Triforce! - Triforce Mailbag Special #6: One for the Hate-Listeners

Episode Date: October 12, 2022

Triforce Mailbag Special 6! Lewis busts open Pyrion's gorging mailbag with a real steamy one, we explore the strange world of bumper stickers and Pyrion gets wasted in a hotel elevator! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Eligibility restrictions apply. See casino.draftkings.com for details. Please play responsibly. Carl, that's right. Welcome back to the mailbag. Holy shit. Boom, boom, boom. Man, I'm excited for this one. I was running late this morning.

I was messaging Lewis and Flax, and Flax was like, oh, my God, I've got a big heaving bag this morning. Got a big bag. My bag is full of shit. Well, Perion even emailed me, forwarded me one of them as well, which I read. Shall I read it? Yeah, read that one out.

Is it a 100% certified cracker? This one is from Harrison. Right. He says, Earring Lewis, go on about Alan Sugar taking people for mugs. Pretty rich. Coming from the Yogg Ventures guy. Where's the money, Lewis?

You're just as bad you may be vegan and meditate but you were responsible for the biggest kickstarter scandal ever twat i mean fair play i guess as you can see as you can see this is a hell of a mailbag yeah i mean i i get it, dude. I don't quite agree with your take on it, but it's fine. That was 11 years ago now, guys. Wow. But, you know, fair enough, you got me.

I can't be critical of other people. No, you still can be. That's the thing, though. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I can. Okay, good. Well, we sorted that out then. Yeah. the thing, though. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I can. Okay, good. Well, we sorted that out then. Yeah.

All right, Harrison. Well done. It's amazing that people still listen to the Triforce podcast and are willing to send stuff in. We must have just a legion of hate listeners at this point. It's been going for so long. Well, now we're just so likable. They just forgive us for all of our mistakes, you know? Oh, God.

It's just good memories. All right, P-Flags, bring us some good ones. You want some hotties? Okay. Yeah, start with that and move upwards. Now, do you want to go to the most recent ones first, or the furthest ones back that I've gone first? Should we go in reverse order of

arrival i'm uh i'm i'm easy i just all right i'll just go with this one then yeah this is from fay saw this car that clearly belonged to a mega virgin and thought it would give you guys a good laugh uh not only does it have those very classy stickers on the back uh the stickers on the back the entire rear windshield says hashtag send nudes nice uh and then it also has kill all wipers and they've removed their rear windshield wiper for some reason which i don't think is a good idea i think that's actually technically illegal um i think you need a rear windscreen wiper um and then they uh apparently also had a sticker that said four four doors for more whores. Nice. That's from Faye.

Just, why would you drive around in such a vehicle? And it's got a spoiler, of course. It's got a fucking spoiler. Because your Ford fucking Focus here, whatever the fuck, looks like a Ford Focus, is definitely going to benefit from a spoiler. Congratulations, idiot. So thank you, Faye, for sending that in.

There is a place called Killer Wipersers which i've just googled it which is like a a fitting out shop or whatever it's called where they um fancy up your car you know like the pimp my ride type place there it is apparently windscreen wipers you know you got to kill all those windscreen wipers i mean that is that the main focus on making the cars look better that's like their main thing is getting rid of rear windscreen how do you wipe like what like if you're driving and it's really raining what what do you do like you just drive faster and let the wind take all the water off the windshield i don't know if people really like i don't know if it is even illegal to not have them i think it's maybe

it's like i'm almost certain it is a lot of people can't see out their back window anyway when they've got like right but that is against the law as well if you have a vehicle that has a back window i think you need to be able to see out of it a correction correct me if i'm wrong email yeah that's a mailbag addendum so what do you think the psychology is behind some of the bumper stickers, like the four doors, more room for whores and stuff like that. I think there's a big, especially in America, there's a big culture for bumper stickers. We don't have them as much over here. You tend to see people with the bumper stickers you have over here is

you see that little fish symbol that Christians have to put on their car. Otherwise, they get rounded up. That's the law these days. then you also have their football team there'll be a sticker like wolves or mad city whatever there'll be a sticker in the back of the car there used to be a bournemouth sticker in a car around here it always gave me cheer when i saw it yeah um but that's about it you know you might see a sticker whoever they bought the car from puts a sticker in the back of the car and they never remove it that's yeah that's a typical one with the family, it's like the mom and the dad and the number of kids, and also baby on board. Those are the stickers you see.

We didn't have a sticker for ours, but we had a... Where we bought our car from. There's no sticker, but, and this is really interesting. There was like a customized license plate covering, like a surrounding of the license plates that had it. That's very common. That's very common. And also, there was a personalized insurance disc holder, you know, like you stick it to the inside of your windscreen and it had the logo and stuff on it as well. I think that's your road tax isn't

it not insurance i don't know maybe it's different in jersey no it's it's we have like uh we have like an insurance disc it's like a like a paper but it is it's uh it's it's your actual insurance it's displayed like right on your so do you have to have like a uk sticker as well when you go to France. I think it says GB, doesn't it? Yeah. It used to be the case. I think it says UK now. I don't think it... You still don't see them much anymore.

We're not allowed in Europe anymore. I'm pretty sure you need them. I thought it said GB. It's weird, isn't it? You used to see them all the time. Yeah. It's blue with stars, isn't it? You'll see them from all over the place.

I guess it's like wearing a t-shirt, right? Except it's on your car. These people wear these stupid t-shirts to sometimes, like, I'm with stupid, or dumb stuff, right? That's like a funny meme that boomers think is funny.

I think bumper stickers are just like that. You know? They're such a boomer meme share. What about the bumper sticker honk if you're horny that's a good one that's what i'm talking about yeah i think the people who like them and the people who put them out there especially people putting their political views on their car first of all you're just inviting road rage i think a lot of the time but also they're the sort of people who are like

i'll just say it like it is and if you don't't like it, you know, that's just me. That's the kind of person, someone who would say that is the kind of person who would have, you know, death to hippies as a bumper sticker. Yeah. What about the bumper sticker where it's all in small writing and the small writing says, if you can read this, you're way too close to my car. But usually it has some swear words.

And then the other one is how's my driving 1-800 eat shit or something like that that's a good one 1-800 fuck off or something like these are all such boomer fucking they are big time my dad and mom would like be in hysterics if they saw that yeah yeah i don't think i don't think any self-respecting millennial would be caught with a bumper sticker um you know they'd be they'd be removing that funny sure it's a low what about those it's not like a sticker on the outside of your car but usually stick it to like the inside of your your windscreen or whatever but you can get it from like your local co-op store or something and it says like shop at the co-op or yeah we have oh my god well that's the thing i think if the shops give them away

i think that's actually where this is coming from it's not from people it's from the companies giving them away it must be like uh certain boomerish things like nascar or do you know what i mean things like this that would appeal to boomers like or football teams i reckon would give away like bumper stickers yeah maybe they probably sell them honestly because they love maybe yeah and then i i think the other thing is like you see those stupid um in the front window where they have like their names um above the the passenger seat of the driver's seat and sharon they have it in that green strip above the uh you ever seen those those uh those eyelashes that they put on to like headlights and stuff my kids love those dudes they fucking love them so much i'm not actually against that sort of

stuff like also the red nose they used to used to have red noses for cars very commonly around comic relief do you remember that actively gave away of course. Actively gave away. What about the fucking, like the big piece of cardboard with tinfoil on it that you put in your windshield? So, you know what? If you don't have those, I discovered,

you have to spend about 10 minutes in your car. This is mainly in the States or hot countries. You just have to turn on the AC and wait in the car until the steering wheel, like I was pouring water

when we went to Six Flags. The steering wheel the steering wheel like i was pouring water when we went to um six flags the steering wheel was so hot i was pouring water on it to cool it down and the water was just like evaporating on the steering wheel it was so fucking hot you couldn't touch it so i completely understand those those actually have a practice sun shields yeah yeah yeah they make sense all right let's move on to the next one when you said that when you said carport and shiny, I thought you meant like a fake spoiler someone had on the back of it.

Oh, yeah. No, that would be cool too, though. Imagine you just driving along and it just flies off, just rips around. Rips off. Fucking tinfoil everywhere. This is from someone. I'm going to call them D.

All right. And they say, Python, I hope your day is going well. I was wondering what is your most drunk experience from each of you? I was trying to think what is the most drunk I've ever been. And I've remembered it. I have remembered it. But it's nothing impressive happened, really.

This was at TI, I think it was TI6. And after TI6, so this is 2016, one of the other guys that I know on the Dota scene was staying in this Airbnb that came with this rooftop garden. And big enough, as large as a full-size bar, this rooftop area was huge. Had heaters, had seats and all the rest of it. And one of the other guys that was into Dota at the time was very rich and he bought all these booze, like thousands of dollars worth of

booze. They put it on the table and there was like a little kitchen room at the top of this rooftop area and it was just huge bottles of whatever spirit you wanted, loads of mixes, all the rest of it. So we finish at the after party, it wraps up at fucking midnight or something lame like that, the after parties always do, booze out and normally we just sort of go to the hotel lobby and drink there. But he like come to the party so we went to the party i'd already been drinking for a good few hours at this point i'd go there's just free booze and you just hey you want to one of our guys like yeah yeah bam so you're sinking all these spirits and i don't normally drink spirits and i've forgotten how they suddenly like kablamo they absolutely

they catch up with you certainly do yeah so i got so drunk that one of the things I'd said, I think I said it on Twitter or maybe in one of my PFLAX in the morning vlogs, that one of my dreams was to become famous enough that a woman would ask me to sign her bazongas. I always wanted to do that because I remember when I was a young lad, I was really hot for this girl that was at the other school. She was at Bournemouth school for girls we had drama class together she had enormous boobs and i really fancied her not just because of

the boobs but but she also had enormous boobs and she told me that she met a comedian um and she was a big fan of the comedian and got him to sign her boobs and he did it and i thought that is the most rock and roll thing ever i really want to sign a girl's boobs. So I'm at the after party and a girl comes up to me and says, period. Sorry, no, a guy comes up to says period. I heard you want to sign some boobs.

I was like, where'd you hear that? He goes, I heard your, your vlog. He goes, my girlfriend is right here. Sign her boobs.

I was like, do you have a pen? And he was like, yes. And the only penny had was a biro and his girlfriend was right there and she like pulled her top down a bit for me to sign on to the top of her boob and i was i can't do it guys i'm sorry i can't do it i it's gonna hurt if i push hard enough with the biro it's gonna hurt he was like no do it dude do it he was so drunk he was sweating i was like this is not like you're

here i'm worried this is gonna become a thing he's like no no do it i was like i'm sorry guys now that i'm confronted with the reality of it i don't want to do it thank you and they were really upset but i was so drunk man with the iron gaze this is what it is yeah i just this is why you have that reputation too professional even though you were nearly nearly so drunk that you still were able to resist that's so good but well done the drunkest point was we got back to the hotel that would have never ended up with i mean you're basically tattooing her exactly and it's a buyer that ain't coming off yeah so we we get back to the hotel i'm riding up in the lift and when the lift door was open i get off with a couple of my buddies

and i just stood there for a second i realized i I had lost the ability to stand or walk. And I just very slowly crumpled to the ground and just lay there right outside the elevator doors. And there were a bunch of other people in the elevator that we did not know who had clearly just arrived on their flight. And I thought, what kind of hotel is this? I just got out just very slowly.

Like those toys where you push the bottom of it up and they collapse. You know those ones where it's like, it was like it's all suspended that was literally how it collapsed and my two buddies had to carry me to my room and then they just sort of left me in there and as soon as they let go of me i just collapsed to the floor they were like are you gonna be okay i was like yeah and then i just woke up on the floor the next morning it's pretty good if you have a person who is that drunk you really do need to stay with them a while in case they're sick yeah i was sick i was sick immediately yeah i mean in case they're sick but they're too drunk too well i was they didn't want to have any part

in that so they just this can be quite dangerous yeah i can be careful that's my little tip with that yeah but i survived god i've i've that is a that is that's not as bad or embarrassing as as the the time i got absolutely destroyed um when i was when i was young but i mean obviously i got very very drunk the i think the most drunk was that night with the the gin the christmas advent calendar so we played a game of civ on yeah crabs are people and that was the most fun i've ever seen you be like no flame that was so you were just fun lewis it was amazing i was so basically i had to have a i had a gin advent calendar it had about it was a double sort of a double shot every day that's the point but um i was like if whoever's got the high score

every 10 turns or however many turns you were doing i would have this shot and so you know of course i was just ahead for the first hour so i had to maintain your lead i had a huge amount of gin and even though i didn't really i was supposed to sort of slow you down the whole point of the idea was that like you know you'd be inept at the game because you were drinking but the things we'd see if the score sort of takes time to catch up um so i just i just sort of stayed ahead you know because it's such a slow game yeah i think it might have been a time-based thing anyway i got absolutely wankered. You were properly wankered. And I think I had to stop halfway.

We had a break. We went to Five Guys. And I was sick and everywhere in the Five Guys toilet, which is one of the worst experiences of my life, let me tell you. I think you called me, actually. I'm pretty sure you phoned me up. Not from the Five Guys toilet, but whilst the stream was going on. No, it apologize no it was fucking hilarious people loved it brewis ginley that's where that came from but that was a terrible terrible thing to do I felt it was fucking hilarious absolutely awful

um but no there were a couple of times when I was a kid when I drank far far too much yeah when you're a kid that's always the case right I'm like the first time I ever drank, you know, like, I don't know if you guys remember the first time you ever had beer in your life, but it's like, it's kind of gross, right? The first time, like it's a, it's a taste that you, you get accustomed to, but when you're, when you're younger, you're, I don't think your taste buds are ready for it sort of thing. It's like, there's definitely a macho element to it as well, right? Like a kind of coming of age type thing, like a feeling that you have to prove something or drink more or eat the spiciest chili.

I mean, it's also the same when you're like 16, 17, 18. You're always trying to show off and, you know, be, you know, to your peers. And so that was a big part of it when you, you know, I mean, obviously you can drink at 18 18 here but i had been in the scouts um which i think it's called explorer scouts now but it's called ventures i've been in the scouts so i only knew that drinking was not a good thing it was shameful the venture scouts were all like 18 19 and you could join at 16 and so they all went to the pub and so i ended up you know at the pub drinking with them when i was 16 quite a lot it was a small village and so you know i'd i'd had quite a lot of experience getting absolutely hammered on these trips away and stuff it was

kind of just a very poorly managed drinking like a naughty naughty club for you know when you're a kid you know you want to try and get away with these things right yeah um and so yeah we'd have house parties and drink far too much far far far too much and um yeah definitely destroyed a few brain cells on those and i regret i regret all of it i i'll be honest with you i loved it from the outset there was no period where i was like i don't really like this but i'll plow through yeah i think it was because i was poor and anytime you get the chance to get fucked up and you're poor you take it honestly you're like man i can't afford more than two cans if someone's going to give me more cans i am drinking this yeah and it it was uh it was great i don't think it is necessarily if you're poor either. Like, everyone goes crazy for free booze.

Yeah. No, but I'm saying even before you- you know, you're saying you don't get a taste for it until you get older. I loved it right from the outset. Yeah. Beer for me was like that. And then, like, I mean, liquor as well, but liquor is- you can be a bit more subtle with it though, right? Like, if you mix it with something nice or whatever. But I've definitely had instances where liquor has just caught up with me all of a sudden. You know, you're drinking and you're feeling fine. And then all of a sudden it just absolutely mows you down, like in an instant sort of thing.

You know what? I suppose actually we've been doing this podcast a lot, but I think I've only hung out with sips maybe two or three times ever in real life at length yeah i mean yeah like if we're both if we both happen to be in bristol at the same time yeah but that's not not very often it's not super often no even then though like i like i'll drink socially but like i don't i don't really get drunk i get sort of like sleepy before i get to the point where i'm drunk like so like i'll get a bit tipsy or whatever but i mean the last time i was like anywhere near i don't ever think i've been blackout drunk in my life like i've had i've definitely been very drunk but uh but but not so drunk that i've made any big mistakes or yeah goofs or gaps or anything

like that you know what i mean like a surprisingly responsible around drinking but uh but the older i get the sleepier it makes me i find like if i if i have anything to drink now i'm just like i'm ready to go to bed like it is like a dad a a sunday dinner or christmas you know if i had like a pint of cider or something with food i'd be fucking dead. Like I just, I'm ready to go to sleep. Well, you need to try a cocaine instead of that. Maybe I should. Yeah.

Maybe that's the key. That is the key. The middle-aged thing. All right. Here's a, here's another email. This is from, uh, Feline Finney. Hi boys. The snapping at poetry readings.

Do you remember I was talking about people going. Yes. Uh, was used. Oh yeah, doing that weird thing. So it's used to signify appreciation for the poet. It allows for a quieter response to the readings, which were often held in apartment buildings. It wasn't specific for the performance you saw, which is why your search gave you no answers.

So the snapping response thing is a way of applauding without making so much noise. Yeah, I always just figured that that was the case because usually the places where you would see that happen and i mean i've only ever seen it happen in movies or on tv or whatever but they seem to be a lot more low-key right situations right it's it's kind of quiet there's no like pa there's no loud music or anything you know it's like so it would be kind of weird to have somebody just speaking in a normal speaking voice and then a and then just a roar of of ovational applause sort of thing so it's just to me it's very hipstery because it always used to be in old cartoons yes when they were in a sort of beatnik place it was always the snapping

the fingers to show appreciation I just thought it was funny. Sips, we got one that I think is pretty much right up your fucking butthole. Nice. There might not be room for it in there with all the Hot Wheels. This is from Adam. I won't give the usual preamble. Well, you just did, Adam. All right.

In numerous episodes of Triforce, Sips has mentioned about the London shit pipe underneath pipe underneath the river thames oh yeah yes i'm a civil engineer and when i first joined the company i'm currently working for i was working on the initial stages of this product back in 2015 yeah undertaking parts of the drainage utility design i had the privilege to go on a site visit and actually go down into one of the shafts before it was operational i've attached a couple of pictures i'm going to drag them now i'm going to i'm going to drag these to discord for you you're going to want to see this these are these are some pipes baby you you've not seen pipes like these in your life i love i love me some big pipes oh yeah i see them oh

shit yeah look at oh man the engineering is so fucking impressive look at the i mean that that is incredible yeah it's so good it looks like a tube tunnel yeah doesn't it it's just like one of those vertical shafts they dig for the when they're building the new like underground um hs2 route you gotta feel so satisfied to be involved on a project like that and see that as the end result. It's fucking awesome, man. But listen to this, okay? Just in addition to what Lewis just said, it's perfectly accurate. I have a touch of the pictures, blah, blah, blah.

It's an awesome project to work on, and I like the fact that every now and then Sips talks about it as it helps raise awareness of these projects and might encourage more people to take up a career in civil engineering. Yeah, hell yeah. Which we desperately need in this country. and might encourage more people to take up a career in civil engineering, which we desperately need in this country. I leave you with the knowledge that in the engineering industry, the Thames Tideway Tunnel is commonly referred to as high-speed poo. It's just because you called it high-speed too. I thought it was funny.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's hilarious. Cracking email. But look at that second picture. Oh, yeah. Look at that second picture. Look at the beauty of that curved tunnel and how perfect it is that is honestly ridiculous i've no i couldn't even begin to imagine do you reckon when it opens they should

have like a celebrity or like maybe the king come and like poo in it no you know what i think they should do they should flush uh boris down it you know like to test like to do like a test yeah just put a life jacket on him and then just fucking down you go boris we'll see you in fucking wherever you know where they have the big digesters they're out in the fucking country where it ends like uh you know they just wait for him like it's like a really long slide at center parks or something like that you know you just wait at the end that's what i think they should do that's how they should open every every piece of civil engineering they should just just flush boris down just drop some mp down he'd be down for that yeah i think some mp would they will forget about them being on

strictly or the mass singer any of these fucking garbage shows we should flush them down a shit pipe yeah yeah into the thames i watched i watched the documentary recently about the uh the queen is it the queen elizabeth line it's not it's the best baby i feel like i want to call it the jubilee line but the jubilee line exists already yes that was built so it's the newest line the queen elizabeth line which costs like 10 billion or something to make. It was a bit delayed. COVID delayed it as well. But it opened this year, right? Like earlier this year.

And the engineering around it is insane. Like they use some old, but they had to sort of retrofit some old buildings and attach new stations onto them without, because a lot of the old stuff is listed without damaging it yeah some of the brand new stuff is just fucking insane how deep it is putting the escalators in and everything i tell you what the stations look like on like the cross section it looks like some resident evil umbrella underground lab yeah they're amazing yeah because it's like A winding staircase going down a mile into the ground and then an elevator shaft and then

these weird little rooms. They had to move these high-powered fans in to form the ventilation system because if there's ever a fire or an accident or whatever, they've got to basically extract smoke or everybody

dies july or something when it opened where either way i went on it and i think i i did a pub crawl where we went all over it and i told you guys about it it really is it really is a beautiful line yeah i know it seems silly to get excited new trains all the trains are brand new like i think we're about the age where we're okay to get excited about trains guys i think we could admit that it's crazy though how much that we take for granted right like like anytime you leave your house there's a road there's drainage there's sewage there's lights everything and we we take it all for granted nobody ever thinks like how this stuff i fucking love trains i've loved trains ever since i bought transport tycoon back in back when i was like 16 you know um in the big box the big

pc box remember those big boxes that were like massively oversized for the games but all the pc games were sold in them and i i bought it and i took it home and i didn't know what the fuck i was doing but fortunately the AI knew even less. No patches in those days either. Wonderful time. Something busted, that's it. Yeah. Because if you needed to patch something, you'd need a disc for it, right?

And there was no place to download stuff. Well, no, but sometimes you'd get patches on magazines. In a magazine. Yeah. Yeah. A PC game or whatever. Anyway, here's another one. This is a good one. This is from Sam from Australia. This is an unexpected encounter with some gentlemen

at the gym. This guy was working out, have his usual time listening to the latest Triforce at the gym. Screen was open and beside me with the Triforce cover image visible on the screen. After I completed my set, two massive men who seemed to be in their fifties walked up to me and said something that seemed like an insult, but I wasn't too sure as I had my set two massive men who seemed to be in their 50s walked up to me and said something that seemed like an insult but I wasn't too sure as I had my headphones in I proceeded to remove them

and heard one of them say you must have a tiny dick at first I was offended telling them to fuck off until I realised that the other man was showing me his phone screen when he was also listening

to the latest Drive Force episode I then proceeded to laugh while apologising and he ended up helping spot me on my new personal shoulder press record this is the kind of fucking

scenario that you guys envisaged this is exactly what I was hoping for I know it's all come together oh man you want to cause these like almost you cause a fight I love that

but everybody has to feel so good after the fact that there was no fight right like it's such a disarming thing friendships have formed in such a bond only because there was already arms race you're you're the first step to making a new friendship immediately is humility right you're just like i got a small one and i'm not scared to say it that's true that's good that's very positive very no one's posting that on their tinder profile i hope well they'd only get notes from other triforce listeners i don't know i mean you know if you're if you're a triforce fan you want to hook up only with other triforce fans put it in there yeah just whack it in there let's give us a report whether you get any i'm just

wondering like if you're for example like if you're heterosexual you're posting on your tinder profile i have a tiny penis yeah do you think that gen i think generally that's going to turn women off right if you're a woman and you post i have a gaping vagina right i don't think that's going to turn men off right i don't think men are going to be like i think they would certainly uh certainly okay many of the internet men out there uh you know uh gaping vaginas is certainly a thing that they think is is a real thing if a woman has has been promiscuous right right that's it right so i see yeah okay so how about this own instead of actually putting out in full letters i have a tiny penis just put a hat like just the

or that is so cryptic or so cryptic or a hat you put that out there and other trifle systems will know what you're talking about and no one else will ask. You just put it somewhere at the bottom, Ihatpa. Or they might just ask you, what does... No, no, no, no, no, no. This will not work. This will not work. So people will ask you, what does Ihatpa mean? And then you say, I have a tiny penis. No, he'd just say,

oh, don't worry about it. No, but they think you might be part of some weird tiny penis club. Do you know what I mean? No, no, no, no. You could even just make sure that the first four letters in your bio of the first five lines... You could change the T to be all sorts of things, though.

You could say, it means I have a tender penis. I have a throbbing penis. I have a... Temporal portal. A tight... Tactile. There's all sorts of things

you could change it to could i have a time piece i have a time all right this one's from gordon um gordon hello he's a 23 year old scottish lad studying artificial intelligence and cognitive science at a uni in the Netherlands. Relistening to old podcasts keeps me company when I cycle back and forth to my classes. I've been listening to the podcast since it began. Going 23 years old, what's he smoking, like 100 a day or something? It's a hard life up here, Sipty.

Your voice is used to cancel out the nightmarish sound of the ScotRail Glasgow announcements when I was at college. I'm currently writing my thesis and that made me curious about what you guys wrote your thesis on. As I understand you all have technical degrees. Oh, I didn't have to. I went to college, so I didn't have to write a thesis. I did a final project, but I thought in order to write a thesis wasn't that for a masters? maybe it's university stuff in Canada anyway thesis and

all that I mean I went to university we didn't have to do a thesis we just had to do a final year project it was like I just had to write a computer program yeah I think thesis is something to do with like furthering your degree right like masters or PhD I thought thought it was yeah yeah but uh yeah that's my masters i did one um i'm just trying to find it i don't actually know the

full title anymore because it was a long time ago but it was it was to do with the michael edition reaction my uh my final project for for programming in uh in college was we had to write a multi-threaded chat application in Java. So I had to write software to host a server. And then I had to distribute in the lab to 10 other people that were in my course chat client. And they had to open the client on their computer and connect to the server that I created and chat for like 10 minutes without it all crashing and throwing up errors and stuff. That was my final project. My final project was a little thing. It was sort of a message board where you could post pictures and updates of what you were up to.

You could connect with other friends. Never really took off. Sold it to a guy called Mark. I hope he did all right with it. Yeah, it sounds like if it's the same Mark that I'm thinking of, he was quoted recently saying that being the CEO of this company that I'm in charge of feels like waking up every morning and getting punched in the stomach.

So I don't know if it's worked out too well for him. Is that what Mark Zuckerberg actually said? Yes. Wow. God, I wish that was true. Yeah. feels like waking up every morning and getting punched in the stomach. So I don't know if it's worked out too well for him. Is that what Mark Zuckerberg actually said? Yes. Wow. Yeah. God, I wish that was true. Yeah.

I can't find it. It's gone. It's lost in the midst of time. Well, additional message from Gordon. PS, some of your AI conversations have been really interesting and I frequent the comments sometimes to see what the keyboard warriors are typing. I can say wholeheartedly that 99% of AI, or at least AGI, which is artificial general intelligence, is philosophy at this point, especially regarding what consciousness is. So there's rarely any wrong answers. Thank you, Gordon. Appreciate that. Appreciate you saying that. Appreciate you. Keep it up.

Thanks, Gordon. Here's one. This is in response to something that we spoke about a few episodes ago, actually. I am Thomas from Germany, and I love listening to your ramblings while doing mindless tasks on the computer. As the topic came up again as a recent mailbag episode, I remembered that Lewis, being Lewis, left out some details in his recounting of the documentary. This is the one about the doctor, the fertility doctor. fertility doctor the doctor had rheumatoid arthritis which excluded him from being a sperm donor and which unfortunately has been inherited by several of his kinder children sorry excuse me children he uh didn't he did not just lie about the sperm being from anonymous doctors and other people from the nearby hospital he also replaced sperm samples from from the husbands and partners

with his own before impregnating the unsuspecting women. Many of the children apparently live within a 40 kilometer radius within each other and are around the same age. Therefore they themselves and their children sadly do have to be concerned with consanguinity while looking for

partners in their era. Yeah, of course. There's a bunch of there are a bunch of problems. That's true. They do. There's a bunch of... There are a bunch of problems. Dankeschön, Thomas. It's a very Crusader Kings problem that's been created here. Yeah, for real.

You're trying to look for a lusty genius. You're trying to find a perfect betrothal and the text in the dialogue box says, careful, this could result in their children becoming inbred so exactly yeah i guess i i hope i wasn't too positive on him i didn't think i was i just i i don't know there's this we made like a bit and i think it's much worse than we made out i think is is the summary we we did we definitely bad we didn't lord the guy and say definitely not okay well played but also i don't think it's the crime of the fucking century it's definitely bad. We didn't lord the guy and say, oh, well played, Doctor. But also, I don't think it's the crime of the fucking century. It's pretty bad.

It's pretty bad. It's pretty bad. I would say that that's... It was a different time, though. It was in, you know, it was a very different time. There's also World War II. We're not going to say that that wasn't exactly a bad time. You can't try to justify this.

It's just pretty bad. It's pretty fucking bad. It's pretty bad. It's ruined a lot of people's lives. Pretty damn bad. Like, really bad. Yeah. Did it ruin them?

Yes, it ruined them. I don't think. I think they decided to let it ruin them. Oh, good heavens. Oh, my God, man. There's a hot take for you. So it's the victim's fault? I'm going to check your ratio on this one.

They're not victims. Oh. Well, has he committed a crime? Yes, he definitely has. Well, then they're victims, right? Well, if you're a sovereign citizen, mate. He's not in prison, is he? No. I don't think he has committed a crime? Yes, he definitely has. Well, then they're victims, right? Well, if you're a sovereign citizen, mate. He's not in prison, is he? No.

I don't think he has committed a crime. I think he absolutely has and he should be. No, I mean, obviously I'm not happy with it and I think it's gross. But I just think that sometimes I just think it's also gross that some of the people have a mindset where it is poisonous to other people you know it's like you're just finding this out and the first person you me imprints with their mindset on you that this is a terrible terrible thing you've been wronged and your life is now ruined you know oh yeah they were very happy up until that yeah so that sort of thing is obviously i remember we i was talking about it now and saying that essentially it's almost like it's almost like um would you

want to be told something that is going to completely change your opinion about everyone you know and your life and all the rest of it yeah what good can come of that is it essentially if you have never told literally no upside right from this if you'd never told them would they be happy i'm not saying people shouldn't educate themselves about stuff and you know but in some cases ignorance is bliss but also your take on it and your personal you know you have to work through these things and make a choice about whether you're gonna let this ruin your life you're gonna let this be like okay look i think some of the people are crusaders um with a very fixed mindset that this is an incredibly negative thing and it should ruin your life right um which is incredibly incredibly toxic well

they're upset so i think some of the and when you're upset you try to find comfort in sharing no but they're they're not upset with other people they are terminally upset they are poisonous for years they have a um they've dedicated their life to discovering their siblings and ruining their lives because their life was because they've allowed their life well they've taken this mindset that's incredibly negative and poisoned everything in their life and now they want that to happen to other people i mean this wouldn't have happened if that person hadn't done what he'd done in the first place, though. You know what I mean?

They're upset, rightfully so. And through their grief and upset, they think that other people must know the truth because it's essential or whatever. I get it. Some people might not want to know that or might not need to know that. But there's no accounting for the fact that somebody's upset about something i mean think of the last time you were upset about something you weren't a hundred percent rational either like it's i think even the doctor an emotional response to it totally is an emotional response but in in some cases it's this um i just didn't

like the approach that they would sure do you think that it sure but it can i just chip in here do you mean or like like like mormons coming in do you think uh that that in a way letting it consume your life is accepting that this has ruined your life and and furthering that that ruination by becoming so focused on it and then telling everyone else about it as well, in a way, isn't a positive response to this situation. I think that what you can do is, right, this sperm doctor guy, you know, he basically, sure, he thought he was helping, or at least that's the impression, that he thought that these are women who can't have children for whatever reason. I'm going to help them. You know, we can't get the sperm. So we want these people to have children.

They had children. They were happy. They were fine. 30 years later, they find out that the doctor has done things that weren't illegal, but were certainly not morally okay. And it's resulted in them potentially having rheumatoid arthritis, sure, you know, or not. Not just that, but they also have to be careful about who they because

they yeah because they have no idea who they're actually related to because absolutely this guy behaves so unethically like it's so it has longer term effects is there really no law against this like he didn't probably not because no but the thing there's probably no um strict laws against it because it's not something that happens commonly at all like there's probably no strict laws against it because it's not something that happens commonly at all. There's probably a handful of cases like this. But this was at the very founding, this was at the very, very first time that this sort of fertility treatments were being done.

These are the first test tube babies, if you like, Ray, or whatever. This was even before test tube babies. He was just turkey basting other people's sperm up women you know basically yeah it sounds like an average weekend honestly which is not anyway look the whole point is that you know if you're if you imagine if you found out that you know you this this had happened to you you know it's like it's like sudden it's like this can of worms that you said he was wasting sperm up there. He said, well, no, but what I'm saying is up there. No wonder they're having problems. When you find out that this has happened to you, if no one found out and it probably wouldn't have affected a lot of these people.

Right. Almost in any way. Sure. You don't want to end up, you know, marrying your brother by accident. But, you know, I think that and so they should they should know that this is a thing but i think that the people who were doing it were doing it and reaching out in a way that was wrong right it's like these people sure this is this is a traumatic event for them right and you need to approach it in the right way and they need to talk about it with probably someone who's a trained therapist or someone who's rational. What they were getting was crazy woman yelling at them and doomsdaying them. So they were really upset and traumatized. This woman is traumatizing her brothers and sisters.

That's what that's what the problem I had was in her language and in her crusading nature, if no one knew about this, maybe someone would have accidentally had an incest baby. But because people know about this, all of these brothers and sisters, their lives are being massively traumatized by this woman who is clearly traumatized. Interesting. Let's move on. Let's move on. I think it's a good point. It bothers me. Here's another. Here's a completely different one.

Okay. This is completely different. Sips, this is specific to you. Right. I was listening to the recent mailbag episode, heard Sips talk about how driving in Jersey is absolute hell. Interestingly enough,

despite having never been to Jersey or even know anyone from Jersey, I know this to be a fact. And the reason they know it is because they play a lot of GeoGuessr. And when you try to guess your location on the Google Maps, I've managed to win multiple games on Jersey rounds because I've come to be able to identify it for its particularly narrow, winding streets.

If it kind of looks like a mix between the UK and France, doesn't have UK license plate, has very tight roads, almost always Jersey. Yeah. Really? I learned this from a Northern Lion stream. um really learned this from a northern lion well i guess it could be good it could be guernsey too he learned this from a northern lion stream where northern lion mentioned sips when making the guess that it was jersey yeah he got it right too he meant he he got it he got it right like i i saw the clip and i i think i almost recognized where he was as well. I mean, it's a small place, but I mean, you got to remember it's an old place too, much like parts of rural England. You know, you had roads designed for horses and carts, right?

For agriculture. And all they've done is just paved them over with tarmac. I mean, also you guys don't have motorways. We have an avenue on the front, but no big motorways. It's 45 square miles. There's no... Exactly. I mean, there isn't a big need for large roads and everything.

No. No one's going anywhere in a mad hurry because it's not going to take you long to get there anyway. Sure. But the problem is that there's lots of what they call green lanes, which appear to be the size of a one-way road but they're two ways so well that's common all over the uk sure you're trying to get you're trying to drop your daughter off at her gymnastics lesson which is at like a fucking house in the country right and then there's three other houses that use that same road to go to town or whatever so somebody has to park in a field so that somebody can go buy and stuff yeah and do they not have the little tuck-in sometimes they do sometimes but honestly i

do not think that's specific to jersey anyone that drives anywhere in outside of the city of course but on average people aren't you know like if you live in the city you're not you're not just driving in the in the countryside all the time like uh like no like a hundred percent of our driving is this like because you can't help but be driving in the countryside right so yeah you're basically a series of small villages and one and it's and it's hilly too so we have like lots of um lots of roads that are that are quite steep so lots of hill starts and stuff like that so when you're learning to drive you you have to learn how to uh how to hill start what's the what's the

best season to come to jersey would you say oh summer for sure it's seasonal right yeah so like now you know you're not in the mid-october through to about uh april uh a lot of stuff closes like hospitality like winds down we're gonna fucking come over yeah come over in the summer man the baby will be bigger like uh it nice hotels like if you like seafood holy shit there's like tons of seafood well no we were gonna stay with you you can stay with me we got a tent we could set you up in the backyard. Stay in the garage. Yeah, you could stay in the garage. There's no- No, no, we'll get it.

Good lord. Sit on my kid's bikes to rest your keister. I know you're running out of space with the people you got there. Man, yeah. Definitely a squeeze. Here's another email then. This is from Theodore. Hello, Ted, Chris, and Lewis. I'm not sure how I feel about that. My name is

Theodore, and I live in Sweden. In episode 228, you guys talked about how different lesser-known TV shows and movies are in the Anglosphere, but are very popular in other countries. A very popular TV program in Sweden is Kala Ankas Julufton, which is Donald Duck's Christmas Eve.

Nice. The program is about 60 minutes long, consists of different short films featuring different Disney characters. The program first aired in Sweden in 1960, starts at 3 p.m. every year on Christmas Eve. Every Swedish person has seen or at least knows about this program, and it has a near religious following. I've heard about this. In 2021, they broadcasteded at 3 0 5 instead of 3 p.m caused an uproar and people demanded it be

returned amazing this is one of these weird little um there's always little christmas traditions yeah there's lots of little weird christmas traditions in like what is shown and stuff too, right? Like a lot of people say that they watch Die Hard because it's a Christmas movie. And like it's tedious. It is, I guess. But like it's a great movie. Don't get me wrong. But that conversation is very tedious. I said before, it's a conversation and a debate, if you like, that people have at a pub with

people they don't really know, work colleagues, stuff like that. Someone's like drinking games. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually needs drinking games if you're that people have at a pub with people they don't really know work colleagues stuff like that someone's like drinking games yeah actually needs drinking games if you're with friends you only need them if you're with people you don't really like or or know that's the only reason you'd need that and it's the same with this kind of fucking debate anyway carry on chris sorry the um when i was a kid the the big ones for for christmas were uh how the Grinch Stole Christmas, the animated one from like the 60s or whatever. That was always on. And Mickey's Christmas Carol. Right. So another Disney one where it was a Christmas Carol,

but it was, you know, with Mickey and Goofy was the, was it not Bob Marley, Jacob Marley. Right. It was Goofy not Bob Marley, Jacob Marley. Right. It was goofy. Bob Marley. And Scrooge McDuck was Ebenezer Scrooge, obviously. I would like to know if the Star Wars Christmas special is the Christmas special in any country in the world.

Yeah, I don't know. Someone somewhere is like, sit down, kids. It's time for the star wars christmas holiday special i would love it if that was nowadays for my kids it's like and and probably yours too flax it's like it's all the julia donaldson stuff right the gruffalo yeah but they're too old for it now yeah this is not the same though right what this guy's talking about is something that is ingrained into their culture. It's played every year and everyone knows about it, but no one outside of that country knows about it.

And it's a bit weird. We don't have that, I don't think. This is one of those things where, you know, the Swedish people say, oh, don't you watch, you know, Jag, Tag, Jule, Jule every Christmas? And we're like, no, of course we don't. This is off the back of the conversation about the German show, right? About the rich woman and her waiter or whatever.

Yeah. Same as last year, man. Same year. Same as every year, James, or whatever. I guess the closest we might have is the John Lewis Christmas advert or something that's been going for a long time. But that's not the one. What about the Coca-Cola Christmas ads?

I guess everybody gets those. The holidays are coming. Right. Holidays are coming. We don't have a show but it would specifically need to be a show made by a foreign country

that we have adopted as a Christmas ritual and we it is it's very strange I cannot think of anything like that I cannot think of anything

like that I mean obviously there are things that everyone sits down together and watches like the Queen's I guess it'd be the King's speech this year

yeah you know it's gonna be weird Merry Christmas and Merry Christmas oh yeah together and watch the king's speech this year. It's going to be weird. Merry Christmas. Please don't look at my puffy hands. Avoid looking at them. Obviously a frightful year.

Mummy died, which is very bad, very sad. Thank you to everyone that stood in the queue when I was reviewing her body. Talking of queues, I was in a queue the I was reviewing her body.

Talking of queues, I was in a queue the other day. He's just going to ramble and complain. Waiting for a bus, which I've never done in my life. I've got to say, the bus was filthy and disgusting. There was a young man on there.

He said to another young man, I have a tiny penis. If this is what the country's come to, really, it's fateful. I was shocked. Have a good Christmas. Please, don't talk to me all right that is enough of that thank you everyone that was a mailbag we'll see you next

week bye