Triforce! - Triforce! Mailbag Special #12 - No Cobwebs, No Calluses

Episode Date: April 26, 2023

Triforce Mailbag Special 12! Lewis slips in the shower.. how long until someone finds his body? Sips analyses the confusing case of the Golden Shower and Pyrion fights a hedgehog. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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available as a mild hybrid inline six turbo or as a plug-in hybrid, crafted to move every part of you. Hello, chums. Welcome to another fabulous mailbag episode where we get to read out all the hate and quite a lot of love from you all that listen to this podcast. This week's topics vary wildly. Right. And we'll topics vary wildly. Right. And we'll get right down to it. We're back on Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and what's the other one? Zoo. Non-charitable donations to zoo.

So we did have quite a few Wisconsin emails, quite a few Pennsylvania emails, and no references to the zoo. But I have culled all references to those from this week's emails because we need to move on. I feel we need to move on. We've had quite a lot of Wisconsin and also the Wisconsin emails. God bless them.

They're getting longer and longer and longer and more and more tedious. Pictures attached. Statistics. We should make them into a book and sell it. Yes. Why visit Wisconsin and just have all these emails stapled in there?

Because honestly, it's kind of ridiculous. Would you like me to just start at... and sell it yes why visit wisconsin and just have all these emails stapled in there because honestly yeah it's kind of ridiculous um would you like me to just start at uh we've got one from february the 9th and then we'll work our way up to current day should we do that oh my god okay sure yeah uh here's one uh this is from al uh hi period simpson lewis i've just listened to the most recent mailbag number 10 so this was in february where the second person talked about getting into a car accident while listening to triforce and this has brought back a memory from a few years ago I was listening to Triforce on the way into work witnessed a quite bad car accident occur right in front of me I stayed on the scene and when the trooper got there I told him I had

dash cam footage of the accident while I played it back for the trooper who was very bold I realized with horror that in the background of this terrible accident sips and lewis are quite clearly talking about and making fun of bold people and making fun of for being bold the trooper didn't say anything but there is no way he didn't also hear period talking about how people see boldness as a failing and lewis commenting on how there isn't a bold acceptance movement. Oh man. Fair play to that trooper for keeping it together. Fair play to that trooper, yeah. And shout out to that bold brother out there riding the roads and keeping people safe.

Well, you don't know how many bold brothers are out there because anyone wearing a hat, they might be a secret oldie underneath there. You know, trust me. So if you see a guy in a hat, give him a wink, Pflats. Yeah, I will. I know what's going in a hat, give him a wink, P-Flat. Yeah, I will. I know what's going on under there, brother. A knowing wink. I'll just tip my bald pate towards him.

You often wear your bloody hat. That's because it's cold, dude. That's the thing. I think people think bald people are trying to cover up. Believe me, it's normally just much colder. And the top of your head has no insulation at all so you're like a bear it's like a loft just open to the elements so you've got to stick a hat on there sometimes because it does i guess if you get wrinklier it becomes more like a radiator as well you know your top of your head doesn't get wrinkly it can it can though

right no if you look at dave bautista right dave bautista has a wrinkled head because he has a there's a condition that he's got that makes the top of his head wrinkly but if you look at Dave Bautista, right? Dave Bautista has a wrinkled head because there's a condition that he's got that makes the top of his head wrinkly. But if you look at most old men, I mean, Patrick Stewart, the top of Patrick Stewart's head isn't wrinkled. Oh my God. And he's incredibly old. It doesn't wrinkle. It's not that kind of skin.

I don't know why. How incredibly old are we talking here? It can't be that old. Oh, he's in his 80s, dude. Are you serious? I'm almost certain. Patrick Stewart is... He is...

82. Oh, my God. Yeah. I'd be watching Star Trek Picard. I think it's pretty okay. No one's loving it, but it gives you a bit of a... It's just nice to see how Jean-Luc Picard does. It is.

He is very old in it, though. He is. He is. But yeah, so if you look at a picture of him, like a very recent picture, you'll see that nice to see old john luke picard do his stuff he is he is very old in it though he is he is but yeah so if you look at a picture of him like a very recent picture you'll see that he i mean first of all he's not that wrinkly because obviously he's an actor so he's looking after himself and everything but there are like some tiny creases and things but not comparable to the rest of an old person's face you would associate with being very wrinkly right his is not that bad so this is from call from Callum. I'm Callum.

I'm a civil engineer in Cambridgeshire, and I listen to you guys prattle on when I'm working from home to combat the boredom. Oh, thanks, Callum. Within my job is something called a civil parking enforcement scheme, which has hundreds of complaints about double yellow lines having rubbed off,

signs at the wrong places, et cetera. Each of these needs a separate PDF, and I've come to hate Adobe Acrobat with a passion. My question is, is there any other programs you guys have had to use over the years that you now cannot stand? Oh, wow. What's the Microsoft search engine one? It used to be an expert.

Bing. I can't stomach using that program at all. Have you had to use it? No, but it always wants me to use it though that's true it does keep saying it keeps saying why don't you make me your default and uh and in my mind i'm always saying i would never make you my default exactly you're not even my side angry that yeah i'm so angry that you even tried to launch what made you launch in the first place but there's no way i'm making you my default do you know what I hate is, you know, on Windows 10, there's a little arrow that lets you show

all the minimized applications. They're sort of you, when you close them, they minimize to the taskbar, but they don't actually minimize as like a little pop-up thing at the bottom. They're just programs that are resident. In the bottom right, there's a tiny up arrow. You click that, it shows you, for me, it's got steam and a couple of other things there and google drive and stuff like that sometimes you go to click on that and this little circle barges into the way and you click it and it shows you like local news and and like the weather and shit like that it's some kind of location based thing if you have to trick me into clicking a button that your program can fuck off stop yeah i i don't like it don't i hate me into clicking a button that your program can fuck off stop it yeah i i don't like it don't

into into opening it i never the only reason i ever open it is by mistake so stop it i i yeah i had um a button on my phone my old phone that that was like a the samsung button or whatever right bring up the samsung page or whatever but but it would have the most oh just just crap news articles like tabloidy news articles and like useless information adverts and like there's a lot of that right too like with um i hate launchers for games every fucking game has some sort of launcher ubisoft is one of the worst ones as well trying to get your games like i hate anything where you you're logged in on steam and then you have to log in to the fucking some launcher to get into the game now once you're in the game you have to log into some sort of another account holy

fucking shit how many layers and each one has got like adverts for them other games in them yeah and like so it's a nightmare honestly like for me like i obviously use everything right steam and there's things about steam i hate there's things about Steam I hate. There's things about Epic Games, which I hate. There's things about Spotify that really get on my nerves. Just like how it never properly... It's just a complete... It looks like Spotify hasn't changed, or Steam in some cases, in the last seven or eight years.

And it's still got these incredibly irritating lack of features or like poorly functioning features yeah i mean steam is great generally right it's a whole mess of fact you know it's got so many things you can do in it right it's got the marketplace and the fucking workshop yeah discussions and everything yeah there's forums in there it's this it's incredibly i mean it's i'm amazed it's all hung together but it does feel like this patchwork thing that's been slowly it feels like a lot of legacy shit tucked in there um for sure and i always wonder with programs like this how much time are they like just just patching problems and trying to make everything work together and how much are they just saying

fuck all that just keep coming up with new ideas so So it's like that balance, isn't it? Like when a game's a couple of years old, they keep working on new features rather than fixing their old problems. Dota's still got a ridiculous number of bugs and weird interactions tucked in there, but they're still working on the new patch, new heroes and stuff.

So yeah, I think everything, the more you use it, the more you realize it's failings, but because's true of everything i guess you know it all kind of evens out but there are certain things that are worse bing that little circle and launches those are our three for you yeah i love love i love discord i love google drive um i use google docs and google spreadsheets all the sheets all the time love Love them. Can't, I'm just, I think I spend more time in Google Sheets than anything else. Any other program. Thousands of hours of me like looking, like making, putting stuff in little boxes. Just pouring over spreadsheets, playing EVE Online and other games that require you to

I play them in my head though. I play these games in my head now. I've been sort of trying to, last year me and ben tried to make like a miniatures game um and we're still working on it but it's it's we tried it we we played it a couple times we didn't think it was all that much fun and so we need to re sort of do it jeremy and i think that's that's a bit demoralizing when something is not as you expect it it's a similar thing with art as well like you have a picture in your mind and actually i've been using a lot of this AI art generation, like Midjourney lately, which is on Discord, by the way.

I can show you. You'll be amazed how it works. The thing is, it won't create things in your mind, but it will create amazing things. So you'll put in something like a really specific prompt, like Mars Explorer robot with three wheels and red and blue colouring, right? And you'll have a picture in your mind of what you're looking for. And it will create something really cool, but not what you imagined. Right.

Never what you imagined. This is like my favourite point in AI, when it's not quite right, but it has a go. Like, I find that quite interesting. Have you seen these AI-generated conversations between, I think it's Joe Rogan and Ben Shapiro. They're all over twitter and they generate these conversations and it's like it's got the voices and it's got them and it's it's just bizarre and it's it's if it was developing actual real sounding conversations it wouldn't be as interesting the fact it's slightly scuffed is what makes it funny so i

think it's this is the best thing right a lot of people are listening to these podcasts like our podcast in the background they don't really care it's just noise to them it's like song lyrics it's like when you sing no one really listens to the lyrics some people do but but most people just have it on and it flows over you and it's a rhythm or it lulls you to sleep it they're not really saying anything intelligent in a lot of these podcasts not and either are we. Not like us. Well, speak for yourselves. We've got enough of our podcasts now that we could just AI generate this thing. Maybe this one is.

We should try that. That would be amazing. Just see what it comes up with. Yeah. If there was a way to do that, we should fully do that. I think we could give it the podcast. I don't know if it can transcribe accurately enough because there's no like text version of these but it's only a matter of time oh yeah we could say generate podcasts here are the old ones give us a new one we should definitely

do that if that's you're starting to get to a point where you're not sure whether it's just a bad podcast or it's it's ai generated right i wonder how many emails ai pflax would generate uh because i got quite a few this week. I think it's sometimes hard to tell, especially if you don't know or have the context. Like on TikTok, I've seen a few of these where it is like that Joe Rogan stuff talking. And I was like, is this a clip from the podcast or is this something someone's written and they're using the voice synthesizer? Or is it something AI generated that's being used by the voice synthesizer or is it something ai generated that's being used by the voice synthesizer right and so it's and i think you what you can even do though is have a little bit of tailor-made little bit of each right a little bit of tweaking here and there to bring it up to

you know foolable quality right and i think people fall for the dumbest shit anyway right like anyway sorry to just go off topic where were we what were we what were we going to talk about kieran and his uh his visit to Hooters. Okay, so let's get back on. Two of my friends are at Liverpool Uni and I went up for the weekend. We thought it would be funny to grab some food from the infamous Hooters to see if it lived up to the weird and creepy hype

we'd heard about it. Yes, it did. Nice. There were multiple groups of around 40 to 50 year old men. Yeah. Offence taken. Yeah. That seemed to be taking the restaurant very seriously. Well, of course they are. Naturally.

And we would frequently overhear things like, look at the tits on her being said. Yeah. But what surprised us the most were the amount of lads with their girlfriends slash wives. That is interesting. Yeah. And the actual service was very Americanized to the point where the

waitresses were one decibel away from shouting at us. Yes. All in all, very pervy atmospherevy atmosphere average food but as far as sports bars go they were showing almost every sport imaginable on one of their 60 tvs thank you kieran it was uh acceptably creepy yeah interesting do they have male waiters with like pouches and stuff no i mean it's only fair though just consider that well you say that but i think there's a big difference between uh men and women and obviously some fellas i'm talking about heterosexual typical men not not everybody um if you have a place that has women hardly wearing anything i think blokes are comfortable there and women tolerate it whereas

if you went to a restaurant where it was all blokes walking around with just banana slings and uh all their you know their muscles, blokes would immediately feel uncomfortable and leave. Because we're more fragile than women, I guess, in some ways. Well, do you remember when they had those shirtless guys outside Abercrombie & Fitch? No! Were you down there first in line on that particular occasion? Did that make... No, it was a very common thing, right? Like back in 15 years ago.

I do not remember it. I do not remember it. Yeah, they had like topless greeters kind of thing. Wow. In this country? I don't know if there were, maybe in the flagship stores, but it was definitely an American thing. Anyway, did that stop guys going in? No idea.

Having the hunks? If anyone knows, let us know. Go ahead and email in. You've got experience of that. Or if you were one of these people. You'd think a clothes shop would want to show off clothes as well, right? Yeah, showing off topless people is like, you don't need clothes to look good. That's the message I'm getting from this greeter.

It doesn't really make sense. Maybe it's if you don't look as good as me naked, you need to buy a shirt to cover up your fat, ugly body. You're not allowed to say that. Yeah. You your fat ugly body you're not allowed to say that yeah you said two two words that you're not allowed to say anymore yeah we're gonna have to we're gonna have to re-edit this podcast to replace it with uh enormous and unkind and uh bloated ungenerous yeah you're not allowed to say those things uh this is from uh from well they call themselves dave yognor but uh i i i know that's not their name um i didn't know the origin of all that by the way i was someone on on my discord is called

dave yognor and i was like what what is this and they explained to me it was uh someone emailed into the the yog pod one of the very early episodes of the yog pod so there's a lot of yog's law that i'm completely unaware of well yeah it's an old well basically it comes from a time when everyone had to name their community right yeah they had to be called something the oh the dog squad or like like dumb dumb shit like everyone had everyone had to identify shout out to the dog squad oh yeah exactly and everyone had their own like i don't know like everyone's self-identifying and naming their community and we we were joking about it but also i think we wanted we were coming up with ideas and so anyway so it's an old reference and that's what i think

me and simon decided was the um what was what people had to call themselves dave yognor right gotcha gotcha right so but we don't have a thing for triforce which when we don't we absolutely do yeah tiny penis havers so do you want to hear a double a double email from this slide this is a double email that references things that happened before okay is it like okay i don't like those movies where this is a double header this is like the old a movie and the b movie in the a movie anyway um so uh i'm a salesman for medical alerts those little things where you push a button and oh yes yeah um so medical alerts yeah so you know the i've fallen and i can't get up kind of thing

so if you're elderly or you're disabled in some way and you have a fall, if you can't... So here we go. It's a really rewarding line of work. I hear stories all the time of people who fell and were on the ground for hours, crawling bit by bit to their cell phone, or were on the floor for days until someone came to check on them. That's not the rewarding part. He's saying that what's rewarding is giving people these medical alert things, because

you can wear it around your neck like a sort of necklace. And if you have a fall, it's right there. You just push a button and it alerts the authorities that an elderly or a vulnerable person's had a fall and you should rush and help. So some statistics. This is because I think he's saying that your mum had a fall, Lewis. Yeah, Lewis's mum did have a fall. Oh, yeah, you're right. Well, she fell over.

She didn't have a fall. She slipped and fell you're right. Well, she fell over. She didn't have a fall. She slipped and fell on her ass when we were walking down Park Street. But my mum's very fit and a yoga teacher, and it wasn't like she was stuck there or anything. Right. Everybody's just walking around her on the pavement. Like I said at the time, it wasn't like a concern. You know, it wasn't like she's now got a knee. She's now in a wheelchair.

She's got to have a knee replacement. No, she had a fall, but maybe not like a first alert so obviously the falls my mom had a fall where she fell on a path right picking up my youngest from play group and she gave herself a massive black eye and everything holy it was very bad but different kind of fall we're talking about elderly people that live alone falling over and and not being able to get up no yeah and there's nobody around to within earshot to help them yeah so here are some facts uh about uh falling after falling one time your chance of falling again doubles um which is i'm not sure why but apparently does people who

receive help within one hour have about 80 to 90 percent chance 80 to 90 percent chance of making a full recovery after only 30 minutes of being on the ground your blood vesicles can start to become compressed and you can get numb limbs holy crap 70 of all falls in the home happen in the shower slash bathroom that's why you should have walk-in showers for the elderly i don't i mean i know that you get those old people baths where there's a little door that opens up so you can get in and then you drain the water open the door and get out i'm just saying just get a shower walk-in shower with a chair that's what we got from my mom falling is the leading cause of fatal and non-fatal injuries among older adults is this gonna get worse as well what falling falling well because we all have like online friends now rather

than like people we live with and like if i if i've slipped in the shower and like got knocked unconscious i think no one would find me for like three or four days dude like no one texted me at the weekends i texted you this weekend so you saw i messaged you a video explaining that meat is actually not that bad for the environment that's true but i didn't reply no you didn't which is why i called the ambulance i said my friend lewis he always responds immediately to my messages he must have had a nasty fall. I don't, though. I don't. I'm a bad replier. I worry about, like, I think that when they find me,

I'll be dead for like a week or something. No one would have known. You're young and vivacious. You don't need to worry about these kind of things yet, I'd say. You might be like that woman who was dead for ten years in her flat and nobody realized. Remember, she didn't really have like that many friends or it was just like this weird

sequence of events where basically she probably died of some sort of heart condition sitting there watching TV and nobody noticed for 10 years. I would imagine I died on like, let's say, a Thursday morning after Triforce, right? Yeah. I just, I got up late, I did the podcast, I had a shower, I slipped out, banged my head, bled out, I died in the shower, right? Now, Friday, I don't do anything. So no one would know.

Saturday, again, I don't do anything. I've not got nothing on the Saturday. No one would know. Sunday, nothing, no. Monday, I've obviously usually do arm travels, the stream, but that's on hiatus now. So again, people would think, oh, Lewis has taken the day off. So again, no one will contact me. No one would know. Tuesday, I'd miss the morning recording, right? And people would be like, oh, Lewis must have overstepped or he's not here. Why isn't he here? Like, don't worry about it. We'll just do it

without him. Wednesday, same thing. And maybe at that point, someone will be like, hmm, okay, Lewis hasn't checked in what's going on but again they probably just think oh maybe he's on holiday or something thursday triforce would happen you guys would turn up and if i don't turn up to triforce within like five or ten minutes late you guys just think oh maybe maybe maybe he maybe can't do it today maybe he told us that he was gonna miss it and we forgot right so you'll go away then friday will happen again monday saturday will happen again. Sunday will happen again. Monday will happen again.

Tuesday will happen again. And then I think Ben. You're saying like two weeks maybe. I think it's going to be two weeks before someone worries about me. If you want, I will text you every hour on the phone. And if you don't respond, I'll call the ambulance. Okay? So we can set that up.

Just set an alert on your phone. And if you don't push the button, it alerts every ambulance immediately in the Bristol area. And they'll all Zoom to your house. I think maybe I need to do more, like get more. If I miss more bookings, that is more likely for me to be found sooner. You're young. Relative to the kind of people this guy's talking about. I don't think people are going to raise the alarm because you miss an appointment or even

several. So I think the thing is, as people get older, you naturally think, oh, they might have had a fall or they might be sick. If I called my mum and she didn't answer, I'd assume she was out. If I called her a couple more times and she didn't answer, especially throughout the day, then I would think something was up. I'd call my sister and I'd say, have you heard from mum? And then I'd maybe talk to her neighbours.

But I would start to worry relatively quickly because she's in her 70s. And she's on her own. And she's on her own. But if you didn't answer, I just think that's just Lewis. He often doesn't answer his phone. I routinely don't answer my phone. People don't just assume I've died. So I think we're not yet at that age. Well, no, but you were in a house with four people. Yeah, but they don't answer my phone people don't just assume I've died so I think we're not yet at that age

but you were in a house with four people yeah but they don't care Lewis they'd let me die up here I'm obviously in a bit of a weird scenario being you know single on my own kind of but at the same time I think a lot of people are like a lot of people self-employed a lot of people do their work for themselves

or like but maybe they always have maybe it's no different to anything else. I mean, I guess in the past, if you lived in a wooden lodge, you'd built yourself out in the wilds. People must have just been found dead all the fucking time. You know, you have a heart attack and bang, and then they just find this lodge with the hogs running crazy out the front, and that's the end of it. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

No. All right. Free house. easy out the front and uh you know that's the end of it so i wouldn't worry about it too much no all right free house yeah you live in uh in the wild west though and there and uh bounty hunter comes to your house your lodge in the middle of nowhere and shoots you they wouldn't find your body for years right if ever yeah in some cases because it's just like skellington yeah they would just and and then they would have to try to investigate what went on they would never find figure it out right well if they if they if they if you if they turn up to bounty hunt you and you were already dead do you reckon they would they would think fuck did this guy already get bounty hunted as someone

or you know can i still claim the reward or did he die of natural causes i think sherlock holmes it right i think if you were a bounty hunter and you found the lad dead, you'd like rush back. Cut off his head, put it in a bag, and zoom back and be like, got him. Here's the head to prove it. And they'd be like, yep, fair enough. And they'd say, we wanted him alive. And you'd say, well, beggars can't be choosers. That's what I think.

So this is the second, the follow-up email is, believe it or not, it was another this lad also got in a car accident in 2017 while listening to Triforce. And there are photos of his car and the front end is all smushed up man but he's a man now when he said medical alerts i thought medic alert which is a little bracelet yeah yeah that's what i think it is um yeah no well i think they're different medic alert is a specific thing in the UK, I think. It's like a little bit of jewellery that you wear that shows your medical stuff.

Oh, that says if you're diabetic or whatever. Yeah. So that, like, if you do pass out, they'll know not to give you certain things or whatever, right? Yeah. So I used to have one because I'm allergic to all sorts of things. So my parents were very protective of me and they got me one of these things. I think it was one of these things they got me for Christmas or something. But they're not very cool.

No. Do you know what I mean? Not very festive either. It's not very cool to have this. It's not really a cool piece of jewelry to have. I think they've tried to theme it up. They've got different things like little dog taggy versions and other stuff um and belts and things like this but i feel like um i feel like i never as a i never as a kid wanted to wear it right anywhere and i never

and i've never really worn jewelry like anyway i'm not really a big jewelry guy do you guys wear any jewelry do you guys wear i do yeah i wear i wear a fair bit of jewelry right like what's uh like necklaces earrings i have Like necklaces, earrings? I have two necklaces and two rings. Right, okay. I have one ring. Just... The wedding ring. It's my wedding ring, yeah.

I got a... I love gold. I really do love gold. I know it sounds weird. I love gold! I do. I do love gold. It's just... I love it. I love it. It's a weird thing. What a hot take. I know, but I really do love it.

The look of it. Is this a hint to Mrs. Flax as well, by the way, or the listeners? If you want to send us anything, you know, don't send us, like, you know, picture frames. Send Flax a gold chain. He wants a gold chain. That's what I got for Christmas. That was my Christmas present. Do you know what I love?

Gold. I do. I do. It's just magic. It's like magic to me. I'm simple like that i just love it yeah because that's that's the thing right where a content creator mentions one time that they like jaffa cakes or something and then everyone sends some shit for forever i mean this is a way

to never get sent anything i love i love 10 pound diamonds i love diamonds um but i just love it the look of it the fact it never tarnishes because it's like this magical fucking metal. The look, I go to museum, you see that gold there. It's just, it's something about it just calls to me. I, if I would basically, if I was some ancient ruler, I would assemble gold. That was it. Just give me gold. Well, I think, I don't think you're alone in that.

I think a lot of ancient rulers did the same thing. They amassed lots of gold, and some of them wanted to take it with them as well. They housed their gold. I've got news for you. You still can. I have investments in gold right now. We know about this. We know all about it.

Every time we have to hear about the silver and gold. Gold coins. Just give them to me. I love gold. You just throw them in a box. I look at it every day. It's lovely. I love having gold.

I don't know if this is personal, and I won't be too specific, but your gold is elsewhere, right? It's not on hand. You have to travel somewhere. I think you said it was in Singapore, didn't you? I was trying not to be specific. Well, there's a was in Singapore, didn't you? I was trying not to be specific. Well, there's a company in Singapore called Bullion Star.

Where you can buy gold and silver. What happens if you want to move that gold? It's your gold. Like, wouldn't you feel like shit you're sitting on the plane and you've just got your gold with you? Well, but these brokers, they have a vault. You can buy and sell it at the current market

price. So, you could- So, instead of moving it, you would sell it and then maybe just buy more somewhere else. It's not a good idea to keep it in your own house, I guess. Yeah. And tell people. Do you know what I mean? I can quite happily tell people I own gold and silver, but there's none in my house.

What if you just baked it into the walls or something, though? You know, like you put it into like a wall cavity or something. They made a sheet of gold and then hid it in a wall cavity. Much like a lot of investments is, it's not very liquid, right? If you wanted to buy shares of the company- It can be, though. If your gold goes liquid, yeah. But also, you're in big trouble if your investment in gold has gone liquid.

Yeah, that's true. Right out the dreams, Mr. Ridley. We're sorry. Well, it's about- Flinking everywhere. Back in the day, if you wanted to buy shares to a company, they would give you share certificates. You'd have to put them in your safe at home, right? You have to take them back to a broker to sell them again.

That's not very helpful nowadays. They buy shares digitally, and you get it all done through a broker, right? So you sign up to a website website and you buy shares through there and you know no one questions that like it's the same thing with gold uh these days you just buy through other places and it they store it for you and insure it and you know and it's it's not it's very it's very kind of safe or at least as safe as you could imagine like someone's it's also quite hard to steal do like a robbery. It's very heavy.

It's got to rob a gold vault. Like, good luck. I've got a follow-up email here. This is a different email, but believe it or not, it segues beautifully from this conversation. Do you want me to read it? I'm excited. I love a beautiful segue. You're going to figure out how partway through.

Just remember we're talking about gold and golden things yeah so here here is the the subject line for the email stop me if you don't want me to read this one okay farting during threesome oh good lord i'm game okay uh hope all is well with you i was listening to a triforce episode recently in which you discussed threesomes yeah i don't remember this but sure and it reminded me of a highly embarrassing story you might enjoy please don't use my real name. I do not wish to have this shameful event attached to me publicly. I will not read your name this time.

No problem, Fred. Like the other guy. I apologize. Okay. Several years ago, I was invited round to another man's house in Reading, a shithole, and on the way over, he messaged me asking if his flatmate could join in. I'd never participated in group sex before, so agreed, so I could at least say I tried it. These are going to be three fellas.

Sure, right. So it's like a gay threesome. Yeah, sure. When I arrived at the flat, I could see that they only had one bedroom. Clearly they were a couple, but decided to make up a fake story that they were flatmates instead.

Whatever. We got on with the task at hand. When, after a while, the flatmate asked if I could go to the shower with just him. I obliged and the other man stayed in the bedroom. We got into the shower, he turned on the the water then got on his knees and abruptly said please piss on my face at least he said please i guess yeah this this is not something i'd ever done before this is some fucking elaborate ass sex by the way i know like uh i know every time

i've ever had sex in my life it's just been like very sort of like in a bed, pretty quick. You're done. There's never been any sort of discussion about it or any like somebody on their knees saying piss on me or anything like that. We're very dull in that way. I'm pretty basic in that sense. So they go on.

This is not something I'd ever done before or since as i do not see the appeal of pissing on someone in any situation however in the moment i thought why not what have i got to lose oh unfortunately i had relieved myself earlier before i came so my bladder was completely empty i tried my best to produce the piss he wanted but could not instead during my straining i let out an enormous fart this promptly killed the mood to make matters worse i then know but you know what if he likes piss he might like farts as well so you might have actually made his day apparently he didn't uh to make matters worse i then nervously giggled stepped backwards slipped in the water and landed

cartoon style on my back in the shower i do not think i've ever been so embarrassed in my life hang on a sec i got questions here so you're in the shower with another dude you guys are probably both got boners how are you pissing in someone's face with a full boner i'm guessing he didn't because he's just you know he's just in a shower with a bloke i mean he doesn't i mean they might have just had sex because he's come from the bedroom so i don't think he's just walking around with a stonker on all the time it's like ebbs and flows yeah i feel like they they haven't had sex yet at this point though because i don't know i think they have no listen listen maybe maybe i'm unique in this but i don't think i am after i've done the deed i'm done like i'm not uh i'm not entertaining

anything other than probably just laying there and sleeping for a bit or maybe eating but you know what i mean like if i if i if if i've done the the the job no no no let's do the detective work if i've done the job there's no way i'm still randy enough to entertain pissing in someone's face or anything like that like i'm done you don't need to be but even then like like the mood is is is is done at like after you you've had sex right i see what you mean i'm not like there's no japanese proverb there's a japanese word that describes horny as hell and i haven't had sex yet i might you know be pissing on someone's face or something theoretically i never have done before you know

what i mean because you're just like holy shit like i'm horny i'm horny i'll do anything i can't wait to have sex it's called kenja taimu which means a man's post-orgasm state where they become extremely calmed down, lose motivation to do anything, and are free from sexual desires. Like right after? There's no way I'm pissing in someone's face. But you're always told after sex to go and pee in order to clean out the pipes, especially women should do it, right? Yes.

to clean out the pipes especially women should be sure right yes and so as a result maybe you are you know you're you've just had sex you go into the bathroom you're they're expecting you that to be the perfect chance for you to pee right yeah but even then i'm just like leave me alone i guess in some ways like you know everybody's everybody's uh post-sex uh feelings differ some people are ready to go again in like 10 minutes. Oh my God. I need some time to reload. 10 minutes after. Not much is happening down there 10 minutes later.

This lad's having a threesome with strangers. He just went to their house to just have a threesome. So this lad's operating on a different level entirely. He is on a different operation. I'm still in the bed with the sheets covering my genitals, smoking a different level entirely. He is on a different operation. I'm still in the bed with the sheets covering my genitals smoking a cigarette and sweaty. Like, there's no way I'm in a shower with

someone right after or pissing on them or entertaining any sort of randy behaviour. That's all I'm saying. You know what I mean? I question the timeline. I think you have Kenchatimu. It says, you may feel you've reached enlightenment. You may have consciously shut out any sex-related information. No, it is like that, though. I don't know if it's like that for you guys, but for me, it definitely is. There's a lead up, and then once you're done, you're done. Well, for me, anyway, I'm just done.

Kenja means wise man or sage and time means time. So it's like wise man time. Was it? There's a, I think it was maybe not Seinfeld, but there was a show where there was this notion that like, if you didn't jack off, the longer you didn't jack off for your mind would be like, I don't know. More distracted. It sounds like only Sonny kind of thing.

Yeah, I think it might have been, though. So, like, in the show, I remember the gag being, they didn't jack off for a very long time, and they became, like, a genius through it sort of thing, right? They were making, they just had this clairvoyance or something about it because they hadn't jacked off for so long. And then they finally succumbed to it and jacked off and went back to just being a

fucking dumbass like immediately i did read an article this guy's saying you should stop doing it because it drains your energy and all the rest of what jacking off stuff off yeah just you should never do it basically i don't know about never doing it the opposite right it's no but it it's like someone someone else says you have to do it once at least once a week or so i think there's a healthy balance for everyone criticizing something like oh you shouldn't drink coffee because it gives you cancer the other people are like oh you have to drink coffee at least once a week because it gives you energy it's like there's there's extremes though there's like on the one side there's there's people who just never do it

and whatever if that's what they want to do it's fine but then there are there are issues in society now with the access to like pornography and stuff like that and porn addictions that where people are just jacking off like 20 times a day which is like terry cruz which is also probably not healthy if you're doing that and you enjoy cruz's jacket on 20 he had a porn addiction fucking power to you if if you think that that's good for you and you're enjoying it, whatever. But there's always a healthy medium with all this stuff. There's a healthy medium with the amount of time you play video games, with the types of food that you eat, your diet. There's always a middle ground, a healthy middle ground, right? Where you have some sort of self-restraint and you're not overdoing it or whatever.

Like, life is just like that, right? I don't know. If you're jacking off 20 times a day, it's probably just too much. If you're never jacking off, maybe that's also too much. You know what I mean? Just jack off like a couple of times a week or whatever when you feel like it. Some weeks you might not want to at all and that's fine. And some weeks you might, you know, double up on a day or whatever.

That's fine too. But 20 times a day is too much. And never is probably too much as well. You know what I mean? You have to. Yeah, if your dick looks red raw, you need to hold back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you find yourself smarter than usual as well and you haven't jacked off for a long time. And if it's got cobwebs on it,

you need to get it out. You don't want cobwebs? I suppose in summary, no cobwebs, no calluses. That's what we're looking for. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. All right. This is from Corey.

I'm sure you've seen the poll chart going around of which animals American and British men and women think they could fight to the death. Oh, no. Oh, yeah, yeah. I have not seen this. No, we did this on the podcast. We have. So this lad is writing in and saying that a friend of his thought he could easily beat a female deer in a fight to the death.

You could never. How the hell are you killing a deer? Do you have weaponry? No, unarmed. Okay, there's no fucking way. Female deer. They would not only would they buck you if you even got close to them because you're not experienced enough to handle them. They're fast as fuck.

They'd be out of there. There would be no fight. Yeah, but they're fighting. So the implication is not that they're going to scoot sked them, they're fast as fuck. They'd be out of there. There would be no fight. They're fighting. So the implication is not that they're going to scoot skedaddle. They are going to fight. This is so stupid when people come up with this shit. It's such a waste of fucking time. Who cares?

So, let's move on. Oh no, go ahead. So, Odears are famous for having a quite a high flea a flight response yes they're prey yeah like yeah they'll they'll be three fields over kind of thing if you try and approach them and and so but i so i don't know i've never seen a deer a female deer cornered it's fucking so stupid stupid. I could beat a shrew, okay? Like, fuck, no problem. I just like, you know, squeeze it hard and it's dead.

Fight over it. What the fuck? Who cares? I could stamp on an otter. No, you fucking, those things are vicious. They're not vicious after I've stomped on it very quickly. I'm telling you. They're not vicious after I've stomped on it very quickly.

I remember in Singapore, I told you guys this lad got attacked by otters. I could kick a hedgehog. Yeah, me too. Where are we going with this? Please listen. Where does this go? Don't hurt the shrew and the hedgehog and the otter, please. No, of course not. I would never.

I'm saying I could. I'm not saying I would. Hedgehogs are one of my favorite animals. I love hedgehogs. They're so sweet. Yeah, me too. They're great. That'd saying I could. I'm not saying I would. Hedgehogs are one of my favorite animals. I love hedgehogs. They're so sweet. Yeah, me too. They're great. It'd be really easy to fight to the death, though.

I think they're, like, trusting as well. No, we've got the spikes, dude. You've got to watch out. Yeah, but I mean, fucking who cares? You've got a pair of shoes on. They're dead. Like, it doesn't matter. No, you're naked.

Oh, you're totally naked. Okay, fuck it. Where are all these rules now? Jesus Christ. Can you imagine walking into a hospital with, like, covered in, like, hedgehog spines, naked. Totally naked.

It's like a really rough fight. It's like the end of an action movie. You should see the hedgehog. I got him. I got that bastard. Well done, Mr. Forsythe. Sadly, you'll never walk again. It was worth it.

It was worth it. This is from a Mr. Davidson. This is somewhat related to the Wisconsin thing, but an attack instead on me making an attack on the East Midlands and Sheffield. Oh, my God. We've shifted the goalpost slightly. We're moving all over there. We're on a world tour of insulting places now.

I attacked Sheffield. It's directly attacked Sheffield. I think any time Flax attacks a town or region, it's somehow to do with football though, right? Especially in England. I don't think Flax is commenting on a place in England outside of the context of football, right? It's a big fact for sure.

So I apparently, I claim that Sheffield was blighted by poverty and decay. And I did add a disclaimer that it was 10 years ago. So fair enough. Sure. There's been a massive resurgence in Sheffield, apparently. Fuck me. It was named one of the coolest places to live by the Sunday Times in 2023.

Right. It's got a university in the world top 100, prestigious roster group. Sheffield Hallam University was awarded University of the Year. And they go on to say 7% of the city's population is employed in the creative industry etc etc etc so things are looking good why is the local tourist board always like so ready to take up arms against uh our podcast for every fucking place in the world as well like holy shit look i nearly went to uni there i heard the uni was good um a few of my friends went there they they were all right i think it's probably all right they make steel and like cutlery probably they used to make steel i don't know if they do sheffield steel is it eu protected i don't think they stopped look you're very

forgettable sorry dude there's a there's a really big uh underground bunker data center for the bank i used to work for in sheffield i don't know if it's still there, but it was like state of the art. Like whether it was like totally weatherproof, like it had... It's probably secret. Oh, millions of servers and stuff. No, I don't know if it's overly secret. I mean...

I suspected the bunker was originally designed to protect people from the residents of Sheffield. Right. Why it's so effective. Oh, man. This is from Brandon.

This is a weird one. Hi, Triforce gang. I know how much you love hearing about toilets and shit, and I wanted to email it. We are very immature, yes. Yeah. I wanted to tell you- Wait, before you start here, I just want to say one thing about my downstairs toilet, which has had to be completely ripped out and refurbished-

I remember this, yes. Because of the water damage. We have to get a close coupled toilet, but we're now looking at getting a close coupled toilet with like a hide in the wall water cistern. The cistern. Yeah, yeah. And it's like this, it's flat, but it's quite big, but it can hide in the wall and it makes your toilet look like it's floating on the wall. But it has to be close coupled because

it's a cloakroom bathroom and if the toilet is not close coupled it'll stick out too far and block the entranceway into the full bathroom question sounds great question is there easy access to the system like is there a panel that you can lift away yes yeah because you just finish it with some sort of like cabinet or something you know like you put a shelf but then you'd have it so that you could open lift the cabinet and access the cistern when you need to because i was just worried because that's if anything breaks on a toilet it's invariably yeah some little arm yeah yeah it's a little mechanism they are made of the cheapest components you could ever imagine and And they're sat in water the whole day, so they're corroding away.

So this is from Brandon. I wanted to tell you about my friend Luke, who poops in a weird way. Right. When he needs a poo, he takes all his lower clothes off. Yes. This is common for kindergarten children. Indeed. This is a common thing that younger children do when they go to the bathroom sometimes

they completely declothe and other times they will just maybe take their pants completely off this is the case when taking a piss as well some people have to like get their whole cock and balls out other people just flop the cock out um see i mean when they piss absolutely i don't know i mean i just like i think i think it's mostly just my cock that comes out not not so much my balls but i just do that thing you know like because when you're a guy and you do a stand-up piss you can just sort of my i wear i wear a lot of track pants i'll be honest with you guys so yeah you know the elasticated waist i can just pull it down slightly get my tackle out and start start

pissing albeit quite slowly these days but i mean it does eventually all come out it depends some people like try and poke their uh cock through the y front hole as well i do that i've done that i've done that like a couple of times it's not it's not my go-to but it's a lot of push i'll do it yeah but but this is this is this is a thing, where he's obviously, it's like the ritual, right? It's like certain things you get used to trigger you and make you, like, make your bodily functions work. Okay. Oh, God. So when he needs to pee, he takes all his lower half clothes off and squats on the floor in front of the toilet.

And when the poo is about to come out, he quickly gets up and sits on the toilet i don't understand wow that's mad he says that is so risky he says it's the correct natural position for your body when pooping says how good it is because it makes him poop really quickly he's not sat on the toilet for oh i see i see i see and when he told us about it me and the rest of our friends bantered with him and became a running joke so okay this is a common thing with, it's true, some people have the little step. So if you have problems pooping, you can get this little step which lifts your legs up so you're in more of a squatting position. I've tried it. I've tried it.

And it works great. It does work great. You poo much more easily. Yeah, you do poo much more easily. It is a lot of strain on your knees. I don't like the process of frogging it on the floor and then quickly waddling over to the poo. Honestly, I'll say if I found out that anybody was doing that in one of my bathrooms at my house as a guest, I would be... I've got some bad news for you, Sips.

I would be dismayed. But fortunately, you're replacing that toilet now, so... You would be more dismayed by the conclusion, which is that one time he was at his mate's house, did this technique, and obviously didn't get to the toilet in time, there was a small bit of poo on the floor. Wow. And it was discovered by another toilet goer. No!

And then he had to come and clean it up and they still- No! One thing that stuck with me throughout most of my travels, the first time I ever went to France and france and used a public toilet they vary some of them are like space age self-cleaning automated whatever and then some of them literally just have uh floor pads for your feet and then a hole in the ground and you shit right into that hole this maybe this maybe this guy would uh would enjoy that he could go to france and just shit in a hole in the floor. There were a couple in Japan with a

guy with a hose outside, and he would go in and hose it down once you were done. It sucked up. They do still, yeah. It's usable. If you go to anywhere, festivals, holiday, in places that are not

fully touristified, this will happen right and you can do the hole in the floor because you can still get the s-bend in the pipe work underneath the ground i think some of the some of the squatty ones are nicer than some of my friends yeah you just need to get rid of the smell but you can still put a bowl into the oh my god i went to i went i went yesterday to i don't want to say whose house I was at, but I was at someone's house. I bet I can guess. Give me

a couple of, just a couple of clues and I can guess immediately. It was Ben. I guarantee it was Ben. Yeah, because he mentioned about the miniatures game, right? There probably have been that. It wasn't Ben. It wasn't Ben, no. Ben's, anyway, in this house, there was I went to the bathroom.

First of all, it's just never been cleaned in there. Oh, this is Bree and Rav's house. It's Al Smithy. No, it's Bree and Rav's house. I'm not telling you. It's not Bree and it's not Rav. It's not Al Smithy. There was no toilet roll.

There was no soap. It's Al Smithy's house. You don't no soap right it's it's al smithy's house you don't have to deny it and um and there was no like no way to dry your hands as well so this isn't harry's place harry's harry's place is nice i don't know man he's uh he's like a young he's a young guy who maybe left home too early like didn't have the refined it's not harry's place no this has happened before right like with hat films definitely at their warehouse their warehouse toilet is a fucking disaster but a warehouse toilet is allowed to be it but that is um that is you know i i brought my own loo roll there knowing that it was going to be a disaster type

thing so i'm prepared for it but like i i think like it's possible it wasn't their main toilet and i went off to do a pee. Fortunately, I didn't need to do anything else because I was like, oh my God. But maybe there's like a second toilet that is more usable

because it was like the downstairs one, you know, under the stairs. Maybe they just forgotten it was there. God, maybe I'm the only person who's ever peed in it. You know,

maybe I rediscovered it. Maybe it's haunted. Maybe it's Tom Bates. Maybe it's Tom Bates. It's not Tom Bates. You're never going to guess. We're not Tom Bates. You're never going to guess. We're not going to guess. We're not going to guess.

Right. Okay. All right. This is from Gavin Feglesger. One of your listeners wrote in about the Japanese prank, Kancho. Remember the fingers up the bum, thousand years of death. I lived in a dorm in Japan with several 18 to 20 year old Japanese folk. And there was a public bath where some of us would hang out to relax one night me and a Japanese mate go in and we're just shooting

the shit I started pulling my trousers off bending down are sticking out and then I feel it the thousand years of death he went full send I couldn't walk right for a couple of hours oh my the lads had a bet on who could can show me first when you were naked holy shit he struck i assume so he took the opportunity and he could have done some real damage with that like be careful it's very tender down there you know well mine is i don't know don't just you're just thousand years of death poke in there you have to lube it up first anyway get some local anesthetic it's fine honestly right that's what you've been having done i can't really feel it honestly good lord this is quite a dramatic mailbag today yeah holy crap loving this these are this is packed full of excitement oh it's great um we we i've

got a good one here about civil war reenactment which is something we spoke about yes the conversation if i recall was we were saying uh we hope that if you do a civil war reenactment, which is something we spoke about previously. The conversation, if I recall, was we were saying, we hope that if you do a civil war reenactment, that if you get shot, you lay down and pretend to be dead to make it more realistic. That is exactly what he talks about. This is from Scott. Thank you, Scott. When I was growing up, so his parents were into it when I was growing up, but I thought you guys might find this interesting. They never got into a group, although they dress up as civilians and go camping in an era-appropriate tent. Sure.

In the last episode, someone mentioned you'd want the guy you're shooting at to drop once shot. But from what I remember, that's not how it usually worked. Oftentimes, guys would get get shot when they'd get tired and needed a break. Oh, right. Reenactments on really hot days would typically result in high mortality rates because no one wanted to spend a lot of time running around in the sun in their full coats and gear.

My parents had a friend that played a surgeon. His operating table had a trap door in it, so a wounded soldier could hide their real leg and he could amputate a fake one. He would put raw hamburger meat on the ends of the amputated limbs so flies would buzz around. Holy shit man, that is dedication. One reenactment that really stands out was recreating the burning of a bridge by

the Union soldiers to stop the Confederates advancing. While the real bridge was over a river, the one they made for the reenactment would have cleared a small creek, but they did light it on fire and it was pretty cool. As the battle was winding down, we started to hear people yelling about a fire. Some of the embers of the bridge fire had landed on a reenactor's tent and it had caught on fire too. Fuck. The tents are supposed to have a flame retardant on them, but for whatever reason, this one didn't. While everyone is starting to gather around the new fire, a guy comes bursting out of the flaming tent, kicking a wooden box.

Turns out the box had all of that guy's gunpowder in it oh shit actual civil war reenactment oh my god you wouldn't have needed the hamburger meat after that one no yeah yeah so this is uh this is one this is a question so i guess we could talk about this and then and then that will generate some more emails i'm sure uh this is uh travis i'm training to be a dancer at what I would consider a somewhat artsy highbrow dance school in the UK. Sure. I have no clue as to whether any of you have an interest in dance,

but I would love to hear your perception on what it is, and I'd be more than happy to answer any questions you have. I feel like, with dance, I feel it would be similar to being into gymnastics or something like that right like uh but you know like the the type of training that you would need to do right like and then you'd have to do a lot of training around like whatever choreography you're doing like for the dance but i feel like it would use a lot of the same sort of uh fitness and muscle groups like aerobics and whatever you know like you'd have to do a lot of that shit all the time i mean it's all i in my in my imagination it's a lot of french terms for sort of set moves yeah

certainly for like dancing and on the stage and like musicals and stuff like yeah because whenever you see that i've seen tv shows and documentaries with it like some dance school whatever it's always a guy big guy in a leotard five six seven eight demi-champ demi-champ and left and left two three duck down handshake and turn and pivot and turn like that yeah i think there would be a lot of that but i think you'd have some good friendships too right there'd be a lot of like nice camaraderie well look i think let's let's not beat around the bush i think people who do dance are hot they present this aura of happiness there's probably like around the bush i think people who do dance are hot they present this aura of happiness there's probably like i think we i think we're probably just happy to be so healthy

fit right they're super fit and healthy yeah like like like i think i think dance is one of these things that actually is very human and natural and positive and gives you a lot of yeah good like endorphins and i think that we don't dance enough and i think we're shy and embarrassed about dancing and i've it's not a regret but i'm kind of jealous of people who do dance i find now that i have three kids and i'm older i am not ashamed of dancing at all like i will i will just fucking dance man like you put put a good tune on and i'm i'm i'm i wish i danced more i never danced i guess like i was never at the clubs i was never any in any dancing i got a question for you guys i asked

chat yesterday this is kind of related to dancing you don't remember ravishing rick rude from uh wrestling no yeah okay he did that thing and i guess like chippendale it seems to be a man thing to do when they're doing like uh like a sexier dance you put your hands but you put both your hands behind your head and then you sort of rotate your pelvis around right yeah yeah what the fuck is that and why did it ever become popular or associated with like like like i said like chippendales like or like male strippers or whatever like who decided that this was a thing that people wanted to see or whatever? It's absurd.

Let's imagine. But it's frustrating. It is. But if you look at that move, it's showing off everything. I guess. If you're naked from like the waist up. Yeah, because I'm pretty sure bodybuilders do it sometimes too. Right.

So you're showing off. When you put your arms behind your head, it pumps up your biceps. Right. And you'll see the chest muscles. So it is just off, when you put your arms behind your head, it pumps up your biceps. Right. You'll see the chest muscles- So it is just a muscle showcase, this move. That, and also the gyrating implies, huh? Hmm? Yeah. You know what this means. Well, but maybe that's what women see when a man is having sex with them, right? That thrusting motion. Maybe that's- It's more of like a round motion though, I can't imagine. It's not like much of a back and forth right you're sort of that's what women see

i think that's the idea right like that it's like it's like it's like a sexualized image of like a man frosting okay but if you see somebody doing that do you think that that's sexy i don't i i just think it's it's all but you're not into dudes you're not into i could be if they'd come up with a better move than that like that that move you'll have to sell me better than that if you're gonna turn me on mister you're gonna have to do a lot better than this i've seen this move before and it doesn't do it for me what else have you done piss on my face let's try that please my impression of dance i i've been to a ballet believe it or not mrs f booked it we all went it was fucking awful i tried not to sit arms folded looking miserable in the front row but i did not off at one point mrs f had to wake me up it was fucking awful uh it's just not for

me it's really not for me i mean everybody else got a lot of ramifications you know what we're talking about country dancing in the village hall or are we talking about like line dancing dancing on ice what are we talking about that's more of a communal thing like you can join in yeah like if you look at what is it saddle as wells is like the theater where they do dance shows and it's all like modern dance interpretive dance all that kind of stuff. To me, to me, a load of wank. But if you're into it, fair enough. What about the salsa?

What about going to a ballroom? No, I hate all the Strictly Come Dancing, all of that wanky shit. I hate all that. Mrs. F really wanted us to do dance lessons. And I had to, I very rarely put my foot down and say I'm not. I had to use the rare veto. You can't veto too much or it's a piss take. But occasionally we'll veto each other and she's like, no.

And I'm like, she's like, veto. I was like, okay. And I vetoed it. Do you think that Cockney rhyming slam for veto would be Danny DeVito? I'm gonna Danny DeVito. No, because it has the word veto in it. You used your Danny on that. You used your Danny!

You'd say, what is Danny DeVito rhyming slang for? Danny DeVito? Vito. Doesn't make sense. Oh. It has to not have the word in it. Oh, I see. So you'd call it like hamburger.

That would write hamburger-mito, Danny DeVito. Hamburger-mito, Danny DeVito. Hamburger-mito. Just like a real company lyricist. I was watching tell you the other day, he saw that hamburger Vito on there.

He means Danny DeVito. Does he? Or does he mean Vito? This is confusing. So anyway, the value of Vito is that you can screw that away

for a time when you've really upset her and you can say, do you know what? I've booked us some dance lessons. And she'll be like, oh my God, do you remember that I always wanted to do those? You know? I thought I would have to use my special reserve veto for a potential fourth child.

But it turns out that my wife is just like, no, we cannot have another one. Like two is enough. Jeez. So I haven't had to use it. I can safely say if I'm allowed one veto, I still have it. I've never used a veto in my entire 20 years of marriage. That's nice. That's pretty good.

But I'm going to use it. Don't worry. One of these days, you know, like if some shit comes up and I'm like, nah, the veto is coming out. Right. Well, let's write in with examples of things that you've vetoed. Yeah. Any interesting threesome stories. Yeah.

Please, thank you to everyone that emailed in about Wisconsin. We're done with that. Do not mail in about potentially fighting an animal to death, okay? Yeah, we don't care about that either. Also, some of you have been sending in some really, really nice emails that are very detailed, and I have read them, but they are just too long. It would take about 10 minutes to read some of these emails. So if your email is like that long, just think, because I'm worried some of you have wasted

your time. They're not going to get rid of it. We just want them bite size. Think tater tots. Yeah. A paragraph or two is fine. But some of these are literally i have to scroll like two screens to read the whole email it's too much it's too much it's too much it's like an essay

yeah and i i get it you've got a lot to say and it's great that you guys are enjoying the mailbag episodes i think we really enjoy doing them but please they're a little long some of them are just a little too long and some of them are way too long so please trim them down if you can right okay that's how. Right. So send us emails, but make them shorter. No, just, I mean, a lot of the ones we read out this week, I thought were perfect. Perfect length.

Nice. Yeah. Some people are, especially some topics we get onto. This is like the specialist subject for some people and they're very passionate about it. And I love that, but please, these emails are never getting read out and I feel terrible, but it is literally hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of words and it's just not going to make it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Well, that's great. Thank you. Thank you for- that was a great podcast. I thought that was a good one. It was good. Thank you for all the emails. They're fantastic. Mailbags are always so good.

God, I enjoyed the shit out of that one. Yeah. You guys are great. Just keep it shorter next time. Yeah, just trim it down a little bit. A little bit of editing. That's all I'm saying. just trim it down a little bit. A little bit of editing. That's all I'm saying. I think it's a reasonable request.

And also, that would increase the chances of getting your email read out, which is why you sent it in. Thank you, everyone. See you next week. We love you. We'll see you next week. Bye. See you later.

Bye.