Triforce! - Triforce Crapwater Revival Revival | Triforce Mailbag #65

Episode Date: December 3, 2025

Triforce Mailbag Special 65! We get a curious collection of country jingles in our mailbag today (while demanding the ~ladies~ bring in some jingles), we talk about the biblical significance of the first suck and get a surprise visit from Simon once again! Go to http://auraframes.com and use code TRIFORCE to get $20 off their best-selling Carver Mat frame. Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This Giving Tuesday, Cam H is counting on your support. Together, we can forge a better path for mental health by creating a future where Canadians can get the help they need, when they need it, no matter who or where they are. From November 25th to December 2nd, your donation will be doubled. That means every dollar goes twice as far to help build a future where no one's seeking help is. left behind. Donate today at camh.ca.ca slash giving Tuesday. Get no frills, delivered. Shop the same in-store prices online and enjoy unlimited delivery with PC Express Pass. Get your first year for $2.50 a month. Learn more at pcexpress.ca. Take it away, P-Flax.

This is your one, isn't it? Oh, hello. Welcome to the mailbox. Oh, hello. Hello, it's you. Goodness. I wasn't ready. You caught him off guard.

He wasn't already. Yeah, it's another mailbag episode. Thank goodness. Wow, you sound so fucking excited for it. God, we're so fucking excited. Oh, no. Well, don't worry. You can have a little nap.

Me and Sips will carry it for a bit. All right. I can forward you the emails and you can read them. If he's allowed to have a sleeping, I should be too, I can go back to bed. Did you hear they did their word of the year or whatever? Yeah, I know what it is. What is it? Cunch.

No, even better. It's 6-7. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. I don't think it is. It is. Yeah, it was the dictionary's word of the year. I thought it was Henry or whatever, high earner, not rich yet.

Have you heard this term? Oh, God, I haven't actually. The idea, there's a subreddit called Arsler, R-Sach Henry, and it's all caps. And basically, the idea is that it's for, I think it's something like that anyway. I can't remember. High earner. Not actually Henry. No, no relationship yet.

Is that? Let's do the mailbag. All right. Here's one. Here's one from Charlie, all right? This is how long we've been doing this podcast. It feels like it transcends time. Charlie said, listen.

I listened to the podcast while sleeping, which is why he's emailed us at 4 a.m. in the morning, recently, I've caught up and looped back around. In episode seven, that's Zen for you, baby. May 2016, Lewis made a comment that he greatly enjoys the once a week episodic nature of Game of Thrones versus the instant gratification of Netflix binging. I know that in more recent episodes, he seemed to now have great disdain for weekly releases and prefers the brain mulching. I understand it's 10 years ago, And now he's a jaded, so things may have changed. But what thought it was interesting, how his perspective differs? So what's the deal?

It was a different time. And I think even, I think still I quite enjoy, I think certain content needs to be broken up and delayed, right? And it's better to have it more gradually. Whereas other stuff I just want to, I don't know, I don't know. Yeah, do you know what? I have changed. Maybe I've changed.

Maybe I prefer, you're allowed to, by the way, that, you know, people do. I think it's good that people change. Like, you wouldn't want to stay the same all the time. I think you're an ever-evolving person who's changing their ideas. You never change in Lulu in which we live in. If you look through... If you look through... He's a podcast.

I'm sure I've contradicted myself. Probably we all have many times. Yeah, absolutely. Of course we have. We're human beings who are... I'm allowed to do that. In the last 10 years, I think... years, I think it'd be crazy if you didn't change your mind on a couple of things and do things

differently, of course you're going to change. 10 years ago, I would have considered myself a feminist, but now I fucking hate bitches. He hates bitches. He said it as well. It's the new generation that are all conservative that are doing this to you, Pflex. You're just down with the kids if you hate bitches. That's what I'm saying. I jest, ladies, I'm only joking.

I love you all. We've got some songs here. By the way, here's one thing that the ladies could do, that all the fellas are doing this, ladies, oh, ladies, so-called vagina havers, actually what I would say, gaping vagina havers, where are your songs? I only get lads sending me songs that they've written for the mailbag.

I've got three here as an example. Bran, Adam, and Jonah. Where's Tina? Where's Lucy? Where's Marcia? Where's Sharonda? Where are the songs? Get your songs in.

Here's, here's Brands. Were you guys ready to play this one? Yeah, as ready as I'll ever be. Hang on a second. Yeah. Okay, play it in three, two, one play. Oh, it's the mail bag. Wow.

Oh, love it. Ten seconds of. Do you know, I think that's perfect. I like stuff like it's like a little zinger. I'm just going to play it again, because I'm just going to play it again. All right, you're going to play it again. I'll play it again as well. Three, two, one, play.

Oh, it's the male band. It's a male band. Oh, it's a male band. Oh, it's a male band. Oh, it's a male band. I love that. Yeah, okay. I like a song that.

It starts off with just, and then all the instruments are like, like straight into the chorus. Love that, Brian. Fantastic. Oh. This is from Adam. It's such a cowboy,

It does. It does. This also has a country energy. I don't know what's happening this week. Energy is country, all right? Are you ready? This is Adam's song. This is fantastic.

Three, two, one, a play. My podcast made a podcast about your podcast and they don't like it too much. Anyway, I don't have a podcast. Sing my voice. If you have a tiny penis or even a gay from vision oh are you sure sonny and look down because i think that you'll find something similar to mine because you're listening to the triforce male boy oh god thank you very it sounds like like bob dillon it is very dillon has done a cameo for us it was very dillon-esque it's

It starts with a little low, low-volume muttering, and then a little plinky guitar. It does sound like he's on a stage in a bit of a big room and they're all quiet around. They're craning their ear, yeah. I love songs that start with like not music, you know. Like you'll hear like a clinking of like glass or like it sounds like a busy room, but it's not that loud. And then it'll launch into like an energetic song. You feel like you're there. It's teleporting.

Whoever invented that is a genius. I invented it It really pumps you up big time I'm going to show these to sparkles because we're working on some music at the moment for Yog Labs and stuff I'm not kidding I'm an excellent songwriter

get me in I wrote Mums in Space for Christ's sake I can't believe I've been doing a podcast with the guy who wrote Mums in Space this whole time okay cheese let's do that I'll write you a fucking song

we'll get a jam session yeah I'll write you a fucking song I'll bring the toast You're going to use it. Exactly. All right. This is from Jonah. Are you ready for this?

I haven't listened. I haven't pre-listened to this one. I listened to the other two. I haven't pre-listened this one. Wanted to surprise myself. If it's just noise, I'm going to be furious. We'll be upset. Jonah, don't let us down.

Three, two, one, a palet. I'm not disappointed. I have a tiny penis. I love that. Oh my God. You don't hear banjo players much anymore, you know? Yeah. This guy and Steve Martin, that's basically it.

That's basically it. Penis. Do you reckon he's played that himself, Jonah? Because that is that if he has. Sounds like it. Yes, of course he's had to have. Yeah. You can tell because his voice isn't close to his phone or whatever he's recorded it on.

Yeah. So he's had to set up his band. I have a tiny penis. Deng-da-lang-dang-dang-dang-dum-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-all. That's right. All of these They've got a real theme to them These have all been really good ones, yeah

I reckon if we got these three lads in a band We'd have a fucking band And it would be a bang It'd be like Credence Clearwater Revival Revival Yeah, it would be the Revival

They'd be reviving the previously revived Incredible Oh, TriForce May Chiforce crap water revival The Triphus Crappwater Revival

Yeah Yeah, crap water. All right, this is from Alex. This may seem a little egotistical, but I wanted to read this out because I thought it was quite a sweet email. And I had, I actually remember when this happened. I just wanted to share a story that's been stuck in my head for a few years. Back in 2018, my wife and I were on our honeymoon on the Royal Caribbean's Oasis of the seas, the biggest ship in the world at the time.

And who do I spot wandering around the deck but Perium Flags? Nice. As a try for us listener since day one, I had to say hello. so I nervously walked up and blurted out I have a tiny penis and probably terrified my new wife in the process. Ted was polite and we spoke briefly, but I was far too starstruck to say much more. Months later, Ted mentioned on the podcast he'd been on the cruise

and confirmed that it really had been him. So, yes, Alex, that was me. I do actually remember that quite well. And I had two feelings. First of all, it was very weird that there happened to be a Triforce fan on the same boat as me. I thought that was unusual. But also, I realized that I was now trapped at sea with a Triforce fan.

So everywhere you went, you would, like, go for a jog? Oh, hey, you again? Oh, no. Like, did you just bump into him, like, repeatedly? Yeah. I'm checking under the bed every time they came in the room in case he was waiting. Oh, hey, Alex, good to see you under there. What are you doing in my room again?

You die tonight. Yes, thank you. You say that every day. Oh, man. Though, I, I get it. But I also think that, in a sense. sense, that's why you're on a cruise to make new friends, right? I think that's why people do cruise.

Older people definitely, that's why they cruise. Is it worse? They want to meet new people. I don't think that's it. In a sense, is it worse to make friends with someone a complete stranger or someone who already knows you, right? And the relationship is obviously very one side because you don't know them at all. But, you know, is that better or worse?

Because you know he's going to kind of like be nice to you because he, you know, he's a fan or whatever. Here's the thing, making new friends is, who's got time for that? You don't think any listeners would be your friend? No, I don't think so. I've made a few friends from listeners. I don't think I don't think anyone would be my friend. I think that's fine. I think it's a bit different when you've got like, I mean, I know we've said this before,

but I feel like when you're married and you have kids, you're less inclined to seek out new friendships and stuff Because you've got enough going on already, you know? I think about this, you know what I mean? Okay, I think about this from time to time because I remember meeting certain YouTubers and being incredibly awkward or like, like, I'm a fan. Like, I think I met, I talked, I met Brian Kibble once and I was so awkward. Brian Kibble? Brian Kibbler.

The Magic the Gathering, Highstone guy, yeah. Yeah, I think he's a bit sick of Hathstone, to be honest. You can tell. I think he's losing the will to live playing the new past to be sick of it. It's been out for so long, you know, it's just, it's tough. I always sort of, you know, every time I see some, and he and a few others that I've met him over the time and just being a little bit awkward around, I've not cultivated a friendship

with them. But other people have done it very well and have been becoming friends, such as like the longest Johns and the no-Rosbard guys or like Spiff or going back further, like, UP P-Flex, you know, I think we, our interactions when we first met were not, I wasn't like, oh, I'm a huge fan of your Dota animations, P-Flex, can I hang out with you? Can I be your friend, want to do a podcast with me? You didn't say that, did you? That's exactly what he said.

Don't you remember the first time you guys ever made. I remember. You know, but I think that there's, basically, if you're saying that this fan that you met on the cruise gave a bad impression. No, no, no, no, no, no. He didn't want to hang out with him any further. No, no, I think that was all jokes That was not the case

Was he wearing like We invented a we invented a joking scenario around An England football shirt Was he not like a cool Was he not the kind of guy you'd want to be seen I don't think Lewis gets it No, I didn't say any of this I don't think you understand what's happening

I don't think you're only joking I think it's because you're on a holiday with your family On a cruise and that's like You know you didn't even enter my mind It was just a joke I had no problem meeting the guy at all No but I think from my point of view though There are like two worlds.

No, there's no point of view. There's no two worlds at all. It was just a joke. A met a fan on the ship and I was like, hey, it's lovely to meet you. That was it. Go away, please. And then he gets pushed overboard later on. We just created this like a like a Seinfeld situation out of it.

Yeah. It would have been funny. But like I get it. I'm on the same though. Met somebody said, hi, how are you doing nice to meet you? And that was it. End of. End of.

It's like when I'm, you know, I went at the end of with my parents. And, you know, I'm stood around and it's like, you know, was it at a Chinese restaurant? Did you spend the whole night? Did you spend the whole night waiting for a table? And, you know, if a fan approaches me in that situation, which has happened, it's much more difficult to, because it's like my world is being, you know, I was like, oh, no, not now.

So I mean, but other times when, you know, if I'm at like at the Windrose gig or whatever, you know, and I get recognized, I'll be like, oh, lovely to meet you. Do you know what I mean? Did the lead singer of Windrose recognition? We got a special guest here in the house tonight. It's good, my day. Yeah, I was going to have. Did that happen?

Well, because Sparkles went up and sang on stage, sang digging on stage. Oh, I saw a clip of that. Incredible. Did I tell you, we had to talk about this at all going down? Talk about what? But going to Windrose? No.

You just, yeah, no. I mean, I saw a clip of Sparkles on the stage singing. I think I talked about it. No, you did. The one thing I remember, and the one thing I will take away from it, is that you go to any other gig, right? Yeah. And everyone is very delineated, whereas at a metal gig, everyone looks the same, right? Right.

The manager is wearing the same clothes as the audience is wearing the same clothes as the band. Yeah. I mean, everyone is like, you can't tell. You know, you meet a guy. It's a lifestyle. And you're like, is this, because they all wear, like, it's like a uniform. It's like a metal t-shirt with some unreadable text, long hair, you know. But no, there's a vibe.

And I think, you know, obviously, going to like a Justin Bieber gig or whatever, every group is very different and identifiable. Speaking of gigs, I am going to see the Wu-Tang Clan in March, the final chamber tour. They're going to be in London, me and Ramss. Are they going to open the final chamber? They're finally opening the final chamber. Yeah, this is, I think this is their, they're like, they got the strength for it. This is their farewell tour, yeah. It's quite heavy.

Put their back out. Once in a lifetime. Yeah. Young Dirty Bastard isn't even young anymore. He's just Dirty Bastard now. He's become old, yeah. That's not a great nickname, is it? Well, he's got a follow in his middle-aged dirty bastard.

Yeah, that's it. Yeah, old dirty bastard now would be even older if he wasn't gone. But yeah, we're excited. It'll be fun. I don't know who's opening for them or anything, but it's at the O2. We're going to see them at the O2 Arena, which is, of course, the Millennium Dome. We did talk about this. Yeah.

We did talk about it. Yeah. So, this is, this is from, this is from Noah. Over the last few podcasts, Lewis has mentioned the term friend slop. Oh, yeah, yeah. Friends Slop. We've been, we've been just, we've been talking about Friends Slop a lot recently. I'm up on the modern words.

There's a lot of Friends Slop out there. Right. Like Peak, Repo and Lethal Company, some examples. Peak and RV, where RV going. Peak and RV there yet probably are the, are the standout friend Slop games. Whereas I think Pek, you can play solo, whereas R be there yet would be tedious as hell playing solo. They kind of are only playable, really, with a couple of funny friends. Apparently, they're only fun if you have funny friends.

That's the rules for you. Yeah. So let's let Noah finish his thought here. I feel like this term must have been coined by some marketing executive at a AAA game publisher, who was salty that their $400 million game didn't sell as well as these friends-slop. games made by one to three people in their spare time. Don't let the man brainwash you into thinking these games are anything less than great. Yorkscar's games published Play-Up, and I feel like that falls safely into the

Friends Slop category. Doesn't mean it isn't a great game. So, first of all, I would say that Play-Up is a fantastic game. I wouldn't call it Friends Slop. No. Because I think it's too well-made. Yeah. I think some of these Friend Slop games are literally quite shabbily made, and that's kind of the

jank is part of the fun. Like, lethal company was extremely janky and felt, I think it was one guy that made it, right? It really did feel like it was just boshed together, which I love. Same thing with phasmaphobia, the OG, right? Phasmophobia was like a janky as fuck, right? Jank heaven, but hilarious. That's a great. And I think we are on to season two of these games.

Peak isn't made by like a small team. AgroCrabb made a really successful game in other crab's treasure, which is very highly reviewed. It was in Jiggle Jam. They're great guys. Landfall's a big company, you know, they published tabs and tons of other huge games. So, you know, this isn't a small, this isn't one guy trip. Indeed.

Peek knew what they were doing to make this. And it's a very conscious decision to stylize these characters in this way. Yeah. Yeah. He does feel polished, yeah. You know, talking to other people, you know, like Boba and stuff, you know, Boba's saying to me, you know, you want to make a game. You should make a game that looks like Peek. You should make a game that looks like Little Company or really.

Because, you know, that stylized, silly character, multiplayer, you know, everyone doing dumb things, laughable, laughable, clippable moments. It's, it gets picked up on by the AAAs and you see it. Like, I mean, Arc Raiders, which you guys have been playing this week is, is the evolution of the, you know, the Tarkov, which is non-Steem. None of these games look janky at all, though. Tarkov and Arc Raiders look phenomenal. But they're the polished versions of escape. It's almost like a genre. I think, like all of these games.

And I would say games with friends, like casual friend games, like you call you referred to them as slop, which seems unfair. I know. It does seem unfair. I agree. It seems unfair, but I don't, I don't mind the term to describe a type of game. Like if somebody says friend slop, I know exactly what games are talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I don't mind that. I don't think it takes anything away from those games. I play a lot of them and enjoy them. I think they're fun. Well, I think they were hoping that AI slop would be. a kind of term that would catch on and be negative, but it feels like everyone, I just read

the thing on, I know, I know Arc Raiders is a huge thing, but I read the AI description of it today on Steam, and it's so cleverly worded, let me read this to you, it says, during the development process, we may use procedural and AI-based tools, so it's not just AI, but it's procedural

tools, to assist with content creation. In all cases, the final product reflects the creativity and expression of our own development team. Wow. So that basically means we have used AI as much or as little as we liked, and there you go. But we've done it in a, we spun it in a way that's like, you know, our team is on board for using it.

We haven't replaced people. Exactly. The tools creatively. Our team is still creative and we've used them. You know what? That is just like a very clever little way that you're going to see on every game from now on. Apparently, apparently a lot of the voice lines flag. I know because I say this to Flax because I know Flax plays it because I played it with them.

A lot of the voice lines around, you know, when you ping an item, you say like, I have an egg. Yeah. I got some moss. I got a prickly pear. Yeah, yeah. All of that stuff is, is AI generated apparently. Well, you could understand why. They probably use a lot of procedural tools because it just means now in the life cycle of the game, if they're adding more and more items, because there's a new map coming out this month, actually.

And, you know, there might be new areas with new types of loot or whatever. So that means that they can just sort of plug it in and just say, yeah, generate voices for all of these new items. They don't have to get back into the studio. They don't have to get the recording booth. But that is also true for anything that uses AI for voice. And it is just basically putting voice actors out of work. I'm not saying it's a great thing. Well, listen, I know.

But there's just as an example, though, right? There's a game that came up called Mimesis. Mimesis. Yeah, I heard of the Memmosis. Mimosis. And you remember Lethal Company there was a mod

that recorded you and played you back to other players like when you got zombieified and stuff. So you'd be like, Hello! And it was notorious when it came out

because it was saving all of those WAV files of you shouting this stuff onto your own hard drive and so people were having like hundreds of gigs of their own recording blocking up their hard drive

and it was very funny and unoptimized but that's what you get with mods But that mod, obviously, and the lethal company and the Friends sort of vibe was turned into this horror sort of mimesis game that, again, but it uses AI to record you and copy your voice and your behavior and the way you speak and then play it back. And that kind of use of AI is more interesting, I think, than what, you know, than just replacing people, right? Yeah, I think just I'm not up for just replacing people just because it's like, oh, we can save a couple of nickels on the production costs. And, you know, like, I don't like that at all. But, I mean, if you're using these tools, like, cleverly, where it doesn't actually impact people, I don't mind that.

Like, I don't really have a problem with that. I agree. My only concern, if I may, my only concern is that if a game is good or we like a product, we make excuses for its use of AI. We wouldn't if it was shit. Yeah. That's the only thing. That would just be another thing to complain about. And the other thing is this relies on the goodness of people, right?

I've always relied on the goodness of people. It's like the old idea of the nobility being, having a responsibility to look after their people in their village or whatever. You know, the king, he had an equal level of responsibility to, you know, who's given all these privileges, but, you know, he had a duty. And of course, that only goes so far because you could just have a bad king or a king who decide to do nothing. It relies, it does come down on the morals of that person. Now, it goes for everything on this kind of thing, right? You've got a guy who's making a game and he's like,

well, you know, I'm going to prototype all of my stuff with AI and I'll replace it later once the game's successful. Of course, don't have to, right? It's not like these guys, when they make their million, you know, it's like the high earner and not rich yet. What is rich, right, for you? And that and what is enough for you? One trillion dollars. I see this a lot when I reach out for jingle jam, right? Like, a game that's had no success, sometimes it's willing to just get in jingle jam to try and get their game played by people because that's what they want. But as soon as they cross this sort of imaginary threshold in their mind where the game's suddenly a source of, you know, they're living. They're like, well, this game's now making enough to pay for me to do

this amount. So I can't risk it anymore. And then as soon as it's made a certain amount, they're like, well, this game's made a certain amount. Now, it can make more, right? It's worth so much. And then, you know, do you get more people involved? You get, like, other people involved with the investment and things like this. And it changes the dynamic, right? And I think it changes people's mindsets. This idea of this whole high earner not rich yet, it's entirely, sometimes nothing is enough, right, for people. You know, sometimes you'll never consider yourself rich.

I think it's very hard to do that. Like, I think I've referred to myself as rich previously because I think I probably am. You know, I've, I've just, I've basically spent everything I've got on this big new house. I'm going to move to. Did you actually? What are you going to do for food? I'm still earning. I'm still doing the Oscars.

What am I going to do for food? It's like a five bed. Fuck a hell. That's crazy. He's one person. He needs a five bedroom house. This is how the other side lives. He's got one limb in each bedroom.

He's got his foot in one room. It's not just me. What's the fucking is going to do with five bedroom? Like stretch armstrong. just sleeping in five bed and unbelievable you're gonna go you start in your own

like cult or something cult yeah he's getting turning all Jared Lito I can imagine you're having a Jared Lita he's going on David Koresh he's going to be

sign Jesus what yeah we're gonna fucking the siege of Lulu's house I'm gonna get like

one of the rooms converted to be a sacrificial chamber right I'm down let's go get like a big surf on the ground in salt and stuff You know, get some rooms.

Sacrifice. I mean, some of the bedrooms are also, so it's going to be quite a boxy sacrificial chamber. You got a box room or two in there thrown into the room. You got a basement? No basement. No, damn. You could have done a bit of a fritzel there. I was just going to say, you could have done a fritzel.

Just more poor taste, references that we can come up with. We've mentioned David Koresh. When are we going to mention, you could do a Jeffrey Dahmer in you. in your basement. How about that? You can keep jars of men's penises down there. I've been trying to make this game, and I'd be really resisting using AI art for it.

I was making a board game, and I started using AIR, and I just felt so bad that it actually sucked all of the energy out of the project for me, and I kind of gave up on it. And this time, the project I'm making, I've only bought assets from the Unity Store, UD Asset Store.

I think I've spent, Honestly, like, I spent fuck all. I mean, I spent like 100 quid on assets, but I bought so much random shit off, like, people. And it feels like at least then I'm giving back. But I think that could have been a secondhand futon in one of your five new bedrooms. But no, now it's just assets from the asset store. Well, but I've even started noticing on the Unity Assets Store that, like, there's some of

these things are made by AI. People are just making fucking stuff on AI and selling it as if it's theirs. And it's, it's getting, it's not great. And so I don't know. I feel like it's a bit of a. pit trap around every corner at the moment. And it's a Wild West. It's a Wild West.

Let's read some emails. It's always a Wild West. I think I'm right. It's all right. It's all good. Remember when YouTube was like, it still is kind of, but like remember like early YouTube, like when we were getting started and stuff, it was really the Wild West room. Yaha.

The fly girls and everything. It was like the Wild West. Try Force podcast, Mest vagina. Yeah. I just watched Blue Zephos New video about

I'm not sure My melons are out though Admiring my melons Reply girls Yeah Good time Oh god she was crazy I think she was trapped in a fritzel-style

Baseball She might have been One of us One bedroom of a fine bedroom Do more replies Do more replies We should be more responsible About how we

you know, we should have rescued her, I think. Yeah, I could have, yeah. She's dead now. Is she actually? No, I don't know. What a terrible thing to say. You're a fool for something. Go down, Lulu.

She might be, though. We don't know. Brett says, you guys briefly spoke about Paul Ruben's tragic passing. That's Pee-Wee Herman. One thing that I think needs to be corrected is the matter of him cranking his hog in a movie theater. Yeah. There is more to the story, and the way it's usually told is an effort to besmirch. him.

Yes. He was not caught in an everyday movie theater. He was caught in an adult theater. Yeah, of course he was. A place where cranking it might be a bit more acceptable. Yeah. And also, you know, you go in there with other hog crankers, looking to crank each other's hogs, perhaps.

And he was caught by undercover cops. This happened in the 90s. He's also caught in Florida, which I don't think... Yeah. It's like satanic panic and homophobia and all stuff. I don't think they want to accept that potentially there is a place where... gay men can gather and jerk each other off or whatever. We're cranking hogs.

Yeah. We're sucking off our toes. Yeah, I agree. There's a lot. There's a lot. Go sit next to me. We'll watch a film. But don't get too close.

It might be a cop and then we'll go to jail. There's more, there's definitely more to that story than what was. I'm cranking, Beeway. I'm cranking his knob. Oh, dear. All right. I reckon we could develop that. Yeah. God, if you're listening. And I'm hoping.

He comes inside my bud. Does anyone recognize that chute? Yeah, it's the littlest hobo. It is the littlest hobo. I love the littlest hobo. It was about a dog that just traveled around. What was that it? Down the road.

That was the chief. Where I'll always be. Whenever it's up by day. I'll make a new friend. Yeah. And then I go back down the road and I'm home. again. Yeah.

Maybe tomorrow, I want to settle down. It's a great song. Maybe tomorrow, I'm just keep moving on. I like the pornographic remix that you did as well. I think that, I think it worked. I told you, I'm a song. Who needs AI when you've got the gold right here? Exactly.

Yeah, just letting it slip through your fingers, everybody. That's it. All right, so Truro City versus Gateshead. Just listening to the latest mailback. Yes, the leagues below the National League. the fifth tier, become regionalised with the National League North and South, which is something I said that they get north and south. But Truro City of Cornwall were promoted from the NLS to the National League last season and have already played the longest ever trip in English

football when they took on Gateshead the other week. So you had to go from Truro up to Gateshead near Newcastle. So although they are- That's absolutely fucking miles, by the way. It's like hundreds of miles. That's a long way for a football match. So yeah, pretty crazy. And I'd said it's not Like you've got a team in Truro playing a team in Carlisle. And then literally that happened this season. So I had a few emails about that. Thank you for all of them. That's interesting.

Someone explaining we were talking about metal 3D printing. Do you remember we mentioned this? Metal 3D printing. Oh, yeah. I met someone who does it for the French military or something. Right. So 3D printing stuff because you know most 3D printing, it's like plastic. Yeah, it is.

You just put in the stuff and it heats it up and then puts it in. Yeah, it's like a filament. So this, it does the same thing. And it melts it. Right, right. It spools it in. And then it, so it does the same thing with metal. The process is called, this is from Devin, by the way.

It's called direct metal laser sintering, sintering, which is not a turn I've heard before. Yeah. It involves microscopic titanium particles so small that we have to wear full respiratory equipment to stop ourselves from breathing in the particles and shredding our lungs. The metal powder is laid out in a print bed layer by layer while a high-powered laser centers two-d slices of the desired object. slowly building up to a finished 3D titanium part. I've got to look up what the word cinter means now. Wow. It sounds like...

A hard, salacious or calcereous deposit precipitated from mineral springs. Well, yeah. Solid material which has been scented, especially a mixture of iron ore and other materials. So I think it's having a powder and having the power, heating a powder to it to like... Right, right. Turn it into a liquid and then it dries as a solid, right? Fascinating. So you, you, yeah, it's, I guess it's, um, I see, I've seen it.

be used in some of the new mobile phones because there's this guy who shreds them and there's a bit of like I think they're starting to use it in like titanium to do like the some of the layers. Oh, clever stuff. I guess you know that's that's where you'll see it at that those

the cutting edge of the money whatever makes. You be careful Pfax. They're going to snap you up and plug you in to the AI bots to use your good ideas, yeah. Your creativity. Yeah. I didn't come up with I didn't come up with

We've enslaved this man to hopefully use him for a little bit of AI here and there under our own creative guidance and our whole dev team is behind us. We've got a new music generation tool. It's called Pflats AI. We've taken all his clothes off. We've put him in a tank and we've hooked him up to tubes. The whole dev team is behind it. No problem.

He's got tubes going into every hole in his body. Good God. Do they come out again as well or just in? No, they just go in. They just go in so they can suck out all the ideas. and the other fluids as well. They can get the wasteful fluids. I think they could get the ideas out on Wi-Fi, probably.

I think they could get the ideas out with one tube that goes up my ass, because that's where I talk and think mostly shooting out of my arm. Just free-flowing creativity through the tube. Just like a human centipede. Yeah. Nice. Truro City. How many people live there?

Like 20,000? No. I don't think there's very many. 89,000 people. In Truro? No, I'm only kidding. It's probably like 10. Who is the mayor of Truro?

It's a tiny place. So Truro, I reckon the population of Truro is about 15,000. Do they have a mayor? Do you need a mayor for 15,000 people? 23,000. Right. Maybe you are in mayor. It's like a neighborhood.

Maybe you are in mayor territory at that point. Truro's nice. I've been there. I went to university in Plymouth and so I know Devon and Cornwall, you know, we traveled all over there in our spare time. Got friends that live down, they've gone holidays down. The West Country's beautiful. It's beautiful.

It's God's God. Speaking of God, my theory on the origin of the Marilyn Manson slash other celebrities, rib removal rumor. The origin of the... Yeah, this is from Liam with a lovely alliterative rib removal rumor. Hello, Pyrin, and Associated members of TriForce. That's you guys. Hi. I'm from New Zealand.

Not relevant. I thought I would bait you into attempting the accent. It's a bit tricky. I've always had a weird theory. It is a bit tricky. on the origin of the high school rumor that Marilyn Manson had a rib removed to suck his own dick.

What you touched on was the fact that different generations believed other celebrities, Mark Boland, Prince, etc. Michael Jackson. Indeed. My theory is that this rumor goes all the way back to the creation of life.

Genesis 221 to 22. Right. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept. And he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof and the rib which the Lord God had taken from.

man made he a woman and brought her unto the man. Moses split his ribcage. Holy shit. To remove excess ribs. And lo, Moses was able to gosh off his hog. And the Lord looked and said this is good.

So Adam was able to give him wasn't it? No, allow Liam to finish. Okay. Now I am no biblical scholar or even believer for that matter. We could speculate that at some point Eve may have performed the act of fallatio on Adam, in which case, Adam had his rib removed, so he, his rib, could suck him off.

Over time, this rumour was possibly attributed around various celebrities of the day, cave artists, gladiators, Oscar Wild, etc. All more likely just started with the rock stars of the 50s and 60s, but I always found the similarities between the rumor and the story of Adam and Eve uncanny. I mean, even weirder, I seem to be the only person who's ever thought of this. Liam, good luck with your finals exam that I know you're studying for, and thank you for a fantastic email. Liam, that Bible study session we just had was the most fun I've ever had.

Man, I wonder who the first person ever to suck one, suck someone off was. Like, it must have been really weird. How do you even, how do you even develop the, the, the, the notion to do such a thing, you know? Like, it just feels like, I don't know. So it's an odd one to think about. Yeah. You're sitting there and you're just like, man, I'm bored. Maybe I can suck that thing.

Like, it just seems weird, no? I don't know. Yeah. I guess. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, there is essentially, given that human beings at some point, although obviously maybe our ancestors,

maybe those species also sucked each other off. I mean, geez, there's not much to do all day. I don't know. Do the rest of the animal kingdom suck each other off? I think it's not. Monkeys jack off all the time. So I'm assuming that they're up to all sorts. Do they suck each other off, though?

I don't know. Maybe if you put a little bit of a banana, down there, you know, rub some banana on it. Sweeten the deal of it. This is how you get the girls to suck you off. I see, so it's like the dick in the box, classic popcorn trick. It's a classic of the chimp world, the monkey world. You put a bit of banana down there and bingo bingo.

I love that the email kind of insinuated that Eve was sucking Adam off, like in the garden of Eden. Like, some people, some people really like it. So, you know, maybe it's like a thing, like, you know. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Some people were born. Some people really like it. Some people really like it. What is that mean?

What are you talking about? Let's move on. Some people really like the thought of Adam and Eve. Are you saying that some people really like getting blow jobs? Are you saying that some people really like giving blow jobs? Yeah. Are you saying that some people really like thinking about Adam and Eve giving each other or also.

I don't know what I mentioned credited Tarantino again are born with a desire to put feet in their mouth. Yes, yes. I have known some girls who fucking loved giving blowjubs. Sadly, none of them gave me a blowjobs or married to me, but they loved giving them. And they're like open about it. They fucking love it. Exactly. So I think that when the first one of them, or it might be a man, was born who loves putting cocks in their mouth, that was when it started.

Question answered. Next. Hey, listen. Who was the first one, though? Because like, you know, like the inventor of the toilet was John Crap. and, you know, the inventor of the telephone was Alexander Graham Bell. So you're saying it was like Michael Suckoff or something. No, it's a Jenny, Jenny Gardenhose.

But all of these things were invented by men because they stole the credit back then. So this would probably be... What some bloke is claiming the idea of blow jobs, he's invented it. Yeah, yeah. Behind every great man there's a great woman sucking him off is what you're saying

I think it was more I guess it would be more of a reach around if she was behind yeah that's true this is although some lads can put their knob

like at mad angles what do you mean like a buffalo bill when he tucks when he does the tuck can we just enjoy that sentence some lads

can put their knobs at mad angles I just love that sentence it's true some lads can put their knobs at mad angles that sounds like a great band name I have seen it

or the name of an album I'm just saying like for me it's not that flexible once it's up once it's up it's pretty monodirectional I always thought that it would really hurt if you had to do like a full sprint run

whilst fully erect you know I'm sure you're tuck it into the waistband of your undies what I'm saying no you're fully naked with a full log on you're fully erect and you have to sprint

Run. I think that would do. I'm sure. Yes, of course. I mean, I always heard there was like a, you could have some surgery to cut like a muscle somewhere that would allow it to go at any angle. Oh, really? Just those ones that go at like, you know, like, like, like, set goes super. Like they're putting it straight down. Straight down. Practically between their legs, like, who, who, still, you know, doing, doing the business. I'm like, how are you doing that? Like you could snap off. They're doing a plunger. You bend it too much. It's like, ah. They're like circus performers. They're like freaks. Speaking of freaks.

This is from Cooper, whose aunt, Pierre Marinda, is a winner, sorry, Miranda is a winner of the Australian Survivor TV show. Oh, cool. Apparently, Sitch is a big fan. If you have any questions, ask them. Yeah, I, well, I'm not a huge Survivor fan as such. I watched the English one, the British one that was out and enjoyed it. I was hoping for more, but I've never really watched any American series or any other ones. But I did like it, and I would be interested in watching more.

But, yeah, I don't know. That's not what they've asked. They don't ask if you want to watch it. They want to ask if you've got any questions. Any production questions? Like, yes, you can ask questions about what it was like winning it or, you know, what was this happened behind the scenes or that and the other? If you don't have any questions, we'll just move on.

Yeah, I don't really have any. It's like I'm more into traders. I would have production questions about the traders. Okay. More so than Survivor, you know. Interesting. Sorry. I apologize for that one.

We haven't watched the Australia. money. No, I haven't seen a lot. We'll get on it. But congratulations, your mom winning, though. That's crazy. Aren't. Oh, I think. Yeah. Look, hey, thanks for the email. Sorry, we don't have any follow-up questions. That's the luck to you. That just happens. Before we continue, time is running out for gifts this Christmas. And if you're looking for ideas, there's a great one. You should check out, Aura Frames. It's a digital photo frame. I have got one for my parents and for my brother. We've got one in the office. And they are fantastic. They work brilliantly. You just download the OR app, connect to Wi-Fi. You can preload it

with photos before giving it as a gift and it can be personalized. It's easy to share photos and videos straight from your phone all year round and there's a gift box included. So check it out. I love using my old frame. I uploaded some pictures to my parents one just yesterday and got a nice text back. So I recommend it. And for a limited time, you can save on this perfect gift. by visiting Auraframes.com to get 35 bucks off Aura's best-selling Carvermat frames by using promo code Triforce at checkout. That's A-U-R-A-Frams.com promo code Triforce. This deal is exclusive to listeners, and the frames sell out fast. So order yours now to get it in time for the holiday. You can support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms of

conditions apply. Do you remember the good old days before Microsoft Word had Autosave? you type out an important report and then your computer would freeze and you'd lose hours of work just because you forgot to hit save. Well, that's what it's like going online without ExpressVPN. Every time you connect to an unacrypted network, your online data is not secure. Other people, hackers can gain access to you and steal that data and use it in your place. Hackers can make up to $1,000 per person selling personal info on the dark web. But ExpressVPN is great. I use it. It's now at its lowest price ever with plans starting at just $3.49 a month. That's 12 cents a day.

But it would take a hacker with the supercomputer a billion years to get past the encryption. I use it. We recommend it. You can check it out and secure your online data today by visiting expressvPN.com slash triforce. That's eXP-R-E-S-V-P-N.com slash triforce to find out how you can get up to four extra months. ExpressVPN.com slash Triforce This one's from Marley

who asks me why I don't like Strongbow I'm an American My stepdad is Welsh We went to Wales to see his family Stop by at a pub And he ordered a pint for me And it was Strongbow Listen, Mali

Strongbow is the pits It's the worst It is the worst of the cider It is lacking in flavour Depth of flavour It's incredibly acidic And it'll fuck you up It'll fuck you up.

It sounds like it's fucking you up right now. Just thinking about it is bringing out a rash in my throat. I can barely breathe. The cheapest mass-produced one. And it's a bit bitter as well. Yeah, it's bitter, acidic piss. Compared to the masterpiece of the bachel's goal. I would drink it if there was nothing else, though.

Like, it doesn't. I wouldn't. All right. Even if I was going to die of thirst, I wouldn't drink a fucking strong-bo. I honestly think Strongbo has done cider a bad, a disservice. Yes, it has. Yes. I think it's made people less likely to drink.

It's dry. I think that is, is what it's about, and it's supposed to be, but, and some people like that, but it's got, it's gotten to be way more popular than it should have been, I think. It's just, it's so accessible, that's why. It's like a porter or stout or something. It's like a specific kind of, not everyone likes drinking like those kind of weird beers. Yeah.

And that's why lager's more popular, do you know what I mean? But I think cider is supposed to be the lager. It's like the lager of ciders, but it's not. It's like the labats blue of cider, you know? Like it's, it is very, very run-of-the-mill mainstream, uh, cider. There are better alternatives, but I mean, that's for everything. That goes the same for everything. But having said that, there will be some people who just like that.

And that's fine, too. No, they're scum. It's not fine. It's not fine for Flax. Flax doesn't like that. Look, I think people get, it's the same thing with tea. Everyone's got their tea tape. I used to be a fair trade 99 co-op tea drinker.

And now I'm a Yorkshire tea drinker. And I'm never going to look back because I just prefer the flavor. fun. I bet you they've got, period, like 20 different flavors of Strongbo. And I reckon if we did like a taste test here in the office over, over jingle jam, you wouldn't be able to tell the fucking difference. I absolutely would. If you got me a Strongbo and a Thatcher's and got me to taste the one and say, what about the Pepsi challenge? Could you, could you, could you, could you, can you tell the, do you want to do? Can you tell the difference between Pepsi and Coke? Yeah. I can as well. I've drunk so much Coke in my life. I don't drink it anymore, but like at one point,

I was drinking so many coques per day. I could definitely tell the difference. Code classic. Like the actual Coke. None of the other shit. I'm saying the actual fucking Coke. There is nothing else that tastes like it. We're going to do a Strongbo versus Thatcher's taste test.

Easy. Easy as the challenge of my life. If you drink a load of cider, you'd be able to pass to ace that one. No problem. Okay, good. No, I'm excited. Let's just do it. This is from Harry.

This is a flame email directed at me. I want to have a fucking word with you, Harry. He says, listening to Mailbag 50, who appearing got mad at Lewis and Sips for not caring about my AFC Bournemouth story. Just wanted to say, they were right for not caring. Comparing Leicester's Premier League title win to Bournemouth getting to the Premier League is nonsensical to say the least. Well, Harry, you're incorrect.

Careful. You don't want to step up. You're going to a wake in the beast here, Harry. First of all, I will grant you that Leicester City won in the Premier League was one of the great football achievements and genuinely incredible and shocking in its time. Let us not forget that the other teams in the league that year, that were in the running to win the Premier League were all absolute shit

and the only team they had to beat out at the end was Spurs, who were always going to blow it. So congratulations, Lester, you had a great season, you absolutely won the time, you absolutely deserved to win it, but it's not like the other teams are right, it's not like you were having to see off Arsenal and Manu, they were all in the doldrums,

they were playing like Wank and Man City terrible that season. Go look at the table, look at the results. Former started the bottom of League 2 on minus 17. We had no money. allowed to sign any players. We had to get some lonies and free trousers. We were fucked and an ex-player of ours who'd never coached, retired from the game, came in

as a manager, led us up the league to the Premier League and we currently sit fifth on the table. So yes, it is an achievement and no one talks about it, and I'm sick to death of every article talking about Man You stumble. No, Bournemouth beat Man You is the headline, but no, we're the ignored club of the

Premier League. It's a disgrace. You've set him off. You've set him off. Listen, well done here. I think the thing shocked everyone was that if you had to, like, name, I don't know, 20 British towns and cities, you just, Leicester is like the most forgettable place. Do you know what I mean? There's nothing interesting about Lester.

It's a fucking dump. Well, I mean, you can say that about quite a few towns as well. Oh, dear, you go see Lester's a torpish, lovely. There's a bit of grass on the outside, and there's a couple of roads, and there's even a Wilkinson. You're very vicious when it comes to football, aren't you, P-Flax? I think it's in the nature of football support.

It's a tribal thing. All right, I got an email for you, Lulu. This is from Katie. Is it a flame? It is not. It's an apology. I wanted to write into Apologize to Lewis. I'm a volunteer and qualified train guard with Bristol Harbor Railway.

Nice. A preserved heritage railway running in Bristol City Center. Yesterday, Sunday the 26th of October, I was on the platform outside M. shed, making sure no one wanded down into the fenced off area. It's full of oil, grease, and other debris from the steam locomotive. It's slippery and dirty. Whilst I was there... I remember this incident. Whilst I was there, you'll love this bit. A young man started walking into the platform and I had to shout to him to walk around the other way. It wasn't until he looked my way. I realized it was Lewis. Maybe it was just because he was mid-flow, but I was worried

I'd annoyed him. This is never my intention when dealing with the public. I just need to be assertive to keep people safe. I wanted to immediately quell the tension by proclaiming, I am Dave, exclamation mark Jognaught, and I have the balls, which is something that people say all the time in their emails, and I generally just skip over the email because I still don't understand what that means, but decided against it being in a professional environment and all that. Even though I missed my charts, it was nice to tell my colleagues I'd seen the famous Lewis Brindley, albeit in less favorable circumstances. And generally, apologize us for shouting at you. And if you want, come on by and you can have a ride on me, says Katie, brackets,

a train ride that is, not a ride literally on me. Thank you for spelling it that. I am Dave, exclamation mark Yognaught, and I have the balls, because I have seen this so many times. It's like the tiny penis thing, but it's for Simon and Lewis's Yog pod podcast way back. I see. But what is I am Dave? It's just a way of letting other people know that you listen to the same thing that they listen to. Yeah, I am Dave, exclamation mark Yognot, and I have balls.

That's what gets me. If it said, I am Dave Yognaut, comma, and I have the balls, but it's like, I am Dave. Yognaught and I have the balls and I don't understand that it doesn't scan in my brain I think you have to listen to the podcast from 15 years ago to understand that

I'm too far too busy it's too exactly and I wouldn't I wouldn't even know I'm a different person I used to enjoy weekly Netflix releases he's a big binger

he's a big binger now he's a binger like the rest of us lying there in his bed his little stomach yeah he's like jab of the hut in his bed more shows we're going to get to more

shows to watch his partner is actually salacious bee crumb a little creature in there more shows stop laughing Netflix

Bia no I'm going to convert one of my other bedrooms into a ritual chair I want to watch the entire

box set of the sopranos in bedroom number four right now there is a lovely heritage railway

that ruds up and down the harbour in Bristol And it's a little bit kind of, I wonder if, I've been thinking about this. Is there a trestle bridge? Electric cars are going to cause more accidents because people don't hear them coming. Is there a trestle bridge?

What do you want? Is there a trestle bridge on the line? I find most heritage lines have some sort of trestle bridge, you know? Like, I don't know. And if there is, it's probably a huge expense to keep it fixed. What? I needed to, I needed an answer. That's what I feel like I'm like my four-year-old daughter right now.

Dad, Dad, I'm fucking talking right now. I'm trying to park the car. Let me call for a drink. Fuck. So, no, I did remember that moment. And I think it's, the thing is I do see that train pootling up and down the line. And I always wonder, what's the stopping speed on it? Because there's just people milling, right?

There's kids running, there's people milling. It's not that loud when it's going along. Yeah. You know, and if you got your headphones in, I just wonder how many people are, cars killing more pedestrians? They thought at one point that they were, yeah. But now, if you notice, most electric cars make these futuristic sounds. You know, they sound like they're like, whoop, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, and when they're

reversing and stuff, they make noise. And that's because the very first electric cars were so silent that, yeah, people were getting hit by them. You had no, you had no heads up that a car was coming. You know, you, like, like, yeah, you rely on all the sense. You can hear all these noises of a car, you know, minutes, minutes before that the car is even in view. Ooh, this oil is fresh. So now electric cars have these sort of artificial sounds that they make just to give you a heads up.

They go, eh. That's the one. Yeah. For Jim Carrey, dumb and dumber. That's all you hear coming around the corner. Simon's joined us, everyone. Say hi. Hello.

Simon. It's me the diggy-dgy-hole, man. This is actually very timely. Now you can ask your question, Flacks, about the balls. I have a question for you. So I get people emailing in quite often, Simon, and they say, I am Dave, exclamation mark, Yognort, and I have the balls. Can you explain the origin of this, please? No.

Excellent. Thank you so much. You're welcome. So long ago. It's the same RSS feed as this podcast is on. Back in the day, the days before the Triforce, there was the Yog pod. And I don't know why the exclamation mark, who fucking knows? This is like almost 20 years ago.

It's a long time. You gives a shit. True. Well, none of this is going out, right? No, no, it is. This is 100% going out. What? Huh?

Huh? Huh? Hmm? Are you looking forward to jingle jam? Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Looking forward to, yeah, I've got some writing to do for it.

And the important videos list, I've got to compile that. I don't think you're allowed this year to do that. I've got some actual good video. It was kind of a bit depressive and weird last year. But this year, there's bangers. There's a guy fingering a bagel and then looking cream off of it. Oh, wow. Very good.

Look, can we just, look, the Sarah. The TikTok thing is what upsets me every year because I watch it and I feel so disconnected from whatever reality she lives in that her selection of TikToks and stuff, I want you to come down harder on that shit. I'm expecting all the audience's TikToks are going to be six, seven memes. Right. I want you to really go in hard this year, Simon, because you're my, you're like my avatar when I watch that stream.

I'm like channeling my energy into you to have a real go at Sarah when she posts this shit. So please, I want some curse words. We'll make sure that we'll have a remote connection to her, as we usually do, and then bother her and get her to explain herself. Thank you so much. I need that. Because that's always cringe, like trying to explain a joke, but also it's someone else's joke. Yeah, but also some of it is so baffling.

If it's not translated into English, I don't know what the fuck is going on. And she's killing herself laughing. I'm like, no, no, no, you've got to tell me why this is funny. I don't even understand it. I still don't quite know that I got the chimney falling Jimmy Fallon thing. God, it's just so weird. Like, I think I made that up as like, that was the joke and it was completely unrelated. God.

There was one about Costco as well. Something about going to Costco. I remember that from the last year before. You're going to get a hot dog, the Costco hot dog. I don't even know. Simon, can I quickly ask you a question before you go about your thoughts on World of Warcraft player housing in the year 2025 and are you going to

partake? World of Warcraft. When did I last play World of Warcraft? Seven, eight years ago? I don't know. It's been so long. I feel like this could tempt you back. Don't you want to have your own house?

Google Battle for Azaroth. That's the last time you played. All right, okay. When was that? Oh, that was a long time ago. That was seven years. It was, yeah. So you missed like three expansions pretty much.

Yeah, yeah. So I don't really care that much. All right. You know, I'm having, I just wanted to check. I had fun playing Kenchi the other night. Oh, nice. Okay. But something was wrong because I think playing it was drawing so much power.

My PC was using so much energy to play Kenchi. Right. But the power went off, not once, but twice. What the hell? Like, it tripped the circuit breaker. just playing this shitty little, yeah. You ever play Kenji, Samurai Robots? Yeah, that's good.

It's pretty good, yeah, yeah. You know, I started off being a slave in a cage. Yes. It's not a sex thing. It's a difficult game. It's got like a steep learning curve. Yeah. Are you past the steep part of the learning curve or are you still?

I don't know. I escaped. Right. But I think there was a lot of luck because one of the guards bugged. Right. I escaped the quarry where we were forced to dig stone and the guards caught up with me. There are a bunch of these bone dogs.

Some of them attacked the bone dogs and one guy batted me to the ground and then did first aid on me, went to pick me up, but then kept like dropping me and picking me up, dropping me over and over and over again. My character's in like a fucking coma and eventually he just stopped attempting to carry me and just wandered off. So I escaped.

Nice. That counts. An escape is an escape. We were wondering where the first blowjob came from. I'm sorry? Where's the first blowjob? Who invented the blowjob? Who was the first?

I think it was Jesus. Jesus. Jesus taught in his first sermon to the masses. The guy wrote in, yeah. Jesus, he was a carpenter, and one day he was polishing something, but he ran out of polish, and so he had to use saliva. And it was like this long, it was like... He was making a knob.

Yeah, he was basically making a door knob. And he had to like slobber down on it in order to polish it. Yeah. Well, thank you, Simon. Thank you for coming in. Thank you so cool. Thank you so much for this. If a prostitute named the same name as my mother did this to me.

All right, well, it's good to have you on the radio. Thank you so much. This is pushing me out of the room. Thank you, Simon. Hi, Simon. Oh, man. Let's have a little cameo. from the old,

faithful, old reliable. Old reliable, good old Simon. Yeah. Well, we're not going to top that, so I guess we'll wrap it up. We can wrap it up. We can wrap it up. And like Jesus did, not do. Thanks so much for listening to another mailbag, try for his mail bag. He did invent the glory hole.

Simon did mention he's a carpenter. He did invent the glory hole. Is that true? That is something Jesus did invent, yeah. Is that way, but you could see God through it. He was always known for popping holes through, through bathroom walls. That was like his name. Jesus.

Christ. Exactly. Yes, that one. I didn't read that. Which one of the books of the Bible is that in? It's in the apocrypha. Okay.

So the appendixes. Excellent stuff. Yeah, great. Good stuff. Thank you. You learn something new every day. Indeed, you do. Fascinating.

All right. Well, we love you and that was great. Yeah. Thank you so much for the emails. And sorry to the guy about the survivor thing. I just didn't have any questions, you know? Yeah. Don't feel bad.

Asked and answered. Do you have any questions? No. I do not. I don't know. I wish I did, though. I feel bad. But we should, no, but we don't feel bad. We should, we delivered, you know. Yeah. Do you asked if we had any questions. I passed on the information request. Your answer was in the negative. We move on. Next email. Yeah. I guess that is how it works. Just taking care of business. Yeah. All right. Bye. Bye. Keep them coming. Thank you so much. Bye. Oh, and ladies. Oh, ladies. Jingles. That'll get them. That'll get them fire. you got them, yeah. Just get ready to be flooded. That'll definitely done it. Really condescending and sexes. Women, ladies, get some giggles. Okay, all right. Bye.

Bye, bye.