Triforce! - Triforce Mailbag Special #8: Sips' Flesh Tunnel

Episode Date: November 23, 2022

Triforce Mailbag Special 8! We're digging deep into the mailbag while we figure out the best role in the military, we explore Sips' fleshy-Dr-Who-Intro and we keep getting interrupted with Netflix shows no one will watch. Go to http://auraframes.com/triforce to get $50 off their Carver Mat frames. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Go all in on fun with DraftKings Casino. Head to the App Store to download. Explore a full suite of games and find your favorites today. DraftKings Casino, the crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call Connex Ontario. 1-866-531-2600. Welcome back to the podcast saucy nothing sexier than a trifles podcast oh man i i have been i have been really really dadding it up recently i know i i normally do but uh recently much more so than normal because guess what happened to our downstairs bathroom? Oh my God, wait, are you going to have a plumbing story too? Because I also have a plumbing story.

Yeah, we had some leaky pipes. The pipes run in the ceiling downstairs in our bathroom and there was a leak. There was like a pinhole leak on the bend of the pipe. Pinhole leak. Yeah. Which just got worse and worse over time. So much so that the water started leaking across the top of the ceiling. And then down into like the light switch.

And tripped the power. And my family were like freaking out. They thought the house was going to catch fire and stuff. And you could see water pouring out of where the light switch was. Right. So we had to get an emergency plumber out who had to like cut a whole bunch of holes in the ceiling. And then only to tell us that where the pipe bends,

like it's sort of like tucked in between the wall and the joist. So he can't actually access it to fix it. So he's just had to cut the pipe. So our downstairs bathroom is just completely out of action right now. Oh my goodness. Cannot use it. No sink, no toilet. And we're probably just going to have to renovate the whole damn thing because now is the best time to do it, right?

It was looking a little bit dated. Louis, I don't know if you remember, it has tiles with like ducks on them and stuff like that like looks like somebody did a really good job of it like in the early 80s but like it's time to it's time to spruce it up now it's a quiet little room and you you easily forget about these things you know it's the downstairs loo how you go in there it's very functional it's not a room that you really show off so yeah those are the kind of ones that get dated but yeah time for a time for a renovate that's right so now we're uh we're in the uh in the throes of a full on they got to strip the tiles they got to do some plumbing we got to get some electrics in we want to put some new flooring and down in there it's only a little tiny display have you picked

out anything new no i think we're just gonna like whites and grays you know like just make it look kind of modern like maybe like a hotel bathroom or something like we don't really we're not too fancy you know like we're not uh we don't need to like do it we don't want to like paint a mural in there or like do like the sistine chapel on the ceiling or anything like that we just want uh something something that looks clean and it's functional it's big enough for you to stand it and close the door and that's yeah exactly it doesn't need to be too fancy right yeah so but uh but we might get uh we're thinking about maybe getting a corner sink which uh is pretty fancy actually with a little cabinet uh underneath it and maybe even putting a shelf up in there too so and if we put a shelf up in there

you know what i'm gonna get i'm gonna get one of those little like pencil pot fake plants with like a vine that got like that that goes down to you know make spruce it up a little bit make it look like holy shit there's there's plant life in this in this bathroom so boy i got some big ideas i've got a much smaller problem, but a very annoying one that like in a way, I wish it were a bigger problem because I will basically need to do this myself. It's too small a job to call someone out to do. Right. Cause it'll either be, they'll be like, I'm not doing a job that small, which is fair, or it would cost a fortune because they'll charge, you know, for the full hour here's the problem we

had a new tap fitted about six months ago to the kitchen sink it's a really nice tap but the problem is one of those one that bends and like you can take bits off of it and like use it like a shower hose and stuff it's exactly that kind yes so it's a really really good tap um hands down best kitchen tap i've ever owned, right? Easy. But we have a big, one of those sort of Belfast sinks, big sink, with a draining board on one side that runs over the kitchen counter and the tap is there on the left-hand side of the sink. And directly beneath that draining board to the left of the sink is the dishwasher. And it's a fitted dishwasher. It's fitted into the kitchen unit.

Yeah. So the tap is behind the dishwasher. And getting to it, there's a tiny little bit has been cut out of the wooden surface inside beneath the sink so you can get to the tap. But it's extremely awkward and you have hardly any space. You can barely fit a hand in there. And I've got in there with my torch and the tap is now loose. Like the whole thing is jiggling around in its fitting and in the sink and there are these long screws

with these hexagonal bolts that are sort of up uh that you have to tighten those up underneath to hold the tap in place now my mum bless her every time she comes to stay i swear to god all right no cap she will break something in the house. She's very heavy-handed for an old lady. I don't know how she manages it, but she's broken a shower like every time she's come to visit. She regularly breaks taps.

I don't know what the fuck she's doing, but she does it every time. The tap is now rich. Don't they have a dainty old lady's school that she could go to to learn how to be less heavy handed? It's like having the Hulk over to stay. You know, this tap is rock solid.

My mom's here for literally 10 minutes and the tap is loose. I'm like, mom, what have you done? She's like, well, the tap's loose. I was like, it wasn't loose. Just hulking out on your taps. Yeah. I was like, it was not loose until you started using the tap. Like, what have you done to this tap?

So I can't get in there to tighten it up so i've ordered something called a tube wrench which is like a long tube that you fit over the screw and then over the bolt and tighten it and it should work in a tight angle if this doesn't work i don't know what i'm gonna do that's gonna work for sure by the way i know i know what you're talking about and that that'll do the job. Right, but here's the problem. I can't get flush under the tap. Imagine it's about just a few centimeters in.

So I'm going to have to hope that I can get this thing up under there. It's going to be a nightmare. It's going to be an absolute nightmare. When you're getting under there, are you wearing jeans without any underpants on so that you can ensure that you're displaying as much crack as possible i'm laughing as a plumber yes right okay well i don't know what the problem is then because like it sounds like you're doing everything that a normal plumber would do right exactly but when the guy fitted it he was a professional plumber obviously yeah he was cursing and swearing the whole time he was like this is a fucking nightmare yeah and he was like if i can't get this done soon

i'm gonna have to take the whole fitted dishwasher out and they never quite go back in right it's a nightmare he said you really really have i really you're gonna have to cross your fingers and hope i can get this done and luckily he was able to do it but it was clearly a massive massive struggle for him oddly enough he was just a regular looking plumber but he had perfect fake teeth like glowing white it was so surreal and when he finally got got it yeah like but they were like they're so white it's it's like the whitest paint imaginable was the color of his probably like They were probably like bathroom tiles. Like enamelled teeth. It was so strange.

Anyway, chaps, I don't know how you feel about doing a mailbag episode today because we're a little bit behind. I've got quite a few emails here to get through. Whatever. Go for it. Lewis just doesn't give a fuck. He's like, whatever. Just hit me.

I just want to listen. Yeah, whatever. No, I'm down for whatever. I'm easy this morning. I've done nothing in weeks. I've been ill. I'm down for whatever is better than whatever you know what i'm saying anyway this is from uh tanesh from uh singapore which is i was there uh just last week yeah um so he said he's a singaporean he's really enjoyed ti and all the rest of it uh so got some interesting information about sing Singapore to share.

You guys might not know this. I didn't know all of these. There is a racial quota imposed on all government housing so that if the quota for Chinese people in a building has been filled, no more Chinese people can live there and it's only open to other races. But that was quite interesting. That is interesting. Yeah.

You can get fined for littering, drinking slash being noisy past 10.30pm, bringing durian fruit onto public transport because it's very smelly, being naked in your own home if someone, I guess, can see you through a window or something, and not flushing public toilets. Those are all finable offenses. You can get fined for being naked in your own home if somebody can see you? Apparently so. Yeah. Crazy. I'm naked in my own home if somebody can see you? Apparently so. Yeah. Crazy. I'm naked in my own home. Well, not as often as I'd like to be, honestly, because I've got lots of kids.

Yeah. As often as it's feasible. If it weren't for them, I'd be naked all the damn time. Right. Wandering around. But you'll get a fine in Singapore, mate. Because over here, you're entitled to privacy in your own home. And unless you're standing in the window, jiggling it around, if someone peers through a window and sees you that's on them yeah that's on them i'm a curtain

closer i'm a curtain closer i am as well but i'm a curtain closer but i'm also of the mind that if you're looking and you see something you don't want to see shouldn't have been looking you know shouldn't have been looking if you're in my own house yes i'm fully erect standing at the window but that's your problem and not mine buddy yeah uh you uh to control traffic if you want a car you first need to purchase a certificate of entitlement which is the thing that allows you to buy a car and usually costs more than the car itself and then you're only able to keep the car for 10 years before it has to be destroyed and scrapped how about jesus a lot of the land around the coastal areas in Singapore is reclaimed land

made from our rubbish. So they just chuck all their rubbish close to the land, I guess, pack it down and there's your land. You're just living on a bunch of old rubbish. And the Marina Bay Sands Hotel cost four and a half billion pounds to build. How about that? Holy crap. Wow, really? Yeah, that's insane. That's half of what Elon Musk is going to pay in taxes this year, according to him on Twitter, if you believe any of that. Oh, so just quickly. With the boat on the top. Yes.

I saw it, but I didn't go up it. My friend's son's fan stayed in it. He stayed in it for a couple of days after the event to see what it was like when his wife came out. And what did he think? Well, he posted about it on Instagram. It looked fucking amazing. It looked absolutely fucking amazing.

Nice. Yeah, shout out. Can we just talk about the whole $8? Big up or just shout out? $8. No, no, just shout out. Can we just talk about the $8 for a Twitter verified thing very quickly? Yeah.

Okay. I've not heard this. Sorry. So Elon Musk, he initially said that if you want a Twitter verification mark, it's 20 bucks a month. And anyone who wants one can get one if they pay 20 bucks a month for it. Yeah. Stephen King, oddly enough, on Twitter called him out. And Elon Musk then said, how about eight dollars?

And the price is now eight dollars. I would have come back if I was elon musk i would and i know he's a bit like like this as well like uh and and shouldn't be but i would be the same i so if if stephen king called me out on something i would say how about eight dollars and also you write better books i would i would i would be brutal with it i I would just be like, fuck you, Stephen. I mean, he has been one of the most successful authors. How is it not his business? I know. I'm not saying I dislike his book.

I just like, you know, just as like. You just chuck it out there. I would just chuck it out. Like, even if I loved his books, which honestly, like, I can take them or leave them. Like, I've read some and like the ones I have read, I like. Stephen King is 75 years old. One of the most prolific writers in the history of anything he's written like like a hundred books right yeah he's enormously successful hugely hugely famous but regardless i don't think him and elon should be going back negotiating i would just say something like if

i own twitter and i could just say whatever the hell i i like two enormously rich people yeah i would just actually say maybe i should maybe i'll pay pay less like bickering over eight bucks i mean but but so the issue is that he said that the whole this is musk he said the whole plan was to remove the lords and peasants system right that's what he said. Now, first of all, a lot of people that have this checkmark are not rich. They're just someone of public interest, shall we say. A journalist, for example, or a published author, or a politician, or something like that.

And the reason to have it is not some sort of medal of honour. Right. It's because there's fake versions of you out there. And this is how you can guarantee twitter is pretty shit at shutting them down exactly right so it's it's literally just to say and stuff this is that confused with the real one exactly right and early on he's sick of there being too many lords on twitter he wants to be the only lord and collect his taxes from the peasants i mean come on that's the thing it's a guy who's a literal billionaire. I believe he's the richest man

in the world. The moaning Twitter's lords and peasants system. This is a billionaire, a multiple billionaire complaining, oh, it's all just lords and peasants. All right, give your money away then, chum. Give it all away if you want to even the playing. But what are you talking about? He clearly bought Twitter just to fuck with people. And I have a feeling that when he says lords and peasants and he's all up in the whole blue checkmark thing because a lot of people with blue checkmarks tend to be like more liberal calling out people like elon musk for his bullshit and he doesn't want it anymore and now he owns it and he's thrown his toys out the pram it's it's laughable it's the most laughable thing and if

you want to see twitter destroyed he's going about it the best way possible by just fucking ruining it. Yeah, a lot of people are saying they're going to leave the platform. Well, the issue is where are they going to go? Yeah. I mean, loads. Don't listen. Don't email me in with suggestions.

I've heard about your mastodons and all the rest of them. If you take a huge group of users and say oh there are other platforms you're going to diffuse all those users into nothing and although people can complain about twitter and the circle jerking and all the rest of it it does serve an important purpose i don't like the fact that journalists will have an entire article that is just fucking quotes from twitter that can fuck off but that's lazy journalism that's not twitter being a problem that's journalists being fucking lazy some some of them. So I think the attack on it is ridiculous.

It's ridiculous. It's fascinating, right? Because there was a thing recently where Elon had this, obviously this big court battle with Twitter, right? And he had to put all of his WhatsApp messages into part of the lawsuit. They were sequestered or whatever. And you could search them and look through what he was saying and this is one of the things that he was saying in those things with some he's basically got a series of

mates that are kind of like yes men yeah um on on whatsapp and various various various of his friends who are who are who are clearly looking for either a handout or a a job you know as the fucking cfo of some of one of you know his new ventures and you know they're full of like this kind of you yeah you know you put me in boss and i'll i'll really sort this get these guys out or i've got had a great idea for for for how to monet to monetize your, your Twitter once you get it, you know. And, and, and it's kind of like, you know, people are constantly pitching him stupid ideas and stuff. I mean, and he's talking to them as if they are his best mates and maybe they are, but it all just feels like it's like one, like he's planning on, on monetizing Twitter in a weird way that it's not the i think what was one of his suggestions was that you could pay to like send out a dm to everyone who is following you right so if you

were like a big if you were like pringles or whatever um you could pay i don't know whatever however much it is 100 quid to to dm all of your followers and so they'll get like a little dm with an advert from you stuff like that like oh you know all these little cool ideas where you could monetize the platform in ways that are more personal it's like a it's like oh you know they're personally getting in contact with me um yes i don't know how twitter is really i mean it's a i i think it's a really funny platform it's all based on who you follow and you know it's sort of like imagine if it was reddit which is essentially what it is it's like you know you can follow anybody it's all public and all the rest of it yeah but instead of just having categories you have specific users and you just follow them

that's all it is if twitter is annoying to you you're following the wrong people it's that simple unfollow the ones that are annoying you and follow the ones that you like and problem solved it's like picking up newspapers you have no interest in reading and being infuriated by the headlines stop reading them read something else else. Anyway, rant over. Apologies. Back to the bag. Back to the bag. So, yeah, £8 to be verified.

£8 to be verified. Or £20. Or £20. Yeah, laughable. Depending on how things go with the Stephen King negotiations. Whatever. I don't feel like the richest man in the world is a good person to set these arbitrary numbers. No, it's just stupid.

And it seems like he doesn't he might take your ass to mars one day so um get your ass to mars get your ass to mars i'm good i don't need to go i've seen the expanse this is an email from from henry saying that he was listening to our podcast uh when he was actually listening to Lewis's feature on the Comfort Zone podcast, whatever that is. I haven't heard of that one. Oh, yeah. And he crashed his car.

The car's a write-off. He's okay. He's wondering whether he's owed compensation. Henry, eight bucks, mate. We'll give you eight bucks. Make it 20. My name is John Grisham. I demand $20.

I hope you're okay I'll get Brian and Kirstie To chip in It's Brian and Kirstie's podcast of course But what How did the podcast cause him to crash It was incidental He was so comfortable Getting drowsy

And then they drove his car off a cliff. He just went over something wet. That's good though, we should put a warning on it. Yeah, do not listen to this podcast whilst driving, you may become too comfortable. This is so boring, it'll make you fall asleep. This is from Jay, who would like me to say this in my Australian accent. So apologies to any Australian listeners. I was thinking about weird things my dad

always said. One of them was, Ted, Ted fucked in the head every time someone with the name Ted was mentioned or was on TV. Another one was every time someone asked what we were eating for a meal, he said shit sandwich. Whenever he was asked what he was doing, he'd say, I'm mowing the lawn. What does it look like? And sitting around like a jar of

stale piss was another for someone being useless. I recently found out he got a lot of these from his father and now I find myself saying a few of them. And his question is, do we have any that we say? That's from Jay in Melbourne. Right. Do we have any sayings that have come from your family and now you find yourself saying them without really any thought? One that I was surprised came out of my mouth the other day was when I was dealing with my kids around bedtime. And one of them was trying to, like, say something had happened or whatever.

But, like, basically, you know, just taking the piss, you know, before bedtime. And I turned around and I said, you know what? I was born at night, but it wasn't last night. And my parents used to say that all the damn time. I can't believe I said it as well. That's funny. That must have been, it sounds like an old one, right? Like, I think their parents must have said it to them as well.

But that was a fairly common one. Because me and my brother were always kind of like, you know, doing the same. Yeah, trying to pull a fast one. Trying to pull a fast one. And my parents were always on to us sort of thing. Oh, that's funny. My mum always says, many a mickle makes a muckle. Whoa.

And I don't really know what that means. Well, it could mean anything. Yeah. Anything you need it to mean. It's like my kids will ask me a question sometimes and I'll just say, well a mickle makes a muckle and they'll be like what that's it it's just a way of saying i guess the context though i don't know what it is you might as well have just grunted i suppose yeah yeah many a muckle makes a muckle i don't know if it's a northern saying even it sounds northern well many a muckle makes a muckle that's what i always say

northern is write in and let us know if that is a Northern saying. Oh, man. I think I do do that. I just don't know what it is off the top of my head. And I'm sure it's unconscious too. But also, I just try and avoid saying, I don't know, like the same things. I don't know. I don't like those. If I was that guy, I think I'd get sick

of saying the same shitty little anachronistic things every day. Like, it is what it is. That's one. If I was that Australian dad, I'd be sick of saying that. It's just a lack of imagination.

Find a new way to say something. Just come up with a new one every time. Stretch your brain a little bit. I think rather than let that part of your brain become solidified and ossified with these sayings, flex it. Come up with something new. Yeah, there's some other like what's good for the goose the goose is good for the game for the goose what's good for the goose the 1969 film uh comedy slapstick comedy starring norman wisdom and sally greeson oh norman wisdom

what's good for the goose is good for the game that's what i like to say oh man yeah norman wisdom oh wait that wasn't norman wisdom that was george formby i think i always used to get george i used to get george formby and george foreman mixed up george foreman is a boxer george formby played the banjo or whatever george foreman was a boxer who now does grills he makes yes indeed he makes his own grills now instead named all his kids george as well that's what happens when you get hit in the head for a living. Yeah. All right, this is from Jakob from Scotland.

Said that, I was driving around delivering parcels for Big Jeff. That's Jeff Bezos. Just a normal rainy day in the dark kingdom of Scotland until I listened closely to what's being said on the radio and realized they're speaking about TI. No way. Yeah, on Radio 1. He says, the lack of knowledge

and pre-written script was hilarious. The highlight for me was, pro team Tundra Esports has just won the defence of the Ancients Action Video Game Tournament, which is a good way of putting it, I guess. But yeah, that's it. That's the whole story.

Thanks, Jacob. Nice. That's great that it's crossing into the mainstream. I'm glad, yeah. It's making headway, yeah. Not interesting. But the idea that... Tundra are, of course, based in London. great that it's crossing into the mainstream it's making the email itself not interesting but the the idea that uh tundra are of course based in london they're a uk-based uh esports org and

actually the owner is the son of the guy that owns afc bournemouth football team maxim demin and i met him at the after party and asked him if he knew my mate who's the accountant at the club and he said he did there you go it's a good life took a picture with him anyway this is from uh i'm not going to say the name yet i wanted to briefly talk about cpus right and some of the differences between them specifically intel chips now this is actually quite interesting i didn't know this and we i think we were talking about processors the other week i know we talk about the the most powerful processor in the world, the Pentium, quite often. Yes.

But this is about some different ones. Firstly, the new 12th and 13th generation Intel chips... All right, this bit's quite boring. Blah, blah, blah. Very blah, blah, blah. The difference in the number of cores and the naming convention boils down to the manufacturing process of the CPU die itself. In essence, Intel is striving to manufacture

all i9 chips or i9 rated chips, but because the manufacturing process is so delicate, the smallest flaw or imperfection will render some circuitry bad so they don't pass the i9 standard test. If that happens, the manufacturing process will intentionally reduce functionality of this particular CPU in a progressive manner until it passes the next benchmark of tensing, reducing cores and caches, etc. So you'd go from the i9, the i7, the i5, and the i3. So this is basically yield management, a big part of the semiconductor making process, a better way to get a useful part to turn it into an inferior product that you can still sell and make profit on rather than throwing it away and getting nothing.

I thought that was quite interesting. They aim for the very highest level processor they can. And if it doesn't quite get there, because they basically, it's, I mean, it's so, such a delicate process. They sort of grow these things in this vat of chemicals, don't they? It's almost impossibly skilled work and ridiculously close.

So if you don't quite get there, you can sell it as a slightly lesser processor. There's always going to be a market for slightly cheaper processors. So it makes sense. And if you can guess the name of the guy who emailed this in, it'd be pretty funny. His name is Bill Gates. Elon. No. Elon Gates.

Mr. Chips. It's Chip. His name is Chip. Chip. His name is Chip. Elon. No. Elon Gates. Mr. Chips. It's Chip. His name is Chip. His name is Chip. Chip. Chipperson. Chipperson McMicrochip. That's my name.

No one in the team's determinism at work there. Chippy McRam. Chip McCircuitboard. Steve Intel. Sounds like one of those virtual helpers. Hi i'm steve chip mcchipperson intel can i help you it looks like you're trying to fix your cpu uh this uh your sink has come loose due to your mother manhandling it grand handling it grand handling god yeah that's a that is that is it she's grand handling good god uh this is Sam, a teacher and biker based in Sheffield.

Right. And he's got a question for us. Would you guys say that having an audience slash fan base has affected your ego? Not that any of you seem egotistical, he goes on to add. No, I would say for me, no. Like every once in a while, I will get recognized by somebody who has watched me stream or listen to the podcast or whatever. And every time it happens to this day, I in my mind, I'm like, oh, shit. Yeah, maybe somebody would recognize me sort of thing.

Right. I go about my my normal day normally, like I always have, you know, like I don't I don't leave my house and think like I'm getting papped. And, you know, I don't feel, I don't leave my house and think like I'm getting papped and you know what I mean? Like I'm not, I don't, I don't feel like I have any ego about it whatsoever. Like I don't think about it at all. And it's not like, it hasn't really like affected my day-to-day life. I think because like, because of having a family and stuff like that, you know, like I just, I don't consider myself somebody who is noteworthy

in any way like uh until somebody comes up to me he's like oh hey you know i watched your stream and then you're like oh shit yeah that's really good and then two minutes later i've forgotten about it you know what i mean like it's it's nice though i think it's good i think it's good to be i think with me whenever someone meets me in the street i'm like instantly i'm like oh no i haven't done my hair i haven't dressed up i haven't worn anything i'm wearing shitty clothes i've just because every time i think i wish i i really ought to start making myself look nice just in case someone wants to take a picture with me but then i don't um yeah so every single time i make no effort i think but i think that shows a lack of ego

in all honesty because if you did give it you know you wanted to look uh your absolute best in all the pictures and be like i've got to look fabulous then i think you would care i think the fact that you see it is just another part of your daily life that might come up but don't plan specifically around it shows a lack of ego i think that's i do feel bad though i but then again like at the same time i'm like there's already a everyone's got terrible pictures of me so it's not gonna make any difference if there's one more i've lost any kind of yeah control over the i i finally enough when i started streaming more i started caring less because i i got to the point where i just figured i'm on screen for everybody to see for like eight hours a day.

And sometimes I forget I'm even streaming. So, like, I'll just be picking my nose or like, you know, I'll have like some food on the side of my mouth or like I'm picking my teeth. Sometimes I sneeze and it's a messy one in my hand and I forget that people can see me. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. And you just figure, well, they've seen all that. So, I got nothing else to see me you know what i mean like yeah yeah and you just figure well they've seen all that so i got nothing else to hide you know like they might as well just live in my house like you've you've seen all my bad habits you you know like you know what i'm like sort of thing so it's like whatever you can't really have much of an ego about it right like

here's a question how often do you guys fart when you're streaming alone? Oh. And how do you disguise it? Oh, I don't. I just, I let rip. Okay. I'm grateful for a big ripper as well, because the thing is, I sit down a lot. So, there is the- There's a buildup. Yeah, there's a big buildup sometimes, and it's a real big relief. So, if it's ripping and it's making noise, I'm pretty happy, actually. What I've found is that because I don't spend a huge amount of time out and about when I'm at

events I don't fart because I'm around other people I try not to you know I'm not one of those people yeah and then I'm so bloated and gassy when I finally get into privacy it's like someone's opened the end of a balloon it's just going yeah i'm like that after a flight because like flights are big ones you gotta hold them in i find like events and stuff like that now i just fart and if somebody even like calls me up on it i'll just say uh wasn't me like you should be lucky yeah or i'll just say yeah it was me sorry it stinks like what what can i do it has to get better out than in i i always say that to my wife i always say better out than in and uh she says for who but this is true um but um but yeah no i just i just go for it i find also now that i'm a bit older if i say like if i'm out at an event or something like that and like i drop something on the floor and i have to bend down to pick it up

i'm farting like it's i can't even help it you know like it's that's an old man sneaking out yeah i just i think it's just best just just if you feel it coming just just let it out i feel like holding it in is more dangerous because it can just cause either a bigger or louder one at a more unexpected time yeah yeah do you take about a million photos only to let them sit in your phone or get lost in your files? All the damn time. Yes. Me too. You know, we go out somewhere and my wife is like, hey, quick, take a picture of this.

And sometimes I'm just like, you know what? I'll do it. But we're never going to look at this again. We will forget that this exists. Well, don't worry, Sips, because I have been using the Aura frame. They sent me one. They sent one to you as well, P-Flex. They did.

And it is really, really cool. There's a little app, and you can put all of your photos on there. Right. And you can actually share it with family as well. So I shared it with a bunch of people in the office, and everyone put in pictures. And now we've got this little digital photo frame in the office, and it rotates really nice,olesome photos of uh all of the

yorks cast folks and it is super super nice let me tell you something i i i got mine we have uploaded so many photos to this thing it's ridiculous my kids when they have dinner now it's on the dining room sort of on the breakfast bar they sit and they'll look at it and they're like oh look i was like so little and all the holiday pictures and everything. They absolutely love it. And I get a notification every time a photo gets uploaded and it's quite sweet because I'll send Mrs. F a pizza on WhatsApp from like when I was in Singapore

and then I get the notification, she's put it on the aura frame. So I know that the kids are seeing it and it's just nice. Like all these holiday snaps, it reminds you of all these happy times that we've had i i absolutely love it this is a hand hand on heart 100 pflax recommendation i love it well there you go carry on so from now through black friday and cyber monday you can get 50 off uh the best selling frame by going to auraames.com slash triforce they are the lowest prices or frames a u r a frames.com

slash triforce get one now it's a great gift idea for christmas do it there you go christmas all right this one's from connor he's in the army american army by the looks of the picture uh let me just check yep looks like the Army. Also, your microphone isn't anywhere near your ass, so it doesn't tend to get picked up on the stream. No, I mean, that's the thing. But if you have thunderous farts, it'll pick it up in the background. It'll pick it up. Yeah, it'll pick it up. Oh, yeah.

I don't think I really have. Again, that's more likely to happen if you're saving them up, though, as well. Yeah. Have you ever had a fart that just goes on for a really long time but yeah it feels great and you're just like holy crap i didn't know my body could do this like it just you almost don't want to move yeah it's going and going and going and you're still farting and you can already start to smell the stink like oh man that's amazing i love god that that is a rare a rare special one moving on this is connor i'm in

the army have been for a long time started as a medic and now is a parachute rigger i enjoy listening to y'all when able to lay out parachutes to pack the next day after everyone's gone home jumping from planes is a good job mate cutting to the chase you'd love to hear if us if us three had to be in the military uh and we have to be in it, right? We've got to pick our jobs. What job would we want in the military? It could be any branch, any job. I would want to be a drone operator stateside.

Stateside drone operator. A remote drone operator, and I get to sit in an office in like, I don't know. Fort Bragg or something. Pennsylvania, where it's nice and safe and air conditioned, ideally, with access to some sort of cafeteria and good Wi-Fi for my gaming. You have a high scoreboard there where you mark off your kills on a board, I'm sure is a thing they do. I think that's got to be the best military the uh military job now i reckon that's probably the safest uh i'd say morally it

might be the one that would cause you the most stress later it's the most interesting like safest and most interesting because like don't get me wrong if you're like a cook or something like that's probably pretty safe depending where you are having said that though i wouldn't want to be a cook on a ship on a warship i wouldn't want to be uh like a cook in a field kitchen like on the front or something like that you know like those could be dangerous like what if your ship is not on the front they don't they don't ship it up to the front no no the kitchen is at the back they gotta be in the rear they gotta be they gotta be close to the shit like a little bit right like i guess those guys to eat too.

Yeah, that's true. I think drone operator is a very good shout. I've always wanted to be a submarine captain, even though I hate submarines. I played a lot of U-Boat. Too much responsibility. Yeah, but it would be great. During non-war time as well, way too much formality as well, right? Like you're like King Charles is like coming to visit your sub sometimes and stuff like that you you're like king charles is like coming to to visit your sub sometimes and stuff like that if you're a lovely submarine lovely submarine where do the torpedoes

come out at the end yeah where do you keep the corgis where do the corgis the submarine corgis it must be it must be in charge of corgi somewhere. Perhaps if one is looking for a job, is there an opening in the Corgi department? It's too much responsibility. Too much responsibility. Yeah. I think like being an admiral, like a fleet admiral or whatever,

like, you know, like you've got to rub shoulders with some real knobs. Like there's no- Also, I am claustrophobic. Everything's so tight in that submarine. It'd be like, it'd be like the problem with your sink compounded in everything everything is squeezed right now i think about it you're all

right what if you're in a daz boot situation as well and everybody down there is just sweating profusely it's getting hot you can hear the whole is creaking oh my god no yeah you're right what was i thinking yeah all right uh i'd like to be one of the lads that sits in the nuclear silo and has to turn the key at the same time as the other lad and then you push the button. Yeah. Right. And so, that's quite a lonely job as well. What about you've got that other lad? What about

the guy in Catch-22? It's not Major Major. It's the you know the guy that sets up the cooperative? He's like the logistics like provisioning guy? That would be pretty good too, right? Because then you're really quite far away from the shit. You're just, like, managing, you know, supplies and supply chains and all that kind of stuff.

What about being a sniper? Nah. Too rough? Yeah, I don't know. I think it's just, like, you go crazy out there. You're on your own, you know? No, you've got your mate. They're in pairs. You've got to piss in a jug most of the time. I think it's just like, you go crazy out there. You're on your own, you know? No, you've got your mate.

They're in pairs. You got to piss in a jug most of the time. that's true. You probably just got to poo and just like, you got to poo in a jug. You can't, no, you can't because you'll get like the hunter tracker force of the enemy team

will, will find your poo and be able to see how old your poo is. The last thing you ate. They use all this information to triangulate where you are or where you could be. Right. And they'll probably find your ass. That's a good point. No,

they'll definitely find your ass if you leave a poo behind. Yeah. So I would say no to sniper as well. All right. All right. Well, I'm out of ideas then. Drone it is.

I don't know. Like, I think there's a lot of interesting jobs interesting jobs i mean driver is a classic you know that can be dangerous like dangerous i'd say very dangerous well but then again not if you're not driving the tanks if you're just no no they go after logistics all the time that stuff yeah because that's i was reading just this morning about this artillery piece they've sent over to Ukraine to help them defeat the dastardly forces of Putin's army. It's the M777 artillery piece, this thing can fire like 25 miles and land the shell with an accuracy of within 16 fucking feet. Yeah. And that it's like a GPS guided guided shell so it's got a little fin stabilizing it

can adjust itself slightly and just fucking land exactly where you want to put it most of the people getting killed in war for a long time now it's been artillery you're very low risk of actually being shot much more likely just to be blown up so if you're a drone operator in pennsylvania you ain't getting fucking shot or i don't know i got some bombs i got big ass man titties like uh if 16 feet like that's a that's a hundred percent hit on me they target me do you know what the the u.s army this year they recruit about 60 000 people every year to replace the people who are leaving the army they don't not you know they don't lose that many troops every year people just leave turnover yeah of course but the requirements to be in the US Army

are you have to be of certain fitness. And you have to be prepared to be all that you can be. You have to be prepared to be all that you can be. You can't have a criminal record, which is a big problem because you get a criminal record very easily in the States. Yeah, and three strikes, you're out as well. Yeah, a lot of people have been to prison in the States.

It's a huge prison population, right? Yeah, yeah. And you have to have a high school education and be able to pass the intelligence test to get in. And of all the people out there that they're trying to recruit, all the people of the correct age, only 23% of them are currently actually viable candidates to join the armed forces. And of those, an awful lot of them have no interest in joining the military. A lot of young people nowadays you know they're not seeing it as like this great thing they're seeing it as this deeply politicized thing which in many ways it is uh because you might be going off to fight a war

that you don't support and whilst a lot of people will say well i'm doing it for the good of my country i've always thought i wouldn't want to do it because what if we went to war with a country where i was like why the what's the why the fuck are we at war with these guys this is ridiculous yeah but you have to do it you don't get to make that choice yeah anyway yeah this is uh an email from a lad uh this is interesting you were talking this is very funny a little dark but very funny you were talking about changing names last podcast episode i don't know when this was but yes, I was born on the day the Twin Towers fell right and I was coincidentally named Osama Right, Mike you look Joe seriously. He has sent me a picture of his birth certificate Believe it or not as proof. I mean as far as I can tell it is a fairly common name

It's not like well, I'm sure it was yeah, maybe I guess probably not so much now Yeah Because it would be kind of tricky. His family changed his name. Parents changed his name to Tariq three months later because they didn't want him to be bullied. No, yeah, understandable. Or be able to think he was named after him because, of course, that would be fair enough. You know, so his family still calls him Osama or Sam for short to this day. I have evidence if you don't believe me.

I believe you, Tariq. I believe you. And there it is. There indeed is his birth certificate um you think uh do you think that um when uh when jeffrey dahmer was caught that there was just like a big down tick in baby's name jeffrey at the time and similarly like people like you change got name changes quickly and stuff like that it's like that seinfeld with the uh what was the name of the guy she's dating um god what was it they go to a baseball game and they make an announcement over the tannoy for

this guy and it happens to be the name of a fictional serial killer in the show and elaine convinces him to change his name and they fall out over yeah that's really early seinfeld that's like season two i think yeah i think i think it might be a little bit later because i watched it the other day it might be season four or even five. Because it's around the time of the episode where George converts to Latvian Orthodox because he fancies a woman. That's early on too. But Elaine still has a roommate when that happens.

But she's just not. You remember Elaine's roommate that's always chewing gum early on? Yeah. She still has that roommate with the serial killer guy. I'm pretty sure. All right. I'm going to check. It was... Interesting.

It was... Season five. I know, guys. Was it actually season five? Holy shit. This stuff does happen, even today, like with the Russian-Ukraine war going on. I've noticed a couple of people have changed their names from Russian names to more Americanized names. But like Chip. Or completely Americanized names. But like Chip.

Or completely Americanized names. Chip. Yeah. Chip. So, I don't know whether that's to do with what's going on or not. Probably not, actually. It might just be coincidence. But I do notice it happen.

And I think it's, you know, something which people do try and fit in still with their, the culture that they're, you know, moving to or intend to be part of, to try and, as a part of a way to fit in and leave their past behind, but also just to make their lives easier, you know, not be judged as either a refugee or a foreigner, because there's still a lot of racism and xenophobia out there. Oh, hell yeah. Immigrants and stuff. That's one, that's the one. Have a quiet, ordinary ordinary life you just don't need to deal with this shit and people aren't that attached to these names i know some people

are like oh god my name is meaningful and people gave it to me and blah blah blah but fucking who cares like you don't it doesn't need to you know if you're going to be bothered if it's going to bother you every day like change don't fucking don't change you don't have to put up with it you really don't what bothers you about. Don't have to put up with it. You really don't. What bothers you about this podcast, Sips? Well, it's my one big regret that we- of all the things that we've solved and we've helped people with, racism and xenophobia is the one- it's like our white whale.

It's on the list. It's elusive. We just can't- We're yet to solve- We can't figure it out. We haven't cracked the code just yet folks we're working on it

we're working on it every day we're working overtime we're working for the weekend you better believe it like we're not taking any breaks we're

we are not we're getting there it's full bore we're going you mentioned Jeffrey Dahmer didn't you I did sadly

yeah I did not want to mention him the very next email happens to be about Jeffrey Dahmer believe it or not Jesus before him the very next email happens to be about jeffrey dharma believe it or not jesus can we before we do this we'll have to be the last email realistically but before we do it why well 44 minutes okay sorry maybe there's time for a few more i just wanted to give you guys a quick update on my health i had my biopsy result back and it was all clear

there's there was no malignancy in inside my prostate which is nice news but the bad news is still got to get a camera down my dick oh next week yeah well we've had an email about that as well nice from a lad who's had it done if you want to hear right yeah yeah i'd be very interested to hear yeah all right let's let's do the dharma one first okay uh i'm joe did i ever tell you guys about my idea for a sitcom actually i'll just skip this one dommer and greg like uh it can be like a reboot of uh but like instead of dharma dommer uh comes back to life and moves in with greg and is constantly trying to uh to fuck him like uh but greg is like unaware what's going on sort of thing i don't know i should think it

could work it's maybe poor taste i'm sorry yeah maybe the name the name is what did it for me sorry anyway that's all right this is from uh jimmy uh just wanted to email into ease ease sips his worry about the camera down the johnson he's gonna have right i had this done when i was 20 years old. He's now 24. So he obviously made it. And when I describe it, it will sound like one of the worst experiences ever. Okay, hold on. Okay. The camera was like a really long fire lighter. Yeah.

And the anesthetic they used barely worked. It just acted like lube. Oh. They have the camera feed on show and they invite you to watch as if you know exactly what was going on. Right. It looked like a fleshy version of the intro to Doctor Who. as if you know exactly what was going on right it looked like a fleshy version of and you're just like grinding your hips oh god I'm glad you guys can laugh about this well it's alright

let Jimmy ease your concerns let Jimmy ease your concerns it was quite uncomfortable at the time and I came out walking like Liam Gallagher but it barely lasted longer than two minutes and there's barely any trauma to the downstairs region by the end of the day you'll forget you even did it unfortunately as i'm a listener of the triforce i have a tiny penis so maybe your experience will be even less painful than mine very good very good you've got to get

the extra long camera to uh to really fully get into uh good good one jimmy yeah enjoyed that navigate my very funny uh so in regards to the d one, this was Joe, just wanted to know if we felt that all these shows about serial killers, sometimes they happen very recently and the families of the victims are very much still alive and in some cases the court proceedings are still ongoing. Yes. And do we think, what do we think about the morality of that? I think society, Western society especially is obsessed with true crime and serial killers and

and all this stuff right like there's a big market for it so it's never going to go away because it it gets ratings morally um it it's a tough one because for all the people who like to watch it obviously there's people affected by these things still, who are still alive, who are traumatized for life. They've lost loved ones. They themselves have been a victim to it and stuff. And it's hard. It's a hard pill to swallow for sure, right? That, you know, some people are consuming this as entertainment almost at their expense.

Or not even almost, definitely at their expense. Yeah. And it's just a tough one i mean i don't they're never gonna stop making the documentaries i prefer it to be done as a documentary factual documentary rather than a dramatized version of events the dramatized version of events i don't tend to like um because it's just it just seems like kind of like poor taste right yeah like a factual documentary that is well produced i i would i would watch to to gain some knowledge and understanding and try to develop some empathy for like the the the victims and stuff you know not

that it would help them much but you know what i mean like yeah i think morally that's that that that's a better form of of media surrounding it i wonder if you're obsessed with it because we feel in in the west that we have a very safe life yeah i think most people would agree that we have like all these institutions and systems and we work and have worked very hard over the centuries to to improve our crime solvingsolving techniques and how we catch people and making people safer and everything. So in a way, it's a way of dipping out of that safety bubble into a world where you might get chopped up and eaten. And it's the same as being scared, riding a roller coaster or watching a scary movie

because you're moving outside your comfortable western life where you basically have all the human needs that you could imagine met yeah for most people yeah and then you're suddenly being like oh imagine if jeffrey darmer ate you it's it's it's just so much worse than that with darmer though like if you if if you read about the the things that he was doing to people and stuff it is it it's so horrific that it's not worth recounting and i'm surprised i'm surprised that they did uh dramatize it and and in some ways at the same time we are constantly exposed to this in fiction and then it's worse and worse and worse everyone loves watching these horror films where yeah multiple people are

horribly murdered and chopped up in incredibly gory ways and everyone's watching some dramatic film about some child abuser or something terrible going on and and i think when it's a real thing that happens suddenly it adds this note of extra even more excitement into it it's just a natural evolution though in a sense of people's what people want right like people are interested in this horrible stuff and and always have been and since ever you know sherlock holmes and agatha christie people getting popped off murdered and adorable doing horrible things to each other poisoning each other and and yeah i mean obviously like it is weird because he was real

and i think that that's just more titillating right for some for some in some ways for for people i think people don't quite realize that he was real though in a sense like and especially when i i do think that netflix has become murder porn but it's always been that and is that really bad like most people do even though they enjoy watching these murder things that doesn't mean they're going to go out and do a murder it doesn't mean that they are taking these people as role models i don't think anyone i think actually i think it is bad but i i probably still will watch some most most of it depending on you know what what like depending on the the subject matter right like i like i am interested in in documentaries around you know true crime and stuff like that for sure like like a lot of for me the interest is

like the reason i liked mind hunter the drama show mind hunter which was amazing i think it was david fincher brilliant was it was more focusing on how they caught these people. And I love seeing the change in systems and the change in approaches and the sort of inventiveness. And it's always just in any of these large institutions and systems, if there's a change, institutions are very slow to change their approach. It's always a few brilliant individuals who come up and say, this is how we can solve this. This is how we can fix it. And I think that's really fascinating. That's the side of it I find more interesting.

Yeah. I think so. I like- Yeah. I think that's maybe, maybe it does stem from that. I like the crown for that as well. You just saw like a gradual evolution of the way that institution operates right like based on key sort of milestones throughout especially throughout you know because the focus is on the queen's reign you know there is definitely this idea of the anti-hero obviously for a long long time we've had the asshole anti-hero right where it's with a heart of gold right that's this such a trope in everything that you know every everyone's favorite character and everything is that dick

who is actually a good guy when it really matters or whatever like wolverine um grumpy unpleasant bastard like uh like john mcclain in die hard like yeah i guess everyone in everything like yeah like like well keanu reeves wasn't an arsehole in The Matrix. Yeah, he was. No, I suppose. Spider-Man wasn't an arsehole in The Spider-Man. He was a different kind of arsehole. Spider-Man's a bit of an arsehole as well, right?

How's Spider-Man an arsehole? Not like- he's not like a rude, like, belligerent arsehole. He's just kind of like a wet arsehole, you know? I think that it's obviously mainstream stuff and that's not necessarily the case, but I think certainly on the edgier things, we've definitely got

more anti-heroes and I think that the danger of making Dharma into some sort of, you know, like heroic figure. No, I don't know if it, I don't know if it goes that far.

I haven't seen it and like, you know, apparently. Well, there's loads of them though. It's not just, this is the thing. It's not just one show. I feel like Netflix has just become the Dharma Station.

It feels like. Well, they felt like the... What was the one that we watched? Or maybe, I don't know if Flax watched it, the Night Stalker, Nightcrawler one. Yeah. Yeah, we talked about this. That was really funny.

We watched it around the same kind of time. That's. We talked about this actually because I think we were watching around the same kind of time. We talked about this before. I think this is just, again, the next that was Richard Ramirez, wasn't it? That was just a bit. They kind of glorified it a bit, kind of reveled in some of the details. A little bit too much. What's going on here?

I'll tell you what I watched yesterday that I quite liked was, well, I didn't like it, but Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities, right? Basically, he kind of waddles in at the start and says, oh, so it's a strange place with the world, isn't it? It is a strange place, the world. I want to make a name. the world isn't it it is a strange place and so the first so obviously the update

it's a sort of um horror anthology where it's like eight episodes and each one is slightly different and uh the first couple were pretty ropey i think they just basically get worse and worse as they go through god but um i don't know they held my attention decently at least the autopsy one did and it was super gross super gruesome um but and quite creepy but obviously because it was

sort of halloween this week i felt like i wanted to watch something and there were a few things that were recommended on various things and i was like this is the one i ended up watching and i thought it was okay so yeah like i like short stories because then i feel like short stories are a great medium for i want that yeah another i want some more buster scruggs like 12 episodes of the same story it tends to be dragged out way too thin you know and i think that they can giving them 45 minutes to get their thing done is like usually they're on a timer exactly they don't have too much time for wank and well i'll tell you what's a good show if you haven't seen it and or i'm absolutely fucking loving it everybody's saying it's great it's so good yeah i do hear that

and or is worth watching you haven't watched it yeah i haven't watched it i haven't watched the lord of the rings one i haven't watched the game of thrones one i was boring i haven't watched um any of the marvel stuff man i haven't watched i did watch malice at the palace though which is kind of that was good i think you should stop watching basketball bachelor whatever and give a go of some of these shows there's some really really great tv out i know i i kind of like uh i like to like offset watching sort of like, you know, documentaries with just some trashy reality TV, you know, like. Just watch some good drama.

I'm just saying, give it a go. I know. And get back to it. It's hard. Some of this stuff we can get into. Like we watched Severance and we loved it. Like we watched that. Better Call Saul.

We watched the most recent season. We watched it all like quickly it's really good but uh we're a bit picky you know like i don't know getting more so as well like if we're just so fucking saturated with stuff to watch now right there's we've never had so much stuff to watch and there's never been less to watch in some ways oh i don't know if that's true i don't know i'm flicking through stuff and it's just like yeah that probably is good but i don't feel like watching it i don't want to watch this i don't want to watch that my wife's getting all mad at me because i was just like flicking through yeah i think that's you i think that's a you thing i guess

so yeah i don't know i just like get exhausted by like all this stuff to watch yeah but it's probably just a b thing i don't know maybe it's. Maybe it's because I got the camera and my dick thing coming up. Maybe. A little worried. I could have added a little. All right. Let's finish on a complaint email. All right.

Because I love these. Oh, brilliant. Do the voice. I work as a medical device distributor across Pennsylvania, New York City, and New Jersey. This means I have a lot of driving to do so I figured I'd re-listen to the entire Triforce catalogue. I've hit episode 126 but there has been one thing that has slightly annoyed me. There are two stories, the bath plug story and the spy house. The inconsistency that annoyed me is that you all reference these as stories that have

been spoken about millions of times as Triforce does have a history of speaking about things before on the update of the spy house where we find out it has been abandoned for a while period mentions for long time triforce listeners i have an update on the spy house however there was only one mention in passing of the spy house before this the bath plug story was only mentioned the one time that sips told it however from that point on you all mention it as if it's been told hundreds of times it's just a funny inconsistency no no honestly it's such a boring love you guys story that it probably feels like you've heard it a million times well i think also the thing is sometimes i do this i talk to people about stuff in the office or on streams or without with with with my parents or something like do you know i mean and then by the time i'm telling you guys about it i assume

i've already told it before you know and you used to talk about spy house on your stream all the time that's the thing i think because i spoke about it on stream i carried that into i must have spoken about this before on the podcast but obviously according to this chap i've only spoken about it once so apologies that gives us carte blanche then in that case to talk about those two things again which we are going not to do now indeed we'll save it for another time another time another place a little treat for you that's reassuring that we're not as senile as we thought. Yeah. Good news. Well, no, I think that's even worse.

What? We thought we'd spoken about something a bunch and we hadn't. We mentioned it once. Well, it's good to be careful, though. That's true. It's good to be careful. We're just careful podcasters. What can we say?

I went into your stream the other day, P-Flex, and there's like a load of clips and one of them made me laugh so much it's like what was it i think it was like old bumbling fool old old cunt yeah fucks up this idiot that does an idiot move or something it was like a string of like insults that's my viewers i like that and i mean there's a list of commands it's it's exclamation mark senile followed by a number i think we're up to 26 or 27 they're unbelievable they're unbelievable huge doing very you ever get those moments where you do something really dumb but then you blame chat for it like you try to reverse it on them like every time in a big power move i love that that's my i think that's your instinct to instantly try and turn the blame away

from you yeah yeah i'm sure yeah when your gran gran handled your your sink she was blaming something else um and not her own turning it the wrong way or whatever it's not my cack hands it's the movie body parts hand transplant convicted murderer I don't have control over these things convicted sink breaker

a really bad plumber that's whose hand it was lads let's wrap it up we better take the cat to the vet. All right. Well, good luck. Enjoy the rest of your time. Peace on Earth

to all the rest of you and see you next time. Bye. Farewell. Bye. Bye.