Triforce! - Triforce! LIVE: Pickaxe Week 2024

Episode Date: October 2, 2024

Triforce Live for Pickaxe 2024! We're looking at the dead social presense of Phillip Schofield, Pyrion shares some of his 1,000 video strong YouTube playlists and we try to navigate modern day airport security and we dive into some Lews News and Mailbags! A bonus bundle bonanza! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Triforce live. Are we live really? It. Triforce live. Are we live really? It's happening. We're live. That quickly. We have done this every year for the last couple of years, Sips, so it should be familiar to you.

It's lovely to see you in person. I always forget that we've got little bits of camera on this. You get a little glimpse into the... I'm looking at all of you guys right now. The psycho hoarder cabin that P flax lives in Yeah, shut up. I know behind the equipment back there

An effort I did you could have tied it up a bit. I sure my shit. Look I've got my This is my Copenhagen. Can you guys see that? Spelled wrong. Yeah, very nice. Very nice Chippin him or whatever, or whatever it's actually pronounced. Coban Harbin. And honestly, it's funny how we've all got tons of shit in the background. I guess it's just a thing that we just accumulate stuff and our partners all... If I don't keep it in here, if I don't keep it in here, it gets chucked out.

This is it. This is it. This is it. I'm very protective of my piles of stuff. One of the teams gave away this as a merch. It's a can of trout. Very nice. Is it actually trout? Yes, there's actually a can of trout in here.

It's kind of weird. You've got to keep stuff in your office to not get chucked out. My office is where the stuff gets chucked out too. This is like a dump in there. This is where all the stuff that nobody wants ends up. I got everything back here, it's crazy. What's that big delivery you got? It's a shower screen. Ooh.

For a bath. It's a bath shower screen. Oh, so you don't... So you get privacy in there. It's more just to keep the water in the, uh, you know, from splashing out. Are you a very splashy bather? Are you familiar with a shower? Yeah, no, I have, we have a shower as well. Yeah, but Lewis is asking, like, this is a new invention. Like the screen is, it's there to stop the water from coming out.

Yeah, it's for the, like the bath hose, you know, like the detachable hose. Sometimes if you're in the bath, you want to have like a rinse or whatever. That water goes everywhere. I don't know if you have any experience with that, but you need to, you got to keep it in. Lulu's on a no water bathing thing. He uses, I don't know what the vegan equivalent to water is, something like dust or powerful blast of air or fondue. Yeah. Vegan fondue. Powerful blast of air. Or fondue.

Yeah. Yeah. Vegan fondue. Oh no, I laser clean. Like those guys on TikTok. Have you seen like, it's like sandblasting or like power washing but with a laser. Oh. God yeah. With the industrial shit. Yeah, they remove the tattoos with them. It like, zaps them and leaves them all red and sore afterwards. Hell of a zapping.

Yeah. I think that would be, that's the future, right? You get up in your spaceship, you walk into like a pod and it like laser cleans you. Oh. Then you know, you just, you can smell that like slightly burning hair. Excuse me? I guess it would also shave off all the hair on your body, right? If you got laser cleaned. It would be like having electrolysis or whatever.

I've been waxed before. That was unpleasant. I'm quite hairy. I'm quite hairy all over. Not super hairy. Not like an old Greek guy or anything, but pretty hairy. And so Mrs. F was like, why don't you wax your back before we go on holiday it'll look great I was like okay so I went to a local place the lady there was like oh I love waxing men's backs she's like this is I just pretend you're my boyfriend I was like fucking what so I'm a surrogate person going ah did you look at the strips when they were done did you see all the gunk that comes out yeah Did you have any big spaghetti gunks come out? Like sometimes you see those videos where people squeeze a blackhead or whatever and it comes out in a string?

God, no. Stop saying these things. I'm gonna be sick. I think it is quite satisfying to... You love Powerwash Sim, right? And you like to see a nice clean wall panel or whatever, do you know what I mean? Or floor tile. It's the same for a human back.

You know? You've got this horrible gigantic gorilla back. You want to get it all nice and pink and soft and smooth. Like your head, P-Flax. You know? Just think. You know, she must also enjoy the pain. She must be envisioning that you are her terrible boyfriend, who's caused

her all this hassle and doesn't empty the dishwasher, you know, he's just an asshole. And she's like, oh, I get to just rip all of his hair out. It's weird, like, when people enjoy grooming. Not like in, you know, like grooming like other people, not in like the, you know, like how, you know how like apes groom each other that kind of way, you know, like they pick the, the knits out of their hair and like, you know, combing your hair and waxing other people and stuff. I wouldn't want to do that to anyone. I wouldn't want to do any of those things to anyone else. I don't even want to do those things to myself. I brush the kids hair. I don't brush Mrs. F's hair.

She can brush her own hair. I mean, it doesn't trust me to do it. I don't even, I don't brush my daughter's hair either. And they don't want me to because I have no experience brushing long hair. So when, like on the rare occasion where I have to do it, they're like, what are you doing? I don't actually know what I'm doing. There's like knots and shit in there and I'm just, I'm powering through them and they're screaming. Yeah. You've got to hold the top bit and then rake it out. I mean, when Mrs. F was working full time at the office and I would, the babies were young, I would have to, you grab it like that and then you brush it, and the tangles that kids get in their hair, they form these tiny little circles of just round up hair, I dunno how.

You could tease those out. My youngest daughter had, like, peanut butter in her hair, and there was like a little tiny piece of gum. That would probably make it easier to cut, to... Oh, right, yeah. Dried up barf, like, you name it, it's in there. There's this... You gotta wash it first, I guess.

It's gotta be clean, right? Yeah. But I think you can, if it's like wet or oily or whatever, you can like just tease out those knots. You don't have to just take the whole hair, you might as well just get a pair of scissors at that point. Yeah. Or just get a wax strip.

Um... Can I, can I... I'm assuming we might read some emails later. I just want to take this opportunity. Wait, are we gonna do, since we're live we're gonna do everything. Yeah, we'll do a half regular and we'll do half mail. All the segments are coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are we gonna do some ad reads as well? Live? But the ones that we have to cut, for sure. Speaking of, like, merch, because that guy did that trout merch, I got a message from Joe. Joe Barron. Okay, this guy is spam, it's a spam email, but he is the founder of Amstrad Digital. Lord Sugar's digital agency. If you can fucking believe it. I've laid on some digital-

I've laid on his logo for you. Amstrad Digital. He says- Digital marketing services. Obviously, Amstrad is a big joke. He's like, we had an Amstrad computer back in the day and it was shit. We've talked about this millions of times, but I just find it... I mean, Lord Alan Sugar is one of these people who is going to use the Lord Sugar title wherever he can. And it's weird that this guy running Amstrad Digital School, Joe Barron, Jeremy, is like the most English thing I could think of. And it's just a spam email, but I get a lot of these, right? And I just thought this one was weird because...

He's the Lord Sugar testimonial on the homepage. Amstrad Digital have an exceptionally talented team who've demonstrated their expertise through the results achieved for several businesses under my portfolio. That's what he says. I think that's the extent of his involvement with Amstrad Digital, is that he occasionally employs them. I think anybody reads that and is really impressed by the words that he's used. Not if they've seen his Twitter account.

Alan Sugar's Twitter account is hilariously bad. I don't think he even wrote that. It's just meaningless talk, anyway. It could be AI generated. It's just nonsense. I just wondered those tips, you know, as a big fan of the apprentice, would you want to work, you know, would you want to employ Lord Sugar's digital agency to do the triforce podcast?

No, I would rather cut my own head off. I don't want anything to do with Lord Sugar. I, uh, You hired. That's the kind of attitude I need. Anything to do with that guy at all. I want people, I want smart people who know that they should have nothing to do with me. No, I don't understand that there's,

there's a large segment of like part of the world that I don't understand. I'll never understand. I don't want to get involved in. And it's mostly the business world. The stuff that they come up with is insane. I don't know how it appeals to anybody. It's got to be a joke, right? People who actually have money must sit in the

background and just laugh at everybody all the time, right? For not having as much money as them. They just do whatever they want. Let's just come up with all this shit and laugh at people. That's all it feels like. Like it just feels like a really, really cruel joke. Oftentimes. Maybe I'm wrong, but it's a weird one, isn't it? What the fuck does any of that shit that he said even mean? And to who? Would it even be important? It's just stupid.

It just feels like a total waste of time. I don't know. A lot of TV is that, though. It's laughing at people who've had bad tattoos or have weird things, or... it's always been that, right? That's just how it is. I've got some crappy news, if you wanna hear it. Are we doing the news already? It's thirteen minutes in! Oh, sorry. How crap are we talking here?

What else? Sorry, so what else? I wish that we could chat a bit more, I mean. It's only been ten minutes, don't blow your lawn too quickly! It's been ten minutes! We're gonna run out of shit to do! I wish that we could chat a bit more, I mean. It's only been ten minutes, don't blow your lung too quickly! Wait until I've got nothing to talk about, right? Oh my god. I see, because this is like a chat killer, is it?

This one really... Once you've done it. ...loses the journey, destroys our banter. We lean on it too much. Is there, are we live? Can we see like, people chatting in chat? Yes. Shall we take questions from them at some point?

Yeah, we can do that. We can do that. They said, hi Lewis. All right. I'm just getting it up. Is Sips giving the Apprentice a bad time when he watched the series every year? No, I'm not giving the... well, some seasons of the series I will give a bad time. Yeah. The show is fine. I don't really like Alan Sugar though. Lord Sugar. Sorry. His ego is enormous. Yeah. I would be fine if they replaced them now. Like I would have been fine if they replaced

them like 10 years ago. Like I just Who are you going to get? Meaden? Anyone. Debra Meaden? No, not Debra Meaden. Like I don't know anybody. Just don't even have a figurehead of the show, just let the fuckin'... Just have a free-for-all, like, they don't even know who they're trying to impress or get a job with. That'd be good, at the end it's revealed.

Like, yeah, the faceless apprentice, so you don't know who the boss is, and which company you're gonna be working for. There's tons of people who need work. Like Greg Wallace, he could do it. Do you know what I mean? You name it. Like, get a woman in. There's tons of people on TV who are desperate to host The Apprentice.

I don't think Greg Wallace would be good in that role, honestly. I think his sickly co-host on MasterChef might be a bit better. The guy who looks like he's gonna puke every time he eats. This is Greg Wallace's face. You need thicker rimmed glasses. He's got really thick rimmed glasses. Philip Schofield? I think he's been canceled.

Phillips Goldfield. I don't think we'll ever work on TV ever again. Um, Hugh Edwards will never work on TV or do anything. I'm surprised he's not going to spend the rest of his life in jail. Honestly. Uh, Tom Selleck will never do anything ever again. He stole water from, uh, from a fire hydrant to to water his avocado farm during a massive water shortage in California.

Where is he? He stole like thousands of gallons of water from a fire from fire hydrants all over California. He's being sued or maybe prosecuted. I'm not sure. This is 2015. Have you seen him since? He's done.

Resolved a complaint that alleged he stole water from his avocado ranch during a serious drought. Yeah, this was nine years ago. Well, he, uh, tell that to the people who were without water. It probably feels like just yesterday to them. He reached a settlement. Did he? Yeah.

It was a decade ago. Yeah, but he's still not going to work it ever again. Nobody can trust them now. What's he been in since? Blue Bloods. What's that? It's a TV show that's in its 14th season. What?

So I've never heard of it. So it can't be that good. 14 seasons? That one went under the radar? Jesus. I think it's pretty popular in America. Is it? He's almost 80 years old.

This man. Tom Selleck's almost 80 years old? Holy crap. So how old was he in Lookck's almost 80 years old? Holy crap. So how old was he in Look Who's Talking and Look Who's Talking 2? He must have been like in his 60s. No. Come on. Unless you think the 80s was 20 years ago.

Wait, so he would have been our age now at that time. That's fucking wild. I know. Well, you know. I wonder if I could be in Look that's fucking wild. I know. Well, you know, I wonder if I could be in. Look, who's talking three? Look, who's talking for as the baby? As anyone.

I'd like to be the kind of one of all of the path of Tom. I just want Tom to have to carry me around. He's 80 carrying a 48 year old baby. Wow. Wow. Hey, what have you? What have I seen you in lately, Mr. 80 carrying a 48 year old baby. Wow. Wow. What have I seen you in lately, Mr. Sellick? Shut up. Just sticks a bottle in my mouth. Anyway, sorry about that.

Maybe Tom Sellick will see the light of day again. But when the new season of Blue Bloods lands this year, that he is the star of. I don't see Philip Sch When the new season of Blue Bloods lands this year, that he is a star of. Yeah, I don't see Philip Schofield's starring in Blue Bloods or any other things. So I think he's he's probably done right. So he could be the apprentice host.

I mean, he Wallace was like almost canceled, right? Wasn't there like a bunch of shit about Greg Wallace at one point as well? Well, certainly according to the mailbag, there has been. But yeah, I think people just generally don't like it. He comes across as a bit of a twat. Do you think he's any good at total war? Why do you think he could be a competitor? Well, yeah, just thinking how could we use Greg next? What about if we got him in total war, total war, war hammer to total war?

See, that's apparently what he does on a Saturday, isn't it? He was playing like six hours of total war. Yeah, I'd love to. I'd love to see a multiplayer game. Greg Wallace against like a good total war player just crushing him. Greg's face going from smiling about a total war showdown and the winner gets to become the host of The Apprentice or like the the sorry, the not the host, the whatever Alanice or like the sorry, the not the

host, the whatever Alan Sugar is in The Apprentice. He's the boss. The boss, yeah. The back stops with me. You're fired guy. God. The Lord. I'm going to read this Greg Wallace email since we're talking about him.

Greg, a group of the same area he lived in went to school with his daughter, who was the year above. Bracket's very arrogant. So I'm driving the opposite direction in traffic once. I was also in the same class as and I'm not going to say this name or what they were in because I think that could potentially be a lawsuit. But this person claims that an actor you will all know was a cokehead in the school toilets and a wanker.

So there we go. Sorry for the lack of info there, but I, there's no way I could say who that was because I'm pretty sure we could get sued. So it's going to be in a new TV show airing next week. Apparently somebody just said Tom Selleck. No, Philip Schofield. No way. Yeah. Is it to catch a predator? It might be.

I haven't, I haven't done any research on this. That would be a great episode when he got went to his own house. There's just a mirror there. Hang on. This place seems familiar. Why is he back on telly? I thought he was disgraced. Yeah.

I thought this was, I thought this was a big turning point for television. Finally, we get rid of this asshole. We never have to see him again, but he's coming back. He has a Instagram account. He's like reoccurring diarrhea. You just can't get rid of this guy. Dude, there's no comments on his posts. Really?

Yeah. Maybe he's moderating them though. No, his recent, his recent posts, they have 70, 80k likes, one comment, no comments, no comments. They're all moderated then, that's why. Yeah, I think they've been turned off. Let me see, if we go back in time, I don't know how long... I bet they're like, like comments approved only or whatever.

So he goes through and finds a nice one. Yeah, that's literally what's happening. And there's only one. Philip, I love you so much and I think you're so good. And I can't wait to see your new show. Those are the ones that he's approving and all the other ones where. I'm suspicious. There is a surprising lack of likes on these posts.

All right. Some of them. This guy has two point seven million followers and like hardly any likes on his posts. That's is terrible. Oh, my God. It's like the Yolk's cast. I want I want to meet somebody in real life who follows Philip Scofield on social media. Who would bother?

I know everybody's going to say, well, who would follow you fucking three boomers as well on social media? And that's fine. But I would love to meet somebody who actually follows Philip Schofield on social media. I want to get inside the mind of somebody who follows Phillips Gofield on social media. I think the people that watch that show with him and who was that hot lass that was on the show with him? Was it Holly Willoughby or was it someone else? Yeah. Fit. So if you're watching that, if you're watching that, I guess you're watching it during

the day. People like Phillips Gofield because he's like your son that actually calls occasionally. Do you want to mean like a son that is actually there for you and calls and checks up on you and does things for you rather than most sons who are just called maybe once a week. I call my mom about once a week

and check she's all right. Phillips Goffield is there every day. Hi, mom, just dropping off some roses. I thought you'd like, you know, that's the vision of the good son. That was Scofield. Now it turns out he's a predator. So yeah, I think they've maybe he's going to be back on TV. Oh, this woke nonsense. I'm not cash seeing Phillips. I think he's wonderful. That's what they'll be saying. Yeah. Yeah. Please. People like some reason. Find a loophole. Let's get rid of this guy

once and for all. We don't need him. There's all sorts of other people that can do his job. We don't need him back. Loads of people waiting in the wings. Get Greg Wallace in. Yeah, exactly. He's going to be the new Claire Boulding, but he's just like, you know, fucking in everything. Yeah. I'm behind that. For sure. You want Greg in more things. Well, I don't watch them anyway, so it's not going to bother me. Generate more emails for the mailbag regarding Greg Wallace. Just remember, if you have a good

real life spot of Greg Wallace, let us know. We've had some cracking Greg Wallace related. Yeah, some really good emails in about Greg Wallace out in the wild about G Dub. Really, really interesting ones. Hey, I started watching this show recently called Industry. Have you guys seen it? No, no. What is this? It's a HBO, BBC. There's three seasons of it.

The third season's airing in America right now. And I was going to get Harrington in. Yes. It's like a business thing. It's a business thing. It's like a soft core porno as well. It's the raunchiest show I've ever seen before in my life. Do you guys, when I, when they, when they get- People are constantly sucking each other off and it's insane all the time.

I don't like it. I hate seeing, when, as soon as there's a sex scene on telly, I just put my phone out. I'm busy doing something else. It's boring. It's a surprise. A surprising amount of, um, of, uh, of, of dick in the show as well. You see a lot of people's dicks and apparently in season two, you see an erect penis. I haven't, no, it has been caught.

Like I think it says. The BBC cut it. Yeah. I think it was aired in America, but not the BBC had to cut the erect penis. It's like I said, you know, this is what I said a few years ago and people poohed it. They said, period, you're mad. I said that in the next couple of generations, it will be expected for hardcore pornography to be in feature films. I guarantee you, everybody will be

fucking on screen and that'll be like an action movie will have like the action sequences, some character shit and then they'll just literally be a sex scene where they're actually banging nuts on her face and that's like one of the key scenes in the film. That'll be in the fucking trailer. I guarantee you. It's coming. It's coming. I guarantee you it's on its way. Yeah. And that'll be, that'll be the be what everyone's talking about. And that's why, you know, because everything, again, it's always like, the things that are closest to not being allowed. Well, hold on. It's not a slippery slope fallacy. It's not a slippery slope fallacy. I said,

as well, again, people doubted me that when the Super Mario Brothers movie did well and the Marvel movie was all on the slide. You're inter-Greg leaked out a little bit there. I was like, hang on, all it's going to be is video game movies. That's going to be the next big thing. I fucking guarantee that's that's literally what's happening. Look at his video game movies in production. Yeah, in production. You've seen this.

Movies as well or TV shows. This is video game movies in twenty twenty four and beyond. Sonic three. Minecraft movie Five Nights at Freddy's two Street Fighter. The Super Mario Brothers two Legend of Zelda Ghost of Tsushima until Dawn. The Sims years of war more combat to return to Silent Hill. Death Stranding Days Gone Dredge. They're making a movie.

Yeah. Stray, which is about that cat, Bioshock, Space Channel 5, Comic Zone, and then TV shows. Tomb Raider, The Legend of Lara Croft, Like a Dragon, Yakuza, Arcane Season 2, Last of Us, Fallout, Witcher, God of War, Gears of War, Devil May Cry, Twisted Metal, Assassin's Creed, Split 2 Cell, and Castlevania. Don't tell me I'm wrong. It's coming. It's just going to be video games for fucking ever. Listen, this the show industry is is quite good, though. Like if you can get past the raunchiness or maybe you embrace the raunchiness, I don't know. But it's good.

It's about like it's a businessy one, but it's about these like grads, grad students who are starting their careers at like a, you know, like a, like a, like a, like a market exchange sort of, you know, firm, big, big money, big clients, they do like a lot of like FX trading and shit like that. And it's so it's like a very intense environment. And everybody swears at each other a lot and yells at each other. And then after work, they go to all of these clubs and just bang each other all the time and jizz on each other, too. There's actually a scene where you see jizz on someone. Sounds like a jingle.

I've never seen that on TV before. I've never seen jizz on on a person on TV before. I don't think in a TV show. Wait, there's something about Mary. He nuts in her hair by mistake. Yeah. But this was like, I mean, it was like a gross only see the, the, the sort of petrified hair in that you don't actually see like the puddle of jizz, but in this there was, there was

jizz on a, on a man's chest. Yeah. Nice. He just had jizz on his chest. It's like succession with more sex. Oh god yeah, succession was a good bit. Yeah, it's a little bit like that. It doesn't have the whole Murdoch kind of angle to it though, you know, it's more like...

With the patriarch. Is it funny though? Is it funny? Is industry funny? Is it a lot of cocaine? No, it's kind of sad actually. There's a lot of cocaine. Yeah, it's just like really degenerate people who work in a really intense environment.

But I see, uh, I don't know if you're meant to feel like this, but I, I always just feel like almost like, sorry for all of them. Cause it, it's like such a shitty, they're like at the start of the series, I won't spoil it, but somebody works themselves to death basically. Doesn't get any sleep. Does all these drugs to stay awake and do TPS reports or whatever and then dies because they have a heart condition or whatever. And it's just like... If I had access to that I would do the same. I would stay up all night playing Satisfactory and cocaine myself to death.

Just cocaine yourself into oblivion. Wait, someone in chat thinks that really degenerate people who work in a really intense environment is like the Yogs guys, but nothing intense about the Yogs. We started today at 11. Alright? If we were being intense, we would start at 5 in the morning and we would stream for 15 hours, we'd be fucking touring constantly, just soot soot, we'd start at five in the morning and we would stream for 15 hours. We'd be fucking touring constantly just would just be ready.

Eyes bugging out of a head bloodshot. We gotta keep making content. This is an hour and a half. I feel like an environment is more intense when you have to deal with like outside clients and stuff, especially when there's a lot of money involved. You know, like if you're doing like a trade for somebody worth half a million bucks and it goes wrong or whatever, you're definitely going to be doing a lot of cocaine that day to try to cope with the stress and the fallout of it.

I've never had to do that in 12 years of YouTube and streaming. No. Not even once. Do you reckon it's to do with the... I think like these industries though, and people generally, they do get very passionate and into something, especially where it's like, oh, suddenly I can make a load of money. It's almost like this is my chance, right? And people have been waiting for it and they push themselves and they overdo it. And they, I don't know, like for a long time... I guess sometimes there's this idea that if I just hammer it now, make loads of money, I can just give up, you know? It's

like a pro football. I've done my ten years of, like, grind. I can just do, like, whatever they do now. Appear on fucking Celebrity MasterChef and stuff. It's just fun though, isn't it? It's fun. What we do is fun. Well, speak for yourself. I take it very seriously and I don't get much joy out of it. It's just something I got to do, you know?

Oh, you need me. Oh, sorry. I have to go and do something really quick, I'll be right back. This happens every podcast. It wouldn't be a podcast without Sips having to do something dad related. To do with a plumber, a builder, a boiler man, the garbage, someone's dog has escaped, there's a bull in the garden, there's a kid, one of them's puked. One of them has like fallen over. One of them has like not done their homework or they've been sent home from school or...

Toys away. This is the bit where me and Peefax just wait silently. No, we talk. I'm looking for something. So I have a favorites a favorites on, on YouTube or all my old favorites. Do you have a favorites list on YouTube? No. You don't favorite videos. No. Huh.

How do you look at stuff you liked again? I don't. What do you mean? I just don't do that. What does that, what does that mean? Well, I just don't do that. What does that mean? Well, I just don't do that. I've watched a lot of YouTube, but I guess I don't want to watch the video twice. Like, it's like a detective movie or a book. I'm not going to read it twice.

I know the solution. I know what's happened in it. I have so many playlists. Well, you've got loads of playlists. Yeah. I've got a favorites playlist that has 1308 videos in and I sometimes go through that and look at old favorites again. I've got a playlist called full movies, which is full films that you can find on YouTube.

A lot of them are very old. But you've seen them. Some of them. Yeah, some of them. I'm like, Oh, I'll watch that. And if I'm stuck somewhere and let's say Netflix is down, but I can get on YouTube, I'll watch it. I've got documentaries, which is just interesting documentaries that I keep.

I also keep them here so I can share them with people. I'm like, oh, through a good documentary about that. And then I'll share them with someone else. I've got lots of songs that I could only find on YouTube, not on Spotify or anywhere else. I've saved those. I'm interested in the documentaries playlist. Are you? Interesting.

Why? Well, because it's a good idea. How about this is a playlist with- What would interest you would probably interest me. Okay. All right. So this is on my documentaries playlist. I'll tell you what's on it.

How Burger King lost to Wendy's. Oh, that's a 51 minute one. That sounds like a podcast that I could listen to. Yeah. Making sense of VR chat. The metaverse people actually like. So I don't need to, I don't need to watch that. Stay alert, stay alive. The techniques and mechanics of arrest. Arrest. Which is an arrest. So 1960s, 1970s, I think 1960s. A lot of these old movies used to be made that they would show to young police officers. OK, like, all right, everybody, sit down.

We got a little film for you guys. John, you got the projector working. OK, we're going to start it up here in a sec. This one's called Stay Alert, Stay Alive. Now, pay attention. You might learn something. And it's like a video where the guy goes, it's always a guy in a suit. Hello, I'm so and so from the FBI.

When arresting a criminal, there are some things to remember, and it'll show like a copadunit the wrong way and getting blasted in the face. And it'll show the right way in him, like getting him on the ground and the guy giving up. It's like how to arrest people in a safe way, because we think of like of this kind of stuff has all learned the hard way I guess right so that's what a bunch of Cold War training documentaries that they showed to British Army Which are really really interesting a video for the police in the UK called anything can happen from

1973 okay, it's just two bobbies on the beat just Really struggling with a bad day and weird stuff happening. This is this sounds cracking. Dude, this is just my playlist of documentaries of documentary about life on a US nuclear submarine. Oh, there is a when blackmailing a drug lord goes terribly wrong, which is worth a watch. A couple of Jenny Nicholson videos, the one about the last BronyCon and of course the Star Wars Hotel one. There's one called So You Wanna Be a Gambler.

And I don't know if you guys remember this, but people used to sell. Gaming table. It was not the gaming table. This guy was American, not the gaming table. He's talking about the slot machines and how to make money on the slot machines. And you would send these guys, just send me $19.99 to the Farmer P.O. Box and I'll send you my VHS so you want to be a gambler too. And it's like tips for how to make money in Vegas. There is a documentary about the Lehman Brothers going bust.

There is the history of Mike Tyson's Punch Out World Records, which is a two hour video that is a great watch. That's Summoning Salt. He's fantastic if you haven't seen of him. What does it mean to be alive in profound isolation, which is an interesting video. An old country buffet training video, which is like how to greet the customer when you're cutting up the calvary at the buffet doing the meat. Mr. Rogers.

I love the idea of this stuff. Like it is so interesting. This is almost as good as my playlist of all those videos of people crawling into like really, really narrow caves and cracks and stuff. Hundreds of videos in this playlist. Yeah. Yeah. Am I putting a video on while eating sort of guy. So when I'm having lunch, I

will generally sit at my computer because I'm just having a sandwich or something or maybe a bowl of noodles. I'll put the YouTube bit on that's like half an hour long so I can eat that and then finish it off before I do anything. In the evening, I'm very much an eat in front of the telly guy

because I've only got a couple of hours. Really. I cook dinner, we eat dinner. I'm watching telly for a bit, and then I start streaming again at eight if I'm working in the evening. So you know, it's like, I like to have something to watch and I don't just want to watch YouTube vids compilation of like footballers scoring long range goals or home runs or whatever. I'd like to watch something that's a documentary that at least teaches me something, Because they're very well made. Lollies are very, very well made. Yeah. Yeah, I've seen some decent documentaries on YouTube before. I don't watch a ton of them, but the ones that I have seen have been pretty good. You know, like well put together,

lots of information and stuff. More so than you would have gotten from like, it depends on the subject, right? Some subjects just, there's not a lot of information about, you have to really, really, really go digging. And I feel like some YouTube documentaries are better at doing that than, you know, some of the like the bigger documentaries, but then some of the bigger documentaries are very good too. I just think that in general, the kind of documentaries that we see on like Netflix or HBO or whatever, they're amazing.

Like the Fyre Festival documentary stuff. I didn't watch that one, actually. I should watch it. Especially because they're doing a Fyre Festival 2 insanely. I think they're doing it because they know they can sell the rights for another Netflix documentary. But there you go. That kind of stuff is quite broad.

Sort of appeal, I guess. And it's like stuff that most people would find interesting. What I love about YouTube documentaries is they will be about stuff super fucking niche like fucking Mike Tyson's punch out on the NES and the history of world records in that game. No one's, that's never going to make it onto Netflix. No. But I'll spend two hours watching that. Things like the history of like Starcraft or the history of Fallout or, well, maybe they might do a Fallout documentary now that the TV series has been really big, but before the TV series. I didn't even know if they would do it then. Yeah.

I think most people would be like an hour and a half about what and it's all clips of like old games and moments that you and I would you know might remember. Yeah. But the average person could be like I need way more context. Yeah. So I think most documentaries have to be relatively broad because the more niche it is the more you need to come preloaded with some kind of knowledge. Otherwise they have to fucking explain it. This is a video game console. You know, some people go, what's that? So, you know, it's like, I think the more broad appeal stuff is much simpler, but YouTube allows people to make very, very, very niche documentaries because they'll, you'll find them. People will find them.

And also it's fascinating to watch someone who knows a lot about something or is interested in something. Cause it's like, it's really, I don't know, it's like they're clearly interested in it and they're trying to share that interest with you and almost give you the highlights of, you know, all the good bits. Even in those like Jenny Nichols videos, they're four hours, some of them hugely long, but like kind of just very watchable, right? It's like very compellingly, you know, it's not boring. No. That's the thing. I mean, but I think a lot of the successful YouTube commentaries are kind of personality

driven. Like she's very likable and charismatic and she's kind of sweet and funny and it's nice to just hear her yap in a way I don't watch didn't watch the whole thing in one sitting but it was like it was just a nice relaxing thing to watch that was also interesting and funny and at times really cringy so I really liked it but you'd never get anything like that you'd have to boil it down to a segment on other on a TV show you couldn't pitch that to executives it's our four-hour documentary about the Star Wars Hotel. They'd be like, no way. That would never get made. Right. And that's the power of YouTube

and these platforms is that I don't think even the people who's to make them think they'll get 4 million views or whatever. Right. They just, I'm just doing this because this is the way I want to make it. And this is how long it takes. You know, this is, I want to deep dive into everything and get it all done. And this is how, you know, I mean, you could make it a 10 episode series, each one, 40 minutes, but I guess until you start making it, you don't know how long it's going to be, right? I think it's, I think the freedom that these platforms give means that you can do more organic and naturally made things, rather than things that are as

locked down and scripted. But the push is these days really into quick, lazy, short form, like as quick as possible, right? It's always been... ALICE Except for that documentary about the girl who was found dead in the water tank above that hotel. That was like six episodes and he's a lamb. Yeah, yeah, it was a really interesting story. Wasn't she just mentally ill? She was. Well, yeah, but I mean, it's still, it's like, it wasn't a big mystery. People know it wasn't a huge mystery.

No, it's still a mystery until, well, until they found her and realized what happened. Yeah. Um, much like anything. But six episodes for that was too much. I think I've seen more than one documentary on that as well. It's not like just... It wasn't just one. This is why I don't keep things as my favourites, Pflats.

Because another one will come around. Do you know what I mean? If it's good enough, I'll see it again. Fair enough. Know what I'm saying? My YouTube recommended right now is all Disney videos. You don't have a separate account for your kids? My daughter just goes on my iPad sometimes and just watches over and over and over again, like sing-along songs from Disney movies.

Let it go and... Do you guys not watch Nile Red? Do you have watched Nile Red? No, I don't know. And I L E Red. He's a chemist. Oh, I'll give you an example. His videos are super long.

His voice is quite stupid. You wouldn't like that. I don't think I would. This is a video three weeks ago, already 7.7 million views making an atomic trampoline. It's an hour long video where he tries to make this special metal that's bouncy. And it's like how he does it.

He tends to put a video out every few months, turning styrofoam into cinnamon candy, making bulletproof wood, turning plastic gloves into hot sauce, stuff like that. So he does stuff using chemistry and all this crazy equipment that he's got. He turns plastic gloves into hot sauce? Yeah, he found a way to do it. He's brilliant. And really, really watchable. So he's not just melting rubber gloves and saying, here's some hot sauce.

No, dude, he literally chemically turns it into hot sauce. Yeah, that's how chemistry works. He breaks this down with this and then rinses this off and then adds that and then blah, blah, blah. And eventually he turns them into hot sauce so that there's some chemical in the gloves that is also in hot sauce in a different form or something like that. Right. Yeah. So it's it's very clever and really funny.

Because sometimes it goes wrong. But his stuff is really good. His delivery is... Yeah, I thought, I've recommended to you before, Lulu, I'm sure. And you were like, yeah, I'll check it out. Which means I'll never check it out. Well, the thing is, you know what it's like? These platforms are designed to hook you in to something... Like TikTok is the pinnacle of it, but they know how much you're watching, they know what it's like. These platforms are designed to hook you in to something. TikTok

is the pinnacle of it, but they know how much you're watching, they know what keeps you interested, and they know who you are. They know how old you are, what gender you are, where you live, what you like, and as a result they can show you stuff that you will click on. And as a result, I'm like, oh yeah, I want to see this Lego City. Oh yeah, I want to see this Jurassic Park supercut. Oh yeah, I want to see this, you know, whatever it is, Warhammer thing. You know, mine is just full of, you know, the whole front page is like, like ten different, ten different things. It's like, you know, a bit of the Daily Show, a bit of, you know, some epic history battles. You know, like, I just, it's, it's, it's a spiff video. I've got lots of court stuff, because I watch quite a lot of American court, because a lot

of it is recorded. It's really interesting to see. So I've got one of those. I've got something, there's a new guy I follow called Wine King and which is close. He's a wine king. He's talking about as mongold. He's a South Korean guy who's a wine expert and speaks French and he goes to French restaurants and they treat him like shit and he like speaks French to them and they suddenly act nice. That's the gist of the videos. I see stuff about nuclear engineers. Um, because I would say here's something, this is pretty dark, but I don't know if you guys noticed this. Obviously we're in September, September, the anniversary of nine 11 was not long ago. Yeah. And so YouTube keeps recommending me, um, the unedited footage of the morning news from a

channel from prior to the attacks to the attacks happening and the aftermath and then watching live and reactions and all the rest of it yes they're like four or five hour uncut videos and I watched one the other day I was like let me see if I remember it the way I remember it if it was that way because I was on honeymoon with Mrs. F we were in Bali it was the evening turn on the TV just to see what's on the news. We didn't get many English language channels. I think CNN was the only one that we got really. And- It was your honeymoon?

Yeah. We were, we were, we got married. Yeah. I got married first in September, 2001. So we're, you know, we're into the honeymoon and it's, it's, it's great. We're having a lovely time, but of course 9-11 happens. Fucking had to ruin your honeymoon. Of course it did. It didn't ruin the honeymoon. It didn't happen in Bali. No, it didn't.

I can imagine. The next year there was a bombing. That was the Bali bombing. The year after our honeymoon. Oh, so it could have been worse. It could have been worse. Um, but literally American tourists who just arrived were flying home immediately from Bali because they flying home, immediately, from

Bali, because they were like, shit, we gotta go home. But the crazy thing is, I was watching it on TV, and people have to remember, terrorism in the 20th century was bad, but it wasn't what we remember it being, because it used to be things like terrorists have hijacked a plane. ALICE Yeah, they would hijack planes or bomb planes. In the 80s, it was tons of plane hijackings and bombings. I mean, if you look up terrorism in the 70s, it was every fucking week a plane was getting hijacked. It was such a meme. All these movies had hijackings in. Like, fucking Dirty Harry,

whichever Magnum Force has a fucking hijack. And a whole bunch from hijack, hijack, hijack, terrorist, terrorist. A lot of bombings and stuff. But they weren't suicide bombings. And that was the thing is that when 9-11 happened, I was watching on TV and I turned on the TV and I was like, oh, shit, the World Trade Center is on fire. And they were like, a plane has crashed into the World Trade Center. Everybody thinks it's an accident at this point. And they are on the phone on this.

It was the morning show with today, the Today program. They're on the phone with this lady. She's like, yeah, I saw it happen. It's crazy. There's a fire. There's fire engines everywhere. And they're asking her what she saw. A second plane hits while she's on the phone with them. She's like, oh, my God, a second plane just hit.

And you see, because they've got the live feed, it's a big explosion. And she's like, oh, they must be having trouble with the air traffic control today. Like her first thought was this must be a terrible double accident. And I thought the same thing, I was like, maybe the smoke from the first building fire, you know, but it was like, it was just so inconceivable. It was so inconceivable that it was deliberate. So I just thought, watching those videos, you can see, they had no idea what was coming. Nobody could cope with this on live TV, it was crazy.

ALICE It was definitely a different time. You're right about hijackings and things. When was the last time we heard about hijacking? It's just not news anymore, is it? Or not possible anymore? Or not... ALICE Yeah, well, I mean, certainly hijacking, I can't even remember the last time there was one or even a plane being

bombed. I can't remember the last time. I think because it happened often enough in the 70s and the 80s that they clamped down on airport security big time at the time. But then the other big push for airline and airport security was after 9-11, right? That was after 9-11 was when you couldn't take water through security. You had to take your shoes off. There was that one guy who tried to, who had a bomb in his shoe after 9-11. So Richard Reed, the shoe bomber was when they said no more shoes.

You have to take your shoes and put it through the scanner. The water thing was another plot that they thought they'd uncovered where these guys had found a way to take two bottles of water in that were not water. And you could supposedly mix these chemicals in the bathroom and then using heat, you could cause an explosion. Apparently it was super unlikely, but that was when they started saying no water. Like they kept adding shit on.

Like initially it was just right, full screening, all bags, like everything. Yeah, bags couldn't go right through, right? There was none of that. After 9-11, you had to, for connecting flights, you had to pick up your bags and recheck them in for your next flight and everything. But you used to just turn up. That's starting to ease now. Like you can, now, we went away last year and our bags went right through. And I remember even at the time we were like, really? They're going to go right through. Like we couldn't believe it. They're like, yeah, yeah, no, they're

going to go right through. They'll be they'll be in Jersey when you get back. And we're like, wow. Yeah, it's so it's it's so much better when that happens. But it's just been so long since it has happened because they really clamped down on all. Have you ever had a bag, you guys ever had a bag where, you know, when it's coming through the x-ray scanner and then it's got that naughty conveyor belt where it gets shunted off. And someone goes, whose bag is this? You have to go forward and they're like, oh, you packed 17 gallons of water in here. It's happened to me a couple of times and it's always been when my bag was like ready

to burst open. Like, there was just too much stuff in there. And then normally that is because I forgot, oh yeah, I left a bottle of water in there or something like that. I had carcass on the board game in my life. I've never had. I don't want to jinx myself either, but I've never had issues with losing luggage or anything like that. Carkus on the board game was because the blocks of cards looked like in my bag.

She's he turned around and said, this is what we saw. And it was two solid blocks and loads of wires, because that was my vape charging thing and all the batteries. And I love the way he's like, oh, that looks like a bomb. Call him over. So if you got a bomb in's like, oh, that looks like a bomb. Call him over. Oh, sir, have you got a bomb in your bag? That's essentially what they're doing. Cause then I could just go, yeah, and just punch it or whatever. And it blows up.

You know, those, you know, the areas where you go through like nothing to declare and you can see all the, all the tables and stuff, those TV shows, those where the guys, uh, heroin is is leaking into his inner ass, like it's exploded and he can't even stand upright while they're searching his bags. Those places are always packed during those shows, but they're completely empty. I've never seen anyone in that area of an airport ever in my life. It's deserted. And I've traveled a lot. I've never seen anybody area of an airport ever in my life. It's deserted. And I've traveled a lot. Like, I've never seen anybody in there doing anything.

I think in the last 10 years of travel, I've seen maybe one person with their bag up and someone going through it. I've never been stopped. I've never seen anybody stop. I've never even seen... Occasionally there's a guy on a stool looking bored. But I'm like, what's the deal here? Like, is there no, no one cares?

Have they? Is the security so tight? It's like certain flights or something. I don't know. I think they probably profile it pretty heavily, but I also think they scan the shit out of the bag somewhere, right? They must be detecting a bunch of this stuff elsewhere. I think they know what they're looking for ahead of time, right? And very occasionally you'll get spot checked, but

I've had it once where somewhere, because in Jersey they have like, you know, nothing to declare, but they have like the officers are just standing there. Yeah. And you walk by one time in like 20 years, they stopped me and they're like, oh, hey, you know, where are you coming from? And asked me like a couple of like really basic questions. And then we're just like, yeah, okay, go ahead. Once I'm going to pop to the loo. I'm also going. And then when I come back, we can do the mailbag if you guys want.

Okay, sure. I will do those news first. And then I popped away before not to go to the two. Well I did go to the bathroom, but I didn't actually go to the toilet while I was in the bathroom. My shower is leaking and there's a guy here replacing our shower unit because of the leaking. It looks like hell in there. You should see how much water has leaked in behind the tiles.

There were tiles fixed onto plywood and you could tell that it was leaking because all the grouting in between the tiles is starting to come off. The tiles are starting to threaten to come off. But also there's water leaking into my kitchen which is below the bathroom. So he's come in, he's taken all the tiles out, getting it ready to put this new unit in. You should see all the rotten wood behind. Like it's really gross. It's all like, uh, it's like all soggy and stinks and never buy a house. It's never just don't do it. Cause if you, I feel like if you rent somewhere, it's just someone else's, else's problem, right? You just say, yeah, the bathroom is like hell, can you fix it? And then they

probably will fix it, or maybe not, depending who your landlord is, but then you could just get another place, right? Well, this is it. Like, I'm still renting and I think there's a number of reasons why. Like, I sort of assumed that this thing wouldn't work out, you know what I mean? I'm like, oh, the yoke's not gonna work out. I'll rent, cause I don't want to stay in Bristol, you know. And then, um, you know, then I was like, oh, well, you know, buying a house, a lot of faff, and then, um, just, just things happened. There's a lot of faff.

Just didn't want to do it. But now I've been thinking about it. I've been thinking about, I've been thinking about, um, looking at, looking at places finally. Buy a, buy a place that's just been built and hope that it has been built properly. Don't buy an old place, cause it's... What does old mean? Well, I think my house was built maybe in the 60s, and it's not so bad, but there's some weird shit, like, in all of the bedrooms, if you go outside of the house,

you can see that there's, like, plumbing on the outside of the house coming from every bedroom. Because I think when the house was built, every room had a sink in it. Okay. Like, it wasn't built that long ago, but apparently it was a thing. Maybe that was a hot thing in the 60s. You could just wash your dick and your balls in your sink in your room. Maybe it was like a brothel.

I dunno. It's just weird. Do you ever hear like a ghost, like, planting like a sexy ghost? I don't know if it's a UK thing, I've never come across anything like that in Canada. But, I mean, most of the houses that we lived in when I lived in Canada or in the neighborhoods that were built in like the eighties. So I guess, you know, maybe it was past the point of everyone having to sink in their room. I don't know. My house, my house was built in 1905. So it have sinks in all the rooms. No, it didn't

even have a toilet in the house when it was built. They had an outhouse. So yours was built so long ago that there wasn't even any indoor plumbing at the time. Hardly any. Hardly any. Let me think. One, two, three fireplaces downstairs. And I think one upstairs as well. It's had a lot of work on all. When did you when did you buy your your house?

What year did you buy your house? Early 2000s. Right. OK. Early 2000s. And when you moved in, did you have to have a lot of work done to it? Like, did you buy it from an old couple who still had the old electric system and stuff? No, it wasn't like that. We bought it from a lady who hadn't had it long, because her and her husband got it and then they got divorced.

So she was selling. Did another disaster happen on the day you bought it, like the tsunami or like fucking London bombings or something? Probably. Just wondering if all landmark events in your life have been like punctuated by... No, dude, I'm telling you, if I go somewhere, don't go there the next year, okay? Right. When...

Bali, the next year, the Bali bombing. We went to Turkey, the next year somebody blew themselves up outside the Hagia Sophia, that square there. I think, I don't think I went to New York in 2000, but I may well have done. I'm bad news, dude. You're like a harbinger of disaster. No, I think it's like final destination. It's going to catch up with me sooner or later.

Right. It's like a year behind. Instead of happening the year after it's going to happen, the moment you're there, it's going to align. The common denominator, Copenhagen is next. Yeah. So keep your eyes on it. Big Copenhagens.

Alright, um. News me. Oh, you want me to do the thing now, do you? So Sam puts these together. Do you remember that Skyrim grandma on YouTube? No. Maybe. Shirley Curry?

Is it the same one who's decided she's not gonna do gaming videos anymore? Yeah, she's 88. Right. She's been making Skyrim videos for nine? Yeah, she's 88. Right. She's been making Skyrim videos for nine years since she was a more youthful 79 year old. Wait, wait, she's just playing it. She plays Skyrim and makes videos of her playing Skyrim. Skyrim, Shirley Curry.

She has made 2,300 videos in the last nine years on Skyrim. Oh big deal, I I made more than that. And uh. I made more videos than that. She has become a beloved figure to an audience of 1.3 million subscribers, and it's enormously sad news that the internet's favourite grandma is no longer making Skyrim videos. She said she is fed up with Skyrim. Oh my god.

That's fair enough, but let me just say something. Her videos get like 3k views, so don't be making out. She's a- where's her fan base? 2, 3k views? This lady's fucking grinding and- she's spending the last few years of this Earth making content for people. 2.4k views, 2.3, 2.1. Hardcore fans.

I'm just saying, you can't come out and say you're a fan of Shirley Curry, if you haven't watched her fucking stuff. That's disgraceful. I think it's possible that she actually would prefer just doing the vlogs now as well. Yeah, well her vlogs do great, dude. I think the vlogs do better than YouTube changing. She's got to change, you know? Change with the times, Shirley Curry. Don't do an episodic Skyrim playthrough. Good for you. You know, get a podcast, you know, whatever. Episode one, Katamet.

This is nine years ago. Yeah. It's 15 minute vid. Good length. No intro. No. I feel like she's my direct competition. So I'm not going to be, I'm not going to be commenting on it.

I don't want to give her the publicity. So you deal with viewers. She's your direct competition to you, because you're also an oligarch. Same deaf graphics. I'm coming for you, Sips. I want your viewers. Get away from me, Shirley! I'm playing Skyrim.

I'm gonna move on to Fallout next. I'm gonna play Fallout next. I'm gonna do 1,500 hours of Satisfactory. I'm gonna do a lot of stuff. I'm gonna do a lot of stuff. I'm gonna do a lot of stuff. I'm gonna do a lot of stuff. I'm gonna do a lot of stuff.

I'm gonna do a lot of stuff. I'm gonna do a lot of stuff. I'm gonna do a lot of stuff. I'm gonna do a lot of stuff. I'm gonna do a lot of stuff. I'm gonna do a lot of stuff. I'm gonna do a lot of stuff. I'm gonna dorim. I'm going to move on. I played that one. I'm going to play Fallout next. One thousand five hundred hours of satisfactory power wash simulator. Next week. Power wash simulator. Oh, man.

What? You know what? You would like to see. Why is YouTube so hard? A biotic factor. You should play that. That's really fun. That's really good. I heard it's really good actually. Yeah. Do it with Justin or something.

Maybe us three could play it together. We have to find a game that the three of us can play together nicely. I've played it a bit, so I could probably help. Not something that we all get pissed off at. I kind of got carried through it by a pair who'd played it before. I think that's sort of how it works. It's a bit of a cryptic maze, but it's good. It's basically like a survival game, but instead of in the open world, you're in like a Half-Life

style, massive underground mega facility. Imagine you're one of the scientists at Black Mesa in Half-Life 1 when it all goes wrong and Gordon Freeman is not there to save you. You've got to get out yourself. That's the setup. Right. So the graphics look like arse, and the voice acting is terrible, but it's a really fun game. Next, next one. Uh, Lego news.

Okay. Okay. There is a new Lego lair minifig. Right? What? So, so there's been multiple... Princess lair minifig. Right? What? So, so there's been multiple... Leia. Princess Leia, you mean.

Princess Leia minifigs. Oh, I see. And... Leia. There was a... previously there was a leia slave girl minifig. Okay? She shows less skin. And people are being weird about it, is this the headline?

Yes. They've apparently given her slightly bigger shorts, and... Why is she? She hasn't got lipstick on, she's smirking. Her hair is... she's got a braid on the front of her. Okay. She's just slightly less leg. So, LEGO have announced this $500 Jabba's barge.

Yeah, I'm seeing that. Now... $500 for a LEGO set? Yeah, dude, it's not for kids, is it? This is for sweaty old men who want to see naked Princess Leia. Just give them what they want, LEGO. But, there's gotta be better places to find that than LEGO. Yes, there is.

But, I mean, I like- Yeah, but they get to hold her. I get to hold her. But, but hold her. But you're my slave girl now. Get on the barge. I paid $500 for this. You better show me some skin. You know, my barge. Shake it till you make it, baby. Come on.

My lightsaber's ready. My lightsaber's ready! My lightsaber's ready! Oh man. Um, yes, it's a hulking set. I can't say it's the most iconic thing, but they've got Scrape the Barrel, they've done all the other stuff. They've done TIE Fighters and Dead Stars and... I think the barge was pretty iconic, dude.

Jabba's Barge is just a big old orange barge for sale. It was a memorable scene from the movies. The opening of Return of the Jedi is the big... Tie Fighters and Death Stars and... I think the barge was pretty iconic, dude. Come on. Jabba's Barge is just a big old orange barge. It was a memorable scene from the movies. The opening of Return of the Jedi is the big action sequence at the start of Roach. Come on! I don't know if the Jabba's Barge for me has been like that much of a memory trigger. Not a true fan.

The Sarlacc pit. Yeah, I remember that. I remember the whole scene. Yeah, well, I'm sure they've done a Lego Sarlacc pit before, but do you know what I mean? They're running out of... It's only three minutes. I do know what you mean. Do you mean, they're like, what next?

What next are they gonna do out of those movies? Some forgotten... Some corridor. Some corridor of a base show. Are they gonna do fucking Obi-Wan's caravan? What's the deal? What's the next fucking thing they're gonna do? Did he have a caravan?

Wherever he lives. He lives in like, Little little permit shack or whatever. I'd love it if he had had a little caravan, that would have been amazing. Little caravan on bricks. I mean, fuck. Come into my caravan. Are they gonna do like, the skeletons of like, the uncle and auntie, like outside the fucking houses?

Like, what's... Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. Where's the next, like, Jimmy, where's this, I'm just saying, like, they're Gulp Shittos RV. Thank you, chat. Yes. Gulp Shitto. Someone.

That is such a Star Wars name. Gulp Shitto. Obi-Wan Divorced Dad Living in a Caravan set. Tom and Ben are always talking about it. His name is like bad man, nasty guy or something like that. Elon Sleazebagano. Sleazebagano. Fucking... so pathetic.

Lucas is a genius. He's a cunt. Anyway, the thing is, when you overanalyse these movies to death, which the original Star Wars trilogy... Overanalyze? Well, over... Over Star Wars has been... What the hell is this, is this over Sleaze Baganoo? Every single fucking... There's just like, there's no joy to find in the Star Wars universe anymore, it's been ruined.

The whole thing is... The original... The original trilogy is on such a plinth, compared to other media. You can't appreciate anything. Like, every single scene, every single character in the background has been analyzed, you know, and given a name. And they don't do that to, I don't know, other things like Ghostbusters or whatever, right? Like, all these things.

I'm sure there'll be tons of garbage law in those movies too. It's meant to be a bit of fun, but people always have to just take it so far, you know? You get these people who just complain about it all the time. It's like, just fucking move on. There's other dumb shit you can watch. Who cares, man? It's Star Wars. It was all right. I liked it when I was a kid.

I'm nostalgic for it to some extent, but just move on. Who cares? Find something else. I think the main thing is if there's something else out there that'll make you happy. But if you love the originals that much, they're still there. You know what I mean? I mean, they're still there. What annoyed me was when they re-released them now on Disney.

You can't watch the original version. It's the Lucas CGI fucked with one, which is annoying. Yeah. And I would like it if they I just want to watch the originals. You got a VHS box set. They're still kicking around. Get the VHS box set, dummy. Come on. Just get it. Just get a VHS box set. When are VHS is going to become cool? Your collector, your mash, the complete, complete series, collector's edition, mash box set on VHS. Yeah. As a, as a Lego.'s MASH Lego would be fucking hype, I get that. Did you say when's chess gonna become cool?

No, like tapes. I mean, obviously LPs, there's tons of market stalls and shops even selling LPs in Bristol. And even like, I think some of my friends we were out the other day, and actually people bought some. I was like, who buys these? And I was like, oh my god, everyone apparently buys LPs. So we've had this conversation before, sir. I told you about going to Bournemouth and going to HMV and it was all vinyl.

I get it. But like, when are people bringing back tapes there? The tapes were fucking annoying, even when they were big. The sound quality is when the walk, when your mock them and started to lose battery or the batteries were starting to weaken or fail, it would just eat up your tapes. And it was a real nightmare winding them back up and stuff. Yeah. They sucked.

That laser disc, you ever have a tape melt in your car because it was so hot in your car and then it's all warped when you're listening to it? The whole thing was just not great. If you listen to a record it sounds really good because it's not digital, right? And it's lossless unless there's a scratch on it. So like a mint condition piece of vinyl is still going to sound amazing, in a way that a tape is not, because it's not lossless, it does degrade. And it's just, it always had a hiss, weird hiss to it, I never thought tapes were good, it was just what we had. And CDs, you know, CDs were decent, sound quality's not as good as vinyl, and it is

lossless, but they're also, you know, just a bit wank isn't it? There's nothing charming about a CD compared to a bit of vinyl. Speaking of things that are a bit wank, you're a fan of Marcus Brownlee, or whatever his name is, the reviewer. Yeah, he's not bad, yeah. I don't like Apple products so I tend not to watch all of his vids but I like his presentation. He's not bad. But he released an app called called panels this week, which is like a wall. Panels. Yes. P N L S P A N A E L S panels. It's like, it's like a wallpaper app in 2024 for some

reason. Oh, sorry. I thought you meant that he had called it P N P N L S panels, because that's how you would do an app name. You would leave out the vowels. Obviously. I think that's what the, the problem is. Yes. Because it's rated 2.4 on the Google store. I know. Because he's got a 12 pound per month subscription on it for you to use wallpapers. What? Really? So basically like in 2024, you could subscribe to Mark Whisp Brownlee's app for $12 a month to get wallpapers. What? Has it got ringtones as well? I mean, what the fuck are we, what year is this? Crazy Frog Ringtones. Ding ding.

Why? Why would you do that? 12 bucks a month? I mean, the thing is, he was like, flying, right? Before this, he was like, everyone liked him. Everyone was like, he was, you know, everyone, almost he was like a kind of a really influencing, kind of proper influencer, you know, really like, if he would, if he gave the Apple fucking goggles a bad review, that was the fucking, that was dead. Do you know what I mean? Stuff basically lived or died based on him, especially with kickstarts and things. I mean, he was like absolutely destroying these terrible fucking products. Why?

So this guy, he's clearly smart. He knows tech. He knows the industry. Did no one at any point say, Marcus, mate, this is a terrible idea, dude. Yeah, but maybe he just made a ton of money from it. I don't know. I mean, who's gonna spend 12 bucks on it? It's either that or two ads.

I dunno. Sometimes people get too big for their own... Maybe he needs like an additional Ferrari, I dunno. That works. Um, that's it. That's all the loose news we've got. You got... you don't got any more news? No, you're lucky.

This last is longer than it normally does. I don't have any more news. Now you're lucky that's this this last is longer than normally does. I don't have any interesting tidbits to add. I have no jingle, but we have no way of playing the jingle, unfortunately. We're not very prepared for this live podcast. How long do we have to do this live podcast for? 16 minutes. Oh, my God. How are we going to feel? So you want to do some ad reads?

No, I'm doing mail back. OK, good. Oh, no, do an ad read. Sips? So you want to do some ad reads? I'm no, I'm doing mail back. I'm doing some mail. Oh, OK, good. Oh no, do an ad read, Sips. Yeah, we'll do some bloopers. All right. Do you want any ads? Before we carry on, I'd like to... A word from our sponsor.

Did you know that... Is there anything you would like to advertise? Gaviscon. OK. As you get older, you may find that after a heavy meal, you suffer from heartburn. Use Gaviscon, get a big old bottle of this from somewhere like Costco. And just a little, little bit of that soothes the heartburn. Where do you find triggers your heartburn?

Just being really full of food. It's just it's a fullness thing. Do you like eating loads of food? You don't feel like you don't feel like. So I'm down there with my dad. It's gone. Yeah. I like for me, it's sugar. If I have too much sugar, I'll have heartburn for sure.

And then. But and sometimes if I have too much bread as well. Bread. Have you ever had have you ever had so much bread that you thought you were going to have some form of heart attack because of bread consumption? Like just way too much bread? Too many bready products?

No. No. No, I've had heartburn because of that as well. Really? Too much bread. I do sometimes have to have a... I prefer Rennie. I just use a Rennie.

Yeah. Two Rennies usually does. I guess that bottle there is just a quick, the longer that is, the quicker, isn't it? Yeah. Do you measure it out or you just, you just freestyle? You just take as much as you need. You just mouthful.

Yeah, just quickly and effort. I would like to give a shout out to Oaks Milk, an alternative to regular milk. It's not an alternative, it's dogshit. There's a counterpoint. Point, counterpoint. Can't live with... This is an advert! You're supposed to say something nice about it!

Sorry. I'm doing an advert at the same time, which says don't drink oat milk. For regular milk. Yeah. It's like a... How does it compare to regular milk? It doesn't. Have you done the taste test?

Yes. Have you done the blindfolded taste test? Oh yes, I could easily do it. How did you score on the Coke and Pepsi blind taste test? Well imagine the Coke and Pepsi taste pretty similar, there is a difference. Milk and oat milk? It's like saying, run out of milk? Put some dog piss in your coffee.

You don't need to do a blind taste test. It doesn't taste like milk. It doesn't feel like milk. It's not milk. It's the same. It's kind of like porridge-y milk. It's like milk with a tinge of porridge. And I love porridge. I love oatmeal. So, it works great. Yeah, but what if you just want a glass of cold milk? Oh, it's not the same. No, you don't really want that. No, you don't want to glass of cold milk.

So it's not an effective substitute. Chocolate milk. Brilliant. You can use it in coffee. You're substituting milk for, with porridge. No, it's not that thick. In a drinkable form. You can use it in coffee.

So it's like one of those Weetabix milkshakes, that kind of consistency. No, no, no, no, no, no. There's like little, like kind of like some, some bits in it. No, no, no. It's not like lumpy. Right. Okay bits in it. No, no, no. It's not like, lumpy. Right, okay. But the flavour is definitely not the same. And it does have slightly different consistency.

I like oats. It's got a porridge taste. I'm not a fan of the hobnob, I'm a fan of the oats. Give me oats. So, oat milk. I like oats as well, but I mean, I like just cold milk too. Just normal milk. Well, then stick to milk.

Mork Solfor says, I prefer to drink cum. Thank you for that. You should watch the show industry. There's a lot of coming in that one. All right. They're drinking it. They're eating it. They're using it as like a pasta sauce. Man, they're crazy. This is why we got chat going, for those insights guys, like that. Yeah. Thank you. Anything you've got to advertise, Sips?

No. Get a new shower. If you find yourself in a situation where your shower is leaking and causing damage and spreading mold all over your house, it's time to get a new shower. There must be other things you use in your everyday life. You can get a beautiful shower enclosure from appliancesdirect.co.uk. Costs you not an arm and a leg. Good delivery time. I got a shower enclosure, 800 by 800, the perfect fit for my bathroom. And it arrived in Jersey, okay. In like a week. It's unheard of. That's a good, that's quick.

It turned up in a big truck on a big pallet and the guy who delivered it was like, you know, I can just take all this stuff off the palette. And I said, you know what? That's a great idea because I don't want to be stuck with this palette. I don't know what I'm going to do with it after you leave. So he took all the stuff off the palette and dumped it on my driveway. You might say it would be a little unpalatable. Perfect. It was perfect. Great, great experience. He got highly recommend would definitely do it again? No, not a free shower curtain.

Well, there's no discounts like that. It's not like, you know, buy one, get a free towel rail or anything like that. You must use something every day that you couldn't live without. Yeah, the shower. No, but like, beyond that. There must be appliances that you have in your house and things and stuff, or websites or something you use that you're like, damn, this is good. I would like to advertise this. I can't think of anything off the top of my head. You haven't used in the last week,

a single product that you would recommend to anybody else. I use some co-op brand, it's basically head and shoulders, but it's like the co-op brand head and shoulders shampoo for your hair. Not that I suffer from dandruff. I thought you were going to say not that you have much hair. I don't think I have much dandruff. I don't have much hair left either, but the couple of strands I have left, I do like to shampoo and the co-op brand head strands I have left, I do like to shampoo. And the co-op brand Head and Shoulders is fine, I guess.

There you go. The co-op brand Head and Shoulders is fine, I guess. It doesn't sting my asshole as bad as other shampoo brands. The bottle is a good shape as well. Fits right up there. No problem. Really digging here. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Ten out of ten. Let's do one email. This guy would like to remain anonymous. Says about public toilets.

I'm currently studying a PhD in medieval history, which focuses on waste management in East Anglia. Very specific. My master's degree focused on waste management in East Anglia. Very specific. My master's degree focused on waste management in medieval Peterborough. In short, I know my shit. Medieval shit. Isn't that where the king was buried, in the car park? Richard the Third.

Richard the Third, he was famously buried on a site that they paved over a parking lot that was next to a pub called the Pigan Whistle or something. The goose on the green. Oh, is that Lester? The fox and the lizard. Not Peterborough. Lester. My bad.

I completely agree with you on how terrible it is that public toilets are being shut down. It completely goes against how England and other Western European societies have dealt with waste and sewage. The main issue with managing waste is convenient disposal. If someone needs to urinate, they'll do it wherever is easiest and possible. One option might be free public toilets, but if that's not possible, it's entirely likely that they will piss next to a tree or on a wall. If you go out in London or anywhere, really on a Saturday night, you will definitely see that happening. When you introduce paying for public toilets, it's simply an issue of how much you're willing

to pay to do this. I'm happy to pay 20p, but what if it's one pound or two pounds? Maybe I'd use a tree or the wall. If we remove free public toilets or make them inaccessible to everyone, all we do is end up with waste on our streets. In medieval England, they focused on providing easy waste disposal as they realized that having people dump dung heaps on animal corpses was bad for the community because smells and blocks drains and diseases and all the rest of it. Local towns would fund public latrines and essentially street cleaners on the fines they gained from punishing people who disposed of waste incorrectly or broke other laws.

Dung pits and other such disposal locations would be located around the city walls to provide an easy area to dump waste. It makes literally zero sense to cut down on public toilets and the government surely has money to fund them and if they don't, they should, in my opinion, refocus their expenditure. It's a real issue and if medieval people knew we needed easy public waste disposal, why can't we realise that? Exactly. Regression. Amen, brother. Keep fighting the good fight. Yeah.

We need more public toilets. Let's get those public toilets back going. We need those toilets. They're closing them toilets. Public toilets. Back going on. We need those toilets. They're closing them down. You know what? They closed down a public toilet in town here and they turned it into an Alfresco cafe. We don't need any more of those.

Who wants to eat from there? Yeah. They're preparing food in a toilet. It's disgusting. It's a shame. We're not in prison here. They didn't cook them. They're boiling the noodles in a toilet.

It's disgusting. Disgusting. Anyway. Disgusting. People like not in prison here. They think they didn't insure them. They're boiling the noodles in a toilet. Disgusting. Anyway. Disgusting. People like to go there though. It is a popular joint. It's a popular joint. But yeah, I don't know why they're closing down all the public toilets.

You go to France, they got public toilets staffed. Yeah, you got to pay a little bit to use them, but they're generally pretty clean and they feel safer as well because there's there's somebody there, you know, you don't just feel like you're in the contrast that one time I was in London on the tube. I stopped at Piccadilly station. I use the toilet there somebody shit in one of the urinals the urinal next to it was hanging off the wall. Somebody, I don't know, kicked it off the wall or whatever. They need to go to appliances direct. Like I felt like it was some sort of apocalypse in that bathroom. Right. It was unbelievable. That's a different place.

It's not a pleasant place to expel waste. I see. There was not a free ur-end for you to shit in, either. No. And you know what? The ones that aren't staffed in France, in my experience, you walk in and there's just a hole in the floor, which is kind of disgusting, but they're self-cleaning. You know, they spray like a refreshing mist after you're done. You have to pay to use it.

You go in, you do your thing, you come out, and you can hear it's like magic happening in there after you've left. Alright. in, you do your thing, you come out and you can hear it's like magic happening in there after you've left. All right. There's like raising and worrying and clanking and mist spraying and stuff and it apparently it's you know, clean. Wow. So they spray caustic acid apparently some poor puppets would see a sound an alarm for you to get out before they self clean by spraying caustic acid.

God. No, thanks. Did I read this one to you guys about this guy's shit superpower? He works for cinemas. Did I tell you this? Maybe. Temperature control. He does temperature control at cinemas?

Yeah, I am a BMS engineer building management systems. In layman's terms, the BMS system is the brain behind the building that controls heating and ventilation and keeps people a comfortable temperature without ever having to think it's too warm or too cold. That's that's his job. Okay. The company I work for has the contract to service one of Britain's most popular cinemas.

Yes, that one. Odeon. Mysterious. Odeon. It's got to be. Could be. What's even left? Is Cineworld bigger? I don't know. Sorry, Cineworld. Yeah, what's Cineworld, right? I dondeon. Odeon. It's gotta be. Could be? Isn't Cineworld bigger? I don't know.

Sorry, Cineworld. Yeah, what's Cineworld, right? I don't know. Or Vue? Anyway. This means we are on call to fix any issues with the ventilation for each screen. And when we go occasionally to give everything a check over to make sure no problems occur in the future. The perk of this is that I can use my phone to remotely dial into the software of any cinema I go to, and turn the temperature up or down to my liking for the duration of the film, and then

put it back afterwards so no one is any the wiser. What the fuck? They say power corrupts in it. Not very impressive. This is not a perfect example of that. No, it's great. What you do is, you go on a date with someone. Oh, you make it hot.

Oh, it's getting hot in here. Exactly. Take off, I'm gonna have to take off my top. They want to know, you make it hot. Oh, it's getting hot in here. Exactly. Take off. I'm going to take off my top. They want to know if we have any shit. I'm going to have to take off my my over at my anorak. Now my anorak is itching. That is a shit superpower, isn't it? I mean, yeah, it'd be quite.

I guess that's a thing. It's kind of a ballsy move, too, isn't it? I would just walk into this great big building and you can just on your phone like you're like Penny from Inspector Gadget. Just dragging the thing all the way up. Hang on, brain. I'm going to raise the temperature in the cinema from my phone. That is a cool, that is a cool shit superpower.

I really like it. Yeah. I like it. You know what? You know, I like the way you go. Like Penny from Inspector Gadget. That's a 40 year old cartoon at least. Right. We love these references. I was at the pub with a friend of mine the other week and she was trying to think of there was a new mom in the area.

She said she's really good looking. She's like good looking. You know, she's she's she's not just like average good looking. She's like Claudia Schiffer. Good looking. Right. I was like she's not just like average good looking. She's like Claudia Schiffer good looking. Right. I was like, what a reference. Like Claudia Schiffer. I hadn't thought about Claudia Schiffer in so long.

Yeah. And we do that all the time with like Liz Hurley, Inspector Gadget, Cindy Crawford, Cindy Crawford. Well, Cindy Crawford was fucking banging in the ladies. She was never really my type. I didn't even ever think Claudia Schiffer was good looking, you know? Cori Schiffer, she looked kind of skinny, bony faced. Yeah.

There were some pictures of Siddy Crawford, she looked amazing, but quite frankly she wasn't stacked enough for young flax to get really excited. She wasn't on Baywatch levels, that's all I'm saying. No. They had to have that ass. That thick layer. No, I'm to have that ass. That thick layer. No, I'm talking about hoochers. Oh, right.

Yeah, but we've seen the kind of stuff that you're into. Remember you showed us that. I'm now, I've adapted. I'm everything. I'm just saying. Sorry. Flax's taste in boobies is like is I would say wild. Like he what he likes really huge boobies.

You told us you showed us like a search history or something when we were recording. Lewis remembers as well and all of those were insanely large women with like gargantuan titties. All right. So I challenge any lads in chat here who have a bit of a smutty. This is going to be read. I click on the question. That's the biggest buzz on this you've ever seen. Any questions? Don't give a. Go to your search as you click the click, the fucking magnifying glass on your Instagram right now and scroll and look at what it suggests for you.

Smart. It's true. It's true. My advice is recommended was hilarious. It was like cartoonishly large women. Like they didn't even look like real, real people. But they know you. We've been through this.

The algorithm knows what you like. It somehow knows. I don't know how it knows. I've never given the algorithm any reason to think it. It's the lingering gaze. That's what it is. I don't use Instagram. My recommended, again, is it's all like a sped up DIY, you know, like time lapse of

a loft conversion, time lapse of me surprising my neighbor and tidying up their yard. Like it's all shit like that. And I don't even really watch a lot of shit like that. Chalker installation. Well, it's all you talk about. It's listening to you. Do you know what I mean? It must be. Yeah. It's got to be listening to me on my DIY chats. I am aware it's personalized chat. That's my point. Is that I'm saying if you click on your question, on your search history on Instagram, if it's clean, fair play. But a lot of people wouldn't want to click that button. That's all I'm saying. I'm sure we could continue, but we actually have to stop because...

Can I just tell you quickly that in between all the Disney watching, my daughter also really loves watching clips of Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street. Yes, fantastic! Watch the documentary! Like, it's lashing her head off at them. It's so good. But they are, some of them are really funny. Some of the older clips of Bert and Ernie that we would have probably watched when we were growing up are funny. Like the one when he's eating cookies in bed, he's got all the crumbs in his bed.

And here fishy fishy fishy. She liked that one as well. It's so good. There's a documentary about the making of Sesame Street. It's great. Okay. Yeah. I'll watch. Where can I watch that? It's on P-Flex's documentaries playlist. No, it's not. It's on HBO. It's on HBO. Okay. I can watch that.

I can access that. I'll watch that. I can't remember what it's called. Well, thank you everyone. We'll see you all next time. Thank you so much. See you next time. There was a regular one that went out yesterday. Yeah, so thanks to the guy on Twitter who asked me if we'd stopped doing it. Big fan. Big fan of the podcast.

There's one- Yesterday! There's a mailbag next week, and then we should be back to normal after that. This one's gonna go out though, right? This will be on the feed as well. We'll do one tomorrow too, right guys? Except that, it's not a live one though. We'll do a mailbag tomorrow.

We'll do one tomorrow too, right guys? Except that it's not a live one though. We'll have a visual gag on the podcast feed. We'll do a mailbag. There was only a couple of times when you did the Greg Wallace impression that it would have helped to have the video on this podcast. But can I just see that again? What, the Greg Wallace? The Greg Wallace face. Just, there we go. Thank you.

Just nicked that. Ooh, that's an upgrade. Alright, see you later, everyone. Goodbye. Bye.