Triforce! - YoGPoD 2: Sipsgate

Episode Date: February 19, 2009

Sips, a Canadian man who lives on an island in the English Channel, gets phoned up by two idiots that he knows from an internet game. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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but Canada is way more. It's poutine mixed with kimchi, maple syrup on Halo Halo, Montreal-style bagels eaten in Brandon, Manitoba. Here, we take the best from one side of the world and mix it with the other. And you can Yolk Pog Welcome to Yogpod

This week it's the infamous tips gate where Zethos and Honeydew ring up someone they've only ever talked to on the internet You're listening to the Yogpod Hi, how are you doing? You're listening to The Yog Pod. Hi, how are you doing? Hello. I'm very well, thank you.

I'm just calling to say that I love your radio show. I think you two do a very good job. You're very funny. And I like listening to you on my way to work on my ipod thanks man it's good to hear from you know a listener to the show so is there anyone you'd like to you know shout out to or anything like that while we're here i'd like to do a shout out to my homie yo emitsu from the... Is that possible to do? Yep, we'll get that right out for you, mate. Thanks for calling in.

Well... Good. Are you recording this on vent? I might be. Oh, right. So you actually have the capacity to do this? Possibly. This is amazing.

We're through the looking glass here. This is great. How's it going? It's alright It's alright It's alright mate It's alright I just sat here on the phone I finished my cup of coffee

I've eaten Seven Jaffa Cakes. Seven? I have five left. Because you get twelve in a pack. So I was able to, you know, through a process of elimination, because I have five left, I was able to determine that I have actually eaten seven. Out of interest, how do you know that there's like twelve in a pack? Because there's always

twelve in a pack. Are you talking about a tube of Jaffa Cakes? Yes. How do you know there's twelve though without getting them all out to begin with?

There's always twelve in a pack. Since time immemorial when the first Jaffa Cake crawled out of the sea and took its first steps on land. Its first orangey

chocolatey step. Yes. Into someone orangey-chocolatey step. Yes. Into someone's mouth. Whereupon it was packaged into a thin plastic see-through cylinder of orange tone. It's not see-through. It's opaque.

It is. It's like see-through. I've got like a Jaffa Cake tube here. I'm not talking about the cardboard tube I'm talking about the plastic That the Jaffa Cakes go in Before the plastic with the Jaffa Cake thing Goes into the cardboard box Okay

Just so that there's no confusion over this I just wanted to be absolutely clear Twelve Like the apostles. Does it say twelve on it, or did you have to count them at some point, and then you remembered the number? Well, I can look at twelve of an object and tell that there's twelve. So do you get them all out of the tube, and then put them all back in?

It's invisible by so many things, but you look at it and you see twelve. Oh, so like one time you ate like six, and then you ate another six, so then you knew there was 12 in there. Yes, there's 12. There's always 12. 12's a good number. How many V&S are there in a packet of V&S?

Oh, I'm not even sure. I haven't had any in ages. How many Jammy Dodgers are there in a packet of Jammy Dodgers? I don't know. I'm very familiar with Jaffa Cakes because they've been on offer at the co-op so I have

I have been I mean typically I've been having like a salad for dinner and then Jaffa Cakes so I think the one

balances the other what for like dessert It's a nice salad actually Warm chicken With apple On a massive amount Of lettuce Sounds very healthy

Well yeah I mean it is healthy Until you factor in The Jaffa cakes After And then it's Not quite so good Also the

Ginster slices That I bought Because they were On offer at the Carp as well Probably Isn't so Oh my god Ginster's Slices that I bought because they were on offer at the Co-op as well Probably isn't so Oh my god Ginster's Slices

Jesus I mean that's the equivalent of like A pie So you basically have a salad and then a pie And then a half a pack of Jaffa Cakes They're like a pie that someone sat on Essentially aren't they Aethartics why are you on the phone Honeydew that someone sat on essentially, aren't they? Eighth asks, why are you on the phone,

Honeydew? Yeah, I'm a great fan of the orchestra and I... Shouldn't I put on a different voice so it sounds like someone else is doing it

or do I just sound like someone else? Sound like... Put on your best proletariat accent you can. Hello. Me. Me swan.

Me very happy with your cast. Me think very nice. How's that? I don't know whether it was more of the problem of being racist or just the awful accent.

You sounded like Ting Tong from Little Britain it may it may come across as slightly racist that's my worry yeah

I don't I think we we do need to be a little bit careful I think I think we not only crossed the line we crossed the line

and then shouted can we have you back on Ventrilo now? Because, to be honest, this is getting a bit ridiculous. Yeah, let's wrap this up. Thank you for letting me on the show. Yeah, it was good to talk to you. Thanks. You're welcome, man.

Say hi to Simon for me. Who? Simon, Honeydew. Oh, yeah, I'll tell him you said hi. Who are you again? Okay. I'm Simon. Oh, okay.

You'll know who I am. All right. Good. Okay, bye then. Bye. Bye. Also, why am I talking to Honey hand you when he can't hear us we can

hello I'm not sure whether that was usable it was rather amusing I mean it's good that fans can actually contact the Oggscast that sounds like it'd be more of a curse than a blessing do you really want your YouTube fanbase calling you in contact the Oggscast. That sounds like it'd be more of a curse than a blessing.

Do you really want your YouTube fanbase calling you in at the second hour of the day? Tell you how much they love the show. They'd have to call your personal mobile phone number as well, which they can contact any time. Oh dear.

Well... I mean, can you imagine, you're in like an important news conference with the guy who does the Periodic Table of Elements videos on YouTube, the guy with the mad hair. Oh yeah, I'm actually meeting him. And you're about to ask him like this really well prepared question which you think will reveal the secrets of the periodic table of elements and just as you're about to ask it

your phone rings and it's Yoemitsu who wants to say hi to you and he phones up and he goes hi like that so loud and just like that you miss out on an all-bell prize, and your career's in ruins.

And, yeah. It's all because of your emits. You're listening to the Yolk Pod. Hello. I don't know, I was just checking to see the quality of that audio. Pretty crap. Yeah, I thought it would be a bit. So is it on the cutting room floor then? No!

Mmm... I don't know whether we can salvage much out of that conversation. It was a bit random. Well, yeah, I mean, you just threw questions at me, and I just horribly rambled. I'll tell you what I could do. I could ring Sips. Dammit! Nobody wants to hear from Sips. Make sure you tell him that you're recording this let's not answer him all litigation might be involved

it is 11.04 he's probably in bed if I wake him up that'll be quite funny. Hello? Hey Sips, it's Zephos. How are you doing? Oh, hey. You're live on Yog's cast. Don't swear. How's it going?

You're live on Yog's cast. Please don't say. Um, how's it going? You're live on your cast. Please don't say fuck or bugger. We haven't woken you up, have we? No. I know it's quite late, and you're supposed to be going to bed, I think. Yeah. And I was just calling to say, you know, hi. How's it going?

Hi. You're our web designer. Yeah? This is so fucking awkward. This is the most awkward thing ever. Yeah, this is great. Um, yeah, so you're on speaker. Cut your losses, cut your losses.

Hang up on him. Okay, I'm going. Bye, Zips, bye. Oh, God, that was horrible. Nice handling examples. Poor Zips. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He caught him off guard. He didn't like it. He didn't like it. Don't say anything to that conversation apart from you pissing yourself with laughter.

I didn't have any, um... I didn't have any questions prepared. I'm having material beforehand. And Yogi cracking up just made me fuck up, big style. That's it. Your career is in tatters. Oh, man. You should have warned him. You should have warned him. You should have, like, texted him and said,

I'm going to call you. Oh. Let's call him back. Let's call him back. No! God, no! Why not? This is gold.

This is harassment. It's not 12 minutes past gold. This is harassment. This is harassment. He'll put like a restraining order against you. He's not answering, how is he? He's not answering, how did you...? It's... Oh... Oh no... Oh my god...

I think this is basically the end of your friendship with Sips. It's just over. He's gonna, like, block your number. I assume that's possible to do, I don't know. If you phone him again, right, you should ask that question from, like, 4chan and, um, GBS. You know, how come we haven't had sex yet? Just say that as the first thing you say to him.

How come we haven't had sex yet? Let's try him again. Oh, my god! Yeah this is pretty... It's not answering, how's you? Hi Sips, how's it going? Good How come we haven't had sex yet?

Ask him, ask him Well, there's a couple of reasons Right But Why do you keep phoning me? That's kind of weird What do you mean it's not weird? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Why do you keep phoning me? It's kind of weird. What do you mean it's not weird?

I don't think it's weird at all. It is pretty weird. It's what? You're my friend. I'm calling you. I know, but like, you know. I can just talk to you like in a computer game. You don't need to phone me. Do you regret giving me your number now?

Yeah. How much? Yeah. A lot. Like, on a scale of 1 to 10, how much? I don't know. Which one is worth the most? If you had to give it some stars out of 15 stars.

I don't know. Apologise and hang up. Apologise and hang up. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm hanging up. Oh, there we are. I cannot believe you did that.

I hope this is decent quality to you. We're making it worse. We're making it worse. Let's try again. Don't call him! Do not call him! Do not fucking call him! He is really angry. Do not call him! He is really angry. Seriously! Don't call him!

I'm going to apologise. I'm going to apologise. Don't call him! Don't call him! I'm gonna apologise. Don't call him! Don't call him! Okay, do it, Seth, let's do it! Seth, don't call him. Please. Do not call him. Please, please do not call him. I'm calling you anyway, I'm just gonna apologise. No! No! He's not answering now! Oh my god. This is like the Jonathan Ross, Russell Brand thing all over again. At least you didn't say that you fucked his wife or something.

Instead you just asked him why you haven't had sex yet. Oh, that is... that was so awkward. Oh my god. Oh my god. I can't believe you did that. I can't believe you called him up again. I guess we kinda crossed a line here. The thing is, there's a slight difference between talking to someone on the phone and talking to them on Ventrilo, isn't there? Yeah. Phone is like IRL for Trilo's game. Make sure you've saved this, okay? Because I don't want you to lose this after you've gone through this and you've basically ruined Sips' life.

I don't think I've ruined Sips' life. I've just rung him up a few times at like half past eleven. He's never going to trust anyone ever again. Yeah. Can you imagine a conversation he's having with his wife right now? Now, who's's that darling? No. Oh, it's just some guy from the internet. Do you reckon she thinks he's having an affair or something?

Well, I don't know how loud Sips has his volume, but I mean, if she heard you say, why haven't we had sex yet, she might be a little bit suspicious. Oh, goodness me. Maybe if I... Can you imagine if I was on speaker? To her house. His house. I don't know if he lives in the house. Thing is, Sips only gave me his phone number because I was supposed to like to use it to like text him if there were problems with the website or something. It's like an emergency number.

It's like, do not ever call me. Just text me. Yeah. Don't call. It took a lot of effort to get his number. I had to, like, carefully ask him. Oh, who else's number have I got on here?

I've got someone else, actually. Hang on. Who else's numbers have I got on here? I've got someone else, actually. Hang on. You're listening to the Yolk Pod. Oh, God. You fucking bastards. Lewis? Lewis?

Oh shit. Lewis? I'm raging! You alright man? We felt bad for like, ringing you up, you know, unsolicited, and so we had to like, ring back and try and make it up, but

you alright man? I didn't wanna like, disturb you, I thought you might have gone to bed. Yeah, it is kind of weird, but... I think I'm okay with it now. We've got over the initial shock of, uh... I don't feel so dirty anymore.

I mean, at the time. Jeez. We've got a surprise caller on the Yorkscast. Uh... Hang on. Jeez. We've got a surprise caller on the Yolks cast. Uh... Hang on. Oh, God. Don't phone me again.

I'm not gonna phone you since it's fine. If my phone starts ringing, honestly... Uh... Oh, shit, no. Tension. The tension I'm building as I retardedly type these numbers into my phone is powerful.

Guess who this is going to be, guys. Do you want to have a guess? Have a guess. Go on. It's going to be Beska. It's got to be Beska. I'm mad, yeah. It's not going to be Beska, is's got to be Beska. I'm out of here. It's not going to be Beska, is it?

I don't even know Beska's number. Sips, do you have Beska's number? Doesn't everyone have Beska's phone number? We should call Beska. Hello? Hello? You're live on the Oxcast, don't swear. How's it going?

It's pretty good. Why are you calling me on the Yogscast at 20 to midnight? Hey, it's Pearson everyone It's Pearson What? Can you not hear him very well? No, I can't hear him at all Okay, well, no, you can't hear them, can you? I'm calling you on my mobile, I'm just broadcasting at an event

How's it going, Pearson? Hey guys, I'm pretty good. You moved server, didn't you, for the mount and the title? Yes, I travelled across deep oceans and vast caverns to reach Terokkar. So we're going to do a Yogscast about that when you come back, probably, and that'll be good. Yeah, okay, fair enough. How's it going, Pearson? I'm terrible.

Well, no, just in general. In general it's going pretty good, except these guys just keep calling me up to be on their stupid internet webcast thing. Who else has called you up? It's you, I'm talking about you. Your phone appeared to be busted before. Is that

like a common... Do you get many people ringing you up, usually? No, no. No. Well, here we go. This is where it gets awkward. Yeah, hey, you know me from the internet. So...

Okay. Right, well, there we me from the internet. Uh, so... Okay. Right, well, there we are. Thanks, Pearson. I don't think I can... I can take... No problem. Oh, God, I should help with your thing. You're welcome.

Just a test. Okay. Bye, Pearson. Bye. Bye. That was cool, man. That was cool. There was nothing wrong with that at all.

Yeah, that was really cool was nothing wrong with that at all yeah that was really cool did you enjoy that I loved it I can't I just can't believe it I'm just kidding that's all for the Yoggpod tune in next week

mwah