Triforce! - Triforce! Mailbag Special #52: Senile old farts forget where they are

Episode Date: March 26, 2025

Triforce Mailbag Special 52! A varied mailbag brings us unusual fetishes, LEGO fans with poor TV taste and estate agents defending themselves and we introduce a really fun (?) new segment where we gue...ss where planes are going. We also spend far too long writing a disclaimer to cover all our bases for the Triforce Podcast! Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Pickaxe. Ah, the French champagne. Maybe the best intro we've ever had. A reference to, what's his name? Orson Welles. Orson Welles. For champagne. If anyone who's seen the video will get that reference.
Starting point is 00:00:33 I apologize. It's a mailbag. It's a mailbag. I don't have a tune. We didn't get sent any tunes. We didn't get sent any tunes? No. We're done.
Starting point is 00:00:43 The mailbag. The whole thing. Once again, we've been spoiled with music, honestly. Quite frankly, we should just do this one in silence. So much so. An hour of silence. Maybe too much, maybe too much music, you know, in memoriam of good music. Memoriam. Well, let's kick it off with something that I've been sent by a few people. Hyperion, big fan of the podcast.
Starting point is 00:01:07 In Mailbag 51, you were talking about the Twilight series. And you said, I think it's just an entry level drug to 50 Shades of Grey. Fun fact. When the Twin Towers fell on 9-11, a man named Gerard Way witnessed the event and it inspired him to start the emo rock band My Chemical Romance. His band was then used by Stephanie Meyer as the inspiration for the Twilight series. E.L. James, a fan of the book, then wrote a Twilight fan fiction, which then became Fifty Shades of Grey. So 9-11 caused Fifty Shades of Grey. And Twilight and My Chemical Romance. Yeah, yeah, interesting. Gee whiz. I
Starting point is 00:01:40 mean, I guess it is such a big event that a lot of things will have, you know, been created off the off the back of such a such an event. Indeed. I think it's just because they feel disconnected. Yeah. Even though I think three of those things feel like the same thing to me. The odd one out here is 9-11. Let's be real. Emo band, a band about a book about vampires, a book about, I don't know what, an abusive relationship. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:02:06 I haven't read it. I don't know what it's about. What? Fifty Shades of Grey? Yeah. I don't know much about it either. No, it's a guy. It's a guy who's like a psychologist, but he has like lots of different fetishes, I
Starting point is 00:02:24 think. Oh, I think that's what it is. Yeah. I mean, I don't, I've never read it. Three old men speculate about a popular sexy book that came out 15 years ago. Come up with your theories based on the loose information you've gathered over the years. When did 50 Shades of Grey come out? I feel like that's been out for a long time now. 50 shades of gray come out. I feel like that's been out for a long time now. It's not even close to being a new thing anymore. And it's 50 shades of gray. The thing is his name is gray. That's right. Yeah. Cause and it's like all his different, it's all the different sides of his personality. 50 shades. It goes through all the different kinks. Yeah. The man's got 50 kinks.
Starting point is 00:03:05 Yeah. I think, I guess so. Yeah. That's crazy. Can you name him? Yeah. When he's pouring hot magma into his, into his cockle. Magma.
Starting point is 00:03:15 That's where we're starting, is it, on naming kinks. Pouring liquid magma down your dick hole. Let me bring out a wee notepad here and we'll magma down. Let me, let me bring out a, I'll bring out a we know where you get the liquid magma from the port. Yeah, man. You wait for volcano to wrap. We just pop over to a volcano. Just scoop a bit up.
Starting point is 00:03:37 Yeah. dedication. Kinky this guy. So we've got magma down. Cockle. Um, you're writing this down. Yes. I'm noting these down. That's that's one down.
Starting point is 00:03:46 It's shade 49 to go. 49 more to go. Okay. I think he's a bicycle fucker. Hamsters in your asshole. Aided by a toilet paper to toilet roll. Yeah. That's got to be number 40.
Starting point is 00:04:04 Yes. That's that's a frightening one, that. These are all, like, serious stuff. I've always thought that there must have been a point where someone's penis was small enough and someone's nose holes were large enough that you could fuck someone's nose. Absolutely. Nose fucking. Right. Brackets, where possible.
Starting point is 00:04:22 Yeah. Okay. I feel like that's just putting your dick into anything. RILEY Yeah, but I want it to go all the way up in the nostril. Like that bit in Total Recall, when Arnie pulls the probe out of his head, with that thing and his nose goes all big, but in reverse, because it's a cock going up that nose. If that makes sense.
Starting point is 00:04:39 ALICE Good lord. Can we move on already? RILEY We've got 46 to go! ALICE We've got quite a few more shades to cover. RILEY We've barely started. Okay, fine. ALICE If you want to move on, then so've got 46 to go! We've got quite a few more shades to cover. Alright, fine. Five minutes of this podcast.
Starting point is 00:04:48 If you want to move on, then so be it. Fine, yeah. We'll move on. That's fine. Okay. Hello, I am freshly out of a long-term relationship and decided to sign up for Tinder. Despite listening to the podcast for years and hearing a lot of horrific dating stories, I thought there was surely no way anything bizarre could happen to me using a dating app.
Starting point is 00:05:09 No, I never thought that the leper would eat my face. Yeah. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. I was wrong. After a few weeks of using the app and talking to a couple of girls that I matched with, one of them in particular paired very well with my personality, as far as I could tell. She was incredibly beautiful and made it a point to talk about how much she liked my long wavy hair as it goes below my shoulders. I thought nothing of it at the time, just assuming it was a compliment and nothing more. We decided to go to a bar around
Starting point is 00:05:37 where she lived for the first date, had a few drinks, few laughs. Things were going very well. Throughout the night, she kept twirling my hair around her fingers and commenting on how nice it felt, which I thought was a little strange, but again, thought nothing of it. After being at the bar with her for a few hours, she asked me if I'd like to come back to her place. This has never happened to me before and I couldn't have been more excited, but I played it cool and we headed back to her apartment. We walked in and she immediately started kissing me. I was having a great time until she said something she wanted. She had something she wanted to show me. She grabbed me by the hand and led me into her bedroom closet where she
Starting point is 00:06:06 had a full barber chair and hair clippers laid out next to it she can shave my head and told me she had a fetish for the act of shaving a man's long hair now I understand everybody is into what they're into and cannot help it but of course as this was the first date and an incredibly bizarre request I said no she then started to cry and beg me to let her do it. I quickly gathered my things and went home and deleted the app soon after." Where do you go from there though? She shaves your head and then she's like, uh, get out of here.
Starting point is 00:06:37 Your hair is not long anymore. My fetish is not possible to... Yeah, exactly. It's messed up. That's messed up. That's a bit messed up, yeah. She should seek therapy for that. So in her closet she had a full barber chair with like clippers, everything like ready
Starting point is 00:06:54 to go? Yeah, she had it in a secret cupboard. It's obviously like something that- Or maybe not so secret? Why does she not, why does she not just work at a hairdresser? Because maybe she's just like orgasming nonstop. Just coming all day. Like it'd be, well, maybe not so much with, if she did women's hair, maybe not so much
Starting point is 00:07:16 is the fetish specific to men with long wavy hair. It's also specific to men who don't want it. You know, it's the, it's the, it's the Delilah. It's the Samson and Delilah fetish. She is, she is going to be a serial killer. I'm just putting out already be one. I, there's a lot of cold cases out there. I'm just saying. Sorry. A serial killer of nice hair, long hair, people. She, she, it's only a matter of time though, before she ties someone up and you know, like kidnap someone and shave their head. And someone, shaves their head.
Starting point is 00:07:45 Yeah, but just to shave their head. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. She's not going to actually- There are worse things. You know, she, of course, you know, but I think that it's a, it's a- She should join the army.
Starting point is 00:07:55 Yeah. She could just be the person to shave. Oh my God. Like at the start of Full Metal Jacket. She could join the army. Goodbye my darling, hello. Yeah. She's just in the background, like crossing her legs.
Starting point is 00:08:08 crying. The real thing though, I mean, when I had long hair, I was sick of it. I was ready to get rid of it, you know? And so, but the thing is, imagine I met this woman on, on Tinder, not that I'm available, you know, I had long hair and, you know, we went out and we, and I did allow it. I was like, Oh, it's a match made in heaven, right? She can shave off my head. And what happens then though, is this, is as soon as she sees me with shaved hair. You have sex with her. Yes. No, no, no. Yes. She's so aroused by the act of shaving your head. You have sex and then she's not at all interested in you.
Starting point is 00:08:49 Like a lot of men who just want to have like a sandwich right after and, and, and don't talk and stuff, you know? Okay. It's the same sort of thing. They're treating you poorly, are they? Yeah. Your boyfriends. That's a shame. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:00 She, she just has a, has a cigarette and says, pack up your things. Yeah. Because you need to fuck out of here. Get out of here, you bold cunt. That's what she said. Okay. Or she starts says, pack up your things. Get out. Get the fuck out of here. Get out you bald cunt. That's what she said. Okay. Or she starts screaming, put it back on, put it back on, and tries to like sew the hair
Starting point is 00:09:12 back onto your bald head or something like that. Or she wears it like a wig, like Buffalo Bill in- Yeah. Would you fuck me? She puts a fake mustache on. Would you? I'd shave me. I'd fucking shave me.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Would you fuck me? You should put some fake mustache on. I shave me. I fucking shave me. You fuck me. You fuck me. You fuck me. You fuck me. And these boys. Yeah, he's fucked up. Oh, wait.
Starting point is 00:09:39 Oh, man. All right, anyway, this is from someone from Delaware. Growing up, I always thought of Lego as a toy only meant for a child. Well, at one point that made a bit might have been true. Myself and a lot of others have started to see Lego as more of a therapeutic exercise rather than a children's activity. My wife was very much into Lego before I met her. And we really connected through it.
Starting point is 00:09:58 I thought there was going to be a Lego joke there, but there wasn't. We would spend hours putting them together, just talking about whatever random topic came to mind. A 33, I see there's something more akin to painting or sculpting, while much simpler and not really taking any brain power. I just find it relaxing. That's fair enough. Here they have attached a picture of their Lego wall and you might think, oh, well, this is wholesome and everything. But I have some issues with this picture. Okay, because this picture, let's hit it. There's the Lego wall. But if you pass your eyes, it's okay. This is very similar to what I have.
Starting point is 00:10:27 Yeah, I was gonna say, I feel like I'm looking at Lewis's apartment right now. Yeah. Imagine if you will, it's a couple of Ikea calaxies, a little square shelves, a series of square shelves. It's like 1824, 24 little square shelves, six of them along a row in a row. Yeah. So they've used it for Lego. They've also used it for DVDs. Now I had a look at this DVD collection and I'm alarmed, genuinely alarmed. First of all, they have every episode of Walker, Texas Ranger on DVD,
Starting point is 00:10:55 which is unacceptable. Good choice. I see some NCIS. I see some NCI. Yes, that's Chuck Norris. NCIS is there as well, which is a terrible show. Well, listen, some somebody's got to watch these. These are highly rated shows. Somebody's watching them. Listen, these DVDs cost them a lot 20 years ago and they can't bring themselves to throw them out. Jeff Dunham, you know him? He's the guy, he's the puppeteer who has the little puppet that says, I kill you. He's awful. He's one of the most successful comedians of all time.
Starting point is 00:11:25 Home Improvement, the entire run, Full House, all of the Gilmore Girls. There was something else I found really objectionable in their collection. Ali McBeal. No, I don't see Ali McBeal. They've got all the Disney stuff appears to be on VHS. All the seasons of Castle. Yes, Castle is in there. They've got a Disney Castle there too.
Starting point is 00:11:45 They got two Disney Castles? Is that little one with the red spires a Disney Castle? There's no sorting system here at all. It's just everywhere. It's Ice Age next to My Big Fat Greek Life next to Kingsman, Bull, and then just nonsense. Goldfinger Spectre, Angels and Demons, Da Vinci Code, Kung Fu Pack. They've just got, it's, you know, it's the who's who's of 10 years ago, 10, 20 years ago DVDs.
Starting point is 00:12:13 And it's all trash. This is upsettingly bad DVD. And everybody loves Raymond Boxset. Fucking get out. But hang on. This is what people used to have. I'm sure we talk to anyone who's anywhere near their 30s and they had a massive DVD collection at a period of time. It's the shows that they've got! That was the only way that you could- It's not about the DVD collection. I have DVDs.
Starting point is 00:12:34 I'm saying it's the movies and shows that they've gone for. I had season one of Lost on DVD and it was in a big box and everything. Right. Yeah. Honestly, do you know what? I'm fucking miss those times because at least there, like there was a time, this blessed time when you could watch shit on telly without ads, you know, you could, you could record your TV and it would cut the ads out or you could fast forward through the ads.
Starting point is 00:13:00 Depends where you live. And now I pay for like seven subscriptions. Like, give me, you know, I'd love to have a DVD with a whole season stuff on it, you know, instead of having to get interrupted. I watched, um, I watched, I watched hot fuzz the other, the other week, because my partner hadn't seen it and, um, it was on Amazon prime. And I, I was, she wished that she could go back to the point where she hadn't seen it again. Sorry for the interruption. Here's a one minute ad in the middle of the movie, like multiple times.
Starting point is 00:13:29 What? On what service? I'm on Amazon. Oh, yeah. I'm paying for that. So the thing with, isn't that the thing with Prime now, they want you to pay more and be like, oh, I'll pay Prime, Prime Plus, like super Prime, Prime Squared. But also, I've got my brother's Disney Plus account and we share it.
Starting point is 00:13:48 And he shares my Netflix. Right. And admit to that. And he is he is downgraded his one to the ad played version. Oh, I'm still paying. I'm saying I'm still paying the full price for the Netflix one. I'm not paying the you know, I haven't downgraded. He's enjoying Netflix ad for you, whereas I have to watch his Disney plus with ads. What are you watching on Disney plus?
Starting point is 00:14:10 What's going on brother? Um, I was watching the, I was, well, I think there was a few things I was watching. I was halfway through a couple of things. He's watching the live action. Some of the, some of the star Wars stuff, but I started having to get ads on it, I just didn't come back to it. Herbie gets all fucked up. Was I watching What We Do in the Shadows? Oh yeah, there's a new season of that. I can't remember. I don't even know if it's on Disney Plus. I'm sure that's on iPlayer.
Starting point is 00:14:36 I'm pretty sure you have. I also had a Plex account I was using. Oh god, I used to have a Plex. Yeah, I used to have a Plex account. I've still got the thing downstairs. Like it's a box. It's just a big... Basically all the Plex is a huge hard drive with a little miniature front end.
Starting point is 00:14:52 Like I think it's a little Linux front end or something and you connect. And then you can play from the Plex directly to your tally. Yeah. You can share your library as well, which is I think the big one for Plex. This was before there were all these streaming services. Piracy is never, never in a better place guys. If you're interested in sailing the high seas in the Gulf of age, it's alive and well.
Starting point is 00:15:14 Yeah. Well, it's not going anywhere. This podcast brought to you by ExpressVPN. It's harder to play games, pirated games though, right? Like, cause a lot of games are online now or like, yeah, like service games that are harder to to get working. But yeah. Oh, well, here's a new topic. Front versus back of penis debate solved.
Starting point is 00:15:34 Oh, God. That sounds like a headline in The New York Times. This again, I wanted to give you a quick email to clear up the front versus back of penis debate. Right. I'm glad it's solved at least. It's solved now, by a doctor. I'm a doctor in South Wales and in medical school we had to learn about the male anatomical position. This is a biological man standing with his palms facing forwards with an erect penis, not flaccid all caps. Therefore to settle
Starting point is 00:16:01 the debate once and for all, the back, or dorsum, of the penis is the side facing you when the penis is erect. Yes. Which direction was pointing straight upwards. The front, or ventral, side is the one facing away from you when the penis is erect. Hope this clears matters up. From Anonymous, brackets, I have a tiny penis. Thank you, Anonymous. Clear as day. Thank you very much, kind sir. Doctor. Thank you very much, doctor. We can finally put this one to bed. We solved another one, guys.
Starting point is 00:16:28 That's good. That's really good. Okay. No more comments on that one. Okay. This is from an estate agent. Oh god. Emailing in, because we've been having a pop at them.
Starting point is 00:16:37 So this is- I don't want to hear it. Is it? I don't like you already. Dear plebs. I don't want to... Go on, go for it. You sure? Go for it. They're not all, they're not all bad.
Starting point is 00:16:46 I'm sure. Go on. I think you're about to realize how bad they actually are. He says, now the slander that goes on with estate agencies. I've been a letting agent for around 13 years, not the same and moved in doing a state agency in the past few years. And I'd like to point out that most of your hatred would be pushed more towards English estate agencies, where dodgy practices seem to be far more commonplace. In Scotland,
Starting point is 00:17:10 you have no risk of gazumping. And from what I've gathered, we seem to be a good bit better up here. But that said, we're still not popular people. So the estate agents, this lads from the northeast of Scotland, he is claiming that it's English estate agents are the problem and that your Scotch estate agent, Scotch, is innocent, in fact. Well, I think there's probably, I mean, England's a bigger place and also there's, because it's a bigger place, there's probably more areas where the particularly bad ones would operate. Right. Like very affluent neighborhoods and stuff like that. I mean, I'm not saying Scotland has none of those.
Starting point is 00:17:52 I'm sure they have tons. But I think probably England being a bigger place has more. And then you also have houses. Scottish people live in little holes in the ground. As far as I'm aware, I didn't I didn't think they had developed housing. I thought they lived at the top of Bob Nevis. But Bob Nevis. Yeah. Is that his brother is Ben Nevis.
Starting point is 00:18:13 No, that's I say this to Ravel, Ravs all the time. You call him Bob Nevis. I did a quiz that I thought I didn't I'd never even heard of Ben Nevis. And and it said something like, what is what is this? And, uh, one of the options was Bob. And I randomly guessed Bob. And I think Ravis is in my chat at the time. And I could feel him dying inside. Just to sort of remind him, you know, like, like, like a knowing nod, like, sorry. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:46 Yeah. All right. This one is from Daniel. All of this fretting about whether or not you're being taken in by an urban legend sounds awfully similar to your other disclaimer. We may have spoken about this before for your consideration. May I offer we may have been deceived by this before. What?
Starting point is 00:19:02 Urban myth? Yeah, we could just say now we may have been deceived by this before, but we're going to read this story. So yeah, we can. I like that. I do. Okay. Let's get like a, if we, thing is, where does it end?
Starting point is 00:19:13 You know, if we put like a two minute long disclaimer on the front of every podcast. Maybe that's the, maybe that's the answer. Yeah. Okay. Let's start compiling it. Yeah. Well, that's, we'll record a disclaimer that we can put at the start of the podcast. We'll get somebody who can do the really fast reading to read it as well.
Starting point is 00:19:29 We could read it and just speed it up. So what would our disclaimer be? Okay. Warning. Warning. This podcast. This podcast features three old men. Very contradictory. Over 40.
Starting point is 00:19:42 Three over 40 year old men. Hypocritical men. Contradictory, hippocritical. We're contradictory. We're out of touch. And we're also, we live in a kind of jaded existence. We don't go outside very much and are scared of the rapid change of society. Yep.
Starting point is 00:20:06 And young people. I feel like we get our news primarily from Reddit. Yes, probably. And also... The BBC news. Question time? Gosh, I missed question time last night. I wanted to watch it too.
Starting point is 00:20:18 We're not really trained in anything like this as well. I'm a scientist by trade. in anything like this as well. I'm a scientist by trade, you know, Zips is a programmer and you're various things, P-Flex. Will Barron Unemployed. And unemployed. Alistair Yeah, and we're internet idiots. And for a long time, we've spent too long playing video... We're man-children as well, write that down. We play video games all day for a living. We are forgetful. Wait, what was the other one you said put it down? It was like, we're man children.
Starting point is 00:20:53 Man children talking. We're deeply forgetful. Like the other day I saw a little thing on Reddit which said, do you remember joining Lucky Blocks, Pflacx? No, I had no memory of it. And apparently you appeared in a Minecraft video with us doing Lucky Blocks, P-Flax. No, I had no memory of it. And apparently you did, you appeared in a Minecraft video with us doing Lucky Blocks and which I, I had completely forgot that entire series. Do you know what I mean? I can't remember a single thing that happened in any of those things.
Starting point is 00:21:14 And honestly, watching Hot Fuzz the other day, I couldn't remember the plot really. And I played the, for a brand deal the other day, I played Funko Fusion, the video game. What's that? Um, well, I say the other day, that was months ago. Thank you. It was hot fuzz. Funko Fusion, the video game. The video game, which was a basically they used, they had like four, um, IPs in there.
Starting point is 00:21:37 One of them was hot fuzz, which they obviously bought for nothing. We might have even talked about this before. Um, and if we have, sorry. Uh, the other one was Battlestar Galactica, but not the new Battlestar Galactica, the one from the eighties. Um, the other two were like, so I think it was Jurassic world, very specifically, Jurassic world and the thing. I love the thing. I know, but you know, these are kind of odd and masters of the
Starting point is 00:22:03 universe was the other one they had, but again, not the new one. And so it was kind of like these odd IPs that were obviously available and they made a little Lego style game. I guess that's the idea to have. It's kind of like, oh, we're going to make Lego Hot Fires, but it's the Funko. Hot Fires and Lego, Masters of the Universe and Lego, Battlestar Galactica. And each of them have their own little, it's basically the movie, the video game, and you go around the town and you do everything that happened in the movie. It's all very... It's like you could imagine the poor guys who were doing it have put no passion in whatsoever. They're just getting it done. It's a job to them. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:40 There's no... They obviously had fun when they made it, but it's not like, and they're happy for a job that isn't, you know, coding, I don't know, some, you know, gambling app or whatever the fuck is worse, you know, at least you get to mess around in a world, which is kind of half fun, but I just, it just didn't feel, feel good. Um, and I, and I've seen, I feel like I've seen the movie multiple times. I played that game and I watched Hot Fuzz the other day and I couldn't really remember it. That's where we are in life. We are at a point in life where you two are now not listening to me. Okay, write that down. I'm not, yes, we don't listen to each other.
Starting point is 00:23:17 Write that down in the disclaimer if you're right. We don't listen to each other. You lost me. I honestly, I didn't even understand what your point was. Yeah. My point was that we have, I forgot what happened. I thought it would be rude to interrupt. If you, whether or not you even had a point to begin with or not.
Starting point is 00:23:36 If you are a listener and you've listened back to podcasts, you will notice us saying the same thing, making the same anecdote as if we're telling it for the first time. Right. But we have no recollection of that. It's frightening, actually. And I am honestly a little bit worried that I'm going senile with how much my brain is eroding. Well, let me read what I've got. Have you tried to do some brain exercises? They don't work.
Starting point is 00:24:06 Dr. Spazzo's brain training or whatever on the Nintendo DS. Dr. Spazzo? What was his name again? Dr. Spazzo? Dr. Yeah, some Japanese guy. What was the name of that again? I don't know, but I love Dr. Spazzo. Someone's brain training.
Starting point is 00:24:23 You don't remember Dr. Spazzo So Dr. Creative Labs used to be able to get a, a sound blaster sound card and it came with software called Dr. Spade. So no, it didn't. Yeah. It was Shima's brain training. Dr. Cowashima. That was a big, that was the thing. Okay. But look, okay, here, let me find Dr. Spazzo for you. It was the first ever text to speech. I'm sure it was. Oh, okay. I never heard of it. Dr. Spazzo.
Starting point is 00:24:49 There you go. Dr. Spazzo, come in. Oh my God. He looks hilarious. Dr. Spazzo by Creative Labs. Please enter your name. And then as you're entering your name, it's like, hello, Chris. I am Dr. Spazzo. It's like, it's really, hello, Chris. I am Dr. Spazzo.
Starting point is 00:25:06 So it's really it was really good. It was actually good. I'm here to help you. Yeah, it was an old DOS thing. If you had a sound blaster, it came with the the the software drivers and stuff. Oh, there you go. You can use it. There's probably yeah, I'm sure there's like a website where you could you could use it, but's probably, yeah, I'm sure there's a website where you could use it.
Starting point is 00:25:25 But yeah, it was hilarious. So here's our preamble warning that I've come up with. Warning! This podcast features three contradictory, hypocritical, and out-of-touch middle-aged men. They are jaded, don't go outside much, and fear the rapid change of society and young people. Their only source of news is Reddit, Question Time and The Apprentice.
Starting point is 00:25:45 All three are internet idiots and spend too long playing video games all day for a living. Man-children talking rubbish and being deeply forgetful is what you will get here. We don't listen to each other and you shouldn't either. We don't remember anything we have ever said and take no responsibility for any of it. We are all going senile. Enjoy the podcast. Yeah, okay, paste that in. We got to get that.
Starting point is 00:26:04 We have to get this edited like properly as well. You need that. You need like that really ominous like music and then you have to do like the really warning this podcast features three contrary with the background. The whole time that would be amazing. Let's do that. Okay. If you can, yeah, I think you can work on that and cause there's a few more things you can probably add to it.
Starting point is 00:26:31 This podcast is definitely the gist of it. I'll try and do something for that. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Wonderful. Thanks. Thank you so much.
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Starting point is 00:27:53 We all like to use it. We all like to keep it secret and keep it safe. And you should too. Expressvpn.com slash Triforce. On with the show. On with the show. This is a good email from Please Keep Me Anonymous. So long time fan here. You guys talked about Nokia in episode three hundred and eleven.
Starting point is 00:28:14 I thought you might be interested in a little summary of what's happened with them. There is obviously a lot more detail and nuance that I more than I have written here. So sorry in advance if you get further emails on this. My source is being Finnish and having gone to university for finance, right? So think a little bit about some fun facts about Finnish finance expert or certainly trained Is giving us information about Nokia they see this is literally like watching a film with old people with they're like wait No, pause it. Who's that guy again? What did what's his job? Who's she? You know, like that.
Starting point is 00:28:46 Are you guys there? Yeah. Yes. We're waiting. Some fun facts about not. You. You there? The company is over 150 years old. Fuck me.
Starting point is 00:28:59 And was originally a pulp mill and rubber product manufacturer. Right. Sure. They are famous for their rubber boots. The rubber boot company still exists separately and makes pretty good boots that are iconic in Finland. You know how to say rubber in French? Rube. Gaucho.
Starting point is 00:29:15 That's French. That's French. Because I guess, yeah. At the height of the Nokia boom, the company contributed to a whopping four percent of finished finished GDP and 70% of the stock market value, which was just absurd. Nokia had something like 50% market share in the mobile phone market in 2007, dropping to just 3% over the following five years.
Starting point is 00:29:36 So they went from having half the market to 3% of the market. Nokia is a classic case study of what can go wrong in strategy and corporate culture and how they lost this massive market share. There is no single reason, but a number of them. Here are a few. In the early 2000s, a new CEO reorganized leadership into a matrix structure. Probably had probably had seen the movie The Matrix and got excited about it, leading to a decentralized incentives and different priorities between teams, basically leading to teams
Starting point is 00:30:03 competing for resources and working on a bunch of different initiatives instead of a cohesive strategy. Key staff members, people who basically created the success of Nokia, were pretty unhappy with these changes and decided to leave the company. Nokia doubled down on its Symbian OS, which was heavy and clunky to use and develop compared to the iOS and Android systems. By about 2009, Nokia was using 57 different and incompatible versions of their OS. And it was becoming very clear that Symbian could not compete. It's a shame they didn't jump on the Android train. Nokia massively underestimated the success of Apple and Samsung,
Starting point is 00:30:38 thinking that people would want to hang on to physical keyboards and that touchscreens were just a fad. There is a famous story, which I'm paraphrasing here, from a Nokia engineer who took an iPhone to test and research at home. He gave it to his kid who figured it out immediately and just couldn't keep his hands off it, wanted to keep playing with it over and over again. The engineer said that that was the moment he knew Nokia had lost problems in the corporate culture as well.
Starting point is 00:30:58 Middle management in Nokia was scared to tell the truth, to higher up due to a culture of fear and concerns about losing their jobs. And, you know, so they would sort of give them a duff information that made out things were going better than they were and stuff like that. Right, right. So yeah, the the Nokia Design Archive was open to the public in January 2025 and contains a presentation from the day after the iPhone was announced in 2007, titled Apple iPhone was launched. Yes, it is iPhone. The presentation is a serious warning about Apple becoming a serious competitor,
Starting point is 00:31:32 but was not taken seriously by management. So yeah, interesting. That is interesting. Yeah. I remember Nokia and Sony Ericsson's remember? Yeah. Those were like the two big phones. I mean, everybody had a Nokia. You know what I mean? It's like, it was just every fucking where. Yeah. Those were like the two big phones. I mean, everybody had a Nokia. You know what I mean? It's like it was just every fucking where. Yeah. And that fucking ring tone as well. The do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do It's going to be Tesla. I think they're going to turn into, they're going to turn from, I mean, they don't have, what the fuck? I think they, no, I think they're going to collapse. I think that
Starting point is 00:32:11 they are not, no one wants to drive that stupid cyber truck. The reputation is, is terrible. Like no one, it used to be cool, right? The reason people like Apple shit is because it's cool. And that hasn't changed in 20 years, right? All these trendy cunts with their iMacs sitting in cafes. Man, I saw a guy sitting in a cafe the other day with beer in a wine glass, you know, like you see that sometimes. He had a wine glass with a really nice looking beer. He was wearing chinos and like a checkered shirt. He was bald.
Starting point is 00:32:47 He had glasses on, you know, he really looked like he was the owner of a company or worked in an office or something. What a cunt walked by him. Didn't really, uh, didn't really think anything of it. Didn't even look to see what was on his screen or whatever. You know, I was with my son and my son was like, I think that guy's playing World of Warcraft and I turned around and I was like, nah, he doesn't look like he's playing World of Warcraft. I couldn't see the screen from where he were.
Starting point is 00:33:12 I was like, I'll be able to tell you immediately if we walk by and I take a look at his screen, if he is or not, because all the visuals of that game are like burned into my brain. Oh, yeah. He's like, OK, fine. So we left, glanced over. Fucking guy was just on the auction house and stormwind, like drinking a beer in a cafe. He's like doing his, he's doing his like, I just said to my son, I was like, yeah, he's playing. Wow. I know exactly where he is and I know exactly what he's doing as well.
Starting point is 00:33:43 In like a second glance. That's like great. So I mean, I, I think that, look at what we're saying just before. This is why I'm, this is why we're so forgetful. Huh? What was I going to say? We were reading emails. Where were we just before the story?
Starting point is 00:33:56 What? I was going to, I was going to tell you guys the plane that you could hear going over that was very loud. Yeah. Guess where that was going? Tenerife. No. Sky scanner that was very loud. Yeah. Guess where that was going. Tenerife. No, very far away. Japan. Oh, you're getting in towards the right kind of region.
Starting point is 00:34:11 Really? Singapore. No, but close. Hong Kong. The Philippines. Kuala Lumpur. Oh, no. How do you know?
Starting point is 00:34:18 Did it say on the on the plane? No, I just called out to the pilot. Oh, nice. Okay. No, there's a flight radar, right? Flight radar, flight radar 24. So I'll sit there watching it and I'll be like, Oh, we are big boys about to come over and I'll look out and I'll see it. And I'm watching it on the screen at the same time. That is the most, do you do that thing?
Starting point is 00:34:37 Do you turn over to your wife and you say, hear that one? It's on its way to Japan. Yes. All right for some, eh? Do you do that? Listen, this next one's going to be coming over. I want to see when you guys can hear it. Okay, I can probably tell you where it's heading just based off the sound. So. Okay. It's going to be coming right over my house in a second.
Starting point is 00:34:59 It's getting closer. Okay. So remember you have a voice. I'm going to have to talk a little bit so you guys can hear it in the back. I can hear it. I can hear it enough. Can you hear that? voice. I'm going to have to talk a little bit so you guys can hear it in the back. I can hear it enough. Can you hear that? Yeah. I know where that one's going. Oh yeah. Yeah. Coming through. That one's landing. This one is not landing. It is taking off. That is a landing. I can assure you it's taking off. It is heading away from the airport. It is taking off. I guarantee it.
Starting point is 00:35:19 If it's heading away from the airport, then that plane is crashing. It's landing. It's not. I just saw it on the runway take off. It is definitely. You can see the runway from your house. No, on the app, you bozo. There's a fucking runway. You follow the planes down the runway. I thought you had like a good view of like the runway from your house. I don't want to be that close to Heathrow. Fuck. Where do you think this is going then? Give us a clue.
Starting point is 00:35:47 It's going to take them. I'm guessing it's going east, right? Because that's flies your shore east, Twickenham's east. It's going to take them five and a half hours. Five and a half hours. Yeah. Later in the day stuff will fly west. Tenerife is like four hours. So further than Tenerife. It sounded like a big plane. I'm gonna say that that bad boy is going to Dubai. Circle on the... You're close. It's a Boeing 777-369.
Starting point is 00:36:12 Abu Dhabi. No. What's the capital called? Riyadh. No. Qatar. No. Bahrain.
Starting point is 00:36:20 No. Abu Dhabi. This is the best thing we've ever heard. called... um... Riyadh. No. Qatar. No. Bahrain. No. This is the best thing we've ever done on this podcast, by the way. It's going to Abu Dhabi. It's no. A war was fought over this area. Kuwait. Yes! Nice. UA! Next! This is a much smaller plane.
Starting point is 00:36:44 I love this, by the way. We need to do this more often. This is literally the best thing you've ever done in a fucker. Wait, wait, wait, listen, listen. It's like a cop stream over your fucking house. That's what South West London is like, but it's like this here. Listen, can you hear that? Very high pitched coming over.
Starting point is 00:37:02 Oh, that's a, that's a, that's a, that an A3A, a bit Airbus 320, A320. That is an A320 because you're now on flight radar, aren't you? Yes. You are such a cheater. I would never cheat, by the way, at this. I know. I know. I'm not looking. I'm not going to tell Sips. I'm not going to tell Sips. None of them are landing.
Starting point is 00:37:23 That one's going to London Heathrow. None of them are landing. They're all taking to London Heathrow. None of them are landing. They're all taking off. Where do you think he was going? I think they all land from the other side, don't they? So they will take off over London, I guess. So what happens is sometimes, I think it might be down to prevailing winds and stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:37:44 Yeah. Sometimes we're on the take off route and it's just, they just go over our house all day long. And other times I look out of my window to the west and I just see a line of them coming in to land. So I can see them lined up, especially at night. If I'm looking, I guess it's north actually, I can look that way and see a line of planes coming into land, stacked up all in a row, all just coming down through the exact same tunnel. They're all just
Starting point is 00:38:12 being funneled through. But today is a takeoff day, for whatever reason. Mason. Well, this is one of the main reasons that Concorde was considered to be stopped, because it was so fucking loud. loud. Oh no, it was. When I lived in Hampton. It was like sonic booms. We'd hear them here. Yeah, it was crazy. So they wouldn't do sonic booms over the city.
Starting point is 00:38:33 They'd have to get to a certain point. But as it got quieter somewhere like Jersey, then they'd fucking hit it. At the same time, every night you'd hear boom, boom, boom. It was awesome actually. It was really cool. It was really amazing. Yeah. So my family lived in Hampton. This is Mrs. F's side of things. And when I lived, I lived with them for a year in the 90s, because I was working up in London for my industrial placement year and Concord would take off and it flew directly over their house.
Starting point is 00:39:01 And I'm not kidding, every single window and every glass, everything would shake and rattle like an earthquake when it went over. No other planes would do that. And the first time it happened, I thought a fucking earthquake could hit Hampton. But no, it was just the fucking power of that plane. It's just crazy. Two hours from London to New York. I mean, that is insane. Wait, London to New York? two hours, wasn't it? I'm maybe I'm remembering wrong, but yeah, I think it was like pretty quick because New York, two hours, 52.
Starting point is 00:39:31 Phil Collins famously took it during Live Aid because he played at Wembley and then flew to New York to play live there as well. And they were like, that's nuts. Yeah. Philadelphia columns himself. Fucking hell. Philadelphia Collins. Yeah. Oh, here's a here's a plane headed to Frankfurt is taking off now. Not a big plane. That's only you ever go down to Heathrow and just do a bit of plane spotting.
Starting point is 00:39:56 Get your lawn chair out and your binoculars and your your flight tracker and stuff. No, no. God, no. Oh, it's tempting. I'm disappointed. This is what's the deal with Peru? Hey, guys, my name is Alan and I'm an OG tiny penis haver, a 22 year old electrical engineering student in L.A. Right. But I lived in Peru till I was 18.
Starting point is 00:40:19 OK, I've been listening through the podcast from the start recently and I've noticed the amount of times Peru is mentioned multiple times by you guys, despite the absolute lack of interaction with Latinos you guys probably have had. Yeah. I'd like to address all of the misconceptions about the country I've heard from you guys and let the listeners know we're not just munching on guinea pigs while petting our llamas. And snorting Peruvian cocaine as well.
Starting point is 00:40:42 The cocaine! Yeah. You can summarize my points to Lewis and Sips as I wouldn't want to take up too much of your time. Don't you worry about that. Well look, I think for us, as Britons, Peru has a kind of the connotation of being... Where Paddington is from. It's almost like saying, yeah, it's like where Paddington's going, but also in a sense, it's
Starting point is 00:41:02 almost like saying Timbuktu or something. It's like, oh, send him to Peru. Deepest, darkest Peru. Yeah, Paddington's going from, but also in a sense, it's almost like saying Timbuktu or something. It's like, oh, send him to Peru. It's kind of like, it's almost synonymous with the idea of somewhere far away. Right. And so I think it's in the modern parlance as a thing where we're like, you know, I'm going to fuck off to Peru or whatever. But it's also seen, I guess, as a destination for trendy gap year people, as an odd location to go. So I think it probably does get more mentions than Bolivia or whatever. And it's kind of fun to say as well. Peru and Bolivia.
Starting point is 00:41:41 Bolivia. Whereas, I haven't got anything interesting to say about Paraguay, to be honest, unless it's the World Cup going on and they happen to have made it through or something. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Yeah, exactly. But Peru, I think it does get brought up more than the other South American places. I feel like the less you hear about a country, the better really.
Starting point is 00:41:58 It normally means that, you know, things are just ticking over, hopefully nicely, you know? Yeah. No dramas. Let's run through these points. Um, you know, things are just ticking over hopefully nicely, you know, no, no drama. So let's, uh, let's run through these points. It'd be nice to hear occasionally from another country that, you know, they've, um, uh, you know, discovered something amazing or invented something amazing or, or, or started doing something differently or whatever. The, the news cycle is just so fucking awful nowadays.
Starting point is 00:42:23 It's, it's, it's unwatchable. It's just, well, maybe this will cheer you up. These are some fun facts about Peru. Firstly, manana is not money as Sips thought. No, I know. It's a long standing joke. I used to, I used to, I used to say it to a guy that I used to work with who he's, he was one of those guys that no matter how many times you said it, he would correct you
Starting point is 00:42:45 every single time and get annoyed, so I just kept saying it all the time. Sorry. Mañana. Give me some mañana. It's funny. It means tomorrow. It means tomorrow. I know.
Starting point is 00:42:56 Lewis mentioned being sacrificed by the Mayans in Peru once. The Mayans weren't Peruvian. You were out by about 3000 kilometers. We have the Incas, which you probably heard of, but they gain power by beating the shit out of the neighboring tribes from Cuzco and then assimilating their culture and religion to a war of rebellion. Where is Titicaca? Does that come anywhere close to... I need some TP from my bundle. I have no idea. Lake Titicaca. Yeah, it's south of Recre, somewhere. It says it is actually in Peru. Yeah, it's between like, it's half Peru, half Bolivia. There you go.
Starting point is 00:43:34 It straddles the border. They share it. There's a place called Copacabana as well. Yeah, at the Copa. Copacabana. Actually, I think- That's what Manolo was talking about. Yeah. That's no, Titicaca is one of the fetishes in Fifty Shades of Grey. Actually, I think that's what Manolo was talking about.
Starting point is 00:43:45 Titi Kakar is one of the fetishes in Fifty Shades of Grey. Nice, nice. Alright, Peru is very environmentally diverse, with three big regions being the coast, the Andes mountain range, and the Amazon rainforest. The cultures are starkly different in these three places, and even speak completely different native languages, although, I'm going to mispronounce this, Quechua got pretty far given that it was the Incan language. The coast is the more metropolitan region with all our big cities,
Starting point is 00:44:14 and that's where I grew up. We do eat guinea pigs, though it's more of a once-in-a-while thing. And yes, it's presented to you whole, looking like a rat that fell into a pot of oil when you weren't looking. There's always this shit that's local, like fucking eating jelly deals in England or whatever. That's not a local English thing though. Well, it's a London. But there's always this weird fucking niche, like traditional food that some people still
Starting point is 00:44:42 eat and you're, you know, something, we, some old man who's like, Oh, we fucking love eating guinea pigs. You ain't trying to guinea pig. Oh, fucking I eat 10 of them a week. You know, they're only small. It's it's just, it's the same. If somebody went on MasterChef and prepared that, do you think that the guys would eat it?
Starting point is 00:45:02 Fucking Mary Berry would be swallowing their meals, wouldn't she? Fucking loving them. No, the guinea pig. The guinea pig. They're like a domesticated delight over here. I think that there'd be an outcry. Alan says, I never liked it, but it doesn't taste like weird chicken. I'd say it's more similar to rabbit, but rattier.
Starting point is 00:45:21 To add to fucked up animal eating, the town of Chincha is known for eating cats. Oh no. So is that place in the US apparently? What was the place that they were saying they're eating cats and dogs? Oh yeah. They're eating cats. They're eating pets. It's a terrible thing.
Starting point is 00:45:39 The people from Haiti, come over here to eat our cats. That's all they're over for. Yeah, how long are you here to eat our cats. That's all they're over for. Yeah. How long are you here for, sir? Just a week. What are you planning on doing? Just long enough to find a cat. I'm eating as many cats as I can. I'm on a cat eating vacation.
Starting point is 00:45:55 Come on through. It's like that woman on Tinder, isn't it? It's like they that's their weird thing. They've got to eat cats like that. It's they can't control themselves. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's like the woman who wants to shave a dude's head in her closet. Maybe it's like maybe that's one of the 50 shades. I have to eat a fucking cat.
Starting point is 00:46:13 I'm going to lose it. You know, like it's maybe they have to. It just builds up over time. This they just have to eat one cat. Like when when Spock had Ponfar, which is the Vulcan mating cycle every seven years. And he gets incredibly horny. He gets so fucking horny. So what was Jordy LaForge's, uh, mating cycle then every episode? Cause that guy was like the biggest horn dog on the, on the enterprise. Jordy LaForge.
Starting point is 00:46:42 Don't mind him. It's his mating cycle again. He didn't, but he didn't, he fell in love with, Jordi fell in love with an AI girlfriend. No, he fell in love with Deanna Troy and she did not reciprocate. And then he was caught trying to get Jiggy with her in the holodeck. If you remember, pretty much the hologram version of her. And she walked in and she's like, Oh my God, Jordi, what are you doing? Thursday It's pretty much the episode summary. Because he made a hologram version of her. And she walked in and she's like, Oh my God, Jordy, what are you doing? Thursday's butt stuff.
Starting point is 00:47:10 He was jerking off so hard in there. He was ahead of his time. Honestly, with these AO girlfriends, he had, there was an episode where he, um, had to solve some problem with the warp engine, right? And so he got this... A famous scientist. A famous scientist came in like... Bunch of dick in it, Jordy!
Starting point is 00:47:28 We gotta move! Exactly. Oh god, it was frightening. The only way we can fix it is if you have sex with this hologram! Well somebody's gonna do it. That's why he's the best goddamn engineering stuff. Alright, so here are the fun facts. Quick fun facts. We're so corrupt we went through six presidents in the last eight years. One of them only lasted five days. I'll be honest
Starting point is 00:47:54 with you, I think we're in pretty much the same boat. Yeah, absolutely. That sounds like the UK. Yeah. Llamas are cool. But no one talks about alpacas and vicuñas, which are very similar and are worked just as hard. I like, we like, we're an alpaca enjoying family over here. I've never heard of a vicuña though. No, me neither. We on the coast love eating cow hearts on skewers.
Starting point is 00:48:15 We call it anti-chuchos. We almost paid off our entire national debt with guano, which is bat poop and bird poop. We love beef with Chileans and Ecuadorians starting from losing to them in wars we started. Oh, we have beef with Chileans and Ecuadorians, because they had wars and Peru lost those wars but they don't like each other. And they love dota. It's true. They really do. They do love dota in Peru.
Starting point is 00:48:40 So that is why we, that's why there's, cause I remember, yeah, there's always some Peruvian guys playing. Oh no, that's why there's, cause I remember, yeah, there's always some Peruvian guys playing. Oh no, that's more of an NA thing though. The NA's complain about the Peruvians, like EU complains about Russians. Exactly, right. Oh, you're right. Yeah. But generally all of the South American pros, most of them are Peruvian.
Starting point is 00:48:58 Like that's their game. Interesting. I feel like a lot of these South American countries, their borders are not concrete walls, they're just some inaccessible region. Yeah, well, I mean, I've played a lot of Victoria 3 recently and I can definitely confirm that. There is a lot of borders, like, borders seem to be mountain ranges and big impassable parts of the Amazon. Did we talk about the Darien gap? I can't remember.
Starting point is 00:49:29 Like, on this podcast. You guys know about that, right? It's the bit in... Oh, I know what it is. It's... There's a lot of places in Africa that are impassable as well. It's when there's a gap between a woman's thighs. She's slim enough that her thighs don't touch when she's dead.
Starting point is 00:49:46 You're thinking of Darren. Darren's Gap. Darren's Gap. Oh, okay. It's the area of Panama where the... Because there's not a road that runs the entire way from North to South America. And that's honestly kind of amazing. Kind of a shame, really.
Starting point is 00:50:00 It's a fucking nightmare building in there. I mean, you'd have to go through the bloody Amazon. Basically yes. And lots of people do. At one point they were like cutting it down a lot. Has that stopped or is that still going? Of course they're still doing it. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:50:17 They're doing it more than ever. They're not sort of doing it in a straight line though. They should. It would make more sense to just get a straight line in there, get a nice big highway. I mean, you know what they could do is build this highway right through the middle, but then have it all underground, just the longest tunnel ever. And there's no air down there and, and, uh, it's a vacuum. And everybody that goes in there dies.
Starting point is 00:50:38 Yeah. Nice idea. Well, or they're in a pod of some sort. Some sort of safety pod. Some kind of safety pod. God, imagine getting stuck down there in a pod of some kind. Some sort of safety pod. Some kind of safety pod. Imagine getting stuck down there in a pod. In the middle of the Amazonian jungle, 100 metres below the ground. It'd be awful.
Starting point is 00:50:52 Hi boys, I love the podcast. I've discovered on the BBFC, that's the British Board of Film Classification, website that some more popular TV shows have a rating for each individual episode. Ah, interesting. I am on the hunt for the show with the widest range of ratings. For example, Breaking Bad, which is overall an 18, has a pretty even mix of 15s and 18s and even has two episodes rated 12. So far, the show I've found with the widest range of ratings is Friends.
Starting point is 00:51:21 Some episodes are a U, some of them are 15. I am determined to find a show with all age ratings from you to 18. As an extra thing about age ratings, if you're interested, just wanted to point out how terrible Peggy are at ratings. Everything 16 or an 18. Yeah. Yeah. It's always 16 or 18, which is a nightmare for me as a kid.
Starting point is 00:51:40 As I had parents who were not strict at all, but took those ratings as gospel. Yeah. I wasn't allowed to play some Spider-Man games or even Castle Crashers. Mass Effect is rated a 12 by the BBFC, but an 18 by Peggy. Well, this has been actually really interesting lately because Bellatro was rated 18 quite famously. Oh, because it's gambling. Because it's based on poker.
Starting point is 00:52:01 And the in fact, but in opposition to that, games that are violent with loot boxes, that are actually having gambling, like Call of Duty and stuff, were rated like 12. It was kind of this huge thing. And Bellatro, the guy who did dev, was quite vocal about how ridiculous it was. And it was quite annoying because it meant that the game was restricted on certain platforms, things like this, right? Because people do care about it. And it was causing some problems. So he campaigned to get it changed. And eventually they did change it. It took almost a year or more. And it is because their rating system is very arbitrary. And quite frankly,
Starting point is 00:52:42 just out of touch with reality. But it's again, it's, it's the gambling is how you should present it. Right. Like, for example, there's the Pokemon trading card game app, right? Which is, I love that gambling. It's gambling. I got multiple copies of that on all my devices. It was one of the most popular apps in the world aimed at kids. And you know, it's, it's anyway, we've been through it before. I, but here's an update. This is an update email that Lucas sent. I found a show that ranges from you to 18. Right. And it is, it's quite a surprising result. Stargate SG1. Wow. The range of ratings on that show in one series alone, there are 18s use PGs and 12s. I think
Starting point is 00:53:24 it's because there's a full frontal nudity in the first episode. Is there? Well, thank you, Lucas. Interesting, apparently. Good to know I'm going to watch that tonight. The first episode of Stargate SG-1. Stargate Stargate 1. Stargate SG-1.
Starting point is 00:53:35 The SG stands for Stargate in that, by the way. Yeah, I know. This is really interesting, this show, actually, because I thought, when I first heard this guy talking about it, I thought he meant like on rating graphs, which is the website that shows IMDB ratings per episode, per season. And so when you look at Stargate SG-1, again, it has an incredibly wide range of ratings, as low as like a 5.9 and as high as a 9.5, which is surprising to see such a wide range. You tend to see a trend on rating graph. It just flags when something major has happened to the show, like with The Office US, where Michael leaves, the show changes. You can see The
Starting point is 00:54:21 Simpsons when it stopped being good and it's never recovered. Do you know what I mean? Stuff like that. It's just kind of fascinating to see these. I love Rating Graph as a website. It's got movie franchises in as well. So you can see the Alien movies and stuff. I use it all the time. And I wonder what... I mean, obviously The Simpsons would have an incredibly wide range. It has as low as a four and again, as high as a 9.3. Okay. Not bad. But it's been around for so long, but it did have a golden age as well. It's been around that long. Oh, Game of Thrones is a great one to see on the rating graph, right? Because it's like, it is on, I'll show you just, it starts off like unbeatable and
Starting point is 00:55:00 then just tanks. It starts off like unbelievably high. Like, yeah, like 9.6, 9.7, 9.9. The first couple of seasons were fantastic though. God, they were so good. And then it just like, actually just, it's like, it's like it falls off a cliff, like Wile E. Coyote style. It's astonishing. But yeah, it's like fun to get a picture of how long to watch a show for before it's all given up.
Starting point is 00:55:30 What's the ratings graph like for the UK Apprentice? Just like 20 seasons of it. Oh my god, I don't even know how you would even like... Actually that is a... I've got a link for you, here you go. It's weird. I imagine again, it's based off user ratings, right? So it's kind of all over the place.
Starting point is 00:55:47 Oh yeah, it is really all over the place. But I guess at the end of the day it's very consistent. I think some seasons are better than others for sure, right? It looks like it went completely bananas. Season four, episode seven, in 2008, total votes were nine. Average rate of play effort. Yeah, I don't think there's a lot of range on this sort of stuff. Alright, so here's, let's finish on this one.
Starting point is 00:56:16 At some point, I can't remember when, and I assume you don't either, well done Ed, you mentioned weird jobs. And wanted to share with you mine. Most people don't consider journalism a weird job, but that's because they forget that local papers still print. I work for a local paper and news website in Cornwall. And my job is, let's just say, somewhat different to how I imagined it. Instead of breaking Watergate II, I found that my role is essentially to speak to the weird, the wonderful, the furious, and the fuming. One such example was a man from Newquay who claims to be the bastard son of John DeLorean, late founder
Starting point is 00:56:48 of the DeLorean car company. This guy, Ty DeLorean, has just recently lost a lawsuit for making his own DeLorean cars, which are just modded Reliant Robins. One time he texted me- God, I can't pay attention because that plane is landing. Yeah, I'm trying to guess where it's going. Taking off! That one is taking off! That one is on its way to Egypt. Hong Kong.
Starting point is 00:57:11 Fuck. I went for it. So one time he texted me something along the lines of, I don't suppose you'd be interested in a story about the Taliban wanting to buy my cars. Suffice it to say, I've never mashed the call button on my phone quicker. What ensued was a conversation about how the Taliban supposedly want to buy his DeLorean cars and that while the Home Office forbade it, something to do with the scuffle when they came to power, I suppose, he would consider it if they cleaned up
Starting point is 00:57:35 their act a bit. So there is a link to this article, which I have here. He wrote. This is Ed's article at Cornwall Live. Son of DeLorean says Taliban wants to buy his cars. Now if you look there is a picture of one of these modded Robin Alliance. And it's got the wing doors on, like a DeLorean. If you're listening to this you're at the internet. Just go, just look. Does that guy require the pimp cane to walk or is it just like a showpiece?
Starting point is 00:58:08 I don't know. I don't know, but he's quite a character. Um, so yes, if you look at these cars, it is, they are literally modded Robin reliance. For those who don't know what a Robin reliant is, it's a three wheel car. The reason they were popular is you only needed a motorcycle license to drive them. You didn't need a full drive. Is that the blue car that Mr. Bean always crashes his mini into in the Mr. Bean series of Robin Reliant?
Starting point is 00:58:31 Probably. Yeah. My uncle had two because he didn't have a driving license. He had a motorcycle license. He was a motorcycle rider. He never got a driving license and Robin Reliant. First of all, they were cheap as chips, but they were literally made of like fiberglass. Like they weren't metal. It was like a fiberglass frame on a tripe. Is that what they used to drive on Only Fools and Horses? Trotters Independent Traders? Yeah. I think it was Robben Reliant. They were like the comedy car of the 70s and 80s,
Starting point is 00:58:59 because they were so cheap. And if you went too fast around a corner, it would tip over. The Taliban has been widely criticized around the world, centering on its poor records surrounding women's rights, ultra conservative politics, and centering opposition. Ty, however, said he'd consider taking them up on the offer. In my ambition, which is sometimes bigger than reality, I'd like to see the vehicle as a peace symbol. It could be used to negotiate with the Taliban and help get them to start dropping some of their hard line stances. And if they were to do that, maybe I could sell some of these to them. If they're doing anything bad though, if they're doing anything bad, I won't do a business with them.
Starting point is 00:59:41 That's so funny. Oh man. Oh my God. There you go. That's good. They need their country rebuilding and the US and British have caused far more atrocities and deaths than the Taliban ever did. Okay. Wow. So this guy, do you know what though? I think this is like that scam that happened in North Korea where they got Sweden to send them 50 Volvos or whatever that that they never paid for. And they still use them nowadays. I think the new guy is looking at getting some free cars for the Afghanistan-y leadership. And I don't think he really did his research here, reaching
Starting point is 01:00:18 out to the guy who mods these fucking Robin Reli into DeLorean's. Which is honestly insane that this lunatic is modding Robin Reliance into DeLorean's. It blows my mind. But god good on him. It's so funny. Thanks for the story. That's a really good one Ed and good luck with your articles. Plane just went over, headed to Launica.
Starting point is 01:00:47 Do you know where that is? Ummm... Launica? Launica! Is it Hawaii? L-A-R-N-A-C-A. No, I have no idea where that is. Oh, nice.
Starting point is 01:00:57 Cyprus. Oh, nice. Cyprus! Oh! Oh! Oh goodness! What was I thinking of? Laniaka or whatever. Sure. Laniakia.
Starting point is 01:01:09 Let's just make sounds and maybe one of them will be correct. Well it's the name of the supercluster where we are in the Milky Way. Oh, that one. The Laniakia supercluster. We're not being in Cluster are we? I thought we were on our lonesome way out at the end of a spiral arm. You wish. We're part of the Laniac Supercluster.
Starting point is 01:01:29 Wait, do you mean our galaxy? Yeah. Oh yeah. Well, you said the Milky Way. Have you played it? I'm saying in our galaxy, we're kind of- Which is our galaxy. No, I understand that. But the point is you're saying the supercluster of other galaxies. We're not in a supercluster
Starting point is 01:01:45 within the Milky Way. I sent you a pic. There you go. Look at that. It's a cluster of galaxies. Yeah, that's what I said. So that's Lan-Lani-Aki. It's not the same. That's not where the plane's going. Can I ask a question, please? When was the last time you played Stellaris Flax? Not in a while. Why? I don't know. I just haven't played it in years and I just wanted to. I played it. I played it last year.
Starting point is 01:02:09 Last time I played it, but it's just been so long. It's great fun. Yeah. No, it's really good. It's still really, really good. They put out, they put out, they put out a new DLC like last, Yeah, I can't remember, but it was well received. Unlike the fucking new Hearts of Iron DLC. Yeah. That seems to be getting shit on Left, Right and Center. Alright, listen, thanks so much for listening to our crappy podcast once again. I hope you enjoyed the mailbag and we'll see you next time. Bye!
Starting point is 01:02:34 Love you, bye!

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