Triforce! - YoGPoD 22: Thai Fish in a Bag

Episode Date: November 12, 2009

A Katy Perry cover, Hannah shows us how to cook to get laid, and we go through some of your terrible e-mails. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

pickaxe FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling winning which beats even the 27th best feeling saying I do who wants this last parachute? I do

enjoy the number one feeling winning in an exciting live dealer studio exclusively on FanDuel Casino where winning is undefeated. 19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca.

Please play responsibly. You're listening to two guys you don't know Yeah, you download this like a bitch to our show and you email us creepy things that sound gay you should know we love you anyway cause we're yog

and we're pod we suck and we blow we're bigger than God It's time for the show Who's no fuss this song I sing like a mong We fight about games Our glasses have frames

Yogg, Lewis knows all of the work Yogg, Pod, Simon just acts like a book Yogg, Pod, Simon just acts like a book We're Yogg and we, we yawk and we pod We suck and we blow We're bigger than God It's time for the show We used to be

In a guild Run by goons We made videos About fights no one knows Used to raid with puppies Now we play left for dead You should know how to shoot zombies in the head Cause we're yawg and we're pawd We suck and we blow Shoot zombies in the head.

Cause we're Yogg and we're Pod. We suck and we blow. We're bigger than God. It's time for the show. Oops, no, first this song. I sing like a mong. We fight about games. Our glasses have frames.

Yogg, Lewis does All of the work Work hard Simon just acts like a book Work we y'all can whip Hard we suck and we blow We're bigger than God It's time for the show Someone wrote these lyrics And they barely scan

Over the song oh god is this matter I can't make up my mind I'm just singing the theme song

to the show cause we're yawging we're The theme song to the show. Cause we're Yogg and we're Pod. We suck and we blow. We're bigger than God. It's time for the show. Oops, no. First it's song.

I sing like a monk. We fight about games. Our glasses have rain. Yogg, Lewis, does all all over the world Oop, pod Simon just acts like a boop Oop, cos we're Yogg and we're pod We suck and we blow We're bigger than God

It's time for the show That was Mulchie with Yogg and Pod a cover of the Katy Perry song Hot and Cold, especially and exclusively for the YogPod. If any of our other listeners out there would like to cover a popular song, especially for the YogPod, adding their own special lyrics about the special Yogpod special special special special, then please send your MP3s to

yogscast at gmail.com Thank you, yes. Special! That's a good idea. I don't know what happened there. I just went a little bit mad. Spazzed out. Yeah, you did. Special! What kind of things do you want them to cover? Classical stuff or classic rock, classic pop, metal?

What sort of styles do you want? Maybe something by Queen. Something slightly camp, I think, works in your favour. I mean, everyone knows someone who's in a band. So if you've got a local band and you play covers, you must play covers of some popular songs, so you how to play them green day anything just if you play an instrument if you play the recorder do a little recorder tune and then like sing some jog pod related lyrics doesn't have to be long uh any anything is good right it can be about the queen it can

be about jaffa cakes it can be anything Jaffa Cakes, it can be anything barely related. We want to hear it and we want to play it, okay? So send it in. Let me tell you a little story about something that happened today. Alright, yes, what is it? Let me. Okay. This is so fake.

Alright, go on then. Oh, you tell your story. Go on then, I'm just tell your story. Go on then. I'm just setting it up. Are you sitting comfortably? Then let me begin. So I've been up the street, and I'm walking home.

I've got a little bag of shopping that contains a load of cigarettes and a sandwich from the bakers. The cigarettes aren't from the bakers, the sandwich is. Sorry, just to clarify that so i'm walking down the street and i noticed that there's there's a little bit of something that i like to term continental drift or subcontinental drift rather okay something

below the equator has moved and i'm like oh what's what's going on what's going on and before i know it my boxer shorts have completely slipped down my body right my jeans are still on right my jeans are still on but somehow my boxers just slipped off. And I'm walking down the street with this amazing feeling of freedom. I have to put this subtly. My sausage roll and... No, no, oranges. My sausage roll and a cup of that. A banana and two oranges in a bag.

Was that right? The one which we were using? Oh, right, yeah. That's a bit more complimentary. So my banana and my two oranges have completely freed themselves from the confines of my boxer shorts. My jeans are still in place

perfectly normally. I don't even know how this happened. How can this happen? I think it was God. Something magical. Something magical occurred, Lewis. As I was walking. I don't know why.

It was just so weird. You know, I'm just, I'm walking and I think, what's going on? Oh. Oh. It was so odd. It was so odd. It was so odd.

This is a mysterious story of mystery and intrigue. But have you been, like, doing your boxer shorts on a hot wash and the elastic's just gone a bit, and it doesn't elastify? Well, I mean, that's a possibility. Or have you lost weight? I don't think that I'd have lost weight. So possibly your boxer shorts were a bit loose on you and they just sort of slipped down.

But, I mean, they didn't, like, come off completely, did they? And, like, come out the end of your trouser leg. I don't even know how that's possible. How would that happen? Because you've got both your legs through it. You can't... There's no way. There's no possible way that that could happen.

It was so weird, though. I felt like I was naked. I felt like I was nude. That's an amazing story. If any Yoggnaughts have a story as exhilarating as that, yoggscast.gmail.com Please keep it to yourself. Please keep it to yourself. Please keep it to yourself.

Or if you have an explanation for what might have happened. Yeah, what happened? What happened? Did someone cast a spell on me? Or something? What was going on? What was that all about?

I mean, I'm glad it wasn't the other way around. My trousers just... Whoop! Like a slide whistle went off. Oh, God. It was so weird, though. Have you never had that happen to you? No, I've never had anything even close to that.

I can't imagine it's something that happens... No, it was so weird. It's the kind of thing that might happen in like Eureka or something, you know? Or in Stargate Atlantis. In Fringe. Walter's examining his underpants. I need to take these underpants back to my lab.

Is that your Walter impression? Yeah, that's my Walter impression. It's really good. Hello, and welcome to... Yorkport Yorkport Yorkport So Hannah, have you done your cooking segment? Is it ready to go?

It is. I've got to find it in my book. It is time for Hannah's cooking segment. It is time for Hannah's cooking segment. It is time for Hannah's cooking segment. Hannah's cooking segment. Hannah's cooking segment. It is time for Hannah's cooking segment.

That's the best jingle I think I've ever heard. Wow. This is high praise. We have high hopes for this segment, Hannah. God. I don't know now. Don't disappoint us.

Try and make it funny as well. You can't make it funny. What do I look like? I don't know, I was reaching a bit there. Oh, man. Do it in a funny voice. No. Do it in a Welsh accent.

I can't do a Welsh accent. We've tried this. Yes, you can. You're really good at it. I can only do it when I'm trying to do, like, a Russian accent. Try and do a Russian accent. Hello? Santa's cooking segment.

Oh, no, it's Terry Wogan. It always happens. Always happens. Firstly, you're going to need a pen and paper. Okay. So, go and get one. So, pause the YogPod now. And never play it again.

Just leave it like that. Quick wash your hair. Okay, you're back. Right, okay. So, you've got your pen and paper. Firstly, you're going to need baking parchment What? And string

What the fuck is that? What is baking parchment? I've never heard of that in my life Fine, okay, greaseproof paper Do you know the way, you know in the supermarkets You've got where the tin foil and the cling film shit is There's something that looks like paper in a roll that's usually called greaseproof paper, baking paper.

Ah, yes, greaseproof paper. Something else. Yep. Yes. Yep. You need that and you need some string. Some string? But don't have string with anything on it.

What kind of string? This is complicated. You need paper and string. Paper, paper, no, hang on, hang on. Could you use? This is complicated. You need paper and string. Paper and... No, hang on, hang on. Could you use... It's ridiculous. Could you use the baking parchment as the paper that you're making notes on? No.

Well, you could, but it might get shit on it. By shit, I mean Thai sauce. It would be useful, though, if you served it in a restaurant and people were like, oh, this is really nice, can I have the recipe for this? And then you just smile wryly and you point at the baking paper. Also, the paper sometimes will crackle and just break

at the top, so you wouldn't be able to do that. It'd be like an old treasure map. So we've got some string. I mean, what kind of string? Is this the sort of string your dad always has a roll of? It's like white. It's the drawer. He brings it out and ties doors open with it. I'm sorry.

You don't want anything. My house is pretty much held together by string. He ties doors open with string. Oh, God. What's wrong with a doorstop? Everything's tied together with string. You can't use DIY string. If you don't like the blue-covered string

and shit like that, don't use that because it will come off, go in the sauce and you will probably die. Just get... Baking string. Baking string! Baking string! Is that in the cooking section as well along with the cling film

and the baking parchment? Buy some baking parchment and some baking yarn. Just plain string will do. Just don't get covered shit, varnish shit, whatever it's called. You will also need some red Thai curry paste, some root ginger, which is usually in all supermarkets now, but if not, get dried stuff.

Works just as well. Are we talking about root ginger as in the really knobbly vegetables? Yes. That you buy in the vegetable section. And it freezes as well. Are we talking about root ginger as in the really knobbly vegetables you can actually buy in the vegetable section? And it freezes quite well. Okay, so we've bought a knob of ginger. I believe that is the correct term. Yeah. A knob.

You can just break a bit off. Stick a knob of ginger up your arse. That's the recipe. Tie it with some string so that if it gets lost you can just tug it and it comes back out. Carry on. We'll cut this.

Right, so we've got the Richard hot fish stock. I'll give you the exact amounts in a bit because I can't be arsed right now. Coconut cream. You can get half fat coconut cream if you want to watch your weight, if not just go with the full fat, it tastes exactly the same. And then two fillets of some sort

of fish, salmon or cod. What's the name of this dish that people will be preparing? It's called Thai fish in a bag. Thai fish in a bag. Yeah. Sounds delicious. Could you not have come up with a more eloquent name? I mean, if you were serving it to the Queen, what would you call it, Heather? Not in a bag, because you're supposed to serve it in a bag. If not, you could do, like, a Thai green curry with salmon. This is a very highbrow dish, then.

It's in good housekeeping. For the Yacht Dots who are looking for a more refined palette. You need to call it something. Name it after yourself. Delicious. Call it, you know, Hannah's Hot Haddock. Lombag. Lombag.

Hannah's Hot Haddock. Yeah. Hannah's Hot Haddock. I like that more than Lombag. Hannah's Hot Haddock. It's okay. So we've got our knob of ginger. We've got a little jar of red curry paste

We've got some coconut cream in a tin We've got two fillets of fish Are you writing this down? Yeah, of course I am, everyone should be All the Yognauts should be writing this down I've emailed you this No, listen, this is for the Yognauts' benefit I want everyone, I want all Yognauts

To try and make this and give us feedback On what it was like I can promise you Someone has already gotten laid thanks to this dish And it wasn on what it was like. I can promise you someone has already gotten laid thanks to this dish. Really? And it wasn't me. Who was it? Totes. Totes. Totes' first meal he cooked for his girlfriend. I thought you were going to say his first sex. God. I probably was. Let's not go there. Half a yellow pepper, a carrot, some broccoli, and a bit of coriander. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Half a yellow pepper. I'm trying to write this down. Half a yellow pepper. Yep. Coriander. A carrot. A carrot. One carrot.

Could you try and talk like Nigella Lawson? No. First, you need a lovely thick stick of ginger. Oh, I believe the technical term is a knob. Oh, and you take your knob and you pop it gently into the warmly bubbling fish stock. Actually, you've got to grate it. Sorry.

Oh, God. So, okay, let's just start the... Sorry, Hannah, sorry. So, there's extra ingredients. Half a yellow pepper, coriander... Please, let's just start the video. This is getting silly now. Okay.

Those are the ingredients. Um... Hang on. I'm the cookie segment! Sorry, that's the new jingle. What? Was that the cooking monster? I sounded like him. Yeah. He's the cooking monster, Lewis.

The cooking monster. Ah, clever. Don't want to get into legal trouble. He's got to be called that. I'm the cooking segment! I'm the cooking! Sorry. Do I have to...

Sorry, go on. Do, go on, go on. Do I have to do the bag and string bit again, or have we got that? Have we established that? Just go through the list of ingredients, the full list of ingredients, in a very refined way, so people have a chance to reckon that. Right, okay. Okay, you will need red Thai curry paste. You need a quarter of a tablespoon.

One and a quarter centimetres worth of root ginger grated. It's a bit precise. But you can freeze the rest of the ginger and just ignore it for a year and it'll be fine. Or it'll grow mould, which is what happened to ours and we had to throw it out. Lovely. Lovely. Thanks for adding that. That's put me right in the mood for your delicious food.

You're welcome. Maybe we should just say, if you want the recipe and you're too retarded to write down... No, no. You could email us. Oh. Oh. Yeah, and then we could send the recipe out. No, no, no.

No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, oh. Yeah, and then we can send the recipe. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We could just do a tinyurl.com slash Hannah's cooking segment. I don't have anywhere to host it. Or Mulchie steals it. Yeah. We could replace it with Goat Sea. People will be looking at it and thinking,

is that where I put the ginger? 50 ml of hot fish stock. 100 ml of coconut cream. There is half-fat coconut cream now available in shops. It tastes exactly the same. Because this is a pretty fatty meal. Whatever fish you want,

it's got to be skinless. Could you use fish fingers? Half a yellow... No. Could you though? Fish cake? No, no, no. Could you use fish fingers though? Could you use fish fingers? Yes. Okay. Yes. So that's optional. And you can use them from frozen.

This recipe, you can use the fish from frozen. It still will cook it. Okay. Excellent. Frozen fish fingers it is. So if you want fish fingers... Okay, half a yellow pepper, finely sliced, a carrot cut into strips, and seventy five grams of broccoli which is cut into small florets, so sort of your normal bite size amount. Coriander and lime to serve if you want it, you don't have to, and also some rice of some description, possibly jasmine rice. Jasmine rice.

Jasmine rice. Ooh. Or sticky rice. Anything like that will work. Okay, yep, good. It's just quite rich, so you want something something with it so you're preheating the oven to 200 degrees C or well it depends on what your oven is if you've got I'm hitting the thing if you've got a fan assisted oven it's 180 degrees C otherwise it's gas mark 6 or 200 degrees C

can you deep fat fry it? that's what I'm interested in no my mate James he's got this amazing deep fat fryer. And we heard about the chips. Really nice chips. Could you serve it with chips? Could you have this? Yes. So you can have fish fingers with a piece of ginger stuck up them,

covered in paste, served with chips. In a bag. Yeah. With string tied around it. And if I give this to a lady that I'm courting, she'll just automatically want to engage in sexual congress with me. Pretty much.

So let's let Hannah finish off the recipe, the cooking style. And then you can take the piss. So you've preheated your oven, just leave that and you want to fry your curry paste and the ginger which you have grated up and peeled, don't put the skin in. Put it in the pan for about a minute, don't put any oil in because the ginger and the paste should sort themselves out. You then want to add the coconut cream and the stock and mix it all up. And once it's mixed well, you want to put it in a jug and cool it slightly. Just sort of leave it on the side.

Right, so whilst that's cooling, you then want to cut out two squares, which are 36 or more centimetres along each side. Oh right, okay. And two pieces of string which are... Cut squares of what? The parchment thing that we talked about. Oh right, okay. Sorry, I should have said... 36.

36 centimetres. I would go a little bit... yes. I would... well, the thing says 35.5, but that's a bit silly. You might need a ruler for this. When I did it, I went slightly bigger with the bag size, because otherwise tying it can be a bit of a pain. It depends how many fish fingers you have to put in the bag. I mean, if you're hungry, I guess you want to go up to three, maybe.

Yeah. You have to leave a space above the fish as well so you have to account for that which is why you want quite a big sized bag. Parchment thing. Do you just pull the stock into this bag? Yes. I'm getting there, I'm getting there. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. What you then need to do...

Okay, so you've cut out some cubes, some squares of parchment. Yes, and you've cut two pieces of string, which are about 31 centimetres or more. Okay. Again, very precise. Oh, God, it's so precise. Yeah. What the fuck? You need a ruler.

Make sure you buy a ruler at Asda when you're buying all this. Now what you need to do is you need to get your protractor out and your compass, and you need to draw a 62 degree angle on the parchment. This will allow you to calculate the trajectory of the fish as it is placed inside the bag. I think it would be quite nice if you're doing this for two people, you could like put people's names on the bag. No you can't. I think that would be a nice touch.

Yeah. It burns. You could like decorate it with art. You could draw like a willy on it You don't really want to be doing anything with the bags How do we make the bags? Sorry, I haven't really understood that part Yes, okay

Stop talking then You get a bowl Two bowls Two cereal bowls And you place the parchment In each of the bowls and push down gently so you basically got a bowl that's lined with paper okay then what you do with that is you cut your fish or fish fingers into it says here four pieces for the one fillet, so cut a fish finger in half, maybe. Oh my god.

Have you got any potato waffles? Can you put like a half potato waffle in there as well, just to pad it out? Oh man. Right, so you put that in, and then you fill the bowls with the carrots, broccoli and peppers, putting half in each, and then you fill the bowls with the carrots, broccoli and peppers, putting half in each, and then you put the fish over the top of that,

and then you pour half of the liquid into each bowl. Are these raw? Are these raw carrots and broccoli and peppers? Yeah, it all cooks. This is the beauty of it, it will all come out cooked. So you pop in your fish fingers first, then you pop in your raw veg into this bowl. No, no, no. You put the veg in, then you put the fish on top of that. Oh, right.

Okay, okay. Sorry. Your frozen fish fingers, obviously. Yes. Okay. Yes. And then you pour half of the liquid. It's not...

I don't think it's that easy to cut a frozen fish finger in half. You might have to use some... You can snap it. Some, like, hedge... What are they called? Wire cutters. If you have any of those. A chainsaw. Use can snap it. Some, like, hedge... What are they called? Wire cutters? If you have any of those. A chainsaw. Use a chainsaw.

Okay, yes. Do it in style. Or just a knife, you know. They're only little things. That's what she said. And then you pour the liquid on it. Half of the liquid in each bowl. Okay.

Because the idea is it steams everything with the liquid and you get a nice concentrated liquid at the end. That's the sauce instead of just cream with shit in it. Okay, so you've got your veg, your fish fingers and then you sort of concentrate the sauce bosh on the top. Yes. What you then need to do is you take the corners of the baking parchment and basically make it into a parcel. But you need to make sure that you've got about two and a half centimetres above the fish that's just basically space. Because it needs it for the steam to get out and stuff. So explain to me this parcel thing. So we've got our parchment in the bowl.

We put the other piece of parchment over it, do we? And then we we've got our parchment in the bowl. We put the other piece of parchment over it do we? And then we sort of just what, fold it over the bowl as well? No! Oh god. No, you have one piece of parchment in one bowl. You have another bowl with another piece in, and you've like pressed them in so all the stuff is on top of this parchment. And you then like take the corners that are sticking out and tie them together. So you've got a bag sitting in a bowl, basically. With another bowl on top of it? No, there's no other bowl.

What? You've got two bowls with two bags. What do you mean there's two bowls with two bags? So you've got four pieces of parchment? What? Oh, what? No. No, two pieces of parchment. So what you're saying is you get the piece of parchment that's in the bowl, and you tie the four corners together at the top, tightly.

Like a stork's package. Like a package coming from the stork. You know what I mean? Yes. Yeah. But you want to leave a tiny... You want to leave a tiny little hole so that steam can escape. Okay, so you don't want to tie it up too tight.

But I guess if you're doing it like that, you can't really steam can escape. So you don't want to tie it up too tight. But I guess if you're doing it like that, you can't really tie it up. But you don't want to tie it up too loose. Not too loose, not too tight. Okay. Couldn't you just tie it up really tight and make a tiny little hole in the bag? That's probably what I'd do. No, because the bag will splinter and break. Because under high heat,

the barking parchment, the baking parchment, it like shatters so the top bits that are quite burnt will like shatter off which is why you can serve it at the table in the bag but it's a bit iffy because you don't want bag in your food do you uh well that depends okay well i mean thanks hannah i i mean i I mean, the idea of this segment was really so we could give Yognauts a simple but effective recipe to try on their own and report back. So if anyone has managed to follow this recipe and has a chance to give it a go, good luck and get back to us. Yogscast at gmail.com

Yeah, we want to hear from you. You do realise that they haven't got a cooking time yet so it's not actually cooked. Oh. How long do you pop them in the oven for?

You put them in for 15 to 20 minutes. 15 to 20 minutes in the bag. You take the bag out, what, you put it on a plate? Yes. I assume we'll just leave it in the microwave instead.

No. God, no. It relies on steaming, so no. Yeah, you can do that in the microwave. I've done it plenty of times. Okay, guys. We want pics of your failed attempts, or good attempts.

Oh, God, pictures of it would be incredible. I'll do a picture of mine. We would like pictures of... I've got to buy some broccoli and some peppers, but I will do one, and I'll put it on Twitter. Hello, you are listening to the Yogpod. Hello? So I'm just looking through the Yogscast email, because I think, I hate the fact that this show is turning into stuff that's just sent by the fans, but there's such a lot of stuff they've sent this last time that I kind of have to...

It's not like we've got anything else to talk about, is it? No. We get some really good quality emails, don't we? Oh, yeah. We've got some amazing, amazing correspondence over the months. There was that guy who said that he wanks over us 16 hours a day. There's that person whose brother put a sheet over him and scared him. Oh yeah, Eric Frost.

All good stuff. He emailed again, although you told him not to, didn't you? Oh God. Remember? You said never email again. I think I did. Yeah, I banned him. He's emailed us again. I banned him from the show. Because you banned him because you'd beaten up his little brother,

and now he's trying to sort of make up excuses. So he said, I only stated that he was driven to the hospital. I did not state that it was my fault that he got beaten up so bad. He's saying he tripped over and twisted his ankle and had to go to the hospital. What did he trip over? His brother's foot or something? At the top of the stairs? That black eye, you know,

came when he fell down the stairs, yeah. Walked into a door. That's the old one. Sounds like a sort of battered wife sort of story. In Yodpod 21, you thanked Joris for his donation. I was listening to it as me and him were doing a ZG together and

heard his name come up. I was annoyed that my name wasn't mentioned because it was me that introduced him to your awesome videos way back in December. So if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have had that donation. How the fuck am I supposed to know that? How am I supposed to know

that? The fucking automated email comes through to me saying that someone's donated. It doesn't say oh, you know, his mate told him to do this or whatever. I mean, I can't take the blame for that. I cannot take the blame for that. Fuck you. What's his name again?

It's in my comment. It's this. What? What kind of a name is that? I know, I don't know how to pronounce it either. Bart Hidgemans. Fuck you Bart Hidgemans. Hidgemans. Is he Dutch? I think so. He might be Dutch or something. I mean what the fuck is it with people with weird names emailing us? This one's... I mean these things I'm getting these... Loads of Europeans listen to us. It's a good thing. This guy... They love us, Europeans. Send me... And I love them. Apart from Bart Hidgemans. Fuck you, I don't like you. This guy sent... I like your friend, who gave us money, but I don't

like you. Joris. I hope the raptor never drops in Zul'Gurub. Sorry, go on. This guy called Otar Gislason has sent me about a three-page email explaining evolution to me. Otar Gislason has sent you a three-page email about evolution. Pretty much. Does he make any analogies to balloons? No, he's just sort of He's drawn lots of diagrams Using equal signs And arrows and square brackets And things

He's got a picture of a dinosaur And then an equal sign And then there's a picture of a man Like a little arrow Yeah, so I mean he's I'm not really sure I can read through all this. No, I'd rather you didn't. The first slide says, evolution happens incredibly slowly and gradually.

And that's pretty much how his email goes as well. Oh dear. Well, I mean, it's good that people want to email us and that they're doing so. I just wish the quality of the emails was somewhat better. Other people have emailed us with an absolutely, like, the most lazy description of evolution you could possibly think of. So those were the good emails that you said previously. Some people have done the opposite. We've got the good ones out of the way.

It's like this guy called Connor Fairbairn says, what happens is, when genes are copied to make a child of species, errors are made. These can be beneficial so the species carries on. That's how it ties in. That's pretty...

That's not a bad description. It sums it up quite nicely. It's not done a bad job there, Connor. It's not bad. It's better a bad description. You know, it sums it up quite nicely. It's not done a bad job there, Connor. It's not bad. It's better than three pages. Jesus Christ. Who's going to read three pages about evolution? I know.

A biologist probably would. Yeah, Richard Dawkins. What did we actually ask people to email us about? I forget. Thanksgiving? Have we got any emails about Thanksgiving? When is Thanksgiving?

What is it all about? What's going on? There's nobody telling us about this. We've got American listeners, don't we? Why aren't they contacting us? At yogscast at gmail dot com. Come on, you lazy sacks of shit. Put down that double Big Mac and type an email.

Okay, that's not a great exercise regime. No. You probably eat at the same time to be honest. I mean, I do sometimes. A couple of jaffas on the go in my mouth as I'm emailing.

This guy sent me an email which is like really, really long. If you're going to send emails to the Yogpod guys, don't just have a huge block of text that takes up my entire screen

because there's no way I'm going to be able to extract what is interesting out of this I mean, should I just start reading it and see if I can cut it if it's total shit? Well, if people want to email us and they want the emails to be read out

they should keep the emails to the point they should keep them short and concise it's like when you're writing letters to a newspaper well i mean okay section which i imagine nobody who listens to this podcast has ever done okay so so i don't even know why i mentioned that the title of this completely insane letter is thanksgiving plus killing plus late ghost stories and other stuff that's not important but it is important that you read out all of this or else i will unsubscribe not really but it will make me happy

if you read all of it so that's the title right oh my god and then the actual email goes you wanted to know what thanksgiving is so i will tell you thanksgiving is giving thanks to native americans for teaching the pilgrims how to grow corn and hunt and all that jazz before the winter because Really? Apparently. So, the pilgrims... Also, you were talking about... No, no, hang on. The pilgrims that came over to America,

none of them knew how to grow crops or hunt. They were just completely... Did they not plan for what would happen when they got there? They were like, oh god, what are we going to do? Is there a Tesco somewhere for Sainsbury's? Oh fuck.

Well, I don't know. Maybe they just had an unexpectedly difficult time or something. I don't know. You can imagine a bunch of middle class church going people from middle England just getting into a boat and going off to America.

They wouldn't have the first clue about having to be self sufficient, would they? Most people in the old good old days. Maybe that's right. That's what they were called, the old good old days. They knew how to do stuff's what they were called, ye old good old days. They knew how to do stuff. They actually had

skills that they would use in their daily lives. They kept chickens outside. Yeah, they kept chickens, that's a good skill to have,

keeping chickens. And they killed them. They knew how to kill their own food. They knew where their food came

from. Okay. It's not as though it's... Oh, sorry, go on. Sorry. No, go on, no, go on. I was just going to read

the next part of this rambling email. Oh, we've got to get through this, actually, so we should keep the interruptions down, otherwise this is going to be the entire

fucking podcast. Okay. It's going to be an hour of you reading this one email. Also, you were talking about killing people, and I thought if you

got a box, filled it with water, stuck a metal rod in it, then froze it so you had an ice mallet, and whack him over the head with it, and then feed the body to some hungry wild animals like a bear or something, that just ends.

It's a full stop. So I suppose... Wow. So I suppose that's... I don't think... We shouldn't be rude to him. If he's thinking up kinds of schemes like that, we shouldn't be too unkind

Because otherwise You know Your back's turned And you get a whack on the head By a large block of ice And Harry's going to lift that That'd be quite heavy Wouldn't it

Well yeah But I suppose It's just a large lollipop That he's banging people Over the head with I also wanted to share A ghost story I experienced When I was four

It's too late Halloween's gone It's gone Halloween's gone We can experienced when I was four. It's too late. Halloween's gone. It's gone. Halloween's gone. We can't do any more ghost stories. It's over. I just let me get through this. Unless it's about Christmas. If it's a Christmas ghost, I'll allow that.

But if it's a non-Christmas ghost, or non-Thanksgiving ghost, I'm not interested. We'll have to wait until February for the next Halloween Yoggpod special Spectacular I was A while later I woke up

And saw all these jacket boxes Baxes He saw what? A while later I I had fucked up the reading What? He saw what? Jacket boxes.

I read it wrong. Hang on, let me start again. Jacket boxes. A while later I woke up and saw all these jack in the boxes. He saw all these jack in the boxes floating in the air, but I think it was because I was tripping on Robo-tussin. Robi-tussin. What the fuck is that?

No idea. We shouldn't be surprised that he's medicated. Oh, hang on. It's a cold and cough medicine. For children, I think. A children's cough medicine. He was high on it. That's what Keith Chegwin used to drink night nurse

because he used to be an alcoholic and uh he wasn't allowed any alcohol um you know his wife wouldn't let any in the house and they'd search for it and pour it all down the drain so he used to go to the chemists and buy night nurse and get drunk on it. Anyway, that's a tangent. So this weird little man, this weird little Yognor, he's a child, he's high on cough syrup, and he's looking at a whole load of Jack in the Boxes.

Floating in the air. Floating? What? So he was like, oh, yeah, they were floating in the air. He was like hallucinating, obviously. He also had this recurring dream where I walked into a restaurant that wasn't really a restaurant, but it was actually a big half pipe like you skateboard on. Have you ever skateboarded on a half pipe, Simon?

Yeah, I have actually. I've surfed a bit too. Done some parasailing, a bit of hang gliding, you know. Really? Yeah, where do you think I've beened a bit too Have you? Dab some Done some parasailing A bit of hang gliding, you know Really? Yeah, where do you think I've been the last week? I would wake up and it would be like When you use your slowdown power in fear What?

I'm not quite sure what that means It's like bullet time or something From the Matrix Yeah, so you'd wake up and you'd have like Bullet time Oh, that's cool Well, I'm pretty hyper or something from the Matrix. Yeah, so you'd wake up and you'd have, like, bullet time. Do-do. Do-do. Oh, that's cool. Well, I'm pretty hyper because I just had a bunch of sugar,

and that's why this email is so long. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, it's getting late where I am, so I'm going to end it here. Okay. So he's taking him so long to write the email that... It's his bedtime. How old is he he's like

he takes cough syrup he hallucinates Jack in the boxes he skates and he's he's eaten lots of sugar and it's his bedtime what the fuck

he's got like 11 year olds emailing us oh man oh god okay this guy what was his name

the guy who just emailed us all that crap? Who's that? Pew, pew, pew, pew. Thank you, pew, pew, pew, for your email. You're banned from the show. Banned.

Fuck off. Never email us again. Everyone else can email us, apart from Bart. I just went to his MySpace page where he's made like remixes.

You'll have to play one. Play one in the show. Let me make it to you. Hang on. Are they terrible? Please tell me they're terrible. They haven't had a lot of plays, have they?

The one I'm listening to has got 32 plays. Oh my god, what the hell? This is the kind of music that you like and you put on our YouTube videos. Should use this for the next one. Could you do a professional DJ style like intro to what you know to like a band you know. You're listening to the Yoggpod Mix, here we have now Tronic with Curb playing now Yoggpod style listening.

How's that? That was fantastic! Oh yeah! It's like a sort of 16-bit trans tune. I like it man, I like this. Don't you like this? I think it's brilliant, we should play it during the show. Definitely play this. I've edited this into the background, so this will be playing behind us now. We are playing it. Sorry if you forgot, you just edit things into it.

We're listening to it now! Yeah! Oh it's really good! We're like rocking out. See now I've stopped it, so i'm not actually listening to it oh god i actually quite like this it's not bad is it it's fairly decent actually I feel bad about mocking her. This is Chirp. You're listening to the Yolk Pod.

Okay, that's all for today. Please send us your musical covers and also your feedback on the recipe, Hannah's cooking segment, if you were able to cook it based on our terrible instructions. And let us know what you think. Yolkscast.gmail.com Bye!