Triforce! - YoGPoD 29: SCRAMMMBLED

Episode Date: April 14, 2010

Brian Blessed pops into the show, Simon and Lewis hunt for Warwick Davis and talk about Dr Who, Teletubbies and all sorts of various bumph. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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do we have any celebrity guests on this week or anything? Is there anyone scheduled? Well, Warwick is still missing. He's MIA. I'm pretty worried about him. I've put up posters on

notice boards and I've put an posters on notice boards and I've put an ad out in the Metro newspaper in London town asking if anyone had seen him the only picture I had of Warwick Davis was him in the role of the leprechaun

but I'm hoping it's a good enough likeness that we'll get some sort of response and people get in contact with me if they find him because you know i don't know how he he'll cope on his own he's only a little fella so we've got no warwick um but in his stead, we have... You're not going to believe this, Lewis. No. We have the fabled actor, raconteur, television personality, film star... Brian Blessed is here, ladies and gentlemen. Really?

Round of applause. Holy crap. Woohoo! Yay! I can't really clap because I have to press this button when I turn my mic on. But clap, yay. Clap, clap. Hello! Is that Lewis

there? Yes, it is. Very nice to have you on the show, Brian. It's very good to hear your voice. It's lovely to be here. Well, I must admit, we hadn't really planned on having you here. But we have got some questions for dwarves. Would you be willing to answer those?

I'm willing to give it a go, Lewis. I'm up for anything, you know me. First question. These are some questions sent in by Matt Summers. When and how did you meet Simon? I mean, how did you end up coming on this show? I met him in Tesco

last night in the biscuit aisle. Okay. Were you purchasing biscuits yourself, or were they for a friend? What a fucking weird question. What biscuits were you purchasing, Brian? He's quite pensive, he's giving this question some thought.

They were for my daughter, Rosalind! Right. He's buying them for his daughter. Yeah. Has she got a beard like yours as well, Brian? No! No. No.

He hasn't. So Brian, what's your current acting status? Any TVs or movie shows in the works? Movie shows. Movie shows? Yeah. It's a movie show. Any TVs or movie shows? I'm on stage in the London town.

Uh-huh. What are you... Are you in a play or something, Brian? It's a musical. Right. It's a musical. It's very interesting. So you're singing, are you?

I didn't know. I didn't know you sang. I didn't know you could sing. I don't sing! I dance! He dances. That's lovely. So you've got all these questions for dwarves, and we haven't got a dwarf on this week.

Because Brian Blessed, he is quite a tall man. I'm sure if you looked at his Wikipedia article, Lewis, you could tell how old he is. Well, I won't ask that. Brian, Brian, how do magnets work? It's magic! Okay. What would be your ideal woman?

I guess you're married. You must be married. What's your wife like? Is that very personal? You really want to ask? What's he going to say to that? What's your wife like? She's horrible!

I mean, what? Brian, you can't say that oh my god she's a right battle axe oh my god what if she's listening to this oh my god hello and welcome to

TTT Channel Yorkport, this is the Yorkport Yorkport, this is the Yorkport Yorkport, Yorkport Yorkport, Yorkport This is the Yorkport So of course Brian Blessed, he's most famous for playing the role of Hagrid in the Harry Potter movies. What? That's what he's famous for, really, isn't it? That was Robert Carl...

Robert Carlisle. Coltrane. Robert Carlisle played the role. What is Brian Blessed most famous for? I think Brian Blessed, he's most famous for being Brian Blessed. Isn't that right? Yes! Brian Blessed!

I'm Brian Blessed! Brian Blessed is an English actor and adventurer. He is known for his loud, booming voice and hearty, king-sized portrayals. Would you say that was accurate? Yes! I wrote the article on Wikipedia about myself. I've just found out your wife's name. It's Hildegard. That's a very... That's what I sort of expected.

Terrible name for a terrible woman! Okay. Oh my god. Sorry to bring that up. Oh dear. Hmm. Is there anything else you want to ask him? Because he's quite busy. Hold on.

He's not just going to hang around here. I think he's gotten a bit bored. He's wandered off down to the kitchen. Oh. Brian, what are you doing down there? I'm making a jam sandwich! Oh, he's making a sandwich. Can you hear that?

Yeah, yeah. He is quite loud. I mean, my God. I think most of London can hear him. God, I wonder what he's like in bed. Do you think he's that noisy? Oh, God. That's right, Hildegard!

Keep doing that! Oh, God. That's right, Hildegard! Keep doing that! Oh, God. That was a bit of pre-recorded footage of Brian Blessed. I've been bugging his house. He's come back now. He's got his jam sandwich. He's quite happy. Right, OK.

I've got a question for you. Brian, you've got a bit of jam. You've got a bit of jam in your beard there, mate. You might want to just... So have you got anything to ask him whilst he nibbles on his jam sandwich? Jake Railton asks, I was having this argument with my friend

whilst eating a full English breakfast. He noticed that I had eaten all the white stuff around the egg, but not the yolk. I usually save it till last. I want to know how you eat your eggs. Right. So we had a guy email in right now asking Brian Blessed a question about how he eats his eggs.

Yeah, yeah. So Brian, how do you eat your eggs? Scrambled! I can believe that. I can believe that. I can believe that. How do you... I mean, how do you scramble them? You know, do you add a bit of milk, a bit of cream, or butter or anything? I JUST SHOUTED THEM!

Oh, God. This is gonna be awful, isn't it? This is gonna to be awful isn't it? This is going to be so bad! Hello, this is Kenny Baker and I listen to the Yunkbot That is just weird You want to say, this is Kenny Baker and then what he's famous for Hello, this is Kenny Baker. I'm famous for being a dwarf, and I listen...

No. Hello. God, I can't do it now. Hello, this is Kenny Baker, and I'm famous for being the dwarf Who was inside of R2-D2 In a Star Wars franchise of movies And I listen to the Ox-Pod

I've got a series of questions That I can ask you You have to You have to have your iTunes up Okay Or your music program of choice. Right, go on then. And you have shuffle or randomize on.

And the answers to each of the questions are the titles of the track that come up. Okay. So, have you got your iTunes ready and on standby? Ready to go? Give me a second. Ready. Okay. So, have you got your iTunes ready and on standby? Yes. Ready to go? Give me a second. Ready?

Okay. I have 3,460 items. Welp. That's an awful lot of illegal music you've got on your computer there, Lewis. I've not got a lot of music, though. A lot of it is audio books Well that's fine then

Because those things are a public domain Go on then Okay Question one If someone says Is this okay You say I say

The adventure of the Noble Bachelor. Wow. That doesn't really make any sense at all. Okay. So, you go to the next song, and the question is, how would you describe yourself? Before our very eyes.

Wow. That's deep, man. That's deep. Okay. How about... Yeah, that is pretty deep. What do you like in a girl? Geoffrey Miller Interview 8

What? What? Fuck Okay Geoffrey Miller Interview 8 Is what you like in a girl That's um Yeah

This is why you will die alone what you like in a girl. That's, um... Yeah. This is why you will die alone. There aren't enough girls out there that have enough, um... You know, they don't have an awful lot of Geoffrey Miller, Interview 8 in them. Okay, question four. How do you feel today? Uh, hypnotic

tango. Oh, that's good. What's your motto? Now this should hopefully work. E-0-B-E-A-6-C-C-E-3-1-B-5-6-6-B-8-4-6-F-0-A-E-D-4-B-A-8-E-DBA8ED05.mp3. Are you a robot or something? I think that's one of the ones you sent me. It's hexadecimal.

That's that woman who says weird stuff. What? She goes like, You are listening to the Yoggpug. Do you remember? Oh, God. Oh, God, that. Yeah, yeah.

Hi, I'm Katie Perry from Hot and Cold, and you're listening to The Young Pod. It's like a man's voice, though. I'll play it. I'll play it on The Young Pod. Oh, God. We've got some new liners that people will be able to hear. That'll be nice. Oh, man. Okay, so, we're up to question seven. What do your friends think of you?

The End, by Pearl Jam. The End. Your friends think The End when they look at you. What do you think of your parents? Heaven. Top 100 chance. You look at your parents and you think Heaven. Won't be long, they'll be up there.

Hopefully. What is 2 plus 2? Thunder in my there. Hopefully. What is two plus two? Thunder in my heart. Okay. Okay. It's probably... It's quite unlikely that you would have gotten that question right. It would have been good if you...

If you had a song by the Four Tops as the result of that one. I don't have any of that. No. Okay. What do you think of me? Super Mario World Monstrous Turtles. Well, thanks, pal. Thanks, pal. Likewise to you too buddy Oh man What do you think of Your secret crush I'm not saying who it is

You raise me up By Westlife Why is that on there That's beautiful That's beautiful You've got every number one Yeah I've got every UK number one. It's double-edged 2005.

You raised me up. You don't have to sing it. Please don't. Please don't. I'd rather you didn't. Okay. Okay, question 13. What is your life story?

Uh, hit me with your rhythm stick. Brilliant. Brilliant. Bit of the injury and the blockheads. Brilliant. Brilliant. A bit of Ian Drury and the Blockheads. Correct. Wow. Okay, what do you think of when you see the person you have a crush on?

It's turning into a music quiz. When you lay your eyes upon them, what pops into your head? The Problem of Thorbridge by Arthur Conan Doyle. There we we go do you never do you not think that you should maybe create subfolders or playlists and have the music in one playlist and have audiobooks under another one no you know wouldn't that just make it easier i mean what happens if you just want to listen to random music? Are you listening to Westlife and then all of a sudden

you have Harry Potter that comes on. That's me doing Stephen Fry. Harry Potter and the man with the golden gun. You've never read Harry Potter, have you? Good God.

Having not read Harry Potter, I'd love you to do a little impression of what you think Harry Potter sounds like as an audiobook. Harry Potter turned to Hermione, his cheeks aflush, and said,

Hermione, what does it mean when my willy gets hard? Hermione, Hermione's What does it mean when my willy gets hard? Oh, God. Hermione. Hermione's jaw dropped to the floor as she turned to Harry and said, Are you all right? Harry, it's natural.

It's nothing to be afraid of. Come here. Give me a kiss. Mwah. Mwah kiss Goodness me Oh god this is horrible Let's move on with the quiz please Do you know that Harry and Hermione don't

Like have any kind of relationship In Harry Potter No but they No they have to be I don't want to spoil it for you Anyone that's listening We just did I can't want to spoil it for you, anyone that's listening. We just did. I didn't tell you who.

I can't believe you've never read Harry Potter or watched the films. The films are terrible, but the books are great. I haven't read all the fucking Mr. Men books. So, you know, am I missing out on that as well? Yeah, but no, you're not. You're not. But the thing is, Mr. Men books are designed for under fives. Not much, bitch. And Harry Harry Potter is They're for adults

They're an adult book That's why it's set in a school of wizardry Harry Potter is aimed Harry Potter is aimed at the same audience as Doctor Who And you love Doctor Who You're a self confessed lover of Doctor Who Yeah I love Doctor Who but it makes me very angry. Do you know what I'd be like

if I was watching or reading Harry Potter? I'd just go fucking apeshit. I'd go, you know, that's bullshit. Harry would never fucking do that. Why would he,

why would he do that? That's ridiculous. Oh, Voldemort, just fucking kill him. Just fucking kill him. He does. Because that's how I talk. I can't do an impression of myself.

Harry Potter is very good. I don't give a shit. Come on, we've got a few questions left and we're done with this quiz, right? What will you dance to at your wedding? Love Game by Lady Gaga. Okay, what is your biggest fear? Overcome.

Your biggest fear is to... Overcome. To be overcome. Nice. What's your biggest secret? Shh, it's a secret. Down with the sickness. Come on, down with the sickness.

Wah-ah-ah-ah. The last one doesn't really make much sense, but it's... OK, let's change it. What do you make of this quiz? Ever long. Ever long. There we go. It was ever long. Ever long by fever. And that wraps up this terrible section, which is completely unusable. Everlong by Fever and that wraps up

this terrible section which is completely unusable and is just I don't know sorry well done

got the wrong band there right oh god that was terrible fucking hell hello I'm Tina Barrett from S Club 7 and I listened to the Yodpod.

If any listeners want to go to it, the URL is Oh God, don't read all this out. It's ridiculously long. d-a-r-r-y-n-r-e-e-d-s dot tripod.com slash s-club-7-secrets.html So what is this? Is it some sort of a bizarre conspiracy site? hyphen club hyphen seven hyphen secrets dot html So what is this? Is it some sort of a bizarre conspiracy site? It's the work of a nutter of a deranged man probably a yognaut

just hazarding a guess with that Since the dawn of man true evil had surrounded us, lurking in the darkness like a dark lurking thing, ready to pounce on any poor unsuspecting innocent fool who stumbled blindly into its path. The lord and master of this domain goes by many names. Beelzebub, the Dark Lord, the Fallen One,

Santa, and of course the Beast. But today, as we fast approach the 20th century evil, has taken over. What do you mean, we fast approach the 20th century? Was this website written before? Yeah, I think this is quite an old website.

This website is at least 11 years old. 10 years ago. See, this is ridiculous an old website. This website is at least 11 years old. 10 years ago. See, this is ridiculous. This shows that it is just a paranoid conspiracy nut doing it. Okay. They think that there are hidden messages in the S Club 7 songs that when you play them backwards reveal something secret. Right.

Which is just utterly, utterly ridiculous. Because no one ever does that. which is just utterly, utterly ridiculous. Because no one ever does that. But today, as we fast approach the 20th century, evil has taken not one, but seven new names. And lo, they be Tina, John, Paul, Hannah, Bradley, Rachel, Joe. Dun-dun-dun. Hannah Bradley Rachel Joe dun dun dun so basically

this guy seems to think that S Club are they think that the S stands for Satan and he goes through the lyrics

Satan Club 7 what does it stand for actually Satan Club 7 Mary Whitehouse it says Mary Whitehouse says as the resident morality guardian for CIB PP all I have to say

regarding the s club seven is quite simply fuck them fuck them right in the ear and you can fucking well quote me on Oh hello I'm Tina Barrett formerly of S Club 7 I still have yet to release my my debut solo album because it's not really going very well but um in the meanwhile I like to listen to the Yoggpod oh it's really good Lewis and Simon are really amazing goodbye goodbye

I don't know why I said goodbye there I just felt like it was polite this week me and Simon are looking forward to the new Doctor Who coming out. I don't know if this is a big deal to anyone beyond the UK, but we've been sort of spammed with... Yeah, they're promoting it heavily.

I mean, do you reckon people beyond England really know about Doctor Who? Is it popular in America or Europe? It's being shown on BBC America like a week later or something. Doctor Who's one of these things that is sort of a very British tradition I suppose in a way. It's something we

have close to our heart. It's a long running British TV show that is set mostly in Britain or you know All the actors are British and the Doctor's a very British character. It's a very BBC programme. It was all very...

It was like a family but slightly scary sci-fi show. I mean, did you ever watch any of the old ones? Yeah. I mean, the only one I really remember is from... Oh, God. I mean, the only one I really remember is from, um... Oh, God. I watched pretty much all of the Sylvester McCoy ones, and he was

a bad doctor. So it kind of left a... What do you mean, a bad doctor? Like a sour taste in my mouth. He was pretty terrible at playing Doctor Who. Well, every series took parts from their individual time. I mean, like, during the 70s and 80s, they were slightly different.

And it's been through so many incarnations. I really can't watch the old ones, though. I mean, one time, I remember I was living in a student house. And we got delivered to the door one day a brown sort of package. It was just addressed to the house. sort of package. It was just addressed to the house. And it contained about ten

VHS tapes containing really old Doctor Who films and series of TV shows. Weird. It was really weird. Because obviously none of the girls had ordered it. They all just assumed I'd bought it.

And so I just sold it on eBay. Sold them on eBay. I didn't watch them. Because I didn't really have a VHS player. But I might have done if I had. Isn't that theft? What? You sold something that didn't belong to you. There could have been someone, you know,

desperately looking for them. It got delivered to the wrong address. And you're profiting off of it. Handed them in to the police. Well, anyway, I mean, that's... I mean, I'm a fan of Doctor Who. And there was one time when I was about 16 in London

and one of the doctors was doing a lecture, Tom Baker, on some sort of science my god science of doctor who or something and i attended that and like i met him and had a chat with him as well which was quite cool ah so i've actually met one of the doctors which is kind of cool um it doesn't mean he's my favorite one because everyone sort of has a favorite doctor, don't they? He's most people's favourite Doctor Who. He's a nice guy, Tom Baker. Like the big blustering Englishman.

I think he's cut from the same cloth as Brian Blessed. They're from that same kind of old school... Yeah. Just crazy people. Who's your favourite then? Oh God, I don't know, really. The thing is, people's opinion of the Doctor is completely decided by which Doctor they watch the most of. And we've had Tenant for so long.

We had Tenant for so long we had Tenant for so long and I've watched every single episode of Tenant and I've watched it recently so when I think of the Doctor I think of David Tenant now it's just ingrained in me and this is why it's going to be pretty weird

to have a new guy take over because everyone just thinks Doctor Who, oh David Tenant And this is why it's going to be pretty weird to have a new guy take over. Because everyone just thinks, Doctor Who, oh, David Tennant. They don't think of it as the character, the person who changes from time to time into someone else. I think you're wrong. I think a lot of people do realise it's the character. And I mean, you saw the same thing happen when Christopher Eccleston did it for a year and then changed over to David Tennant I mean people were like oh I like Christopher Eccleston I'm not sure I'm gonna like anyone else but actually you know people people got to like him quite quickly and I think the same thing will probably happen I mean I'm predicting that you'll actually in you know three

weeks time after you've watched a few episodes you'll say to me yeah it's okay it's nothing great but he's okay you're not too yeah disappointed i guess he does look to be i mean the thing is at its heart dr who's a kids tv show yeah so there's always going to be daft things happening in it and it's you know they know their audience very well and oh god it's going to be ridiculous isn't it there's just going to be utterly ridiculous things going on and I'm going to be watching it and I'm going to get angry and elsewhere in the country

there's going to be all these young kids watching it and going yay yeah and I'm going to be going you son of a bitch what are you doing why would he act like that? What's going on? Oh no, look at those special effects. Oh Jesus

Christ, that monster's ridiculous. And all the kids will be going, yay! Yay! This is the best TV show ever, mummy! Fuck off! Says J.K. Yay! The thing is... Are you lagging, or is, like...

I mean, is it your internet connection, or is it your brain? My brain's lagging. I'm not sure what's going on. I'd rather have a bowl of... See, the thing is You're going to enjoy Watching these Doctor Who Episodes with this guy

I predict that you're Going to enjoy them And you're going to Come onto vent And you're going to Complain about them Yeah Exactly

I'm going to enjoy Watching it That experience That like hour Of watching it And then immediately Afterwards I'm going to think

That was the biggest Pile of shit ever Even though during it I'm probably going to be Like clapping at the television You'll kid yay yay yay oh i love you dr leaves oh and then i'll turn off the telly and i'll go well that was fucking shite i'll just rant about it to people on the internet. I'll post on forums saying, you know, lol, what a joke, worst Doctor

ever. Except it's how British teenagers talk these days. So also, in the related, relatively related news, science kind of news, the Large Hadron Collider hasn't destroyed the world.

Breaking news. World's still here. Yeah. It was a load of bollocks about this whole thing. It's like, do you know what this reminds me of? It reminds me of the times before trains. And when people were getting on the first trains that would go above 50 miles per hour, people thought that if you rode,

if a human rode above 50 miles per hour, the human body wouldn't be able to take it and it would just collapse and implode and stuff. It's like people, first of all, didn't know whether humans would be able to go into space and go into zero gravity when they were sending up the first satellites because they thought that,

you know, it might not be possible, you know, with no gravity, you might not be able to swallow properly, or you might not be able to do all this stuff. You may not be able to swallow properly. They probably had buffet cars from the very start on those trains,

and people had a cup of tea in front of them, and they were just watching the world whiz by and they were worried that they wouldn't be able to swallow the tea somehow, like the g-force of moving no no no, that's the one, that's about space though, but you know, people were worried about it, and obviously they had to

send a few trains out you know, with brave sort of pilots, you know to test if you could go at 50 miles per hour successfully, you know. And I think there was a bit of sort of suggestion that it wasn't safe, you know, at the time. You know, people weren't supposed to go that fast. It's kind of like that, but modern version, you know.

Although physicists have shown that in all of these studies and examples that there's no chance of a black hole forming. Ignorant people like to cut and run with this kind of sensationalist stuff. Well, there's no chance

of a black hole just magically appearing. So I don't think there was any danger in any case well if people are fucking around with subatomic particles you can't really predict what the hell's going to happen if they knew what was going to happen they wouldn't have run the experiment in the first place because the whole point of running the experiment is to see what happens

well but even so like the sort of things they're doing are not measured to be sufficient to produce a stable black hole. Well, no, I mean, the issue is that there could be some sort of chain reaction started, and then a tiny, tiny microscopic black hole is formed, and then it just sucks in matter and just grows, and then the Earth is gone, and then the solar system's gone,

and then basically the whole universe is just a singularity. Which would be quite useful, because if you've ever had your dinner on your lap and sat down in front of the telly and then realised that the remote is on the other side of the room, if you're in a singularity, then that remote is actually part of you so you don't have to put your dinner somewhere get up walk over get the remote then turn the telly over but also the telly the dinner oh that is also already part of you yeah yeah the dinner's already in your stomach so you don't have to eat it. Your stomach is already there.

It's just all singularity. The telly's in your stomach as well, unfortunately. A bit like a telly tubby. Wow. Must be awkward for telly tubbies. Time for telly tubbies.

Time for telly tubbies. I mean, if you want to watch something on telly, say, you know, Doctor Who. You want to watch Doctor Who and you're a telly tubby. You can't watch it on yourself. You've got to get a friend, on telly, say, you know, Doctor Who. You want to watch Doctor Who and you're a telly tubby.

You can't watch it on yourself. You've got to get a friend, another telly tubby, to watch it on their belly. And it's just, you know, it's just inches above their groin. And you're staring at it for an hour. That's got to be a little bit awkward. So they have to, like, sit in front of you as well. And then they can watch what you've got on your telly. Yeah.

I guess the problem is with the sound. You know, if you've both got the sound on and you're not wearing headphones. I guess you have to plug a headphone jack. I don't know where the jack would be. Somewhere around the back. Yeah. So you've each got your headphones

plugged into the other person's Headphone jack You're sitting there In front of each other Watching Yeah staring down At each other's bellies Navel gazing

So one of you's watching like EastEnders And the other one's watching Bargain Hunt Oh It's a hard decision to make isn't it Which one would you watch EastEnders or Bargain Hunt?

I mean, that would just be a couple of Teletubbies. I mean, what if there's like, you know, seven or eight Teletubbies? How would it work in that situation? Would there be a chain? Or would one of them just volunteer? You're walking past it and it says, you know, widescreen television, you know,

we've got the match on today. And you walk in and it's just Teletubbies stapled to the wall. Just everywhere. Oh, I was thinking it would just be a really, really fat one. No, there's hundreds of these Teletubbies just all stuck up on walls. Are they dead, do you think? They're still alive, but they're in a lot of pain. They'd rather they were dead.

What kind of post-apocalyptic world have you just envisaged? It's alright if you're not a Teletubby. I mean, it's cool. I mean, there's tellies everywhere. Could you, like, surgically remove the telly from a Teletubby? No, no. It's part of the Teletubby. And if you kill the Teletubby, then the TV doesn of the Teletubby And if you kill

The Teletubby Then the TV Doesn't work So you've got to Keep him alive Right Barely alive Oh my god

You've got these Starving Teletubbies Where were we By the way I don't know Teletubbies I think What was before that I've no idea

It doesn't matter It doesn't matter Just forget it't matter. Just forget it. It's too late. Oh, your Large Hadron Collider, of course. Oh, right. Yeah. There's a really interesting scientific thing. What is the coldest place in the universe?

Your heart. No, it's actually somewhere on Earth. It's in a lab somewhere where they've reduced the temperature to a fraction of a Kelvin above absolute zero. Well, because space is actually

slightly warmer than absolute zero because it is just, you know, warmed by all the fusion that goes on sort of thing very slightly so we can actually go colder than that on earth using refrigeration where's the hottest place in the universe. It's cold, it's dark in there. There's no room for any love or warmth. Actually, what do you mean? I love you, man. I love a lot ofd Wood, who was in Dorian Gray. Dorian Gray?

Well, I guess, you know, I wasn't really taken by her, to be honest, Lewis. But then I think she reminded me of a cousin too much. Yeah, that can put you off if a girl looks like someone like that. Yeah. Hello! I'm Brian Bliss's wife and I listen to the Yoggpod!

Goodbye! Well, we can say that people did the videos for the Ogpod challenge, and we can announce the next challenge, which we have to come up with. So, because I like the idea of people filming themselves doing stupid shit. I mean, not dangerous stuff, just stuff that's a bit silly, you know? So we had a couple of really excellent videos sent in by people opening cans and getting sprayed,

which was pretty awesome. I love it. So thank you very much for those. I posted them on the site. You watch a 30-second video of someone doing something fairly odd, but benign, and you think, what the hell?

Yeah. I like the idea of people doing stuff in their gardens. Because I like looking at people's gardens. Okay. Well, people just film their gardens. The person who has the nicest garden... Maybe they could dig a hole or something?

Search for buried treasure. Search for buried treasure. You have to dig a hole. Because this is something I did as a kid right I was so excited I had

like a phase I went through a phase in my life for about a year when I would just dig holes everywhere and try and

find buried treasure I was convinced that just by digging holes in the garden if I dug deep enough I'd find

something valuable that's a bit odd so I want people to do that. So you want people to just dig up their parents' back gardens to try and find treasure. Well, if they ask their parents, they'll say, you know, Mum, is there any way you particularly want me, you know, you mind me digging a hole?

I don't know about this. It's a lot of effort for someone to go to. Digging a hole's hard work, Lewis. It's hard work. I'm not sure about... I mean, you've dug loads of holes. I'm sure you're aware of just how much work goes into the digging of a hole.

And also, what do you do with all the dirt and earth? I want people to search buried treasure. Dig up. You have to, like, dig a second hole to put the dirt into. No, you just put it back in the hole when you're finished. Then you dig a hole somewhere else.

What if you, like, start digging in your the hole and you're finished. Then you dig a hole somewhere else. What if you, like, start digging in your back garden and you find the body of, like, your old cat that died when he was six and you just start crying,

cradling this little horse? That's not going to happen, oh God. That would be horrible. I think, I'm not sure this is a good

idea. You're convinced that people's back gardens are going to be filled with skeletons of tiddles rather than any kind of gold idea. You're convinced that people's backyards are going to be filled with skeletons of tiddles rather than any kind of gold hoard. Well, I think it's much more likely they'll find a dead

household pet rather than buried pirate treasure. Yeah. I really think it's too much effort for people to go to. I mean, the whole Coke can thing is pretty easy. You've just got to have a can and just film yourself doing it And only two people have been bothered to do that

How many people do you think Are going to respond to Dig up your back garden And find treasure Well let's see I don't want massive footage of them doing it I just want pictures of what they might have found Or stories

If you've got a little brother maybe get him to do the digging yeah you throw him a shovel and you've got a shotgun trained on him and you just say dick he's crying he thinks he's digging a grave man you ask for the shovel back

when he's dug a big enough hole and he just... He just started filling in the hole and he stood in the bottom. Stop it! Stop it! He's buried up to his ankles. He just threw a fucking shovel full of dirt in his face. That's horrible.

Oh no. Oh. Hello, I'm Warwick Davis and I'm in a sewer but I still listen to the Yonk Pod. And what you can do is you can actually add like an echoey sound effect onto that.

Or just... Maybe some dripping water. So Or just the Maybe some dripping water So I think we've had a few people Who've given us donations this week Is that right Simon? Yes Some very lovely listeners Lovely listeners

Have been donating their hard earned monies Their pocket monies from their parents to us. So who's the executive producer for this week, then? We have a tie between two listeners. Jonas Soder, whose name I probably am not pronouncing correctly. Jonas Soder. Okay.

I don't know. And the other listener is called Michael Beck He's got a very lovely normal English name So thank you for that Michael Sorry Jonas Sorry I didn't mean that Thank you for having such a normal English name So how much did they donate?

They donated Should we talk about amounts? Because I don't know I think it's their personal business how much they donate. I don't know. I'm not comfortable with it. I'm not comfortable with us.

Well anyway, they're the executive producers for this week. They gave us £1000 each. And me and Lewis off to the Bahamas for a dirty week together. A dirty week drinking

Cuba Libras and being massaged by champagne flute tea. What are they called? Cabina Cabina Boys. Champagne flute tea.

Cabina Boys. What's that called by the way? Has it got some special like high class name? It's called Spackity. No, no, no. high-class name? It's called Spackety.

No, no, no, that's just too common. It has to be called, like, Tea a la Mauve, or something like that. Tea a la Spacker. Right. There we go. Okay. Tea a la Spacker.

So they're the executive producers this week. They will be adding their names onto the list. Thank you, Jonas, Soda, and Michael Beck. So what I do... You're going on our special list. Thank you, Jonas, Soda and Michael Beck. So what I do... You're going on our special list. When I've got like... I think we've also... Carlos.

Special people. Carlos is on the list because he was obviously the executive producer from before. So he obviously kept us going for about... From the first 25 episodes that we did. He kept us going for a few months. Single-handedly keeping us going. a few months single handedly

which is really nice so these people will obviously go on the list and occasionally we'll send out care packages to people who are on the list of gifts and stuff but it won't be for a little while so just so that you know don't expect anything

in the mail like tomorrow oh dear i was just thinking of what kind of things i could put in it you know i was obviously thinking that you know the basics like you know the jaffa cakes and raspberry jam milk that kind of stuff but i was thinking that it might not be possible to send like food abroad to like uh america and stuff they might they might not oh of course you can it's America and stuff they might not oh of course you can it's not a problem they might get like seized by American customs they might like open this package

that's like yogpod gift package and it'll be like don't have to perform a controlled explosion on a piece of chapsticks what the fuck yeah no but What the fuck Yeah No but

Goodness me So anyway We'll sort stuff out So it'll be cool And obviously The thing is These people who are executive producers Will stay

On the producer list In the future And They'll get exclusive stuff So in like a year's time Or something They'll still get Stuff producer list in the future and they'll get exclusive stuff. So in like a year's time or something, they'll still get stuff. It's like lifetime membership to the Yacht Pod Club. Exclusive club.

What the hell? I'm not sure we should be that committed. It's not quite that bad. But obviously what they can do is they can put it on their CV that they're an executive producer of a popular internet podcast And it sounds like they're actually Doing more than they really are

Yeah well that's all that executive producers do If you look at like films and TV and stuff The executive producer just puts money towards it They don't actually Are actually involved So yeah you can put that down guys So you can sign that after your name Like Mark what's his name

michael michael belt michael bay michael no the guy who executive producer for this show what jonas soda oh michael michael beck and jonas jonas soda and he can say jonas after his name he can have he can have EP Yodpod just get some business cards made and have that on there oh dear

that's a bit odd though Because obviously what happened was Two people donated the exact same amount of money £40 exactly I think we have to say it It's going to be worth it though I'll pay you back don't worry We'll get £40 as the Jaffa Cakes through the door

So if one of them had donated One P more That's the key to it People have to donate numbers That aren't rounded An unround number As they're called So people will be

An unround number I've got two Whole A levels in mathematics I know Another weird thing another weird thing, another weird thing, Simon, is that these people were not necessarily English,

so how did, if they donated like 10 euros or whatever, how did that get converted into pounds? That's a bloody good question. That's a bloody good question. I've got no idea.

Anyway, they're the executive producers, so thank you guys, and we'll sort stuff out, I promise. Thank you. So I want to say a massive thank you to everyone else who donated as well. Who were they? Ryan Calhoun, again, who donated. What?

Carlos Larios, Alex Beer, Joris Vigilar magnificent name Sean Cameron and Grant Lawrence thank you very much guys thank you thank you

you're keeping us going you're keeping us trucking you're keeping us on the track on track in a truck thank you going full steam ahead You're keeping us on the track. On track, in a truck. Thank you. Going full steam ahead. Okay.

That's a boat. I wonder how you're going to edit this long, rambling fucking discussion about executive producers into like two minutes of tight audio. I don't know. I usually manage to do it, man. It's fine. You're a miracle miracle when it comes to editing audio you're not going to say that after you've heard this podcast it's full of crap i'm gonna go oh dear lord that's what i'm gonna do and a big thank you to little dave yognort from chiswick who donated a kidney to us thanks a lot d, Dave. We're sure to get a few thousand for that.

So is there anything you want to say? I mean, Warwick, let us know if you see Warwick. We need to find him. Simon's worried. He's not come home for his dinner. We're still looking for him. Brian Blessed, if you see him around, say hi. He'll say hello, I'm sure.

He might pop in. Is he still around here,on's he gone home he's in the area so you know he's not in your house anymore though he's he's left has he he's not in my house no he's a guest yeah he's just popped in like and left come over to stay why not couldn't you put not living here i don't live with brian blessing maybe he's got a family oh yeah of course he has he's's not going to leave his wife for me. I mean, God knows I've begged and I've pleaded.

You could bring her in. I think you wouldn't be able to stand it though. You'd just go deaf. Who the God? Where are you? That's how he speaks apparently. He does. I can't really do a good impression of him. That was okay. It wasn't great. It was okay. No of him That was okay It wasn't great

It was okay No it wasn't It wasn't as good as the real thing No Which is on this Podcast If you just let this podcast keep playing It will go back and repeat itself

It will loop And you'll be able to hear It will loop Hear the podcast You know what you should do You should end the podcast With the beginning of the podcast To really fuck up people So they don't know what's going on

How does this one even start I guess we don't know yet Because it has been edited I think it starts with me saying something like So How are you doing, Simon? That's how they usually start. Hello.

I'm doing quite well, Lewis. You're listening to Time Becomes a Loop. Time Becomes a Loop. Time Becomes a Loop. Time Becomes a Loop. Thank you for listening. I love you.

Goodbye. Thank you for listening, everyone. Thank you for listening I love you goodbye thank you for listening everyone thank you for your donations thank you for supporting us thank you for all your pictures goodbye thank you I love you did you see the ones of your eye yeah what the fuck is that all about

you bastard the challenge is to dig in up the garden. You've already talked about it. Yeah, I think it's in there somewhere. I'll have to edit it in somewhere. We have to offer some sort of incentive for people to dig up their garden and film it and put it on YouTube. Hannah will take off her top if you don't send us in anything.

Hey-oh-ho!