Triforce! - Triforce! Mailbag Special #49: Wait, people listen to this?

Episode Date: February 12, 2025

Triforce Mailbag Special 49! We have a mixed bag today with money thief stories, falling into abandoned mineshafts, living in -60c northern Canada, saving lives, public embarrassments and we discover the origin of Sips' microwave fears! Go to http://auraframes.com/triforce to get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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On with the show. On with the show. All right, welcome. It's a mailbag. It is a mailbag mailbag episode. It's a mailbag. It is a mailbag. A mailbag. A mailbag. Email email.

A email bag. I'm sorry, I'm trying to do your aliens thing. Your little aliens jingle. The little alien one. It's weird. Very good. All right. I'll listen to it again right now, actually.

All right. Let's let's get into it. I've got a mixed bag, a mixed bag this this week. Here's one. This is from Zoe. I lost my shoe. Can you help me find it, please? Last saw it in my bedroom.

What? Oh, how do you find? How have, a bedroom can't be that big. It shouldn't be too hard to find one. One shoe is missing. But that is saying I lost my shoe last saw it in the bedroom, which that, that's just the last place. So they can remember seeing. Very well not be. Yeah. How do you look for things? What's your strat? I get in trouble for the way that I look for stuff all the time because I wonder if you look for things the way Mrs. F looks for things.

It could well be. What I tend to do is I open a cupboard expecting to find what I'm looking for immediately. And then I realized that actually, no, the cupboard is full of stuff that doesn't belong in the cupboard. I get pissed off, close the cupboard and I say, I can't find it. That's how I look for stuff. Wow. I did not see that coming. The whole give up strategy. Immediately. I open the cupboard and stuff falls out and it's like, and the stuff that falls out shouldn't be in there in the first place. Stuff is not put away properly or anything.

And then I just close the cupboard and I just say, Oh yeah, I love that I can't find it. You just give up immediately. I love that. I love that you get so annoyed by it as well. You just like sag. You're not even, yeah, you just skipped all of the frustration and all the other steps. I feel like that's a fairly common thing that people do. I don't, I don't feel like I'm alone in doing that. Is it because you have done this so many times and you feel like if you can't find it straight away you're not going to find it? Is that because your memory of where

it was means that it is now gone and impossible to find? Did you see what I mean? Like, you were sure it was there and now it's... And then since it's not, you're like, well, I'm never going to find it then. Al- I think there's always a lot of pressure associated. I mean, Flax will appreciate this. When you have kids, when you're asked to find something, it's usually in a rush. Yeah, it's normally like, I need to go to school. I can't find my bag. Yeah. And you're like, well, where do you put it?

Oh, and then you can't find my job. I have no jumpers. And you're like, where are they? And they have stuff down the back of the bed or something. All their school jumpers, all that kind of shit. Yeah. So, yes, it can be very frustrating. Mrs. F's way of looking for things is to stand in the back of the bed or something. All their school jumpers, all that kind of shit. Yeah. So, yes, it can be very frustrating. Mrs. F's way of looking for things is to stand in the middle of a room, turn in circles and go, I can't find it anywhere.

If she's looking for something in the cupboard, she will open the cupboard. If she can't see it immediately, she's like, oh, no, I can't find it anywhere. And I'll like, oh, my God, it's the same thing. I'll move one thing. I'm like, it's here. It's there. Oh, thank you, love. Now, my youngest is very good at finding things. She has a good memory for if she sees if something's been put somewhere, she'll go like, I think I saw it.

Oh, I think it was upstairs and she'll go and she'll dig around and she's found it. She's very good at that. Mrs. F terrible at looking for things, but she also realizes that if she gives up, I'll go, no, I'll find it for you. So it might be our youngest is really good at finding stuff. Our youngest is really good at finding stuff in the midst of the chaos of everybody looking for something. Yeah.

Everybody will be really pissed off yelling, looking for something. And then she'll just sort of stroll out of left field, holding the thing that we're all looking for, like it was no big thing, you know, she'll just be like, oh, here. There's a couple of things which I routinely lose, right? Which are headphones and umbrella and gloves, right? Things like this, right? There's a couple of things that I, obviously, mostly I keep my keys and my phone in my jacket pockets or something like this. So they're not hard to find, right? But I've just got multiple umbrellas, multiple sets of gloves

and multiple headphones. So that way I could just grab whichever one is most accessible at the time and then I can leave in a rush. And I don't have to run up and down and check under the covers or check in the bathroom if I took them off up there or something like that. Do you know what I mean? I think that's my solution. Did I tell you when I was on holiday, I lost some of my travel money. Did I tell you this? I don't remember. I don't remember. You had travel money? Well, I have like a couple hundred euros left over from...

How many euros? ...to Rotterdam. Couple of hundred euros, like 200 euros. That's all. How much cocaine does that buy in Spain? Not much. I didn't get to find out, Sips, because it just disappeared out of my wallet. Oh, stolen? Well, here's the thing. I didn't pay, I paid the entire trip.

I was away the whole two weeks. The only time I paid for anything was on my phone. I just had to use the card on my phone. But everything was really convenient. But I'd also paid for like a lot of stuff in advance, right? Hotels and stuff like this. And so I bought my wallet just in case. Got my cards in and my drivers. And it had all this travel money in and it never left my bag, right? That was in the hotel room for the whole week. And so I was like racking my brains. I was like, how could this have been stolen? Right? Because

I've never in my 41 years on this earth had anything stolen out of a hotel room. I remember when I was at cadet camp one time, I had some, we had to pay for something like that. There was some thing we had to pay for. We'd all be told to bring money with us. And I couldn't find my money. And I searched everywhere. I searched in my whole bag. I couldn't find it anywhere. Anyway, I told the guy I couldn't pay because I couldn't find my money. And he was like, well, why didn't you bring it? And I was like, yeah, I did bring it. And he was like, well, where's it gone? I was like, I've lost it. And he was like, has it been stolen? And I was like, I don't think so. But you know, and then they turned the

whole barracks upside down. They did this thing where they were like, no one's leaving. Everyone's going to search for this money, it's been stolen. Did you have to stand in the middle of the barracks with your pants down and your thumb while they were looking for it? I kind of did. It was kind of this embarrassing thing because everyone was like kind of angry with me for it. And I sort of felt like, and they felt like I was accusing them of stealing and stuff. And eventually about sort of, you know, 20 minutes later, I was just rummaging through my stuff and I found it stuffed into

the bottom of one of my shoes. And I realised that I had fucking done that. I'd actually, I put it there for safety and completely forgotten. And of course I got it out and was like, oh, I fucking found it. It's here. And so everyone was like, oh, relieved. And it carried on eventually, but uneventfully. And I remember this moment with great embarrassment for my whole life. And so I'm very reticent to say that it was a maid or something in the hotel or some criminal came in or maybe they just... But the thing is my wallet's still got all the cards in, it's still got all my stuff in, it's just the money that's gone. And it's kind of like, was it me?

Did I not bring it with me? But when I got home... Is there a resolution to this? Only cash is missing. So only cash is missing, there's no resolution. But is there a resolution to this? You still don't know what happened to it? I didn't report here or anything when I was away, because I thought maybe I just didn't

bring it with me. You see what I mean? I thought maybe it would be at my desk when I get home. And it wasn't and it's not here. And it's fairly obvious because it's like a couple of hundred euros and it's not turned up in the last two weeks either, like since I've been back. So I think it got nicked and I don't, I can't think where, you know, I asked my partner cause I was like, should I give it to you for safekeeping?

Like I've gone through my whole luggage since I got back and I didn't like put it anywhere weird. It didn't come in like a post office travel envelope or anything like that, right? So I think it's definitely unique. But because my wallet never left my top of my bag the whole time, someone must have gone and opened my... Had an opportunity at some point to open my bag, get my wallet out. This was in the hotel room as well and take it and put it back. And

again, I don't mind, really. Like, I'm not like that... I'm not like that shaken up about it, because... But it does, like, make you think, either am I getting senile, or did someone go through my bag? So I never use those little safes in the hotel room either. ALICE No, I always forget to use them as well. ALICE Which I should do. ALICE I used them a couple of times. There's a couple of times where I thought, you know what, just to be safe, I'm going to use the safe.

But then you spend the whole time stressing like, Oh, can I remember the code? What if the safe doesn't unlock? What if I can't get my important stuff out of there? What if there's a back door? You know, like what if like, you know, what if the back of the safe just opens up? There's a secret hatch where everybody can access the safes. What if they won't be caught on CCTV stealing or anything? And then it's like one of those sucky pipe things they have in banks.

Yeah, but the kids could be an episode of midsummer murders, you know, like you could get the hotel all set up so that you can just steal from every safe. I mean, I've got my theory about what happened. I'll talk to you about it later, I guess, but we'll see. Okay. It's too hot for the cast. It's too hot for the podcast. Yeah.

All right. Okay. Bloodletting. You think my partner was stealing from me? Yeah. Okay. No, that makes sense. I haven't heard from her since, honestly.

So. Bloodletting in Jersey. Yes. It's a hot topic at the moment. Bloodletting recommended for Jersey residents after PFAS contamination. Brandon emailed me, thank you, Brandon. They've been recommending bloodletting, which is apparently still happening in 2020. To like 30 people on the island.

To reduce high concentrations of forever chemicals in their blood. After tests showed some islanders of levels that can lead to health problems. What's up? Well, there was some, back in the 90s, they awarded a contract to a company to like clean out some pipes or something they used for like... It was at the airport apparently. Yeah, close to the airport. So just down from the airport is where the contamination happened.

But it was basically the same stuff like, you know, like the, the, the, uh, the DuPont, like three G, you know, the, the chemicals they put in the, uh, in like in the carpet stuff and Teflon and shit. Yeah. Three M. Yeah. Like the big firefighting foam stuff. Yeah. So they, uh, they cleaned out these pipes using some of this stuff and it contaminated a water supply. And there's about, I think, I think there's like, like 30 people or something that are still affected by it. And now they're recommending bloodletting to reduce the amount of bloodletting is a thing. These things, these nasty forever chemicals that are are in them through some contaminated drinking water. And I think there's like some degree of this stuff exists, well, almost everywhere,

but certainly in the reservoirs over here and stuff as well. But the recommendation is not for a hundred thousand people to do bloodletting. Right. It's just like there's like 30 people. The ones that are most affected. Yeah. But this is a story that keeps coming back because it was very controversial back in Right. It's just like, there's like 30 people that are recommending it. The ones that are most affected. Yeah. But this is a story that keeps coming back because it was very controversial back in

the day when it was discovered that this stuff had happened, that there was contamination and people just, you know, rightly were fucking pissed off about it and are still pissed off about it because, you know, it's just, it's not what you what you expect you know I think there's a lot of disappointment and a lot of anger and yeah so now they're saying that these people should get some bloodletting so I'm not one of them by the way I moved here in 2003 yeah as far as I know I don't need to do any bloodletting so I'll leave it for now but if the recommendation comes through I'll be first in line I'll be budding to get up there for my bloodletting. But for now, no bloodletting required.

Thanks so much. There you go. So do you guys remember we were talking about, I think Lewis was talking about some plastic crap he bought from China and how cheap it was. I thought you were talking about that in one of the mail. No, I didn't buy plastic stuff. Yeah, so Lewis brought it up and I looked into it and then we were talking about the wigs. Yeah, I thought I did buy and I looked into it and then we were talking about the wigs.

Yeah, I thought I did buy like a knockoff Lego set. Oh, that's right, that's right. So this is from, they want to remain anonymous because they work for a company. After the discussion you had on manufacturing with plastic, I thought I'd share my experience of working in a plastic slash rubber making factory in Wrexham. We make parts for a well-known British brand that rhymes with shaguar and randover amongst others. So figure it out.

We also make our own brand of bikes and exercise equipment. To answer your question on production costs, the price for us to produce a part is less than half a penny. But when it's shipped out, it's significantly marked up to cover labor and transport costs. This, I believe in China, is different as the wages are so much lower. It's why an average part from us is about 40 quid, yet the price to make it is so low.

I've attached a link of an old promo video of our factory. If you want to see it, I have it. This promo video is two minutes long. I'll pop it in the Discord. Okay. Okay. We won't name the Discord. Okay. Okay. We won't name the company. Don't name the company.

Right, okay. Wow, they've got a car park. There's a lad working on a machine, plastic bits are spitting out. More machines. Don't describe it too accurately. Oh, try not to. A bicycle there. Oh, this is something else.

Look at this. It's like an episode of How It's Made. Only... But without the sexual assaulter. With more pictures of Warehouse. It's back now, Patty McGuinness is the new host. Oh, there you go. Two business guys meeting.

Oh my god! There's some CAD. I had a fright, I thought that was Greg there for a second. He made an appearance. Greg? God. It's just another old man. Is that Alistair Campbell that just walked in?

It looked just like him. It did look a just like him. It did look a bit like him. They're making rubber things. Rubber stuff. Rubber shaped. Plastic parts. A lot of plastic stuff.

Look at these rubber parts you guys are making. Look at this. For keeping the world going. Yeah, more bloody plastics. That's a thing. And then there's like, yeah, anyway, I think that's enough for that. Cool. So just imagine, listeners, I realize that was probably the worst piece we've ever done.

Sorry, yeah. I mean, it's, we're watching a video and just, we had to get, we're doing our research here where you had to get some reference, you know, it's important. It's like a warehouse on an industrial park making like bits of rubber tubing and rubber plates and things. It actually kind of cool. So yeah, they all look weird though, because they're all obviously custom for a specific part of a car or like thing that needs a very specific...

It's like 3D printing, but for rubber kind of thing. You know, that's what it is. 3D printing for rubber. Does that mean that they could 3D print rubber boots? Oh, sorry. Yes. Yeah. Rubber boots. I thought you were going to say a custom shaped dildo, which I assumed would have been your Rubber boots. Oh, sorry. Yes. Yeah. Rubber boots. I thought you were going to say a custom shaped dildo, which I assumed would have been your go-to. Very common French-Canadian last name. Every French-Canadian seems to be either called Jongi rubber boots or Jongi Tupperware.

So it's a little... some Canadianisms for you right there. It's a little Canadian joke. Yeah. All right. This is from Ben. I was recently in a car accident that wrote off my old 2009 car. It was on the motorway and an idiot hit the brakes hard to avoid a queue, which made a skipped lorry driver brake hard and I went into the back of the skipped driver's lorry.

Somehow I came out without a single injury. The skipped driver was lovely, said he knew it wasn't either of our faults. It was the twat at the front who drove off. We exchanged details and off I drove drove the last six minutes to work. Later that day, I gave the skip driver a call. He said he wasn't going to claim on his insurance for repairs as there was no damage to his vehicle. I thanked him for being so nice about the whole situation to which he replied, it's

all right, Ben, you know, you're one of my own. At least you're not a foreigner who came over here and did it on purpose like they do. Mouth agape at what he just said. I quickly thanked him and hung up. Thanks for my spruce, we get tied by the Triforce podcast. Yeah, you know, what could I say, Ben? There's a lot of racists out there and some of them have cars. I think like, I think you can have your views

and then not share them like that, you know? Yeah, but the assumption is- Keep it private. You're white, I'm white, we should be on the same team and hate these non white people, like especially as a bold middle aged man, like I've spoken about this before. That's ridiculous. You get in a cab, the cabbie will be like, oh, here's one of mine.

He's one of us. Yeah. He's going to hate foreigners and women as much as I do. And it's like, well, you know, I'm just going to have to nod because otherwise we're stuck in a really awkward situation. Ben, you should you should phone the police and report a hate crime. I don't think you can if there's no, when they're, that they're hating on, they're just expressing their opinion. No, no, just report the skip driver.

Just say I've had a really, a really unpleasant interaction with a fellow member of the public that I would like to report. I'd like to make it aware. Maybe you can be put on some sort of like register or something. God, I hope not. I hope that you can't be. We are going to be fucked if that's the case. Yeah, we have said some shitty stuff on this podcast.

Anyway, hello, my favorite podcast group. This is from Dravidian. I've been listening to you guys, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I work in the Arctic parts of Canada, mainly Nanavut. Yeah. But also sometimes the northern parts of the Northwest Territories. I really do work, I generally do work within retail stores in the area and I'm always listening to podcasts as I usually work alone.

I thought I would share some interesting facts about Arctic Canada from my experience working here. Some of the most northern parts of Nanavut in the winter can reach temperatures in the minus 50 degrees centigrade. Minus 50. But can feel colder with the wind. I've worked within sea cans which act almost as freezers up north and can feel like minus 60 or colder.

Oh. I've done inventory in these sea cans with a computer handheld to enter the items. It was so cold the handheld immediately stopped working. I was forced to start using a pen and paper to take inventory but the pen ink froze. I would no longer work. I was then forced to retrieve a pencil. It was the only thing would work in such freezing temperatures. The temperature is so cold that exposed skin can experience frost bite within a minute. The temperature is so cold I can almost describe it as feeling hot. The wind can be so strong and freezing it literally feels like it cuts your skin. That is insane. Yeah.

I used to walk to school in those conditions sometimes. Minus 60. No, I was like minus minus 40 at least once with windchill. Yeah, it's bad. I had like big balls of ice at the end of each of my eyelashes when I got to school. Oh my goodness. It was rough. Yeah.

In retail stores up north, the top selling products in the entire store is soda, followed by chips, followed by cigarettes. The Inuit people are the locals who live in these small communities that sometimes barely reach a population of a thousand. I thought I would share this fact regarding the consumption as the Inuit primarily in the past lived off the land in these harsh environments and were extremely healthy. Due to southerners, as we are called by the locals, introducing these items to them, diabetes and poor health is at an all timetime high in some of these communities.

Speaking of health, since communities are so small, they don't have any hospital or proper health care in almost any of the communities. Besides a few major ones like the capital, I'm going to mispronounce this, Iqaluit. If you have any serious medical issues and need a proper doctor, procedure or surgery, you have to fly south. If you succumb to a major emergency they can send up a medevac to take care of you but then you get a bill of about $10,000. Hunting is still a large part of the culture here, mainly being seals, polar bears, and even boating in the summer to hunt gnar walls with harpoons. Interesting fact about gnar walls is if you successfully hunt one, their large singular tusk is removed and measured. If you're lucky enough to get a giant tusk,

they can be taller than seven feet. You can actually sell them for 20, 30, or even $40,000 and up depending on size and buyout. That's like four medivacs. Yeah. For the lads who got injured, catch the gnar war. Yeah, right.

Of course, if you think it have come up to do so, there is hunting limitations in place. Most of the hunting is restricted to local people. Due to these extreme weather conditions with blizzards and high winds, it is extremely normal for flights to be delayed and usually cancelled. You can get stuck in a community for sometimes a week or longer waiting for a plane to arrive. The planes that are flown are usually much smaller aircraft designed to be flown in the northern conditions and tailored to the fact that sometimes there's only 10 or 20 people

on the plane. It's interesting that people live in such a harsh climate. I couldn't do it. Yeah. Yeah, I could do it either. A last quick fact. Pretty much all of the land Nanavut covers, there are no trees as the permafrost in the soil is frozen year round, not allowing trees to grow. Although a lot of parts of Nanavut do actually get warm during the brief summer,

the permafrost below is still frozen at the soil layer. Wow. That is fantastic. Thank you, Drew. Thanks very much. Just some really cool facts about Northern Canada. You don't hear a lot about Northern Canada. I think you just sort of kind of look for the map and assume it's like it's cold and probably uninhabited, but it just shows crazy. I mean, it reminds me of when I flew over the Arvic, the Arvic diamond mines. I'm sure I spoke about this before. Yes, you did. Yeah.

But if you look it up, look on a map where it is and zoom out, like that's the offices. If you look for the avic diamond mine offices. But if you look for the avic diamond mine, it's way out there. Like, it's absolutely crazy how. What were you doing all the way out there? Flying. I was in the I was in the air. But why? Where are you flying to? Just as a sightseeing tour?

No, LA. All right. Yeah. It flies in over the Arctic Circle pretty much. Oh, of course. Yeah. So, yeah. So it's got the offices here, which is much more southern, but the actual mine itself is way up in the North. If you look it up on Wikipedia, it's really interesting. Yeah, I remember you spoke about this before. I spent the whole podcast looking at it. Yeah, it's crazy. So if you look for pictures of it and everything, it's a very, very odd looking place. But I mean, the people that live up there, it's a similar kind of deal.

It's like tiny sort of community, going to be measurable weather conditions year round. But I don't know. I can't imagine what's the success rate of mining diamonds up there. Like how many how many diamonds are they at level one level forty six? When they don't know, I don't know. I genuinely know. No level 12. They need to be at. What are you talking about? Oh, it's a minecraft.

Yeah, it is. Yeah. That's it used to be the case that you had to be at a certain level. Oh, I see. Well, Minecraft fans would have enjoyed that one. I don't get it. Sorry. No, it's all right. This is some recent news from the Diorvic diamond mine. It might have been greatly mistaken at first to look at the mine in the barren landscape of Northern Canada and think nothing more than another mining company that digs for stones. It has now become a precedent for renewable energy. This could be bollocks, but we'll carry on. Apparently they have installed a 3.5 megawatt

solar power station in the area, which is the largest solar project in all of Canada's territories. The largest off-grid solar project on all of Canada's territories. It has 6,620 panels designed to capture sunlight and light reflected by snow. And I think that it's used for mining. So they're using that many solar panels for mining. They're just only using it for mining. They won't share. No, no, no, sorry. This is for mining only. This is just for mining.

This is for energy mining only. Special. It's really special. If you try to use it for anything else, it'll blow up. It'll blow up. It's not usable. Only mining energy. That's it.

You know that the cost for diamonds, natural, quote unquote, diamonds, are still higher than artificial diamonds. Really? Yeah. But here's an idea. only use for mining. So you know that the cost for diamonds, natural, quote unquote, diamonds, are still higher than artificial diamonds. Really? Yeah.

But here's an idea. Just build the manufacturing facility underground and tell people you mined them. Yeah. And you're just cranking them out. Oh my God. You could get like, get Disney in to do like a facade so it looks like a real diamond mine. You know, like, they could- But it would be a Disney-fied diamond mine.

They could imagine you're the shit out of that though, to make it look like authentic. But then behind the scenes, it's like basically a huge meth lab. We mine the diamonds. Keep them tight. We mine the racks for uncle Walt. Let's get the diamonds in the vault. Do that. I mean, you know, you'd be like, no, no, no, it has to be authentic. Like this is how they mine it. Yeah could just do that. I mean, you know, you'd be like, no, no, no, it has to be authentic. Like this is how they mine it. Yeah, this is authentic. This is this is authentic.

Yeah, that'd be cool. That's a good idea. Just get the facility down underground and make it look like it's a mine. Yeah. And you just have a handful. You just come out every day with like a big bag of gems. Well, I think diamonds. Another good day in the mine guys! Look at how many diamonds we found!

Perfect diamond, Tommor! Pretty wild! So when I was in Cornwall, I found, when I was walking around, I saw there was a lot of like abandoned mineshafts. Did you go down any of them? And, well, no, because they're just frightening, right? They're literally littering the landscape. This shaft, which goes down ridiculously deep.

Do you think that any of those are haunted by ghosts? And I would also like to ask the question, why do people believe that, say, something like a spooky looking mineshaft is more likely to be haunted by a ghost than, say, a really modern, fresh looking, minimalist, decorated apartment or something. You never see, well, they never have. Well, ghosts can move around surely, you know? How do you know? Well, okay. Yeah. How do I know? I'm the one being questioned. How do I know? I'm wondering why the setting has to be the same all the time for ghosts.

It always has to be some crappy old dilapidated house in the bayou or whatever. Why don't they ever haunt anything more pleasant to be in? Like what? Yeah, you'd think they'd all be hanging out in like... The cinema. Yeah. The girls' locker room. And the thing is, there might be a modern block of flats built on an old...

Cemetery. Burial ground. Burial ground or something. Exactly. And the thing is, there might be like a modern block of flats built on like an old cemetery, burial ground or something. Exactly. So the ghosts would have to exist in there, but you never see, they never cover it on TV. You never see these modern like lush flats that are haunted. No, it's always like some dreary crappy old, I think you've solved it. So anyway, one of the things I was worried about walking around

was falling into one. I saw a post about it the other day and this guy said, basically, I'll read you it because I found it. It's like, Simon and my host, Simon and my host used to do this confession show on the radio where people would write in their stories. This is one which was sent in. Dear Simon, this confession is aimed at an unknown Cornish farmer. We didn't stay long enough to find out his name who lets out a field to campers. Four of us pitched our tent in his field one Friday, shortly before opening time. Well, at 11 o'clock, they poured us out of the village in and we were wobbling back up the moonlit lane when Steve thought he'd sussed out a shortcut

across the fields. Uh oh. Walking anywhere wasn't easy by then, but we climbed over the gate and set across the grass. Cornwall has loads of abandoned tin mines and we'd only gone a little way, for we stumbled onto a flimsy fence around a very big, black hole. The fields were dotted with open shafts and this one was particularly large. Someone had the bright idea of seeing how deep it was. So we tossed a stone in and listened for the sound. Nothing. Then a rock gets lobbed in. Again, not a sound. So then Steve and I leave a boulder out of the ground and manhandle it over the edge. Again, not a peep. We were determined to find out how deep it was, but there isn't a lot lying around in your average field that's going to make a lot of noise.

Then Brett and Russell discovered a railway sleeper and tossed that into the void. So we're all craning forward around the edge for some sound when suddenly this chain comes snaking through the grass between us and a goat with a clump of grass in its mouth goes flying straight past us into the hole. That's a very old joke. Obviously, the farmer tethered the goat to the sleeper to stop it wandering down one of the shafts, but he hadn't banked on the sleeper going in first. The goat didn't even

get a chance to bleat. That sobered us right up and we left early the next day for Devon. That is a very old joke. Well, it's a very old story. This was from 20 years ago, this story. No, no, it's a literal joke. Well, sorry, you mean it's an urban myth or whatever? No, no, I mean it's a joke. It's just a joke.

It is actually a joke. And they just turned it into a story. But this is what happens, right, with all of these like, Confessions of Reddit things. They're all fake, you know, like all of them are fake and they were fake 20 years ago. This was 2020 years ago. Do you know what I mean? I mean, for them to chuck something down and not hear the sound. Do you know how deep that would have to be? Like insane. Like it would be the deepest thing ever, Doug, for them to literally be waiting. And yes, of course it's gibberish. It's gibberish. And I should know because I've had to look

through several made up stories. Someone sent me one in saying that the logos of Mercedes Benz, BMW and someone else are based on the airplane propellers that they used to manufacture during the war. I'm totally untrue. Luckily I looked it up. I'm gonna try and not spread this information.

When you looked it up, where did you look it up? Wikipedia and various articles written by like car fans about the origin of the logos. Right. So BMW or BMW, sorry, it was just BMW. It's like the Bavarian background is like that sort of blue and white pattern or something like that. And Mercedes-Benz merged with another company and has the three points because it's like the three pillars of excellence or something. It's like, it's like a literal standard corporate logo shit. Right. It's nothing to do with World War II and propellants. It's just made up.

That's made up. Right. Yeah. I think so much is. According to Wikipedia. It doesn't mean you can't get a little smile out of it, P-Flex, you know? I'm just sensitive to it because of the dog story, alright? After the dog story, I had people, a lot of people messaging me about the fact it was fake because they listened to the podcast. Oh, the dog in the suitcase story. And they immediately mailed it.

So I've had that for two weeks. What was the deal with the dog in the suitcase? It's just an urban myth. It's an old urban myth. What was the other one about the- Her dog had died and she was taking it to somewhere and someone stole it. Where the dog had somebody else's underpants in their stomach. Is that one an urban myth?

I don't know that one either. I don't know, yeah, probably. I think we all know someone who loves taking photos, but their hundreds of pictures are just wasting away on their phone. Why not start putting it to good use with a unique, stylish digital picture frame from AuraFrame? So this week, my dad got back from his holiday and was setting up his Christmas present. We sent him an AuraFrame and he has, I had no idea how many pictures my dad has.

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All right, let's move on. I saved a life while listening to the Triforce podcast. Do you want to hear this one? Sure. I think we've heard this before, haven't we? Well, I'm an apprentice plumber. And occasionally when I have to do some basic chores, I put on the podcast to make things more bearable. Honestly, Sips, I've lost count of the amount of people, listeners who have saved lives while listening to the Triforce podcast. I can only recall one other, honestly.

It's every fucking week, dude. It was the awkward conversation between the medical tech and the, I think it was like the police officer or whatever. I think he said something and she said, I have a gaping vagina, like on the scene of a rescue or a crime or something. That's the one I was thinking of. No, this is a slightly different one. I put on the podcast when I'm doing my plumbing to make things more bearable. One day, as I was packing up some tools and tidying my work van,

I heard what sounded like a loud yawn followed by a quiet thump. The house next door to where I was working had a pair of tree surgeons doing some basic hedge trimming. And when I looked to see where the noise came from I saw a person in a high-vis outfit lying on the ground with his colleague standing next to him. Immediately I thought someone had cut a hand off but when I looked closer I could see him shaking. I quickly walked over the fence and asked if everything was alright but the other man

was being strangely quiet. I asked if he needed an ambulance to be called and he said yes. Convidiently, my boss had just walked past so I got him to call 999 whilst I went over to help. The man on the ground was having an epileptic seizure, which had apparently happened before. He suggested we just let him sleep it off, which I thought was genuinely insane. When he stopped seizing I could hear what sounded like snoring, and his colleague once again suggested we let him sleep it off.

I have no formal medical or first aid training, but my knowledge snoring in these situations usually means the person is swallowing their tongue. So I put the person into a basic recovery position. It was at this point I realized I still had my earphones in. Lewis was reading another terrible AI haiku. It was a strange feeling when I nearly laughed in an emergency situation. I pushed on and attempted to communicate with the colleague who'd been almost silent the entire time.

Looking back, the man was clearly in shock and didn't know what to do, but I ended up barking orders at some random man whilst I tried to prop up an unconscious body. After 10 minutes an ambulance arrived and there was nothing we could do. We asked if we could leave and we left. He was dead. He's dead, there you go. He's dead. There's nothing we can do.

He's dead. Put him in this suitcase. He was dead. He's dead, there you go. He's dead. There's nothing we can do. He's dead. Put him in this suitcase. Quick stuff these underpants into his stomach. Here's another one. This is from Jordan. Mailbag 45 made me look insane on a busy train. I was on my way home from a day in the office, London, back to Stafford, when I was listed

to mail bag 45. Train was busier than usual due to cancellation, so I had to sit on the fold-out seats packed in. When you start reading out the words banned by the sponsored video, I tried my best to hold in my laughter, Sips went down the list in alphabetical order, but as Sips shouted the words muff-diver, I burst out laughing in front of everyone, which made me look silly. Sorry, Jordan. I could just imagine.

Oh man. Oh man. Thanks for listening to the podcast. That just fills my heart with joy. I love that. I love that. Whether you're on a packed train or saving lives. It is nice to hear that people are listening to the podcast. I don't know. It just sounds weird

to say that. I know. But we sort of forget that sometimes. We just sort of shove this stuff off into the void and hope for the best, you know? Somebody out there is listening. For me, this is the time we come together and we get to catch up with you guys. It's nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's nice. I forget that other sometimes. You know what I've noticed though? I kind of, you know when, before we start recording, I don't like to hang out in the recording room while we're waiting for all three of us to get here. I wait until you guys are in there. Cause I always think if we go in there, I'm going to get, I'm going to start chatting. And when we start chatting, there'll be stuff that we'll talk about that we should have talked about in the podcast. So stuff will happen and I'll be like, Oh, I'll tell the lads about that on Thursday.

But I don't tell you at the time. Well, here's the thing. It's a little bit like a discord chicken though, because I find that I look on the discord and no one's there and I'm like, Hmm, why is that? And then it's obviously because you are there. You're just waiting for me and Sips to appear. But I'm not in there because I'm thinking you're not there. So I'm like, I go, I'm like, oh, they're not, yeah, they, I'll go make a cup of tea.

Do you know what I mean? So I always, I always come on straight away because I'm always late. I'm always like, you always come on straight away. Oh, okay. That's a relief. All right. As long as one of us is. You know, I know if me and Sips are just in the channel, we'll end up chatting.

Yeah. And it's like, oh, this is, I would have, now we're going to talk about it again on the podcast. I know. It's never the same when you talk about it the second time. The first time is usually perfect. And then if you're just repeating the story, you've just told it and you're like, ah. Well, I've found myself doing that with other things though as well, because I'll be telling someone else, like my parents or Ben or someone in the office about something, a story that happened.

And halfway through I'll be like thinking, oh man, I should be doing this on the podcast. Now I've told it to you. I'm going to think I've told it on the podcast and, and then I'm not going to tell it on the podcast, you know? So I'm like, even like, I'm like holding back from do it, talking to other people about stuff. Stupid. Oh, well, there we go. Got any more mail bags? Yeah, yeah, of course. from talking to other people about stuff. Stupid. Ugh.

Well, there we go. Got any more mailbag stuff? Yeah, yeah, of course. French fry ball. This is only eating strangely. I would probably eat it honestly, but... Oh. I thought that was an event.

No. It's not a condition. The French fry ball. Oh, I've got a bit of French fry ball. Ugh. All this talk about eating things strangely triggered a memory of how I used to eat French fries in a horrifyingly grotesque way when I was a kid. I used to take one fry at a time, insert them between my cheek and teeth until they formed

one giant fry ball on the inside of my mouth like a hamster basically. In order to make it the fry ball, a fry would get chomped down as if on a conveyor belt going through some kind of crushing device. It's got to be a special place in hell for people like this. You know, you go to hell and they're giving you the tour and you're like, yeah, this room don't pay too much attention to it. These people all have fry balls in their mouths. We leave them here and let them just do their own thing.

It's it's honestly making me gag a little bit because I can just imagine it. And David, I hate that. I absolutely hate that. Well, well, well, don't hang on. I'm just joking around. You're not going to go to hell for that. It's fine. When you're a kid, you do stupid stuff. Everybody knows. Is it like a hash brown? Basically a fry ball. Well, no, it's more it's shaped like, like maybe like a. A puck. It's like a puck.

It's like a puck or sometimes maybe like a guitar pick, you know? Yeah. But is it a puck? Just a squashed ball? Yeah, but it's made that way. And it's different texture. He's deliberately making chips into a giant mushy ball in his mouth. Just eat the fucking chips. I try not to think about what happens to all of that. You know, you chew stuff and you eat it, you swallow it and it all

goes down into the same hole. Like I don't want to know. I've seen what that looks like when it comes back up as well. I'll tell you one thing, where I draw the line with weird ways to eat or whatever, I used to work with a guy who would, he would eat something and then he would take a big sip of diet Coke and he would like swish it around in his mouth. ALICE Oh, I hate that. That's so gross.

ALICE I just can't handle that at all. So gross. It would be like... ALICE I don't like the mouth sounds and all that. ALICE Yeah, it's disgusting. You can just imagine all the food like, you know, turning into little bits and mixing in with the Diet Coke. Ugh.

ALICE Alright, that's disgusting. I don't want to put anyone off their lunch if they're listening to this. I do try and avoid watching other people eat when I'm at a restaurant. I'm like a fucking animal now, I don't pay attention to anything when I'm eating. I'm sweating, I'm focused. Well, not exactly. Man, the fucking world may as well just stand still while I'm eating. And not even for long, because I eat fucking fast.

Like, everybody else is still working on their first hash brown. My whole plate is like empty. I'm like licking the plate, snarling, like asking people if they're done. You're gonna eat that fry bowl? Exactly. Oh shit. Alright, this is from Harry. Thought I'd write in with my weird eating habit, as everyone at work comments on this

every time I'm seen doing it, I eat my cereal without milk dry. Okay. Every, every fucker that walks into my office asks, is that dog food? Cause his favorite cereal is Craves. So Craves by the way, is just sugar dude. You should get a different cereal. It's just a sugary snack. I don't think it's crazy to eat cereal without milk. Like if you're just snacking on it,

like my kids have all done that. Like, you know, you're not going to give them like when they're like two years old, you're not going to give them a full bowl with like milk in it. Stuff's a pain in the ass. You just give them like some dry in a little cup and they, you know, they

just snack on it. It's fine. Sure. I don't. But this is like this isn't him snacking on it. This is him having a bowl of it. Right. It's fine. Sure. I don't. But this is like this isn't him snacking on it. This is him having a bowl of it. Right. He's using a spoon and everything and eating it. Yeah, like he's eating it like a bowl of soup, but with no milk. But this is where it gets even weirder.

He has a drink of milk with the cereal. What to help wash it down. Yeah, to wash it down. OK. But he doesn't. He doesn't like the fact that he stops being crunchy. I thought he was just snacking on them. Like, you know, that's fine. I've done that. I used to love that. Yeah.

But yeah, no, he just eats the dry cereal because he doesn't, he hates it. If it goes soggy, how do you guys have your porridge? I don't eat porridge. I think it's gross. Okay. What about you, Lewis? I make so every Sunday I have some big, long porridge. Go on. I use coarse oat meal.

One part oat meal to, I think it's two and a half water. And that goes in the instant pot pressure cooker. Takes about 18 minutes. And then I put flax seed in there. And then I have a portion of it with like a banana or some blueberries or whatever. And I put the rest in the fridge and I have it like over the course of a few other days and it's very healthy. I recommend it. Good breakfast. Delicious. Highly recommended. One cup of oats to a cup and a half of milk. Two and a half of water. And then I let it cook. I cook it. I like it to be a bit creamy. I don't want it to be too chunky.

So I make sure- I think you're using rolled oats by the sounds. Yes. And then I serve that with some raisins. I love having raisins in my porridge. Raisins! Oh, do you? Yeah. Really nice. Amazing. Yeah, really nice. Your sounds very, um, very nourishing. Basic. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, like prison food. Very easy. Yeah, it is prison food. The one I have, the coarse, the rough oatmeal is like the unsquashed oats. They're tough, they're hard. You have that for breakfast, you're not hungry again until like, the afternoon. Yeah, because it puts you off food. It fills you up so much, it's so good.

Honestly, good with a bit of fruit. I wish I wasn't so lazy, I would have it every morning, like it is the best thing to have in the morning. You can get microwavable instant porridge, it's really decent. There's only one problem with that. Go on. No microwave. Of course he doesn't!

No. Wow. Yeah. Well, I wouldn't recommend getting a pressure cooker either, because if there's no space for microwave then you should get that one first. Yeah. Priorities. Microwave first, then air fryer. I got a kettle, I can just boil some water. You know, that'd be one of the ones. Yeah, but you'd be lazy to do it.

So this would solve that problem. Yeah. Can you put milk in a microwave? Yes. Yes. Fucking everything in there. That's disgusting. You can't put metal. You can't put metal in there. Yeah. That's true. You can't put a cup of liquid mercury. Or living things. No. Yeah. You can't dry your dog off. Or a magnet. I think a magnet. Well, actually, I guess it's only it's only.

You can't warm up your baby in there. That's the crack addicts only. It's only magnetic metals you can't put in the microwave. Well, I put something in there the other day that was metal and it was making some very odd noises and it was a fucking carton of soup. Like the car. Wow. And it was, I was like, was it like, sure.

It shouldn't be making that noise. Zipping and zapping. It was going like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we took it out and it said on the carton in big letters, do not microwave carton. I was like, oh, sorry, sorry. My bad. I was younger. I was at my friend's house and his plates had like a, like, like a gold trim around

them. You know, yes. Oh yes! Oh my god, I had this as well! And I didn't realize I put this plate into the microwave, I can't remember what we were making, and he's like, no don't! I'd started it already and it was like zhoom zhoom zhoom and zipping and zapping everywhere. You can't put those ones in the microwave! I was like, fuck I didn't know!

That's what gave you the fucking lifelong fear of the microwave. Yeah. Maybe that's the, that was the trauma point. Maybe that. Oh my God. Solved it. And maybe that's it. Oh wow. Okay. We need to, we need to overcome this. When you're in the next slot of the office, we're going to make some stuff in the microwave and we're going to overcome your fear.

I mean, look, if you sat, I sat within a couple of feet of Dav microwaving, Russell's burgers and eating them and blowing snot out of his nose. And that didn't put me off microwave. So you'll be all right. What we can do also, have you got any other fears, Sips? Cause we could overcome them by putting them in the microwave. Well, I just want to start by saying I wasn't actually that scared of the whole microwave incident. And certainly not to the point where I think't actually that scared of the whole microwave incident. And certainly not to the point where I think it has left me with some PTSD.

I would have been. I think similar things happened to me and it was scary. It's like that time I fucking put a knife in the toaster and gave myself an electric shock. Oh my God, you did that? Everyone's done that. Did you never watch Looney Tunes as a kid? Everybody knows not to do that.

Never throw your toaster while it's plugged in and on into a bathtub either. Yeah. That's the other one. I did if everyone's done that. Yeah. No, oh god. All right. This one's from Kevin. Hello triangles. Heard the hotel stories on the recent mailbag and thought I'd give you one of mine. Having worked as a bartender at a fancy hotel for a couple of years. Nice. For two weeks we'd made a deal with a building firm where all the workmen stayed at our hotel for a discounted rate.

Over the two weeks, we got to know a few of them and they got to know a few of us. And this one guy was quite creepy slash flirty with our 18 and 19 year old waitresses. This dude was in his 40s. So one evening, this guy kept calling to say the remote for his TV didn't work. Right. And if someone could come check it out, a waitress that I'll call Kelly went with some batteries to change the remote. But when she got to the room the remote worked fine, TV turned on with no issues and she quickly left. The guy rang three more times asking for her specifically to

come and fix the TV. Yikes. And eventually Kelly asked me, who's a 6'2", 16 stone lad, so a big lad, to go and have a look instead as she felt uncomfortable. Annoyed at this guy, I went to check the TV, knocked on the door, he shouted, it's open. I walked in, only to be confronted by the sight of an overweight middle-aged man yanking his hog on the bed, stark naked. No! We called the police on the guy and he was immediately sacked by his company, but I'll never be able to erase that image.

Oh my god, man. Why? Fucking hell. Men are gross. You want another one? Is he in jail? There should be a jail for that. This is why we need to get rid of the patriarchy.

Agreed! Alright, this is from Andy. I have two novel food related stories to report. Thank you for your reportage. I once worked with someone who washed his peeled banana. Oh god, thank- I'm so glad-, hang on. Well, let's carry on. That is the actual banana without its skin. So he would peel the banana and then wash the banana.

The inside bit. Yeah. Upon questioning what he was doing, he muttered something about washing it as it may be dirty. I was adamant that this was not needed, but didn't pursue this as felt the conversation was close to becoming argumentative. Right. Okay. You know how you guys were saying that I was traumatized because of that microwave? This person needs to be investigated. There's some trauma there. Yeah. There has to be some trauma where somebody is washing the inside part of the banana because it might be dirty.

I mean, I don't know if it's some shit has gone down. You know what I bet it is? I bet he doesn't like the sort of almost fluffy outer texture of the banana. Can kind of make people gag sometimes. Can it? Yeah. It's like one of my kids, when she ate a banana, it almost stuck in her mouth. Because the texture is a bit odd sometimes. So he might be smoothing it under the tab.

Well listen, you know leeks. I don't know if you've ever had many leeks, but I've been cutting up a lot of leaks recently and they get, they're lovely, but they get dirty inside. Like some, some of like the inner folds, you wouldn't expect there to be dirt in there, but there's quite a lot. And I imagine lots of people don't wash their leaks properly. No, we're talking about a banana. So is it the case though, where he's opened something and unexpectedly found dirt in there? No, it's a banana.

There's no dirt in a banana. Yeah, it's sealed. The perfect food. It's perfectly sealed. It comes with its own pocket, its own organic disposable wrapping. Lewis, you just described a banana as having quote unquote folds. What is wrong with your bananas? Uh, well, look, I don't know whether this man has experienced

some sort of- Impossible situation. Leaky based- It's not a leak, it's a banana, Lewis. Vegetable or fruit based dirt situation. Why are we continually bringing up leaks in a banana conversation? I don't understand where this is coming from. I've noticed though, because sometimes when I'm having a salad, I think I noticed that

some of the leaves are dirty as well when I'm in a restaurant. I think that a lot of people don't wash their vegetables at all. I completely understand all of that. I've never seen a dirty vegetable in a restaurant before. I used to know this man. But we're talking about a banana. He was a really rational man. Yeah, yeah. I know we're talking about a banana, but Lewis keeps talking about vegetables and

I just felt like I had to chime know. He was a very sensible man. He read New Scientist magazine and he was a dad and he worked for a reputable company and he refused to wash any fruit and vegetables. In fact, he was adamant about not doing it. I think we got to get away from this. The assumption that because somebody reads a magazine or something that they're good or I think we need to get away from all this. This causes so many problems.

There are weirdos among us, like everywhere. Closer than you think. Don't trust people based on these stupid things like what they're reading or you know, what they seem to be doing or whatever. Look at that 40 year old guy jacking off in his hotel room, uh, for all to see when that guy came to replace his, his batteries. Who knows? He might be the nicest guy ever. He might be reading, you know, Reader's Digest with some spectacles at the bus stop one minute.

Next minute, he's jacking off in a hotel room in front of somebody that doesn't want to watch him do that. You know what I mean? Stop trusting people for stupid reasons. Just assume that everybody is a fucking weirdo until they prove otherwise. that doesn't want to watch him do that. You know what I mean? Stop trusting people for stupid reasons. Just assume that everybody is a fucking weirdo until they prove otherwise. That's gotta be the more sensible approach.

Okay. Sure. By the way, if you want to know a good way to clean your leaks, I've been watching a lot of Jacques Pepin recipes on YouTube. Go fuck off. He gets the leak, he trims the... Jacques Pepin. He's fantastic. He trims the Jack. Jack the bat. He's fantastic.

He trims the very end of the leak. I think a hundred years old. He's 90 years old. He's a very old man. He's been cooking for decades. He's a legendary chef. Right. Right. So you get the leak, you know, the rooty end that's got the little the root, right? You hold it there and with a knife, you put it straight in, like you stab through the leak, like lengthways, and then you pull to the end of the leak. And then you turn it 90 degrees and do that again. And the whole thing opens out like one of those bunches of flowers made a newspaper. You can get all the dirt out of the leak. And it's amazing how far down the dirt goes. It's sad to think that you're just coming up to the end of your legendary run,

and there's not another run after that. You know, you can't just restart again. You know, 90 years old. He's had a great life. Yeah, no, he has. It must suck to get to like a really old age and just sort of realise, well, This is it. It's almost over. It's almost done. Cut it in half this way, this way. And then you rinse out the water. He's doing exactly what I'm doing. I've accidentally learned the Jacques Pepin leak washing technique.

So now what I want to know is that my partner has been complaining at me because she's been saying to me, you're throwing away too much leak and Jack Pepin is throwing away way more leak than I throw away. If you look at that, he's got a very large leak. I bet I know which video it is. It's a very large leak. He's doing Jack Pepin's Cosy Potato Leak Soup Recipe. Oh god, I hate leeks.

If you look, he trims the very end of a very big leak, which is just a leaf, like it's not even really edible. He's still got like 90% of the leak left. Yeah, me too. No, no, no. He's keeping a lot of the dark bits of the leak, which is fine. Yeah, but you don't want the very ends. You don't want the very, very ends. I don't want any of it at all. Fucking leaks. I hate them.

Oh my God. They're so good. Oh, they're gross. You're like that fucking guy in Craves out of the back of the bag, dude, for like breakfast. At least that tastes good. Like, uh, it tastes like, like a, like a shit. I love how you are the least healthy vegetarian person I know. It's so fucking funny. This is, uh, this is from, from Tom. Uh, do you want to hear this one? This is titled fat people

MRIs. My friend works as a physiotherapist for the NHS. Now, Tom, if this is on, I feel like I'm being called out here. If this is on true, I got stuck in the, I got stuck in the machine last time I went. He works for the NHS in the Midlands and told me this beautiful anecdote the last time I visited him. He had a large slash enormous lady in one day who needed an MRI scan, so he signed her off for the appointment. A few weeks later the MRI team contacted him saying she was too fat to fit in the machine.

I mean it is, they are quite narrow so I I can understand that incredibly. Delicately say that. You say, I'm sorry, madam, we're going to need a bigger boat slash machine. Incredibly, it turns out that certain hospitals have special fat machines just for this occasion. So he said he sent her off there. I would have personally felt a bit ashamed at this point, were it me, but it actually gets worse. Another message came in for the MRI team. She was too large for this special XL machine. So in those rare cases, they send people to the zoo to use the MRI machines. No, this is absolutely not true. There is absolutely not true that there is a zoo way of taking somebody to a zoo for an MRI.

That is absolutely no fucking way. I hope it all right. No fucking way. I hope it's true. It's funny. Oh, man. This is from Jake and your last email. One of the listeners mentioned they swallow peas and beans whole. I can't believe it. I also swallow peas and beans whole.

Oh, no. I honestly told you that there's weirdos among us and they're closer than you think. They're walking above. They are walking. Starting a bean swallow club. Oh, for fuck's sake. You fucking bean swallowers and your fucking pea swallowing ways. All right. Well, here's another one.

Here's a strange food combination. Most people will happily just chew them up and switch some diet coke around with them. No, not you guys. You got to take it that step further, don't you? Here's one from Isaac. He dips fresh, warm, salty tortilla chips from a Mexican or a Tex-Mex into ice cold Coca-Cola. Oh, I know it sounds fucked up.

It's just a matter of sweet, salty, hot and cold. That does sound like a fucking weird thing that a kid would that that has to be something that developed as you were a kid, right? Cause kids kind of like, again, they do weird shit and it's sometimes gross or whatever. But then if you, nobody's there to say, please don't do that. You never know. And then you just become an adult who does that. It's not a bad thing.

I'm just saying I can, I can totally see how that would start as you being a kid and then just follow you through. Sometimes being too controlling though can cause other problems though. Cause rebelling. Like, you know, I was the same way. I was never allowed fast food and anything. And as soon as I got a sniff of freedom, I was in McDonald's every day. You know, I think it was camp backfire.

Yeah. So once, soon as I got a sniff of freedom, I was like, McDonald's of a day. They had to bring the cuffs in and drag me out of the establishment. I will not leave. That's hilarious. Every day you went to McDonald's. Well, I was doing, I was in sixth form, you know, we were allowed to get, we had to bring our own, get our own lunch, you know? So I was just down and there was some McDonald's right there. And it was like, you know, like in your school, we did, but it's for the kids in there. He went to school with us now.

Hang around. We used to leave, we used to leave school and walk across this massive, massive parking lot to get to pizza pizza, which was a kind of like a pizza place is a pizza place, but like a very NA pizza place. You don't get them much over here, but you can just get a slice, you know, a big slice. Like it was enough like a slice. Your whole lunch was just like one big fucking slice of pizza and it was shitty pizza, but it was kind of good at the same time. You know, like there was a thing that I remember as a kid. I loved pizza when I was a kid because New York pizza was so good.

Like all these Italians were making it the best. There was like a garlic salt that would be on the table. It was like a garlic salt. That's the only way I can put it. Yeah. And when you put that on the pizza, I fucking loved it. I can't find it over here. No.

All right, let's move on. This is from Will, who we ran out. This was the hotel thing that I read out about a guy left a suitcase with a concierge for a year and it was full of dildos and stuff. Yes, I remember that one. Okay, so this is weird guest requests that Will had. I have this 40-year-old man who kept calling down to get the remote batteries changed and asking the same person to do it.

It was like an overlapping story. I was trying to get my remote control batteries fixed and this guy walked in on me jerking off. I couldn't believe it. A pilot that contacted us, this is weird guest request, this pilot contacted us in advance asking for a wooden board to be placed on top of his mattress. Maintenance had to cut some MDF to size just for him. What? I need to have the guy come down and tell him that the wood wasn't hard enough and did we have another?

I'm assuming he slept on the wooden board and it was a back thing or some kind of weird fitness thing. Who knows? People are weird. A very well-dressed gent that looked me dead in the eye across the front desk and asked, where can I find a fat prostitute? A young couple in a really busy lobby that wanted to know if I thought eating space cakes or just smoking a spliff was the best way to try weed. A room of friends that didn't like anything on the room service menu and asked if I could surprise them. I infiltrated

the executive lounge with my master keycard, a knick to load of fruit and cheese. They were so impressed and happy that they invited me to join them after my shift for a quick orgy Unfortunately, my shift wouldn't end until 7 a.m. And I politely declined fuck you know You should have done instead of the food you should have hid in their room And when they came back burst out of the cupboard and been like surprise, you know Like like, you know, they said surprise me that could have been a better surprise There you go and a way to get go. And a way to get fired. And probably a way to get fired. You'd probably get fired for raiding the executive lounge as well though.

Yeah, that's true. So this is from Louis. This is an interesting one. Have you guys heard of the bold hairy rule in Russian politics? No. Bold hairy rule. Bold hairy rule. Okay, so it's a long running joke. It's not really a joke. Where the state leaders of Russia alternate between bold and hairy. So, if we start with Nicholas I in 1825 to 1855. Bold.

Alexander II. Hairy. Alexander III. Bold. Nicholas II. Hairy. Lvov. Bold.

Kerensky. Hairy. Lenin. bold, Stalin, Harry, Beria, bold, Malenkov, Harry. And then it alternates Khrushchev, Brezhnev, Andropov, Chinenko, Gorbachev, Yeltsin. Yeltsin was Harry. Gorbachev was bald. Putin was bald. Putin, bald.

Medvedev was briefly Harry. Back to Putin, bald. So yeah, you've got to go bold, Harry, bold, Harry, bold, Harry. So the next potential and may never happen even in our lifetimes, depending on how many, how many supplements Putin's taken to increase our lives become with him in charge. Or that we may never, we may never know who the next hairy ruler of Russia is. But if it was an election between a bald man and a hairy man, you should bet on the hairy man. You should. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. Russia is. But if it was an election between a bald man and a hairy man, you should bet on the hairy man.

You should. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. That is. This is a sped up accent. Just watch the mailbag episode with the guy speeding up media. The times two times three. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm a computer science student and a lot of the tutorials explaining hard maths and programming are made by Indians. Just like Perian, I speed up the videos to two times as I just need the information smashed into my brain as quickly as possible. However, I've found that I now understand the thick Indian accents in these videos only on two times speed. Hello, can you speak faster please? I can't understand you. Any slower and I can't understand a word. There you go. Crazy. That's interesting. I guess you just trained your brain

to be able to understand. You could probably train it. Just start listening to them on normal speed and you'll train your brain to understand it. Yeah, who's got time for that? Who's got time for that? You'll be the ultimate Indian understander though. You'll be able to do it fast and slow.

That would be amazing. Yeah. And let's finish with this one from Zumwar. I'm curious. I tried that bloke's crunchy peanut butter and egg sandwich, which we spoke about in a previous episode. It was disgusting Well, yeah, I mean That was gonna be fucking gross like come on I did this so all curious people never have to look I'm not kidding Here we need

Really needed you to investigate that. Otherwise, who knows? We would have had no idea. So yeah, gosh, thank you so much for that. Thank you. Brave, brave hero. Yeah, that's hilarious. I guess we'll finish with this one. This is a little bit of info for everyone because that was a short one. Found out today that there's two brands of Pyrex measuring jugs. You know, the glass ones that you have in your kitchen.

The brand Pyrex, the original, is the high quality one that's virtually indestructible and made of heat resistant glass. And it's got, it's always got the red writing on it. Right. In upper case letters. Yes. That's key. The brand Pyrex lowercase letters is just normal glass and is not meant to be heated. My friends told me this is a reasonably common knowledge, but I had no idea. Now I looked this up and you can read articles about the difference between Pyrex and Pyrex and why they're both easily confused but different. So it's weird.

So I mean Pyrex, they make a lot of the labware that I used to use as like a chemist. I think it's very common to see that. And, um, but lowercase is different. Yeah. That's what, that's what it, that's what it said in the email. I'm going to have to go and check all my Pyrex stuff. Go check your lab. Make sure that you're not using the lowercase stuff for your high heat experiments.

I reckon it's all lowercase. I'll keep an eye out. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, that's it.case. Uh-oh. I'll keep an eye out in the future. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, that's it. Keep those emails coming in. More of those. More of those types of things.

Yeah, those are great. Thank you so much for the emails. Give me more of those. Thank you and see you next time. I mean, most of those ones are just smashed out. Like I just read them in sequence as they'd arrived. Yeah. And I was like, damn, this is like 15 good emails in a row.

Yeah. You guys are killing it. Thank you so much. Yeah, really good. Yeah, and the email address, because I keep seeing people asking, her are killing it. Thank you so much. Yeah, really good. Yeah. And the email address because I keep seeing people asking. Here in flax at gmail.com. Here in flax at gmail.com.

P Y R I O N F L A X at gmail.com. Thank you all. Thank you guys for listening. We'll see you next time. Take it easy. Bye bye. Bye bye.