Triforce! - Triforce! Mailbag Special #1: The Ol' Texan Dos and Donts

Episode Date: June 29, 2022

Triforce! Mailbag Special #1! We're busting open our bulging mailbags to answer your wonderful emails but first Sips gets asked the question no dad wants and Lewis tells a boring story. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the Triforce podcast. If you're listening to this, it means we're probably on holiday this week. And we're going to go through the big mailbag of stuff you sent us. The big old mailbag, that's right. Postbag, it's the postbag, it's the one and only Triforce bag. Postbag, it's the postbag, it's a load of crap inside this bag. When you read the post bag. You'll have a terrible time. A really bad time.

A really, really bad time. Oh, man. You might as well just read a wiki because most of the stuff coming through here is just regurgitated hash from a wiki anyway, right? Actually, having looked it up, you are incorrect. Well done, genius actually having looked it up you are incorrect well done genius you looked it up we didn't we're off the top of the dome bam we're freestyling here so there are going to be mistakes but that's not what the bulk of the emails are about most of them are about poop uh or toilets or strip clubs that's pretty much the things that people want to talk about the most but i'm going to go through this and find some of the the variety wide variety

of emails as i said if you are listening to this episode actually no no can i just say very quickly please put the word triforce in the subject line of your email otherwise it doesn't get filtered and i miss it i just want to get that in there every time we do this so it becomes a thing go on this isn't a message from any one fan but it's my brother he's messaged me and because he was meeting me today for lunch and he said we'll get in there early-ish for some shopping do you want to go to nando's at one right right so i said don't normally go to nando's but sure i can meet you wherever okay man i feel sorry for your brother immediately like come on the guy's just trying to reach out

yeah but he's trying to find some common ground he knows and so he said yes i know about that but apparently they do have some vegan stuff on the menu according to my wife i just checked their menu uh we're going to do some shopping first so so we'll meet you there at 1. So, I'm definitely now going to Nando's. Fuck yeah, love Nando's. And I guess I'm going to discover what their vegan options are. Who gives a shit? It's delicious. Just get a coffee and just say you're not hungry or something.

I'll just get some chips. Yeah, I'll be fine. I usually get chips. Well, the chips might be cooked in delicious chicken fat. You never know. Yes, yes. Chicken fat chips. Look, I'm not that bad.

I'm just, bad i'm just uh i just tried i just tried to divert him to somewhere i don't normally eat at man but uh i could slum it on this occasion if you really need no no no it's not it's just it's like kfc so it's like the one other place it's like a little bit yes mandos could work but i i know a really nice little place called Eau Claire de la Lune. Maybe you would like to go there instead? I know that you

wanted to meet for lunch, so I've suggested a bistro. We could perhaps have lunch at a bistro. At a pinch, a brasserie will do. Definitely not a restaurant or cafe. It must be a bistro or at a pinch a brasserie he's coming he's coming to my town and he's like we're going to nando's and i was like are you sure

and he's like yes we're going to that's basically what happened there he was like i like nando's my wife likes nando's we're going to go to Nando's and fuck you. That's what happened in that fucking text. Is it a bistro or a brasserie? A bistro or a brasserie? Which one would it be? Sounds like you got outvoted there, two to one. I don't know what the difference between those is, actually. Well, that's why I need a bistro or a brasserie because it keeps Henry, such as yourself, well out of the way.

It's a better clientele inside a bistro or, as I aforementioned, a brasserie at a pinch. It's the kind of people who don't know what the difference is. Don't go, I guess. Yeah, that's right. Stay out of there. That's not a place for you if you can't even tell the difference. It's going to be rammed. It's a Friday lunchtime.

On a bank holiday weekend. Yeah, it's gonna be rammed it's a friday lunch time all of nando's on a bank holiday weekend yeah it's gonna be absolutely packed why don't you go for brunch like uh on a friday oh it's bank holiday right there's no getting around it but i was gonna say like why not go like at 11 o'clock in the morning that seems to be a good time to go well because i'm fucking recording this fucking podcast well Sips. Well, I know that's the reality of the situation right now, but in future, maybe next time he comes down, you could say, fuck your shopping. Let's go eat first. I'll text you guys and say, sorry, can't record the podcast. My brother and his wife want to go to Nando's

and we have to go before it gets too busy. I mean, I'd be fairly understanding and accommodating of that. It's just the mailbag episode. Shall we get to the mailbag? It's been six minutes. That was a mailbag. That was me getting a text

from his brother. That doesn't count. Alright, well, here we go. Here's the fucking email my my mom sent me the message on whatsapp okay let me read it to you until further notice do not contact me on the landline call me on my mobile only until further notice until further notice why hours go by it's just that she's having uh Sky package upgraded and it won't be ready until Friday. Man, who has their Sky?

It's 2022. Why are you upgrading your Sky package? You should be moving away from the Sky package. There's so many alternatives now. You don't need a Sky package. What's the alternative? Just get like FreeSat or something. And then maybe if you really want to just get a subscription service like stream service or whatever what the hell is on sky that's so important that you need to upgrade

your package a lot of stuff on sky dude a lot right like what like paramount comedy central and all that shit yeah all of that all of the like all the things when she comes down she's like you don't have the real crime murder network i'm like sorry mom she's like no you know she's she's all over that kind of stuff right yeah i mean she's on her own she was a lot of telly yeah i suppose but like even like on uh on on free set the you know you get like most of those channels like do you get all of them chris no is the answer well i don't i technically i don't know i'm just um i'm just saying it's a lot cheaper than an upgraded Sky package because you buy the box. I agree.

I think I'm paying for it anyway. Oh, God. Anyway. Your mum sounds a bit like Mark Landis. Is he? He works at a brasserie or is it a bistro? It's a documentary. no he's a man he's a so mark landis is this famous american painter who basically is is quite um i don't know he's he's i think he's like a schizophrenic but but he's on medication and

he's a bit he's a bit of a weird guy right is he um does he anything to do with jim gahooley gahooley the guy i don't know the glass the glass worker oh no no not the guy who makes big dicks out of glass no he's a good lad though i like him he's a great lad yeah he's got an eye patch too i could fill that up my ass uh that was the whole trip every piece of he made up sorry we went to this glass museum. We talked about it before. That was all we said. And so Mark Landis, he basically copied. He was very good at copying pieces of art. A really, really good artist who would find a picture of a piece of art, do a copy of it, and then sort of forge it, basically,

and then donate it to a museum as kind of a troll, but as also a kind of weird way to get his art into museums, right? So he never, it wasn't illegal to do this, you see, and a lot of museums didn't do their due diligence and didn't check it was real and just stuck it up on the wall, you know, and added it to their collection. And this guy is sort of in the early 2000s found out because he'd been offered this piece of art by Landis and he'd Googled it or whatever, and he found that three other museums claimed to have it. And so he sort of slipped up really in that he practiced so much to copy these pieces of art that he ended up just doing lots of them,

and then he gave them to lots of different people. He would sort of take these road trips around the country where he'd book all these meetings with people and give them all this art and so there were thousands of pieces of his art that he gave out and he was sort of this prolific sort of forger slash troll but obviously very kind of um just kind of very innocently doing it and didn't really realize that it was even a problem or that he was even nearly hurting anyone he sort of felt like he was gifting and also i think i think what like once he'd done it once as a gift, he kind of got a bit hooked on it

because everyone was so grateful to him. They took him to a nice dinner. You know, they didn't give him any monetary rewards, but he sort of gained, he just gained charity and sort of friendship of these people that he'd been giving these things to.

And those are the things that count the most in this life. He basically would stay at home watching Crime Channel and old movies, TVC or whatever, the old movies channels on American cable. And he was just a very sort of sad man, really. But yeah, I watched a documentary about it. It's called Art and Craft. And it's just so super interesting. Yeah.

And I just, I know I'm not supposed to like him, but he's just he's a very heroic thing to do really you know fuck over all these these uh bistroian museum owners you know you think they're getting some you know piece of work by Degas for free or whatever from this rich donator Mark Landis um what so why did we why did we start talking about mark landis again because he watches the same tv as your mom i think right oh that was the link i see him i see your mom sat in her living room doing her puzzles in the same way as i see him doing his art you know i say right he's in a he's in a bit of his voice he lived in his mom's house as well that was the

thing holy crap she died he was sort of wasn't really very good at looking after himself, but his mum looked after him pretty well. And when she died, he just sort of carried on in his mum's house with all the stuff in the same place. Right. Sort of got on with it. I think he's still going now. After sort of getting a bit famous with this movie and stuff,

he started doing his own stuff, I think, and sort of changed his ways and stopped... I think people became wise to the game as well, and the internet kind of put a stop to a lot of this. His shenanigans. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, what's the mail?

Go on, give us the mail. Oh, my God. I'm just going to grab a random one. I'm exhausted to do this now. We're only 12 minutes into the mailbag episode. After the Mark Landis story, Jesus. I think the Mark Landis story is almost a contender for the bath plug story, honestly. Oh, you're right.

Yeah. Maybe next time we do a live show, we could do a vote. Who wants the bath plug story? Do you want the bath plug story or do you want the Mark Landis, the story of Mark Landis? Or the Just Chips story. That's another classic. The Just Chips story is classic, though. I mean, that was good.

That was a roller coaster ride, right? Whereas the Mark Landis story was just kind of like a slither. Oh, Sips. I'm educating you. I'm trying to keep you, you know. You said before we started that you think everything is a scam. You think every email that comes into your inbox is a scam. And so you don't read it.

It's actually just a front for being very lazy. Because now I can turn around and say, yeah, no, I didn't respond to you because I thought it was a scam. But really, I should have just responded. That's why I think I got it in my head. Because kind of everything feels like a scam. There's so many people out there chancing it stuff oh and what's the what's i mean even like adverts are a scam right like they all just trick you into buying something you don't want and they give you this false sense of like that it's gonna make you happy or you know you'll be on a beach

with a hot woman you know if you fucking fly with you ryanair or whatever man do you mean yeah i know what you mean listen to this okay i i completely uh need to tell you guys this as a matter of urgency yesterday it was a bank holiday it was thursday okay i took my son to a birthday party at noon on a thursday yeah during during a half term week on a bank holiday I was pretty frustrated by the whole thing but anyway I took him uh I took him to this party he had a good time and everything um it finished at two which is standard fare for a kid's party yeah about two hours or whatever he had some lunch I stood around talked to other dads and stuff it was all right so we're driving home and uh we were talking about the baby um and uh my son was like you're a great dad and i was like thank you very much and uh he's like do you like being a dad what does he want what do you what do you want yeah well i mean i i knew there was some angling but it turns out there wasn't really much

angling so he's like you're do you like being a dad? And I was like, of course I like being a dad. You know, like it has its moments. But like, you know, I love all three of you and I like being your dad. Like, of course I love being a dad. And he's like, oh, that's good. I was like, one day you might be a dad as well, you know, and then you'll know how it goes sort of thing. He's like, oh, I never want to be a dad. And I said, well, you're 10 you know you might

change your mind or whatever like just just see how it goes and he's like um what i would have to meet somebody and then we would have to have a baby and i was like well yeah that's typically how it works yeah and he's like who knows the future though does it have to be does it have to be a girl and i said well you can have a baby if you if you marry a man and you can have a baby but you know the the someone else has to make it for you basically yeah that's it i said that you know a baby can be made uh many different ways um but you know like if you want to if you want to have a baby that comes out of your wife's tummy or whatever, you know, like you'd have to marry a girl or, you know, whatever. And so like just kind of like vaguely explain this to him.

And otherwise, but you still need like some involvement from a man to make a baby, right? Because like you have male reproductive organs? Because you have male reproductive organs, and then you have female reproductive organs, and then somehow, somewhere, those two need to mix. There's got to be a meat in the mines somewhere. Yes. Right. So he goes, so-

It's like a cake. So this- You know, you need- You're going to need eggs. You're going to need butter. You're going to need to get it together. So I'm trying to explain this stuff really vaguely, and the whole time time i'm like have they not taught you this in school yet and he's like no no no they haven't taught this in school okay so so this leads into the to the million

dollar question how is how is a baby made and i was like well how do you think a baby is made because like i always throw it back you know like if i don't want to answer it i throw it back so i was like how do you think a baby's made that's such a sips way of dealing with it he kind of like i looked in the i looked in the rearview mirror because he was sitting in the back you were like if you were like a university teacher and you were like so today we're gonna teach chemistry 101 uh we're gonna we're gonna talk about ketones. How do you think? How do you think chemistry works? I mean, it's a pretty good shout. Anyway, I look in the rearview mirror because he's sitting in the back and I see this smirk on his face. And I say, how do you think a baby's made?

And he smiles. He goes, 69? I was like, all right. He's like, no, you can't make a baby that way. Like, categorically, no. I was like, do you even know what that means? And he's like no you can't make a baby that way like categorically no i was like do you even know what that means he's like yes i was like come on like i said who told you that at school and he's like no he didn't say names he's just like um you know my friends like everybody laughs about it all the time and i said i get it you know like i still laugh at that stuff now i'm like almost 42 years old but uh but no you can't make a baby doing that it was just like that still laugh at that stuff now i'm like almost 42 years old but uh but no you

can't make a baby doing that it was just like that was the end of the conversation fuck me man he's 10 years old like why is he making 69 jokes for like i know my kids are the same it's fucking hilarious surprised he he doesn't know where babies come from yet like they definitely taught the kids at our school he does though that's the thing he does yeah he's just he's just oh he's just fucking around yeah yeah good lad yeah i think it's it's it's difficult isn't it to know what to do yeah i think when you're a kid it was exactly like this when we were kids though right like we didn't we had ideas and we had people who told us things yeah and it's like you know you have to pee in a girl's mouth when i was at school aid the aids epidemic was just getting going there was a lot of confusion about aids there was about

how you could get that and they were you can get it from a toilet seat stuff like that oh it's all over the playground like nobody kissing everything yeah because kids are just sponges right and they like you guys have said all the time, they just suck up everything around them. They're very bad sponges. If you think about a sponge, think about a sponge, Lewis. If there's a big spill, you get a sponge,

you soak it in whatever is there, and when you pick up the sponge, quite a bit of it is going to fall out, right? So if you imagine they soak up information, but a lot of crucial detail leaks out, and then it's uncontextualized nonsense that they reassemble into a fact inside their tiny brain so aids can be caught from toilet seats can be extrapolated into skill is an african bum disease which was a thing that we were told in

school because there was a thing where people say mate that is so skill and people say did you know skill is an african bum disease now i don't know what an african bum disease is i don't know if skill is such a thing but that's certainly that's stuck with you you're still not sure i'm still not sure if skill is an african disease yeah now i i don't know if that's true so listen i flax, you might be aware of this or maybe not, but I'm at this party and I think a lot of them are football fans, right? Because, well, like the cake was like a Manchester United cake, right? These are like seven-year-old kids, right?

And they were chanting some football chants. I think they're like kids football chants. I don't know if these ones make it to like the big stadiums or whatever. But some of them were really basic so it was like liverpool sucks like they would and they were screaming it like all together at the same time liverpool sucks and there was like other groups like it was this big like activity park thing outside and other groups of kids that were doing other stuff would come over and they they'd be like, man, you suck! They were getting in a big fight about it.

But then there was one where it was like, the chant was like, Liverpool, go back to school and learn how to kick the bull. It kind of rhymed because of their accents, but that was the whole chant. I don't know if they used that one. That seems very gentle compared to some of the stuff I've heard.

Liverpool, go back to school and learn how to kick the bull. That's what they were chanting a lot as well. That seemed to be the popular one. I mean, there are a lot of, you should teach your son the In Your Northern Slums football chant, which was very popular on the South Coast

whenever a team from up north was playing. Would you like a rendition of In Your Northern Slums? And I apologise in advance to anyone from the north. I did not join in with this song. This was just a song that you would hear on the terraces at Bournemouth, and I'm sure you heard it at Brighton and Southampton, and it goes like this. In your northern slums, in your northern slums in your northern slums you look in the dustbin for something to eat you find a dead

rat and you think it's a treat in your northern slums and then there's a second stanza which is in your northern slums in your northern slums This is unbelievable It's something about fingering your grandmother Come on I can't remember the second You shit on the carpet, you piss in the bath You think of your grandma, you think it's a laugh That's right, in your northern slums

And so on As long as he's still in Liverpool Or rubbish or whatever That's fine That's a tame one, yeah. That's a tame one. I mean, there have been some really unpleasant ones. That's unpleasant. That is unpleasant. A lot of homophobic ones

and a lot of racist ones you'd hear, although definitely not so much these days. But lower league grounds are still a hive of scum and villainy. I think people think that Premier League fans are the worst, but they have a lot of stewards and a lot of people in there filming it and getting people booted out and all the rest of it.

They've got a PR team to manage this stuff, so they get rid of all those kind of people. You go to lower leagues, you still hear a lot of racist chants. Wow. Yeah. Man, oh, man. What a scene. What a game.

But, yeah, I know. It was funny. Let's get back to the mailbag. Get back. We've never been in. It's been nearly 25 minutes of podcast. I'm scared of opening that mailbag. You never know what's going it's been nearly 25 minutes of podcast i'm scared of opening that mailbag you never know i'm vetting it i'm very carefully vetting these all right

okay this is from one yeah this is from taylor or tyler t-a-y-l-a i don't know either way um taylor yeah they say uh that about mosh pits right so lewis said he compared the Capitol riots to mosh pits in a previous episode. Apparently you did this. Bear in mind, we don't remember or even really know what we're saying half the time. So a throwaway comment results in 10 emails. So, you know, it's quite funny.

Yes, okay. So you basically thought it was a bunch of crazy people beating the shit out of each other in a weirdly socially accepted way. It was. It was. Right. I still stand by that.

My boyfriend has been a metal fan since his early teens, who's been to many shows and will participate in the pit. I actually had told him about the comments and he was disappointed as this community is often looked down upon by others and wishes people took the time to understand what it's all about. So the whole point is no one's actually trying to hurt anybody. If anybody does get punched, the other person will stop and make sure they're okay. I'm not saying that there aren't outliers to this, but if you're found to be purposely hurting others, you are quickly removed from the pit by other fans slash security. And the artists that play these shows are also the first people to stop the act

and check with the crowd if someone's been injured, if they're passed been injured make sure if they're passed out make sure they're taken care of before continuing i witnessed this myself at a show i went to this past fall just so you're aware the mosh pit is quite intense but it's a chance to let loose and let all the bullshit of life go people do get pretty intense and amped up for it but it's more of a feeling of being free and being yourself so i thought that was interesting uh our vision of mosh pits was it was a bunch of people trying to kill each other. Apparently that's incorrect.

No, that's not my vision. That wasn't my vision. My vision was almost like that. Yeah, like a camaraderie of people who are willing to... You know there's a lot of people who want to get in a fight, right? Like at a pub. There's a couple of people i know who are friends of mine or friends of like friends of mine i think what i think what taylor is trying to say

though is that it's not about wanting to fight it's about a couple of people turning up and just wanting to horse around big time you know oh yeah they want to just you know like when you were a kid and you had just so much energy you didn't know what to do with? And then if your parents took you to a jungle gym, you would just go fucking crazy. You would run in there and you'd be climbing like crazy and throwing yourself around and stuff. I think it's more like that. It is. I've been in a mosh pit and I certainly have been in my fair share of mosh when i was a teenager you know my friends were into that kind of music at the time and i sustained several injuries to

help from elbows and knees and right and stuff and i didn't enjoy it particularly and i don't think it was as at least the gigs that i went to it wasn't like um as super that's sure no one got crushed or like knocked knocked down that bad but it was certainly um we weren't all my best mates in there they were strangers you know man and i think that in a sense the capital riots i felt like it was a little bit like that it was a shared fury and anger of people getting amped up and wanting to be physical and wanting to be like angry and and and with other like-minded people but still strangers i think there's elements of that like i i know i know for sure that um i was just talking because i watched

this documentary i think if that mosh guy watches the the documentary it's like five hours three hours at the capital yeah it's called i watched you have a look because like it's weirdly familiar just i don't know why it reminded me of mosh pits but it did all right um and maybe you might see there are definitely some people that want to fight in a in a mosh pit but i think mostly those people are ejected maybe maybe that maybe it's changed as well in the last because i haven't been in a mosh pit for 20 years so maybe it has changed now because i know like it's like everyone's like brofisty and they all hug afterwards i don't know but i know like in the like in the 80s like during like uh that that

sort of like the punk scene like the diy sort of punk scene you had a lot of like very angry crowd goers who would try to fight in mosh pits and stuff but um like um like taylor taylor said even even back then they would be quickly removed right like you you see footage all the time of like you know like black flag or whatever saying like fuck you get out of here and like to like people that are like agitating other people in a in a mosh pit or whatever like it's i think it's like an age-old thing at this point agreed agreed i definitely found it this this one is going back this one is is going back. This is from Andrew, who says, we were talking about a trip up Snowdon, and I think we all agreed that it would be too knackering to do it.

So apparently, you can take a steam train all the way from the base to the summit, and then there's a cafe up there that sells booze. So if we did want to do it, we could just take the train, yeah. Holy crap. You know what we should do? Maybe when my kids are a bit older like we should do we we should do triforce on the road and go to like some of these places but not don't go to like really interesting places go to like sort of like i mean i guess i guess the top

of snowden is pretty interesting but you know we got to find like really fucking low-key dumb places to go to it'd be really funny but travel very far to get to them as well you know like like the windermere village hall or something yeah like if we didn't live anywhere near just chips it would be funny to go to just chips like in another city or something like that there's a branch of oldie in the outer hebrides yeah there you can visit the old hooters find the hooters exactly like the last standing hooters somewhere find a remote hooters. Or a Hooters, exactly. Find like the last standing Hooters somewhere. Find a remote Hooters. Perhaps one at the top of Snowdon. Yes.

And we'll go there. Yeah. That's a great idea. We should do an American road trip. Oh, that would be something. I mean, I've thought about doing that for years, doing the old American road trip. I'd love that. But you've got to pick the right route because you want to see good stuff.

You don't want to just see fields for like a week. Yeah, but if you're PCasting the whole time like we would like we would be who cares right you think you get a signal out there in the middle of fucking nowhere it doesn't matter what we'll do we'll just we'll do it offline and then when we get back you know we'll have all that footage we don't need uh you don't we don't need the uh this is literally days days of through flat, featureless terrain with nothing but fields and cows. We could do a podcast at the Ball of Twine. Yes. That gigantic teapot in, where is it?

There's that big teapot. Like Charleston or somewhere. Charleston, Virginia or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had an email from Jake. We were talking about names. I had an email from Jake. We were talking about names.

And in his friend group, born around the early 2000s, they have a Craig, an Alan, and a Brian, which is genuinely of interest to me because you just wouldn't hear any of those names. They are old names. They are old names. And his dad's name is Colin, but with a Y instead of an I. I don't know why he felt the need to point that out, but that is weird.

That is odd. That's an odd spelling of Colin. It might be like an Irish spelling or something. Maybe that's Welsh or something. Colin? Colin? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It definitely sounds... Yeah, you know. Welsh. Yeah, Welsh. Here's a message. This is from Michael.

A doctor Michael, sorry. Spelled with a Y or with an I? Just a regular Michael. This is about CERN and the Large Hadron Collider. Oh. Because we were talking about this. This is genuinely interesting. We've talked about this?

He works there. Yeah, yeah, we talked about it. So there's a place at CERN called the SPS damper, which makes corrections to the beam when it wiggles off course. Right. So first a machine reads the position of the beam. Then the next turn around the circle, they predict where the beam will be

and use an electric field to correct it and put it back on course. To do this, the signal between the measurement and the correction needs to be faster than the beam to make the correction in time, which is fine for the LHC and the smaller accelerators leading up to it. But for the FCC,

which is the future circular collider, so it's going to be... The Large Hadron Collider is 27 kilometer circumference. The FCC is going to be 100 kilometer circumference. Jesus. The ring is too big, and that too much can go wrong between the measurement and the correction. So the solution was to have multiple corrections around the ring, which talk to each other

via lasers above the ground. And they tested it and it didn't work. Can can you guess why it didn't work absolutely not i mean we'd be here for an eternity kilometer yeah circuit around basically i'm looking at on the map it surrounds the whole city of geneva yeah it's huge inside it yeah it's huge and a whole bunch of lakes and stuff yeah it's absolutely insane This thing is 100 kilometers long. I mean, the LHC is insane. 27 kilometers long, yeah. I mean, the LHC is like,

but it's liquid nitrogen cooled the whole way down. It's absolutely astounding. It's mental. So the reason that these corrections didn't work is because pigeons kept flying in the way and disrupting the laser signals. I love the idea that you've built a 100 kilometer long

tunnel, potentially, or in this case 27 kilometers long, got all the biggest brains in the world on there, but they, what, it's just open to the air? I thought it was a fucking tunnel. There's pigeons in there knocking about? Come on, lads. Maybe they forgot to close one of the hatches or something, you know? And now there's pigeons in there. The pigeons just

got in. Now they're just, you know... This is crazy. Now they're... Here's another one. They've fricked and now there's pigeons everywhere. A guy that he works with once got called into work in the dead of night because something had gone wrong in one of the rooms where there's loads of wiring and connections where they read the signals from the accelerator.

They couldn't figure out what was going wrong until somebody instructed the team to go around the room and jump up and down in unison while somebody read the signals. And if you jumped in a certain part of the room, the connection was loose. And they dug through all of these circuit boards and everything and found this one tiny loose connection. It's just nice to me to know that despite all this high science, sometimes... Sometimes it is just a loose wire or like... It is literally a loose wire or a pigeon.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a fucking pigeon, mate. Pretty crazy. wire. It is literally a loose wire or a pigeon. Yeah. It's always a fucking pigeon, mate. Pretty crazy. Yeah. Science is... These experiments are really cool. There's this big dark matter experiment being built.

I watched a very fascinating video the other day underneath Melbourne in Australia. It's in a gold mine like a mile underground. And it has to be deep, that deep, because otherwise muons, which are these high energy cosmic rays because they're constantly bombarding us all the time but if you're a mile underground that's that's enough to um protect stop most of them and so they can they're looking for this

dark matter which is very they think it's very weakly weakly interacting particles and so so there was this detector in italy that sort of thinks it might have detected them but it and so it has a peak in like you know in february or whatever and a low in november but it's very seasonal and they wonder whether it could be correlated to anything you know like snow or heat or anything else right so they need to kind of they need to kind of know that and so that's why they're building it on the other side of the world, in the other hemisphere. So if it has the opposite pattern... Then they know it's something to do with the sun, maybe.

Then they know they're detecting something that could be dark. It's interesting, but with a lot of this stuff, I just think, I'm glad somebody else gives a shit about this, because, man, that ain't me. You don't care about this the future of science and you have no interest in it i do care about the future of science um but i like getting there

like and the the long tedious road that it takes to get there not so much no oh yeah that the boring like the actual experiments and doing all this shit seems dull as ditch water but just give me the conclusion just read me the conclusion. Just read me the final page. I don't need to know the story of how we got here. I don't know how. But it is interesting. It's good that somebody else is interested in it because it'll push it forward or whatever.

But like, I can't imagine ever being that guy who wakes up in the morning. I'm like eating my toast and I'm like, God, I'm so frustrated about this dark matter that I can't figure it out it does it happen in november or february or i'm racking my brains here you know what i mean like maybe i'm just like too simple or something i don't know well i i think a lot of science is done and it doesn't look like it's a like it's useful on the surface right like a lot of a lot even ever since like back in the day you know like um i watched this video about prince rupert's drop which is this um these these when you basically

get molten glass you drop it into water wait did you watch that smarter every day video yeah yeah it went a bit viral he gets a little too excited about things that like that was not i don't know i like i believe it though i like him he's great I'm just saying He feels genuine When he went on board A nuclear submarine That was fantastic Oh that would be cool But he went on one That came up

In the North Pole Wow Breaks through the ice You get in Then they go under the ice again And come up somewhere else And it's all about Man I would be

Shitting myself In a submarine Oh for real dude That is not My idea of a good time Like I think they're cool there's some incredible stuff. I think they are incredible, but I would not want to go on one person.

Dude, the scariest part, I think I spoke about it previously, was that obviously under the pressure of the water, the submarine actually shrinks, and they have a piece of string, a literal piece of string that runs the length of the ship, and as you go deeper, the string gets slacker and slacker. Holy crap. Because the ship is actually shrinking and all the compartments of equipment have gaps and the sort of squeezy bits in them.

So that as the ship compresses, the equipment gets smushed together. If you didn't have those gaps, then they just fucking crunch as the ship compresses. Jesus. It's incredible. Yeah, that's nuts. The engineering design of these things.

You know, I watched, there's the Adam ruins everything guy did a thing with government on Netflix the other day President Obama

ex sorry former Fopotus Obama was in it as like an executive producer and he flew into a fucking

the eye of a hurricane to like because that's how the weather is like done there's this whole meteorological yes

like we're going to fly into the eye of a hurricane you might want it how the weather is like done there's this whole meteorological yes like we're going to uh fly who actually into the uh i have a hurricane you might wonder why we're gonna do that i don't think he was there uh it was there's all this good stuff and it's yeah but a lot of science like even back in the day like this prince rupert's drop thing was was this guy um boyle who obviously did a lot of important stuff boyle's law isaac newton's time yeah and i'm sure a lot of these developments were crucially important to developing all of the technologies things that we could take for granted today but certainly at the time i think him fucking around with a few springs and

doing them underwater or whatever or pendulums didn't feel like it was anything and i feel the same way about a lot of these experiments like the high high energy physics ones and dark matter detection you know it doesn't seem like there's an obvious application but i think that it's good to do this i think it's called pure science um in the same in the same way that it will eventually lead to um cool science yeah yeah cool breakthroughs that will change. I agree how we operate. Here's a change of pace for you Lewis This is someone having a go at you, but don't worry because there's a follow-up email that that admonishes you All right, is it by the same person as that? Is it the follow-up email? Big fan by the way

No I guess this is why I was dreading these emails because i do see reddit posts and comments on the podcast and they're like lewis is a fucking clueless fool right he won't take a position he's always the he always either argues with sips or period or just says yes and it's like like i'm i know i'm a i'm a i i know a, but I don't want to hear it. You're a flake. I don't want you to tell me. Listen, you're allowed to talk. You're a hack. Like, whatever you want,

because this is three lads having a conversation. This isn't some fucking scientific document that we're submitting, and they're marking it. This isn't the trifles party manifesto. Yeah, this isn't some paper we're submitting for review. How stupid ideas are not actually gonna affect the world in any way shape or form well i mean i bet everyone in their daily life

says some wrong things i bet all of you out there listening to this right now are wrong on the daily just like the rest of us so don't come up get off your fucking ios leave lewis alone no i'm willing to take your no you've opened it up pfFlex I want to take their take their criticism and take it on board hello Perion this is from Jordan my name is Jordan and I have a minuscule penis I've listened to the

entirety of the Triforce podcast I have a few episodes can you say it in a nicer in a nicer way as if he's a fan I have a few episodes on repeat

to make me laugh so far I've held my tongue and not reached out however the latest episode in which Lewiswis has a rant about van gogh and his art has drove me mad here we fucking go well he might be an expert in art but he doesn't know any english no i might have read that lewis misread that lewis genuinely believes although he did spell tongue wrong so there, there you go. Lewis genuinely believes that anywhere near half

the population of the country has any idea who Goff is. He means Van Gogh. Surely he has somewhat of a more realistic grasp of the time we live in. Half the kids of this era can't Google him because they've no idea how to spell his name. If Starbucks rebounded his art, it would be like when Kanye and Paul McCartney collaborated. The youth all

applauded Kanye for setting off Paul's career. They would respond the same to Starbucks and Goff. Anyway, rant over huge fan. Have a nice day. That's not a rant. So he's suggesting that people don't know who Van Gogh is. He's the most famous, isn't he? I mean, he's the most famous artist. Yeah, but how many TikToks does he have?

Exactly. Well, I've got a follow-up for you. This redeems you, Lewis, in my opinion, and in, I hope, Jordan's opinion. This is from Luke. Hi, Perion. He's Dutch.

I really enjoyed episode 220 of the Triforce podcast. Listening whilst working from home for the Van Gogh Museum. He works for the Van Gogh Museum. Oh, fuck! First off, if you ever find yourself in Amsterdam, I'd happily arrange a tour for you in our museum. Just let me know in advance. We'll get something set up. Now, regarding your discussion on the fame of Van Gogh,

should you care, these are the numbers from my perspective and research done by the museum. In a number of countries polled across the globe, 93% of people recognised the name Van Gogh, and 85 percent of respondents recognized at least one painting notably the sunflowers where okay where was this poll taken at the museum a number of countries around the world right okay okay but was it taken at the museum from people that happen to be from a number of countries from around the world no i

don't think so because i think it's an important point to make, though. If you've sought out that museum in the first place, right, you're going to be, like, above average in knowledge on that subject. I don't believe they've done that. I think that this is polling done outside the museum. Because it would be obvious to anyone. Like, if you're in a Starbucks and you ask people coming in, have you ever heard of Starbucks?

They'd be like yes There you go 100% of people know Starbucks Like obviously Yeah but that's the kind of shit That happens all the time though That's what I'm saying Alright well Luke

Please clarify I'm just saying I watch a lot of Pointless Right If people said Name a famous artist on Pointless And then they all Doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly

Dong It would go to like 90 percent yeah i agree like if you said that would be not a pointless answer everyone knows van gogh yeah thank off up it's so easy to say van gogh would be the pointless answer jim jim gahooley jim gilhoolie's glass glass Famous artist to craft dong shapes with glass. Go. Here's another flex from Luke here in this email. Our museum welcomed around 2 million visitors annually before COVID.

Most of them tourists from outside the Netherlands. Comparatively, the Rijksmuseum, located next door to our museum, which holds many famous paintings by Dutch masters, has a much smaller share of visitors that are international tourists. So he's just flexing on the Rijksmuseum there. His name's not even Jim. It's Dale. Dale Chihuly.

Not Jim Gilhuly. Whatever we were fucking saying. It took me like 10 minutes to Google this. I've been Googling it and I was like, is it Chihuly Gilhuly? What's his actual name? Dale Chihuly. Jim Gilhuly.

Dale? I believe it's Jim Gilhuly. That's a name that's gone as well, right? You never bump into a Dale anymore. It shows you our fucking memory. Dale Chihuly. We went to his fucking museum. You went to his museum?

I know, we spent a lot of time there. You lads went to the Jim Gilhuly museum? No, Dale Chihuly. You mean Jim Gilhuly. I think you've misspoken. It's Jim Gilhuly. Flax was in Seattle kind of recently, right? You could have gone.

Years ago, mate. I can't remember where it is, actually. It's right next to the space it's right next to the space needle very popular thank you it's good i liked it we like we had a nice day yeah it was great yeah yeah which is definitely podcasted from there's what we should have done yeah we should have actually holy crap that would have been a well we could do it again yeah this is uh an email from cory uh we talked about um the villagers uh and he says that he lives near the villagers in Florida.

Oh, the villagers in Florida, the retirement area. He said it has a very bad reputation. Apparently, from what I've been told by younger people that live in the area, all the old people there are massive swingers and have wild swinger parties, and they apparently even wear different colors to show what level of swinger they are. Corey doesn't know what that means. He's never personally been been but he'll do a drive by there soon and give a trip report back thank you cory god bless you cory big ups uh to

cory on this episode for his service he's going to do some investigations for us into the he's like our own louis theroux he's gonna go and he's gonna get involved he's gonna he's gonna embed himself into this community and figure out what makes them tick I can't wait there's a there's a there's a loofah code or something something to do with so some people always say my mom always said to me that if you ever see that pampas grass growing out someone's side someone's house that means they're a swinger that's what she told me all right uh right. Because that was her friend. Carol had told her that. They were like, you go around Bournemouth and there'll be people. You know that?

It's like the really long stems that are fluffy at the top. That's another name, by the way, that you never hear anymore. Carol. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you don't hear a Carol very often. Yeah. Rest in peace, Carol. My mum's best mate.

I found it. I found the loofah code. What is a loofah code? I think you use a little loofah, a little rose-looking sponge thing that you wash with a bath and you wear a colour of loofah based on your preference. So white is

novices and beginners. Purple is voyeurs. Pink is soft swap. People like to do it with others in the room. That feels like everything. Blue is full swap. Yellow is mid swap. I don't know what that means.

What are the differences on these swaps? I need more information than this. I think it's to do with where on your body the fluid you want to swap is located. Are you just swapping spit or are you swapping the rest of it? What is the tier for wanting poop on your chest?

That's the brown loop. That's the brown loop, obviously. Good to know. A lot of people telling me, by the way, because I said if you're riding a bicycle, wear a helmet. I would say if you're swinging, wear a rubber johnny. So wear a helmet in every situation. Helmet on your old fella.

Get a helmet on your head as well. A lot of people saying, oh, I don't need to wear a helmet because I trust myself on my bicycle. I think that's stupid. Wear one. Apparently in the Netherlands, they never wear helmets. Yeah, I think that's because they're so safe. I'm not saying that wearing a helmet will save your life if a car clobbers you. I get it.

And if you have really safe cycles paths and all the rest of it you might think i don't need to wear when nobody ever falls off we've got all this safety safety safety i'm just saying you're in an elevated position on a bicycle there's a chance something goes wrong why not wear one i wear one when i'm cycling in the park i agree why take a chance i agree why take a chance there's no value to not wearing one i don't know why we're telling these people where our audience are smart enough or uh they could do with knocking down a bit you know yeah they're too smart that's what i'm saying agree knock a few brain cells out your head by by falling off your skateboard yeah you'll be happier that's all i'm saying hey that's that just reminded me i just want to share with you

uh apparently there's a new beavis and butthead movie coming out okay apparently after the movie's been out a new series is being aired as well oh wow it's it is definitely um i mean this has been a long time there's a lot of rebooting going on there always is but it seems to be it's starting to get a bit weird you know some butthead like i feel like could be good but i don't know it's i feel like beavis and butthead is very much of its time as well right like i don't know if but i don't know it's i feel like beavis and butthead is very much of its time as well right like i don't know if it i don't know if it'd be as funny like i've gone back and watched old beavis and butthead and laughed because it was funny and i was around when it was coming out and i remember being funny and stuff but i don't know like i don't know my son likes beavis and butthead like when i told him that there's gonna be movie, he's like, I want to go see that.

He likes the idea of it. So I don't know. Maybe it's... Well, his name's Butthead. I don't think it's really for kids, though. Not really, no. It's not really. But yeah, there.

I just thought I'd share. Yeah. It's going to be so weird. Because the show was weird. It was weird, yeah. It was weird. I mean, it was weird i mean then again it lasted a long time they did it they did a season in 2011 actually it turns out oh did they yeah there was like a rebooted season and this is bob's burgers movie as well which is which i keep

being advertised to me constantly so it's not a scam uh just it's just but i like bob's burgers i don't know there's like i think there's just better things than beavis and but they've done uh they've redone fresh prince which is like all serious now um what yeah grassy junior high needs to be rebooted uh saved by the bell if it's not already been rebooted full house was rebooted right didn't screech from saved by the bell do a porno i don't think i'm wrong he did and he died as well he's yeah he did also die yeah but yeah he did do a porno yeah he had um he was he had some some some big um issues in his life issues yeah oh my god talking of issues the other

day all right so i watched thelma and louise right all right so thelma and louise was tremendous i hadn't seen it in 30 years probably I hadn't seen it in a very long time and it's a really good movie very very ahead of its time and really beautifully shot

and really really good very young Brad Pitt in it I think it's one of his first roles and Michael Madsen is in it as well and I'm watching it

with Mrs. F and she said that Michael Madsen is no good he's a piece of shit it's a shame he's a piece of shit I said why do you think

Michael Madsen is a piece of shit she goes oh he shame he's a piece of shit. I said, why do you think Michael Madsen's a piece of shit? She goes, oh, he's like, he did all this drugs and his like domestic abuse and everything. I was like, you're not thinking of Michael Madsen. I don't think he's done that. Looked him up. He was the guy who cut the ear off in Reservoir Dogs. That's right, yeah.

Yeah, he was in Quentin Tarantino's stuff as well. Yeah, he's in a whole bunch of movies. And he was in the- He was in Kill Bill. He was the guy in the trailer. Kill Bill, yeah. Yeah, he's in a whole bunch of movies. And he was in the... He was in Kill Bill. He was the guy in the trailer. Kill Bill, yes. By a snake and all that. So Michael Madsen has not had a messed up personal life

that I can find a way to beat it. No, I think he was actually a very nice man. Very nice guy. He's done a lot of stuff for charity. He seems like a very... He does play bad, evil characters to me. He does, yeah. But he's a...

I have nothing against Michael Madsen. I was surprised. She was confusing him with Tom Sizemore. I was going to say, yeah. I was confusing him with Tom Sizemore. I was going to say, yeah. I was going to mention Tom Sizemore, but I wanted to see where this was going. But yeah, Tom Sizemore is like the ultimate supporting actor, right?

But it turns out he's also the biggest piece of shit ever as well. Yeah. So Tom Sizemore, who always played the reliable guy. Like, he was the sergeant in Saving Private Ryan. He was like Mr. Dependable. He's a piece of shit. Okay, so this is interesting. He went out with Heidi Fleiss, the Hollywood madam, Heidi Fleiss,

was his girlfriend. He was convicted of domestic violence against Heidi Fleiss. He was sentenced to seven months in jail and four months in drug treatment for repeatedly failing drug tests while on probation. He was caught attempting to fake the urine test using a Wizenator. Now, I didn't know what a Wizenator is, but it's basically a way of stashing someone else's pee in a way that you can then...

It's like a false penis and a heater pack and everything. It's like... Oh, my God. that you can then it's like a false penis and a heater pack and everything it's like oh my god i'm ready to do my urine sample right now would you like me to start whips it out i mean yeah so he used the whizzenator which is just hilarious um i'm not going to go into the sexual abuse allegations because they're not funny they are those are of course yeah but uh he was he's basically been caught for drugs constantly while on probation he gets arrested outside of sheraton hotel in california with methamphetamine he goes on dr phil in 2018 um he did the porno as well did he not he did yeah in early 2014 a recording emerged of Sizemore alleging that his former girlfriend, friend of the Triforce podcast Elizabeth Hurley, had an affair with Bill Clinton in 1998.

That's what he claims. Right. He then says, no, it was false. I was high at the time. He's then on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, which is a show that aired in America where they get celebrity rehab. He was on this. Drew Pinsky said that Sizemore

sat in his office for two hours sweating, completely high on drugs, talking a million miles an hour, acting like he was going to do the show, then deciding he didn't want to. Then he did appear on the show's third season, arriving as a special guest, because Heidi Fleiss was appear on the show's third season, arriving as a special guest because Heidi Fleiss was also on the show, his ex-girlfriend. Both she and Sizemore had

to consent to appear together and they basically turned up and had this big fucking clash at the end. She taunted Sizemore that the thought of being with him would turn women gay. So then he's obviously angry, still on drugs. Pleads no count contest in 2017 to two charges of domestic abuse against his girlfriend. He got 36 months of probation, 30 days of community service. He was also subject to two protective orders.

And then the deal was made to avoid spending 210 days in jail. This is then unbelievable. In 2013, he claimed he began to achieve sobriety after a stern interrogation from robert de niro who personally checked him into rehab but in 2019 he's arrested again imagine that possession of illegal imagine that's that conversation with robert de niro pointing his finger at you and like fucking telling you to get off the get off the coke but dude if you look at his personality now though i

guess do you mean it's just tragic it's tragic but if you look at his filmography he's in all of these big movies like just all these big movies and then all of a sudden why are they still casting him he feels like a fucking liability i don't know if they are go to 2011 he makes 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 10 movies in 2011. In 2013, he makes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 movies. 2014, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 movies. 2015, he makes 8 movies. 2016, 2017, he makes like 15 movies. 2018, he makes 10 movies.

These are all straight to fucking the bin garbage movies like one called I am not for sale the fight to end human trafficking he plays a doctor he's in a film called monster hunters as colonel mayweather he's in a film called

clean c-l-e-a-n a croatian horror thriller and he plays mr wilkinskins, the manager. So he's just doing anything. His agent is a fucking legend, by the way. If you're looking for work in Hollywood, find out who his agent is, because he is clearly a scumbag. His life is just playing out like it's extras.

And yet somehow gets him so many roles. It's tragic. Fuck me, man. Crazy. Well, good for him, I suppose, or not. No, bad for him. Bad for him. Anyway, thelma and louise great it's like a buddy cop isn't it oh sorry buddy crime yeah they basically she like a road

trip right yeah i think it's thelma or louise like that was the one problem i had was remembering which of them was thelma and which was louise I think Thelma is... I think Susan Sarandon is Louise. Sure. And I think Thelma is the other one. I was going to say Gwen Stefani, but it's clearly not Gwen Stefani. What's her... Gina Davis.

Gina Davis, fuck me. Who looks gorgeous in this movie, by the way. She's like six foot tall. She was married to Jeff Goldblum, quite famously. Yes. And they cut through Ireland, which was a disaster. And that was pretty much the end of her career, unfortunately, because she's a good actor. So, yeah, it's a good movie.

Next email. This is a very long one from Luke. I'm not going to read anything like as much of this, Luke. But he has listed some dead phrases because his dad uses these dead phrases. And I thought these were quite good. Slicker than owl shit, which he says when it's really icy outside. Slicker than owl shit. Yeah. Tighter than a icy outside slicker than owl shit yeah tighter than a frog's ass which is used to refer to a tight squeeze but could also be refused to someone

who's cheap could be i feel like you could put that as anyone you could say you can have any animals other than a wasp's ass is good tighter than a gnats chuff i imagine that a squirrel's ass would be pretty tight as well like a little squirrel i just like the use gnat's chuff I'd imagine that a squirrel's ass Would be pretty tight as well Like a little squirrel I just like the use of the word chuff In tighter than a gnat's chuff I think that's good If it has tits, tires or wires

It's bound to cause you trouble Because they obviously are sexist And both work with machines a lot Tits, tires or wires That's literally Half the planet and every piece of machinery so yeah um i don't know whether to shit or wind my watch which i guess is a phrase like if you're to shit or wind my watch yeah that's a weird one does that mean uh what does

that mean i don't know when would you use that well apparently this is the brackets i have nothing to do is the closed brackets. That is the explanation given for the application of this phrase. Like I'm bored. If you just standing around and saying, Jesus, I don't know whether to shit or wind my watch like that. He's lost for motivation as to what to do, I suppose. Okay. Okay. And then this is a pretty common one. Balls said the queen. If I i had two i'd be the king uh used constantly in exasperation apparently so yeah these are the really interesting dead phrases yeah dead phrases that his dad uses a lot of them are dead for a reason right yeah they're terrible phrases

and all these are stinkers they're rubbish yeah they are rubbish stinkers they they need so much deciphering yeah and some of them are so long winded like the balls one that's no good as a daily that's awful in fact I do also have a book that my friend Sarah sent me which is a list of text and phrases which I think you guys might like

for example like a one legged man at a butt kicking contest a person who's not very coordinated or successful that does cut it up straight into your mind so specific holy crap i like i like the ones that paint such a beautiful picture yeah i mean here's a good one you don't want someone from texas to say that you're as ugly as homemade soap very specific yeah homemade so yeah it's like it's like seeing those brown those brown cubes in lush or whatever they have um yeah of that like i know exactly what

it looks like yeah i love it you don't want to text them to say that you're all hat and no cattle which is a person who's all talk and no substance yeah my god he's all hat no cap you do want them to say why you're as quick as a hiccup which means you're you're very bright as quick as a hiccup that's cute that's cute you could say that to a little kid couldn't you could well you but you wouldn't want them to say you're as ugly as a mud fence no i suppose you wouldn't really yeah but you would like them to say you're as handy as hip pockets on a hog. Hip pockets on a hog. That's a very...

That's a weird one. I quite like it. Is it wearing a little tool belt? It's just handy on a pig. You've got little pockets. I suppose, yeah. You definitely don't want to text them to say that you're older than two trees.

Not just one tree, two trees. Well, that you're older than two trees. Not just one tree, two trees. Well, that's even older than just one. He's older than two trees. Trees can be really old. Older than two trees. You do want a Texan to say, you're as happy as a gopher in soft dirt. Which I quite like. Well, we all know how much gophers like

soft dirt. They love soft dirt. That's so well known. It goes without saying of course of course jeez texans seem this whole book seem crazy to me yeah i've never been to texas before but um it's a great it's a great state it really is but it sounds like a lot of fun vast yeah i mean every everybody really is very texan this is i mean if you go to dallas and everything they're a bit different you know the big city is a bit different but if you go out

into actual the bulk of the country which is just fucking Texas, it's just massive ranches and huge roads it really is as Texas as you expect it to be, everybody really does talk like that, how you doing howdy partner, you know they all literally wear

cowboy hats and they all literally wear cowboy hats and they all have their shirts tucked into their jeans and yeah cowboy boots like they really do go for that whole texan thing and they're they're great fun they really are i mean they're obviously they're from from my perspective we wouldn't agree on much but i bet hell i'd like to have a beer with you partner and maybe shoot some pool that would be fine oh man well so here we go wait wait wait you don't want a texan to say you don't know whether to scratch your watch or wind your butt that might be the origin of that phrase i don't know whether to shit or wind my watch they say i don't know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt because that's like it's like uh

yeah that's actually clever and that this guy uh, yeah, that's actually clever. And this guy's dad, the reason that's a dead phrase is because it's fucking wrong, son. It's like, let's get this one in there. It's a, it's a,

it's like a play on words on an old classic, you know, they just jumbled it around a bit to make it more clever. Yeah, that is what happens over time though. Like these people forget and they get things wrong and they just, everything gets slightly corrupted and changed and less funny or weird as a result and people don't care when they're old too they just fucking say whatever they want you know it's happening more and more

with us indeed we just we just don't care fuck it um holy crap these are great great mail i just want to give a very very quick shout out there are quite a few of them that i'm not going to read because they followed a similar theme. Well, we can always get them next time, right? We can get them next time. Thank you to everyone who agreed with me that Gillingham is a dump. I got a lot of emails in support of that.

Some Portsmouthians saying, yes, we all know Gillingham's a dump, but come on, Portsmouth is great. No, you are also a dump. I'm going to chuck Portsmouth in there. I'm sorry. I do not accept your allyship in this. Fuck I'm going to chuck Portsmouth in there. I'm sorry. I do not accept your allyship in this. Fuck Gillingham

and fuck Portsmouth both. And don't get me started on Southampton. Well, we won't. We have time. Thank goodness. Don't mention it. Jesus. Well, we'll see you next week, everyone. We'll be back then with more of these podcasts. Thanks for joining us.

Peace. Bye. be back then with more of these podcasts thanks for joining us peace