TRIGGERnometry - Jay Leno - Comedy, Cars & Stories From My Life

Episode Date: November 15, 2023

Jay Leno is an American television host, writer and comedian. After doing stand-up comedy for years, he hosted NBC's The Tonight Show from 1992 until 2014. From 2014 to 2022, he hosted Jay Leno's Garage, and since 2021, has hosted the revival of You Bet Your Life. Leno writes a regular column in Popular Mechanics showcasing his car collection and giving automotive advice. He also writes occasional "Motormouth" articles for The Sunday Times. SPONSOR: Try Verso’s incredible longevity products and get 15% off by using code TRIGGER at VER.SO Verso Scientific References: 1. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnut.2022.868640/full 2. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35844164/ 3. https://www.mdpi.com/2079-7737/10/6/456 SPONSORED BY: EasyDNS - domain name registrar provider and web host. Use special code: TRIGGERED for 50% off when you visit https://easydns.com/triggered/ Become a Premium Member to receive exclusive benefits https://triggernometry.supercast.com/ OR Support TRIGGERnometry Here: Bitcoin: bc1qm6vvhduc6s3rvy8u76sllmrfpynfv94qw8p8d5 Music by: Music by: Xentric | [e-mail] | https://www.xentricapc.com/ YouTube:  @xentricapc   Buy Merch Here: https://www.triggerpod.co.uk/shop/ Advertise on TRIGGERnometry: [e-mail] Join the Mailing List: https://www.triggerpod.co.uk/sign-up/ Find TRIGGERnometry on Social Media:  https://twitter.com/triggerpod https://www.facebook.com/triggerpod/ https://www.instagram.com/triggerpod/ About TRIGGERnometry:  Stand-up comedians Konstantin Kisin (@konstantinkisin) and Francis Foster (@francisjfoster) make sense of politics, economics, free speech, AI, drug policy and WW3 with the help of presidential advisors, renowned economists, award-winning journalists, controversial writers, leading scientists and notorious comedians. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Get started today at IPVanish.com slash audio and take control of your privacy with IPVANFANF. Based on what you're saying, you sound like a really nice guy, Jay. Hey, fuck you. Billy the bouncer stabbed them in the leg with a knife, and the guy's bleeding, so they gave him 20 bucks, put him in a cab, you sent him up. Okay.

The world you're describing, particularly from the early days, is so different to the world that we have now. Yeah, it is different, but I mean, that's, is it progress? I don't know. A rape joke has the same career penalty as an actual rape. That doesn't seem fair. Hey guys, trigonometry needs your help. We took a big risk creating the show

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We'll have exclusive bonus interviews that only you get to hear. Click the link on the podcast description or find the link on your podcast listening app to join us. Support us and help change the way we have conversations and make the world saner. Jay, thank you so much for coming on the show. Well, thanks having me. As everyone can tell, you're a fan of cars. We'll get to that.

Yeah. We'll get to that. But before that, look, I remember growing up and your show was so well established. You were hugely popular. But people of my generation and younger wouldn't have followed your journey from the beginning. So we always love to get people at you to tell us your story. How did you get into comedy and stand up and all of that? Well, I grew up in a rural area.

I was born in New York City and New York, rather. When I was nine, we moved to Andover, Massachusetts. It's about 30 miles north of Boston, kind of rural area. So the idea of going into show business, you know, my mother is from Scotland. And to the day she died, she never understood what I did, you know. I can remember I had my aunt Nettie, a Scottish name. And I heard my mother on the phone. Obviously, my aunt said, what's Jay doing now?

And she said, well, he has a little skit that he puts on from town to town. And I'm going, Mom, I don't, like I stand in Town Square and I sort of do a dance. There's no conception of, I mean, there's a kind of place where people go, Kathy's boy wants to be a comedian. Oh, oh, it just didn't seem like a viable profession. You know, you come to Los Angeles and you meet nine-year-old kids who want to be lighting directors because their dad is or their uncle is, so they're all in the business. But growing up in a small town, you worked at the sneaker factory or you worked at the plant

or you were a teacher or something like that nature. The idea of growing your show business really did not seem like a viable alternative. And how did you end up going into? I mean, that must be quite... Well, I went to school in Boston, and Boston had thousands of students with no money willing to be entertained

by people with no talent. The colleges, they put a candle in the cafeteria, it would become the two-toe cafe. And this was the late 60s, early 70s, and it was a pretty serious time, it was mostly focusing, stop your war machine, man. And they would have a flashlight under their chin,

it would be dark, and they'd be dark, stop your war machine, and they'd run over there, stop your war machine, and it's like this sort of alternative experimental. So the idea of doing stand-up didn't really even seem like, what?

It was not something people thought was a viable alternative. Then George Carlin started to come in and then Robert Clinton. Because, see, prior to that, most comedians, and I imagine the same thing in England, were men in their 40s or 50s, grew up during either the war or in America during the Depression,

times are rough, kids with the line, oh, they're so long to pants are through them tight, these hippies, all that kind. And then suddenly had this younger generation talking about things that I understood. You know, I remember George Carlin's Class Clown album. That sort of what igniting me. I remember hearing it,

and I would recite it, not on stage. and then to get into it, I would put my own stories at the end. I would do his routine just to get the rhythm in my bedroom or something, and then I'd put my own story. And so the first time I got on stage, I was standing back stage doing Georgian, and I tried to time it when I walked out. Oh, well, here's what happened to me when I was in school. And that sort of worked.

It worked pretty good. So there's a whole generation Richard Pryor. You know, but nobody's better than we called him Richie back. then, but I used to try and go on. I remember back in the 70s, I think Richard Pryor was the first guy to do a comedy stand-up movie. It was Richard Pryor live at the Sunset Strip. And for about two months, he would come to the comedy store to break in the material. And killer, nobody funnier than Richard. It's unbelievable. And I remember saying to Mitzie, who owned it was, can I go on after Richard every night, you know? And nobody wants to. And nobody wants to, you know,

to do it because you just died. But I realized I did not have an hour's worth of material. I had about 12 minutes because after following Richie and you go on, but it was good training because they just threw out everything that wasn't funny. You know, comics are inherently pretty lazy. Well, you know, that joke worked back in the 80s. Yeah, but it's not the 80s. You can't.

You people, how old are you talking about, you know? I remember seeing a comedian not that long ago. You know, as the thing about Nixon and the paper, the other day. And I go, first of all, Nixon was not in the paper the other day. I don't believe you as an audience member. And you're doing, I'm not a crook and all that. No one even knows which you're talking. Nobody knows who Richard Nixon is. I mean, but that's what happens in your comic. You just sort of, you just keep doing it thinking, well, it did work once, you know. It's like guys that have a bad pickup line. They got laid once with it in the 90s.

And they've been saying the line ever since. You know. It's interesting that you say that. You do, it's so interesting because comedians are like that. Oh, no, mate. That joke worked three months ago. You go, yeah, it worked once. Right, right. Doesn't mean it's going to work again.

And you're talking about Richard Pryor. For people of our generation, he's a legendary figure. What was it, what was he like as a person? What was it like working with him and watching him perform? Well, he was a great comic. Moody, some days, it was Richard. sometime, Mr. Pryor. And you realize, oh, okay, he's serious now.

Okay, hey, Ms. Brent. And then 10 minutes later, you're fine. You know, just odd. Did a lot of drugs. A lot of drugs, you know. And, you know, he grew up in a whorehouse in Peoria, Illinois. I think it's an aunt or somebody ran the brothel. So, you know, just witness to a lot of things

in extremely young age that we were in. inappropriate or just outright wrong. So you cut him some slack. But really funny. I mean, to the point where it was so natural. And, you know, he was the first guy to use terms like the motherfuckers, you know, and I remember Cosby would yell at him, you know, Cosby, the moral equivalent. Stop using the F word, stop using it.

But for Richard, you never felt like he was using it. tourist. Yeah. It was a vernacular. He was talking as a character. And it was always just really funny to watch, you know. Oh, he had just, I remember some of the, you know,

about two black guys at the urinal, you know, and the stand in the diurnal, you know. One guy says, his water's cold. Yeah, and deep too. You know, just those kind of jokes, you know, just like, and yeah, I mean, he was, he was really, he's really good. Yeah. It was

It was really enjoyed to watch him work because it wasn't set up punchline. Yeah. It wasn't. A guy goes into a bar. It wasn't that. He was always telling a story and playing a character. And that's what really made it work. Yeah.

What were those days like in the comedy store in the 70s and the 80s? Wonderful. Because to me, you know, it's so funny. Whenever there was a series about it, I'm dying up here, and the drugs and the depression. To me, it was a joyous time because I never met another comedian. I was fortunate. When I started in New England and Boston, didn't have comedy clubs.

I worked strip clubs. So I never knew how bad I was because people were always yelling or throwing stuff at you. You know, so if I got to laugh at all, I thought that was great. It wasn't until I, there was a club called Lenny's on the Turnpike, which is a great name. But it was a jazz club. And I got to open from Miles Davis. and Stan Gets and Moes Allison and Amon Jamal and Rassan and Roland Kirk

and I would get, please go on community, Jay Leno, I'd walk on stage and they were there to listen because they're jazz people. I never had an audience that listened before. It was always, you're talking up to Steve. I remember the first time I got on stage the first time, Jay Leno, and the guy goes,

we hate him, you suck! I don't think, did they see me come in? How can they hate me? Well, of course they didn't see me. It wasn't based on anything. It was just a rough joint. That's what it was. So work in that jazz club, it really made me appreciate the audiences

and the economy of words trying to get to a joke as quickly as possible without a lot of... You know, I think the reason comedians like to talk to other comedians is when you talk to regular people, go to the other. Right? So I goes to him, right? So, like, she goes back to me. What do you mean goes, me?

You mean, she... They trip over the... Yeah, they're tripping all themselves, you know? Comedians get to the point, so it makes it a fun. conversation. And Jay, you talk about starting out working strip clubs. People who haven't done stand-up don't know. I mean, I've never played a strip club in my life, thankfully, but even, you know, I've been similar situations. That's a horrible experience as a comedian. No, it's a great experience. You enjoyed it? Well, I enjoyed it because there's nothing worse than

silence. And if they're not paying attention, it's not your fault. Yeah. You know, you're up there, Okay, maybe you throw out an ad lib and get a laugh. Hey, shut the fuck up. Oh, okay, that wasn't really funny, but okay, I got a laugh. You know, so it was sort of comforting because it wasn't my fault. Well, I used to go into bars and I put a $50 bill on the bar and I would save the buck, can I go, okay, it's $50. If I do bad and people leave, keep the $50.

If I do good and they laugh, give me the $50 back. Okay. That costs you about $500. But it also would say. a couple of times they'd say, yeah, come back on Wednesday. We got a, what they used to call them, a hoot-nanny night.

It was some folks there were. Yeah, come back. You can have to say, oh, okay. And that sort of led into it. So I was a bit fortunate, you know, when you come to Los Angeles, I would meet new comedians, and they'd walk into the comedy store of the improv,

and Robin Williams on stage, and Jerry Seinfeld, David Letterman, and they'd go, man, and they would just be so intimidated they couldn't even go on. The places I work, The audiences are terrible. The acts were terrible. So I really didn't fail. I was that bad. It wasn't until I came here and went, whoa, I got to get my act together. These guys are really good, you know. So it was actually rather comforting.

IP vanish protects every device you own, your phone, your laptop, your smart TV. If it connects to the internet, it should be protected. IP vanish encrypts your connection and masks your IP address, helping keep your browsing private at home and on public Wi-Fi. And with no device limits, one account. covers everything. Stream with added privacy. Browse securely. Connect with confidence. Right now, save 83% off the two-year plan. Get started today at IPvanish.com slash audio and take control of your privacy with IP vanish. That's such an interesting point. I guess where I was going with it, it does take, you know, a lot of determination to come into a place and, you know, I'll give you $50 to be able to perform. What was it that drove you to do that? Why did you have that tenacity to to keep going when, you know, you're not crushing it.

You're not in front of lots of people. You're not making money, et cetera. I'm a huge believer in low self-esteem. I think it's the key to success. If you don't think you're the smartest person in the room, you listen, you know. And I realize there's nothing else I really enjoyed doing. I'm dyslexic, so I was a terrible student. And I enjoy talking to people and telling stories.

And to your friend, you know, you're the class clown. school, all that kind of stuff. And you would get laughs. It seemed like I figured I would do it until I just had to get a real job. Because no matter how bad it was, it was not as bad as not doing it. You know what I mean? Because you're on stage. The lights are on you. Oh, I worked the awful place. I worked one place where the guy said, the beachcomer in a Vier, Massachusetts. He said, when you come, just wear your old clothes. I go, I want to dress up with it. Just wear your own clothes. Why? Okay, well, because the guy, they would smoke the cigarettes down, and then they flick them on, you know.

So I'm on stage once, and I hear the audience laughing when I'm not, like, and my jacket's on fire, because the guy flicked a cigarette. I had a wool suit on, and it started smoking, you know. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, I might tell you a funny story. I was at a place, a great place in Boston, just a tough place. And I'm on stage and some guys being seated, you know, and they seat them right next to a pole.

Because I can't see. Just shut up and watch the show. Everything okay? I was okay, Ms. Lennel, worry about. And then I hear, what was that? And people laugh. They dragged this guy out.

And I come off stage and say, what was that? They said, oh, the guy was hassling about a seat. Why'd he scream? Billy, the bouncer, had stabbed them the leg with a knife and just cut them up, you know. And the guy's bleeding. So they gave him 20 bucks, put him in a cab, you sent him on, okay? Okay, so fine.

Those were the days, man. Yeah. So then, like, a month later, I get a call from the club. They go, hey, Jay, let's say, remember Billy, the bouncer, the guy that helped you? What do you really helped? Remember there? It was a heckler, and Billy stabbed him. I go, well, that didn't really help me.

Well, what's the problem? He goes, and this is my favorite. He said, well, he killed the guy. now the cops are hassling him. And I actually said to the clubbite, I said, well, you think the cops would go after real criminals? And the clubbing goes, yeah, exactly, exactly.

And it just, it just made me, I mean, that's what you were dealing with. And it was, it's just very odd, very funny, just curious, working with strippers. I loved it because I was a kid, I was 19. And most of these strippers, it's not like now, most of these strippers were women that

didn't type weren't in the secretarial pool and they were in a lot of a lot of them were in their 40s and I used to work with these two women, Lily Pagan and I need a man that was their name

and we would drive out to army bases and they would set up like a giant champagne glass and nails in their mouths put it together fill it with water and take a bath and it when I told Joe is okay

But I was like a son to them, right? And they'd have the big, they had their head shaved, but they wear wigs, you know. But I mean, big, strong women, you know. So I'm on stage running. She's in the bathtub doing this, right? And the guy's heckling me. I mean, really, just yelling me. She just gets out of the tub going, though.

Booms and breaks the guy's nose. Blood all over the place. She's down. She gets back in the tub. She's watching the blood. The crowd is cheering. And I'm just, I'm just. I mean, that's what it was.

It was a great life. My friends are working at Wendy's and McDonald's covered in peanut oil. I'm working with strippers at 19. I mean, I loved it. It was a lot of fun. And again, you don't realize how bad you are. You don't realize if you're a good comedian or bad comedian. First of all, you have to learn how to talk in front of a crowd and get a stage presence.

To have that and the jokes at the same time is pretty rare. So the fact that I was able to get stage time. tell young comedians, you know, your church, your synagogue, your pub, if there's like a karaoke night, see you can emcee it. That way you don't have to be a professional comedian. You're just on state. You say something funny. Oh, good. Say something else. Oh, that's funny. Okay. As soon as you don't get allowed, okay, let's bring on the next day, you know what I mean, just to get that stage time. And that's what was great. So I love that era. I mean, just, you know, once you punch that guy in the face. And she was a big one. Just boom, just decked this guy. And oh, his friends are all

laughed. His nose was smashed. There's blood all over the place. Horace. Yeah, that's a hell of a microaggression right there. Yeah, exactly. But Jay, you also had a few brushes with the mob, didn't you, when you were doing those gigs? Yeah. I mean, you know, you know, the real trick is you don't fall for the trap. You know, I remember where I was a place called Catcher Rising Star. which is in New York, and he got the real New York crowd, right? And I come off stage, I'm in the bar, and this guy, it looks like somebody from the godfather, he goes, you're a funny kid, he puts $100 in my breast pocket.

This was 40, 50 years ago, when $100 a thousand dollars. And I said, no, no, no, no, give it to the church or something. They go, no, no, no, no. And I didn't take it. And he goes, you know, you're smart. You don't take money from people like me. You're a smart kid, and he goes, never bothered me again. And you realize that's kind of how these things work, you know.

I know some people in show business, they want to hang out with thugs. They want to think they live in the gangster life. Hey, we pick up this thing at the airport for me? Well, just go pick it up. You know, and then, of course, they get arrested or whatever. I mean, you fall into the trap. But I realized by not taking out $100, nobody ever bothered me again. Yeah.

All right. Yeah, it's interesting that you say that, because you look at people like Sinatra and then later on rappers, they made that mistake. Yeah. Some get through it. Some don't. But yeah, yeah, it doesn't seem like a smart way to go, no.

No, absolutely not. So how did you segue into TV? Was it via the comedy store in L.A.? Well, TV was always looking for comedians, especially in the 70s and 80s. Stand-up comedy, not so much now on TV, but back then it was a staple of, any talk show, and there were afternoon talk shows or evening talk show,

and have a comedian you could do five to seven minutes. Oh, that was the best. So they would come see you, and you would audition, you know. That's another part of the business I liked a lot, because you always got more work from other comedians than you ever got from an agent or manager. You know, the idea that's always this cut-throat business, and I always see that portrayed that way.

I mean, Steve Martin brought Johnny Carson in to see me, Harvey Corn, I brought Johnny in to see me a couple of times. I brought Johnny in to see Ellen DeGeneres once I got a little bit of faint. I mean, you can't do every job every day, every place. So there's really enough work for everybody. You know, every pub in the country has a karaoke night or a comedy night or something. So there's plenty of gigs to do. And comedians always helped one another way.

I lived in Boston, which was odd because most comedians were in New York. So my place was at where comedians would stay. comedians would stay when they came to Boston. I just decided, hey, to go to Boston, call this guy, Jay Leno, you stay at this place. Okay. And that's how I got to know Billy Crystal and Freddie Prince and all kinds of comedians. Because Freddy Prince, I mean, that was a, I mean, when you saw the documentary about the comedy store, I wasn't aware of him. I was only aware of his son because of the same generation. But you forget what a, what an incredible comedian he was. He was very good. He was a young kid. He was 17, 18 when he started.

But it was a classic, couldn't handle the fame thing, you know. I mean, rather sad. And he didn't kill himself. Ultimately, it was deemed an accident. But he had a, you know, Freddie would like put a bullet in the gun and say to go, I'm going to go tell myself, bang, fire in the sand, and then pretend to be dead. And then she'd scream. And, you know, just weird, you know.

And one time there was a bullet in the gun. And that's when he killed himself. That's when he died. I mean, that's why. I think happened that ultimately that's what the insurance company they believe ruled it. And Jay, you mentioned being able to handle fame. There are clearly some people who can and some people who can't. Do you have any thoughts on why it is that some people are able to take it in their stride

and others really struggle? Well, you know, it's a great thing about doing the Tonight Show because I could be around show business without living it, you know. You know, I love Charlie Sheen. Charlie Sheen, a friend of mine. I don't want to beat Charlie Sheen. So being part of Charlie Sheen said, you know, one day I'm, we had Charlie Sheen booked on the show, right? So the show is taping at 5 o'clock and can I go, boy, it's 4 o'clock Charlie here yet?

No. Then the phone on my desk for me, Jay, you got a phone call to Charlie, what? Jay, man, in the limo, we got T-bone. Are you all right? I'm okay. Okay, yeah, but, oh, man, they caught fire, the whole thing. You're all right, yeah, yeah, all right, yeah, all right, look, Charlie, don't worry about it. Well, I'll get a comment, get somebody to say, Charlie had an accent, you know, call a comedian, let's get somebody.

Okay. I got the news on. I don't hear anything about it, you know. So I go, let me call the driver, you know. Now it's like quarter to five. Hello. Joe? Yeah, it's Jay.

Yeah. Who are you? So I'm sitting outside Charlie Sheen's house. He hasn't come out yet. You didn't get T-boned in a limo? What? No. And I called Charlie.

I go, Charlie, what are you two? There's a monster under the... You don't think I'm going to check that you're in a limo or got teaboned and it caught fire? And that's what you... I mean, it was so stupid. You're not like, oh, I'm sick. Oh, okay.

But the idea of the limo and you got T-boned, it burst into flames, the police fire. Yeah, just hilarious. I mean, so that's what was fun about doing the show. I could live that life and enjoy it without having it affect me. Yeah. And, you know, I was thinking about this when we were coming here to interview. You've been married since 1980.

Right. You're not, you know, you don't drink or take drugs, is that right? Well, no, I'm sorry about that. You know, I just have no interest in it. It doesn't interest me. It's not like I'm on some moral high horse. Sure, no, no, no. It's just not my.

I was always, I'm a car guy, so I was always a designated driver. So losing my license would be the biggest fear of I like. You know, so consequently, I was the guy that drive all my drunk friends around. That's fine. And then roll them later and take their money. But, yeah, no. But, yeah. This is your addiction, basically.

Yeah, this is it here. Yeah. And how did you get into? cars? What was it? Well, you didn't grow up in New England. There were always broken snowmobiles. You know, in America, you could buy cars for $25 or $50. Cars that were really not that old, five or ten years old because there were just so many cars in America that there were cars would be abandoned in the field. It wouldn't take a lot to get them running. And that's what we did. You know, in those days, I remember we found a Renault for CV, which is a small, you know,

and we had three acres in a, we didn't live on a farm, but lived in a rural area. So we would drive around the back. I mean, now, of course, they call child services. The parents would go to prison and you can put in the foster home. But my mom would just watch out. We were like 11. My mom would watch through the kitchen window while she's doing ditches. And we would just drive the Renault around, you know, and we rolled it over a couple of times, stuff like that.

And so that's where it sort of comes. Plus, when you work with your hands, you tend to get more of appreciation how easy it is to talk. for a living, you know, the idea of the heart is healthy is when the head and the hands work together, that kind of thing. You know, so you work in it. And you go out and you stand on the stage. Oh, God, this is so much easier than taking a transmission out. Yeah, that's such a profound point.

I think that's part of the problem of our society, Jay. It's that very few of us work with our hands. We're all in our head. Right. And that's why we've come up with these crazy ideas or we get offended by things that we shouldn't get offended about. Yeah, I'm sorry with me. Because we're not connected.

to the reality anymore. I suppose that's true. Yeah. Yeah, I think there's a certain amount of truth to that. But again, like I said, it's low self-esteem. You don't think you're the smarter. I'm so fortunate to make the kind of money to afford all this stuff. You know, please, you know.

I don't think, oh, I'm really good. No. Because what are you doing on the truth? That's my favorite thing when I talk of young comedians. You know, I never ask people. I always take the job and ask what it pays later. Yeah. You know, like when I was doing the Tonight Show.

Now, at the time, I was a guest host. And there were maybe a half a dozen or more comedians that were also guest hosts. And I was the seventh guy out of the six. And those six are all represented by the same manager. And that manager called me and said, listen, we're going to Johnny Carson, and we're going to ask $25,000 a show to host. And I said, oh, okay, I'm getting $512 a show to host, which was scale. Yeah.

They said, no, we're getting it. And I said, yeah, we got it last week, so-and-so, he got it with so-and-so whenever they host. I said, you know, I'm going to stick with B-512. All right, you make a mistake? All right, look at it. Well, guess who gets named permanent guest host? I mean, Johnny owns the show. Okay.

Now, these guys, it's costing us $250,000 a month. The law costs us $2,500 a month. They all doing about the same? Yeah. Why we go with Lennon? Okay. And then the money comes later. You know, I always meet comedians that just, I'm not working for that kind of money.

What are you doing on a Tuesday? It's worth $5,000. Really, real. And that's all that's been my attitude about it, you know. If you're any good, the money will come later. Plus, there's a joy in doing it. I mean, the same show I do for a charity benefit of free is just as joyous to do as one it's paying you a lot of money in Vegas.

And sometimes it's more fun, you know, so if that makes any sense. That makes perfect. You really love the job. Yeah, I think it's great fun. I really like. I like the challenge of it. I like, but you know, you have to like people. I'm amazed at the number of comedians I meet that just don't like people.

I don't want to deal with those jerks, you know. No, I've not seen anybody after the show. No pictures. Well, somebody goes out of the way to pay, you know, a lot of money to come see you. Why would you not want to please thank you ever say hello? It's why I don't sell swag. I mean, oh, you should sell T-shirts and photos afterwards. You know, they got out of the way to buy a ticket.

I'm not going to hit, oh, it's another ten bucks to shake my hand. Thank you. You know, it just seems a little, yeah. Did you ever think you'd be here? No. No. I never thought I would be here. No, it's the most ridiculous thing in the world to me.

I mean, I suppose on some level I probably thought, wouldn't that be nice, but not in any real world. I mean, no, no, it never did. So that's why I am internally grateful, you know, because like I say, you know, when I got the night show, I hired the best writers I could find and the best lighting people, and I listened to them.

When they told me I sucked, okay, I guess I suck, so what in which we do to change? You know, I had the same crew for 22 years. I know so many comics that go through writers and they don't let the writer find. your voice, take a chance, you know. I never hired anybody for 13 weeks. I would hire them for a year because it would take nine months sometimes for them to go,

oh, I think, like I would say, just write down everything. Even though it's not a punchline, even if it's just a setup, a store that sells this, okay, maybe someone of us can come on. And that really worked out pretty good for me. Based on what you're saying, you sound like a really nice guy, Jay. Hey, fuck you. That will be the moment from this interview that everyone's going to love. Someone telling me to go fuck myself, go for it.

But it's a very powerful message because what you're talking about is humility. And you see, you know, in any field or any particular career, the moment people lose touch and they stop being humble. Right. That's the moment. Oh, yeah. You can trace it. I am so amazed at the just typical thing. the thing, and then the drugs.

You know, I always say behind every successful man there's a woman, behind every unsuccessful man, there are two women. And that's usually what happens. It just makes me laugh. You know, whether it's Justin Bieber or something, okay, then they go through the obligatory drug stage. And then, yeah, it's hilarious.

It just makes me laugh. Because how did you steer a path through that, though? How did you steer through? because you're very self-deprecate, you're very affable, you're a nice guy. But when everybody's telling you, hey, this is Jay Leno, you're a big shot, how do you stop yourself? Well, first of all, you don't have those people. When I travel, like I'm in Florida this weekend, I travel by myself. Because when you travel by yourself, funny things happen.

Funny things don't happen when you have somebody advanced team go ahead and clear everything out of the way. You know, I mean, it, and you. you have to find the humor in that, you know. The ideas you have, you know, I have a place in Rhode Island, and I was there the other day, and I always go to Joe's Pizza. Just a little place, those wingsy. Okay. So someone said, hey, you got to try this Nicholas pizza. All right. So I go to Nicholas, oh, there's a line. That must mean it's good. I go. Jay? Hey, it's Joe. What? You know, Joe's pizza? Hey, Joe, hang on. He goes, what are you doing here?

I go, so I just lie. I go, you know, I had a coupon. I figured I tried to use a coupon. And he says, coupon, we all agree we wouldn't use coupon. That's the son of a bitch using coupon. And now I go, wait, wait, hang on, hang on. Now I'm in this lie. I'm in this stupid lie.

You rather than just say, oh, I want to try another pizza. I'm trying to dig myself out of it. And finally I said, look, no, actually, I just want to eat. But that's what I mean. Those things don't happen when you have somebody get your pizza for you. Yeah. You know what I mean? I mean, that's sort of, that's really the fun part of it.

It's just you meet the oddest people, you know. Like I get, like when I go back to New England, which is a very quirky, I don't know what, I don't know what the equivalent would be in England, but I get what they call Boston compliments. This is an impossible. This is a real compliment again. I'm walking down Newby Street and this guy goes, hey, Jay Leno, my friend met you in California. He said, you're not an asshole. And I said, oh, well, thank you very much. And then he goes, no, really? He said, you weren't. I said, well, please don't thank you very much. And I realized that's as good as you're going to get. Yeah. You know, that, to his world, that was a compliment. And it just made me laugh. I wasn't offended by it.

But it's just funny. And nobody would say that to me if I had a finally. some bodyguards or people walking with me. If I hadn't been walking around myself, that wouldn't have happened. And I thought, well, that was a, that was, that just made me laugh. It just, it was so typical of New England, that quirky, Yankee kind of thing, you know. Yeah. I mean, Massachusetts, back in the 80s, they wanted to pass a mandatory seatbelt law. Well, it's against freedom.

And they were selling T-shirts that had a fake seatbelt on it. So when you're driving and a cop saw you, it looked like you were wearing. wearing a seatbelt. To go to all this trouble, I mean, that's the mentality that you're dealing with it, to show that you're for freedom, freedom to have your head go through the windshield. It all made me laugh. So, yeah, that's why I don't have people travel with me because the funny things don't happen in. By the way, that backhanded compliment, in England, that's a compliment. That's how we do it. You can't just praise somebody. You can't just say you're Right.

That's weird. I love the English thing of noble failures are somehow better than successes. Oh, it failed. Sorry, man. It's terrible. Come on, go ahead. You prick, you big successful. Yeah, very funny.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You hate success in the UK. You know. You notice that. I do notice it.

Stranger in a strange land is my favorite thing. I love watching immigrant comics come to America. Who is a comedian, a Chinese gentleman? He had a whole bit, I just watched him the other night about Americans, napkins, I need napkins. When they go to fast food phase, they take all the napkins. And I just, I said, why didn't I, why didn't I think of that? Because I'm an American, so it was second nature. But whenever I were like Russell Peters, same thing, very funny, the Americans' reaction to whatever it might be, the immigrant experience, it always makes me laugh.

Yeah, that is a really important thing for a comedian to have that outside eye. And also to like people, and that's what I got when I used to watch your show, is it was so obvious that you liked talking with people. Yeah, you know, and the whole political correctness thing was never really a problem for me because I don't, I mean, my attitude, I find when you have a crowd, they think is a crowd. They will side with the heckler unless you do something really clever. But for the most part, but whatever I actually. I would get hecklers. I remember sometimes I had just enormous fat guy. And I was making fun of his tie. And I could see he was waiting for the fat guy joke. I never did one. And then he got Ray, suddenly sat down again, you know, because he realized, I didn't go for the throw.

I didn't have to kill him. I just had to gently prod them a little bit. And, you know, when people sense you're not being cruel, and now the audience sides with you. You know, Working at audiences like working with an orchestra. You have to learn... You know, I remember when Hillary Clinton was running for president the last time, not this time. She was running against Jesse Jackson and all the other candidates. And I had a joke about each candidate. And the Jesse Jackson joke was not about him being black, but as a candidate.

The joke about Hillary Clinton wasn't because she was a woman, but because she was a candidate. But when I got to the Hillary Clinton joke, I'd hear this... this gutter old kind of guy laugh. And I think, oh, did I think I'm making fun of her because she's a woman running for president? And I see women would get sort of standoffish misinterpreting. So I just took the joke out because I didn't like where it went.

You know, it's like hearing a bad note in an orchestra. Just get rid of that note. Just take it out, you know. So you want to have to, to me, the best audience is one that's totally integrated. A lot of male, a lot of female, a lot of different minority people. It just keeps everybody honest. I mean, I'm sure you know it's a comic playing an all-male audience, that's the worst. Because unless you're doing sports jokes, they don't want to hear it, you know. The women keep the men in line, you know. And if you get the

women laughing, oh, no other men like you too because my date like you. So you have to learn to sort work the room, you know. It's sometimes you can, you know, win the battle but lose a war. And who are your favorite guests to talk to on your shows? Well, I always like politicians because, you know, when you're talking to Batman, it's not really Batman. It's a guy playing Batman, you know. I'm one of my favorite, yeah, I remember Hillary Clinton had the nomination locked up. The election was like 25, 30 weeks away. All of a sudden, this guy, Barack Obama, shows up and gives a speech and people are very impressed. So I said, let's call him.

So I call him up and say, hey, we'd love to have him on the time. Oh, thanks, Jake. He drives himself to the show. You know, he's got a jacket over his shoulder. He walks down to the judge. My name is Barack Hussein Obama, and I'm running from the President of the United States. I say, okay, a black guy from Chicago, his middle name is Hussein. Nobody ever heard of him.

You don't even need the campaign. I think you're just going to win right of it. And he thought that was the funniest thing. And we got to be friends, you know. So he gave me a cell phone number. Next time he was on the show, he was President of the United States. And this time, the whole parking lot was tinted for like two acres. So when presidential limousine came in from a satellite, you couldn't see where it went under the tent.

And it was the first time the president of the bill. And this is why you have the same stupid French you have when you were growing up. I was talking some of my high school buddies. I said, you know, when President Obama gave me a cell phone number. Let's call it. I said, I'm not going to call it. You don't have it. You don't have it.

Shut up. I'm not. Okay, now you're like in fourth grade. I said, no. I said, what? I said, okay. Okay, it's 12 o'clock. That's three o'clock back.

I see, what make it? Okay. I doubt it. I hear. Barack here. Ms. President? Yeah. Jay, what can I do for you?

Should I lose this number? Lose the number, Jay. Click. And he hangs up. And it was just like the funniest thing. It's the funniest thing. It just made me laugh. But again, the same stupid friends you had in high school.

Do you like talking to politicians? Well, I just like it because it's real. Yeah. You know, with a movie, you always have to do that. And you were good. The movie's awful. You were incredible in one scene. Sean Conner was one of my favorites.

Yeah. I like Sean because he was not James Bond. I mean, he was the tough son of a bitch. that guy. I mean, he had been a, did you know who his third runner up, missed the universe? Yes. Yes. Yeah. I mean, he was, and he would come into the tight show, hey, gee, what's the need of this filthy joke going about gee?

You know, and I tell him the joke, and he would laugh like a pirate. Like that, I mean, like the most hearty laugh. And you always hear the term, that's a knee slapper. He's the only guy ever saw actually slap his knee and do that. And he was the only guy when he came to the Tonight Show, because we had these little tiny dressing room. He was the only guy who would take a shower at the studio. And he would sing, oh, the Scotland, la, la, la, and the news, too, and hey, keep it down there.

It's not me, it's Sean Connery, you know? And Sean Conner would be singing in the shower. And he was just very funny, just very funny. He was a tough guy. Yeah. He was a tough guy. In fact, one time, did you ever hear of a guy named Johnny Stomponado? Johnny Stambanau was a gangster who was going out with Lana Turner.

Craig Ferguson told me this story. It's very funny. And Sean Carney had a small part in the movie. And she was sort of flirting with Sean because he's a handsome guy. Johnny Stoutanau pulls a gun on Sean Connery. He takes a gun and smash up the side of head. Don't bring a gun to me workplace. He puts all the bullets out and gives him back to the gun.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, just great. It's great. Yeah. Yeah, it's, in some ways, have we lost a little bit of that? You have lost a little bit of that. I mean, that's, you know, my mother from Scotland, the most conservative woman you could imagine. She's the only man, she, you know, you know, Jeannie, that's Sean Connery, that's a real man, Jimmy. I go, Ma, I don't want to hear it.

That's a real man, Jimmy. Ma, I don't want to hear, ma, you know. She never talked like that about anybody. But who was Sean Connery, you know. Do you have a website, or do you plan to have a website? because if you do, then EasyDNS is a company for you. EasyDNS is the perfect domain name registrar provider and web host for you. They have a track record of standing up for their clients,

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All you've got to do is go to EasyDNS.com forward slash triggered. That's easydns.com forward slash triggered. Use our promo code, which is also triggered, and get 50% off the initial purchase. Sign up for their newsletter, Access of Easy, which tells you everything you need to know about technology, privacy and censorship. I mean, the world you are describing, particularly from the early days, is so different to the world that we have now. Yeah, it is different.

But I mean, that's, is it progress? I don't know. You know, I mean, I don't know how you, you know, it's funny because everybody said, well, someday Big Brother, you know, it's going to be terrible. But nobody thinks Big Brother is watching Big Brother, you know what I mean? I mean, I remember, you remember the Rodney King thing? The incident, yeah. To me, that was the day newspapers died because that was the first time news went unfiltered

because when you saw the Rodney King thing on the news, they said six black men in a Hyundai were driving 150 miles an hour, which is impossible to Hyundai from that period. And they got pulled over by police and that, that's it, that, da, da, because in those days, you had a news editor who would look at film and go, boy, this is, this is explosive stuff. This is going to incite riots. Let's just make, you know, like, for example, in Boston, the woman was never raped. She was accosted. So that could be anything from a wolf whistle, somebody pinching your ass, you know.

It wasn't, you know, they just wouldn't use the term. So the Rodney King guy, he filmed it from his porch, and he sent it right to the Internet. And that was the first time, maybe not the very first time, but certainly unfiltered news, just one of the people. well, that's not what we just saw on the 11 o'clock news. I said these guys are speeding and all this other kind of stuff, you know. So we live in a world now. It's better because what used to be the law is now against the law, which is good.

But unfortunately, you just see all of it. I mean, the classic story is shock attack are up 100%. Okay, he had three last year. We had six this year. Or other than just say that, the new shock attack, 100%. Oh, my God, get the kids out of the pool. You know, people are worried. They get it out of the proof.

I know exactly what you mean. We get fed this stuff and we overreact in response to it. Exactly, exactly. So I think, see, I'm an optimist. I think things, I think what happens is the elite have come down a step or two, and everybody else has come up a level or two, which I think is great. I mean, you now have protections. You know, like when you watch the comedy Animal House,

is done in 79, there's a funny scene where they're in the fraternity and there's the Muslim kid and the Indian kid and everybody's just making fun, you know, which wouldn't happen today. And I suppose it was funny back then, but not if you're Indian or Muslim, you know, those kind of thing. Does it go a bit too far sometimes? Yeah, okay, but that's what happens with a pendulum. Sometimes it swings too far less, too far, right? But ultimately, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing.

And are you on social media? Do you use social media? No, I try not to. You know, I, I, someone said, you should send some of your jokes out. And I did it, and everything just got so misinterpreted. It just, you know, just people mad about things. I was telling him a story before. I was in a Chinese restaurant with my wife, small, family restaurant.

Mama's running the register in, like 12 tables. And the rest of the families are cooking in the back. Okay. I'm talking to my wife. And the woman, the older lady, is just bringing the audit. I said, man, this woman's really working our ass off. And since this is right near UCLA, the college, a female college student said, ah, she's a server. And I said, well, didn't she a woman first? I said, you know, I try to watch what I say. I didn't say waitress. I didn't say chick. I didn't say stewardess. and if I had said server, I would expect you to say she's a woman, because I'm defining her by her jaw. So isn't she a woman?

I didn't say girl. And she's, and it's their credit. She said, well, I guess you're right. I go, well, okay. But, I mean, you jump on me. First of all, I'm having a conversation with my wife, you know. And I said, I'm not mad or anything, but I just don't, I don't see your point. Why would you be a server before she's a woman?

And then eventually, yeah, but okay, no problem. But, I mean, that's the word. you live in now, people who are offended for somebody else. I'm not offended, but I know, you know. And I think it's so interesting you say you don't use social media because people misinterpret things. I think maybe that's why a lot of people feel like we live in a time where people are really easily offended or whatever,

because we all now live on social media where everyone is bitching and moaning and fighting about everything. Right, right, yeah. And realize one person has the power of 10,000 people. And if one person says you're a Nazi, well, now you have to defend yourself, which seems ridiculous. When there's no, you know, the number of people I mean that now believe we did not walk on the moon. All right. All right. I mean, it seems ridiculous, but that's the one. And what do you think about comedians getting into trouble for jokes and cancellations?

Do you think that's the pendulum going too far? Do you think that's a number of correction? Well, the idea of a rape joke has the same career penalty as an actual rape. That doesn't seem fair. You know, I mean, if you do a joke about rape, you're canceled, all your TV appearances are gone or whatever it might be. If you actually commit the crime, same penalty. So, I mean, I don't know what the answer is there. answer is there. I mean, you know, Louis C.K. I think is hilarious. Yep. What he did seemed odd to me. I mean, the idea. The guy's bragged, well, see that blonde over there with big boobs?

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Get started today at IPVanish.com and take control of your privacy with IPVanish. Like a legend. I don't see. That doesn't seem like something I would brag about. But, okay. But, I mean, was his crime the same as Harvey Weinstein? No, but the penalty is the same. So I don't know. I mean, I'm sure I'll get in trouble just for saying this.

Yeah. It's, we seem to be, this is my issue with it and see if you agree and push back if you don't. It seems to me that we're living in a world without nuance, where everything is either black or it's white. Well, yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's exactly true. That's exactly where it is. Like the lady with server, woman. Why are we even having this discussion now? You mentioned you're an optimist. Yeah. What are you excited about, Jay? What am I what?

Excited about. What am I excited about? Yeah. Oh. I mean, your show is crushing it on YouTube. I'm very jealous. Yeah, we're doing fine. I mean, I believe you're only as good as your last joke, really.

You know, you know, it's so funny. Like, I stopped doing political jokes because the people get so mad. They want to know the joke first before they laugh. Is this pro-Trump or anti-Trump? They want to know where you're coming from. So I'm trying to write jokes that are political, but without politicians. Let me try one of your two words. Later.

All right, this guy, he's like a young Barack Obama, charismatic speaker, a new guy in his party, pick Democrat or Republican or Tory or whatever. Okay. So he gets invited to the big presidential nomination convention in New York. And he flies, you know, walks in the matter square, got 30,000 people sold out. Eight o'clock, the vice president goes on. Crowd goes crazy.

Nine o'clock the president of the crowd goes crazy. Then the senator, then the mayor, then the police chief, and the postmaster general. And finally, guy looks at his watch. He's got a speech his hand. It's 1.30 at the morning. Place is completely empty. All 30,000 people are gone. He looks behind him sitting in the same row, four seats by a guy sitting like this watch.

He says, you know something? That guy stayed. That guy stayed. I'm going to go, I'm going to give my speech. Is it those 30,000 people are still here? Because that guy stayed. So, he goes, and we must move forward. And America must see there.

He talks about half an hour. He comes up and says, sir, can I ask you a question? What made you stay for my speech? Guy says, oh, I speak next. I mean, it's a political joke. And when I tell the audience, that's what I'm going to do. Then everybody laughs at it. Don't lose half the crowd.

Yeah. That's so interesting that that's the direction you're moving in and see if you agree with this. But when I watch late night comedy shows now, it feels like they've moved in the other direction. They're leaning into making a point about the other team. Well, you know, it's so funny. People say to me, well, I bet you regret leaving the Tonight Show not the Trump's president. Now, you know something? When you like people, it's so much easier to make fun of them. Yeah.

When you don't like them, and I don't like Trump, and not political. just morally unfit to the office. It's hard to keep your rage. Okay, now you're, okay, are you telling me this because of political reasons or because you think it's really funny? I mean, there's always, a joke should be pure. It should just be, just pure jokes, you know?

That's the great thing I was telling me about Rodney. Rodney Dangerfield, I were great friends. I know in 40 years, I have no idea as Republican or Democrat. He just had simple, my favorite show, He said, I went to my doctor. My doc said, I want a urine sample. I want a semen sample.

And I want a stool. Stool sample. So I gave my underpants. It's just a stupid joke. I mean, it's really funny. I mean, it's just pure, just, the joy is in the joke. I have no, I meet so many comments going, I just want people to understand how I feel about, I don't think anybody cares how I feel about an issue.

We're in the feelings age now, though, Jay. Everyone is putting all of themselves out there for everyone to see it. Yes, but not everybody, not as successful as Rodney was because it was just, Rodney worked both sides, just did jokes. I thank you. Here's a joke, thank you. You know, Rodney Dangerfield had an incredible story, because this is a guy who, when he started out, he failed at his job.

He failed, becoming a comedian, went away. came back? We know what it was because his face did not look like his act. Yeah, I remember, I've known Seinfeld for years, and Jerry and I are really good friends. And when Jerry's like 21 years old, he looks 14, and he had a joke about, you know, when you bring a hooker back to your apartment, I go, first of all, nobody believes you ever got a hooker. Nobody's just you go back to your brother. And we both laughed at because he looked so, he didn't look like what he was talking about.

Yeah. You know, so that's the thing. And Rodney, he started out as a comment. And he had a muse, name of Joe Ances. You ever heard this name? No. Okay. Joe Ances was one of those guys, the funniest guy of everybody, stayed fright to death.

So he would sit, he would do table comedy. He'd sit with Lenny Bruce and Rodney and all the guys. And he would just say stuff and guys, oh, can I, can I buy that? Can I have that joke? Can I have got that? And that's where he was. Like, I knew Rodney when Rodney didn't do no respect. like little bits.

He had a bit about, this kind of comedy has sort of fallen out, but he says, as your captain speaking, we're on flight so-and-so at TWA Airlines. Flying over the Grand Canyon right now,

look out the left side of the plane, you can see the remains of flight to 419 that crashed to six years ago. Bob, you were with me on that one, weren't you? I mean, that's when you, just so sort of character

and little pieces like that. And then I don't know if it came from Joe, But that whole thing about no respect and starting to look like his act, it really came out of that. I'll tell you a funny Rodney's story. My favorite thing was when I watched Rodney on with Johnny, and Johnny would be the straight man. Things are rough Rodney? Oh, okay, Jake, but last week, Johnny, I got to tell you, you know. And it was really cold.

How cold what? Oh, it was so cold. And just playing the straight man. So I dreamed of the day when I could do that with Rodney. So when I got this night, you'll never have Rodney on, things are rough, Rodney? Oh, Jay, I'll tell you, terrible, you know. So one day, about 2004 or five, now, Rodney's in his 80s, and a little shaky.

And I have him on the Tonight Show, and he's doing his act, you know, and he's a little off, you know, this gesture, I tell you, but the hand was like over, just a few little mistakes. Only another comic would notice it if you knew Rodney. So while he was doing this thing on the show,

I said to Debbie R.B.R. Bruce, I say, Call the paramedics. I think Rodney's having a stroke, you know? She goes, really? Yeah, just call him. Okay. So Rodney finished.

He says, now, Jay, how are you doing? I tell you, I'm okay today, but last week, you know, and he was fine. Okay. Then the show ends. Rodney's his dressing room. Now the paramedics show up. I said, Rodney, the paramedics take a look at it. I'm fine.

I'm fine. Well, he did have a stroke. And they took Rodney out in a stretcher. And a couple weeks later got worse. And his wife, Joan, called me. He said, Jay, Rodney's in the hospital again. So I drive out to the hospital and Rodney's lying there like this. Eyes are open.

And she says, the doctor says he can hear us, but he can't respond. So I'm telling him how much we love him, how great he was to all this young comics, letting us work, the Rodney Dangerville Nightclub in New York and how great he was to everybody. So his wife says, goes, Rodney, Jay, put your finger in Rodney's hand. She goes, Rodney, if you know it's Jay, try and squeeze his finger. So I put my finger in Rodney's hand, you know. And he and I said to him, Rodney, that's not my finger. And he did this.

He just moved for a second. And his wife said, he moved. And to get a laugh out of Rodney in that situation, it just really made me feel good. And Joan got it. We weren't being mean. It was just, he was a comic, you know. But, Rodney, that's not my finger. And he, nothing changed.

except he just did a Twitch. And he passed away probably a couple of days later. But, I mean, it was great to get that reaction for Rodney. I mean, it was a comic to Liant, you know. It's a beautiful story, Jay. Oh, it's wonderful story. He's a great guy. He's a great guy.

Beautiful story. We're going to ask you a couple of questions from our supporters in a second. But before we do, we'll end the main section of the interview of the same question, which is what's the one thing we're not talking about that we really should be? It's not my call. It's your call. The idea of, well, I feel that people have to know. I mean, as a society. That's my favorite thing is watching Jerry Springer.

I want everyone on national television to know about this guy. Well, nobody cares. Nobody cares. What's the one thing we all need to know? That's not my job. You know, there's nothing harder than writing a joke. I love it when I see comedies get TV shows where they're the inquisitive reporter. You know why?

Because that's easier than writing a joke. Everything's easier than writing a joke. It's the hardest thing in the world to actually sit down and write jokes. So they'll come up with any excuse. I always hated it when I would, like whenever I go on TV, I do stand-up. I don't come out and sit on the couch because people go, as a kid, I would go, oh, I wanted to see him do comedy, you know. No one is interesting.

What you do is interesting. or what you have to say is interesting and what you're singing, but really, there are very few people that are that interesting. So to me, you should bring something more to the party, you know? That makes any sense. All right, head on over to locals

where we ask Jay your questions. Kelly Francis says, oh my God, you must bring up the fact that Francis doesn't know how to drive. Oh. Oh, I wish I'd known that before he started this interview.