Triforce! - Triforce! Mailbag Special #29: Tony Carrot, High School Bully

Episode Date: February 23, 2024

Triforce Mailbag Special 29! Police raids in escape rooms, the most interesting Prison story, Lewis' new age meditations and more in today's mailbag! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickaxe He wants to start with some music. It would have been weird if we just opened it with the music. That's what I thought. So I've written it. Because then people will be like, did I click on the right podcast? This is real weird. You have a keyboard or something. I have. This is my kid's Casio keyboard, the SA-46, a classic. It's a short piano. I thought it was like little Gockenspiel.

No. Little bricks. That's just option number six on the tones. There's 100 tones on this bad boy. You can fit so many tones in this bad boy. Anyway, so this is the mailbag jingle, which I'm open to suggestions. And if someone could take this raw version and turn it into something good, maybe we'll do something with it.

This is how it goes. The mailbag, the mailbag, the mailbag here. Once again. Yes. Very good. That's perfect. I love the here once again. That's really good.

So good. That's brightened my day immensely. It was a very, very happy jingle. It was. That's what I thought. I love doing the mailbag episode. Man, it's so hopeful. It's very hopeful.

The reality is a much more grim and easy-like-and-find-a-good-book. The mailbag, the mailbag. That's the reality. I use the organ to play my kids down for dinner. Really? What? So, it used to just be the whistle, which I've spoken about before,

where I've trained my children over their combined ages. You know, they've got a 12-year-old and a nearly 15-year-old. And when it's dinner time, I go like this up the stairs, which is the captain aboard sort of whistle that they use in the Navy.

And a friend of mine's dad used to do that whenever he came home and we'd all know. We'd all say, oh, hi, like that, you know. So I whistle that and they come charging downstairs in the middle of conversations, regardless of what they're doing, they drop what they're doing.

Like it's a pure Pavlovian response. Exactly. When they come downstairs, their mouths are watering because they're expecting food. So if I use it, for instance, if I can't get their attention, I whistle. They're like, how dare you use the whistle? and if I can't get their attention, I whistle. They're like, how dare you use the whistle? So in order to lighten it,

because sometimes it feels a little formal, I've tried salutes. They're very bad at saluting. Sometimes they forget, but I'll salute. I'll wait till they've finished. I'll drop my salute. Like really make it a thing to program their brains to eat dinner. So now I also play a jaunty tune

as they're coming down the stairs, which amuses them. So there we go. What's the jaunty tune? I just bang away at the keyboard and see what comes up last night whilst fumbling with the keyboard at the bottom of the stairs I stumbled upon the magic that is the triforce mailbag jingle which uh oh now we'll have to use wow I automatically fit it felt like it'd been there the whole time that's what I mean yeah and and I'm I And I'm so ready for people's messages today.

Oh, hell yeah. All right. So we had an email. We had an email. I'm actually slightly breathless after laughing at that stupid jingle. Okay, well, compose yourself. So I had an email from a guy called Jacob who works. He does escape rooms.

Okay. Right. So I'll drop two stories for now. Let me know if you ever want more or have any questions. Jacob, let's... Hang on. Now, do you mean he does them as a hobby or he runs them as a job? He runs. So, surprise police visit.

Because I do escape rooms. Right, no, this guy actually works for them. So, surprise police visit. In the first game we ever designed, when escape rooms were pretty new to the uk the plot was to escape before the police arrive inside the game there was an old phone that as far as i knew was useless and was only used to hide a voice note during a particular game a team was playing with the phone and just left it to the side no different than normal 30 minutes into the game while watching the cameras i see two police officers enter our lobby and directly into the escape room. The team, thinking it's a pair of extremely well-costumed actors, proceed to ask,

We have 30 minutes left until you arrive. Why are you here? The police look very confused, seeing a room designed to look like a criminal's home, fit with stacks of cash littered on coffee tables, a realistic pistol on the sofa, empty alcohol containers on the carpet, a team of four adults all sweaty from running around doing puzzles, or to the background music from The Godfather godfather at this point i've sprinted down the corridor in panic apparently the team had dialed 999 and left the phone to the side so a nearby pair of police decided to inspect the location at the time had an open lobby door and the first door as you entered

was after the escape room door the officers were extremely chill about the situation mentioning any strange calls that come from the oxford road worth checking just in case. If you know the town of Reading, you know why, and it's not basically slough in very long street form. The team found it extremely funny. After learning phones could be pretty much always dial emergency services, it was removed. So what, they had the phone plugged in?

Was it like an old rotary phone or something? I assume so, yeah. And I guess you could always dial 999. It's the same on mobile phones, even if you don't have, like, if you haven't paid your bill yeah you can still dial stuff you can still call emergency services i've done it by accident on my phone once of course everyone has and but i think it's like there's police officers i imagine they just walk they know where the address is they walk up there they just walk in right they're like the door's open they just walk in and then there's the door open they just walk in they're just peeking that poking their nose into. And I guess these places don't have that much of a complicated layout,

you know, because there's not much space, right? You rent a place to have a business there. It's got a big room, another big room off it. It's not like it's that hard to find. And suddenly, you know, there's like a crime scene in front of you with all these people like bagging up money or something. I like the idea that that that it's just how because well it's the classic policeman responded to a call

of no one responding on the line yeah which they i mean it could be a disaster so if you don't respond you know realistically somebody does 999 passes out or something and you're just like ah it's probably a prank like you have to check it out unfortunately are there also those you hear about these things that are the pizza thing as well like um calling the police and asking for pizza yeah it's like code for i'm being held yeah there are a few um i can't remember what yeah there's there's one that women are meant to use if they're in public um i mean i'm sure women know it's better if we don't publicize it maybe but you can look it up there are certain code phrases that you can say to how is it bad to public because what if someone who is uh a uh a violent person is listening to this and now they

know the code phrase to say oh true true well but as we don't know the code phrase and that means probably a lot of people don't know the code. Exactly. So in other words, it's hopefully a good secret. But you go, you see sometimes in bars and stuff, there's like, you know, if you're uncomfortable,

it's like ask for Tina or something like that, isn't it? Like, yeah, you can go to a bar and ask for a specific thing. And then they're like, well, we don't have that.

And you're like, well, I want pizza though. I definitely want pizza. They're like, well, we don't serve pizza, but I would like pizza wink.

Yeah. And they're like, I don't know what you're talking about. This woman's asking for pizza and winking at me. Kind of awkward. Yeah. So the second part is this couple are in there. The game goes pretty normal. From what I gathered, both couples have been together for a few years. However, while watching the cameras of their progress,

I noticed the male from one couple and the female from the other seem to sneak into other rooms where they proceed to share little sneaky kisses hugs and booty pinches whoa whoa whoa whoa so hang on a second so there's two couples doing a escape route together except two of them are cheating with each other yeah and sneaking off to to oh my god like matt Matt Hancock style cameras have caught them from above, like doing little kisses and stuff. That is gross. Part of me theorized it could be some kind of polyamorous relationship, but this was incorrect.

As during a heated argument on a puzzle out of nowhere, the woman who had not been part of the cheeky escapades shouts out to her male partner, who was the one being naughty, this is why i cheated on you oh that is one awkward escape room i want to get out of there as soon as possible holy shit so that's why she oh no yeah so he maybe this was like revenge cheating by him just call it off just break up for the love of god escape room like you have to work together like you're supposed to be team building i think it's a

metaphor they're trying to escape from their lives shattering oh my god i thought i thought the sort of when you started going into the police thing with the escape rooms i thought it was something to do with people being held prisoner or people being hostage you know just assuming because if you didn't know what an escape room was at all you you might think it was something i don't know like illegal going on right yeah yeah like it might be like you know like like a panic room or like um like a safe house or something do you mean exactly like an escape from crime room escape from crime yeah like you've done crime when you're using that room to escape yeah it does sound it's a cool name escape room it is a cool name it's the cool

thing i've done one in ages yeah i did one relatively recently it was fun enough we should i'll do one next time we're down in bristol there's something in bristol yeah let's do this let's do one that'll be nice you can come yeah we can come sips come down oh it's unlikely yeah first week of april i'm gonna be in bristol first week april yeah uh march april i might be able to do that actually that'd be someone was saying that something's happening on when you're down oh yeah ben's going on holiday for a week but we can probably do a game that's we can probably do a game anyway no no so he's gonna he's not leaving uh until a few days in so there is there are a couple of days i think i

think we've got monday and tuesday yeah yeah so So we'll do it. He showed me the game he wants to do. It looks really silly. Oh, good. Okay. Oh, yeah. I know what you mean. Who wants to play a silly game? Yeah, it's quite silly.

Well, it's hard to do World War II in a silly way. Yeah. Well, they managed it with this game. Well, we've got a cool idea. Well, games like it's so much fun. Oh, my God. It's our current obsession. Yeah. Finally, we can put all of our miniatures to use all our tiny toys yeah god honestly i've been i'm stood my

my recording room at the moment i don't you guys have seen it but there's a wall of boxes right and they are miniatures that i've painted or collected or bought or or been given over the years and it i can't bear myself to throw them away because i think oh this would make a great video one day i i am like a hoarder though it has become out of control because the thing is one one piece of scenery these are massive you know like it's like lego as soon as you start getting lego it takes up so much fucking space and our office is like pretty small really and i feel so guilty about it because i'm supposed to be the role model of like the office dad like you know i'm organized and tidy i am the biggest child in the office my i'm

like if if you if you were hit round here pflex you'd be telling me off like a naughty kid like tidy your room you'd be whistling you'd be like playing a tune tidy your room it's a fucking mess you don't know what you're doing and it looks like shit yeah there'd be there'd be i'd be getting all manner of detention and grounding and would it have my own playstation time removed i think is when we when we when we changed up the office for jingle jam uh my i had to i had to clear all my desk right i had to clean it so i shoved everything into my recording room temporarily. But now it's just even worse in here. And I can't tidy it. I just need an hour, but as soon as I get a free hour, I look at it and I'm like, I

don't want to do this. Well, how would you like to imagine a scenario where you had lots of time? Like for instance, in jail, as this next email is about jail. Would you like to hear it? Well, you don't- As having a lot of time in jail. ... keep your jail cell tidy, right? You don't get much shit in jail.

Well, exactly. This is quite a long one, but I know that we are very interested in jail. And this is from Chris, who ended up in jail. We are. We are fascinated by it. I think it's because it is this frightening other world that so many people have to experience. Yeah. I think it's because it is this frightening other world that so many people have to experience. It's a non-zero percent chance that we might get falsely convicted of some crime.

Exactly. I mean, it's possible. Some financial fraud or something. What have you been up to, Lewis? Well, I think you see so many things on telly of people being falsely accused and going to prison for the wrong thing or whatever. Or people just holding a grudge you know yeah um setting you up that's how they got all those mafia guys who

didn't do anything wrong yeah yeah they were all innocent of course yeah so uh a little while back we were like send us your jail stories if you've been to jail um and this this lad did a few months for some poor decision making nothing too bad but stupid stuff he shouldn't have done. So this is an American jail, okay? When I first arrived at the jail, due to an extensive backlog, I was forced to wait 30 hours in intake. This entails sitting in a bright, cold concrete room with old sandwiches strewn across the floor. Of the entire- It's like a holding cell, right? Yes. Anytime we talk about prison, I think about prison architect, and in my mind I'm visualizing, okay, so you've gone through the front entrance and

you've removed your clothing and they've checked your ass and they've given you a jumpsuit. And the first place you've gone is into a small holding cell, which, if memory serves, usually has a toilet and a bench and a jail door as well. Exactly. Of the entire few months in prison, this was probably the most miserable part. You really know you've fucked up when you find yourself gazing at a slowly shriveling piece of pseudo ham while a guy in withdrawal shits his brains out on the toilet a few feet away. I entertained myself by whistling, doing squats and building a totem pole out of pieces of cardboard. On the wall was a bunch of adverts for bail companies, which I also created a mental tier

list of. The worst part was not having a single thing to read or do the entire time. The one silver lining was that the stiff and thin jail mattress felt like heaven afterwards. Because I was in minimum security, rather than being placed in a one or two person cell, I was placed in a larger pod that had 8 or 9 bunks all crowded together in a large room with a single shared bathroom and shower. A total of three pods would make up the tier and two tiers would make up the building, one on top of the other. While this initially seemed like a bad thing, it turned out to be better than expected. My pod mates were relatively chill with only a

single fight breaking out during my whole time there. The pod had collected a lot of good books, including the Red Rising series, which I read, and there were a few solid chess players who I could play each night. As a result of the long timers and the podfather being chill, the pod itself was never violent and they worked to keep drugs out of our area, although alcohol was another story. Food. The jail food was very bad. Now I've heard about this call time that they have and it's insane. They get woken up at 5am to have breakfast at 5.30. It usually consisted of some oatmeal like goo, a few tiny nasty sausages, some milk on the brink of going sour, and the most flavourless potatoes you could possibly imagine. Lunch

at 11.30 is a pseudo-ham sandwich or a PB&J, with a few soggy cookies and maybe an orange if you were lucky. Dinner at 4.30 would almost always be some combination of rice, beans and mushy broccoli stems. It is impossible for me to describe how little flavour there was in the food. You could not create create less flavor food if you tried i genuinely think scientists must have worked in a lab for years to devise some sort of sinister device for extracting all the flavor even people who'd served time across the country would say it was the worst at this jail swamping the food in commissary bought hot sauce and pepper packets which you had to buy one at a time was the only way to make it bearable the foil to this was the inmate made food okay so prison cooking is a thing which is

funny because there's an alan partridge cooking in prison which is like one of the pictures that he makes never in my life have i seen such culinary miracles crafted from such a ragtag array of ingredients and man would they spend a lot of time on these meals while many would opt for a simple pork rinds in refried rice and beans or the popular jail classic, the manwich, which is ramen noodles between two slices of bread, many would spend hours crafting intricate recipes ranging from sweet and sour chicken, which is instant rice, ramen noodles, chicken ramen seasoning, apple and grape jelly, pork rinds, hot sauce, jalapenos and lemon juice to full on stacked and cooked burritos that would be filled with $15 worth of commissary

items, instant rice, refried beans, jalapenos, summer sausages, squeezed cheese, and more, meticulously wrapped in a highly skilled procedure, and then delivered to the pod workers, which is inmates who had the jobs cleaning and setting up the meals, who would bring the burritos down to the oven and smuggle them in there to cook them. So you would smuggle them in to cook them in the prison kitchen, and then they'd bring you back the burritos. So they loved those, apparently. There's also the jail economy. Some then they'd bring you back the burritos. So they loved those, apparently. There's also the jail economy. Some interesting tidbits.

Basic commissary items could be traded for each other at all times, simply based on the price of the items. Most universal is a package of ramen, which inmates call soups. You could buy 24 of these for $7 on Amazon. They cost $1.37 at the jail commissary. The most desired were the instant coffee and honey buns, which is like a popular dessert. There were three real industries, drugs, alcohol, and art.

Drugs were done very under the table and would rarely see them. Almost all the drug trading was of suboxone, a drug given to inmates dealing with withdrawal, so they would trade those.

Alcohol, they would do the pruno. We've spoken about pruno extensively. They do pruno and burp the machine to let the gases out and stuff like that. So pruno is the prison spoken about pruno extensively, they do pruno and burp the machine to let the gases out and stuff like that. So pruno is the prison wine, not prune wine.

Prison wine, yes. Yeah, it's called pruno, I don't know why. And they do it with the fizzy, sort of pulpy orange stuff. And the opposite side of the alcohol and drugs was the art industry. Each inmate was ultimately trying to combat the desolation of being in jail and being separated from their families, and while they would often choose drugs and alcohol, sometimes they'd choose art instead. Wow.

Fuck me. Spend the long hours. This is so interesting. Lewis wants to go. So bad now. They would do coloring books, walk around and show their art to their friends, and in the days before a holiday, some inmates would begin selling paper mache roses and hearts, as well as accurate drawings of Disney characters for people to mail to their families as a

gift. It was an unexpectedly sweet and slightly somber piece of the jail experience. That is interesting. Man, oh man, that is interesting. That is awesome. It's crazy, isn't it? It's just, it is a different world and one that you don't want to ever experience, I'd imagine, right?

Like, it's like in Aladdin, a whole new world, but not... And he says, don't you dare close your eyes. But maybe if you are in that whole new world, you will want to close your eyes. You may well want to. I love the idea that they're in there. Yeah. Like, still, even then, in that desperate situation, human beings are like, I just want to make some art.

I just want to make some Disney characters for my kids. Some light in the darkness. Yeah. What is that? What is that? I'm sure there's a few TV shows where the warden commissions some artist to do a picture of his wife. Yeah, Sean Shetland's Redemption. Remember when the guy's like, make me a world-class

chess set. And Andy Dufresne starts whittling. I don't think he's... He's not making it for the warden. Sure he is. He's making it for himself. No, No. They come in and they let him- It's never explicitly said that he's making it for him, but he's making it for him. No, he's not. He hates the warden. He already does his accounting.

Oh, yeah. He does his accounting. It's been such a long time since I've seen that movie. Yeah. That's a good one. In Escape from Alcatraz, the Clint Eastwood prison escape movie, there's a guy in there who does a painting of the warden and the warden hates it so much he takes away all the guy's art supplies.

And the guy cuts his fingers off with a hatchet and goes crazy. That's right. Yeah. It's really horrible. That's a great movie, actually. That is a really good movie. A true story, too. A true story.

Escape from Alcatraz. Yeah. Starting Clint Eastwood. So this is about Delaware, which I think you mentioned it briefly. A true story. Escape from Alcatraz. Yeah. Classic. 17th classic. Starting Clint Eastwood. Yeah. So this is about Delaware, which I think you mentioned it briefly. It might've been you, Sips, that actually mentioned Delaware on one of the previous Mailbags.

We've had one email from a Delawarean. I don't think they're particularly passionate people about their state. Right. But this lad is. A Delawareite? A Delawarean. A Delawarean. It's gotta be a Delawarean.'s a delawareian uh this is from

wendell hey uh uh the name's wendell i don't want to make this too long but figured you'd like some insight into the second smallest state in the u.s delaware sure i've lived here since 1993 so i've got some inside knowledge for you first thing i wanted to do is clarify sips's tax-free comment just in case you don't know states don't put sales tax on prices so you don't really know the total of stuff like groceries until you check out. In Delaware, there is no sales tax. So what you see is what you pay. We still pay state, federal, and social security taxes, but there's no sales tax.

Delaware is the first state to ratify the constitution back in 1776. We covered this. We did indeed. The cities here are so incredibly varied for somewhere so small. Okay, sure. We covered this. We covered this. We did. We did indeed. The cities here are so incredibly varied for somewhere so small. Newark, for example, is a massive college town thanks to the University of Delaware. This must be different from the Newark in New Jersey. Yeah.

While no more than 15 miles west is Wilmington, which for a while had the highest rate of crime per capita of any city in the US. Woo! And our south- Wilmington, Delaware. Wilmington. And our south, and you get to what's called Slower Lower Delaware, where we have some folk as backwards as they come, but the majority are kind of considerate people.

DuPont is a chemical producer based here that's gone on to develop materials such as Teflon, Dekron and Lycra. But fuck DuPont, you shouldn't be proud of that. No, you should not be. Yeah. They are a terrible, terrible company. They are dreadful people. Rehoboth Beach is pretty shit, but what can you do? All in all, I love Delaware and recommend anyone to visit if they get the chance. Right. Yeah, maybe not. Thanks, Wendell. That's

the only email we had about Delaware. Flax is adding that to his list of no-go areas, which is quite extensive if you've listened to the podcast before. And now Delaware is on there, too. But purely from a boredom angle. Yeah. It sounds boredom. Fair enough. That's fair enough. So the nicknames of Delaware are the First State, the Small Wonder, the Diamond State,

and the Blue Hen State. Nice. I want to know all this crap about states. If you're from a state and you know a lot about it You've got quirky info Please send that into the mailbag But make it interesting Wait for us to ask as well We don't want just random emails about Rhode Island

Or whatever Well now you mention Rhode Island that's it Yeah well no I'm not asking about it though I don't really want to know about Rhode Island At some point I'm sure I will though There's one state which is Michigan, which is where they're known as like, a Michigander. Oh, wow.

Which is a bit of a weird suffix. I think there's a bunch, because most of them are like, Californian, or Alaskan. Right. But there's a few which are Ites as well. I think it's it, is ites as well, I think. Is it Chicagoite? I thought they'd be called Michigosh, but sure, Michigandians. And I think New Yorker-

But Chicago's a city, so you wouldn't really say... I guess New York's a city and they call them New Yorkers, right? Yeah, you're a Chicagoan, aren't you? Chicagoan. I don't think that that name is really good for, you know, doing that kind of stuff with it, you know? Like, adding an en on the end of it or whatever. Yeah, it's an awkward word. It is so awkward, yeah.

Hey, I'm a New Yorker! Yeah, New Yorker's fine! New Yorker's perfect. But then they also have Vermont-a, Maine-a, New Hampshire, right, maybe? But I'm from Ottawa. What's that, an Autowhite? I don't know. It's another one. It ends with an A, so it's really hard to make it not awkward and add-

I think you just put an N on the end. Ottawan. Yeah, I don't know. Anyway. This is a nice one. I would like to take them up on this. First, thank you for taking the time to read my email. I don't remember if you're referring to this one or a different one, Patrick, but thank

you. I'm a fully trained and qualified goldsmith slash jeweler, and I'm trying to start up my own business with the help of my boyfriend, Patrick, who you might know from the past as Darkside Pat, because his mom made him go to bed whilst playing a game of Dota. So that was an episode that was something that we covered

in 2014 I did a video where that was Darkside Pat had to go to bed because his mum made him go to bed that's so funny

in the middle of a game he was in mid game and his mum had to go to bed made him go to bed that's right oh my god when he was playing

with you yeah and there's a video that's so good the week in facts episode 2 you look it up Darkside Pat must feature in there Oh my God, when he was playing with you. Yeah, and there's a video. That's so good. The Week in Facts episode two, you look it up, Dark Side Pat must feature in there. So they'd love to make us jewelry.

This was 10 years ago. Yeah, but they've offered to make us some jewelry. At no charge. Make a necklace with a lot of bling on it. And you know, like it's done in the cursive, right? You know, like sometimes they put like, I don't know, like juicy or whatever. It's like a medallion with like the word juicy written on it. Make a medallion that says time for bed on it and then put like a bunch of diamonds and stuff like, you know, really like bling it out.

I think that would be perfect. I just want quite a long, plain necklace. I like long necklaces, preferably one that reaches down to the middle of my chest. Right. So you just want a little gold? No, it doesn't have to be gold. Obviously, I love gold, but that's very expensive. Hey, so I hear you're making it be a free gold necklace.

I'd like the longest gold chain. The longest, thickest gold chain you've got. No, it can be made of anything. I don't care. A nice necklace for me to wear. I do love necklaces. What do you mean a necklace? A necklace. What are you talking about. I do love necklaces. What do you mean a necklace? A necklace.

I like long necklaces. Well, they're offering to make us jewellery. What do you mean a long necklace? I need to know more about this. Like, what kind of thing are we talking here? What does it look like? Like a sweaty, hairy man chain, you know, like one of these lads. The sort of thing a Greek lad would wear.

So, hello, I am Costas. I make you a kofta and a gyro. What do you want? Chili sauce? Like that. The kind of thing that he would wear. So, hello, I am Costas. I make your kofta and gyro. What do you want? Chili sauce? Like that. The kind of thing that he would wear. The kind of long thing.

While you're walking you're like a bulldog out on the street. Exactly. I want a nice long chain. A nice long chain. What do you want,

Lulu? A pinky ring, I think, or something to go on his pinky toe. Like a toe ring. I'd have an earring an earring you do you if you get an earring mate i'm stopping this fucking podcast

i'm turning it around and we're going home he's gonna turn it around it'll be like a ronaldo diamond stuff no don't do it don't don't ever get an earring oh my god i would lose all respect for you what do you mean i got um i I got- I can pull it off. No, don't do it. Please. What about like a mouthpiece with gold teeth? Like a, like a- A grill.

Yeah, like a grill. Yeah, like a, like, like ODB used to have one, and I'm pretty sure Method Man used to use one as well. Fuck me. Yeah, it's like- Get one of those! Sure. Or maybe a giant fucking clock.

A giant gold clock. That's what I was gonna ask for. Yeah, well, okay. Well- You get the mouthpiece, I'll get the clock, and then- giant fucking clock uh giant gold clock that's what i was gonna ask for yeah well okay well you get the mouthpiece i'll get the clock and then flax will have a medallion and then when we combine together like voltron we'll form a rapper do they have a link to their stuff and also by the way don't send us stuff for free we'll pay if you're if you're talented and and and we'll pay like i hate doing I hate getting like that sort of stuff. Don't-

I'd like to put in a counterpoint here, I love getting free stuff. I wanna support fan-made stuff. Free stuff is my favourite stuff, so. Yes. Oh, I see, they do custom designs, that's the point, right. Ohhhh. Custom designs for free as well. God, I like that.

Yeah, but obviously, don't send a solid gold necklace, that's going to cost you a fortune. Just something nice, that's all I'm saying. Or, counterpoint, do send one. With a bill. With no bill. If you send us anything, send a bill as well. No, no, no bill. Anyway.

Gold's expensive, dude. I love the mailbag. Do you know how much a gold coin costs these days? No, no, no. A gold, one ounce of gold. How much how much a gold coin costs these days? No. A gold- one ounce of gold. How much does one golden shilling cost these days? A golden shilling? Probably like a hundred pound?

Wow. Yeah. All right. Well, here's another email. This is from Ollie. You could buy a Nintendo game with that much money. You could. My partner and I drove up to the Lake District, which took roughly seven hours from London.

We booked an Airbnb, which was a bespoke made cabin on wheels on a farm. Sure. This is very common nowadays. Once we arrived, there was nobody in sight, so we let ourselves in. I laid down on the bed and my partner went to the toilet. At that point, I went to find the contact number

for the Airbnb owner, but it immediately noticed from the photographs that we were not in the right cabin. I told my partner we need to leave immediately, but then found out the photographs that we were not in the right cabin. I told my partner we need to leave immediately, but then found out she was mid poo. Once the bowels were released into the toilet, we noticed the toilet was not connected to any plumbing and neither were any of the taps. And upon our hasty departure, noticed the cabin was purely a showroom and had to leave

the excrement in the dry toilet. We finally found the correct cabin and settled in i physically couldn't look at the airbnb owner as i would burst out laughing because my partner left a shit in her showroom my partner under cover of darkness went back to the showroom and extracted the poop put it in an empty marshmallow bag and flushed it down a functional toilet that was the highlight of our trip gosh i'm sorry to hear so good that you went and i can fix this yeah Yeah, well done. What an honourable fucking action.

That has got you so much karma. In the afterlife, you are gonna be reincarnated as a fucking stag or whatever, not as a worm. You will remember that experience for the rest of your life as well. You will never forget that. What a heroic decision as well. You don't have to feel guilty, you fixed it. Under cover of darkness like a fucking stealth- could you imagine getting caught, though? Putting your shit in a marshmallow bag as well.

Could you imagine, like, leaning over the toilet, picking up a shit, and someone turning the torch on? Oh, oh my god, the police coming. That would be something. Jesus Christ, that would be something, yeah. Alright, this is another one. Oh my god, the police coming. Oh, jeez. That would be something. That would be something, yeah. All right, this is another one. This is, we had a chat about tigers versus polar bears.

Yes, we did. And in a recent podcast, you guys were discussing which animals would win in a fight. We try to stay away from this because it's a very boring topic, really. But it is- They hate each other. They do. Tigers, polar bears. Famous enemies.

I can confirm, this is according to Marco, that it would be a tiger. A friend of my parents witnessed a tiger killing a polar bear at a circus in Cornwall when the animal handlers lost control. And this is a picture from a news clipping dated 7th of August 1969. Circus tiger kills bear. Odmin audience told to keep calm. kills bear, Bodmin audience told to keep calm. A tiger attacked and killed a two-year-old polar bear valued at a thousand pounds during Monday's performance at Rico's Circus, which was making its first visit to Bodmin at the start of a Cornish tour.

So there you go. Okay. But was the bear ready to fight though? Like I'm under the assumption that these animals are both ready to fight to the death, right? Like I feel like in that case, the tiger was ready to fight, and maybe the bear was like, oh, what's going on? You know, like, it didn't fight back? Well, uh, apparently what happened is that- I don't think it was a fair fight.

The tiger jumped on the bear and broke its neck. Right. Well, that's not fair. They didn't have, like, the- Broke its neck? Like a fucking ninja? They didn't have, like, a ref to say, you know, 3-2-1 fight, or anything like that. That doesn't sound like a fair fight say, you know, three, two, one, fight, or anything like that. That doesn't sound like a fair fight.

Like, I mean, I'd probably win a fight too if I had the opportunity to break somebody's neck before the fight started, you know what I mean? It sounds like it was done accidentally. Do you know what I mean? I think they both went for the same piece of meat, and the cat just didn't realize how heavy he was and crushed him. Just crushed him. Probably felt terrible about it.

Yeah. They were probably mates. Maybe they were, you know? Maybe they just had a dispute. You know, like that circus, you know, community, you know, they probably were like, they might have even loved one another. Sure. Maybe they did, you know? So I don't know if we could really say that that is evidence of-

That's one instance. It's not a fair fight. No. We'll chalk that one down. That is murder. That's not a fight. I mean, they do live a long way apart, and it's hard to organize that cage fight. I mean, if we crowdfunded it, we could get the fight of the century, Tiger versus

Polar Bear. See, I'm thinking if you want a fair fight, you've got to get them both really riled up too. You got to probably starve them a a bit get them riled up get them snarling at each other and stuff so they know that they're gonna fight really yeah like show them really get them to the point where it's like we're opening these doors and one of you is gonna die sort of thing right yeah that is a fair fight okay what happened there is not in my opinion fair like the the tiger got the, the bear wasn't ready,

and immediately broke its neck. That's not a fight. This might be, like, part of my cynical worldview, but if we did launch some Kickstarter for this thing, right? We'd be arrested immediately. They'd kick us off Kickstarter, so we'd make our own platform to do it. We'd probably be deported as well. I don't think this would go down well.

We'd find an alternative platform, right? And then there'd be all this outcry, but loads of people would put money in. Do you know what I mean? Because that's the way the world works, right? I can imagine tons of people would put money into this fucking stupid shit idea. Just casual animal cruelty. It's a lot of people are just like ah fuck the environment ah fuck yeah i don't know if they're gonna put money there though because it really does associate them immediately with uh something awful you know like no and i'm

not talking about the website here either i'm talking people love doing that with the internet generally they're all you know truth social and all this shit. I guess so, yeah. Everyone's already associated themselves with terrible things. True. What can they do? Yeah, true. All right. Anyway, great letter. Thank you. Yeah, good job. Thank you. Thanks so much.

This is from Louis. This is kids with funny names at school. Right. I've recently been listening to the backlog of podcasts again. In episode 138, you briefly had a chat about kids with funny names who get bullied at school after talking about Neville Longbottom. Yeah. 138. God, that's a long way back.

That is a long way back. We had a few good ones. We had Abby Dixon, who got called Scabby Dickskin, which was pretty funny at the time. That's real bad. Our PE teacher was called Mr. Crookshank, so he got called Mr. Crookwank. Pretty low-hanging fruit. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah.

One of the more wholesome ones, there was an Afghani refugee called Manure Butt. But in a moment of humanitarian decency, he was never made fun of. Right. So his name literally looks like

Manure, like Manure, and then Butt. And it was pronounced Manure Butt. But he was a cool guy. Well, he was an Afghan refugee. They were like, this lad's already been through enough.

Oh my God. Okay. So I'm trying to think of kids at school who had names that were made fun of. Let me think. You said he wasn't a cool guy. I have no idea. That's not mentioned is all I'm saying. Okay.

He could, but I'm not going to go and say that he was a cool guy because I don't know that. All I know is that they didn't make fun of him. I'm going off that. I just go based on the evidence. We had a Bronwyn at school, which, I mean, this is in Canada, in Ontario. It's a very Welsh name, Bronwyn. We'd never come across anything like it before. But anyway, her name was Bronwyn. And we used to call her Brown Wind. That's a classic. That's a classic. It's a classic. That's a classic. It must be. I don't like any of the yoga or India or river or Bodhi or something like that. Bodhi?

I don't like any of those types of names. Right, but we're not talking about names that you like. We're saying names that kids at your school had that were made fun of. Oh. Like Brown Wind. Yeah. I don't think we had many- Neville fun of. Oh. Like Brown Wind. Yeah. I don't think we had many- Neville Longbottom.

I mean, my last name- Steve Woodcock. Obviously, my name Forsyth meant, oh, good game, good game. Got Bruce Forsyth impressions all the time. Oh, I see. But that was not too bad. Trying to think of kids with really- there was a kid whose last name sounded like a vegetable, like a root vegetable

so we made fun of him but he turned out to be the biggest bully in the year and kicked all our asses and you're still scared of telling us his name yeah i'm not gonna say his name james potato it was not james potato but it was he arrived at the school in the second year and he wasn't there in the first year second year and oh no no this was the first sorry this was the first year what here's what he did all of us made fun of his name tony carrot tony carrot all of us make fun of his name and one lunchtime he got his brother he sounds like a bbc i'll stop telling this story michael sweet potato that's right you just want to say tony carrot over and over again fucking fucking idiot. Sorry, start again.

Sorry, so he joined in the second year or some shit, whatever. Here we go. Lewis's trip to Centre Parcs. I'll keep it brief. No, I want to hear this story now. I want to hear it too. No, you guys, you don't want to hear this story. You don't want to hear this story. It's not worth telling now. It's not going to live up to it.

The letters, we're going to get so many letters about this now. On a recent episode of Triforce, Lewis detailed going to centre parks. Regale the public ship centre parks. One part that stood out was that he said he went on the Lazy River 200 times. Right. They calculated that

this means that at an average of two and a half minutes per cycle, you would have had to have been on the Lazy River for eight hours and 20 minutes. That's possible. Actually, I feel like i've been on that long easily in one session exaggeration but over the course of the week probably yeah over the course of a week that's not actually at all impossible like that's very doable there's not much else there yeah that's it you go on for hours especially if you got kids who are like the minute you started the course they're like can we go on again? Like, you know you're going to be on there for eight hours, probably. Also, the lazy river is quite a short one, actually.

And it was so cold outside that it was like, as soon as you got out of it, you were like, the nearest place to get back into the water was to go back on the lazy river. So you ended up like- Did you ever get a face full of ass when you were on that? Because, you know, like people are constantly bashing into each other and stuff. Like, you know, like- It wasn't that busy, actually. They don't wait, it's their turn. of ass when you were on that? Because people are constantly bashing into each other and stuff. Well, it wasn't that busy, actually. They don't wait, their turn.

There was hardly anyone on it, really. So it wasn't too bad. Unfortunately. You could have. Unfortunately, did not get a face full of ass. You could have had a face full of ass, there. I remain hopeful. Yeah. This is an email about your new age escapades, Lewis. I feel like as someone who grew up around a lot of yoga heads and spiritual people,

as well as someone who did drama as one of my A-level subjects, I may be able to shed some light on Lewis's experience with the earth ritual. The thing with imagining a body part and the sound it would make if it could vocalize is a common technique used by actors, both in warming up and for expression. It's used to loosen up the vocal cords and break down nervous barriers. whole point of it is it's slightly ridiculous as you know kind of uh you know prepares you for what might be even more ridiculous in the performance that you have to do um during a performance many actors find focusing on a body part and directing their voice through it to be a useful tool and characterization apparently the answer auntie donna you know

auntie donna you heard of that podcast oh yeah yeah i love them they talk about it a lot on that so um as far as uh the question makes sense i think you it is about doing it's like doing something communally awkward yeah that you there is a lot of this in in various other situations to make everyone comfortable and i think when you're looking in from the outside sometimes it can seem very ludicrous like um like those people who do the forced laughter or whatever you know if you just capture that it feels super weird but i think you could do that easily as a team building exercise that's to just if everyone knows it's not serious um it's it's quite good to yeah it breaks down a bit less it does loose definitely definitely definitely and i think as well i think, I think if you guys have to,

if a group of people all have to do something embarrassing one at a time, I think that builds empathy because you're like, well, I know we look stupid, but I know I'm going to look stupid in a minute as well. And we're all going to have to do this. So it almost builds a kind of camaraderie where you're all like, we're all in this together acting like idiots. I've done things like that where you break down, you know, sort of barriers of sort of everybody's very stiff especially british

people sort of like oh hello hello and then once you start acting a fool a bit everybody kind of relaxes so i can see where that's important um so here's a as to the question sips and flash asked about whether this helped the other people in the ritual i'd say that's asking the wrong question most people attending except lewis and that one woman were there to experience something meditative having done lots of yoga and strange new activities and rituals um the common thread with most of these is that one tends to emerge from them feeling extremely refreshed so did you not feel refreshed lulu uh no well okay well so if not refreshed then how did you feel i uh felt fine i think it was it was a it was a nice day out it was something different that's always nice you know it's it's nice it is nice to it felt like i'd been to a botanical garden

or something i had a nice walk around with some nice people and some nice experience you know i saw some things it was nice like it was do you mean it was like you've been somewhere you hadn't been before i wouldn't i wouldn't do it regularly like or go maybe ever go again jimmy but like i i like personally doing something i've never done and so that to me is is entertainment enough right i think i think like i said you should be commended for doing something unusual and you so you're good shout thank you this is uh this is um from jack who's emailed in many times uh hoping for some relationship advice uh, and this is their wording, the two

happily married men. Wait till you hear. From the two happily married men and the minge magnet himself, Lewis. That's the new title, minge magnet that he's given to you. Unfortunately, I'm polarized to their

same polarity as their minge, so I drive them away. Yes, I'm polarized to them, the same polarity as their minge. So I drive them away. Yes. I recently got engaged to my fiance. I repel all women. She is beautiful, funny, and caring. But last night, I discovered something about her. I'm not sure I can go ahead with the wedding.

Was hoping for some of your advice. Oh, my God. Okay. Is this a serious email? It doesn't sound like it. We were watching television, and James Corden came on screen. Oh, okay. Is this a serious email? It doesn't sound like it. We were watching television and James Corden came on screen. Oh no. I groaned and she defended him, describing him as funny and saying how much she likes

James Corden. Even typing this out, I feel sick. My fiance likes James Corden. What do I do? Do I just escape in the middle of the night or should I speak to her about this and hope she eventually becomes rational? This is a tough one. I feel like it's a journey, right? I think just leave it and see what happens because

I don't think anybody can long-term like James Corden. I think he's probably charming enough for you to think momentarily that you like him, but just give it time and I think she'll ditch him. That's my advice. I don't think anybody, I don't think James Corden has staying power with people. You know what I mean? I don't think he is charming at all. I think every time I see him, he makes me feel like I'm going to be sick.

Yeah, but that's because you know him, right? Like you're aware of him and already hate him. But she's aware of him. She's like, oh, I like James Corden. Like she's seen enough of james corden to form an opinion this wasn't the first time she'd seen james corden i think he's thinking about this all wrong okay i think that means she has terrible terribly low standards which means

that she's not leaving you right you know she is yeah you are even you're probably uh fucking brad pitt to james corden right everyone is so so like you do you know i mean like she is this is a good thing all right just think of it like that i don't i don't i i would be honest with you if it was early on in a relationship early enough on and i think to me it's a deal breaker really no yeah you've got to understand people don't know like people don't know that other people on tv are awful like people don't know that other that people on TV are awful like I can't watch stuff

with certain celebrities in because I know things about them and it just hasn't come out yet it feels like no it's not even that it's not even who he is

behind it's here's the thing if you can look at James Corden on television and not immediately be repulsed my concern is

what else are you into that is a four way lots of people like Ant and Dec and all this other crap because they don't they don't care like they don't even think enough to worry about no um she probably likes mrs brown's boys i think in fact that would be more mrs brown's boys james corden a few other things that yeah we need more in the case of terrible taste and then see if you could handle it because if it turns out that her Saturday night viewing-

Does she watch The Apprentice? Right, exactly. That could be an interesting one too. That could be another red flag. You need to get a list of things that she's pro and anti in terms of light entertainment. Yeah, I think you can get the green flag list. Like if she likes Always Sunny and Curb and other things.

But I think just write a list of for and against this marriage and just see if the fours outweigh the James Corden thing. I mean, you could write that one on there as like times five. It's a serious red flag. But my man, you'll be all right. It's the worst things in the world. Get the hell out of there. I think there is worse things in the world

honestly taking a shit in a show home toilet finding a shit in a coffee cup underneath a centre park's bed could be up there too it could be a pretty bad one there's a red flag go to an escape room with her and she keeps

disappearing off with your friend's your friend's partner and then she comes back into the escape room with her and she keeps disappearing off with your friend's partner. Yeah, and then she comes back into the escape room and she's pregnant. That's a red flag as well. You need to watch out for stuff like that. And then the police turn up. And then the police, yes. Because they've called the police on the phone.

On the perpetrator, yeah. Yeah, they phoned on the police to let them know. Anyway, thanks for writing in and good luck. Good luck with Anyway, thanks for writing in, and good luck with that. Good luck with your marriage. Good luck with that. Good luck with that. Yeah. So, this is from Twan.

In Mailbag 27, while explaining an Instagram reel about scowling Germans, Lewis used the phrase, resting bitch face. Yes. This absolutely grinds my gears right right i am not blaming lewis for saying it wrong at least half the world's population is mixing this up the correct phrase is bitchy resting face bitchy resting face when your face is resting it's also looking bitchy right if you say resting bitch face you're implying that someone has a permanent bitch face which at this moment simply happens to be in a resting state lots of love from the netherlands i think i think this is this okay

some people don't smile very much and aren't very visual like aren't very much aren't like very dramatic with their face facial movements right and those people who you see their ordinary face more look um just look less bitchy just see what i mean like whereas if you've got someone who's really outgoing and smiley all the time um and then you see them just looking normal looking busy looking working they automatically look more bitchy right so i think it's a it's a symptom of how outgoing that person is to start with whether or not their normal face looks bitchy do you know what i mean uh bitchy resting face makes more sense to me. Bitchy resting face I think actually sounds better too. Some people do have like, naturally a bit of a turned down mouth when they are resting.

Do you know what I mean? Some people have a- That's a face like a smacked arse though, that's the term for that one. Yeah, an ugly expression when they're resting. But I think a lot of people have like quite cool resting face. Yeah. You know, I think a lot of people- Like Clint Eastwood, on the topic of Clint Eastwood.

He's got that like, you know, you can't- you look at his face and he's like wincing a bit, looks like the sun is always in his eyes. Yeah. He's got his mouth just slightly open and you just think, is this guy shitting his pants or- Yeah. Resting bitch face doesn't mean resting ugly face it sort of means or ugly resting face it means like sometimes that's cool a lot of people go for that

look you know a lot of people don't smile on purpose see i think i think stallone has an incredible bitchy resting face he just his face looks like he's gurning all the time. He just looks like- It's all the fucking growth hormones. It must be, yeah. But he looks like- He actually just kind of looks like he's in pain all the time. Like he has that look about him.

Yeah. This is from a naval nuclear mechanic. Wow. This is a lad on a submarine. Sure. Been a long time listener since the Yodport episodes. This lad works in the American Navy. While we're going through the pipeline of study and undergoing our sea

duty, we have about 14 to 16 hour days, seven days a week during their qualifications. When you become qualified on your boat, then your days turn into eight hours of standing watch and eight hours of maintenance while the ship is underway. The food is decent, a lot less people to cook for than a carrier, so it's easier for culinary specialists to make the food better um and they said it's pretty good and apparently this lad's favorite was shepherd's pie get shepherd's pie on there options for exercise is limited to minimize noise but my bow had some kettlebells and a smith machine whatever that is but for the most part we're doing push-ups and pull-ups every so often on watch the reactor works by taking a hot rock that's the the fuel, we know what fucking nuclear rods

are- making steam and using the steam to spin the electric turbine. Yeah, we know! Well, he then says hot rock makes sparky spark roundy roundy. We're not idiots! We are. We're not complete idiots. Thank you for that. Thank you for breaking it down for us.

Well, it's not rocket science, is it? No, it's nuclear science. The culture of navy nukes is pretty strange, ranging from people getting nuke-specific tattoos to body pillows of Admiral Hyman G. Rickover, who is the father of the nuclear navy. That's utterly bizarre. Lots of people, they D&D and magic the gathering, but for the most part, we just watch movies while underway.

Sleeping arrangements are four bunks stacked vertically, each with a curtain and a small locker. There are occasions where people need to hot rack, once he gets up from his shift someone coming off there will take his rack submarines are a lot bigger than you expect three stories tall and very long however there's nowhere to hide because you're never very far from another person um so yeah it sounds terrible i don't think i'd ever go on board a submarine again i went on board one in turkey at a naval museum or a military museum there they had a turkish submarine you could go on board it was tiny it was cramped and as soon as i got on i realized i really shouldn't have done this because i really do get claustrophobic yeah and i did the

tour and i was like what the fuck was i thinking i got out of there as quick as i could suffice it to say those little submarines are unbearable i think people you would have to be a very special kind of person i wouldn't want to eat like the one that went down to look at the titanic and stuff there's no way i could ever oh no way it's just impossible i would be crying i would be shitting i'd be farting i would be i i would be a total wreck and i would not enjoy a single second of it either i i know this of myself so you know i was watching um uh for all mankind that tv series apple tv series uh the premise for it is the americans weren't first to the moon the russians were that's the first episode yeah opening scene yeah the russians are on the moon and therefore

the space that's fucking bullshit that's why i won't watch that uh why i'm just joking oh i see oh it's good no it's really good yeah um but one of the things is you know later on there's like a space hotel and i was watching it last night with mrs f she's like would you ever go on one of those i was like no you know i don't know if i would because even though looking out the window you can see earth and it feels like there's a lot of space around you it is essentially just a submarine in space yes but at least it's very cramped yeah i don't know though it feels like i feel like in space i wouldn't be as worried i would be worried don't get me wrong i'd be shitting myself but not as much as i would

be underwater because i i feel like yeah i know if i go out into space i'm not going to be able to breathe but um i don't know i just feel like not being able to breathe underwater would be a lot worse somehow like more like more scary and it's like so dark down there too right like you wouldn't have um you wouldn't be able to see anything whereas at least in space you can actually just see the earth you know like and you would just die looking at this big bright earth and like other crap in space whereas underwater you you would you would die immediately and uh it would be so dark and it would just be miserable. It is kind of fascinating that there's like 150 nuclear powered naval ships.

That is actually kind of amazing. Scary. That's what it is. Pretty scary. And honestly, I wonder why... Obviously, they've never had to be destroyed in a war. Do you know what I mean? But imagine the contamination of that sort of thing happening.

I mean, in a sense, this is one of those things that I always think of when I think of one of these great filters of how we can destroy ourselves and other races might have destroyed themselves.

Getting into a war, even if you don't find nuclear weapons, just destroying a bunch of these fucking nuclear submarines and contaminating vast areas of the planet. It's so frightening.

And how we haven't managed to have any accidents either, there's no nuclear submarine accidents, we will. That's why we're very careful about who we vote to get behind the button and give the codes to, you know? Because otherwise we'd be so scared to think that somebody could spark off a big nuclear war. Yeah. So a complete change of topic.

This is something we discussed actually on the regular Trials, which we recorded yesterday, which is about age gaps between men and women. So this is on the topic of old men dating young women. I thought you might find the attached graphs interesting. This is data from OKCupid. Right. Men of all ages will always find 20-ish year old women the most attractive. Yeah. Whereas women will typically find men around their age most attractive.

Right. So I'm going to describe the graph for listeners at home. You guys can imagine that the Y-axis is ages from 20 to 50. There's no x-axis. And then there is just a line showing the sort of a median line between the two and women's age versus the age of men look best to her. And basically, if you can imagine that it's always going up. So a woman aged 38 generally finds men around 37, 42, 39, 48, around 40, 49, 45. So it's all very similar. And and then the men's graph same plot from the ages of 20 to 50 the oldest that they are going for is 24 at all ages and men between 28 and 36 it just

says 20 in a straight line all of them 20 20 20 20 so basically uh you know men apparently super attracted to women who are 20 20 year old women is that genetic or cultural is this something which is built into us or is this something which is which is made to honestly it's probably a bit of both right there's probably some prehistoric thing in uh in in men to um you know identify somebody somebody like a mating partner that is potentially more fertile or something like that. You know what I mean? Because I think that 20 year old is likely to be able to have kids. Yeah, because that shit exists in the animal kingdom as well.

Right. They they kind of know who who they're going for. I live in the animal. Having said that though i think animals just fuck anything that they can like no some of them make for life some of them do yeah those toucans yeah uh that was very that was a good episode like on uh like on clarkson's farm you know when they're doing the sheep stuff and the and the woman the uh the shepherd uh woman is saying basically the guys will just just want to have sex all the time because they're just full of like testosterone and everything from their balls. Of course.

Giant balls. And if they can't have sex with female sheep, they'll just try to have sex with each other. She said very rarely female sheep will try to have sex with each other. She said very rarely female sheep will try to have sex with each other. But yeah, I think they just pretty much don't know what they're doing. Yeah. Which, you know... Or they know they're just all about one thing. Yeah, I guess. So do women still go younger though?

No, only by a tiny bit. And in some cases, exactly the same. In some cases, one year over. Because obviously it's a sample, right? So, I mean, they're literally just taking what age, you know, do you find most attractive sort of thing? So it's not like they've asked every woman. So I need to say that I'm 22 when I'm on a dating site. Yeah, ideally. No, no, you need to look at, well, no.

So whatever age of woman you're after, you need to match that age. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So if you're after a 22 year old, but apparently, you know, I guess women in general, when they're younger, only really want younger guys of their age. So these guys who are like 50, who are after a 20 year old, I mean, you know, we're animals really, men, we're disgusting. So fair enough. This is a, let's end on this one.

This is a kind of discussion we could go on. I'm not going to read the whole email cause it's sort of all over the place, but the question it asks is quite interesting. Um, this, this lad is saying that they were quite toxic when they played video games when they were younger and they kind of look back on it and they're kind of ashamed of that fact as three individuals,

well-versed in the gaming sphere. Uh, would you be comfortable leaving your children to play games like Dota or Call of Duty or something like that for a sizable chunk of their formative years when indeed they might themselves be acting in a very toxic way online? And is that like a positive thing? Should we have more oversight on them while they're doing that? I would if my son, the thing is like my and I'm sure your daughters as well, Flex, Flax, when they're playing games, they're around us. Like, we can hear everything that they're saying.

We know who they're with online and stuff. So, the minute he started being toxic, we would just say, all right, it's time to come off. Right. We wouldn't just leave him to fester in some pit of toxicity because, I mean, we've all been fucking annoyed playing games and uh and salty and stuff like that and actually just having somebody say to you maybe it's just time to like take a break and do something else or whatever is a good thing you know like it can only only be helpful so i think uh i think if my i wouldn't really want to have my my son to have a chance to go down that road i know i can't be on him all the time and police him all the time,

but certainly while he's young, we can get him into good habits around balancing his time and his interests and stuff so that he's not just doing one thing where he gets to the point where he's so annoyed that he's being toxic or whatever. You know what I mean? We kind of want to teach him to do other stuff and balance it out. This is all well and good.

I think I obviously never really agreed with the video games make people violent in the same way that I think the drama of the 90s was sort of that. But I think that some video games do affect you and make you toxic they make you play far beyond where you would normally want to play right well they change your psychology too i think something um something that like dota and league of legends they are the way you have to interact with people and the way that the systems that make you play the game

actually are negative, I think, compared to something like Stardew Valley where you're working together to produce something. I think with Dota, and I think it makes it worse with a game like Dota, honestly, is that you can get really annoyed with yourself whilst playing dota but because the games are long you have to sit there and kind of um be punished by your mistakes for a long time until the game is done and then the the whole process of okay i'll do better next time i'm gonna join a game again and lock myself into another hour where probably i will fuck up and get annoyed with myself and just be miserable until the game is over

again and then you just repeat the cycle and it gets worse and worse and worse like you can see how easily it would happen in a game like dota right yeah compared to other games where you fuck up the game's over you know and you could ah, you know, I haven't had to just sit there and be, you know, reminded of how bad I am or whatever for a long time. It's over. Now I can make a choice while I still have some rationality left in me to quit and move on, do something else or, you know, try again whatever and and try not to get so angry or whatever i think i think the type of game that you're playing really uh can fuck you over as well you know and dota specifically i think is the worst for that because dota i mean i've played enough dota flex you've played a shit ton of dota yeah dota is uh something that you have to have the patience to for to play and it is the ragiest game i mean there's a it turns people into fucking monsters like people you've never met before will call

you every fucking name under the sun normally because they're playing badly you know what i mean like it's not you know yeah okay sure if you fuck up a little bit and somebody calls you out on it but like this is like extreme right like uh yeah and i i'm sure that these people would never behave this way uh in real life around other people and if they did well hopefully they just like end up in jail or whatever but you know what i mean like it is really it can be very very toxic and i think i think having think having some sense of balance around some of this stuff is pretty helpful. So, I think if you have young kids, you can start teaching them stuff like that early on so that hopefully they don't just become big fucking miserable ragers when they're older, you know?

Yeah. Well, there you go. Some wise words from Sip. Yeah. I should take my own advice sometimes, actually. But there you go. It's nice to have that view on it. Yeah. I should take my own advice sometimes, actually. But there you go. It's nice to have that view on it. But if only you could apply it to yourself sometimes, right?

Yeah. I mean, my eldest plays games, but I've noticed that she plays with her mates and they're all on Discord. They just play together. She doesn't just play with random. Yeah. I think a big part of it is the anonymity, obviously, of the internet has always made people into dickheads.

Yeah. And you know what? Look, don't feel too bad about yourself, Mr. E-mailer, because the fact that you were able to look back and think that was bad has in some way been formative. Because you've looked back at that behavior and not thought, man, it was really fun being a complete twat to people. You're like, oh shit, I'm kind of ashamed of that. And I definitely have that about ways that I was in the past online

or games that I played. I was like, man, I was kind of an insufferable prick, like even more than now. So it's good to look back and I think, in a way, making mistakes is part of growing as a human being. I think a lot of these games like Dota have this forced competitiveness built into them and that that's

partly how they hook you into playing them because they you know you start in gold league you know gold league is the lowest league kind of thing like it's a classic trick to make you feel like you're better at something as and that will keep you playing when people like to do things they think they're good at and i think that as a result you your format changes from playing for fun to playing competitively yeah and it becomes very serious very quick you know it doesn't look like anyone who's playing chess is really enjoying it um just you see i mean it's so competitive so thoughtful so much is on the line it's so serious and i think gaming isn't supposed to be there no no and i think like another thing you can do it sounds boring and a lot of people can't do it but like limit yourself to like you know if you want to play dota just say to yourself i'm

only playing two games today regardless of how they go just two and and you you you will probably be a lot less toxic because your your your time playing will be a lot less and you'll you know if you're doing other stuff as well you'll start to realize hang on it's not the be all end all i'm doing it just to have fun especially if you can play with friends or whatever just like play limit yourself to a game or two and then do something else you know i mean like uh agreed you're not gonna get any better caning it playing 13 hours a day and just being miserable doing it right i've been horrible too Yeah, yeah. It is probably better to just limit yourself and have like a healthier relationship with it.

Well, that's your mailbag. Very serious. Well, it's nice to end on a point where, you know, people can maybe learn something from an esteemed gamer like us. Yeah, let us know your letters, your thoughts. We're interested to read about your lives and hear about your interests. I'm a trained psychologist as well

so I don't mind helping out where I can. Free to charge as well. If you have an interesting story or something you don't need to ask me, would you like to hear this interesting story? Just email it. Because otherwise it's like, sometimes I'll not reply. Because I don't check the mailbag every day. I won't reply in time for the mailbag episode and then i miss your

interesting story and then it maybe gets lost in the shuffle so if you think you've got an interesting story send it in but remember keep it brief keep it brief keep it keep it secret keep it safe keep it secret and safe and brief all right thanks everyone we love you