Triforce! - Triforce! #99.9: Better than Belle

Episode Date: July 24, 2019

Triforce! Episode 99.9! This week we're discovering a horde of spin-offs, mastering Instagram and trying to best Belle Delphine! Bodega: Tales from the Bodegaverse available here: https://yogsca.st/BodegaBook Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello and welcome to the Triforce Podcast episode 99 point something. Nine. Is it 99.9? It can't be. No way. It might actually, yeah my god it might be 99.9 holy crap yeah that's almost been timed perfectly because how far away are we from the big live 100 couple weeks two weeks weeks yeah two weeks about two weeks away yeah oh i'm away

next week i'm off on holiday so you there so there's not going to be one next week either well the week after, I should say. Yeah, I guess. I mean, unless we record one tomorrow. We'll just stay late. We can stay late, guys. You know, just stay late. Just put in, you know, work around the clock.

Put in some overtime. Work hard. At the coalface of podcasting. When the horn blows and all of the other Fred Flintstone people leave right on time, there we are, working the extra hours, putting in work, putting in that extra effort to make another podcast. I've been watching The US Office. It's great.

I never watched it all the way through when I watched it before. It's all on Amazon Prime, and I've just had it playing in the background while I've been playing Path of Exile and some other games. And, man man it's like i don't know like it's just a great it's a great show sometimes it it obviously some of it's incredibly awkward right but it doesn't necessarily fall into the trap of being just a bit of a downer sometimes like sometimes some shows kind of deliberately you see things get worse and worse and worse and then they just like how much worse can we make this you know whereas i feel like the office like holds back you know before things get too bad

you know you know i think i think the difference between the the uk because i've watched i've watched all of it like the whole thing up up until michael leaves i don't really care for the show after michael scott leaves because i think he was the lynchpin for the show yeah um i think that the reason it works for me as less uncomfortable than the UK office, which was so cringy, I actually couldn't watch it a lot of the time, is that the main character in the UK office is Ricky Gervais' character. Whereas the main characters in the US office are Pam and Jim, really are the protagonists. And yes, Michael is a main character, but the point is that you have their reaction to fall back on and they're the audience,

sort of horrified at what's happening and making fun of it and pranking Dwight and making sarcastic comments to Michael. So it feels less uncomfortable because Michael is like this force of nature that runs around the office and does all this goofy shit. But you also kind of feel sympathetic towards him because he's kind of pathetic he just wants people to like him and he wants people to be happy at work and all the rest of it and sometimes he does the right thing whereas i felt like um the ricky gervais character on the the uk office was just

detestable horrible man who never does the right thing it was a very different show completely different and and in good ways though right like like i read a big thing about how they changed the because the first couple of seasons of the obvious us are quite not similar but like like not as different from the uk one you know and then they quite especially the first series i feel the first series is a lot more like the uk one it feels a bit more more downbeat. I almost feel like the ensemble cast, which is a very American sitcom way of doing it, the whole cast become characters and you get jokes at the expense of the characters. You know the characters so well that just seeing them in those situations is funny.

I felt like the UK one, it was basically, there were like five characters really. I didn't feel they fleshed out the whole office anywhere near as well. There when the uk office was like oh it was the good one and the u.s office was the bad one and then i think very quickly that that switched over um really yeah i've only ever watched the uk one one thing that i always liked about the uk one was how shit everything was you know the office was just so depressingly yeah shit the people were so fucking they just seemed kind of depressed and like not depressed i don't know it's like if it felt like a little bit more realistic like i think i think a lot of people could uh identify with the characters in that show more easily you know know, there was no gloss over it, right? I've never seen the US one, so I don't know if that's the case.

I think it's similar. Everyone has an idea. Like, everyone went to school, and everyone has probably worked in some sort of office at some point and kind of knows, or at least knows people who are like those people in the office. I mean, the people in the office are obviously very exaggerated versions, but, you know, you kind of see these people just out and about in real life.

You see a happy Stanley laughing in a queue, or you see a kind of angry Meredith-type woman shouting with her boobs out in a fucking parade or whatever, you know, in the middle of the street. You can see snippets of people and things that you recognise. And also the drama is so, not mundane, but kind of trivial stuff. It's a small office disagreement which spins out of control and ends up taking up way more time than it's worth. And you know this, everyone knows this from real life. And when they look back on these moments where they had an argument with someone

about something that was just trivial garbage, they think, fuck. It's work. It's because you have to go and sit next to those people. Like, you're stuck in an office with people. Like, imagine if you were stuck next to Creed, right? Who's like a real weirdo in the office. You're going to have to work with him day in and day out. out like ryan the the temp he's sort of like been dropped into this and he

he i think he he's also another one of the eyes of the audience and he cannot believe that this is a place where supposedly people do business and it's like the best performing branch which is also like a running joke that scranton is like one of the few branches that actually makes money even though michael scott is like a terrible manager from a business perspective. I just think it's got all kinds of little sort of good touches that make it work. You could tell they really loved the show and the characters. I think it absolutely comes across. How many seasons are there in the US one?

Isn't there like 12 or something? I don't think it's that many. It might be 10. I don't think it's 12. Let's have a look. I i'll google it this is the kind of trivial thing i'm talking about guys nine seasons nine okay nine that's a lot though the uk one had two short seasons like two seasons with like six episodes each or whatever and also the us one i mean it has like 20 episodes per season sometimes but they must have moved away from the original format fairly quickly right or have no it's very much mundane office stuff like people like them arguing about cakes and you know birthdays and does the u.s one have

like um a guy like uh what's his face like the you know like the the typical office jobsworth who like you know yes dwight shrewd who's a great character right okay and he's michael's number one guy he's like his assistant regional manager assistant to the regional manager like he has to keep being reminded he's not the assistant manager he's just the he's just like michael's toady right and does whatever he says but he also tries to betray him because he really wants his job. He's a really good character. It works great in an American setting, right?

Because everyone knows a kind of, even like I know people, Americans, who are a little bit like Dwight Schrute, i.e. they kind of, I don't know, they're not preppers necessarily, but you know what I mean? They're a little bit off the grid. They're a little bit independent.

The American dream. Eccentric, yeah. you know like they they kind of have these weird views that are he's a bit of a he's like a very weird cross with a kind of yeah right yeah like i don't know like dwight is obviously an amazing character yeah and i really like the actor actually as well um rain wilson who he did like i think it was quite a short-lived detective show yeah i feel like he he that he's gonna he's one of those guys everybody loves him but he had a bit part in juno where he worked behind a store counter he's you see him pop up in a few things but the problem is he's a very weird looking guy so you recognize him straight away that's the thing yeah that's rain wilson and he can't say things without you thinking of dwight because it's such a big character yeah he did it so well that he's

almost typecast as the character that he created which is a shame but he you know geez you got nine seasons on one of the most popular sitcoms ever made a lot of people have trouble with that like remember like joey from friends same same problem just like completely typecast kramer never went on to do anything because you want to do something well yeah yeah sorry yeah he went on to do something a bit controversial but but no you know what i mean like he's never been in a another show or anything do you know he had a spin-off show i think um did you know this yeah he was a detective he was like a bungling slapstick private eye they made one series of yes. Yes, Michael Richards had a spinoff show.

But exactly like Rainn Wilson had his detective show. Right. I think it was called The Michael Richards Show, but he plays like this trench-coated, bungling, goof, it's like private eye. It's really weird. He's basically the exact same character as Kramer. It's bizarre.

Like you can find that on YouTube. I do feel like spinoff shows used to be a really big thing you don't see them as much i don't know were they though like i'm trying to think of a spinoff show that actually worked that people because i don't vernon shirley was very popular that was a spinoff from uh happy days because joey they were two characters that turned up um joey joey had his own show he had his own show but i don't think it i don't think it i watched it it was garbage yeah it was yeah it was all yeah yeah it was it was awful it didn't work because he's not he's not a character that has any real substance to him right in in friends he was like uh he was a sixth of the show or whatever right and they would just use

them when they needed to for like you know light relief or whatever it's kind of like a funny guy that they laughed at mostly originally i mean i think i ended up laughing with him but a lot of the time he was like just oh i'm eating pizza um guys i ate it i ate it all sorry guys yeah and and and he had like that sort of like bro dynamic with Chandler, right? Where they had like their own lazy boy chairs and shit like that. I mean, but Better Call Saul is a spinoff of Breaking Bad. Yeah, I mean, that's fantastic. Yeah, that's really good.

Yeah, I think that's probably the best example of a spinoff I can think of. There have been loads. Frasier is the best spinoff. Frasier, yeah, of course. Oh, yeah, of course. Oh yeah, of course. And there was a show called The Tortellis, which was a spin off of Cheers. So Frazier was a spin off of Cheers and there was a show called The Tortellis. Who are The Tortellis? They were Carla's loutish ex-husband. No fucking way.

So Carla, yeah, it was a one series show. Yeah, I bet it was. It made 13 episodes and it had Dan Hedaya in it. You know Dan Hedaya? You'll recognize him if you see him straight away. So the idea was, it's an American sitcom, the first spin-off of Cheetah starring Dan Hedaya and Gene Kassem, and it was Nick and Loretta Tortelli, who were like, for whatever reason, there was a spin-off show.

I honestly think it used to happen a lot more. Chicago Fire had three spin-off shows, which are still going. What the fuck is Chicago Fire? reason there was a spinoff show like i honestly think it used to happen a lot a lot more chicago fire had three spinoff shows which is what the fuck is chicago fire i've never even you don't remember chicago fire no oh man what is it you know you know it's just a show about a fire department in chicago so then they were like shit this is popular let's make a police what did they make like three other fire departments yo angelo where are you moving to yeah i gotta move to minnesota minnesota fire all right do you think that colombo had a spin-off show uh probably yeah it did yeah called mrs colombo they made one series of fucking joking me i'm not joking

for one series one season let's try it out see how it goes oh let's ax this quickly fuck me so the cosby show one of the biggest shows oh yeah that had uh what's it called um can you remember uh fuck i'm trying to think of the name it had uh denise in it right a different world a different world that's the one yeah that was a spin-off i really liked that what was so both of those shows were big in the 80s. Well, they had Cosby. There was like a reinvented Cosby show that wasn't part of the original Cosby timeline

that came back when he was like much older. Yeah, it was like just another Cosby show. And it was similar in format, but completely different. Like it was bizarre. It was just so fucking weird. And I think theo was in it as well possibly but i i don't remember it like well i'm not sure that reminds me of cleveland do you remember that like the family guy spin-off for cleveland oh yeah cleveland from family so

believe it or not the series joey ran for two seasons they made 46 episodes of Joey. 46 episodes. Can you believe it? Coming back to some of the Seinfeld cast, it was like a very sort of George, Elaine, and Kramer all suffered massively, like not being able to land any roles or do anything. I think Jason Alexander and Michael Richards definitely, but Julia Louis-Dreyfus did Veep, which was very well received. She did, but that was only very Richards, definitely. But Julia Louis-Dreyfus did Veep, which is very well received.

She did, but that was only very recently, though. I mean, not very recently, but it took her a long time. I mean, Seinfeld ended in the 90s, right? Veep is a couple of years old, I think. It took a while for her to actually break out into anything. And I think the whole time she was trying as well which is yeah that is that is true but i also think that women in uh hollywood especially i i read about this there are two phases to a woman's career in hollywood there's the you're young and hot enough that people are going to fancy you at the executive level yeah she's hot put her on a tv

show and then you get to middle age and unless you're like a stunning actress who's like gonna gonna carry on there's like a dead zone and then you can come back and play matriarch you quickly have to do mum roles right yeah i've seen that a lot so it's it's like if you think about men bruce willis has been an action hero and the dude's in his fucking 60s right like the dude has never stopped playing action heroes all of them are still and arnie the same and all these guys but women women in women in Hollywood are meant to be good looking, and then you can fuck off for a bit, and then you can come back if you're a good actress,

and you can be like Meryl Streep. Right. Yeah, there's plenty of male roles all the way up. Keanu's never really, if anything, got more roles. He's more action roles. John Wick. And he's like, the dude's in his 50s, right? Yeah, 55, something, maybe? Shit, you see it all the fucking time with other people too.

So I think whenever you see someone like Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who's a really good comic actress, I think she's brilliant. Yeah, yeah. She's funny. Yeah. She needed, she almost needed to come back when she could play a slightly older role. Have you seen Veep though? Hollywood cast women. Have I watched it? I watched a bit of it it was is it written by Armando Iannucci

who did The Thick of It? yes so I'm a huge fan of his I've watched everything that he's done but for some reason I haven't watched that and I should

it's been on for like seven years yeah I know well it's good you know Sips has never watched The US Office but sometimes

you think like whatever happened to this actor or actress and then you realize, oh shit, they actually did this fucking show forever and they just got trapped

in that show. Yeah. You know, I imagine like when Patrick Stewart was doing Star Trek The Next Generation for like 10 or 15 years, you know,

he was just, because doing a TV show with that many episodes, you know, it must just be, just suck up all of your time. Look at Charlie fairhead in

casualty the dude in casualty charlie's been in it forever he tried to leave a couple of times and he's he keeps coming back every time i think i'm out they pull me back in that's it they keep pulling him back in he's been in for 30 years yeah yeah oh my god i mean that's that's people have come and gone and i mean he's of them, but he always comes back. I remember as a kid, as a six- or seven-year-old kid, my mum was a biochemist. For some reason, she liked watching Casualty. That was the only soap we really watched.

So I always used to watch Casualty, and I remember fucking Charlie being in there as a character. It's not like a really very adult show. You know, there's usually a little bit of someone being sick occasionally or something like that. It's crap. It's crap. It's terrible.

Sometimes I think about your childhood, Lewis, and like I feel so depressed. Like I think maybe I have it wrong or something. Like I just imagine. It was great. I always imagine you being like really, really. Watching TV, watching crappy 80s TV. Yeah, but I always imagine you doing it in like a sterilized room,

like in a bubble or something with like a turtleneck on and like your mom just like only lets you watch like Casualty. Yeah, I think maybe she was like rubbing like eczema cream into my scalp or something. Yeah, yeah. I wasn't a very healthy child you know did you did you carry like a briefcase to school or anything or oh yeah i did i had a i had a brown were you a briefcase boy did you wear a bow tie to school and like a propeller

cap and stuff too yeah and uh the braces the trouser braces whatever they're called oh yeah suspenders suspenders yeah yeah so get this Suspenders. Suspenders, yeah. So get this. You ever have those sock suspenders? Like, you know, the ones that like corporate men wear? Hell yeah. Those are awesome. Oh, man.

So how many spinoff shows do you think Happy Days had? Not many. I can't imagine. The Fonz probably had his own show, I would have thought. Seven. Jesus fucking Christ. Seven. What do you mean this is this is how

tv used to be i mean laverne and shirley which was actually quite popular they were two bit park characters i think they were like the fonz's girlfriends in one episode so happy days all i remember about happy days was that it was before my time it was an american sitcom about people in school no they it was set in the 50s it was in that weezer video that one time too remember yeah it was made in the 70s it happy days was the fonz and the cunninghams and the fonz lived in like an apartment upstairs from the cunninghams and he was like cool he was like hey you know he was like the coolest guy and they were all preppy nerdy kids who needed his help to land girls it was set in the 50s but it was made in the 70s and 80s

70s show set in the 50s okay yes we're going back in time laverne and shirley was a spin-off of that which is actually quite popular around for eight seasons and i used to watch it when i was a kid it was about two women that worked in a beer bottling factory in milwaukee the theme tune was really iconic and they work on the line and the bottles are coming down and they stick their gloves on the bottles all the older americans out there will know what i'm talking about blansky's beauties was another spin-off from that show what which was uh nancy walker played howard cunningham's visiting cousin nancy blansky so blansky's beauties was a spin-off morgan mindy was a spin-off of happy days if you remember that was robin williams was a character on there as like a crazy guy and then he got his

own show and this was like robin williams was a character on there as like a crazy guy and then he got his own show and this was like robin williams was nobody in those days and then obviously that launched his whole career then there was the mork and mindy animated series which is technically a spinoff of mork and mindy but there was out of the blue which i've never heard of jimmy brogan as random an angel in training who's assigned to live with and guard a suburban chicago family which sounds bonkers the fonz and the happy days gang which was an animated show and joni loves chachi which was a short-lived show with um joni loves chachi yeah it was like no i know they were two characters on the on the happy days joni and chachi and uh chachi was like the fonz's cousin or his nephew or something was that like a one-way

relationship what to chachi not i don't know i don't know if chachi also loved joni it's a big question so but that's the way tv used to be if a character was a hit they'd pump a show out spin off you know what i mean that's the way they did dave chappelle do something didn't it wasn't he like i'm sure i read that he was in like an episode of Home Improvement or something. And he fucking had his own spinoff show for like a season. But it was just total garbage. Did I dream that? Was it Home Improvement? I can't remember.

He was in something weird. Dave Chappelle had a sitcom, very short-lived sitcom, which was awful. Dave Chappelle? Yeah, Dave Chappelle. It was called Buddies. Sorry, Sips had just woken up when we said no no you're right buddies but buddies was a spin-off from home improvements buddies it was cool yeah it was called buddies what the fuck let's have a look it only made 14 episodes he

was the lead rule lead role comedians dave chapelle and jim brewer attracted the attention of tv network executives with their guest appearances in one episode of home improvement the storyline had chapelle and brewer play friends who appeared together on Tool Time to ask Tim Taylor advice on their girlfriends. And that one outing was so popular, they gave them their own show. But it was awful. And I watched an interview with Dave Chappelle where he said it was just terrible. And he wasn't able to do any of the writing on it or anything like that.

So he was really pissed off. Oh my God. They recorded 13 episodes, but only five went out yeah it was so bad it was unheard man oh man so he thought it was all over like he was still doing stand-up i've watched a lot of i love dave chapelle's one of my favorite comedians and i watched a lot of interviews with him and he was saying like he was trying and he was you know he didn't understand how tv worked and he he eventually the dave chapelle show came out and it was huge like it was absolutely huge and the weird thing for me is that dave chapelle had been seeking

fame and trying to go out there and make it for such a long time and then the chapelle show was like colossal enormous hit and he made so much money from it that it freaked him out and like he just couldn't handle the pressure and he had to run off but uh he's in he's an amazing comedian but yeah it is weird he is very funny so chapelle show is i mean he's such a good comment i i can imagine how that buddy's thing works you know because we had a very similar situation where you know we wanted we were gonna look at making our own animation show thing and it was very quickly sort of taken out of our hands by other people and they were like well don't worry we got this guy who's written loads of stuff before he did the sonic the hedgehog animation did you see that that and like what he did like uh an episode of the simpsons uh

in 1992 it's like oh my god really and it was you know that's quite an accolade yeah it wasn't it was like a low imDB rating, but yeah. Do you know what I mean? What are we working with here? A guy who wrote his filmography as a Sonic the Hedgehog animation. This isn't really the right... Could you imagine Dave Chappelle doing a Chappelle show and the production company are like, yeah, we got a great script.

Got a great script from this guy. He's got a huge, huge filmography. Famous, famous stuff. He did The Naughty Professor. And he wrote two episodes of Tony Loves Chachi. Yeah, exactly. Exactly, P-Flex. I think a lot of it is that the people that work in films and TV are very protective of like their arena.

And they think that they know exactly what works. So if you're coming in with a good idea or you're really funny like Dave Chappelle and you want to do a show, they're like, yeah, we'll take it from here. You know, we have we have a way of doing these things and they have their own writers and their own producers. We have a way of doing these things. And they have their own writers and their own producers. And they really just want you to be the talent that walks around and says things. And maybe people will watch it because you're in it. They don't actually want you to have a show of your own.

A lot of comedians, I think, like Seinfeld, when he got his show, I don't know how much I'd have to, I'd love to know more about it. But I don't know those early episodes. Was it just him and Larry David? And it was like, they just gave them complete control. Because I feel like the show really found its feet after like season two i think a lot of what was in the show was sort of like you know like you know in the in the actual show when george and jerry pitched to nbc the show about nothing and everything i think a lot of that stuff was more or less their story because there was a lot of a lot of larry david's comedy is infused with

like his real life experiences like kramer was based on a real person that used to live close to it's definitely it's definitely coming back around to the whole office sort of scenario really of just these kind of everyday life experiences that everyone is is familiar with in some way or at least relatable you know it's that it's that real life like tangible reachable comedy that that you see exaggerated you know a little bit like you know things we we talk about that happen you know like simple stuff like my bath plug yeah like you know it's very much like daily life again or we how are you run over that one in case people didn't know just in case anybody forgot about it or but man i know so i'll be watching i've watched all the office

having a good time i never watched the uh american office i kind of i kind of just brushed it off or shrugged it off and didn't bother watching you should watch it it's genuinely brilliant but the reason i really the reason i didn't watch it was because i because it's steve carell's in it right yeah yeah and i just thought it was just gonna be him being him which was like funny years ago like i found him really funny like you know when he was on um the daily show and whatever right but you know like when he started getting big in hollywood and being in movies and stuff you know it just like it just makes like all those sounds and stuff and it's like again it's pretty funny but I thought that the office was just gonna be that you know it's like oh here no he's here comes our wacky boss like making these stupid high-pitched sounds and stuff you sure you've got the right fuck I don't

want to watch that at all it's not Jim Carrey yeah no but he's kind of like of like, at times he is a bit like that, isn't he? I do feel like maybe, I don't know whether people are watching my brain or whatever, but I was fed like, there's like Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan. Obviously, that's got bloody Jim from The Office in it. And I've also, because i saw him in the quiet place as well i watched that that was good that was good you know he's married to emily blunt holy shit i mean he's done well for himself definitely she's she's fine as who's the emily emily blunt hang on a second let me take a look here sips needs to update oh yeah she's english she's english

man you know who else is english that girl that's selling the bath water on uh on on the internet yes i was amazed i was so let down yeah how could you so fucking shit i when i was away this weekend i was at coxconn this weekend which is not a porn convention. It's for Jesse Cox. Was she there? No, she wasn't there. But people mentioned like the whole bath water thing or whatever. And it's one of those things that people sort of mention. It's like, oh, I can't believe that sort of thing.

It's whatever. But apparently she's got like on her Patreon, she does. We should do this. I think her top tier one is I'll do anything basically uh oh no and so somebody did the top one and said eat like a raw egg shell and all and so there's a video of her on the internet fucking eating an egg and there's just like fucking yolk and shit dripping down and she has to eat the shell and you just hear like crunching on the shell and stuff and oh my god it's like oh it's pretty hard to watch i watched it for like two seconds you watched it

for two hours yeah yeah you know fucking i talked about this a little bit before with duncan but basically i think it's like super good marketing you know she's not right selling the bath water she's selling other stuff she's selling the patreons she's selling herself like she's not right selling the bath water she's selling other stuff she's selling the patreon she's selling herself like she's selling like you know her brand everybody's heard of her now it's real clever yeah um it's super just worry if i was her her dad i'd be devastated that my daughter was um was on the internet uh selling her own bath water i'd be like what are you doing honey there's all these crazy people have you ever been to her twitter page no i didn't oh go check check it out right now flax go to uh what's her name is like bell delphine on uh on twitter yeah check it out right now god just delphine yeah it is it is just a master class in how to make

like a modern like nerd icon do you know i mean for for people on the internet who love anime. A masterclass. It is a masterclass. It's a masterclass, honestly. She's like following all the memes and trends and stuff, like all of the ahi-gao and all that stuff. Have you seen this? It's like, if you haven't, then just Google it up. I mean, I don't know what the future is here. She's incredibly anime.

She's basically a real-life anime. But, I mean, she's got really good camera future is here. She's incredibly anime. Yeah. She's basically a real-life anime. But, I mean, she's got really good camera stuff. I think she has a photographer. This is way too lewd. Like some guy. What? I can't follow this. What do you mean?

She's just, jeez. She's flashing all sorts of private parts of the thing. Your search engine is now fucked. Hey, I'll tell you something, right? I really embarrassed myself last week. Your search engine is now fucked. I'll tell you something, right? This is... I really embarrassed myself last week. I was going to Leicester to play Magic the Gathering, okay? I went up there to play Magic the Gathering.

We came last, but we had a lot of fun. From Belle Delphine to Magic the Gathering. This is the Triforce podcast. I wanted to change the subject. The subject had to change at some point, Lewis. Christ. That was a hard swerve though it was i was i was heading up there on the train and i was waiting at strawberry hill station

to get the train up to to king's cross and i'm waiting there at the platform and the thing says do not board the next train it's not for public use and i thought oh this will be interesting a train pulls in stops at the station and i'm listening to my music and I'm looking at my phone. And then I hear a list of stations being read off on the PA and I'm thinking, well, that sounds like my stations, but the train isn't here yet because there's this one. And then I see the doors open and the guard is making sure that everybody's got on and he's closing the doors. And I suddenly realized that that was the train, my train for public use. I don't know what the fuck the message was about so i start running down the platform to get on the train and the guard waves me off he's like too late and if i miss this train

i'm gonna miss my train and i'm like oh no and then he sees i'm sort of all dejected i give this dejected slump and he sort of stops a second then he blows his whistle one more time and he waves to me like get on the train so i'm running and as I'm just getting on the train, I stop, and I blow him this big theatrical kiss, like, mwah! Nice. And I thought, why did I blow a kiss to the guard? And he kind of looked at me a bit like, huh? And I got on the train and sat down and hoped that he didn't walk through the carriage and say,

did you just blow a kiss to me? Because I was really humiliated. But I got there on time. That's it. Nice. Sorry, I'm just processing. We're just browsing. That's all right. It was for the viewers or the listeners. It's not. Nice. Sorry, I'm just processing. We're just browsing. That's all right.

It was for the viewers or the listeners. It's not for you. Nice. I need to close this browser window. But it reminded me of there's an episode of Seinfeld where George has to jump over a puddle and he jumps over it in a rather theatrical way and gets chased down the street by the kids.

It just made me think of that. That was my jumping over a puddle moment. That was your jumping over a puddle moment? This Belle Delphine is winking in every single picture she's ever posted online. I've had to close the browser window. I can't keep it up there. It's too distracting. Yeah, the Lewis just couldn't fucking stand for one moment longer.

The master class. It was just too much for him. I don't think there's any actual nudes. I think she's never released a nude or a nipple or anything. There's a nude. I don't think there's any nudes. I think it's all very much like titillation. It's all very clever.

I didn't know much about her until like, obviously, you know, the whole sort of bathwater meme thing started going. I can't remember why I happened to cross her on Twitter. And I was surprised to say least, by what I saw. And delighted. No, no. No, I want to say for the record, I wasn't particularly delighted. It's just there's a million ways to skin a cat, isn't there? Wait, we're off the hook.

She was born in South Africa. Right, okay. What do you mean? Thank God. there there's the wait there's we're off the hook she was born in south africa right okay thank god thank god i mean i didn't want one of my people the the proud british people degrading themselves eating eggs for money and selling bath water the egg is a tough watch honestly i've been on the internet for a long time i've seen a lot of shit i feel like i've done the equivalent of like you know seven or eight tours of duty like if we were talking like war terms or whatever and uh that egg eating thing was a tough one i couldn't i couldn't really watch much of it at all i just i mean so awkward and it was just so weird like i don't know get her in the ox gasslers we could use some more egg eaters. We need... We can't... We need people. I'm sure Hatfields have eaten worse.

Holy shit. Egg eaters. I don't know. Is it one of the cases where as soon as she opens her mouth and actually says something, she's completely obnoxious or does it shatter the... I don't know. I've never even heard her speak before. She's got like a...

I saw a video with her talking... Is she the full package? She's got quite a sweet like Surrey accent or something, you know? Oh, really? She's just a regular Santa girl. Okay. Girl next door. She's not like some shrieking.

She's got it all sewn up. I'm going to eat your head, governor! She's going to be huge, mark my words. I think she already is, though. She's got four and a half million followers on Instagram. Well, there you go. I mean, that's... I mean, she's already absolutely massive,

but I think it's only going to get bigger, think that's crazy it's crazy yeah what could we do on our patreon that isn't degrading and yeah happily do how can we catapult ourselves up to the dizzying heights of four and a half million followers on instagram do we even have an instagram well you need to first of all, sign up to Instagram. I have an Instagram. I'm on Instagram. I'm on Instagram. Real Perian Flax is on Instagram. I got messages from Triforce fans all the time. Okay. Hey, here's a picture of me at work and stuff. And I'm like, cool. I don't get anything like that on Instagram. My Instagram account. Okay. I started it up because I have a problem where I live with seagulls shitting on my laundry that's

drawing on the line. And so I kind of use my Instagram account as a photo evidence journal of this stuff. So actually, my Instagram account is just pictures of my dad shorts with shit on them as they're hanging on the line. That's well, i think this is a couple of smears up the wall as well my instagram rule is i do not smile in any of my instagram pictures wow so if you look at any of them they're all me looking surly right like every single one i like this i like how we all have a theme for our instagram accounts what's your theme lewis i think you have to and also i think that you i there's a thing people do is when they see like a popular person, you've seen this, doing like a pose, like Belle Dauphine in her bath, right? Pouring water on herself. You need to take that same picture from the same angle in your bath.

Okay? Do you know what I mean? Okay. Like you need to try and, to see what she's doing and just copy it you know she's like leaning over with her sexy underwear you're like picking up a child's toy like hold it onto your back oh you gotta take the equivalent picture you know she's like sexily eating like a hot dog you're like you know burning one on the barbecue i don't know it needs to be like it needs to sexually i don't think i can compete honestly i think like i think i gotta find a different way lewis i don't know it needs to be like it needs to sexually i don't think i can compete

honestly i think like i think i gotta find a different way lewis i don't think i can match you know what i mean what you haven't got the the figure i don't think i i don't think i do i don't think i got the looks i don't think i got the personality i don't think i have the chutzpah i don't think i have the uh I don't think I can pronounce chutzpah. I don't think I have the... I don't think I have all those things that make somebody popular on Instagram. You know what I mean?

Do you know what it is? You have some fucking self-respect. Oh, it's Instagram. It's a young person's game, big time, right? Yeah, but the ones that are big have no self-respect. They'll do anything. Your fucking Instagram, PFLAX, looks like my dad's Facebook

I know that's the vibe man you can try to go young or you can just accept who you are you're trying to bring the respect back to Instagram you understand why you've had to take a selfie but it's basically it looks like those

old people posts where you've been confronted with the thing which says we now need to take a picture of you to get to this next stage and so you just literally press the button yeah not really realizing that it's taking a picture of you and then that's what you've uploaded yep i love it man also two of the two of the two of the six pictures are the top six pictures of you holding a gigantic stein of beer yeah that's when i'm very happy i think you should make it a beer like a beer one of them is that the the big the ein gross that i got in germany which was great and one of them is a double cider that you could get

in birmingham it's a double pint it's two pints in one i was i've never been happier in my life i i think you should you should just make it a passion project. Every post should be you drinking a beer or you drinking something. There's always this. It's always been a thing. And some of them are terrible. But it's a guy on YouTube who smokes a different cigarette every day

or checks out a Lyft every day. There's always those weird, shitty channels. I don't need a gimmick. I can't even remember. I don't want a gimmick. I can't remember what my Instagram is, but I want you guys to take a look at it now

let me just have a quick look and see the real sips I'll look for sips no it's like hi I am sips or something like that I think

hi it's sips hi it's me sips or something you've got three pictures on there one of bird poo on trousers three of they're all bird poo

yes that's mine one on the wall right hi it's sips trousers and one on another pair of trousers. In three, there's just bird shit on things. I see what I mean. And now it's summer again.

There's 7,000 followers. Wow. On your three bird shit covered pictures. Your last Insta post was like a year ago. I know. Well, I told you I set up the account very specifically for one thing. I'm just... And then I kind of like lost lost interest you know it didn't it didn't get a million overnight and i

was just like that's not worth my time i'm gonna follow you guys you know i'm looking it up you don't follow me on insta well i took over the yogscast one and obviously it wasn't following you lewis dot brindley is that you no i'm yog's cast oh this is this person says listen to this hi lewis brindley is my life wow that's what she says you're holding it's just old pictures of you like really old pictures of you wow like how old are we talking like uh the vegas minecon pictures and stuff i'm talking slightly chubby faced lewis with glasses those those are the ones. Nice. Dream. A dream boy. A dream boy pictures, yeah. Fresh face, young, chubby, water retaining ass motherfucker. Oh, man.

Water retaining motherfucker. Water retaining ass, John Travolta, neck fucking chipmunk cheek motherfucker. Yeah, so, sorry, Lewis, instagram what kind of things uh do you uh post on instagram i just post it like pictures of stuff mostly just plugs of like when i'm streaming and stuff and uh occasionally pictures of things i've done and where i am right and people i tried to make an effort to post something every day right i found it i can't even find you i found it really hard like i really wanted to be able to use social media it's something i've never been able to do i find social media i don't know about you guys but i find it utterly soul destroying and depressing

i i get like no joy out of being on social media like no neither me it's it's such a fucking cesspool isn't it like holy crap all right i want you guys to look for lewis brindley all one word look at this guy's instagram account sorry about the blooming soaring going on and my neighbor's having a loft conversion oh man lewis brindley his name is lewis brindley nba houston rockets comic books batman all right right okay if you look down at picture number seven and look at that sort of weird cockeyed smile that he's doing look at how many pictures he makes that that's his pose right that's his photo pose that's what i'm trying to combat with my surly dad pose because you're right he has a lot of the tilted head oh my god it's

all the way down like everyone has that though everyone has their camera face slightly lopsided smile looks like he's looks like he just said something that he kind of took as an insult he's trying to figure it out if you meant it that way if it was a compliment that's the kind of face he's got that's it i think i'm on the wrong thing instagram lewis brindley it's obviously not mine but it's not yours because look at this dude he's he's a hunk he is it's a hunk a chunk of burning love well he's welcome to have that instagram do you know i mean like how good of you what i'm i basically my attitude towards social media is i know i should use it because certain people

want to use it and they they want to be like notified of stuff that's that's gone out and i want to post some stuff somewhere like i do have some pictures and interesting shit that happens occasionally right but you know and I want to just throw it out there so it's got a place to to go but I think if it's like sufficiently interesting whereas if it's not that interesting it could just go on twitter I don't know I don't know I've never liked it I really wanted to try and be like you know someone who who used it properly and smartly but i i just and i tried to train myself to be that egotistical asshole who wants to take a picture of his face every day right and i couldn't do it i could not basically what i'm saying is that i'm my ego is intact man i don't know i'm looking through this right now and it

looks like you've done it like there's a lot of pictures of you on here there is but it's not daily and i've had to every time i post a lot of pictures of you on here. There is, but it's not daily. And I've had to, every time I post a picture of myself, I'm uncomfortable. I don't know. You're uncomfortable. You know what kind of comments I get when I post a picture? Look at this old fucker. He looks like an egg.

Oh, look, it's Himmler. Like it's just continual. It doesn't bother me. It's just part of it. You've got to have fun with it. If people are going to find pleasure in laughing at your dome or your resemblance to one of the prime movers in the Third Reich, so be it, as long as it entertains people.

So when you post on Instagram, Lewis, does it post to Twitter as well? It can do. I have a program that does it. I just have a link where it says, do you want to share it to Twitter? And I do. Where do you link that? It's just one of the options. You just link it to other accounts. And when you go to tweet, it just says, do you want to share it to twitter and i do where it is where do you link that it's just one of the options you just link it to other accounts and when you go to tweet it just says do you want to tweet this to when you post it on insta it'll say to you do you want to

tweet this as well and i was like hell yeah i see i'm not yeah i had to i used like a there's like a couple of things you can use i think i used a little there's loads of little websites that kind of like there's like a one called like if if this, then that, which is quite good, which basically is like an automation thing. I'd like to try and automate more shit in my life, you know, and some people have all done that really well. Like, for example, they'll be like, you know, when I get home, you know, connect my phone to the home Wi-Fi and upload all my pictures to the Dropbox and turn the lights on and do you know i mean when when my phone goes within range of my when i leave i turn off all the lights automatically show me like like people have automated stuff a lot with these types of program and yeah yeah

they can really be quite cool but actually like fuck it like how much effort is it to actually pull the light switch are you really like saving like five seconds a day by spending like two hours setting up something that doesn't work all the time no yeah no every time i try and rig something up it always doesn't quite work properly do you mean right like i had um i had a light sensor in my old place and sorry like a motion sensor and the idea was that when i went like at 10 o'clock I would have the lights like dim a little bit so I'd be like okay so I'm getting ready to like it's because I had like hue bulbs in my old place and but every time I was like doing something like either reading a book or like painting a model or something and the lights were dim and I'd have to go manually

turn like the light back on and then the motion sensor would just turn them back down again and I'd be like for fuck's sake can I have to turn the motion sensor around it was more faff than it was worth basically oh man i tried to like like automate healthy habits and it just ended up being more more trouble than it was worth i'm not very good i'd like to i think i think in in an ideal world i'd love to have like these cool automated things helping me out but actually it's never it's never all that straightforward is it you know honestly the other thing is you give all this control to these big to big tech big tech yeah talk about big pharma what about they're spying on you when you're taking pictures of a bird shit on your shorts they're triangulating they they know they know where you live and they know you're they know

they know the kind of stuff that you're buying and fuck Those shorts that they bought for H from H&M looks like you got Coming down at a 45 degree trajectory. Here's one for you about 45 degree trajectories I was talking to a guy who's a prototype engineer, right? All right, shout out to Peter He's a top lad met him at the magic thing You know some guys that do Prototypes for like the defense industry and stuff like this. And one of the ones they're working on,

I think they call it the marked man hypothesis. This is a drone hypothesis and they put it into like test phases. So you have two drones. It's an assassination drone system. Whoa. You have one drone that goes around and looks at people, facial recognition.

It can do this in a crowd. It goes around and if it finds one recognition it can do this in a crowd it goes around and if it finds one of the people it's looking for it gets their attention with this little drone they sort of you know it's like a weird looking it's got something weird looking on the front that draws your attention while you're looking at it hovering several hundred meters up in the air above is the secondary drone which is just a piece of aluminium in the shape of a spike and this drone just goes straight into the face of the person.

Whoa. Wow. So it's like facial recognition assassination of like high value targets, no collateral damage. But for some reason it's scarier to me having a big spike crack into your head because a drone recognised you or thought it recognised you than dropping a bomb on someone. For me it's scarier even though a bomb should be far more terrifying. But there's something very, very deliberate and specific

about a machine deciding, oh, it's so-and-so, quick, launch the aluminium spike, and it goes into your head, and that's that. He also told me another amazing story. This is unbelievable. I'm not even sure that this is true, but I like it anyway. Well, I mean, the first one sounded like something it sounds crazy right a one-off scene in like a like blade runner do you know what i mean or something yes you know so there's like a big

crowd of people one of them's being hunted and they're like yeah so this guy this friend a friend of his um worked for a big university and they do a lot of testing on animals at big universities like drug testing and and stuff like that when they do it they they sometimes have to breed um these animals specifically to have like a particular genetic defect or whatever so that they can test the the the drug so when they do this they tend to breed like 10 000 of these guinea pigs literal guinea pigs that all have like they're all missing their legs or they've all got no fur or they've all got one eye so you can't like sell them on as pets afterwards because they've been genetically modified they're all identical as well so you don't want to put them out into the guinea

pig gene gene pool so at the end of the testing they have to destroy them all i'm this is i'm not saying either way whether this is a good thing or a bad thing i'm just saying this is one of the things that happens. Yikes. So they've got these 12,000 guinea pigs. And sometimes when they do the medical testing, it works like first time. So they test it. Oh, it worked.

And then they have to test it another like 30 or 40 times to make sure. Okay, well, that works. Trial over. But you've still got 11,960 guinea pigs that you don't need anymore. You can't give away and you can't use them for another trial, so they have to destroy them. So what they have is this big box with a door on it. And what they've got is they've got two drones, okay?

The first drone goes up and faces you. The thing is, it would recognize all the guinea pigs. They're clones of each other. So you put them in the cabinet, you close the drawer, and then it releases this gas that kills them painlessly. They just like they get hypoxia and asphyxiate but it's like, they don't panic. It's like, you know, if you if you suffer from hypoxia at very high altitudes, you just you

laugh and then you go to sleep and you die. It's terrible, but it's obviously better than just whacking them on the head with something. So this guy's job was to kill the guinea pigs. And he's put them in one at a time, like he was told. And after a while, he turns around and there's this huge pile of guinea pigs still to go. And he's starting to lose his mind all day long. He's just killing guinea pigs,

killing guinea pigs one at a time. So he starts putting in a few more each time. By the end of it, he's putting so many in that he has to lean on the door to close it so he can kill these poor guinea pigs. And it changed him forever. Like he had to stop doing it worst job i could possibly think of horrible holy shit i can't i can't believe that

is that so that's a story you heard from a guy from his friend or something it's a good story even if it's not true but it could be true yikes just think you know just think your job in the office with all those assholes it's not that bad it could be worse it could be worse right now right Jesus Christ you might live with like the Fonz upstairs

and think oh it's fucking horrible but no it could be worse you could be squeezing guinea pigs into a gas chamber

all day holy shit fuck me that is some nightmare fuel right there that concludes this week's thanks for that flax

what a good one to end on in my uh in my in my bathroom with my head in the toilet for the rest of the day now well make sure you don't use the bath because the plugs kind of trick you. Yeah, I know. It gets stuck very easily, actually. Fuck. All right. Thanks, everybody. See you next week. Bye.

See you later. Bye.