TRIGGERnometry - 2025: The Year of the Moron

Starting point is 00:00:00 Some follow the noise. Bloomberg follows the money, whether it's the funds fueling AI or crypto's trillion dollar swings. There's a money side to every story. Get the money side of the story. Subscribe now at Bloomberg.com. Well, KK, 2025 is nearly over and it's been another fun-packed year of war, destruction, geopolitical instability, and politicians still not knowing what a woman is. Do you know a woman have a penis? Yes.

Starting point is 00:00:38 Come on, Zach, we all know what a woman is. It's someone who takes what could be a five-minute story and tells it in 20. The old jokes really are the best, but this has been the year where the Middle East became the focal point of everyone's attention. So just like every year then? That's right. The United States and Israel conducted a 12-day war with Iran to prevent them from getting a nuclear weapon. The official title for the military attack was Operation Rising Lion. Coincidentally also stormy Daniel's nickname for Donald Trump. Trump fired his big rocket into Iran's mountains.

Starting point is 00:01:12 The jokes really do right themselves at this point. And significantly damaged Iran's nuclear facilities. The attack was successful despite resistance within MAGA. Tucker Carlson claimed it would be the beginning of World War III. It wasn't. So he had no choice but to go back to interviewing the great intellectuals of our time. Candace Owens, Nick Fuentes and Milionopolis, a psychopath and narcissistic, narcissist and a clost at homosexual. And that's just Nick Fuentes. All that actually happened was the Iranians responded by doing what they do best, screeching about infidels firing missiles at Israel

Starting point is 00:01:46 and eventually capitulating and signing a ceasefire. That, of course, wasn't the only peace deal. Donald Trump helped to broker a historic ceasefire agreement between Hamas and Israel securing the return of the hostages. The only thing quieter than Hamas's guns at this point were the Hollywood celebrities who suddenly had no interest in talking about Palestine. Many have argued that Trump deserves a Nobel Peace Prize, and who could disagree? Who else could have got Javier baddam to shut up and take off that ridiculous kaffir? All the Hollywood actors went back to their usual talking points, wisely staying in the realm of fiction, like movies, TV shows, and the climate crisis.

Starting point is 00:02:23 Because when you've got nothing better to talk about and the career needs a boost, you can always talk about how the world is going to explode into a giant ball of fire. It's not all bad. If that happened, we wouldn't have to hear Hollywood lecture us about it. It. 2025 was also the year of ceasefires. India and Pakistan had a short war before signing one. In fact, we have some exclusive footage of that conflict. Fucking you, bloody. Fuck you bloody. Bostard beach. You, fuck you, fuck you.

Starting point is 00:02:48 The conflict, like every war, was dreadful. But apparently the food was excellent, which is good news for Pierce Morgan, who does love a good curry. Trump is now trying to negotiate a ceasefire between Russia and Ukraine. He's apparently got his best guy on the case since Steve Wittkoff. Sorting this conflict is proving much trickier for Steve, as he still doesn't know exactly where Ukraine is. All he does know is it's been a long war, Putin's a top lad, and it's all Zelensky's fault. We could talk about Kirstama, but honestly, what's the point?

Starting point is 00:03:18 Not even his own mother finds Kirstama interesting. Kirstama is so boring that his house got firebombed by a bunch of Ukrainian rent boys, and everyone just shrugged their shoulders and went, oh well, what's for dinner? He's so tedious he makes Liz Truss appear charismatic and competent. And whilst we're on the subject of British female politicians, can you all please stop crying? It's embarrassing. To be fair, it's just the left-wing ones. And look, we're used to left-wing men crying in public.

Starting point is 00:03:46 That's their hobby. But get it together, ladies. Please stop doing it. You're making Jeremy Corbyn's new political party look stable. And they can't even launch a mailing list without it turning into a struggle session. Whatever you say about Zaira Sultana, when she appropriated your party's funds, did she apologize? Did she start crying? No. She nicked the money and doubled down like a good northerner.

Starting point is 00:04:08 She's the only MP who can claim to be anti-capitalist whilst running the most successful one-woman startup in Westminster. Because we know that the only way to defeat transphobia, racism and capitalism is having 600 grand that doesn't belong to you in your bank account. Hence, your party finally landing on the new slogan, for the money, not for you. Yes, it's been a spicy time politically. In September, hundreds of thousands of frustrated,

Starting point is 00:04:33 pent up English men gathered in central London to blow off some steam. Indeed, it was a record turnout for Bonnie Blue. Speaking of adult entertainment, Kier Starmer finally blocked all the naughty websites, which might be a good thing as pornography was getting so extreme. I mean, everywhere you look at stepdaughter this, stepdaughter that. It's good to see Woody Allen back directing again. On top of this, we had a new scandal come to light. Migrants were apparently going to their local parks and capturing and eating all the swans.

Starting point is 00:05:01 Despite the public outcry, the BBC tried to be more inclusive and launched their new cooking competition, the Great British Lakers. And that sums up 2025. Across the globe, it was the story of wars, bloodshed and ceasefires, whilst in the UK, it was crying left-wing politicians, open borders and a big bonfire. Otherwise known as the British economy. But don't worry, the Bank of England have set up a link on their website where you can buy them a coffee.

Starting point is 00:05:28 See you in 2026, folks. This episode sponsored by Forkful. Most meal delivery services promise healthy food, but look closer, and you'll often find cheap industrial seed oils hiding in the ingredients. Forkful does things differently. Forkful delivers chef-prepared meals made with premium ingredients you'd expect at a great restaurant, from center-cut filet mignon to wild-caught lobster mac and cheese. And every meal is 100% seed oil-free. Instead of canola or soybean oil, Forkful chefs cook with extra virgin olive oil, avocado oil, and grass-fed butter, because better fats make better food. Meals arrive fresh, never frozen, with clear nutrition and ingredient transparency, so you always know exactly what you're eating.

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TRIGGERnometry - 2025: The Year of the Moron

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