic fatigue or something he was basically like a bit tired and he was like i tried everything i've tried parachuting. He was from Australia. Sorry. From Australia. I tried parachuting. I tried yoga. I went and had my chi cleansed. I had my butt waxed. I had like

an old witch shoved a finger down on both of my ear holes and fiddled with my central meridian lines. Anyway, he went through all this shit and he found out that actually he had, like, when he was younger, he had, like, a root canal

on his, like, front two teeth, right? Because he'd been punched in the face or something and he had a root canal. Which is when, like, you... The tooth's basically dead, but you kind of leave it there because it's a real fucking ball ache to get it, like, pulled out. Because there's not really that many alternatives,

and the alternatives aren't really that great. You know, you get, like, a screwed in, a fake tooth screwed into your bone. Anyway, he basically put down all of his health problems to root canals and basically condemned root canals. And so the day later, I was in the office, and Duncan was like, oh, I'm going to have a root canal tomorrow. And I was like, oh, you don't want to do that, Duncan. I watched this documentary last night about root canals. And so the day later, I was in the office, and Duncan was like, oh, I'm going to have a root canal tomorrow. And I was like, oh, you don't want to do that, Duncan. I watched this documentary last night about root canals being bad.

And he was like, what? But they do like millions of them. And I was like, actually, do you know what? Like, they do do millions of them. And I looked it up, and I realized that I had been taken in by this fucking bollocks. Yeah, well, that's why you can't trust the system, man. That's why.

They're doing these root canals. They're purposely making people tired so that they spend more money. They buy more stuff at Christmas. And it's just the man fucking you again. Again. Big Coca-Cola. Yeah, that's right. Big dentistry is screwing this country over.

Big dentistry. They're always out there doing these unnecessary root canals. How do you know you even need one sure your tooth is in pain or whatever but like christ you might not even need a root canal and there you are getting one and then they got you exactly where they want you all tired and flustered and you feel like you feel like giving up and you know sometimes you just want to go where everybody knows your name and they always sound the same and stuff, but you want to go where people see the problems are all the same.

You want to go where everybody knows your name. You know what I'm saying? Yes. They should have had to know what I'm saying to the end of that song. No, no. Honestly. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

They really should have done. So, no no i totally felt like a fucking sucker like like i felt like those kind of guys who dream when the 9-11 there was that documentary that that plane documentary about um their famous one about 9-11 being like a big hoax and oh yeah the with the metal beams and melting yeah i can't remember what it was called but it was quite popular at the time. Zeitgeist. Was it like the, something like that? It was that one, I think. There's a bunch of other stuff.

There's like an internet documentary. Global conspiracy stuff. And someone had watched it, and they were talking to me about it, and I was like, what? This doesn't seem right. No. Come on.

And they were like, no, I watched a documentary about it. I was like, and I felt like, oh, fuck. I just felt like such a dangus. Yeah. And it felt like, no, I watched a documentary about it. I was like, and I felt like, oh fuck, I just felt like such a dangus. Yeah. And it felt like, felt like I'd been tricked by Netflix,

I don't know. Yeah. Like, because I was just recommended it, like, because I watch all these other stuff about,

I watch a lot of documentaries on there, mostly about murders and stuff, but, you know, I was just, I just thought,

oh, yeah, this looks interesting. And then it sucked. And then I was swayed by it yeah you thought about it you you were watching it and you felt angry at the time and you're just like this is fucking bullshit and i don't believe this at all yeah and then you went away and you couldn't stop thinking about it and then it got its hold on you and corrupted your brain and now there was bits of

it that i sort of were bullshit and i saw them at the time i was like you know they were like red flags germany going them at the time. I was like, you know, there were like red flags, do you know what I mean, going off at the time. Yeah. I was like, that seems like bullshit. Big sirens, yeah. Turns out that 96% of breast cancers are caused by root canals, and that just went over my head, and I was like, oh, okay, cool. Yeah.

That seems a bit weird, but maybe people, do you know what I mean, like for some reason that didn't actually. I think it's like, you know, we're sort of accustomed to believing things that we read right like you you you look up information before the internet even you looked up information in like an encyclopedia or you read something in a magazine or a newspaper or whatever and it felt it felt legit right like it felt almost official and you believe it yeah um and now at the internet it's the it's the same you're reading something and you believe it. Yeah. And now with the internet, it's the same. You're reading

something and you think, I'm reading this, so it must be true and it must be legit. But with the internet, and I mean, even with magazines and stuff like that, you know, who's writing this stuff? Like, do they know what they're talking about necessarily? Are they just writing it? Like, or are they insane or whatever? So like, now that it's easier to put together a documentary, like you look at stuff that's on YouTube or whatever, and it's very easy to put that across as something to be believed and as legit or whatever, but a lot of this stuff is just bullshit. I don't think you should believe anything you read.

I don't think you should believe anything you watch either. I think you should trust your gut instinct. Look up to the sky and study the stars for guidance and um just go to where everybody knows your name you know what i'm saying and you should be fine yeah i i think one of the biggest problems we've got is that people don't believe anybody else anymore and i was wondering i think it's the opposite flax i think people are too ready to believe everything that they read nobody believes anybody dumb nobody believes anybody that's the problem that we have lost all trust in each other uh which is weird because we should be more trusting of each other but we're not we're less we are far less i think you're exactly right because if you think about it you you can say you're an expert right you can say i've studied this for 25 years i'm an expert this is the case and people will

say oh yeah what's in it for you i don't believe this guy i'm gonna believe a meme i saw on facebook yeah well it's because trust is a two-way street and memes never let you down so you're you know you're you're always gonna believe the meme look at this fucking anti-vaccine thing going around right this is getting a real there's a political party in italy that is about anti-vax that is an anti-vax party right all right that's a fucking issue like you're literally turning back one of the greatest advances in in science in terms of saving people's lives people have forgotten how bad infant mortality rates were even 150 200 years ago if you go to any cemetery you will see so many graves which are like family graves it's like the mom the dad and like eight kids are buried there and most of those kids died before the age of 10 so it's so grim it's super

super grim yeah and i mean that's not just that out and now people are saying oh no it's poisonous and there is no science why people care so much let them let them let them do what they want to do no you can't let them do it and then they'll die then bringing back things like measles in a big fucking way there are now measles outbreaks where kids are dying or losing their sight because of some idiots saw some shit on Facebook and believed this. So people will believe the wrong people and they'll ignore all fucking sense. I mean, at the end of all of it, he will judge us. And if he deems that those decisions, the anti-vaxxers to be stupid, they're going straight to H-E double hockey sticks.

I'm sorry. That's all there is to it. I stand by that. I think that's all there is to it. It is tough like you know i think when science butts up against ideology you can end up with some real problems like because back in the uh i remember back in the sort of 50s there was this problem in soviet russia wasn't there where the geneticists were all put in the gulags because it didn't it didn't gel with the soviet ideology that you know that there were there was this there was this guy called uh trofim lisenko who kind of came up with

this idea that that seeds were stronger if they had their brother seeds next to them and if they worked together and so he made all the soviets plant all their seeds sort of together and it ended up with this massive famine which then you know that that ideology was picked up by china i think like 30 million people died and this was like yeah fucking 60 or 70 years ago yeah like this is not a fucking distant past this is the ideology causing yeah like massive well i'm sure there were other things involved and it's not just that but but it was a big part of him denying science and going up against governments going up with science this has happened before and it's gonna happen again because it's happening right now lewis yeah people don't think climate

change is a real thing people don't give a shit about the biggest threat to our life on this plan they just don't care and they're sick of hearing about it's the same with fucking brexit everybody's sick of hearing about it so you've got all with fucking Brexit. Everybody's sick of hearing about it. So you've got all these problems. People don't trust anybody. The news never shuts the fuck up. It's on all the fucking time, and people get weary of important topics real fucking fast.

And they go, oh, I'm fucking sick of it. Just get on with it. And that's what they want. Like Mrs. F the other day, bless her, she said, oh, I'm sick of hearing about Brexit. Just whatever's going to happen, just get on with it. It's like someone telling you for two years,

we're going to have to pull your tooth out with that anesthetic. It's going to really hurt. We're going to have to pull it. And every five minutes they're telling you, just like, just fucking get it over with. Just yank the tooth out. I don't care anymore. That's where we're at.

People are just sick to death of hearing about all the problems and the news because it's on five fucking times an hour. It's by design though. I bet you this was all, it's by design. They created this gigantic shit clown fiesta on purpose so that everybody would concentrate on this and ignore all of the other dumb shit that the Tories do on the side. Do you know who's to blame?

Fucking big dentistry. Yeah, I think big dentistry has a lot to do with this, actually, with those root canals. They're just hoping that, you know, They're just hoping that people will never find a place where everybody knows their name get so depressed we're just gonna have to eat a load of sugar and all of our teeth are gonna fall out and they're gonna have all the fucking root canals that's right we don't want anyone having any canals yeah never they're so they're so dedicated to root as well that they don't want you to eat any non-root vegetables or anything.

They're just like, you know what? Maybe it's big root. No more fun. All you can eat is potatoes. You're right. It's not about big dentistry. It's big root. It's a big conspiracy.

They want us to eat root vegetables. That's big root. There's a brand called Roots in Canada, which is like their front as well. That's how they launder all the money they get all of these soccer mums to get all of these big big fucking oversized sweaters cut with roots on the front of it and um that's that's how they do it yeah look at the character groot right groot was invented to popularize big you remove the g and what do you have yeah but also my case

big root big root big root there you go we just invented a fucking conspiracy it's that easy spread that shit around big root don't eat root vegetables don't have root canals don't watch guardians of the galaxy it's all part yeah and don't forget screenshots of where you listen to the triforce this week if you even bothered to listen to it this one's been a bad one i wouldn't blame you if you didn't but if you did decide to take the plunge and listen to it we want pictures of uh the space that you listen to it in and please no pictures of creepy dungeons or jsa or whatever we have some we have some we do have some standards we got some things to think about first of all we're closing in fast on our 100th episode lads we need to start thinking about what

we're going to do for the big 100. We did the 100 already, didn't we? No, we didn't. We're on like 90 or something. We've got a few weeks yet, but we need to think about it. It needs to be special. Should we do like a jingle or something? We should have like a nice jingle. We could do some harmonies. Maybe we should write a song.

All this talk of music is getting my juices flowing. We could do a special Triforce song. Do you guys know how to play any instruments? Skin flute. That's flax covered then. My juice is flowing. We could do a special Triforce song. Do you guys know how to play any instruments? No. Skin flute. Okay. That's flax covered then. What about you, Lewis?

How are we going to... I suppose it's like a drum beat, I guess. Yeah, you could do a drum beat. Can you do any percussion on your chest with your hands or on a chair or something like that? We'll think of something. We'll think of something. Just some rough percussion. It's uh a lot of people have been telling me that we should have a patreon for for triforce yeah like i've been getting tweets do you think people

would pay money for that though but i don't know what the tiered rewards would be i think they might if we people could just give whatever there's a responsibility involved too it would mean that we have to do a podcast anyway true we'll put a fucking disclaimer that even if we have patreon you pay that doesn't mean we have to do the fucking trifles podcast we're gonna keep doing it we'll do something when and where we can and uh we can have a tiered reward where we give people a shout out now and then how about that we can have a special shout out patreon shout out no i like keeping it free i like keeping it free that's a lot of effort though no shout out all right then if we keep it ad free we. I like keeping it ad-free. That's a lot of effort, though. No shout-outs. Yeah, but all right, then.

If we keep it ad-free, we have to do some shit like Patreon. I want money. I need money. All right. That's a bit too much effort. All right. P-Facts. All right.

Thanks, everyone, for listening. We'll see you all next week. All right. All right. Give us money. Thanks a lot. Bye. See you later.

Bye. Money.