Triforce! - Triforce! Mailbag Special #39: Doctors vs Triforce

Episode Date: October 9, 2024

Triforce Mailbag Special 39! We have a health and safety warning from the Jelq masters, Lewis makes the mistake of revealling he wears "bare foot shoes", we ask if we would want to hear bad news while on holiday and we recieve a ton of mail from Doctors ready to dispute our misinformation! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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grab a copy at a reduced launch price. There you go, holy gosh darn. It's funny, classic, you will enjoy it, I enjoyed it. And thank you very much for sponsoring this. On with the show. Hello chums! Well wishes, hangers on, and hate watch watches. And welcome to the Triforce Mailbag with me, Lewis Brindley with me. Mailbag. No, yes. Oh, yeah. Mailbag is not the normal one.

You got to do the song. Yeah. Well, I don't have a bag. No songs this week. No songs this week. No songs this week. Aww. No, sorry. I was joining in, I was getting ready. Let's get mail back.

Let's get mail back. Alright. Mail maaaail. I've got the mail. Well, not really. I was thinking this morning. Wait, you're not the mail maestro. I know, but I don't know whether we should talk about this, because it's interesting. Did you see... Alright, alright.

Did you see the latest from YouTube people? So some of the biggest cunts in the world, Logan Paul, KSI, and MrBeast, have launched a children's unhealthy food lunch, which does not contain lead, apparently. Is that a guarantee? Well, so DadTDM of course, everyone's mom's favourite Minecrafter. My kids used to love him. My son is a big fan as well. I mean, we cut away from the same era.

Well, not really. My son is such a big fan, sorry to interrupt. Do you know how he said one day, he was like, oh man, DanTDM is so good, and he seems so happy. You know, him and his wife, they just seem so so happy together and they've got children and he's rich and everything. And I'm just sitting there like, geez, thanks. You know, like, uh, I know I'm not as big as Dan TDM and probably never will be, but, you know, come on. I mean, like, uh,

you can't just say that about somebody else who does the exact same thing as we have some loyalty, right? Like he could just turn around and be like, uh, dad, I think you're the best, you know, but no. It's DanTDM. So you're right. It's everyone's mum's favourite YouTuber. I think we've met. And honestly, he was a lovely, lovely boy. A lovely man. And, you know what, he came out and said, what's going on with YouTubers, man? Like, I think he just saw the advert for this Lunchables thing, which is basically Prime and some biscuits.

It's like sugar and salt. But then again, the cycle- Sounds good to me. It's always been the way, right? If I was a kid, that's what I would've wanted for my lunchbox. I don't want apple slices or- I used to have a Pepsi in my lunch, I don't think you're allowed that anymore. I mean, it's all-

I remember, distinctly remember going to school with a Pepsi, a can of Pepsi in my lunch. I don't think you're allowed that anymore. I mean, it's all... I remember distinctly remember going to school with a Pepsi, a can of Pepsi in my lunch and other stuff too. But a can of Pepsi was like, you know... It's called Lunchly. Lunchly. It's called Lunchly. That's right. It's, it's the latest, you know, there was like, they always go in cycles, right? There's like Madison's Fridge Raiders, which are basically just sausages. Spoken about them in an old episode. Disgusting.

Oh, I need some reconstituted meat! I'm a man and I'm hungry! Where's my meat? Where's my meat? I'm pretty sure my daughter, before she was sick in our car on our vacation, was eating those as well. Could just be coincidence, but... I think it's a...

Marked it at kids. and it's branded at kids. And obviously, these guys, as we know, a lot of the audience for YouTubers is kids, right? It was our audience back in the day, you know, we were making videos for kids, I didn't realise it. But I think these three do realise it. I get what, like Logan Paul replied to lots of things, but he was like, I think he said... Yeah, we built our brands, creating content and stuff, and now we want to start businesses. And I didn't see anyone complaining when they found lead in Lunchables, or something like that. Yeah.

But they found some lead in one of the Prime energy drinks, ironically. I mean, I don't know how much, or the details, but I do know that in America, I think, is it the FDA that has set the rules about how much of each kind of thing you are allowed to have in your products? The tolerance levels that they permit are pretty high. Like, you can have like 10 locusts in a jar of peanut butter, no problemo. Yes. It's called insect parts, actually. But it's not even just insects. It's all kinds of shit.

Oh, god. It's frightening. Anyway, um, like, ant dicks. You're saying to me there might be ant dicks in my peanut butter? You can have like up to 60,000 ant dicks in your peanut butter. Yeah, I know. Not many. Just, no fewer than a dozen. You can have up to 60,000 antics in your peanut butter. Not many, just no fewer than a dozen.

I just wondered what you guys thought, because it's the world we live in now. What are you thinking of going into a Lunchables? Yogs Lunchables? You're asking a 45 year old man and a 48 year old man what we think about the state of the world in general. I guess it was always like this. It's a goddamn disgrace! It was always like this. It's a goddamn disgrace! It was always like this.

I can't believe people raise kids in this fucking crazy world. It's a hellscape! It's a hellscape! I'm going to yell at clouds in a second. Exactly. Good point. We're not allowed to have an opinion once you get to our age, or you sound like a boomer. No fair.

Alright, let's crack on with the emails. This is an email from a doctor! It's called Saturday Night Palsy. Okay, Palsy spelled P-A-L-S-Y for anyone wondering. Right. And this is a two-parter. I love the way he's broken it down. Eyeballs.

The lad that said he had his eyes removed and put back in his head, mailbag 36, is unfortunately mistaken. The optic nerve is physically attached to the back of the eye. The retina, which detects light, is practically considered an extension of the brain. If it was detached, the eye would be non-functional due to non-working nerves. And there is the minor issue of the ophthalmic artery also likely being severed. Strabismus surgery is actually fairly non-invasive, but pretty cool. The extraocular muscles are impaired so you disconnect or reconnect the opposite side to counteract a weak or overactive

side. They're all attached to the outside of the globe, so the eye most certainly stays in your head. Thank you. And I'm sure that this guy is actually a doctor, but at the same time, this could just be a bit like, you know, when you say like, well, if you just recalibrate the flux capacitor with 10 dilithium crystals, and you carry the three, of course, infinitely, you'll arrive at the same conclusion, doctor. You know what I mean? It does sound like somebody who's just read a bunch of big words on Wikipedia or whatever. Which one of the Kim and Aggy has their eyes popping out?

Kim. Because they need that. She hasn't got a true business. They were popping back in. She hasn't got a true business. She just can't believe the amount of dust from the back of this cupboard. I dispute this email. I've seen some eye popping people. Arnold Schwarzenegger, when he goes to Mars in total recall, might need it as well.

Well, hold your dismissal, Lulu, until the second part. Saturday Night Palsy. In Mailbag 38, you had a quick chat about potential nerve damage from having limbs in awkward positions while sleeping. The general term is compressive neuropathy, but has colloquial term of Saturday Night Palsy. Falling asleep in a chair after a night out, with the upper limb compressed resulting in dysfunction of the radial nerve. Usually this is temporary as the nerve will slowly regain function over minutes to hours but axonal injury may take days or even weeks to repair. If the compression is strong enough over enough time, hours, the tiny individual nerve fibers can die and permanent damage may be sustained.

This is more common with severe intoxication or substance overdose. It is also a risk after a fall in the elderly or physically challenged, who may be unable to move for hours at a time without help. Sorry for the dark turn, but that's how life is sometimes. Kind regards, please get me anonymous, a doctor. Interesting. I wonder if I've done permanent nerve damage. The thing is, I didn't have the added benefit of being intoxicated or being off my tits on substances, which, if I was gonna damage nerves, I would go back in time and make sure that I was one of the two, at least to have some fun leading up to the permanent nerve damage. The thing is, my dick is so big that I fall asleep on it all the time. And I wake up and my dick is like a big old numb, just...

Penis. Fleshy... Yes. Yeah, you know, I mean, I just put it in my pocket and move on with my day. It's like one of those squishmallows the kids love. Yes. A squishmallow. A squishmallow.

I think I know what you're talking about. That's exactly like mine, but imagine like one little piece of blue tack. Oh, alright. Okay. Have you heard of jelking? Um, god, jelking? Yeah, you get your cock and you flatten it out with like a book or something. What the fuck?

And you keep doing this, you keep doing this, and it causes it to apparently get bigger, but obviously only one dimension. Like it doesn't- How flat are you? You're flat in that fucker. You're like a rolling pin. You're trying to get it, you're jel-kicking it. You're pushing it down.

That would hurt. Yeah, I know. I learned about this last week. It sounds revolting and dangerous. Don't be doing it. Don't Google it either, I would assume. I guess people just don't like like, just jack off normally anymore. Just fucking just have a wank and move on, exactly.

We just, you know what I mean? Jelking. J-E-L-Q. How to jelk. No, don't. We don't want to spread misinformation. It's just on Healthline.com. What?! Yeah, it says- Go to your doctor and ask, see if the doctor has any tips. Does it work?

The short answer, not really, but maybe. Doctor, I'm looking for a way to flatten out my penis. I want to slide it in a mailbox. I want it to be like a pancake. So there are apparently, yeah, lots of reviews say no significant effects on length or girth, however larger studies are needed. It could cause problems. Don't jelk, guys, however larger studies are needed. Could cause problems.

Don't jelk, guys, it's not worth it. Any of this penis enlargement shit, just learn to give good head instead. There you go. Job done. Just learn to live with your cock. Like, it doesn't matter how big or small it is, or, you know, whatever. It is what it is. It's not worth damaging your cock, for the sake of...

Don't damage your body. Trying to get a bigger hog. It's not gonna work. Even if you got a piglet, jelking won't make it a hog. That's the way it is. Also, like, I get it, like, you're... I guess, like, what kind of scenario is there where you think, man, I've gotta have a bigger cock, right? Like, what kind of scenario is there where you think, man, I've gotta have a bigger cock. If you wanted to do your career as a porn star, I guess, or if you really were desperate for that, or maybe if your wife, if your woman, left you, was gonna leave you and say, look, your cock's too small, you're gonna have to do something about it or I'm gonna leave you. Right?

When's that ever happened? There's gotta be someone out there who will appreciate your small cock though. You know what I mean? Exactly. Someone who might be like, oh you joked yourself way too much. It's all flat now. Like a, one of them, a dime bar or whatever. You know, what's it called?

Uh, what's that really flat, chewy... A dime bar? My joked up penis? Anyway, let's move on, sorry. Alright, let's move on. Fuck, I've lost the email, because you made me distracted. Alright, here we go. Jelkings.

When did you hear about Jelkings? Oh, a buddy of mine told me about it. Right. Okay, right. You got a little Saturday night jelk crew. At the pub. No, no, this was at the after party. At a funeral?

No. Hey, guess what? Guess what I heard about. You ever heard about joking? Just as they're lowering the body into the ground. You want to make your penis flat like a pancake? If you put your cock under that carpet it would crush it flat. Jesus Christ.

All right, I have never listened to podcasts until the last month. We've been going on some long journeys and I finally gave in to my husband and listened to Triforce. Oh no. I may have married a gamer nerd, but I am not in that lifestyle. However, I have to say, I got into you guys and I'm happy to have finally lost my podcast virginity. Wow.

Not having any knowledge of you guys, I had to build a picture of what you looked like in my head from your voices. Oh great. I've now seen some photos and have to say, it was difficult to match your voices to your faces. Well, the ones in my head anyway. Shout out to my favourite voice, Sips' super sexy voice gave me Henry Cavill in nerd glasses. Wow.

Nice. Thank you for the laughs. And another thing I can share with my husband. Thank you, Natasha. Yeah, I live in Jersey where Henry Cavill is from. I'm not actually from here. Can you send her a super sexy message, Sips? Ummm... what should I say?

You guys will have... I'm not good at these things. Just ask her to visit, promote Jersey in the Henry Cavill sexy voice. Just hope that she's having a great day and ask her what she's up to. Women love that, when you ask them. I hope you're having a great day, and what have you been up to? Also, visit Jersey! Boy, it's beautiful. And sunny for like five days out of the year

and clean beaches, too. They go to Jersey Tourist Board, fucking print that. That's the one right. Yeah. Yeah. Here's one. This isn't this is titled Addressing the Slander Against Rachel Gunn. Rachel Gunn, of course, I've done extensive research on Ray Gunn for a show I'm currently involved in, produced by my university, and I wanted to address the slander that has been circulating about Rachel Gunn.

It's honestly shocking how widespread and vicious the attacks on her have become. I'm Australian, and I thought Gunn's performance was pretty dorky and unathletic. However, it's important to note that developing original moves for a routine is common in competitive breaking. Rachel Gunn has no known ties to the WDSF or any organisations involved in the selection process. The judges who selected her were from countries other than Australia and had no familial connections to her. She is, in fact, a seasoned competitive breaker, having represented Australia in several international tournaments over the years. Despite some misleading headlines, Rachel Gunn is not widely celebrated by the Australian public. Many see her as an embarrassment and they are even called to be prosecuted for

allegedly cheating her way into the Olympics. What's particularly striking is that almost all of the hate directed at her seems to come from outside the breaking community. Stop the slander against Rachel Gunn, an innocent dork. Kind regards, James. James, thank you for the email. Thank you, James. I don't think we need to say anything else on that. That is really... No.

There we go. Can we get more emails like that, where it's just like, to the point, accuracy. You know, has he got some... I downed a gallon of Givershit and I still am not there though. Well you should try Prime Lunchables, like, is that my... Yeah, that should go in the shoe on those. That might give you the sugar you need to get your brain going. I need some of the salt and sugar kick for the day.

It's all the things a growing boy needs. Yeah. Yeah. Let's just carry on, oh my god. So, this is from Mr. Saucy Beans. I emailed a few months ago talking about ear pain from ascent and descent on flights, a topic Lulu brought up. My partner suffered terribly on our last trip to Tenerife and had really bad ear pain the entire week.

So as mentioned in my previous email, I would do a test to see if my hypothesis was correct. My theory was that if you can do the hold your nose and blow to open your airways every 10 to 15 seconds on ascent and descent, the pressure in your ears would adjust gradually rather than a big change pressure buildup. Well, we've just returned from our honeymoon as Cyprus and my hypothesis seems to be correct. My partner had no severe pain and did not have terrible pain for the entire week like she did last time. So there you go. The method works.

I do that. As soon as I feel the pressure changing, I'm popping. And then as it changes again, I'm popping. But my ears do that a lot anyway. If I'm driving and I go up a particularly steep hill, my ears will pop. So I'm kind of used to it. What way you hold your nose and you blow? Yeah, it's called the Valsalva maneuver. It's basically that.

You can just move your jaw around too. Chewing is good. It's also chewing, swallowing. If you chew gum and swallow while the cabin pressure is changing, that can relieve it as well. I always do that. I also find that if I'm engaged in any kind of transport, if it's on boat, on plane, whatever, to avoid any sense of discomfort from travel sickness, mint. I always suck some mints. Works like a charm.

I never get any kind of travel sickness as long as I have a bunch of treebore strong mints. I don't know why. I think that is the oldest man thing you've ever said. I know. I love it. It was really sweet though, it was endearing. It might work for one person, might've worked for another, be careful.

I think blowing and popping and stuff, I dunno, for me it doesn't always work, and sometimes I get these terrible fucking headaches from it, so yeah. Just be gentle with your body. Yeah, be gentle. Yeah, always be gentle. Don't be going like, hrm! Just be gentle! Yeah, yeah. Don't blow a gasket. Yeah. And move your jaw like, ah, ah, ah, ah. Yeah, be gentle. Yeah, always be gentle. Don't be going like, like just, just a gentle. Don't blow a gasket.

Yeah. And move your jaw like, I like that. Yeah. Moving your jaw is a, is a, is a pretty good one. You know exactly what I'm doing just from that noise, right? Like, oh, yeah, you're like, you, you like, yeah, like you're, the bottom, you're like doing circles with your jaw pretty much. Right.

And it will pop everything. This is from Ed. This is regarding town twinnings, which we spoke about previously. Oh my gosh, yeah, we did. I'm part of a town twinning and we're twinned with a town in Germany. Yes, it is a good excuse for a nice holiday. I'm not going to pretend it's not. But it's not all done at the taxpayers' expense, as you claim.

The twinning I'm a part of is completely privately funded. We, the members, raise funds throughout the year with all kinds of events. Quiz evenings, cake sales, at fates, raffles, etc. All the usual stuff you would find at a little bait organised by your nan. The money we raise is spent to fund the trips that our German counterparts come on when they visit us in the UK. When we visit them in Germany, everyone pays their own way there, and our trips out visiting the local tourist attractions are paid for by the Germans who fundraise in the same way we do. Just what you'd like to know, Ed. Thank you, Ed.

That's cool, actually. I like that. So it's more like a sort of friendship thing, where you fundraise to get them over and they fundraise to get you over. It's not like the council just says, oh, we've got a bit of spare budget, should we fix those potholes or should we have a Jolly to France? So fair enough, fair enough. I don't know if that's the case in all instances, but that seems to be the case in this instance.

Yours might be. And even then it feels a bit like getting the local community fundraise for your holiday. It's still the same. Imagine you live in this beautiful German town next to the mountains. There's a beautiful stream and it's just picturesqueque everything you'd expect from Germany Your wonderful locals everything and you're twinned with slough. Yeah, exactly You're gonna do fundraising so that you can visit you're never gonna leave your nice little German town Are you but cannot wait to get to? Wonderful treats you have sales

All the wonderful things, you know doubt have because of course why would you have sales amount of the Alpine. All the wonderful things, you know, doubt have because, of course, why would you have twin with us? Otherwise, you get off the plane. My God. This is I'm disgraced. Amazing. All right. This is this is a good one from Samuel. I remember working at a coffee shop and being able to steam the milk perfectly. I couldn't do coffee art. I don't even like coffee,

but boy could I get that milk silky smooth. It is an art form doing that. Some people are not good at it. And it reflects in the, in the coffee. You know, if you, you don't get the milk right, you're done. So it got Sam wondering outside of work, I eat something. So it has to be something you don't do professionally. If you had to challenge a random member of the public on the street, what mundane task do you think you'd be better than them at on average?

For example, this is such a lame task. I can flip my toothbrush out of the pot and catch it every time. Wow. My hairdresser said folding bed sheets, not clothes, just bed sheets. They're amazing at that. And an old colleague of mine said packing a shopping bag. They could do it perfectly. So these are all incredibly mundane tasks. I can pack shopping bags perfectly because I used to do that as a job when I was a teenager. I think we're going to discount that because that was a skill learned professionally. I'm really good at picking things up and manipulating things with my feet. Really?

Yes. So here's a question for you. And oftentimes actually in our house, if I drop something, I won't bend down to get it. I'll pick it up with my feet. So every time my wife is like, I don't even know how you can do that. It's amazing. I wish I could do that. I got a could do that. Can you spread the toes on your foot? Like, yes. So my wife can't write. And so she doesn't have the prehensile foot that you and I have. So she can cross your she can she cross her toes and she can't do anything like that. Wow. Her toes are basically

immobile. Okay, I can spread all my toes. I can cross my toes, I can do like, I can lift like one toe at a time and stuff. I can only do that with my big toe. I can't lift my others individually. I can do the one next to the big toe and then the other three just seem to be joined somehow. But I also, if I've dropped something that I think will fit fit in that crease my toes and the front ball of my oh yeah me too i can't open there and i'll have it to myself like a monkey i can do that i can pick up a like a sock off the floor and i can do like a if i don't wanna like bend down to pick it up from my foot i I can like throw it up in the air with my foot. Yeah, you throw a little foot toss. And catch it. Yeah. I thought it was anyone that did this shit.

I'm delighted. This is great. No, I do that. That's me. And you know what? My son can't do it. The baby, I'm not sure if she could do it, but my middle daughter also does it.

She does stuff. She can do all this feet stuff. Let me tell you something. This is evolution at work. This is a trait, a genetic trait that is handed down. Some of my youngest has the foot thing. My wife doesn't. So if this in some way made us more likely to survive in some situation, we would all have prehensile feet. Yeah. Yeah. Just saying. Well, it is especially handy when you have a baby. If you're holding a baby and you don't have hands to, you know, grab things like I can open a door with my foot whilst holding a baby and stuff. It's amazing.

Yeah, it's great. Fucking great. Go on, Lewis. Okay. So- Here he comes. Here he comes. To wade in and destroy our little foot dreams. Go on. No, I think, I don't think it's a genetic trait that some people have flexible feet. I think some people, I know someone, for example, who had to wear ballet shoes for a long time and then wore very tight heels and stuff for many years. And they just, when your feet are compressed into this locked in position for a long time, the muscles get a lot weaker and it takes a long time to rebuild

them. And so that's why trainers are very tight, going to get shoes, they're very tight around your foot, they restrict your feet, your toes from spreading out and moving, and a lot of people just don't ever use those muscles, so they atrophy, right? And if you are to start using wearing barefoot shoes, which I've recently started using, it takes a little bit of time to adjust. What? Sorry, sorry, stop, stop, stop. What the fuck are you talking about?

A barefoot shoe. Yeah, what the fuck is that? Is it like, it's got like the fucking toe holes and shit? No, no, it's not, oh my god. It's just like a shoe, except it's very open. It's like a skate shoe. It's quite low. What's a fucking skate shoe? A skate shoe, like a Vans or a DC, like a skateboarding shoe. So it's a fucking sneaker? It's a trainer? What are you talking about? Barefoot?

Well, barefoot shoes are very low to the ground, so you can kind of feel the bumps. It's supposed to imitate walking barefoot, only with a very thin... Is this the one where it's got little toes on the bottom? Some of them do, actually, yes. We're going to post a picture here, Sips. I'll pop it in the Discord. This is the shit he's talking about. You ready? Yes. This is practically the toe shoe we were talking about.

Come on. Maybe it's like this. You're not wearing shoes like this, are you? Yes, I am. Why is it called a barefoot shoe? It's a fucking shoe. Well, okay, because it's... It's like someone wearing naked clothes.

No, you're not, mate. You're wearing fucking clothes. These should be illegal, because if you commit a crime and you flee the scene, everybody's just going to be like, yeah, it was Bigfoot that did it. We can't see any signs of anyone wearing shoes here. Um, it is a real thing, by the way. A lot of people don't look after their feet. And also the trainers, they have a couple of inches of cushioning and a specific shape. You have to learn to run completely differently in these, because

the way you run in regular trainers is completely differently to how you run barefoot. Yeah, you'd have to run in these because you look like a cunt. Pfft. Are you wearing these for exercise? Have you started running or jogging or something? Just, just, just healthy. Healthy. Do one.

It's a shoe. Don't be making out like, oh, trainers are actually bad for your feet because they've got cushioning. This brings you closer to nature where your foot is more in contact with the ground. I bet it's gonna do terrible things for your arches. I'll tell you that much. You got an old person in this. You may as well kill them. They won't be able to walk anywhere. I don't know if you've noticed like older people always have really thick soles,

you know, like those white shoes that old grandmas wear. It's because it hurts. They're thick as anything. You know, you're, this has angered me. It's like two inch. They've got like a two inch sole in some cases on those. Why is that? I don't understand. You're telling me that the foot thing is because my wife has worn bad shoes her whole life,

whereas I haven't, and that's why I can spread my toes. It's possible. It doesn't make sense. My youngest does ballet. Why can she still do the thing with her toes? Why can't my wife even separate her toes? It's nothing to do with shoes, it's just genetic. I think you do see people who've, certainly ballet people, definitely complain about their

feet all the time. You'd better get some of these. Simpsons just posted in a picture of the dumbest shoe ever received. The orthopedic shoe. You need some of those. I would, and Lulu, wear those mate. I would love to see you in those. If I wear those I am getting bullied relentlessly out of school. Look at, and Lulu, wear those mate. I would love to see those. If I wear those I'm getting bullied relentlessly out of school.

Look at this, okay? Shimmie bear! So, the shoes that Lewis is talking about, these barefoot shoes, they look like those ones, they're, what do they, they're the kind of, the ones you see that are cam, not canvas, but it's like a sort of cloth top, if you like. And then a big, very elaborate sole, and you just sort of slip them on. I see all the kids wear them. Apparently they're incredibly comfortable.

I'm just fucking with you. But yes. Look at this lady's feet pouring into the top of these orthopedic shoes. ALICE Oh my god, man. It looks like somebody's tried to ram two sausages into some shoes. like, it just... WILL You know what it looks like? This is like, dinner lady leg.

This lady's got... Unbelievable. ALICE Yeah, but that's because she eats fucking prime energy refrigerators all day. That's all she eats. That's why she's like that. She's probably got like a fucking high blood pressure and she smokes 50 a day. That's a 12 year old's leg. It's big, like, swelling in your ankles and feet is usually a blood pressure thing, right? I think it's, yeah, just terrible diet on your feet, bad posture, blood pressure, bad shoes. I mean, you see you always you see the dinner ladies with like the elephant man foot that

they had. Yeah. I mean, with their foot, their the cankles and all the rest of it. Yeah. I don't know how they hobbled about, but they did. It's wild. Yeah. Oh, my mundane task is I'm very good at timing things.

So if we've got something on the hob and it's on there for like half an hour, I will get up. ALICE You know, you have an intuition how long it's been on there. RILEY Yeah, I'll get up and there'll be like a minute left. I'm like, a newt's close. Like, generally speaking, timing, estimating times, how long has passed, how long until

something, what time of day it is, for whatever reason, I'm very good at that. I don't know why. ALICE Yes. RILEY But I'm genuinely very good at it. I think mine is similar. It's like, when I wake up, even if my phone's died, or something's gone wrong, I still usually wake up at the exact time my alarm goes off. I never sleep over. I often wake up just before my alarm goes off.

Can you do the internal alarm thing too? Well, like Kramer. Well, yeah, I think. I don't remember the episode, but. It's the one with the runner and he's like, you know, I have to get up for this race. He goes, what time do you got to get up? He goes, it's 7.30. He goes, okay, it's set 7.30.

Yeah. He sets his mental alarm and of course he fucking just sweeps straight through. Yeah, I can kind of do it. Like I wouldn't rely on it. I'd always have an alarm set anyway, but I don't normally have to set an alarm because we just get woken up when we need to be up anyway and have done for like a decade plus. But on the rare occasion, like if we're, you know, we need to catch a flight or need to go do something or whatever.

And I set an alarm. I always wake up about 20 minutes before the alarm is going to go off and it doesn't matter what time it is. Like I'll like in the evening, I'll know I have to wake up at a certain time. I'll set the alarm and I'll always be up like about 20 minutes before, but I would never risk not setting an alarm just in case. So maybe you're you, maybe you can, maybe you can like your brain is there to help sometimes.

Yeah, maybe. And other times to betray you. When you really care about someone you shout it from the mountaintops. So on behalf of Desjardins insurance, I'm standing 20,000 feet above sea level to tell our clients that we really care about you. about you. Home and auto insurance personalized to your needs. Weird. I don't remember saying that part. Visit DejaDen.com slash care and get insurance that's really big on care. Did I mention that we care?

All right, let's move on. This is another email from a doctor, Dr. Ed this time. Oh, my God. So many doctors. Well, it's because we talked about medical shit. And we talked about a few things. There's no other podcast to listen to? Or maybe they just have a lot of time on their hands? They listen to many podcasts?

They just don't get it wrong as often as we do. So, yeah. I'm a doctor working in a big London hospital, right? Well done, doc. Don't fucking toot your own horn. Big fan. I usually listen when preparing for a night shift as it puts me straight to sleep. Fuck you, Dr. Red, alright? Alright, dominant testicle. We talked about the dominant testicle. There is no such thing as a dominant testicle. The testicles are asymmetrical. Usually the left one hangs lower, though there are plenty of people who have the right one hanging lower. One may also be larger than the other, like boobs. That's our point! That's why it's

the dominant one. Am I going crazy here? There are multiple theories regarding this. Are boobs the same though? Can you have one boob larger than the other like boobs. That's our point. That's why it's the dominant one. Am I going crazy here? There are multiple theories regarding this. Aren't boobs the same though? Can you have one boob bigger than the other? Oh yeah yeah yeah. That's what he's saying. One may be larger than the other like boobs. There are multiple theories regarding this, including to permit temperature control, like you suggested. Another one is that the blood flow to and from the testicles is not symmetrical. Blood comes out the left side of the heart and goes back to the right, and this may lead to very slight but noticeable asymmetry such as this. I also, we had another email about bollocks.

Lulo, I think you said, one hangs lower than the other so they don't bump into each other. That is also considered one of the possible reasons. Anyway, that's dominant. And the what? The mega ball. And the mega ball, of course. The other one was falling asleep on your arm, so he's talking about the Saturday Night Palsy again.

But now we have a new story. All right. I used to work primarily in neonatal intensive care units. Lots of sad stories, but here's a wholesome one. Slight changes for confidentiality reason. A woman in her late 30s was dropped off at A&E by her long term boyfriend on his way to the airport due to recurrent abdominal pain over several hours. The boyfriend, unfortunately, couldn't stay as he was going on a two week stag holiday. Not his stag do, just another stag holiday. Unbeknownst to the boyfriend, the A&E doctors quickly clocked that she was pregnant and

this abdominal pain was in fact labour. She was transferred immediately to the labour ward. An emergency bleep went off to the neonatologist on call, me, with room number on the labour ward. No other details get given in these bleeps and I was unaware of the events leading up to this. Ran over to the labour ward and found the room. I was stopped at the door by a midwife saying hold on, we don't know what it is yet. This confused me at the time as I had no context whatsoever. When someone who is not visibly pregnant goes into labour, there is a high chance that it is actually a miscarriage or stillbirth with no possibility of the baby being resuscitated. So this was to prevent

multiple people entering and causing chaos if what they needed was privacy and a calm environment. I was led into the room a moment later. On my left, I saw a woman on the bed crying her eyes out. In the far corner, I saw a healthy newborn baby on a resuscitare. She was so small, but appeared to be term or near term, no way of knowing for certain at that point. She wasn't crying, but was happily breathing and waving her arms around. After a quick checkup, we brought her to the very distraught new mother. I got to know the mother over the next few nights. Very lovely woman who was delighted by the surprise after she'd been able to cool off. She didn't want to name the baby until her

partner was back, and didn't want to tell him in case she ruined his holiday. I'd love to have been there when she broke the news. Best wishes, Dr. Ed. Can you imagine? Dr. Ed, that is quite the story. Just don't ruin their holiday. Don't think about it. Just tell them. You're not ruining the holiday. No, don't ruin their holiday, don't think about, just tell them. You're not ruining the holiday. Don't ruin Colin's stag do. You have to tell them straight away. You have to tell people.

You do have to. I mean, I'm gonna see the air. I wanna know. You think you're doing the best, you're like, well let him have a few days' peace, or let him have a holiday. No, two weeks! He's gonna wait for two weeks. You've gotta tell him.

That's a ridiculously long stag do. He's gotta come back. You can't wait two weeks. Two. He's got to come back. You can't wait two weeks. Two weeks? He might want to come back and see the newborn baby. Yeah. He's missing the first two weeks.

Yeah. You don't make other people's decisions for them. And you know, I get it, right? I think I've had similar events in my life where someone's had some sort of accident or something. I think it happened to my brother. When my brother had his terrible accident when he drove off the road and he was in hospital. You know, I had to, my parents had just gone on holiday, he'd actually taken them to the airport. That's when he'd had

the accident, was driving back from the airport at three in the morning. And, you know, we had to, we had that discussion. You know, do we ruin their holiday? And the answer was, you know, yes. Yes, actually. Just tell them this important information that their son is in hospital. ALICE As a parent, if something happened to my kids, I would want to know immediately.

SEAN Immediately. Regardless of where I am. ALICE I want to know the second it happens, and I'm on my way back. It doesn't matter where I am, or what I'm doing. I don't let them there. SEAN You can't make that decision themselves, right? ALICE Yep, that is for them to make. I mean, I would have questions, like, how bad is it? And if they were like, she's broken her arm, she's got a cast on the doctor, say, you know, she's going to have the cost on for about a month. Is she okay? Yeah. She's been shaking up. I'd be like, yeah,

I'd be asking these questions on the way though. I would still, I would still, if one of your kids broke their arm and it was all fine and sorted, it wasn't a major break and you were away on holiday for two weeks, you would cancel the holiday and come home. I would just in case. Well, you know, you don't know, eh? I would just feel better, you know? I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself the same anyway. I would be completely out of the... The minute I heard the news I'd be like, okay, I'm not in holiday mode anymore. There is a line where, how severe it is, right? Like, what if they had a sniffle?

Do you know what I mean? You're not coming back for that, are you? No, not a sniffle. No. What if they got the sniffle? Do you know what I mean? You're not coming back for that, are you? No, not a sniffle. No. What if they had a sniffle? Yeah, but it could be AIDS. Yeah, but I think, okay, I don't think it would... It wouldn't immediately be bad AIDS, you know? Like, there'd be some time lead up to really bad AIDS. Doctor, be honest with me.

Is it good AIDS or bad AIDS? It's bad AIDS. No, but you know what I mean? Like, something like that, it would be different. But like an accident, I would, would for sure come back for it. I would want details first. I would want details. Cause if it was like, oh, yeah, she got a bit of a scrape on her knee.

You're like, I cancel my order for a scrape on her knee. Like, come on. Like you, I give you, give me the details. There is a, there is a line. I mean, especially now. I hate these stories and you hear them more and more now and I'm sure I mention this, but you know, like, you know, people who go into the hospital with a complaint and they get sent home and then they die of sepsis or something.

You know what I mean? Are you sure you're not just thinking of the TV show House MD? No, I'm not thinking of the TV show House MD because it's, there's been a couple of cases recently where, um, you know, like NHS hospitals, doctors are being sued for malpractice because, you know, some like somebody's kid has, has died, you know, they brought them into, to A&E and the doctor said, here, just take some paracetamol. You'll be fine in, in a couple of hours or whatever. And they go home and they drop dead because they've missed the signs or whatever. So that shit is so scary.

I know. I know. And that's one of the ones like you guys are talking about. If it's just the sniffles. Yeah. Okay. Fine. Maybe it's just the sniffles, but according to who, you know what I mean? Like what if it is something more than the sniffles and you're like, yeah, well,

I'll just carry on and then they die. And you'd be like, oh shit, I can't believe they've died. And I'm on holiday. I suppose the best way to think about it, because obviously being parents, especially, you tend to have these kind of apocalyptic thoughts about things that could happen to your kids. Like I completely get that.

But I suppose the biggest question is, when has worrying about something that hasn't happened but might, in a way that is unpreventable by you, actually ever helped? Either you or that person. Never, but... I understand it feels good to sometimes worry and think, I'll just play it safe and that alleviates some of your worry, but if it essentially doesn't make any difference and wouldn't have made a difference, you're beating yourself up about something that hasn't happened because it might.

No, sure. In a vanishingly small case. It's scary to think how much we trust these people in these systems, though, as well. Yeah, but we, I mean, you know, you walk next to a road all the time. And a lot of it is... A driver could swerve off the road. We trust other people constantly. Of course, yeah. But a lot of it is swerve off the road. We trust other people. Of course. Yeah. But a lot of it is just to, um, you know, just to, just to put ourselves at ease as well, you know, because

you think that person knows what they're talking about. I trust the system. I don't need to think about it anymore or worry about it. Everything is going to be fine. And, but then what, you know, what happens when it's not fine? You do everything that you're meant to do, or you listen to all the people that you're meant to listen to, and they get it wrong. I think that's just the risks we have to take in life. Every time you put your trust in another person, you're doing just that. You're trusting that they know what they're doing, that they're right, that they're capable.

And I think we have a pretty good track record as a society of, in general, as in the vast majority of cases, the people who are in a position where you trust them to know what they're doing, know what they're doing. And yes, there are instances where things go wrong. And that must be fucking devastating. I get it. But to worry about that stuff all the time and to say, well, I don't have faith in the system because of these instances. The fact that you've heard about these cases is to me evidence that it's working because it's news. I feel like everybody's had probably a close call with some of this, especially when you have kids, right?

Because it's like I know for us, like we had my daughter had really bad, really bad in Pateigo and we took the GP and the GP said, here use this cream. It'll be it'll clear up in a couple of days. It'll be fine. And we took her home and GP and the GP said, here, use this cream. It'll be, it'll clear up in a couple of days. It'll be fine. And we took her home and we were using this cream and it wasn't really clearing up, but we thought that because we didn't know anything, we were just going by what the GP said. It was getting worse, but we, we were, we, we somehow convinced ourselves that it was

going to get worse before it got better, you know, Oh, this is maybe just part of the healing process or whatever. And then we did have to take her to A&E. You know, oh, this is maybe just part of the healing process or whatever. And then we did have to take her to A&E and the guys like, good thing you brought her, because if you'd left her any longer, she would probably have died. And we were just like, Jesus Christ, like, how come nobody gives us any information? That we, yeah, it was, you know, we were so relieved that, you know, she appeared to be in the right hands finally.

But you know what I mean? Like if we just if we just trusted what the GP said and gone blind with it, we could have potentially lost our daughter, which is now insane. I would never trust. I would never trust any of these systems or people ever again. If that I get it, I would be, you know, I would just be forever jaded like to the to the extreme. So you've had a bad experience that is essentially your, your trust.

That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. But, uh, like, again, it just, it is, it is, it's crazy how, how much we trust all of these in every aspect of society, really, when you think about it, you know, you go out, you go out to, and you walk to the shop and, you know, for, for the most part, I'm not speaking for everyone, obviously, but for the most part, you will do that without being assaulted or somebody stealing something from you or somebody, you know, witnessing some other crime or something like that. I mean, obviously it does happen to some people, but again, we're talking about this happening to people in medical or whatever.

We take a lot of this stuff for granted, right? How protected and safe and status quo everything is, but it doesn't take much for it to flip on its head, right? No, shit does go wrong. You just gotta hope that you're not the one it goes wrong for. That's pretty much life, isn't it? Shall we move on to a more upbeat story, or did you have something to add, Lulu? I think people are bad at looking after themselves, generally. Look how many people smoke, knowing how bad it is for them. And they are...

But you don't know until it's too late, right? But that one is an obvious one, right? Like, they... and it's hard, I get it, to quit smoking once you've started, like, it's an addiction, and those, by their very nature, are psychologically trapping you into needing it. But I feel like there's hundreds of, if not millions of people who are doing things that they know are bad for them, you know, and just sleepwalking through it. I think when it comes to trusting people, I think people do sometimes too easily blind trust, or want to. If you're really scared

of going to the dentist and you've had a dentist tell you to do something, and it's getting worse, you don't want to go back. You know, like, I get it. Like, I think, I think just, again... You convince yourself that because somebody told you it's going to get better, that it's somehow getting better, you don't have the knowledge, right? Exactly. And you don't want to go against these people. And look, a lot of these doctors and dentists, or whatever, are overworked, and they don't know everything. And look, a lot of these doctors and dentists or whatever are overworked and they don't know everything. And obviously, a lot of them, obviously most of them want the best for you, they're not

doing it on purpose. But you do have to consider that, like, you know, they don't know everything all the time. And you have to, you know, you're the one, at the end of the day when you go to the doctor, you're describing one, you know, at the end of the day, when you go to the doctor, you're describing your symptoms. So it's always good to turn up with a bit of your own research. Do your own research. Do your own research. Do a couple of WebMD printouts.

Try some WebMD articles printed off, you might find them interesting. Well, the thing is that actually is fine because the doctor can reassure you that it's not those things. True. Yeah, true. And talk it through. Any good doctor will talk it through with you and say, look, this is, I know this is the world we live in and why you've looked these things up, but here's the reason it's probably not this. Here's the reason it's probably not this. And that is a big part of it. Like if you are really stressed and upset about thinking you have something, just don't be scared

to fucking ask and say, look, this might sound stupid, but I think I have this. And the doctor will be like, well, it's probably not that because you'd have to have been by a mosquito or whatever dumb shit. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, and here's another, this made me think, you know, when we were talking about Tupperware, when we recorded yesterday, here's something. My mum used to work for a health centre and one of the doctors told her that this old

boy came in one time and he was complaining about something or other and he had brought a Tupperware with him and he opened it and in it was a urine sample with a turd floating in it that he'd brought. In a Tupperware like, just in case you needed this. He did the double. The doctor was like, get that out of my office right now. Doctor, I present to you a Tupperware container with every bodily fluid I can produce. It's all in there, Doc. There's saliva in there, there's urine.

Run your tests, please. I've nutted on the top as well. There's a little bit of icing. There's a bit of pus in there too, I'm pretty sure. Just shake it up, Doc, and pour it into the test thing. That is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard. Alright, sorry, Lulu. Alright, well, this will cheer you up.

This is from Hannah. So I'm going to censor at Hannah's request the name of the person involved, but just imagine that this person is a pretty famous and successful comedian. Okay. His, this person's younger brother is my age and we share a friend group. For context, his younger brother is just as funny and charismatic as he is. His brother and I briefly dated. A few dates in. So this is the brother of the famous comedian. Dated Hannah for a little while. A few dates in, we planned a picnic, but were rained out. Instead, he and my roommates transformed our living room into a park by covering the walls

with paper flowers and trees while I was at work. Very sweet. I came home to what should have been an incredibly romantic scene. The living room park was gorgeous. He cooked several vegan dishes. We were both vegan at the time. And he was sitting on a blanket with candles and a traditional picnic basket. The issue is he was also dressed head to toe as a dog. At first I laughed because I knew it was a joke and I assumed he would remove the costume for the remainder of the date. Sure. He didn't. He didn't. He spent the entire night dressed as a dog.

Apparently he didn't bring any other clothes. The costume was purchased secondhand and had a particularly odd musky smell. To make things worse, our house didn't have AC and it was a particularly hot day so he was soaking with sweat. Unfortunately, this shattered my romantic image of him. As hard as I tried, I couldn't see anything other than an awkward sweaty guy wearing a dog costume sitting on my living room floor. There were no follow-up dates. In the end, everything worked out fine. A few years later, I discovered that I'm actually

hella gay and he's currently engaged to a wonderful woman. However, this is still my go-to most awkward date story despite his very sweet intentions. Thank you. God, that is awkward. That is a hell of a story. I love that. I love that. Like, like, I, that is awkward. Hell of a story. That is a hell of a story. I love that. I love that. Like, like, I thought I was awkward.

I feel like, the thing is, up until a certain point, you can't just openly tell people, this is a disgusting stinky dog costume taken off or whatever. Right? Like, but maybe, cause you know what I mean? And you don't really even want him in his pants and undershirt, right, at an early date. You know, it's like, but after a while, you know, people can just tell each other that these things and everything gets a lot smoother. Yeah.

I wonder if it was a boy when he was like, oh, I don't have any other clothes. She's meant to say, well, you may as well take the dog costume off and then you're halfway there to seal in the deal, I guess is one strategic thing. You don't want to seal the deal with somebody who's been in a secondhand dog costume sweating profusely. Yeah, no, no, you can. You could just be like, let's get you in the shower, get this stinky dog smell off of you. Job done.

Well yeah, which is, I mean, obviously that's one thing you want to do on a date is, as a woman you want to have to bathe a man who stinks. That's 100%. She's gonna be so into women. Bathe me one. I need bathing because I've made myself smelly. Yes. Alright.

Disgusting. So, we had a mail bug recently where someone mentioned the inordinate number of scousers trying to get into glass debris. You guys remember this? Yes. So, I've had a couple of emails about it. This one says, the wristbands for glass debris. You guys remember this? Yes. So about a couple of emails about it. This one says the wristbands for glass debris are manufactured near Liverpool. So supposedly this is why so many fakes or people trying their luck come from the Merseyside area.

Many people take their designs and try to recreate them to avoid paying the £300 tickets. 300. 300. Also a lot of the security firms they use are from Liverpool and supposedly offer smuggled entry on the sly. Often, the trips to the station the previous writer mentioned end up with the guard escorting you into the festival after bunging him a couple of quid. Liverpool has a long history with Glastonbury. As far back as the 80s, the festival was under risk of being shut down completely due to

police concerns over drug and gang-related violence. This led Michael Eves, the founder of Glastonbury, to meet with the respective criminal kingpins, primarily from Birmingham and Liverpool, to organise a more peaceful way for them to sell their wares without authorities intervening, with each gang sending some heavies to keep the peace in support of the official security. These heavies could earn more money letting people through on the sly, so back in the day, when people used to charge the fence, charge the fence, the heavies were first on scene to knock them off and put the fence back up

to protect their incomes. Source for this, my girlfriend's dad, who has run a guitar a guitar store at Glastonbury for a long time and is now featured on the official Glaston map and stepmom, who is a longtime attendee, who's gotten to know the organizers through her many visits. I'm writing this because I just lost my headphones. So before a flight and I have nothing else to fill my time other than waffle words to you. So,, thank you Oscar. That is a fantastic...

That's really interesting. Yeah, really interesting. It's a great analysis. I imagine bribery is alive and well in the country. Of course. Imagine like, you're getting, how much are you getting paid to be a security guard on Glastonbury for the day? Oh, like 50 quid a day or something, I don't know, maybe 80? Probably not a lot. And so if you can get a couple hundred quid or more for letting someone in, oh my god, you can take it immediately, right?

All these people, ugh, yeah. I'm sure there's a bunch of people who want to bribe their way in, and I'm sure some rich cunts will offer thousands to get through, you know? On the day. Especially since tickets are so difficult to come by legit. Oh my god man, 300 pounds to go to Glastonbury? That's crazy. On the day. Especially since tickets are so difficult to come by legit. You know, let alone... 300 pounds to go to Glastonbury? That's crazy.

But they sell out at like 5am in like an hour. Like, yes. You know what I mean? You have to get up at 5am, on multiple days, to get tickets. It's mental. You know how much in demand it is. But people do love it. They love going every year, and they say it's amazing.

And you know, I know people who go every year and they fucking love it. Yeah, Duncan goes every year, doesn't he? Religiously. I just, I just... I've never been. I'm tempted, but I want to stay in a camper van and apparently it's quite the walk from where they park. Yeah.

So it's always put me on. I went to, I camped at the Reading Festival one year and I, but, and I went to the V Festival. I don't even know if V Festival is still going. I went to one of those as well. V Festival I went, but we didn't camp. We just turned up for the day to see the, the people that we wanted to see. I went to being camped. I went to being, wait, who was playing when you went there?

The Pixies were, it was, it was the Pixies. They, it was the first time they'd come back since they broke up in the 90s And that was like one of their one of their shows so that was but they weren't headlining It was the strokes headlining. It was like 2000. It must have been 2004 2000. So that was 2004 So, let me see the year. I was there. What year was this? the V festival, I guess it would have been 2000? B2000, who was there? The Verve, Britney Spears, one more time, Travis Mcgree, Paul Weller, Supergirl. So the year I was there Coldplay played. Oh god man. Oh it was 2003. We all skipped that.

Yeah. Like we literally were all just at the campsite. We got no interest in seeing those cunts. But yeah, it was, uh, we, I saw quite a few good things there. Uh, it was okay. It's a decent way to see like big acts outside of going to America and, or, you know, Wembley or you know what I mean? Like you can see some pretty big, some pretty big name, well, Glastonbury, especially Jesus, the really big names. ALICE Shit, Amy Winehouse played there in 2003,

I missed that. How did we miss that? JUSTIN Wow. It's weird, because VFestal happened in Chelmsford, and I never went. And I went to school there. Very strange. ALICE Really? I feel like I only went because it was a chance to see the Pixies, and I didn't know...

I mean, they're touring again this year and they've been touring. Yeah, but no Kim Deal. I saw the original lineup, they did a tour, they played a few shows in London. Best gig I've ever been to. Yeah, yeah, no, they're great. They're really good. Even when they came back, I mean, when I saw them, Kim Deal was still with them and it was great. It was really, really nice to see them. Yeah, probably my favorite band all time. Absolutely. It was one of those bands where I just didn't know if they would come back, you know? And I just thought, this is my chance.

If I ever want to see them live, you know, that was not a possibility. And now suddenly it is. I gotta go sort of thing. And I was pleased to go. I mean, I could take or leave any festival, honestly. They're just, they're not for me. But if I get to see a band that's kind of like on my, you know, bucket list of bands to see sort of thing, I'll go.

Well, I went to the End of the Road festival, which is quite big now, I think, in Dorset, which is a really chill... It was like a lot of sort of folk and guitar based stuff, rather than like anything heavy. There's no dance tent and... Everybody brings deck chairs and you sit in your deck chair and watch the band. It's really chill. For older people like me, it was fantastic. But we saw Lowe, who were another one of my favourite bands of all time, and he was having

a bad day, and he threw his guitar into the crowd at the end of the set. Like, turned and threw it like an Olympic hammer. It sailed high into the air, I can still see it in my mind. It's crashed down into the crowd. It could've killed somebody. ALICE Yeah. JUSTIN He was very lucky it didn't hit anybody. ALICE Geez.

JUSTIN A guy caught it and got a free guitar. ALICE Wow. Holy crap. JUSTIN It was terrible, but he was genuinely shocked. ALICE It's like catching a match ball. JUSTIN Yeah. ALICE Why was he... JUSTIN I mean, he didn't catch it, he landed and he grabbed.

ALICE Why was he so pissed off? Just a bad set? Just depressed. Just a bad day. No, it was a fucking great set. They were amazing. But at the end, he just pulled the cord out of his guitar and span it like a hammer and threw it, and stormed off the stage. He was just depressed about something, and everybody was like, that's fucking ridiculous.

Not... I don't know if it was last summer. Maybe it was last summer. I went to see NoFX last summer, in, in their final, uh, final tour. I remember. Yeah. And, uh, I, I was expecting it to be mad, you know, because they, they're kind of like, uh, you know, they're, they're, they're like, uh, like notoriously, you know, at one point,

a very sort of like drug and booze fueled band, a younger following. But I mean, I listened to them when I was a teenager and you know, now that I'm not a teenager, I'm still thinking, everybody that's going to go see no effects going to be young. And then, but it was not, they were all like old dads, tons of old dads. And when we went to see ghost face in Bristol, it was the same. Big in the eighties and nineties. It was just old dance. It was like bands that were big in the 80s and 90s, the fans that are fucking old now. It was good though, because the atmosphere was, for me, better.

I don't really want to be in some crazy situation. Like, crazy and kind of like fast. I want to be somewhere where the pace is a bit slower. Yeah, when we're old. When you're young, that stuff's fine, but I can fucking pull something. Alright, we've got a couple of other remotes to wrap up here. This is from Amber. A no-burper. I've found that I mostly struggle with not burping when I'm out drinking with friends,

of course. Recently I noticed that I'll start feeling sick. Fucking r slash no-burp. It's cause I looked up r slash no-burp, it always pops up for me now. Oh no, I hate that. When I, just browsing reddit. Do you get, do you get like a notification on your device sometimes? It's like new top

post in r no burp. I do. Yes. So, so go on, give it. Recently I noticed that I'll start feeling sick after I have a few ciders or other carbonated drinks. Finally clicked with me that the reason for this is probably because I lack the ability to burp, yeah. This has ruined my night in the past, but now I know the issue, I'm trying to come up with a few beverages I can have that aren't carbonated. The issue is a lot of these drinks are stronger than cider, like shots or cocktails, and I

don't want to look like a complete alcoholic when all my friends are drinking beers. Any suggestions? So far I've been ordering Volca Cranberries, and this makes me feel like an old lady. Amber, white wine! Nice glass of white wine. Yeah, wine will do it. Classy. It is strong.

Strong stuff. It's not, right, but you don't glug it. With a cocktail, these things are so sweet, it's easy to just get it down your neck, cause it's like drinking squash, right? But the point is, with wine, cause it's got quite a strong flavour and it's quite sort of strong, you just sip it. So I go out, and sometimes I'll go out and I'll have a glass of wine. Nice big glass of white wine, you can sip on that for ages. No burp

problem. With wine. There's no burp problem. A Bloody Mary? How about that? Bloody Mary, that's a mild one. You can have one. You can have one, you're right. Irish cream's too small! It's not, you're not gonna make that last as long as a pint. No, no. You don't need to though. You just... DARREN Don't fret about keeping up with other people.

Do you know what I mean? There's no need. You know, you're your own person. If anyone will drink your pints, you don't have to fit in. Drink your... if you like your vodka and cranberry, drink that and you'll be fine. ALICE I know, let's get some white wine, Daniel. Okay. And I will end on a Triforce, what is becoming a mailbag.

Classic. Funny names. Okay? DARR will end on a Triforce. What is becoming a mailbag? Classic funny names. Right. Okay. Every year, right before the college football season here in America, fans and media alike scour through the 80 plus man rosters, but 130 plus college football teams to find the best names and create an all name team for offense and defense. These are all, I've looked them up. These are genuine names of college football players. Now Key and Peele did a very famous sketch about this where they came up with all these

names that were ludicrous. These are real names, okay? Some of them are unbelievable. These are the names. Here we go. This is in offense. Quarterback, General Booty. Wow.

Nice. Is it General? General. It might be General, I dunno. Running back, Jovensky Schlenbaker. I love that. Fullback, Dabba Fofana. Oh.

That's nice. Tight end, Rowdy Beers. Rowdy Beers. Wide receiver, De Coldest Crawford. De Coldest. De Coldest. De Coldest Crawford. Oh.

Wow. Wide receiver, Fat Watts. Fat spelled P-H-. Oh wow. Wide receiver, Fat Watts. Fat spelled P-H-A-T. Fat Watts. Fat Watts. Left tackle, Jaden Muskrat. Jaden Muskrat. Left guard, King Large.

I love that. Center, center. Parker Titsworth. No way. Running guard, Dodge Saucer. And right tackle, Hannah's Hammer. So that's the offense. Hannah's Hammer.

So this is on defence. Shitter Silla. Shitter. What? Yeah, shitter. Like, the word shit, with a T and an A on the end. Shitter. Shitter.

Yeah. Defensive lineman, Demon Clowney. Demon! First name Demon. Demon! Yeah. Defensive Lyman, Blazon Lono Wong. That's a hell of a name. That sounds like a Star Wars name.

Yeah. This Blazon Lono-Wong. Lono Wong. Yeah. That sounds too bad. This is Edge. The Edge. Memorable Factor.

That's their name. Memorable Factor. Memorable. Yeah. His name is Memorable. Memorable Factor. Left, left Yeah. His name is Memorable. Memorable Factor. Left, left, LB I guess that's left back.

Power Eccles. These are insane names. I know. Another left back. Chief Borders. Then there's Mo-bility. Mo is spelled M-O-H. Last name, Bill-ity. Mo-bility.

Yeah. Another one, Alpha Khan. Another one, Major Burns. Jesus Christ. This guy's called Storm Duck. That's his name. Storm Duck. What the fuck?

But this is my favourite. Pig Cage. Pig Cage! Google Pig Cage right now, and look at a man whose name is Pig Cage. There he is. This is insanity. Yeah. These names are insane.

You can't name a person these names. Storm Duck. Parker Titsworth. Yeah. The Coldest. Yeah, The Coldest is, that is fucking sick. The Coldest is unbelievable. He is The Coldest.

The Coldest. I mean, if he fucking drops the pass, it's gonna be... you can't be called The Coldest if you fuck up. His middle name is Juan as well, De Coldest Juan. That's fucking ridiculous. It is ridiculous. That's ridiculous. Alright, so, and a couple of Greg Wallace related emails as well.

Because he's rapidly becoming my favourite subject on the podcast. This isn't particularly interesting, but you guys asked for more Greg Wallace sightings. I walked past him on a TubeStation platform about five years ago. He saw my bemused look and gave me a smile like an early describer saying, Yes, I am Greg Wallace. As he would. As he would. I love that so much.

And then this one, this is from Tom. When my flatmate and I left uni and were looking for a flat, his parents announced they had a flat right by Canary Wharf that we could move into. There was just one problem, they had to kick out the current tenant. I didn't think much of it until a few months into living in the flat when my flatmate and I bumped into none other than Greg Wallace in the street and they greeted each other. Greg was in a rush but seemed nice enough. And it was only afterwards when I asked how my flatmate knew him, he explained he had been the previous tenant.

Oh my god. Did you find- No idea why he was renting? Tons of toenails and fingernails everywhere. I bet he seems like the type. No idea why he was renting there. No idea why he still lives in the area. No idea why he hates spending time with his son.

I am not in the nicer of the two bedrooms than the flats, so suspect Greg Wallace has not literally slept in my bed. So close and yet so far. Thank you, Tom. That's a cracking Greg Wallace sighting. Yeah. Keep them coming. Keep them coming. That's it for this week. I've got tons more, but we'll save them for another one. Thank you so much for all of your mails in and that's for filling our bag. Yeah. Thanks for filling up the bag and we'll see you next time. Goodbye!