Triforce! - Triforce! #96: My Favourite Fanfic

Episode Date: April 3, 2019

Triforce! Episode 96! Lewis went to GDC while reading some of his favourite Harry Potter fanfics! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Please play responsibly. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the Triforce podcast. Welcome with me. We're back. And also PFLAGS. Yeah. And also Sips. Yeah.

How are you guys doing? Oh, great. I'm all rested up. We had a week off because you were gone. You took that opportunity just to have a sleep, have a snooze. That's right. Yeah. I slept in on the day that we would normally.

No, I didn't. And I took the day off. We got down to business. Yeah, we got real busy. We got down to business. What did we do, actually? We didn't even stream, actually. Well, I did.

Yeah, you did, yeah. Business, business, business. We've been struggling. We've been struggling. I mean, me and Sips get along great. Like, you know, we have a laugh when whenever we meet up i always enjoy his company but unfortunately we have serious disagreements about what games are good yeah what we enjoy playing like there's just a world of difference between the games that i

play and the games of sips play so i know that there will be games that come along we both love playing but we just there just isn't one at the moment that we're both into because we're both i think the kind of people are going to be like nah you know what i mean like we could just suck it up i could just play apex legends and just just deal with it but i just don't enjoy it like sometimes there's only two games to play and i went to gdc last week that's why there was no podcast um and i saw about 200 games that haven't come out yet and there's so many cool interesting indies and so many fun little things and so many different things coming out that are really innovative. And I had a really great time, honestly.

And I think it's because I've not really been to one of these things. I didn't go to E3. I didn't really pay attention to Gamescom, what was coming out. I kind of did my own thing. And as a result, didn't really any any vision of what's being made i don't really you know if someone says well what game you excited for this year i'm like uh cyberpunk like like i don't really have any and also you know it's it's it's tough to um sometimes find a game that's that's playable for a long period of time with your friends. You know, something

that lasts for long enough but also you can get its hooks into you and you know I've been playing The Division 2 this week and I've obviously played it a few hours and I've got a level 9 character or whatever so if someone wants to come along and play with me they have to make a level 1

and then we're at different levels and then it's really easy for me and it's hard for them. Yeah, the scaling in that game doesn't work very well either i played with somebody who was a couple levels higher than me and everything was just one-shotting me like it was frustrating i mean it's probably all right now like maybe they fixed it it's it's actually a decent game but man i don't know like i either i'm getting older there's just nothing like that grayed out right now like i mean i like apex, like, I can't remember the last time I was excited for a AAA game. Like, they always seem pretty disappointing when they come out. I don't know.

It's weird, isn't it? It's just weird. This is why Hatfields are playing Monopoly and Game of Life. We played Cluedo. Yeah, that was awesome, actually. That was really fun. That was actually surprisingly fun, but my God, Cluedo. Yeah. We was awesome, actually. That was actually surprisingly fun. But my God, Cluedo.

We were like, how does this work again? We couldn't really remember the rules. I think that's kind of the right mantra, though, to just play something different once. But it's tough. I think the reason that these things work is because you know them, right? You know Monopoly, you know Cluedo, you know these things vaguely. I think when some game comes along and it's called something weird

you're like am I going to like it am I going to hate it and it's a little bit like with Today I Played which is the Interpsys thing where we try and play a different game every day

some of them I play it for half an hour and I'm like this game fucking sucks and I thought it was going to be amazing and now I don't know what to do with myself

and sometimes you play a game for an hour and then you stay up until two in the morning playing it and it's great you know and you know so i think that it's tough that's a little bit like like life you know sometimes you don't know what that was going to be like until you try it and you know don't be scared to try new things within reason yeah you know what you were saying about

the division couldn't they just have a scaling in where if you're going to level with party with someone lower level than you it says everything's going to be scaled back by a certain amount as if you had level two well i think it's meant to work that way but it doesn't always feel like it works that way i think this is the system was was designed to to to be something like that where you know you jump in with somebody who's like a much higher character level than you and either you scale up to them or they scaled somehow down to you or whatever and it evens out. But I don't know, like the one time I tried it,

the bad guys seemed like vastly over tuned for where I was at and I was just getting one shot every time I saw somebody. I feel like that is unfortunately the game though. As I was playing it, you know, I found that it felt like you had to headshot a guy four times in order to kill them and that feels to me like a weird yeah thing in a in in a kind of in the setting of an army style shooter right yeah i feel like a headshot should just be you're

dead like i don't want to shoot a dude in the head four times to kill him like it that doesn't make any sense to me but i mean whatever you know what i mean it's just like fucking we can complain about this shit the state of games until we're blue in the face like they're just like it feels like they're just getting worse though like the garbage that just like it trends with them and stuff like that i don't know be careful not to just turn into a grumpy old man though because that's my fear that that's the but the the that's like what's happening to me that i'm just becoming grumpy and angry i don't know i think i think i think like i think a lot of people would probably agree if you said something like

games are these days i mean it's generalizing but like you know like think of the games that you play on the regular flax the games you play on the regular are games that are like 10 years old right like they've been out for a long time. Like what has come out recently that has really been like, in recent memory for us, playing together as like a group of friends, probably PUBG, right?

That was the last time we were all, or maybe Rust. Yeah, we played a lot of Rust. The revival of Rust sort of thing. But you know what I mean? It's really rare that something comes out that's just like, fuck, this is awesome. They they nailed it like everything's perfect it's super fun i can't stop playing it i just want to play it all the time sort of thing like i'm a bit like that with

apex now but yeah i mean it's not back to witcher 3 a lot x-com 2 yeah was amazing witcher 3 was amazing i mean those are two of my favorite games of all time. I've been pretty disappointed with Civ games over the last few years when they've come out. I've really enjoyed Hearts of Iron. I put a lot of time into that. Crusader Kings, when I can be bothered with it, is fun. This new Imperator Rome, everybody's saying, oh, you're going to play that? That looks great. I'm like, well, yeah, you know, I'll play it. Sure. I'm looking forward to it. I'm sure it'll be fine. Yeah. Like Squad is a game I really enjoy when I play that. But the problem is getting onto a good server with all my buddies is kind of tricky.

It's a bit of a flaky game at times, but like there are games that I really enjoy, but generally the games where I'm like, it's perfect. There's nothing I want to change. Witcher three, XCOM two. That's pretty much it.

Minor changes, uh, rim world, I guess. But again, these are all games I've played so much. Yeah. For a while,

you kind of want to change you want to break yeah you want something new i just can't just pick up games that are like okay and play them i play them if they're only okay i'm just done like i'm no i want to get hooked that's what that's what i'm into yeah same i'm the same man i don't know wow was like that but again there was like it wasn't it wasn't that i think wow was a pretty good game it wasn't incredible though but there was just elements that were outside of the scope of wow that made wow so great right like in vanilla at the time i mean when it came out it was there was nothing else at the time yeah it was like anything like it except for like everquest but that was like very

sort of like i don't know i feel like the people that played everquest at that time were just like really hardcore nerds like they were shouting types they definitely were more so than than your average wow player yeah but i don't know it's it's a weird one i think it's worth saying that yeah games don't seem to necessarily have evolved um in some cases like you know i go a gdc we saw a lot of pixely games we saw a lot of games that were familiar in some ways like a lot of people are remaking the sort a lot of games that were familiar in some ways. A lot of people are remaking the classic Nintendo 2D or 3D platformers, or things like Stardew Valley's done well, so we're going to make our own one, which is slightly different. Or Factorio's done well, so we're going to make Satisfactory.

These types of evolution is what you see a lot of. But I don't know, multiplayer is this tricky thing. Yeah, I don't know. There's a lot of people who don't like multiplayer games ruining their games. Fallout 76 is a great example of a multiplayer game. Yeah, like a story-rich single-player experience, which has just had multiplayer seemingly crow crowbarred into it I guess like some people feel I don't know I mean I played Fallout 76 briefly and it wasn't as terrible as

I thought it was going to be you know based on like what people were saying about it I don't know it like in a multiplayer game I don't think you can get away with having really clunky laggy combat and stuff like in the single player Fallout games, you can almost forgive it because it's maybe part of the charm somehow. I don't know. Like it's just a, you know, it's a survival game and not everything is like, you know, perfect.

So you're just like, oh yeah, you know, maybe my guns are a bit shit and inaccurate or whatever. But when you're playing like against other people, you don't really want that experience, I guess. Like, I don't know. It's hard to explain right a good game i think is um anything that you enjoy playing with with friends okay like it doesn't have to be a traditionally good game as long as you i mean and we'll play anything right

with each other because we're hanging out with friends like it doesn't have to be good but but when you find an actual good i don't know it does have to be good but but when you find an actual good i don't know it does have to be good though i don't i can't just play a shit game with friends and and the only thing keeping me in it is my friends like if it's a really shit game it'll drive me nuts and i'll stop playing it you know what i mean like it has to be a good game to me it has to be good that cool and it's i don't know i you know i do think uh what's interesting you saying that games you know, they're not evolving. I feel like a lot of how games have evolved

is quality of life stuff for the player that actually makes the game more bearable, but less difficult. Like I got the Resident Evil 2 remake and I was playing it at the start of the week and I gave up. I played it twice and I've already given up. It's too scary for me.

I don't really like scary games i love how that that's put i i i i get you though i couldn't play resident evil 7 it was i am fucking terrifying yeah yeah but i just love how nonchalantly you put it first of all it's just too scary for me it's too scary the other problem i've got is one of the things that makes it scary is that you have to manage your inventory so specifically so that there are points in the game where you just have no ammo and it's like yeah just deal with that you've got three shots and there's a car full of zombies and i'm like but i there's no dodge mechanic in the game that like you can bait them towards you a little bit and then maybe go around but there's no way i mean some of them like the licky zombies the big brain licky zombies there's no dodge like your guide jogs at this light pace like there's

one point he goes we better run and then he's like because that's the way it would have been on the playstation right way back then they didn't really have the ability i think to make characters move very quickly so you're just like jogging and i'm like dude you're this young police officer run run past the zombies but he doesn't there's no way to shove them you know and if you you stab them three times your knife breaks so you're just going to manage this stuff all the time so that just adds to the stress and then this guy dr x or something turns up mr x who's like this huge figure who stomps around like the hulk and he just follows you indefinitely around the map as far as I can tell, just following you around.

And so you can hear this boom, boom, boom of his footsteps getting closer. And he just comes in through the door and he's just trying to punch you. You just have to run away. You can't kill him. And that's it. The best you can do is flashbang him

and then just run. That's it. You just have to run. So I was like, I'm done. I'm done. I can't stand this. You know what? Coming back to what you're saying about inventory and stuff, I think if like the theme of the

game is that you're sort of against, you know, against all the odds, you've run out of ammo a lot and stuff like that. I can deal with that. But man, I don't know what it is like. And again, I struggle because sometimes I think I'm just like getting like older than like the target demographic for these games. And these things are annoying me like as a result or they're just poorly implemented. I can't figure out what it is. But fucking inventory management.

I don't know what it is with games nowadays. Like I was playing this game called Graveyard Keeper, which sounds great, right? It's like Star Trek Valley, but you manage a graveyard. And I was like, holy fuck, you know, that's perfect. Like I could really enjoy this. But the whole game is just so mired in this garbage inventory. Like you have about six inventory slots. You can pick up everything in the world and none of it does anything.

So then when you actually need to pick up like a quest item or something it's like oh do i drop all these fucking sasquatch dicks that i'm carrying around i might need them later or do i need you know what i mean and then it's like yeah oh fuck i gotta run back to my house which is like 10 miles away i'm in like some sort of fucking sewer or something here i found something that i need but of course i have no space for it and then you go back home to your stash box which is substantially bigger and that's just jam-packed full of garbage as well that you're probably never going to use and right it was so fucking frustrating like and it just absolutely spoiled the game for me completely i just stopped i think part of it is that when the game when the gameplay itself is really good, and straightforward, like, you know, this is the quest, the action itself is fun,

I don't need the extra layers of shit. Like, one of the things that really annoys me in games, is I get into the game and it's like, there's extensive crafting. I'm like, great. Because that means I'm going to have to go around and find the fucking red herb. Then I'm going to have to find this specific find the fucking red herb. They're going to have to find this specific rock.

And then the hair of this specific pony. I'm just like, you know, just let me play the game. Like, I miss out on a lot of stuff in a game because I just can't be bothered. Yeah. Drining. It feels more like busy work in World of Warcraft where it's like farm 20 boars and you'll get the teeth you need. I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that.

I feel like some games do it really well, though. Like, I never had these problems playing through Subnautica, which was a fantastic experience. Like, I never really remember feeling frustrated with anything. There's never any times where I just had way too much stuff that I didn't know what to do with. You can craft as many lockers as you need and organize your stuff. There just wasn't too much stuff. There wasn't too many big resource chains to build things or whatever

you know like the really big things yeah you had to sort of like stock up on some materials but you'd expect that right if you're gonna build like a gigantic nuclear submarine for yourself to fucking go around on like sure but like i don't know like the pacing and it just seems like they put a lot of thought into it it never felt like cumbersome or or shitty i think it's hard to get right i think a lot of games put it in because they think you've got to have crafting and you've got to have inventory but well i guess you manage it in a fun way it doesn't feel core it feels like another chore it don't feel core it feels like a chore chore. Yeah, there you go. There's the strap line for you. What a motto.

What a motto. It don't feel core. It feels like a chore. Much like this podcast, right? Am I right, guys? I had a great time in America. We don't care. That's why we didn't ask.

I obviously went to, so last time I went to GDC. Where did you go? To San Francisco. Beautiful. And he made sure that he put a flower in his hair as well nice because he was going remember last last pod last time we talked about this peep show so and i got kind of a bit not harassed or like i was like a homeless magnet do you remember oh yes is right yeah the last time you, you had this sort of weird journey into the...

Didn't you do some research on the homeless situation in San Francisco as well? You had all these stats for us and everything. Yeah, yeah, I remember. That was really interesting. I think it might be more of a drug thing, actually. Right, okay. Now I think about it. Because we always stay in Union Square, which is nice a nice area ish but it kind of bumps

right up against the tenderloin which is this area kind of a which is plagued with meth zombies basically right um and and drug drug yeah there's songs about that area by a punk band i don't know if you've ever heard of the punk band rancid before who are from San Francisco I think they actually have a song called Tenderloin which is about that area so look it up sometime it's weirdly like American cities are obviously grids and in a sense that keeps them open but also it keeps the sort of problems in plain sight I'm sure other cities especially like London other places have areas that you don't really want to go to a walk walk through oh come on london they're all like they're all like famous and like wacky right like

wally woobler square and wiggle wiggle bottom precinct and stuff like that you want to go everywhere in london like i think the problem when you go to london is you don't have enough time to go to all these crazy places like there's there must be a place in jersey where you don't want to hang out on a on a on a dark night you know sips come on like yeah is there a dodgy part of jersey a dodgy street on jersey really yeah yeah there's like there's there's like council estates and stuff over here same as anywhere else i want to go anywhere near them pretty much i don't believe it yeah well it's it's it it happens it's society i feel like design it's the way that in a way um the grid sort of set up in san francisco means that if you just walked somewhere

in a random direction there's a good chance you will accidentally end up in a very dodgy neighborhood and genuinely feel like you're about to be stabbed or like someone is about to just grab your phone or someone is, you know, I mean, I walked past, as usual, in San Francisco. I was there for like five days. I didn't really have any days off particularly, but, you know, in the evenings, occasionally after GDC, I walked to a bar

or I, you know, walked to a cafe. Basically, what I'm trying to say is I walked into a few dodgy areas by sort of semi-accident, but sort of just semi, you can, walked to a cafe. Basically, what I'm trying to say is I walked into a few dodgy areas by sort of semi-accident, but sort of just, semi you can't really avoid it, just because it's all there in plain sight. So here's the highlights of the things that I saw in San Francisco.

Woohoo! Cue the music. Number one. I saw shit on the ground. So there's a lot of crazy people, like just drugged up people i assume that they're a mixture of both um weird people are they really eccentric like uh like ultra american eccentric you know like what i mean when i say that what i mean is yeah red-eyed crazy looking yeah dirty stinky crazy hair yelling stuff at you usually yeah and or like just interesting shit so i was walking down one place and there was just um on just like on a on like on a street

it was sunny really sunny and it'd been apparently been raining for a week so it was just like the first day it was sunny and it was pot it was like 20 degrees um and so the first thing i saw when i was walking down for breakfast was uh this homeless, just fully naked, just like on the pavement, just saluting the sun, like, you know, just arms out like Jesus on the cross. Just, you know, fully sharing, enjoying the sun, like worshipping the sun. Right. Just on the side of the road, you know, totally America. Right. So I was like, cool.

Just walked around him, carried on. And then later on, me and Terps were walking down this road towards Haight. And so obviously everyone at San Francisco would be like, oh, yeah, I know where that is. That's like the Soho. That's like, you know, you'll just see naked people on the street there. Don't worry about it. But it was this black man.

And he had like three other guys with him, but they were all kind of they were all wearing shorts they weren't fully nude he was like just fully naked

just you know dick swinging big dreadlocks just like big muscles like a good looking guy just walking down

the street like you know like an everyday street like imagine you were like you know just walking down the road outside your place and there was just a fully were just walking down the road outside your place.

Pop to get the paper. And there was just a fully naked man bowling down the street towards you. Like, wow. So yeah, that was interesting. And then obviously we did walk down through Haight-Ashbury, which is this trendy... Haight. Haight. Haight.

Sorry. Haight. Haight. Don't know how to pronounce it. Nice. Had a vegan burger, which was nice. Of course you did. Bought some shoes. And I don't know, looked at all the bong to pronounce it. Nice. Had a vegan burger, which was nice. Of course you did. Bought some shoes.

I don't know, looked at all the bong shops and stuff. Nice. And stuff, which was interesting. There's a lot of interesting stuff there. It's all very hipster and interesting anyway. And just in the middle of the street, there were like five white guys, all fully nude. Right. continued except they were wearing like the tiniest little pouches like around their dick and walls like like you gotta keep your stuff somewhere it was so small it was like imagine

a penny pouch with like two two pound coins in a flipping like in a tiny leather pouch of this and well because like they had these big guts, like big bellies hanging out over it. Nice. It was very, very much out there. Are you sure they weren't German tourists? German tourists. Yeah, German tourists would have knee-high black socks with sandals on as well. They were playing a bit of umpah. Yeah, they had some little trombones. We're not, honestly, we're not used to it. America's bonkers.

It's more bonkers than our bonkers. Like you see weird stuff in the UK sometimes, but they take it, they really do take it to the next level. Like you haven't seen crazy people until you've been to America and seen, because everything else seems so normal. Is it because there's more drugs or like, I guess there's lots of drugs in the UK I think you see these people like on spice all zombied out and stuff like do they have that in America do they well yeah I mean they've got you've got loads of people doing meth and crack and whatever else well yeah those are like the

traditionals but I'm talking like what about like um like over in the UK, especially in prisons and stuff, like spice is huge, isn't it? Yeah, I think they do quite a lot of spice in the States. Is it like a prison drug over there too, or is it? No, I mean, it's a street drug here. If you go to Manchester and Liverpool, apparently it's a big problem. I mean, here's the thing. People think about this as some collapse of society. There have always been groups of people

that will do whatever the current worst drug you can that will fuck you up. Like methylated spirits. It was like the purple stuff that you use to clean paint off old brushes. People used to drink that in the 50s and 60s. You used to see them drinking it. Like, and they would be...

Yeah. And they'd sniff like lead-based paint and stuff. Right, and glue and stuff like that. Like there's always been something... What about the bottom of aerosols as well remember used to be yeah that's another thing it used to huff them huff car exhaust i mean around here people do uh people do noz like that's the big thing for the kids around here is noz people are licking on a pritt stick whatever they can get sticking tippax up their nose nice yeah i remember yeah sniffing um sniffing white out used to be a

like uh like a scare story for us at school you know like fucking don't sniff the white out and everybody be like all scared we used to just like we used to like dab white out like behind each other's like ears and stuff like that to try to get each other when was the last time you used tippex or white like in primary school well probably high school actually i think like you know sometimes when you have to hand in assignments or whatever back before you could um well actually when i was in high school we it wasn't like ultra rare for somebody to have a computer and like print out their homework or whatever but it was still very much like you wrote like with a pen or pencil and you handed it in sort of thing I imagine everything now is just

like typed up on a computer and printed out my daughter handed in her project on a USB stick and she's nine okay so yeah that's more accepting my dad sent me a thing yesterday so he's they're selling their house they have to submit like reams and reams of paper anyway I had to sign one of these things right and he'd sent me this thing to sign and he basically there was like it was like when you're selling your house you have to do an inventory and you have to say whether this is is coming with the property or staying with the owner or it doesn't exist okay and so one of them for example was like bedroom five okay populated Because we only have like three bedrooms in the house. Comes with three bitches. So there was like, do you know what I mean? So basically my dad had like, basically this whole thing,

it was like three or four pages long. And my dad had clearly gone through and sort of just done it and ticked it all as he, as he see fit. But then my mum had had a look at it and gone, oh, you've done this all wrong. You know, this, this shouldn't be, this shouldn't be. So he went through and like tip X'd out all the wrong answers right put put it all in again i mean you can still buy this stuff like it you know people must still use it because like yeah but i don't think so i think he was

using one from 10 years well that's the that's the other thing you buy some and you pretty much have like a vial for life right like it's a it's pretty much a one time but the quality of it was so shitty that it was like it was all kind of all flaky and fucked up like it was like you know it separated in the tube and he hadn't ever shaken it lost its panache over the years it lost its power and i could see all the ticks that he'd done wrong and but they were sort of covered in a flaky white kind of scratchable off thing and i was like fucking hell dad and then some of the boxes he ticked like all fucking three and then tippexed out the wrongs i was like how could you get this yeah but dude your dad is like fucking 80 though isn't he like i know it's understandable

geez it's very adorable and i'm sure he's gonna do he's not gonna fucking hand it in on a usb stick that's for damn sure well that's well if you say that he'd probably i'd probably be able to help him with it and And he'd probably manage it better than he's handling TippX. But it is certainly a thing from his generation. He was obviously like, but if you make a mistake with the bio, it's permanent.

Not now with new TippX. You can delete any mistake. And no one will ever know. Do you remember in school where you'd like go over it you'd go over it with tippex or we used to we we ours was called whiteout we'd call it whiteout but sorry it's the brand name yeah yeah yeah um but you remember like you you'd fucking go over something to white it out or tippex it and then you'd have to write on top of it and it just looked like such garbage like the

shit would flake off around the ink and stuff and oh my god it was so bad it was never like and you never waited properly for it to dry and so you always put it on too thick man fucking tipex what what a shit thing it is it's such a shit thing you know you can get like this tape stuff now you don't even need to use like liquid anymore. It's like a, it's kind of like a pen and this weird fucking like film comes out of it. And it's like perfectly covers like a line in a paper. Could you imagine like fucking, if we hadn't invented the internet and computers and stuff, how much better our lives would be?

Trees would be cut down. Man, I was saying this yesterday. Imagine we were like living in some sort of steampunk world right where no everyone printed everything off oh my god i think the internet's been awesome in a lot of ways but i think it's just been fucking terrible in a lot of ways too like i really it's that's really a fine balance of like utter garbage and just pure brilliance isn't it but like yeah it doesn't sway like predominantly either way it's just like i know i know i can't live without it like i know if i have to spend a few days without it i start to get sort of like i get i get weirded out and super bored like you

know what i did the last couple weeks i read a book like an old-fashioned fucking paper book i my brother-in-law got it for me a couple of Christmases ago and I hadn't got around to reading it. I read it, it was really good. I just feel like my kids read books, like I like that. I don't want them on devices all the time because you kind of realise there's no attachment to the earth. You know what I mean?

I mean, you hold a thing. Like you hold a book, it's paper. I like paper. It feels like a natural product. It's nice. You can, you know, you've got your bookmark It feels like you're holding something when you finish you close up the book and you cut a hold it and it's a thing That you can hold it's not just some disposable

Piece of internet trash that you have on a fucking device. I will never read a fucking Kindle. Give me a goddamn book Yeah, I don't care how much progress there is. I want to hold the thing when I'm reading I don't want to just leave the scrolling through with my thing Oh, yeah, I'm page 180. I don't want to just scrolling through with my thing. I'm page 180. I don't know why. It just bothers me. Books should be books. Stop it with the progress already.

Okay, one thing I've read this week. Slow it down. Which will be a bit weird. Is it more anime? Inappropriate airplane anime? So I was browsing. He's trying to think of something else. I was browsing Reddit and I found

this new fisting porn I'm just going to go out and say it I've been reading some Harry Potter fan fiction oh my god alright well thanks for listening to the podcast this week everybody we're going to end this one early and disassociate with Lewis Brinley

altogether off the back of this one so and uh disassociate with lewis brinley all together uh off the back of this one so um so this will be the last one we didn't quite make it to 100 we didn't quite make it to 100 it's a damn shame yeah i mean you got to draw the line somewhere sometimes you just got to take a stance in life and when somebody says they've been reading harry potter fan fiction that's a it's a blessing in disguise they've done you a. You don't have to find out later on after wasting a lot of time investing into a friendship that is just going nowhere sort of thing. Found it on a lie. Found it on a lie, yeah. So basically, I didn't expect to carry on reading it.

Right. But as he felt his erection grow firmer. But as he felt his erection grow firmer. Listen, so basically there's this fanfic called Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality. Right. I want to kill myself. It's like an alternate reality where everyone is an idiot, basically. They kind of are more rational. So basically, Harry Potter is kind of this book nerd who goes to Hogwarts and hasn't really had these abusive parents.

I mean, this is a really perfect example of the internet being the best and the worst at the same time. It is. This is absolutely a perfect thing to talk about following on from those comments. So basically, the idea is he's like a sort of miniature Ravenclaw Spock. You've lost me. What's a Ravenclaw? Well, he joins Ravenclaw instead of Gryffindor. It's like the house.

The four houses. Right. So like Slytherin's the evil house. I know those guys and I've heard of the Gryffindor guys, but I don't care about the rest of them. Ravenclaw are book nerds and Hufflepuff are, at least in J.K. Rowling's universe, they're kind of chumps. Did you just say Hufflepuff? Yeah. Isn't that a Pokemon?

Yeah, that is. You're right. That is a Pokemon. Hufflepuff. Hufflepuff is the yellow house. Is there a Geodude house in Harry Potter as well? Is there a ghastly house? Is there a Weedle house?

I love Weedle. Yeah, me too. The worst. No, no, no. Yeah, me too. The worst. No, no, no. I've got a question for you. You're telling me that one of the clans or whatever they're called in the Harry Potter universe is like the nerdy ones. Did you not have houses when you were at school? The rest of them are so cool, aren't they?

That's an American thing, having like the house kappa and house beta and whatever. Oh, is it? Yeah. We had, I mean, this was a thing they brought in they brought them in the house of egg um they they brought them in to encourage competition in the schools like within the school i can't remember when they did it but it was that there's a point where they weren't and then there were and basically you're part of your house and you compete against the other houses so it'll be like they're basically red green blue orange yellow and something else and and you know it'll

be named after some place so house chichester was one of them and things things in the south you know famous people yeah or whatever so that's it so you're in your house like yeah i mean that's why the harry potter universe did it but you're telling me i know that like the the slytherin guys were like the bad the dicks right they were the dicks. But you're telling me that one of the houses was specifically called the bookie nerdish house as if the rest of all the kids at Harry Potter weren't bookish nerds in the first place? Yeah, because I thought that they were all like nerdy magicians.

Yeah, that's the whole point. No, not really. Some of them were kind of more like just... No. They're supposed to be... I mean, it's very stereotypical to break it down as simply as that but i think jk ron doesn't do a great job of writing a book making them that set that make giving them that much of an identity has she subsequently come out and said that

everyone in house whatever it was was gay is that because that's the thing that she does a lot that is a thing that she might have done yeah when no one asked for just to appeal to me right so harry potter i sorry i didn't realize I was talking to two guys who'd never read the books or watched the movies. I mean, I've been outspoken about this in the past. I've still never gotten around to, and probably never will get around to reading Harry Potter. I'm never going to read it.

I watch the movies because my kids watch them and Mrs. F watches them. So when they're on and it's a Sunday afternoon. My son is starting to become intrigued by the Lego, but knows nothing about it otherwise. that's his gate that's that's his gateway into this sordid world of fan fiction yeah so so so it wasn't it's basically it's written by this guy who it reads a lot like someone on r slash i am very smart do you know i mean like someone someone who is way smarter the human version of not as smart as they think they are sitting in his in his fucking nerd den with all of his uh star wars figurines still

in the original packaging and sex dolls and wall scrolls all around him writing yeah who's like who's like half fiction half understood and half read a smart book for smart people and then tells everyone that what he's learned from it as if it's like yeah yeah you know the the gospel of christ preaching from any preaching from like a throne of uh of of failure though right like anyway i'm a big fan of harry potter i read all the books back in the day right and i know the story pretty well i've read it I think I've read the whole thing through like, well,

at least the first few books I read through like twice back in the day and I think they're great books but they do have like these kind of frustrating moments where it's a thing

in movies and TV in general where people act in a way that is very dumb in order to keep the plot going or in order to leave even a story there because because if people all behave rationally most problems would be wrapped up in five minutes flat you know they wouldn't go on for seven seasons you know I think something that something that that certain certain smart shows I guess like authors aren't always like super smart you know most most books

are written by one person you know jk rowling um who certainly most books are written by jk rowling that's an incredible statistic well no but most well i'm using her as an example most books are written by one person they're not written by a group of people or like sometimes tv shows are written by a staff of writers or most books are written by one guy and as a result they tend to be the better books that they write tend to be stuff that they know about people always say write what you know um and if you if people like i read some hard sci-fi stuff like um neil stevenson and stuff and it feels like people who have a sciencey background can write that stuff well um whereas jk rowling didn't necessarily she came up with a lot of stuff but

but she there's certain things that are just massively overlooked in her books and people obviously just have this suspension of disbelief that are like okay that's that's maybe not a thing but this guy who's writing this fanfic kind of addresses those things and ties them in to the to the narrative as if so it's kind of like it's like a rewrite of Harry Potter, almost feels like in a narrative universe. And it's as if Harry was just a bit smarter with people. In fact, a lot smarter with people. He's portrayed as this incredibly smart 11-year-old who can kind of rationally argue with people

and make them not just do things that are stupid. And do you know what? It just, I found it very readable. I'm sorry to share this with you. But like, like,

it's like, it's like, do you know what this is like? It's like a kid coming home to his parents and telling them about that, this latest thing he's into. Yeah.

And they're like, oh yeah, I like that too, son. You know, it's like like you guys are showing no interest it's hard i don't expect first of all if you fucking watch the harry potter movies i don't know about the books but i know the movies are based on the books i watched them

with my kids and every time something happened that was clearly lifted from lord of the rings i pointed out this was straight from lord of the Rings. Like, the whole thing is straight lifted from Lord of the Rings. The dude even looks like Frodo in the movies, right? Everything he's got is he's got glasses. The old wizard

who's kind of helpful. Gandalf, Dumbledore, right? Then there's kind of like the henchman-y guy who's kind of gruff and he's like Gimli, kind of. Then you've got the lad that was in prison.

What's his name? The guy who's, uh, Gary Oldman's character I can't remember anyway serious black he's kind of like Aragorn and shit you know you don't actually know how that so that's actually even addressed in this fanfic like they Harry talks to Dumbledore about how he doesn't want to be Frodo and Dumbledore's Gandalf they have a big chat about it because because in this in this fanfic and universe people are aware of popular culture believe it or not like none of that is normally addressed in harry potter well do you know why she doesn't want to let the cat out of the bag she hoped nobody would notice also like here's my other problem with this kind of corrective fan fiction is this this guy's obviously a massive fan of the Harry Potter stuff, right? Yeah, clearly.

These books were written for kids. Sorry to break it to you guys. They were kids' books. And they're not going to cover all the bases that you as an adult reading back at them, you're going to be annoyed by some of that stuff. It's like watching an old TV show you enjoyed as a kid. The first one was definitely written for kids. But I think the second one was not written for little kids. And from then on, it was written for young adults.

I think you'll find Harry Potter more often in the young adult section. Yeah, which is another way of saying teenagers. Sorry. But you should have a look through the young adult section. There's a lot of death and sex and adult themes in there. It's not all like fucking you know the big pink mouse walked out onto the road today those are little kids books but what i'm saying is that when you write these books like twilight i think is like a teen book right it's a book for kids yeah the

the audience is not expected which is kind of condescending i think to run the same level of expect expectation over the pros you know what i mean it doesn't have to be written as flowery language as long as the story's cool like all the one of those ones called with katniss katniss everdeen or whatever it is the hunger games all that shit so there were these the teen audience when i was a teenager i'm sure i would love those books i read books that looking back at them now they're garbage you don't put the same Expectations of hang on a minute. Why would they do that? And that doesn't seem consistent You just read the book. Oh, you just devour it. You know, the mean the way kids watch TV shows

They just devour them just washes over you and this guy has now gone back. He's reread the books probably for the billionth time He's like how come the Harry Potter lives in the modern age, but he never mentions anything that's happening He never mentions bands, he never mentions movies he never mentions Lord of the Rings, I'm going to correct that because that way it'll be more palatable to people who are now adults and reading the books, I think that's what it is it's like, it's not correcting the books

it's correcting the reader and helping them out by saying all that stupid shit that bothered you when you read Lord of the Rings Harry Potter, bingo, I'm going to fix it for you Yeah, I don't think it's correcting necessarily as much as addressing you when you read the lord of the rings harry potter bingo i'm gonna fix it for you yeah i don't think it's correcting necessarily as much as addressing um but also like man i just found it i didn't expect to i've only read like about 10 chapters but i thought that you know i i didn't expect to read past the first one honestly but i was just interested in what it was about i thought

it was going to be sexy stuff when you said fanfic yeah i think there is a lot of that stuff out there as well i normally just assume that fanfiction is sort of like you know always i think it always starts off meaning well and trying to like not conform to like the stereotypes of fanfiction but then can't help itself and then devolve somehow into like a sexy time with your favorite characters how disappointed were you lewis normally don't really engage in that well look you know it's it's someone posted on the reddit the other day saying that they can't look at mercy and elsa in the same way on any anymore when they're watching from overwatch because because of the ttt characters that she and duncan have oh of their wait there's elsa there's elsa porn oh my god there's everything porn if you

look hard enough for it i i think that what you i i i feel like anything like i don't think harry potter's a kid's book we've been through this a million times but in the same way that i think it's pitched out there in the middle of the road right in the same way that a lot of place things are pitched out there in the middle of the road so that young people can play them or watch them. Not everything has to be a dramatic thing with rapes and murders left, right and centre and horrible stuff, people being tortured. Not everything has to be that. But it's not about the topic necessarily.

It's about how it's written. In the same way, you could say that World of Warcraft is a kids' game, right? And Marvel's a kids' game and Star Wars and all the superhero movies are kids' movies. And honestly, like, I think that some of them

skew younger than others, but I think most of them are just thrown down the middle of the road. And I think Harry Potter has more of a reputation amongst people who haven't read it that it's for kids,

but I think that it definitely flies down the middle of the road. And it is, like, a universe that so many people are very attached to and follow. And I think that the fan audience around it is still huge. You know, I went to Harry Potter Wizarding World in Universal last year. I remember you saying. It was a really nice thing to do as a fan,

like just to kind of see that. Like, I think that when you've read, like in a sense the same way as Lord of the Rings. I don't think Harry Potter skews any younger than Lord of the Rings does, but I enjoyed going to Hobbiton when I went to New Zealand because I'd read the books, I was familiar with it. I'd played a bit of Lord of the Rings online. You know, I'd put enough time into the Lord of the Rings universe

to be attached to it and feel like it was an enjoyable part of my life. And so, yeah, I think that you shouldn't dismiss things as, pfft, that's for kids, in the same way that I think that you shouldn't dismiss recommendations for things that you might not like that you haven't tried, you know? I think the movies, obviously, if you've watched them and you hate them that you haven't tried you know i i think i

think the movies obviously if you've watched them and you hate them then that has given you a pretty good picture i'm not i'm i'm telling you off i think these things are just so fucking so in incredibly hyped by people as well that it puts me off like i don't know my kids too many people tell you something's good then you're like i don't want to drink that kool-aid yeah i just think like if my kids really like it how good can it be that's it you know what i mean yeah it's probably all right but at the same time look at resident evil 2 like you gave it a good go it wasn't for you you that's it you know i mean like i think that's the same thing with this thing like i i if i didn't if i read the first chapter and i got totally turned off, I would have been like, meh. That's true.

You know what? You gave it a bloody go. And good on you for reading Harry Potter fan fiction. I didn't think I'd ever say that, but good on you. Thanks, man. Thanks for taking the hit. For fucking putting yourself out there. I can hear the sarcasm in your voice.

You should read more fan fiction and do like, you know, instead of playing a new game every day, because you're going to run out of games, like you're probably already scraping the barrel with some of these games. You should do like a fan fiction report instead, you know, do something you really, you really like, you know, read some fan fiction and then honestly review it and see, you know, and give people a heads up, you know, this is one worth checking out. The internet allows the community to work together on something. So I get the feeling that this fanfic has been, the guy who put it out originally, I don't think it was written very well in sort of British English or like, or in JK Rowling sort of style. So it wasn't really very readable, but I think the community embraced it and some guys helped edit it and tidy it up and other people added jokes and took jokes in and it's kind of become this more of a community project to make something. And those collaborative things are what we often live off of.

We play, the main channel these days plays modded Minecraft, sorry modded Gary's mod and modded Minecraft and community made creations. Some of the best content that I've ever played in gaming is stuff that's not made by the devs. The GTA maps that we do are all made by custom however That's the people I may go for it There is a huge difference between modding a game which is something that even if I've modded the game I can still play it my experience will be different and fucking crowdsourcing ideas for a book and writing it as a collective the reason that you get one person to write a book and that's the

Best way to do it because you want their voice and you want them to really say something and sometimes it as a collective. The reason that you get one person to write a book and that's the best way to do it because you want their voice and you want them to really say something and sometimes it's going to upset or it's not going to appeal to one group of people but it's really going to appeal to another group of people. I don't want a fucking book by committee and honestly, I think that's the worst possible way to do it.

There's a reason that all the greatest art in the world is made by like a very small number of people working together or one person. Not like like fucking 30 40 nerds on the internet rewriting harry potter get the fuck out of here i think you're right i think i think you are 100 right on that actually but i think that at the same time like i think that some people have different levels of expertise some people know about this thing or some people know about different areas of science some people don't know about different areas you know what it reminds me of having this collaboration reminds me of uh the zyborn clock do you remember the zyborn clock oh my god uh what

is this it's that sounds familiar what is johnny five aces and stuff so this was it always comes back around it always comes around to the zyborn clock. So this is a super old, this was from something awful. The Johnny Five Aces thing, I remember. So there was this idea, these guys on something awful were going to get together and make a game. And it was going to be a JRPG style game about this thing called the Zyborn clock. And after a while, you couldn't tell what was the original stuff that was going to be in the game

because there was a big sub forum dedicated to it and there were all these guys saying they were going to make it and none of them could do any coding or anything because they're all just kids and they all had these terrible ideas the writing was awful like so so bad that the parodies of it became you you couldn't tell they were so good that you couldn't tell if they were actually part of the original design or if they were like jokes about the original design it was so unbelievably bad you wouldn't believe it so somebody made a mock-up of the zyborne clock as a game and that all the drawings that people came up with oh it's hilarious it kind of reminds me of the zyborne clock that that collective sense like but that is itself entertaining stuff right like a lot of people can you could see why if someone comes up with like so basically

what he did was he uh one of the chapters he actually combined compiled like a list of the best community sourced bits and it was like a paragraph like by like 20 different people and like it was just basically the same scenario of like harry wearing the sorting hat and something different happening every time and everyone had written their own little paragraph or two on that and it was really interesting just to read through that as a kind of non-canon chapter in the middle of the fanfic that was like community suggestions of funny funny stuff like curated though to like the best ones and all the ones that he liked the most or the ones that fit most in his canon like do you mean like it felt like it was a nice to have and the zybon clock was a cool idea like it was

funny like you said it was hilarious like it was a positive thing to have, and the Zybon clock was a cool idea. It was funny. Like you said, it was hilarious. It was a positive thing to have. Obviously, it never became anything. It never made into anything, but there were probably different reasons for that. I'm not saying that we... I don't think we should shut down creativity

wherever it falls. I'm sure those people enjoyed that experience. They learned a lot from that experience. It was a positive thing. It wasn't just mindless, you know, sniffing Tippex and fucking, I don't know, just begging on the street like a crazy meth addict. Standing naked saluting the sun. I got one more thing before we wrap up, all right, before we fuck your balls.

So I took a bath the other day, and the plug in my bath uh it has like this twist thing you twist it and it and the and the thing comes up it's like you know some plugs you just pull like the plug right right yeah this one has like a mechanism that like pushes the plug up right underneath yeah so the mechanism ceased to function so for like two days uh in my bathroom there's this bath just filled with like my gross like fucking men residue uh this water that just couldn't drain away we just couldn't get the plug uh out right and then slowly over the course of two days it turns out that like maybe the plug is not as airtight as we thought it was because the bath slowly drained out leaving like this

gross fucking film and like all these like pubes and stuff like all but we couldn't rinse it out because the plug was still stuck right so this morning finally i get the plug out and i'm like what the what the hell like i'm trying this thing twisting it twisting it twisting it and i noticed that like once i finally get the plug out I had to use a screwdriver to like pry it out, but I couldn't do it when the tub was full of water. Like it would have been, I didn't want to ruin my screwdriver. So waited for it to empty out,

pried it open. So I'm twisting this thing and I noticed the mechanism is still working. And inside like the plug hole, it's just filled with like this gunge. And I think it was like creating like a vacuum seal, the gunge against the plug so i wiped all that shit out and then i noticed that the actual plug itself had a screw

in the bottom of it so that you could like adjust the height of the plug right so i made it higher so that the little mechanism is just a little like lever underneath that pushes the plug up i made it a bit longer so that it would connect better sort of thing and then i did like a test run i filled the tub up so you know i was happy with like the length put it in filled the tub up a little bit fucking work it's working better than ever now boys perfect yeah good shit so i was gonna i was my immediate thought was oh it's just a bit blocked up with hair but then i realized who i was talking to yeah no, no. Well, I mean, the thing is, like, I'm missing quite a bit of hair on my head, but it turns out that I'm like a fucking ape on my body.

I've got a lot of hair. So, like, when I take a bath... It's all just migrated down. It just fucking is everywhere. It's nuts. It's like, you know, it's like when you give a dog a bath or whatever, there's just, like, you know, fur everywhere sort of thing.

That's what it's like. They don't know how good they have it, those mut yeah they don't they really don't you know it's true you never see a dog go bald on the top of its head no it's up with that yeah they never go um bald on the top of their heads i don't know what is up with that but yeah so um so that was my bit of diy for a male pattern baldness on on a cute cute little 2019's diy complete good shit good shit good shit DIY in 2020 will be

a little less involved god you know I love to hear a little bit of DIY I love to hear about a little bit of DIY fucking thank you for that Sips

there's a good sign off great little thing to end the that was the most interesting part of the podcast just wanted to end it

light hearted you know after all that real talk about Harry Potter yeah just thought it was like a little bit

too heavy sorry about that like I don't know listen you talk about what you want to talk about if it's not interesting to me and it was a little bit too heavy. Sorry about that. Hey, listen. You talk about what you want to talk about. If it's not interesting to me and Sips,

that doesn't mean it's not going to be interesting to the people out there, the folks at home. They're hanging on your every word about this Harry Potter stuff. Maybe they are, yeah. Check it out. Unfortunate for them, if that's the case. Might like it. Cool.

All right. See you next time. Good podcast, boys. See you later. Thanks, everybody. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.