Triforce! - YoGPoD 30b: Simon, Simon, come and drink the tea of the Inca people

Episode Date: May 5, 2010

The concluding part of our Special 30-Year Anniversary Election 2010 Special Exclusive YoGPoD. Featuring Simon discussing how he would host a dinner party in Come Dine With Me, and details of Simon's Babysitting Company. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Please play responsibly. And now, the conclusion. Hello and welcome to TTTT. York Pond, York Pond, York Pond Hello Simon Hello Lewis So it's Saturday afternoon, 5 o'clock in the evening, lovely sunny day, first day of summer What have you been doing all day Simon? I've just kind of been satting around mostly. I've been watching Come Dine With Me.

Um, just a bit of it. Oh, goodness me. What? Don't you like Come Dine With Me? People won't know what that is either.

It's a TV show in which people host dinner parties and they vote on each other's like, hospitality and food and

the winner gets £1,000 of english money wow it's a good show i like it thing is i like the drama when it kicks off it's all sort of very artificial drama i mean they deliberately choose people who wouldn't necessarily get along with each other just to spark the drama and people are always horribly picky of each other would you like to be on it? I would love to be on it yes. Because I know you've been cooking

pies and things for James like a good house husband I've been cooking pies for James yeah. He comes home from work and I'm like I made you a pie dear oh god did you hear that kid outside? Yeah!

Fucking hell. That's not your kid. That's Ewan James' child. It's Simon Jr. He's running about. I've had him hidden. Yeah. Get back in the fucking cupboard under the stairs, Simon Jr.

Can we talk to him? Can we talk to Simon Jr.? Mummy, no! Poor Simon Jr. in the fucking cupboard under the stairs Simon Junior can we talk to him can we talk to Simon Junior mummy no poor Simon Junior where is he bring him up here what no I want to talk with him

I want to talk with him you can't he's busy playing with the other children in the residential area no I just want you to do the child voice

do the child the child voice no not that that's the creepy children that that's the creepy children voice that's the creepy girl from how are you hello

I'm a little bit worried because I do have my window wide open and anyone outside will be able to hear things that I say yeah I mean the Brian Blessed thing earlier I mean when we had Anyone outside will be able to hear things that I say. Yeah. Do you... I mean, the Brian Blessed thing earlier. I mean, when we had Brian Blessed and interviewed him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

James could hear him downstairs. Right. And he... I came downstairs and he sort of looked at me. And I was like, could you hear... And he said, yeah, yeah, yeah. I could hear Brian Blessed up there. Yeah.

Sorry, so going back to Come Dine With Me, like, I mean, you could cook a nice little meal, a little hosted meal with broccoli and stuff in it. I'm not really sure what I would do. What would you do? The thing is, on Come Dine With Me, it tends to be these people. These people, like, cook things that they've never cooked before

It's like oh I've never cooked this before But I thought I'd do it specially It's like well no don't do that Do something you've done before that you're good at You know Yeah but what if all they do is make Macaroni cheese and ham sandwiches What if you know

They can't do anything else You can't serve that at a dinner party can you Everyone has a bit of a speciality though You know like I can't do anything else. You can't serve that at a dinner party, can you? Everyone has a bit of a speciality, though. You know, like, I do a really good roast chicken, where I, like, put a lemon in it, and then put it in, like, a bag, like an oven bag, with mushrooms, carrots, all sorts of, like, vegetables and stuff. Christ, he's cooking with with Hannah except it's cooking with

Lewis do you not have any like recipes that you instead of Thai fish in a bag

you've got a fucking chicken and a whole lemon and a bag of mushrooms just thrown

into this fucking Tesco carrier bag that you just pop in the oven and then you do some like

you know mash with it or something something like that have you not got a trademark

dish Simon's special I don't know you know, mash with it or something. Something like that. Have you not got a trademark dish? Simon's special? I don't know, really. It's probably just curry or something. That's what I'm fairly good at making, I guess. But that's not really fair because it's just like... How do you make that? Well, the thing is, I cook some chicken

and then I cook some mushrooms and onions and then I put it in a big pot, and then I add curry sauce that's on offer from Asda for a pound. Right, yeah. You know? I mean, that's not really... Do you have, like, a cocktail? What sort of cocktail would you make as, like, a Simon cocktail? Pimms. Goes very well with curry.

I suppose so. My nan has like cucumber and apple and stuff with curry and banana. Cucumber, apple and banana? It's a very old school curry. You know? Well, actually in the curry. No, in like a side dish. So you have like yoghurt, cucumber, apple, banana

and you add it into the... and like sultanas, you know? Have you not... Is this what people used to do? It's like an English curry. No, this sounds a bit fucked up. What do you mean? It's nice, but kind of slightly weird. So instead of using meat, you just add fruit?

A fruit curry? No, no, you have the whole curry, but the apple, banana, raisins and stuff are like a side... It's like yoghurt and mango chutney that sort of stuff you know it's all like like additions right yeah okay

I get you mango chutney mango chutney yoghurt with poppadoms that's how I remember it pop yeah

have you ever tried to make poppadoms um oddly enough no no I haven't no just bear in mind there are different things to make

the last three days I've lived off of sandwiches and a really, really bad microwave meal that I had last night. Why is that? Because James isn't here and I can't be asked to cook. Oh. I'm all alone. He's left me. He's abandoned me. I'm home alone.

Like that kid in that movie. Dude, you should go out and get some nice curry or something. With Simon Jr. obviously. Simon Jr. is hanging around. I don't feed him things like curry. Or any real food. I just... I feed him coal.

And wood shavings. What? Yeah. It gives him everything that he needs. It gives him all the nutrients that he needs. That's all a growing lad needs. Is he like a robot? No, he's a human

child. But he eats however he is. Coal. He's the fruit of my loins. Where do you source your coal from, by the

way, since it's not 1950 anymore? Wales. Welsh coal, yeah. Only their finest. Real stuff. It's the good shit. You know, I don't give them the craps kind.

Is it? It is. That's the only thing I can say in a Welsh accent. Are you trying to do a French accent or something? What? Welsh? Is it? I don't even know what that is.

What is that? Where on earth were we? I'd still want to talk to Simon Jr. Is he around? Oh, look. He's here now. He's climbed the stairs. Have you unlocked his cupboard?

I've unlocked his cupboard. Why are you mistreating your child so bad? I'm not mistreating him. What are you talking about? Can I talk to him? You're criticising how I'm raising my son. I'm like social services. I'm just checking up on you, that's all.

Alright. Hello. Hello there. Who's that there? It's Lewis here. What's going on? I'm a friend of your father's. Where's mummy?

Or is it your mother? Where's mummy? Is your mother near you? Where's mummy? That's enough for now. Where's his mother? Are you his mother or his father? We need to get this clear.

I got confused. Do you need me to explain it again? Yeah. Oh, God. Here we go. When a man and a woman love each other... Oh, no, not that. I mean your relationship status.

Oh. Basically, I am not that. I mean your relationship status. Oh. Basically, I am his father. Okay. And his mother. Oh. I... When I was young, I had both sets of genitalia and I impregnated myself and he is the result

of that act of self-love. So, hang on. He's basically a clone. He's a clone of you. Is that what you're sayinglove. So hang on. He's basically a clone. He's a clone of you. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, pretty much. So he's like the mini me. He's like mini me.

Yeah, exactly. I'm an old man and I've fallen over. I can't get up but it's alright because I've fallen over. I can't get up. But it's alright. Because I've got my iPod. And I'm listening to the Yacht Pod.

Oh, be back. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. That was pretty funny. That was pretty funny. That was very funny. So, have you done any exercise recently? Do you really... In sports?

You really have to ask that. I've been doing a bit of walking to the shops. What the hell is that? How dodgy. How dodgy did that sound? That's er, that's Simone Junior. Where's my mummy? I can't really hear it very clearly. It's just children playing clearly just children playing outside are nice is crazy so it's on on those horrible

it was the whole hot warming we what is this what is it like easter holidays make you want to have to be a man you're like of the age to be a father Oh god what I think you are too aren't you No you're more You're getting past it They seem like they're having a lot of fun then

What are they doing Actually There's something I've been meaning to say Oh yeah I'm I run my own babysitting service and uh from home

finally you've announced what your job is to the world at large I was ashamed but I now realise there's nothing to be ashamed of it's an honourable job absolutely man it's a noble job, and it's very important.

What's the name of this company? Simon's Babysitting Company. Right. It's not even service, it's company. Do you have a van with sweets written on it, scrawled in black

paint? Yeah, and I just pick up... See, the parents don't actually know that I'm babysitting. It's like a surprise. Yeah, a surprise. When they find out. They're so relieved to see that their children are okay. What kind of things do you do with the children

While they're in your care We play a bit of Han Heroes of New Earth Are they any good Nah they're all terrible at it But I'm pretty bad at it too Simone's getting excited Because she's playing the Valkyrie

And that's her favourite character Oh yeah I like the way Joan's getting excited because she's playing the Valkyrie. That's her favourite character. Oh, yeah. Okay. I like the way you don't do any kind of physical activity with them. Sadly, you can be a player playing on with them. And then I send them outside to play. They've got their headsets on. Oh, man. That's pretty funny. All these kids with their headsets on. They... Oh, man.

That's pretty funny. All these kids with their headsets on. Oh, bless them. So, yeah. Actually, one of the things you sort of skipped over was going back, like, quite a way. We were talking about, like, speciality foods and drinks. Yeah.

You never answered my question. What my speciality is? I mean, if you like... Pimms. With pimms, I guess it's pimms. Yeah, so I did give you the answer. But is it not anything... You just weren't paying attention, Lewis.

Well... As per usual, roll my eyes into my head. Yeah, you didn't give me the answer. So you should ask me, like, that question, or some of the questions that we've had asked. And stop me prompting you into all these directions. What, now? You want me to ask now? Okay, uh... We should really...

We have to have a... Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. We have to... Stop it. What? I thought you wanted me to ask the question. Listen for a second. Give me a second. If you were making cocktail, what cocktail would you make? There we go.

So anyway, I was thinking that I'd probably make something with... I'd probably use, like, tomato juice. And make, like... Right. No tomatoes, just the juice. Tomato juice. Yeah just the juice. Tomato juice. Tomatoes. Yeah, tomato juice.

Like V8, that vegetable drink. Oh, that's pretty horrible, that stuff. You just make... No, more like a sort of a Bloody Mary thing, but something a bit more... very thick. If I'm going to make like a cocktail, I'd usually like use some sort of fruit,

so I'd use like mango juice or something that makes it very translucent is that right? No, opaque translucent you can see through you want it thick and translucent yeah opaque so like a gloopy kind of really thick

thicky sort of fruity like an aperitif aperitif isn't that like a starter? Aperitif. But, I mean, that's not really... It's not refreshing,

and it'll fill people up. People will be, like, full from your big, fruity, juicy cocktail. I suppose yours is a bit more high class, isn't it? You could serve it in little, you know, fluted glasses and have a strawberry floating in it. Yeah, My cocktail party and dinner party is going to be

so high class. We're going to have champagne flutes and we're going to drink tea out of it. Sorry. Is that going to be the starter? PG tips. Are you going to have the tea bag in the champagne flute? I'm going to leave

the tea bag in the champagne flute or are you going to... I'm going to leave the tea bag in the tea and just hand them... In the champagne flute. And I'm just going to hand it over to them and say that I'll just give them some bullshit about I went to Inca and I travelled around, I spoke to a wise

man. Which means you went to Inca. Inca. I went to Inca. It's a place. It's not a real place Lewis it's not a place it's an ancient civilization that no longer exists it's a place Inca it's a place I've been there I spent I spent my summer there I went to Inca it's a shop in the high street stop criticizing it's like banana republic I went to Inca. There's a shop in the high street. Stop criticizing. It's like Banana Republic. So I went to Banana Republic.

Fucking hell. Yeah, so I went to Banana Republic, and there was this old man, this really old man. And he was so old. His wrinkles had wrinkles. His skin was dark brown, like leather. And he handed me this drink, and he said to me, Simon, Simon, you drink. You drink of the tea of the Inca people. Oh, goodness me.

What did she say? After I... After I was done laughing, I took the tea that he proffered me, and it was a champagne flute it was like the finest crystal glass

and in it there was tea with the tea bag left in and um I drank the tea Simon your drink

what the fuck was that I had to think up an Inca that was amazing I don't even know where Inca is. It's not a real place. It's not a real place, first of all.

The shop. Oh my goodness. So you... Oh dear. What else did this ancient sage... What other wisdom did he impart upon you? He wasn't a wise man. He was just some old dude

whose house I was staying in. He wasn't like a witch doctor or, you know, like a sage or a prophet or anything. He was just some old dude. Did he not have any, you know, wisdom? He did. He said to me, Simon, Simon,

when you go out back and use toilets, careful not to fall in a hole. Right. Wise words. And that was good advice, because I did almost fall in at one point. It's a fine way to drink tea, though. And people think, you know, when you're posh, you drink tea out of, like, a china cup. That's not right at all. It's a misconception.

You actually drink it out of a champagne flask. Isn't there something dodgy about putting boiling hot liquid in a glass? Can't it, like, shatter it or something? That's what I sort of... I'm not quite sure why it might shatter. That's why the water has to be cold. Oh, so it's like iced tea? No, not iced tea.

It's just like room temperature tea. Very strong because the tea bag's been left in it. So it's sort of stewed, tepid tea in a champagne flute. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And it's got no sugar in it. It's got no milk in it. And it's got a tea bag floating in it.

It's probably really high in antioxidants. That's probably why they live for so long, the Incans. Does the teabag have a string on it? Or is it just a bare teabag floating, bobbing on the top? Because you can imagine it would take up the top of the champagne fluid. So when people tried to drink it they'd have the tea bag constantly like rubbing against their upper lip yeah i mean that can happen it's certainly a risk drinking tea this way um so that's your first course basically you'll come dine with me

yeah that's my first course all of that conversation That's what they get as they enter So what's next? What's the next course? You've obviously gone around Your son, Simon Jr. Has probably gone around holding A glass tray And he's got the champagne flutes

Yeah And he serves them to your guests The outfit he's wearing It's just made out of cardboard though Because I I'm too cheap to actually buy Like a miniature sized waiter outfit It's covered

Coloured in with felted pen Yeah That's exactly it Yeah So you So you've got some Some Some roasted peanuts

For your hors d'oeuvre Yeah I've got some cheesy watsits And then they all come in Cheesyuvre. Yeah. I've got some cheesy watsits. And then they all come in. Cheesy watsits, nice. I've got the dips. The dips are Nutella, Marmite,

and peanut butter. Mmm. So you've got some crudites. I think they're pronounced crudite, aren't they? They're like... Crudites. They're like sticks of celery

and stuff, aren't they? Well, I don't have celery. Carrots. Or carrot. And pepper. I don't have Celery Or carrot And Pepper I don't have pepper either It's

It's What do you have Potato And Because It's chips Because raw potato isn't Chips

Because raw potato isn't that nice A plate of chips I fried them Raw potato isn't nice. I fried them. Raw potato isn't nice, so I fried them. Yeah. I'm liking this. McCain does some very good

crudites. So we've had a nice high-class cup of tea. Some crudites, some hors d'oeuvres. And then we're going to go on to the starter. So we've all sat... Where are we sitting? Oh, fucking hell.

How many fucking courses are there? Do you watch Combine with me? You know it's like this. Where's the... Where do we all sit around in your... We sit on the sofa bed in the living room. With the red wine stain on it. I might put a throw over it.

So I guess you've got some... I don't actually have any throws. I could put a t-shirt over it. I could put my Superman hoodie over it. Is it big enough? No. Who am I talking to? Whoa!

Easy, tiger! Sorry, friend. You know. Easily big enough. So there's about four of us there. Me, Hannah, Lelna, obviously, as well. We've come round. We've had this lovely appetiser.

Now we're sitting on your sofa. You're all sitting very, very close to each other because it's quite a small sofa. Right. So you're all squeezed in together, knees touching. You look a little bit awkward. It's a bit uncomfortable being that close. That's okay. For these people.

That you've never met. Yeah. So the starter is going to be soup. Okay. Because that's a traditional starter. How are you going to serve it? It's going to be some... in a bowl. Right. How are we going to... With some bread. How are we going to negotiate this? It's going to be some... In a bowl? Right. How are we going to... With some bread.

How are we going to negotiate this when we're on the sofa? I'm going to bring in the bowls and put them on your laps. And then give you a spoon. A dessert spoon. Because I confuse dessert spoons and soup spoons. So you'll have a dessert spoon and you'll drink the soup. And it'll be lovely. What kind of soup is it?

Oxo. What do you mean, Oxo? You mean Oxtail? Oxo, no, Oxo. Oxo soup. Oxo are a brand of... They do little cubes. Oxo are a brand of chicken stock cubes.

Yeah, it's chicken soup. You do these little cubes and you crumble them up and then you add hot water and you've got, like, chicken soup. It's amazing. That's chicken stock. That's not chicken soup. I have it, like, almost every day for lunch. That's chicken stock. What do you mean?

That's not chicken soup. It's soup. It tastes of chicken and it's wet. It's, like, broth. It's fucking chicken soup. What else could it be? It's, like, barely... Yeah, it's delicious.

Add it to rice and stuff if you want to give rice a bit of flavour. Oh, I know what, I could put some pasta in the soup as well. Oh sure, go ahead. Put pasta in the chicken oxo. What kind of pasta? The little bow tie ones, I'll put a few of those in. Okay. I mean that is classy as fuck.

This has been brilliant. Now it's time for a bit of entertainment. Do you have any kind of entertainment laid on? I could do impressions for you. I'll stand in front of you and I'll do my famous impressions. Go on then, just give us a little rendition of what you might do in your normal act. Oh, God. Well, I would say I'd have a bit of banter With the audience Which would be

You know you Well let's just try it out Let's try it out I'll be the audience Woohoo Okay Hello It's good to see you

Glad So glad Why are you Why are you saying that As the audience Why would the audience Say that Oh sorry okay

Woohoo Yay Idiot Simon yay Okay I'm glad You could all come here To my dinner party Are you having a nice time?

Yes, it's great Yay It's good to hear It's good to hear I've got some special entertainment planned for today I'm going to do an impression of anyone that you mention. Anyone at all. And just give me some names.

Give me some names. Indiana Jones. Well, Indiana Jones, okay. Indiana Jones. Right. Okay, I've just got to get into character. I ain't getting on no plane.

Brilliant. What does Indiana Jones say? Does he have any catchphrases? Help me out here. Snakes? Why did it have to be snakes? That's a classic one. Snake? Why it have to be snake? Okay. Um... Mario! Mamma mia! He's a spicy

meatball! Uh... Zoidberg from Futurama Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi Because he's like Jewish, he's a Jewish lobster man Lister from Red Dwarf You smackhead Rimmer Uh, Daniel Craig

The name is Bond, James Bond The Juggernaut I am the Juggernaut from X-Men. Chewbacca. Hello, I'm Chewbacca. Pleasant to meet you. Pearson. Pearson?

Yep. Um, hello, I'm Pearson. I'm on a boat. I don't know why he's on a boat Can we stop this please Can we stop this No we're going to keep going Until you say some funny ones

I'm a constipated old man Okay so all of your impressions are pretty much Mr T But that's fine That's fine They're very good I paid a fool So who What's next

In the main course Are we still sitting in the lounge Or are we going to move Move room for the main course We're going to stay in the lounge But we're going to move over to the dining table Directly behind the sofa bed We probably should have been on there

For the For the soup but I didn't really think. Yeah. The main course is curry, my famous curry. Oh, of course, your famous curry that you mentioned earlier. Yeah. I cook chicken in the oven. I bake it for some reason. I don't cut it up and fry it.

It would only take, like, five minutes, but I actually bake it. Really?'t cut it up and fry it, it would only take like five minutes. But I actually bake it. Really? You cook it in the oven? That's pretty interesting. And then I tear it apart with my teeth. Doesn't it sort of dry out? And I spit out the chicken into the curry mix that I've got.

I sometimes put raspberry jam in there too, because it just gives it a little sweet kick. It's a good idea. Good tip for anyone making a curry. It's true. It's true. I put raspberry jam in there.

Is that a real tip? I don't know. Yep. Really? You should do. It's really nice. Okay, I might try that. I sort of don't trust you, though.

I've learned, like, when you're... I wouldn't joke about curries. You know how serious I am about curries. I guess, you know, we're nearly finished. Is there any dessert? Yes. What would you do for dessert? Dessert is going to be... This is the best meal. Best bit.

This is the best bit. This is what the whole evening has been building towards. I thought so. I could tell. My souffle. Oh. Mmm. Wow. The patented Simon's souffle.

Okay. Made by... I've never cooked a souffle before. Simon's Souffle Company. But I thought I'd give it a try. Yeah, I've never... I don't even know what goes in a souffle. You don't even know what it is, do you?

I think it's like egg white and flour or something. I don't know. It's egg white and flour. So you... And you put it in a little bowl. Right. And then you put the bowl in the oven, and it rises if it's done properly.

And if it's not done properly, it doesn't rise. That's correct. Well, there's a bit of an art to it, isn't there? Because you mix it up a large amount, but not too much. It's an art form. It has to be light and fluffy. Like a sheep's belly. Delicious.

So I'm looking forward to that. That sounds amazing. It's going to be a good evening. It doesn't sound disgusting at all. What would we do? What would the entertainment be? I mean, afterwards, would we have a game of poker? Or Star Wars Stratego?

No, no, no Don't be silly Just watch some telly Watch Hollyoaks, you know We'd play a bit of Han Of course we would Everyone's brought their laptops And we create an ad hoc LAN.

So we go into separate rooms. Four heads, it's on. You're in the toilet. What? And occasionally I'll come in. I won't make eye contact with you. And I'll just, like, start pissing without saying a word.

Through my legs. And you'll... Yeah. Oh my god. What the hell? That is fucked up. And yours... Yeah. Oh, my God. What the hell? That is fucked up. That is fucked up. Jesus Christ.

I won't be paying any attention, because I'll be so concentrating on, like, you know, the towers are going down and stuff. Pwning noobs. Oh, dear. And maybe later on, I'll get out a little... Like, a paddling pool. An inflatable paddling pool.

And I'll fill it with jelly. And I'll just stare at Hannah. Okay. And then like nod, nod my head towards the paddling pool. The paddling pool with jelly. I won't say anything. Yeah. I'll just imply that something is required.

I'll just be subtle. I'll just like take my shirt off and make my nipples dance. Goodness me. Anyway, so I've had a lovely evening and I'm leaving in the taxi and now what's going to happen is they're going to interview me and say, you know,

and they're going to ask me questions and I'll answer, like, what I thought I had to raise. Oh my God, this is my favourite bit of the programme. I love this bit. Yeah. They're driving home in the taxi, so they say, I'll answer like Oh my god This is my best This is my favourite Bit of the programme I love this bit Yeah They're driving home In the taxi So they say

Oh well I thought it was I mean I didn't really like The soup The soup was A bit sort of rancid It tasted

It tasted like Simon's socks The curry was lovely though He did so nice With the curry And the little boy When he performed On the recorder Was Was the little boy, when he performed on the recorder,

was the highlight of the evening, really, for me. So I'm going to give him four. Whoa! Four? Yeah, man, four. You piece of shit. Well, the jelly paddling pool

for it wasn't really to my taste you know I'm a bit more high class I like the tea the tea in the

champagne flute was a master stroke that was good the 5p naan bread was very good with the curry

enjoyed the naan bread put in the toaster. Yeah. That's nice. That was a nice touch. And, uh... Four?

Yeah. That's really harsh, man. I mean, that is such a bad score. That's below average, that four. Really? I don't think anyone ever gives each other ten, though,

do they? And nines are pretty damn rare. Yeah. Happens now and again, but... Also, shouldn't our scoring system be at 15? Hmm. It's the Yogscast way. 4 out of 15 is even worse. What's that?

Sounds like James Bond, but really bad. That's the Come Dine With Me music. Good. Well, that's the end of that. We'll just end it now. So, let's talk about the executive producers and stuff. end of that. We'll just end it now. Let's talk about the executive producers and stuff. Hello.

I am Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth II. And this York pod is by royal appointment. Hello. Hello? Hello? Hello?

One fancy's a Jaffa cake. Wow. Mmm. Anyway, so that's the end of this highlights podcast. Highlights? I don't know. What are we calling it? You've watched the Bombay mix of the Yogpod.

I hope. You didn't watch it, you listened to it even. Your ears watched it. Your ears watched us and drank us in. And hopefully you didn't spit too much of us out. Hopefully your tummy isn't going to feel funny. So yeah. hopefully your tummy isn't going to feel funny so yeah next time we're actually going to have a

a D&D podcast because we did a bit of D&D oh yes and we've also got another podcast coming out soon which we haven't even started recording yet so we'll talk a bit more about our day out when we met rick davis and stuff so that's to look forward to such a nice day

such a lovely day it was a it was a wonderful day who is the executive producer uh for this week's show by the way um it's a very good question lew Lewis I'll just go and check Our executive producer For this week Is Magnus Tenman From Norway Okay He donated a

Substantial amount, a nice amount of money We're keeping that private though No we are saying Are we? Oh 25 quid A substantial amount, a nice amount of money. We're keeping that private, though, the amount. No, we are saying. Are we? Are we? Oh, 25 quid. 25 quid.

Nice. He sounds like a strong man, doesn't he? Magnus Tenman. The strength of Tenman. He sent a lovely email. I think he has the heart of Tenman. Magnus Tenman. Yeah, that is a good name.

He said he wants to support our work. He hopes the donations are of value to us. He finds our stuff funny. He likes our sense of humour. Since your reviews are pretty rubbish, I guess the humour is what makes me love it so much, he says. So that's a little bit of a... What's it called? A double-edged sword of a compliment. OK. I don't know. I don't even know if that's a little bit of a what's it called? A double-edged sword of a compliment.

I don't know. I don't even know if that's a phrase. Marcus Tenman sounds like the kind of man who would wield a double-edged sword. Magnus. Magnus Tenman! He sounds like a... I love that name! He sounds like a Viking hero. He's the best

Magnus Tenman executive producer. He has a YouTube channel He's the best! Magnus Tenman! Executive Producer! He has a YouTube channel, Cream4UX. Cream4UX. Which no one's going to look at now, are they? No. But he does his own videos. Alright, alright, that's enough.

A video of a Congo rush I love him I think he's a lovely man Because he donated us money And he's going to get a special care package Thank you Magnus Thank you Magnus Tenman And thank you for your lovely email

Don't swear Lewis I love you Magnus Thank you Magnus He's from Hordaland Good okay Hordaland Well that's it for now Hope you enjoyed this show

And stuff And god brilliant Thank you Magnus you made it possible Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye

Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye

Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye

Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye

Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye

Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye

Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye

Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye

Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye

Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye

Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye

Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye If you died, you didn't make it through to the end. The tank killed you. Oh, no. Left for dead. So, shit, I realised, by the way, that it's election night coming up, and we haven't actually talked about the UK election in any way, shape or form. So it might be good to just, you know,

hear who you, you know, think you're going to vote for Oh god Because some yognauts obviously look to us for guidance I don't know if this is going to be out in time Might be Maybe we could just glue this on the end of the podcast Who do you think I mean what do you think

I think everyone should vote Liberal Democrat And fuck tactical voting. To be honest. Fuck it. It's not worth it. It's not worth you compromising your beliefs just to get someone in particular out of power.

It's just not worth it. It's ridiculous. It angers me that people feel they have to do that. Labour's shit not worth it. It's ridiculous. It angers me that people feel they have to do that. Labour's shit. Tories are shit. Lib Dem probably are going to be shit as well. But they're the lesser of three evils.

The classic party which I think your glots will be surprised to hear that you're not voting Monster Raving Loony. Which is obviously something which we... They just assume that because I'm a Monster Raving Loony, which is obviously something which we... They just assume that because I'm a Monster Raving Loony, I'll be voting Monster Raving Loony. Is that how it works?

Aren't you, like, actually a Member of Parliament for Monster Raving Loony? I am. Not under my real name, though. I like... I'm Dame Honeydew of Gnomeregan. But obviously, because you're a member of the Monster Ravage Loony Party, you're not going to vote for the Loony Party.

You're going to vote Lib Dem. Yeah, I can't vote for myself, Lewis. You can, actually. It's immoral to do that. Like, David Cameron gets a vote. Yeah, but it's immoral to do that. He can say, I'd like to vote for myself. It's bad sportsmanship, Lewis.

Is it? You know, you shouldn't vote for yourself. I suppose so. Yeah. Also, if Michelle Skortos is listening to the Yoggpod, I hate you. I hate you. She's going to overtake me on Island Paradise. She's going to have more XP. She's going to overtake me On Island Paradise

She's going to have more XP She's going to overtake me Is she a yognaut? I think so, yeah She's a member of the yogpod group Which I was made an admin of recently Yeah, you're just ruining the Facebook group Yeah, I don't know if anyone could

Pinpoint the exact time That I was made made admin of that group I'm going to post the Monster Raving Loony Party manifesto on the Facebook group so people can have a look Alright, that'll do I just thought I had to add in something to do with the election

on the end of the podcast Yeah, because we often do political coverage, don't we? We cover the current affairs, the big news of the day. I mean, for fuck's sake, all we usually talk about is fucking Tina Barrett, who hasn't done anything in, like, ten years, and Warwick Davis, who also hadn't done anything in ten years,

but is now, thanks to being flushed down the loo some kind of major fucking celebrity again it's like we're I said before it's like we're not cursed we're the opposite we're like booned we have the boon of the yog pod

if we mention someone they're made famous apart from Tina Barrett whose career is still languishing in obscurity yeah, but one day she's's gonna get this enormous record deal and just get catapulted into the limelight. Yeah. It's gonna be us. I'm sure that's gonna happen.

It's gonna happen because of us, man.