Triforce! - Triforce! Mailbag Special #47: Reddit Reacts

Episode Date: February 3, 2025

Triforce Mailbag Special 47! We once again show how dated the podcast is by talking about Elon Musk and Path of Exile 2, we find out Diggy Diggy Hole is being played in Plopsaland, and we react to the hatred we're getting on the Triforce Subreddit. We also have a small YogPod throwback with a Simon cameo! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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at 1-866-531-2600. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Ah, another Mailbag episode has rolled around, and how fun it is to open up all of your emails, especially ones where you complain about things. This week's top complaint has been the story about the dead dog in the suitcase. Remember that one? I remember that one, yeah. One email saying that it was inappropriate for the podcast. I don't really understand

what that was about. But the rest of them were pointing out it is, in fact, a well-known myth, an urban legend. It's been around for ages. There's articles about it. It was bullshit. Apologies. But I would like to know, and I'm going to do a little bit of a mini call out here. Daniel, you know who you are. You wrote in with this. You know it's fake. Why'd you do it?

Why'd you do it? Why'd you do it? I want to know. I want to follow up. So you found the person who sent the urban myth to you. Yes. This is Daniel sent me this. Thought I'd share this story that happened to a friend. Daniel, why did you lie? Because now we've looked foolish and I'm calling you out for attempting to lie on a very prestigious podcast. So we're not blaming ourselves for being accretans.

No, I'm sorry. Do I need to Google every story someone sells me just to check if it's an urban myth? Daniel, Daniel, Daniel, Daniel. We are the age of our parents who receive the chain emails and believe them, you know. Of course. If we didn't read that story out on the podcast, we would have had bad luck and we wouldn't have been able to find a date or whatever. Yeah, it would have been really hard for me to find a date.

Our crush would have not responded to our Snapchats. I'm not sure what the things are that people can do with their crush. I don't know what they do either, honestly. I don't even think they do anything. Apparently nobody does anything anymore. Yeah, that's accurate. They just play Marvel Rivals. Netflix and chill. That's it. That's all they do.

You can do that from home. Yeah, well that's what they do. I don't think anyone goes out anymore. Does nobody goes outside. That's coming from us three. Yeah. Probably spend more time indoors than the average person. This is true. My commute this morning involved walking 10 feet from my bedroom to my office. Literally 10 steps. I actually had to step outside briefly to get to my office.

I take about three steps outside. That's briefly to get to my office. I take about three steps outside. That's impressive. To get to my garage, yeah. Yeah, you talked me there. This is from Sean. S-H-A-A-N. Sean. Sean.

In episode 305, least attractive men in the world, you were discussing the least attractive and most attractive hobbies for men to have. Did we discuss Mick Hucknall at the time? God no. Oh my god. We should have fucking... Is he the least attractive? He has got to be at the top of the list of least attractive.

No offense, or maybe some offense. I don't know, what the fuck in hell. I don't think many of our listeners are going to know who Mick Hucknall is. He has not aged well. I don't think he started off well, but he is certainly not aged well either. Have you seen a recent picture of him? No. Just from the record, Mick Hucknall was a singer who was very big in the 80s. Okay. Just for everyone.

He's still alive. He's still alive. He's at E7. He's a pale, redheaded man. A very, very, very bad band. And his ego was out of control. He gives 90 year old Prince Philip a run for his money, put it that way. I'd say he looks like... In the ghoul stakes.

He looks to me like the guy that owns Wetherspoons. Do you know what? Wetherspoons owner. Yeah, he looks like the guy that owns Wetherspoons. Does weird things to people, doesn't it. Yeah. I was thinking, I was, god, who's the other singer who's like incredibly old and awful looking?

Elton John. Yo. Please. Let's not do it. I couldn't help it. I couldn't help it, alright? I like Elton John. I do actually like Elton John.

I just... McCuttle has a massive ego and he's a fucking Man U fan. How's your season going, Mick? Eh? You enjoying it? You fucking bellend fucking Man U fan. How's your season going, Mick? Hey, you enjoying it? You fucking bellend. Man, you can go down. Oh, God.

Oh, man. Anyway, I'm just surprised, actually. I saw a picture of him recently and I and just you mentioning the fact that we talked about the least attractive men. Yeah. Well, it was I've lost the email now, but it was from a lad talking about. Well, I don't have to be old to be unattractive. No, I mean, there's plenty of attractive old men. Yeah. Well, it was, I've lost the email now, but it was from a lad talking about... Well, I don't have to be old to be unattractive. No. I mean, there's plenty of attractive old men. Victor Mildrew. Look, he's pretty attractive. Victor Mildrew. Victor Mildrew. Did you call him Victor Mildrew? No, I called him Victor Mildrew.

I thought you said Mildrew. You know, he was like 52 when they started filming that. I know. It wasn't, I'm not kidding. He was only a couple years older than me. And he was meant to be this retired old man. Oh my god. The episode where he picks up the dog and thinks it's a phone is still an absolute bank. I love that.

Oh, so by the way, just to finish that email, which I've now closed, it was from a lad who is a blacksmith, and you were like, who's a blacksmith as a hobby? Sean is. There you go. Right. Sorry, Sean. That's alright. closed, it was from a lad who is a blacksmith and you were like, who's a blacksmith as a hobby? Sean is. Right. Sorry, Sean. That's all right. To respond to Sips' question of if having a missing tooth, would the gum harden up after

eating with it? This is something that you asked recently. Yeah. Is it if your teeth are all gone, do your gums harden up? As someone who has been described by several dentists as the worst teeth they have ever seen, I believe I can provide some answers. At the moment I have 13 near or fully missing teeth, mostly molars. I take care of my teeth now at 25.

What? He's 25, he's lost his teeth. But when I was growing up, I brushed maybe once a day while drinking coke religiously. That mixed with parents who had genetically bad teeth. I knew I would have to one day replace them. I've had around 20 crowns and caps, 16 root canals, several deep gum scrapes. Oh my god. But until I get full implant reconstruction, it's just patching holes in a crumbling dam. The gums around the holes where the teeth were do not harden. Trigger molding.

Instead it begins to lose its colour and adhesion to the jaw. And so now once you get... Right, stop. to lose its color and adhesion to the jaw. And so now once you get right after you've been through all that, only to then end up with like, uh, you know, you know, like when boxers put those things in their, their mouths, the white things and they, you can almost like convince yourself that they, the gum shield that they look like perfect teeth or whatever. That's, that's the going thing now. Like on, on TV, man, everyone's having their teeth done like that.

Like they're just perfectly straight, so insanely bright, like neon white. Like it's just, you can get, you can get that. They don't really look like they fit in their, in their, in their mouth. You know, those teeth, those are the ones like, and tons of people seem to have them now. Or maybe I just watched too much reality TV. I'm not sure, but, um, those teeth, those are the ones like and tons of people seem to have them now or maybe I just watch too much reality TV. I'm not sure, but it seems it seems to be all the rage at the moment. Getting your lips done and then having those those fake teeth as well. Your teeth done. Yeah.

Turkey teeth. Turkey. Oh, I heard an email about Turkey. Yeah, here it is. This is from from Dan. Hi, Chaps. My wife is a dental nurse. And during your cosmetics talk, someone mentioned the turkey teeth trend. My wife asks everyone to avoid them wherever possible. Not for the obvious unqualified nurses and dodgy locations.

But UK dentists refuse to work on turkey teeth as soon as they see them. As soon as they touch the teeth during an appointment, they're then responsible for any future repairs required. And as most people need them all removed after a couple of years, this gets quite ridiculous. My wife had a lady, 23, come in, and she developed an abscess and a quarter mouth infection, so a quarter mouth. ALICE We need to stop these details, Pflat. It's too much. RILEY The dentist refused and asked her to leave. She was referred to the NHS and is now on a waiting list of unknown length.

Don't get the turkey teeth. Don't get the turkey teeth. Don't do that. Just leave your teeth alone. I think natural teeth are... Don't. Clean them. Clean them twice a day.

Yeah, of course clean them. And floss. Get one of their natural toothbrushes. You have an annual checkup at the dentist as well just to make sure that everything's okay. Maybe switch to sugar free. But don't get your teeth taken out and then replaced with those toffee teeth. Don't eat toffees like your nan.

No toffees. They, they, you know, that's how you, don't eat too hard. Dattle said to me, I wasn't supposed to crunch on ice, which I've been doing my whole life. Really? He said it erodes your teeth. Yeah. That's bullshit. Yeah.

Apparently like, cause ice apparently can be harder than tooth enamel. That comes from his mum who was a dentist. So, um, you know, a little bit of ice is going to make a difference. Yeah. I mean, if you get a whole ice cube and you're like biting down on it, that's not great. Do you suck on it for a little bit first to loosen it up before you bite down on it? Or is this what she said? Easy one. Easy one. That easy one. I said a Mupp Lewis donksome. Yeah. All right. We got one here.

This is from Alex. Regarding the normal people walking among us. I don't know when we mentioned this. I had a similar thought yesterday when I overheard a conversation in the pub. A guy told his friend he'd been to Berlin for a week. She replied, oh, where did you go? Antwerp? Confused. He said, No, Berlin.

Why would you think Antwerp? To which she replied, I thought Antwerp was the capital of Berlin. Apparently not knowing that Berlin, one, isn't a country and two is the capital of Germany. Holy shit. I wanted to cry. Yeah. Alex, weird. People don't really know much about the world. We make fun of Americans over here all the time for not knowing where anything is. But I bet the average British person on the street wouldn't fucking know anything. Yeah. Yeah.

Got some big plans coming up, although they want Greenland now. They want to rename the Gulf of Mexico. How do you feel? They want Canada. They want Canada now. How do you feel as a Canadian about for the I mean, this must have been in the back of Canadians minds, but at some point America could turn around and say, oh, they're right next to us and we could definitely be them. That there might not at some point be some American in charge who says, why do we let them be up there?

We should take that. That must have been in the back of Canadians' minds. Maybe. I don't know. I mean, I didn't spend a heck of a lot of time as an adult living in Canada because I kind of moved here. I think it might be because for the last... I live here now just of time as an adult living in Canada, because I kind of moved here. I think it might be because for the last...

I live here now just as long as I ever lived in Canada. I don't even know if I care, honestly. We've been very strong allies for the past 150 years. Well, yeah. Do you know what I mean? There is that. Canada is a Commonwealth nation as well. It's part of the G7.

It's a big economy and stuff too. I don't know if it would just be as straightforward as, let's get them. Let's invade them. You know what I mean? Well, you don't think that America could beat Canada in a war? Well, I don't know if it would ever come to that. I don't think they'd go to war with them. I think it would be more like just diplomatic stuff that would, you know, they would maybe, they could maybe try diplomatically to Neville Chamberlain annex them or something.

But I don't know if it would ever even come to that either. You know, I have in my head a piece of paper and it says, uh, there's not gonna be a war. Okay, bud. Stay on your side of the ice, bud. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, who knows? I! Yeah, I don't know. I mean, who knows? I don't know. I'm not like the... I'm not the Oracle of Canada. Right, no, I'm just saying, how do you feel about it? Like, I'm not asking for a definitive...

It doesn't keep me awake at night. You don't care? Not really, no. I don't. Okay. I bet you Trump doesn't... You know, if it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. But I mean, equally, you could say that about anywhere. He doesn't know, I reckon he doesn't know what the capital is of Canada. He probably thinks it's Berlin.

Yeah, I don't know. It's weird. It's a weird one. The whole thing with Greenland as well. Wow, I understand the Greenland thing a little bit more. Well, here's the thing, right? It's a strategic thing. And it's a classic thing that populists do. It's why we had the Falklands War, you know, because they had a populist kind of right-wing military fascist

guy in Argentina who was like, this is, this will bring us together. You know, a little bit of war, you know, gets everyone brings the country together a bit. It's uniting, you know, we got a common enemy. We don't fight amongst ourselves. Yeah. And then all it did was piss everyone off and mobilize Prince Andrew as well, which was a real shame. Oh yeah. Well, it could have gone better though for us. That's where he developed his ability not to sweat. I think the Falklands has a lot to answer for, honestly.

Okay. Alright, this one's from Ian. Perian, while you were reviewing the story about Greg Wallace stealing apples, you started whining, thanks Ian, about how companies sometimes delay payment. As Lewis noted, businesses are based on revenue streams with usually narrow margins and don't have mountains of cash on hand to pay you as soon as your work is complete. Usually we invoice our clients on a monthly basis and your work is only part of the whole invoice. If I were releasing payment to everyone as soon as they requested it, the business would be sunk in

a single month. Love you. All right. Well, Ian, we're not talking about little companies. Yeah, Cashier, we know this. Thank you very much. I'll pay for it next year. Yeah, no, it's okay. I don't have mountains of cash on me, but I do need all this food right now. Next year. Pay next year, no problem. We're literally talking about multi-million and in some cases billion dollar plus companies. And you don't think that they have enough money to pay me? You're fucking so stupid. Yes. You're like so stupid. Yes!

You're like running a small business. I'm not talking about you. This is classic small business ownerhood. You're the same as Apple. You think you're on the same level as Apple. Or Microsoft. Yeah. Or, uh, Bill Gates.

Well, they understood somewhere. Yeah, Bill, yeah, it's Ian, mate. Yeah, we're both physicist men, right? On the same level. Cause you run Microsoft, yeah? And I run Ian's home decorators. Yeah, I'm a big fan of yours. I'm a, we're both businessmen, right? On the same level. Because you run Microsoft, yeah?

And I run Ian's home decorating services or whatever. So I understand business, absolutely, to a team. Mate, this idiot, period, Flax was banging on about not getting paid. If we paid out everyone we owed money to, we'd be broke, mate, wouldn't we? Wouldn't we, Bill Gates? So rich as men are. we owe money to. We'd be broke, mate, wouldn't we? Wouldn't we, Bill Gates? Third Richest Man of the World. Jiverish!

Oh, fuck's sake. There is money in the banana stand. There is always money in the banana stand. Or, I'm not talking about if some small company, Ian, I'm talking about the fact that very large companies, and as a small business owner, you should be as annoyed as I am because quite often small businesses don't get paid by bigger businesses because they know you can't fuck with them because you need their business. So please don't call me a whiner. You're a fool. Feel free to email in again. Thanks for emailing me.

Okay. This one's from Tyler and it's titled, Lewis's next love interest. I hope this email finds you well. Writing to you from America. I heard on the recent meal bag, meal bag, sorry. Meal bag? Meal bag. The meal bag. I've got the horses saying when it's dinner time. That's full of oats.

That's a terrible joke. I heard on the recent Meal Bag number 41, an application to be Lewis's next love interest. Throwing my name into the hat. Isn't that throwing your hat into the ring? Isn't that what people say? He's throwing his name into a hat. I don't know if that's going to work. He's throwing his keys into the jar. I am 30, muscular, a business owner, handsome when the lights are off. I can read, drive a typical large American truck, and didn't vote for Donald Trump. You can be my little spoon. Would you like to see a picture of Tyler?

Yeah, go for it. Yes I would. Hold on. I wanna see this funky 30 year old. I'm gonna download this. This guy sounds kind of interested, honestly. And then open it. He wants Lewis to be his little spoon.

Well apparently. He's a big lad. Oh my god. Oh. That's him. His arm, for context, is the size of Lewis. Alright? Like this lad- Is that me there, in the picture?

That's Lewis there. That's Lewis on the step up to the sink. This lad's left arm is thicker than my thigh. He's a big lad. He is huge. Look at the veins bulging out of his arm. He sent a picture of himself and a child and the child's body is the same width as his arm.

Indeed. And his head looks like the size of his bicep as well. It does. It's huge. P.S. I have three children and a woman that claims to be my wife. I'm sure it won't be an issue. So Tyler is just tossing his, his hand in the ring. He's also looks like a bold brother.

Welcome. Uh, however, he's then followed up. This was a couple of days ago, actually. He followed up with another change. You know, I've changed my request. I was, I was, I was ready to move in. Well, he's changed. He's out.

He doesn't want to, he doesn't want to use his little spoon anymore. The offer has been removed from the table. He's taken his key out of the jar. He's taken his name out of the hat. You're done, Lewis. You're never going to work in this town again. You're finished. He threw his keys and his hat into the ring.

Crushed. All right. This is from Widget. That's their code name. You'll understand why I have to use a code name as I read the email. Right. I wanted to drop you an email because I work at the Hobbiton movie set in New Zealand, which means that I spend all day wandering around looking at hobbit holes. Strange job. I know. In case you don't believe me, I believe you. You don't need to send photographic evidence, I believe you.

So but they did. Thank you. So because I've worked here for a while, I have a few interesting stories of things that happen here at the set. You like to think it's all quaint and picturesque, but with 2,500 people coming a day, we get a lot of fucked up things happening. Most of the tourists coming here are either Chinese or American, both of which have their own problems. Okay, this is the Hobbiton movie set in New Zealand that I've been to. Yes. That's more than 2,500 people a day Zealand that I've been to. Yes. You went there.

That's more than 2,500 people a day. Did you take all your problems there as well? Is it only 2,500 a day? A day? That sounds more than that. Is that a lot? I mean, the movie's over 20 years old. 2,500 people is quite a few people.

Okay, fine. I loved it. I thought it was great. Carry on. Well, when we're sitting at the ticketing booth, we get a lot of Americans coming who are super excited to see, and say this in your best and loud Texan accent, Hobbittown! Only God knows where Hobbittown is, because it ain't here. However, their energy and tipping is unmatched.

Okay, wow. We also get a lot of proposals on tour, and as you can only imagine, they're not always a yes. Oh my God. No. A customer proposed at Bag End in front of their entire tour group of 41 and got told no. Tragic. Luckily they had a lunch included with their group, but it was the most awkward hour lunch in the Green Dragon that has ever been. Wow. Jesus Christ.

Worst thing I've heard happening is when a guide radioed saying that a Code Brown had happened. I think you know where this is going. One day a tour guide was leading their group to the party field down a path, and right in the middle of the path was the biggest shit you've ever seen. A customer from the group in front had taken the biggest dump of their life right next to where Bilbo had his 111st birthday. What's worse is that there was toilet paper there. How did this dump go undetected? Did nobody see this happening?

How they did this without anyone else spotting it, I'll never know. It then became our senior tour guide's job to reroute the following tour groups and get a bag and hose to clean it up. That must have stunk so bad. Yeah. Oh my lord. I don't understand what's wrong with people shitting in disgusting ways. Well, what are you doing?

If you know you've got a problem in the poop department, take care of business somewhere else. Don't go on a tour and think, well, I might need to take a big, big, big shit. You know, when you poop in your toilet and it goes in the water, I don't think we appreciate just how much of the odor the water blocks as well. Like it still stinks. But I think like a completely unsheathed out in the world poop fucking reeks, man. There's no comparison. It just stinks so bad.

I can't believe it. God, that's disgusting. Do we think that's why they tip so well? Yeah. Because they know they're dumping it. Because they know they're gonna take a dump somewhere. Clean this up, boy! Why? know they're dumb because they know they're going to take a dump somewhere. Clean this up. I'm not kidding.

But obviously, I think I think Britain is the most if not one of the most obese countries in Europe. But whenever I go to America, it's there. They're so much bigger. I mean, they're bigger in every way. There's a lot of very large people in America. Yeah, there are. And if you're eating as much as they are eating, you gotta go, quite a bit.

I'm sure there's multiple very large poops a day. And do you think your poops are mainly solid, or do you think that they're like, at that point they must be mostly liquid? I don't know. Well this is why, these questions are why we have a mailbag, guys. Right. So, if you are a very large- You don't need to speculate.

What's the consistency of your poops? And how many are you taking a very large person... You don't need to speculate. What's the consistency of your poops? And how many are you taking a day? And when you take... Cause I remember one time, we were on the train, this was a school trip somewhere, we're on the train, and somebody had taken a poop in the train toilet, and it was no word of a lie. It was about as thick around as the average water bottle. You know those reusable water bottles?

Yes. Yeah. It was that no word of a lie. Yeah. So you're birthing essentially a small child every time you go to the toilet. I want to know how much does it hurt or do you just get used to it? How much are you fucking eating that your poo is bigger than my entire daily intake of food? Like if I crushed all my food that I eat in the day together, it's still smaller than your poop. How much you eat, how much effort does it require?

Are those like your all the time poops or are they just once in a while? I have taken a poop like that before. Good lord. But I think I can probably count, I mean I'm going to be 45 years old this year. I can probably count on one hand the amount of times in my life I've taken a poop like that. Like, like it's pretty rare, you know? Well, it's like finding a stone of Jordan. Yeah, we've really raised the bar this week.

I hope everyone's enjoying the dental talk and poop talk. Did you guys did you guys see that video of Elon Musk playing Path of Exile 2? No, he recorded himself playing Path of Exile 2, but it is not. He doesn't play the game like he's it. I think he's just paid somebody to play the game for him. And now people are like tracking his account because it's you know, he's like, oh, it's a hardcore character. It's like the hardest difficulty.

Oh, yeah. But all the best gear. But this is a man. Have time for this. Well, this is exactly. It was like he killed the boss and then he but and he was picking stuff up off the ground. the best gear, but then this is a man. How would he ever have time for this? Well, this is it. Exactly. He was like, he killed a boss and then he, but, and he was picking stuff up off the ground, but he was like dragging it into his inventory, like from the ground. I've never seen anybody do that before. Like this is something that your mom would do if like you said, here, try Path of Exile

2 mom, see what you think. And like she'd just be figuring out like the, the UI and stuff. You know what I mean? Like, this isn't somebody who is like, you know, number five in the hardcore ladder. Like who's played 500 hours of the game in two weeks. Yeah. Listen, if he's saying, I'm the best person, the best player of the world at polytopia or sieve, like, like, like a fucking Mark Zuckerberg says. Then, you know what, that's fair enough, that's fairly unverifiable. And I've had plenty of people tell me that and then I've played multiplayer with them and they're absolute garbage, right? So it's fine. But Path of Exile 2 is this game where you need to put in thousands and thousands and

thousands of hours and it's like, Elon Musk's one of these people who, he pays people to do everything for him, right? Half of his children aren't even his. He's like, I don't even have time to have sex with this woman, I'm just gonna use artificial insemination, because that's the best way to get her pregnant fast. And do you know what I mean? It's like, do you know what I mean? His time is so precious. But Part of XO is the opposite of that. It's like an absolute thief of time. You need to put in the hours. I just feel like it's a really bad choice on his behalf to have picked that as the game that he's

good at. I just thought like the same with Zuckerberg and stuff as well. I hate that. Like, uh, you know, they, they, they feel like, like their ego is at such a point where they feel like they have to come across as some sort of genius or the best at everything. You know what I mean? It's like, okay, yeah, you've already made more money than almost everyone ever. Like that can be your thing. You don't have to also be the best at POE or civil.

You know, like the shack was a good basketball player. He didn't go to the nursery and then tell everybody he was better at coloring than everybody. You know what I mean? Like it's this is just a good basketball player, just leave it. You know? Like, just rein yourself in a little bit. I have this a little bit, right? What? Because you're a billionaire?

No, with Warhammer models and stuff. Because we do games tonight, we do loads of things, and I want to paint up an army, and I do one model and I get like a headache, and so then I pay a guy to do it. But I don't say I've done it myself. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? And you don't claim to be the best either. It's like stolen valor, right? I almost feel terrible about it. And in fact, I often shout out like every time I play with models, I'm like, I didn't paint these. I got them on eBay or I paid this guy. Do you know what I mean? And I give them a shout out because it's their work, you know, but Elon's got some airtight, apparently I read that he has

one of the most airtight NDAs in the industry, with the guys who are speedrunning and power-leveling him in Diablo and parts of XR. And it's like, well why... I've always been really... There's always that option, right? Every time you log into any game ever, especially MMOs, there's always some adverts in chat saying, oh I'll level you up, and it's the same, you get it in Dota as well, right? Like you get people who've bought their accounts and stuff, and it's like, what is the point

in doing that? ALICE I'll never understand it. ALICE The whole point of the game is the journey of getting there and earning it yourself. That is the point. JUSTIN Or never getting anywhere, just playing it, enjoying yourself. It's just meant to be, like, fun. A fun hobby. ALICE It's just like, be, like, fun. A fun hobby. To detach yourself from stuff.

My conclusion from all of this stuff I've seen, especially from Musk, and to a lesser extent from Zuckerberg, money can't buy you happiness is genuinely, genuinely one of the most true sayings. Because these guys are clearly not happy. If you look at Elon Musk, would you tell me that he seems like a happy guy who's content? No! If you look at Elon Musk, would you tell me that he seems like a happy guy who's content? He's the richest man in the world by far, and he's still miserable. And still looking for some validation.

Looking desperately for some community to take him in. This guy is tragic. Or even worse, he's just trying to poison everything. Everything he touches. I don't think he actually gives a shit. But on a fundamental level, he wants acceptance from some group. Here's the thing, right? It's just crazy.

If you were him, and you were in his shoes, and you were the richest man in the world, and you could have anything you wanted ever, and every decision you made somehow paid off. You would never hear from me ever again. You would not see me in the news. You would not ever hear a peep from me again. I would be too busy banging everybody on my yacht all the time. I would just be far too busy. Well, he's been doing that. But the thing is, he lives in this kind of world that's so weird, okay? And he thinks he's completed the simulation. You talk to his ex-girlfriends

and wives and stuff and they say he is living in this dream world. Because he thinks everything's been computer generated. He hasn't spoken about it recently, but apparently he still believes that he's kind of won the simulation and now he's just messing around. I wish everybody would spur him on more to go to Mars so he would fuck off and never have to hear from him ever again. He does a lot of Ketteman. That would be amazing if you colonize Mars. And I hope you fucking rot there as well by yourself,

because we don't want you here or need you here. Alright, let's lift the mood. Let's lift the mood. Because Elon Musk will bring anybody down, I think. Alright, this is... Hi guys. Alright, this is quite a funny one. Hi guys. This is an email about Henry Hoovers. You know what Henry know, yes, yes, I love hi guys. Please keep my name out of this as the company has eyes everywhere. No. Okay. Brackets.

Cheeky, cheeky, Henry joke there. Very, very good. Here are a few things based on what has been spoken about in prior podcasts. I used to work in the finance department at the company that makes Henry Hoovers down in Somerset. There are a few things that stood out. I can't do a Somerset accent. I could just do generic country accents, so apologies, anonymous.

These little things are so damn robust, the return and failure rate on them is around 1%. They are cheap to produce. They cost about £27 in materials to make and sell for around £100. Yeah, that's great. Might be obvious, but Henry is everywhere. Photos on nearly every wall, floor, tool, or something that isn't even open to the public. They go all out.

And I'm looking, there is a photo of the finance area and indeed I will post this for you chaps. So he's just staring out at you Izzy. Actually, such a great product though. Like, we've owned not even that many in our lives, because nothing ever seems to go wrong with them, touch wood. I don't want anything to go wrong. Well, they've got a 1% failure rate. So this is the finance area. Look, there's stacks of Henry Hoovers everywhere.

Yeah, you can get like little USB desk ones and stuff too, they're really cool. Yeah, they are cute. Well, a great British company. A great British company. They're really cool. Yeah. Yeah. They are. Well, a great British company. Yeah. A great British company. Look at that. Look at that reception. I can imagine what the outside of that building looks like. What if it was just a giant Henry? Oh, yeah. It might be. Yeah. Yeah. It could well be. It's just looming on the land. We've got a normal Henry Hoover with the face on it and stuff, But we also got one of like those, it's a bit like a dust buster, but it's got like a long attachment. You got to get these like bags and stuff, but it's a Henry product, but it's not branded the same way,

you know, it looks like a more like a serious product, but it's like a cordless handheld thing. It's got a little battery and you have to you put the bag in. It's in this like cylinder see-through, but man, it's really good. And it comes with sent pods as well. You can put a sent pod. So when you're when you're it's like for spot hoovering, you know, you wouldn't do like a big serious, you know, hover of your whole house with it. It's just, you know, all the kids made a mess here.

It's a power thing. Yeah, yeah. But then we got like vanilla scent pods for it. So you can, you know, it smells fucking glorious. Very bougie. Yeah, it's really nice. This is this one's from Luke. In a few different episodes, you've talked about flying. And I have a related question.

I'm not the most frequent flyer, but I have had to take a reasonable number of long distance flights in the last few years and there's something I've noticed that always confuses me. Through luck of the draw, my checked bags always seem to be one of the last to come out when the number of people waiting is dwindling. I have no complaints about this, I understand, the busy guys and girls behind the scenes, but there are always some bags that come out towards the front that are not collected seemingly even after mine comes out.

This is several bags, more than one group's worth. My question is, what are those people doing? Where are they? They haven't got anywhere else to be. It's not the flight staff, as I saw them picking up their bags. The time between leaving the plane and me collecting my bag is usually a significant amount of time, so it's not like they're just in the toilet or something. It's a good question. Some people drink a lot on flights. Maybe they just get so pissed that they forget that they have luggage and they leave. One, this is the mail baggage we've said answers in, not fucking more questions. That's true, yeah, we're going to go off on one now.

Two, I think it could be mislaid baggage, right? Like stuff that's put on the wrong flight. It does happen. I've had my baggage mislaid many times. Yeah, it could well be, because when you do lose your luggage, if it does happen to you, usually they're tracking it and they'll tell you where it is. So like, if you flew to New York and your bags ended up in Hawaii, well those bags are just still going out onto the carousel and making the rounds. Like, they probably know that they're there, but, you know, they'll just collect them and then ship them off back to New York as soon as they can.

Yeah, sir, we've located your luggage. It's in Sheboygan. So, I, this is... I love Sheboygan. So, when I came back from holiday last week, it was that really, really snowy Saturday. And we got to the, we left the hotel at like 10. We drove our hire car back, we dropped it off. It was all fine.

A bit stressful because, you know, it was like a two hour drive. Anyway, got on the plane and we were delayed because it was like, oh, there's delays from, we can't take off because of, I think the plane wasn't ready or whatever. Anyway, we left about two hours late. And then when we got to Bristol airport, we were circling and you couldn't see anything out the window. It was like a massive snowstorm. It's like a blizzard. They're like saying on the intercom, like we're just circling until we get a chance to land. The pilot did try and land once and then like pulled away again. And it was like one of those like, oh.

Yeah. Those are really, you're're almost shit in your pants a bit. Spooky. Yeah, they're spooky. Well, it's the classic thing, Bristol Airport, it's a shit airport. Anyway, I've complained about it plenty of times. But eventually they shut the runway and we got diverted to Cardiff. And we landed at Cardiff and it was like a ghost airport. There was no one fucking there. ALICE Well, there was probably a lot of stuff had been cancelled that day because of all the snow and stuff too.

ALICE We had to go down these rickety stairs to get off the plane, and then we had to run all the way across the tarmac into the building, which was all like, wasn't lit up, and there was one guy they'd brought into the passports, and then there's like, we went through into the... ALICE Was it Rob Brydon? ALICE It was like, Tom Jones was manning the carousel. Yeah. He was handing out the bags.

And, um, and so then they sort of, they put, so late by that point, it was like midnight, um, we, um, bloody fucking, I just called an Uber and got an Uber back. But then that was an absolute nightmare because it was snowing so hard and the taxi driver just didn't seem to notice. Like, there were trucks going by on the other side, like, splashing slush across the whole windscreen of his car and he was just like, like, screw it. It was the hair-raising dude. Really frightening. And we eventually got back at like 1 a.m. in the morning. It was nuts. I cannot recommend that. But it was so weird going through an airport that

was like totally... you know, they had to quickly just pull in staff. You know, it's like, oh shit, there's a plane being diverted. In you go. They unlock the place. And yeah, just weird. But kind of cool. Alright, this one is anonymous. I had a follow up. This is a good email. And then the follow up said, in all caps, please disregard and do not read this on the podcast. Oh.

And I asked why. And they responded and said that they just wanted to be anonymous. So you're going to be anonymous. Don't worry, Chaps. I've attached an audio file that I believe may be of interest to the podcast, and especially to looks. For context, on a recent holiday to Belgium, we visited an amusement park located near the French border called Plopsaland de Pana. This is a rather large park with multiple areas all themed to very distinctly Belgian children's TV shows.

In the Vic the Viking land section of the park, the attached music was playing in the background. I'm going to pop this on the discord so that you guys can hear it. Now, I want you to hear it and then we'll discuss. Right. OK. Oh. Oh my God, you can sue them. Oh my god you can sue them! Oh my god, finally! Somebody's taking the bait, you can sue them?

You can actually sue these guys. Plopsaland you are fucked! You are fucked! You've been a lawyer up! You've been a lawyer up! You've been a lawyer up Plopsaland! You guys are fucking done! We're coming for everything!

You guys are fucking done! Plopsaland! We can retire! We can fucking retire guys! You are fucked! Oh my god! Plopsaland! You are fucked! You are fucked! Fucking you guys are fucking done. We can retire we can fucking God plops a land. Thank you so much for fucking up like this So that is that is a hundred percent diggy diggy Oh my god. So that is, that is a hundred percent diggy diggy hole.

Oh, a million percent. But that's fine. I want that. I want people to play diggy diggy hole. You idiot! You're sitting on a golf line! You fool! You fool!

Listen, if Elon Musk uses it on his stream, we're suing him. But, uh, Popsaland, you're good. Like, you know, whatever. What are you doing? You don't know anything about Popsaland. Imagine he came out to Diggy Diggy Hall! Oh fuck! Buildy buildy war, surely!

Oh man. I can't believe you're not sewing Popsaland, the children's theme park that no one's heard of in the UK. That is cheeky though. That is cheeky. It's not cheeky, it's good, I like it. No, that's cheeky! I tell you what though. It's really cheeky. It's not cheeky, it's good, I like it. No, that's cheeky! I tell you what though, the thing is, if you go on Spotify, you'll find that Diggy D Hole has made its way onto a bunch of metal playlists and other sort of playlists. Yeah, those last didn't cover of it.

I think it has, well it's partly because of the much more successful, I mean, Wintrose cover of it. But a lot of people who've never heard of the Yogscast know and love Diggy Diggy Hole. And so it is just out there and I'm cool with it. No, it's not just out there. It's a song that you guys painstakingly wrote and they've just nicked it. Listen, if it was the other way around, you think the people, you think the suits at Plopsaland would hesitate? That they would say, we're glad that the Yogscast are using Plopsaland's copywritten material? No! They'd come down to you like a tonne of Belgian bricks.

I say, you get over there. Strike first. And you just send them a strongly worded cease and desist. We get in there before they get in. Yeah. If you don't protect your copyright you lose it. If you don't protect it, it's gone. And suddenly, all your old videos with Diggy Diggy Hole on, suddenly you're getting letters from Plopsiland saying actually we own the rights to Diggy Diggy Hole.

Yeah, they're gonna take it over. They're gonna claim ownership. You gotta protect your neck. Well, look, we don't, like we said, we're not doing this for the money. We're doing it for the love of the game. You're doing it for the love of the game. We're doing it for the love of the game. I did read a post yesterday on one of the trifle subreddits, which was like... I've read a few, they're very angry lately.

What? Very cross. About what? They're not happy about the, especially the spaces emails. Oh, that one. Which we haven't spoken about in a long time. No, that's been a while. Yeah. But yes, they're, I'd say generally very cross.

Some people are. Well, I say quite a few. Please, please never talk about spaces again, is the thread. 20 hours ago. There was someone, I didn't even understand what this sentence meant. I'll have to look it up for you. Jesus Christ, I heard people winching about the spaces topic more than the lads talking about it. That's from Happy Hens. Thank you. And then someone says, I take a whole podcast of spaces over Lewis reading AI haikus any day. Well, I get it. Like people do have a hatred of haikus, but I'm not using it for content and I'm telling you it's AI. It's not like I'm actually hiding it. The thing about AI now is

it's, and it's going to be, I complained about it on the last podcast as well, but it's everywhere and you don't even know now. It's like, it's already like integrated. You just don't realise. It's a disaster. It's so, so bad. It's not even funny. Ironically, this, this really confused me. It feels like something the weird kid in school would say to sound pseudo intellectual. Congrats, you managed to waste a large amount of time being pedantic in the stupidest way. I can't believe the airtime it was allowed. Follow up email, also just to add, this isn't an email, this is a message on Reddit, the

response from Perian's mate of, then it worked perfectly, Lomfowl, that is the most classic cop-out response, as if he was rage baiting all along and not being, and this is a sentence that confused me, Lanar Wal Bakens at midnight, my lady. Yes. What does that mean? It's just, I don't know what that means at all. All random. Either way.

People very cross. Calm down. It's just, it was just a stupid... Maybe they're not even real people though. Maybe they are AI cross people, you know? Well, maybe they're trying to get us all riled up. Maybe they're trying to get us, maybe they're trying to get us riled up so that we can hit our peak, you know, like all of a sudden we just like, we become a rage baiting.

Listen to this one. Can anyone explain this thing Lewis does? Why on earth does Lewis keep doing this thing where he wants to say something, but it's like he's making the sentence up as he's speaking. For example, episode 304, 19 minutes. This is a direct quote. I think sometimes people find that someone, someone they speak to, this is a very, very common, someone they speak to, they feel like

they're listening, they're listening, right? And it's easy to open up to people you don't really know. And it's, I think you would just be maybe polite or responsive. And he felt some sort of kindred. Maybe he was a secret bald man. So that's what I said. This is an AI response for sure. Okay. You do, I mean, we all ramble from time to time. It's a podcast. I would love, it doesn't think about what he's going to say before speaking. Who does that?

Well. You don't sit there and think, oh, how's this sentence going to go? Should I say and there or should I say then? You start talking and you attempt to get the point across this lodged somewhere in your brain using language. That's the whole point of speech is you don't think about every word you're going to say. And sometimes thoughts are forming as you're speaking and you add on to the point you originally making like your brain and language is very complicated. You don't plan out what you're going to say. Like you plan out what you're going to have for lunch and get everything ready.

But you don't start making a sandwich and then get all the bits and do what I'm going to put in this. You get the stuff and assemble it. But a sentence, a thought, an expression of an idea, of course you plan it out and sometimes it ends up being rambling. You know, I'm a simple man. When I make a sandwich, I'm just putting cheese in there. Yeah.

See? He said that. He didn't think, what am I going to say now? Shall I say I am a very simple man? in there. Yeah. See? He said that. He didn't think, what am I going to say now? Shall I say, I am a very simple man. No, I could say I'm a very simple man. No, no, no. I'll say I am, because it's more forceful.

I am a very simple man. When I make a sandwich, I just put cheese in there. I'll say that, full stop. Well, listen, it could be dementia. It could just be rambling. It could just be, I don't know what I'm doing. But also it could be that Tom Hazel has just not edited me very well.

Yeah, that's the other Tom's fault. I think we should blame... Yeah, we should blame the editors. If I don't make any sense, Tom, that's your fault. Yeah, yeah, Tom. God. All right, this is... Just consider what you're listening to here, guys. At least you're getting the genuine

article. Yeah. Could be one of those hyper-edited shits, but this is just fairly edited. This is just a natural chat. And sometimes I think people do talk like that when they're... I think this podcast has remained pretty consistent, though. I don't think it's changed that much. And I think for the length of time that it's been running, I think you'll always get an element of this because I think people start watching something or listening to something and they get really into it. And then after a while it grates on them, you know, like, uh, it's, it's just, it's been around too long. They've listened to it for too long. And then, uh,

but they still listen to it, but they start to hate it, you know, and then, and then they complain about it. And then they complain about it. I think a lot of stuff that is long running suffers from that. There is a degree of that, you know, where it's just people getting... Are you saying you want to stop doing the podcast? No, I'm not saying that at all. I enjoy doing it. It's such a nice routine comfort thing to do.

It's fun, it's a good catch up and stuff. Chats as well. It's like chatting at the pub. We don't... Yeah, it's just us having a chat. People are like, I can't believe the airtime that was allowed. We fucking have an agenda. Like, no!

We're just throwing this together as a conversation. I mean, I do plan out, I make a note during the week, I have a little text file on my desktop, I think I've mentioned this before, if something happens during the week that I think, oh I'll talk about that on the podcast, I'll make a note of it. That's it. And obviously the mail back. There's such a clear, beautiful bird song coming in through your mic. I know, I'm sorry about that.

No, don't be sorry, it's wonderful. That's far better than the drilling or whatever it was yesterday. Well, the bird was the one doing the drilling, but he's taking a break. It's so clear, it's like he's on your shoulder. Like it's incredible. I know. It's, yeah. God, nature truly is fucking lit, isn't it?

Just listen for a second. Hopefully it comes through on the recording. Hold the mic out the window. I can't, it's on her arm. Get the mic out there. Oh, good. Stop talking and you can hear it. You guys are like my kids.

It's not gonna do it now. It just did it. I didn't hear it. Oh, you know what? I'm gonna go and get the mic out of the window. I'm gonna go and get the mic out of the window. I'm gonna go and get the mic out of the window. I'm gonna go and get the mic out of the window. I'm gonna go and on the mic out there. Oh, my God. Stop talking and you can hear it. You guys are like my kids. So I'm going to do it now. It just didn't hear it. Oh, you know what?

Maybe it's like like a voice. I'm talking. Yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, there I can hear. There you heard it. All right. This one is called. And this is a rare email. This is called an apology to period.

Oh, my God. OK., I cannot wait for this. Yes, thank you, this is from Matthew. I just wanted to personally apologize to you, Perion. As I mostly only experience you through this podcast, or a tiny corner of the lads playing dota terribly, I tend to have an image of you in my mind of being a dad who doesn't care terribly about his fashion, and probably just wears old t-shirts with mustard stains on them. Watching the jingle jam made me realize you actually do wear nice clothes and my mental

image of you was unjust and cruel. I'm so sorry. Cheers lads. Hope you have or had a great Christmas with your friends and family. Matthew, thank you so much. Oh my God. Whence, where's my apology? I really do try to buy, I really do try to buy nice clothes and I try to wear stuff that I think looks good. And I've been on a bit of a mission to not wear drab colors as much as possible. I will avoid wearing outfits that lack a splash of color. So for example, I bought a hoodie, it's a polo hoodie, it's sort of mint green. And I bought a jumper the other day. It's quite bright yellow. And somebody commented on that jumper when I was out in Bristol.

I said to the doorman, I'm just popping into the loo. But I'm here with these guys because the pub was packed and they weren't letting many people in. And he was like, yeah, I remember you, mate. Don't worry. I wouldn't forget someone wearing that jumper. And I was like, what? This isn't like outrageous. It's just a yellow jumper.

But every other bloke was wearing black, brown, blue, beige, white, that's it. No colours that sparkled. That gave people joy. Nothing. It's all just dull uniform colours. So, my whole thing is, I'd like to wear more colours. Pinks, purples, yellows, oranges, bright colours, greens, let's go. ALICE Yeah, go for it. SEAN So I try to do that. AL, I just don't acquire new clothing that often. Do you also wear the clown nose and like the... You callin' me a clown?

You callin' me a fucking clown? Do you have the big honking shoes as well? The big red ones, when every step you take it goes, eh. Those ones? Or is that the nose that does that? I just want to spread a bit of joy. I understand. The day I take, the day I take fashion advice from a man who lives in a garage and a man

who once dressed as a samurai for a full year is a day you can put me straight in the bin. Thank you very much. Oh, I don't think our fashion sense is entirely dissimilar though, Flax. I think we, we, we, you, you have more button up shirts than I do though. Uh, whether you button them up or not is, uh, is irrelevant. But, um, I think we've kind of dressed mostly the same, you know? I don't think that's true. Every time we've met, I would say the way you dress and the way I dress it substantially different. Really? What's like, so I left behind the button up shirts when I was 25.

I mean, for a start, I've only really seen you wear sort of casual stuff like shorts. Right. You wear shorts a lot. I don't wear shorts that much, especially I only wear them in the summer. Right. I've never seen you in a brightly colored jumper. No, no. True. You wear a baseball hat quite often. I never do.

That's true. That's true. You wear a baseball hat quite often. I never do. That's true. That's true. And I would say in general, the color scheme I would associate with you would be the aforementioned standard male fashion range colors. Whereas I try to do the opposite of that. Right. Okay. Well, so that's why I would say that in fact, your statement is untrue.

Have you guys read anything about these Malibu fires and stuff? Yeah, I've heard. Like Paris Hilton's house has been burned down. I didn't know that. But I mean, these are, this is like, mostly a very affluent part of LA that is burning down. Yeah. James Wood's house burned down.

The Palisades. The Palace. Yeah. Pacific Palisades. And, Pacific palisades. But a lot of the houses up there are multi, multi million dollar houses. Oh, they're huge, yeah. Nine, ten million dollar houses. So some of the houses have burned.

Some of the responses to these people losing their homes. It is sad. Like anytime you see someone's home, this is their home burned down. Of course it is. It's very sad. But James Wood's burned down and that was actually quite funny. Because he was... He's very sad. But James Wood's burnt down and that was actually quite funny. Because he was... He's a dick. And this other guy, who was like, I'm a corporate bigwig and I don't agree with paying taxes, we shouldn't have to pay any taxes, was then on Twitter

saying, does anyone know any private firefighters? I'll pay whatever it takes. My house is about to burn down, please help. And it's like, if you live... That is such a fucking American thing to do, isn't it? I've got money. Can I get some privately funded firefighter's over here? Yeah. So, presumably... I heard they recruited like 400 prisoners to fight the fires as well for like $1 an hour. What a fucking world. You're hiring prisoners for a dollar an hour to save the millionaires, billionaires, holiday homes.

Give me a fucking break. It's apocalyptically bad shit. There's a thing where Jamie Lee Curtis was tearfully recounting how her kids' school burned down. And at the time I said to my wife, I bet you they're not too sad about their school burning down. Like, you the time I said to my wife, I was like, I bet you they're not too sad about their school burning down. Like, you know what I mean? Fuck me, if I was at school, my school burned down, I would be like, oh my god, this is

incredible! It's gone! It's gonna be off for years! An act of, an act of God, a true act of God. Man, she was so hot back in the day, Jamie Lee Curtis. Very 80s, with the short hair and the sort of quite... I don't wanna... I'm not poking fun, I mean, your house burning down, it doesn't matter who you are, that

fucking sucks. Like, the whole situation obviously is awful, and it's a shame that there's so much, you know, weird blame being passed around and stuff too, at such a time. It's not very classy at all, is it? Everybody pointing the finger. People weren't meant to live in fucking LA in the first place, were they? It's just a shitty scorched, smoggy desert full of fucking... it's shit.

And earthquakes and fuckin' fires. Drowths. Big droughts. Drow- it's just a disaster of a place. But it's huge! My god, it spans! So, like, when you fly into it, you look out at the horizon and it's just non-fuckin'-stop, man, it's crazy. I mean, California, I went to California a couple years ago, I love the state, it's beautiful, it really is. But LA, as you say, was definitely not meant to have that many people living there, because

there was no fucking water, the river that runs through LA was very little. So they had to bring all this water from elsewhere there, and that's the reason that LA processed it. Yeah, and then Tom Selleck stole all of it as well. So Tom Selleck, with his law, has ruined LA! It's his avocado farm. He was out of, there's no fire in the hydrants because he took all of it for his avocado farm. That's why. Nobody wants to speak the truth on this matter, but yeah, if you, if you dig deep, you'll find, you'll find a lot of this can be traced back

and blamed on. But don't worry, Tom Hanks' twenty-six million dollar house has been saved. Oh good. But the one next door burned down. Oh no! Who lived next door? It was another Tom. Tom Bombadil. I don't know.

Holy shit, his hobbit hole burned down. Yeah. Damn. Tom Bombadil is an hobbit! Oh, you thought Tom Bombadil was a hobbit! Oh, you thought Tom Bumpadoo was a hobbit. Oh, shit. Oh dear. Oh, I'm gonna forget the emails about that one.

Oh no. Was he not one? No, he's like- I think it might be Eugene Levy, Steve Gutenberg. Steve Gutenberg. Adam Brody, like John Goodman. God, they've been off the radar for quite some- they kept that quiet. Look at that place.

Well, I'm sure it looked great before. Got some pimped out houses. Yeah, fucking hell. I guess Steve Gutenberg must have made some money though. Oh, fucking who knows. He was in like six Police Academy movies, and when I was eight years old they were like huge. They were like the biggest.

He was in police academy movies, he was in Cocoon. Oh Cocoon, yeah. He was in The Boys from Brazil, he was a small pie and that gets killed by Nazis at the start. He's been in a few other things but then his career vanished because I think he tried to become a serious actor. And he failed. Yeah, I don't. I don't remember seeing him in anything after Police Academy, basically.

Yeah, I don't think he was well-liked. Being in Police Academy, if that's all you're known for, is probably fine. I don't think he's going to make that much money. I think the first at least four movies of Police Academy were pretty good. Maybe. And then the fifth one. It was an ensemble cast. The fifth one, I think, was the Miami one. And then the fifth one. It was an ensemble cast. The fifth one, I think, was the Miami one.

And then the sixth one was Mission to Moscow. And I think. When was the beach one? I think that was the Miami one as well. I think that would have been five. Police Academy five. I might be wrong. I'm not looking this up, by the way.

This I'm going entirely by my memory of the Police Academy franchise. The first one was Citizens on Patrol, I think was the first one. It was when they went to, they were at the Academy and they were trying to become police officers. And then all the police went on strike and then they had to police the streets. There was like a, like a riot. The second one, I can't remember. Uh, the third one had Bobcat in it, I think, but he was a criminal. And then I'm pretty sure in the fourth one, Bobcat became an officer.

I'm a cop now! And then the fifth one was the Miami one. The sixth one was the Moscow one. And then nobody paid any attention to Police Academy ever again. So well, you say that, but there have been seven. Right. What was the seventh one? I have no idea. But in 2009, Gutenberg mentioned that Disney was developing a second sequel to Three Men and a Baby, entitled Three Men and a Bride.

He was in that? He was in that with Tom Selleck. Yeah. And Ted Hanson. And Ted Danson. Yeah. Ted Danson, Tom Selleck, Steve Gutenberg. It all comes back around to Selleck. It always comes back to fucking Selleck, Steve Guttenberg, it all comes back around to Selleck.

It always comes back to fucking Selleck, doesn't it? The Mustachioed, Empresario, Dude, Avocados, Sequels, Water, he's behind it all. We gotta get like a UFO subreddit or something on this. Foot Selleck? There's a conspiracy foot, I can't really, I can't quite put my finger on it. Yeah, we can't grasp it, but Tom Selleck is involved. There's just something off with this guy. There's something. I agree. There's something here. There's some substance there. Hey,

have you been watching the new season of the traders? No, but Mrs. F and my youngest are big fans. So they've been a good one so far. Three episodes a week. So it just goes, did Lewis go? Blast. No, no, no. I'm listening. I don't know. Like the traders is very, it's very telly, isn't it? Yeah, it is. It is television, he's right. Have you guys seen any of, heard about fucking how bad the Mr. Beast Squid game is, Beast Games? No.

It was this huge, huge show. I choose not to waste my time that way. There's other ways I prefer to waste my time. I waste my time in more meaningful ways. It's like, obviously Mr. Beast watched Squid Game and sort of got completely the wrong message from it. And then recreated it in a kind of awful way where people have to sort of, kind of, basically in order to survive, survive, they have to beg everyone else to let them survive, right?

Because a lot of the stuff is like, people say, well, I deserve the money because I want to live on a passive income for the rest of my life and I really need this, so can you give up and let me win, and I'm gonna cry for a while. It's just like the worst... it creates the worst moments. From people. Tom Hanks' house doesn't look like it has a lot of parking. I'm just zoomed in to look at it. It's like, what does he want? A multi story?

How does he need it? How many cars do people need? If his house survives all this, maybe you should consider one because I don't, I'm not sure where your parking cars in this place. I think the house is so big, Sips, that that small thing on the left is the garage and that can probably hold about four or five cars. That's a pool house. That small thing on the left is definitely a pool house.

Yeah, because there's the pool. But if you look, I mean, the size of things here, first of all, I suspect, round the back of all this, because you're not going to have the cars parked at the front with this amazing view. There's probably an access road with a garage round the back there. I mean, there could be, we don't know how big the ground stretch at the front with this amazing view. There's probably an access road with a garage around the back there. I mean, there could be, we don't know how big the ground stretch at the back there. When we were in LA, we saw Leonardo DiCaprio's pad. It's fucking enormous.

Like they have a huge lead up to these properties. This is just the house. They've got these grounds. I don't know, these ones like look at that road at the back there. Like it looks like, you know, it looks, it looks close to the road. And then you've got like that lower road. What's that? No, no, no. That's just a place to road. Like I'm not kidding. So that road at the top there, that's like the tours go round there and they point say there's Tom Hanks.

Yeah, but that's close though. There's not that much separate. Like there's trees for privacy and stuff, but there's only like a line of them. There's not that much. Look at his house. He's on the much. But dude, look at his house. He's on the hillside. He's got an amazing view of LA. How many bedrooms you think is in that? Look at the windows on the right side. There's at least what?

Yeah. Six, seven. I don't know what that right side thing is. It looks like a car park. It looks like a multi-story car park on the side of the house. Sort of weird. I don't know what that is. I don't know. It looks like stairs.

Like outside stairs. It's a three story and there's probably a huge basement. There's another separate building around the back. There's like 15 bedrooms in this fucking place. Holy shit, man. He's got look at that. What's that chimney? Like, do you think that's what do you think that that's hooked up into?

I AC, I would say. Oh, you think it's an AC stack? Yeah. Or it might be that something like that could be. Yeah. But then look at his like his lawn is not that big. Like it's perfectly manicured, but it's not huge, is it? No, it's not. It's quite, quite respectfully sized.

Yeah. Certainly not as big as, say, an avocado farm. No, I think Tom Hanks is the good Tom and Tom Selleck is the evil Tom. And I've always been a fan of Tom Selleck. Tom Hanks didn't Tom Hanks sort of reveal his hand a little bit a couple of years ago? What didn't he? Wasn't he like shirty with somebody who like insulted his wife or something? And then people were like, Oh, maybe Tom, I mean someone insulted Mrs. F. I don't know. But he was like, he was like especially shitty about it.

Like, shall we do lose news? Yeah. Lose news. Okay. Lose news. So speaking of massive internet cunts, like, England. Guilty as charged. We notch the cunt who made Minecraft.

He has apparently tweeted, he wants to make Minecraft 2, and he's sent these bizarre tweets. I think he's just a bit of a prick. You met him! He also said one saying, I have a tiny penis. He literally tweeted that. So he says here, I intend for the money to be spent for good. Which I assume is in reference to how much money he made from Minecraft. And he's hoping that, he's thinking that Microsoft are doing a shitty job with it, and he wants to make a Minecraft too. And he's going to spend some of his vast wealth on it. I think somebody beat him to it already. It's called Roblox?

The world's changed. It's too late-notch. I don't understand... When people get very, very rich... You know Warren Buffett. He's one of the richest men in the world. Indeed. I know him very well. He's old. He's fucking old. He joined the Bill and Melinda Gates giving pledge back in the day, which was this idea that, you know, he signed this thing which basically said, I could... Even 1% of the money I have won't change my level of happiness in a way, but it will change other people's happiness. You know, if I give away 99% of my wealth, so I'm going to do that. And of course,

recently he turns out he's gone back on that and he's actually now just putting all of his money into a charitable foundation that's run by his like three kids, who are by the way, ancient as well. His children are 71, 66 and 69. Nice. His first kid runs this thing called the Sherwood foundation, which is very vague, but apparently they believe in Nebraska. They help. So it's basically Nebraska. So Nebraska's going to get, I don't know, a third of Buffett's fortune for something. The second child runs a charity or foundation, which again, it feels like one of these things that billionaires put together just to launder money called the Novo Foundation. It doesn't say what it does. It's got, the website basically says it's a holistic healing, and you know,

it's just a lot of wank, and it doesn't actually do anything, apparently. And then the third child, this is one of the richest men in the world, giving literally hundreds of billions of dollars to these foundations, and avoiding tax by doing it. The third chart, Howard J. Buffett, 69, his homepage features a lot of armed soldiers and he likes patrolling with the border police in Arizona. So that's going to be great. Um, you know, we'll see, we'll see whether, whether that... So hang on. This is, what is the news? This is Lou's news, right? What is the news? So his news was that Notch is going to make, Notch is going to make's take. Oh, that's sorry. Yeah, I forgot about Notch. Sorry.

But I, sorry, randomly said something that you were saying to me. Yeah, no, I was lost in the sauce big time there. I forgot. I just... What? Lewis, it's almost like you didn't plan out what you were gonna say carefully before you started speaking. I know. I just thought I'd share with you something that irritates me. God, I can't believe how much airtime Warren Buffett and his family have had on this podcast today. I can't believe it. Yeah, I lookett and his family have had on this podcast today. I look forward to the complaints about that.

Eight minutes. I just can't wait until the turn happens where these billionaires realise that they do need to start working on their image by giving money back to good causes, and not just hoarding it like absolute dragons. It's crazy. Or, please, just shut the fuck up. If you've got billions of dollars, fuck off, man. Like, okay, we don't need to hear from you at all, ever.

Just be quiet and enjoy your fucking fortune. You know, like it's some of it away. Do something good with it. Yeah. Or don't just fuck off. OK, we have a lot of money. I know. How much do they need? You don't need to rub it in my damn face every single day! Like, you know, I've got a lot of money, guess what, I'm not really gonna do much with it!

Eh, eh, eh, eh, fuck off! So, because every year new copyrights expire, and apparently 95 years ago was 1929, which was when Popeye came out, andintin and other things. So people are, there's actually a film company making a Popeye slasher movie. Right. Yeah. So there's like, you know, cause obviously certain other things have been in the puppet domain for a while, like Sherlock Holmes and Wizard of Oz, and things like that. So yeah, there's a bunch of things that... is it Winnie the Pooh as well, that

was happening? ALICE Yeah, well, listen to some Mickey Mouse stuff as well that was... RILEY Yeah, there was. But, cause you always hear that Disney's trying to fight it, but... yeah. In 2030, Mary Poppins will be out of copyright. In 2034, Superman will be out of copyright. And Bugs Bunny will be out of copyright in 2036. Oh, good heavens. Oh, Lord.

So get prep in those movies. These are gonna be some wild times. Oh, Jesus Christ. Sorry. I'm spooning, Lewis. Simon just came into my office and gave me a cuddle. Say hi. To who?

Hi, it's to Diggy Hole, man. Hello. Hello. Wait, Simon, Simon. Yeah. Did you know that there is a theme park in Belgium that is using Diggy Diggy Hole as the background music on one of its rides? I'm going to fucking sue that.

Yes! There we go. Let's fucking bring it, let's get Leonard J. Krabs involved. Hahaha Lewis was against it, he said he said let them let them, I'm glad and I was like

let them, I'm glad I was like sue these fucking Belgian bastards into the ground! What has Belgium ever given the world? Waffles? Chocolate? Mouffries? That's it! Chocolate's actually very good.

Jean-Claude Van Damme. Yeah, but look, all I'm saying is you've got to go to this theme park and you've got to have a rumble tumble with them and figure it out. Yeah. I'm not sure I'm in shape for that. Unleash the hounds. The legal hounds. Get the legal hounds.

Yeah, get Leonard J. Kra crabs and fucking sort that shit out. Should we just hire a bunch of goons, as in the muscly himbo types, to just come in and just... You know, like in the, uh, the, the mafia movies. Yes. Rough them up. But they try and get the protection money. Yeah. We should do that.

We should do that. Oh, it'd be a shame if, if this ride was to be all smashed up, then they'd start smashing all the lights. They'd start kicking it. It's then they'd start smashing all the lights. They'd start kicking it. It's a kids theme park, by the way. Fuck them kids. Well done.

No, not that way. No, not that way. All right, well, I can barely speak. Yeah, you sound poorly. I've had flu for like three weeks. Oh my God. So that's what's wrong. So you're just in to spread the residual now to everybody. Wait, my mum, Simon, my mum also has flu.

Coincidence? Well, I was French kissing her. Yeah, I was going to say. That's nasty. She's 80, dude. This flu could be dangerous, though. Could you maybe just sort of eat her out next time and not kiss her? Jesus Christ.

She lied about her age. She said she was 57! What the fuck! That's within my range. Alright, I'm gonna go have my cup of tea. Get well soon, Simon. Alright. See ya later. Bye!

Thank you. Good to see you. Ah, a little cameo. It's lovely. That is nice. That's a Yogg-Bod throwback. I felt these arms around my chest. I was like, what the fuck is this?

How is... it's like, frightening, but it's just... Only seven of them. I'm like, I'm gonna go get my cup of tea. I'm gonna go get my cup of tea. I'm gonna go get my cup of tea. I'm gonna go get my cup of tea. I'm gonna go get my cup of tea. I'm gonna go get my cup of tea. I'm gonna go get my cup of tea. I felt these arms around my chest. I was like, what the fuck is this? How is... It's like, frightening, but it's just...

Only Simon can get away with that. Sneaking in. What, hugging you? Oh, see. Well, sneaking into my... Sneaking in. Sneaking into your room and then hugging you. Oh god, it was...

Frightening. My first thought was like, how has my partner gotten into the office and found me and why are they... You know, it's like, I couldn't quite believe what was happening. It's quite frightening. But it was lovely to have a little guest come in and say hi. God, it doesn't happen very often, eh? Well, I think that's time for the end anyway.

Thanks for joining us, everyone. Thank you so much. I'm sorry for the very inappropriate joke about my mum that I made. Keep the emails coming. It was lewd. Someone said the email about the dead dog was lewd. I don't think you know what lewd means. Yeah, no, that wasn't very lewd.

But that comment about my mum, that was lewd. Very lewd. All right. We'll see you guys next time. Thank you for all the emails. I wish I was on lewds. If that helps. Bye!