TRIGGERnometry - Laugh in a Time of Corona: Episode 3 | Scott Capurro and Julian Deane

Episode Date: April 3, 2020

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Hello, everybody. Welcome to episode three of Laugh in the time of Corona. We're here, as usual, with Francis, myself, and two brilliant guests tonight. Francis, do you want to introduce our guests for tonight? Absolutely. We've got two amazing guests for you that some of you might know. The first guest, we've got Mr. Scott Caporo. Hello, Scott. Hello, how are you? Very, very well. And Scott, you're going to bring a little bit of an international flavor to it as you were based in San Francisco at the moment, aren't you? right now I am. I'm in, well, not in quarantine, but it feels like in prison, but yes, we're here. Fantastic.

And our other brilliant guest today, it was meant to be Red Richardson. However, due to the fact that Redd is based in Devon, and unfortunately they haven't yet heard of the internet, he could no longer join our chat. However, we've got a fantastic guest here who we're going to book later on, but we brought him in.

It's Julian Dean. Hey, Julian. Hey, Julian. How you doing? Is COVID's down in Devon yet? No, mate. They don't even know what that is. Fair enough.

I was surprised to find out they had the internet, mate, to be honest. Hey, Blutski, this is our first comment for today. Welcome to episode three of Laugh and the time of Corona. More people are joining and saying hello. It's good to see you guys. I hope you're all well. We've got two brilliant guests for you.

One of them is just blown his nose. I don't know which one it was. I got a corona drip, but I'm sure it'll go away. I've heard that's a little bit contagious. I think they're old rona. And Ian Parker, hello and welcome to have you back. Junebug is here, as always. Welcome one, welcome all.

It's good to have you guys here. I hope you're all well. Francis, let's get cracking with the show. Absolutely. So the way we always start the show is we ask people how they are and how they've been spending their isolation. Well, I don't even know what it's called anymore. Is it self-isolation?

Is it isolation? I don't know. Scott will start off with you. How have you been spending your self-isolation in Fristow? I've been self-violating as often as possible with all this time on my hands and loom. So my husband and I are taking advantage of the time to get to know each other a little bit more, which is a bad choice. And then I knew enough about him already, but apparently there's more. And we've been desperately hunting for food. We went out yesterday looking for cleaning products because I'm a double sage. And he found somehow Cadbury chocolate eggs and bought about 80 of them.

He's shoving them in right now, his mouth, in the other room. And we're going to go for a drive later. It's very pretty here in Stich's going quiet. There's parking. And if anywhere is open, serving coffee, for example, the people doing it are nice. So it's like the city of my childhood. It's as if other than this experience right now,

it's as if the internet never happened, which is amazing. It's going back to sort of a working class, needy, sort of desolate. desperate, demanding town. I like it. I mean, in a way, I'll miss Corona. The worst thing about it is that it's going to come to an end. And then we'll go back to how we were before, you know, how we were before. So this is good. Sort of, although the deaths, that's a bad thing. Well done for pulling it back at the end there. Just clarifying your position on the whole everybody fucking dying thing. I want to be a nurse from now on because they can cut line. It's like the red sea parts When the nurses come into the market

It's amazing Every gets out of their way That's the next job I think after this Well we've got a couple of comments Scott while you were talking White Blotters sent us a super chat Thank you for the two bucks

Says keep up the good work fellas Call me Mickey says Loving Scott from Santa Barbara A long time no sea And a bunch of people were saying Hi beauties I assume they must be talking to Scott Just based on what I'm looking at

In this four person view here But- Sorry, Julian. I usually make jokes at Francis expense. You were collateral damage in that particular observation, mate. It's a straight white male. They're all collateral damage. Get rid of them.

Anyway, let's move on to Julian. How have you been spending your self-isolation, Julian? I'm actually loving it, to be honest. Apart from, you know, there's an eerie sense of death around. And it's scary, the numbers that are going to die, and that's obviously bleak. But in my little world, it's nice. You know what I mean?

I'm just, I'm watching everything there is to watch about COVID. I'm basically got a PhD and laying in bed watching porn on the hour every hour because I'm not letting this change my way of life. Do you know what I mean? And, yeah, just eating healthy, trying to exercise. And yeah, just enjoying it, man. It's quite nice going down the supermarket, queuing up. And it's quite, there's a piece around, isn't there?

It's like a long Sunday. But obviously there's numbers dying, so that's bleak. Well, I love the way we started this. Everybody's just really happy. And actually, Nina, Nina, who said hello YouTube beauty. She was talking about me and Francis. Believe it or not. She says, we make her love so much.

She's probably just listening to the audio or something. She really needs a hug. She really needs a hug. She's not going to get one, but she needs one. she really is. And Greco, Brit girl, who's a British girl living in Greece, not surprisingly given her name, says, A Long Sunday, Loll.

So someone has got a joke, that's your audience feedback for the day, Julian. You're smashing it, mate. Julian Dean official on Instagram. I think, it's two liters. It all feels like Christmas without the abuse. That's how this feels, you know. It feels like, we're just, there's no, you know, nothing to do, but stare at each other.

It feels nice. I mean, even my husband's, And he's not very complimentary in general. He said that he's liking the way California feels, like people are helping each other out, you know. So that's nice. But there's also photos running online of his country, Brazil, ignoring the virus as they dig graves and say Apollo.

So I guess he feels better being here for reasons such as those, you know. So Boltonaro is not taking this seriously in any shape or form, is he? As a comedian he is. But as a world leader, he's not. No, he thinks it's all a conspiracy to kind of undermine his economy and his authority. He's the last leader on Earth who's not, you know, doing what he should be doing, which is guiding his people through some sort of phase of, you know, hunkering down. He's telling people, go back to work, act like a man.

But to me, acting like a man means being, you know, vain and predatory. I think what they should be doing. I'm still doing that just from my home. It's terrifying. You know, and I feel like there's some leaders in the U.S. who are doing the same. I don't know if you read about that governor of Georgia who said yesterday in a press conference, well, we didn't know that you could have this without having any symptoms. He said, her and I, her and his wife, her and I, we didn't know.

He lives six miles from the Center for Disease Control, six miles. He could yell out of the results to his. home. I just feel like there's a lot of people that blinders on who are terrified of their economic status altering. You know, we're suffering from that. My husband and I too, but we think we should probably try to live first and then worry about our jobs after. That's our strategy. Is that stupid? What do you think? No, I think that's a good strategy. What's your strategy, Julian, to survive this? Well, survive staying in bed and doing what I've got to do and exercising and eating healthy and taking My dog's out and zoom in.

It's nice, man. Like, it's better than the Second World War anyway. Got a different uniform. But, yeah, I'm quite enjoying it. It is worrying that, I don't know, like the conspiracy thing. Like, I keep getting the, it's 5G and all that kind of thing. And I was going to watch a video on it. I just want to see what they're saying, but I don't want to get pulled into it.

Because I can get pulled into things. Next thing I'm fucking thinking it's a conspiracy and starting WhatsApp stuff sending it around. But yeah, I don't know. What is the conspiracy thing anyway? Does anyone know? Do you know constantly? We're going to play a little game with you, Julian. Not just with you, with everybody. If I just said you, it sounded creepy. And also, that's the first time you've smiled throughout the whole thing. But, well, we're going to look at conspiracies. Yeah. We're going to be looking at the conspiracies. And I've got four real one, well, one real one and four made up ones. But we'll do that later on.

Yeah. Sorry, go for a question. Well, I was going to say, Greco-Brit girl says we're desperate to get back to work. People have absolutely no financial backup here in Greece. It's grim for so many. If people can financially survive for a couple of months, that's great. Many can't. And then she thought about it some more and just went, sorry to be a downer.

It's valid, though, isn't it? I have had a few moments of, like, anxiety attacks, like, for about an hour or two. Then I just have a wank, and it's like, Oh, I was just hungry. Yeah. You're just wanking your way through it, mate. Not just chlam. I just was hungry.

His hand got Victorian and his hand went to his pearls here as he talked about his own survival. It's very sweet, very old school. Yeah, I feel like, you know, a lot of things are being relearned. I mean, I'm doing stand-up. You told us to plug ourselves. I'm doing stand-up every Saturday night. Well, every night at 10 o'clock doing 10 minutes. and then a live show from my living room.

And I'm thinking in San Francisco on Instagram, and I'm thinking maybe this is the way it should be anyway. I mean, I've always had a stream about being a rock star, you know, driving up to the stadium, rolling the window down, yelling my jokes out of the window, rolling the window up and driving off. And maybe this is the equivalent to that. Maybe I don't have to deal with clubs or promoters or any of that bullshit.

Fuck that. I'm doing Stan out, like Julian said from my bed, right? Do that. People like it. I mean, people don't have to leave their homes either. Maybe this is the wave of comedy in the future. You know, none of us like audiences anyway, they're all the bunch of cunts.

Maybe this is the way that we find a better way of expressing ourselves or not the threats of an audience, throwing glasses at us, or cutting ourselves on the way out. I mean, who wants to play Sheffield with half the audience are beating each other up in the street on the way back to our hotel anyway? Maybe this is the new Sheffield. This is how comedy should be, right?

Sheffield is taking a pounding tonight. but a very important question. Just to interrupt, Sheffield takes a pounding most nights, mate. Absolutely. I haven't met him. Anyway, Danger Mouse says,

can we presume Julian is taking advantage of free Porn Hub then? This important question, Julian, which would like you to address to the whole of the internet. What's Porn Hub? You're a benefactor. I wish I bought shares in it.

I'd say I wish I bought shares in Zoom. Everyone's using Zoom. now, aren't they? Like at the opportunity. Wait, guess who owns Zoom, by the way? The Russians. The Chinese. Well, I think, Russians. So conveniently, they start a virus and then boom, their company is the one that we all

used to talk. Or rather, Zoom. Yeah, yeah. Stick to the wanking jokes, mate. We're not going to go on the Chinese virus. We just call it the virus. Namaste. Although the Spanish flu The Spanish flu is fine

You know, fuck those people call it that But not the virus, it's very naughty Trump is hilarious though man Trump was cracking me up Do you see those memes that go around When it's like China and stuff It's fucking But I mean

I've been watching the press conferences The US ones Yeah Fauci's good in he And Deborah, is that I know? Yeah, yeah Yeah, they're quality man I want them to adopt me after this

I like the governor of New York he's good. Yeah, he seems a bit. I mean, he's very real, isn't he? When I was just listening to his thing today live, like they're not got enough ventilators, they're not got enough anything. I was like, I want to change channel, man. Yeah, it's a bit worse. I don't want to get mixed up in his dramas, do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Who writes this shit? Yeah, Trump's got a lot of punchlines, though. He does have a lot of punchlines. I like how he blames, he blames the nurses. That's good. Yeah, like they're stealing masks or, like, they're selling them on even. bay or something. It's funny.

When did he play the nurses? He said they're selling some of the equipment out the back door. Oh, right. Sneaking out the back door. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're like the hospitals. Yeah, some of the hospitals. He's keeping an eye on that. But the doctors, I mean, his team's good, isn't it? The doctors are quality, man.

I'm so glad his son-in-law's involved. I feel so much safer with the gay Nazi. Yeah. It's like that black guy with a big dick. He's taken care of him. now. So, yeah, we're safe. We're safe. And how is the situation in California? Is it, I presume it's not as bad as New York?

Right. Well, the population is less concentrated, right? Yeah. We're less of a petri dish. And there's more open space. I think that's probably something to do with it. But it's doing okay. Also, the governor of California, Gavin Newsom shut the state down before anyone else did, really, in the U.S. And then a lot of local mayors and county officials shut down cities before, which is why I think, I think that's part of the reason why our numbers are low in California compared to our population. I mean, it's one-tenth of the population of the country live here, but our numbers are much lower than the city of New York or other concentrated hubs, you know. So how long have you been in lockdown for, Scott? I heard the term self-isolation here.

I came back March 2nd, and people were using the term already here, and I hadn't heard it before. And then the lockdown started about, it was the day after the WHO called it a pandemic, which I think was at the 11th of March. So the next day, my husband arrived from the UK. I wasn't sure he was going to make it, and he did.

And that's when the lockdown started about weekends. It was pretty soon, pretty early on. compared to the rest of the U.S., I mean, not the rest of the world. And how is it enforced? We've been dragging our, you know, our bloated feet on this one for a while. And how is it enforced? Is it, you know, is it done the British way where it's sort of like gently persuading or is it more like if you get out, you'll get a fine, you'll get $50, whatever it is,

I don't know. Well, I've heard stories of people being ticketed on the freeways here being pulled over and ticketed by police because they're not doing essential travel. But that may just be urban myth. I haven't seen any police or National Guard on the streets. We've seen police cars cruising a bit, but I think they're looking for looters because we see them more at night driving around. But we feel safer, actually, wandering the streets now than I did before all this happened. Again, it's quieter.

People seem to be respecting distance. And again, the Bay Area is keeping their numbers really low in terms of infection and death numbers. So that's one of the reasons why we stayed, why we ignored British Airways when they told us you either come back this weekend or we're not sure when we can get you back. So we thought, well, we should stay here. To me, it's the metaphor, I think I mentioned to you, of a horror movie when the guy with a flashlight's walking into a closet when there's a serial killer on the loose thinking, I hope there's no killers in here. We felt that way about going back to London. It's like, why should we leave the bright open space to go to Londonwards? it's a bit more concentrated and the danger's a bit higher where we are.

No, that's fair enough. And Judy, are you missing comedy? Well, I'm still kind of doing podcasts and I'm still having a laugh. That's what it is, isn't it? I don't miss. Your facial expression when you said that. I don't miss the travel, like five hours each way on a Saturday night. I do miss the gigging and stuff, yeah, but.

I mean, it's like a holiday. This is the longest I've been without a gig since I started. I'm getting better sleep, eating better. You know what I mean? It's all right, mate. Apart from all the death, obviously. I don't want to. I feel quite selfish, like, absolutely in my element.

So, yeah. I'm really enjoying it as well, man. Like I said, I'm going for a daily walk with my wife, spending more time with her, sleeping a lot, eating healthy. Coronavirus has been brilliant for my health. Exactly. I think that's the irony. This virus will make the people who don't die a lot healthier.

And I've been doing, like, I've been taking food. This isn't a virtue signal. It is a virtue signal. But taking food to a couple of old people as well. And that makes me feel better about fucking loving this life. So that's all right. You know what I mean? So are you part of this volunteering scheme?

Are you volunteer? Did you volunteer for the government scheme? No, no. Just a couple of people I know. So I'm a good guy, you know what I'm trying to say. We've got a comment from Mark Williams. Or by the way, Julian's a vegan. So when he takes food around to somebody else's house, none of it is edible.

It's just punishment. I've just discovered salt and pepper. That's how bad I am in the kitchen as well. I was telling people about, if you ever tried salt and pepper on something, it makes it amazing. They're like, yeah, we've heard of that. You know what I mean? But it does make a meal nice, didn't it?

Mark Williams says at last Trigonometry who has found someone who looks more Jewish and KK and Francis and there won't be egg on my face if it turns out Julian actually is Jewish So Julian

I don't even know if I'm I don't think I'm Jewish am I Why are you asking us It's not like we have a built in the DNA person I mean my mum's not Jewish My dad changed his name To from Golden to Dean Oh yeah you're Jewish mate right okay

Can you get it on your mum side, don't you? Yeah, it's not how works really. I mean, that's technically how it works, but I also think that if you're genetically Jewish, you're kind of Jewish. I'd like to be Jewish. We are all Jewish. We are all Jewish. We are all

Corona. We are all Jewish. I like Jews, so I'd like to be Jewish. Yeah, I'm happy to be Jewish. Why do you like Jews, Julian? I like all people, man. Well, Doug, he's got out of that one. You've got out of that one. Two signaling prick. Right, okay.

Except for France. this obviously. Yeah. That's how I and the rest of our audience feel about that as well. I love what they've done in the south of Israel. Brilliant. What have they done? It's so safe for people like me. We're in Tel Aviv and we, oh, we loved it. That's what my husband says. See, Hitler couldn't have been so bad. I mean, that part of Israel is so beautiful. We love what they've done. So great job, guys, Jews, guys. Well done, Jews. Gregor. Breadgirl says we all love Francis and then she says, I do anyway. There you go. Thank you very much, Greg.

We love Francis, really. That's my middle name, actually. It is it? That's not Jewish, is it? No, it's not, mate. It's an Irish name, actually. Is it? Francis. Yeah. That's why no English people know how to spell it. Well, the man's ways IS, isn't it? And the woman's ways ES. Yeah, but everybody mispels it anyway.

But we might as well do a game. So very, very quickly, what I'm going to do is I'm going to read out for you five conspiracy. Make it three, Francis. Make it three, remember. Three conspiracy theories. And I want you to work out which one is real and which one is fake. This is easy. Yeah, this is easy. Okay. So, number one, conspiracy theory number one, the government of bankrolling porn hub to ensure men stay at home. False. Look, I spend a lot of time telling you what's wrong with the world, so let me tell you about something that's actually right.

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That's avocado green mattress.com slash trigger. Avocado green mattress.com slash trigger. I like to sound that, but it sounds... It makes sense, but it's not true because it was in Italy first. It's not like every government in the world's doing that. They're doing it globally. All right. Keep it on.

You can tell you've spent two months time on the internet. I can just smell it. Julian's got to investigate this shit. We've got our first periscope comment from Firesteady. How are you doing? Good to see you. He says that is definitely true. All real.

Okay. By the way, Morlanius says, anyone ever thought that Francis looks like a latex puppet? Thanks, mate. Appreciate that. Okay, the next one is, I'm going to do four, actually. The Disney film Tangled predicted the coronavirus epidemic. So the Disney film Tangled predicted the coronavirus epidemic. I mean, that's possible because there was a lot of predictions of the coronavirus, wasn't there?

Yeah. Well, there's always existed. So the prediction is a bit weak. But anyway, yes. I mean, SARS is a type of corona, isn't it? COVID-19 is the corona that we've got now. Yeah. You're not ready for info. I'm looking forward to COVID-20, to be honest.

Yeah. And the Edinburgh flew after each festival, that's a corona version too. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So number three is the Chinese invented the coronavirus as a revenge for Brexit. It's the Chinese large, large, capitalist supernatural organizations. Why would they be against Brexit?

I know. Number four is the Queen is dead and it's being silenced to ensure that the UK doesn't go into meltdown. Tangle's the only possible valid one out of all of those that could be true. And that's tenuous anyway. Maybe they had a little reference to some flu and that's what they mean. Are you saying conspiracy theory might not be true? Well, I don't know. All around the flat earth people believe also sort of not. I'm going for the porn hub because it's sexist and the world is so that one I'm going for.

It's very racist as well. All right. Is it? Pornhound. And all porn's racist, yeah. They're dropping end bombs all over the place. Oh, really? Yeah, I don't watch it, but my mates.

Yeah. Asking for a friend. Yeah, but that's, you know, is that racist or fetishist? There's a fine line, isn't there? Yeah, I think there is. I mean, the way I say it is fetishes, but Yeah, yeah, yeah. You whisper it, if I remember correctly, you whisper it.

Yeah, yeah. But when they yell it, that's the bad time. I blow it in ears. Yeah, yeah. Let someone, let's get an answer and then someone's got a question. Okay, so, right, so you're going for, Scott, you're going for Pornhub, yes? I am. Always do.

I always do, and I will today. You were nothing if not a loyal customer. Well done to you. Julian, which one do you think it is? I'm going for Tangled, but it's also a tenuous link to that being the prediction. Okay, right, Tangled. K.K. I think Tangled as well.

Okay. Nobody went for the Queen. No. But the Queen's dead. Yeah, and it's being silenced to ensure the UK doesn't go into meltdown. She was filled with us. David Oakes said none of this, is he? Jesus, look at you.

Right, you're the worst person to play this game with because you believe all of it. No, I don't believe David Ike. I'm just saying. Right, okay. I'm just saying he might be right about everything. I don't believe our Lord and Savior, no. So we have got, it's the government of bankrolled in Pornhub to ensure men stay at home.

I'm sorry, that was made up. Chinese invented the coronavirus as a revenge for Brexit. That's obviously made up. The Queen is dead and it's being silenced to ensure that the UK doesn't go into meltdown. I thought that was a good... I think it's too wishful thinking. Too much wishful thinking in that one. I think that's what it is.

Who would melt down? The country wouldn't melt down more than this anyway. Do you remember what happened when Princess died? Well, it was a... Dispicious circumstances. I nearly said killed. Princess dies dead. Yeah.

Yeah. There is that theory going around anyway. Yeah. I mean, you know, when Boris kicks it from this, the country will, kind of, there'll be a shakeup in the UK. Because he's really ill, right, Boris is? I mean, from this. He looked like shit, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. He looks bad usually anyway, but he looks really bad right now. When he goes, who's the next in line? I don't even know who it is. Who's the next line? Call him. The secretary person?

Yeah, it's Prince Charles is an excellent line, isn't it, isn't it? And we have the answer, please. Okay. It is, it is, it is, uh, the distance. film Tangle predicted the coronavirus. Yep, very good. That was a very educated, informed guests of mine as well.

So can I just take credit on that? Yeah, it's almost like... I only agreed with it because Julian said it. Agreed with it because Julian said it. I knew he was going to have a right. I thought I wasn't smart enough to come on your podcast. As did we.

Anyway. Scott, Stephen Stephen McDonald says, hey, Scott, why is the right stuff so bad now? Matthew Wright was great. Yeah, he was great. He's still great. He's on the radio and he's marvelous. And he's doing some morning TV as well, but they changed direction and fired me. So whatever happens, happens. I mean, I think TV's gotten a bit, the BBC most certainly, although I know it's on the BBC, has definitely turned right and it's become a bit of a daily male fan club. You might have to refer back to Constantine about that because he's more about that than I do.

But yeah, I think it's all a conspiracy to misinform us, which is what this virus is all about. I mean, I feel fine. It must be conspiracy. And we've got a super chat for us, see Scott. We do indeed. It's from Lazarus Long. It's 499. Good stuff.

Thumbs up. Good to see Scott. Back in the day before I was banned from the bounding gagged, it was always a good night when he was on the bill. Band? Why was he banned? How did you get banned? I told... No, no, no, no.

You've been a big star. I told him to keep his time down on stage because he went over time every time he was on stage. And I said, you need to cut it and bring me on. And don't fuck with me with your long overdue set to go on and on. And that was Daniel Kitson. Anyway, so when I said that,

he was brilliant, but he would go on and on. do a half hour. So after I did that, they didn't really invite me back. I don't know why, but anyway, O- Wells. So you told Daniel Kitsen to shut up?

I was the first one. Who's the first one? I've seen him do a two-hour show, mate. He's brilliant. He's great, but two hours. It's too long even for the best, isn't it? That's why I keep mine to 159, do you know what I mean?

You can go over two minutes, I think, with yours, You know, it's going to try. Yeah. I keep it tight, though, short, sweet. But it turns out that Lazarus Longhit was also banned from bound and gagged as well, the person who sent us to Super Chat. Why was Lazarus banned? Yeah, that's what I asked him, but he hasn't, he or she or they or Zer haven't confirmed.

So we'll find out. We'll find out. Francis, was there another game we were going to play? No, no, no, no. That was it. Yeah. All right, guys. So how do you think the word,

would change as a result of the coronavirus? What will be different when this is all over? Other than we've covered the deaths, I think we've all established. We're not keen on that. Well, have you been following Madonna on YouTube? No. Well, we'll all realize that all along she was out of her fucking gourd. You have to watch those videos.

She's singing songs from her bathtub covered in rose petals, telling us how we're all on the same ship. And if it sinks, when it goes down, we're all going to go down. It's just she rewrites all the lyrics to, to Vogue, which as it she turns out, she doesn't know the lyrics originally to begin with, and she's tone deaf, and she can't dance, even in her own bathroom.

It's genius. Oh, by the way, she's had so much facial surgery that you think, that's not Madonna. That might be a trans. That could be Frances playing Madonna for all we're not. We'll all realize after this is done that she was never any good to begin with, and I've had that fight with so many gays and lost so many

friendships before, and I said, now, I'll be winning. Why is it the gay men love Madonna so much. I don't get it. Not just gay men like everyone does. Yeah, the world love Don't be like that, Francis. Don't be like that. Francis. Why do you hate Madonna, Francis? Why do you hate gay people as well? I don't know why you hate them. Yeah. This is an absolute pile on. It's not an interactive version of Twitter here. I say one thing suddenly gets misconstrued by the... I'm a grave, you're ass, motherfucker. Yeah, it's weird. I mean,

Madonna, you know, stricent and all that stuff. Gays are drawn to sort of, I think, people that seem like broken wings or that come out of nowhere, right, that sort of are kind of left to center for a while. And then they become huge and then they're not any longer left of center. But I think gays also feel a bit of an affinity

toward women on their own. Because I think sexism and homophobia kind of go hand and manicured hands. So that's why women and gay men sort of feel an affiliation, I think, when they meet each other. That and there's no weird sex energy, like there's between straight guys like yourselves and women because you're all hashtag you need two people. Yeah, thanks, Scott.

There we go. Appreciate that. Try about that two meter thing, isn't it? We can't do that anymore. Yeah. Julian's devastated. All the Me Too opportunities have been taken from us. But someone says, oh, Gazes is.

says Francis showing his true gammon ideals. There we go. Yeah. Gammon. Look, the problem is, is this camera and this lighting makes me look even more gammon than normal. He's the most gammony gammon of all gamons. But Julian, what do you think? How is the world going to be different when this is all over?

I think we'll only know when it happens. I think it's going to affect, this is such a shit answer, but I think it's going to affect things that we can't even imagine now at the time we will find. out, but obviously the economy. I think crowds are going to be different for like maybe a few years. I don't know. I think people are just practically,

I think I'm going to be wearing a mask for about two years all the time. Which mask will you choose? Who do you want to be? Madonna. It would be quite funny if for two years everyone just wore a gimp mask, like from Pulp Fiction, just walk around on one of them.

I've been to that festival, actually. I bet you have No two meter rule at that one, is there? No. That is lovely. But by the way, did you have a nice time at that festival, Scott?

I don't remember. I woke up. That's a yes. Yeah, yeah, I was, yeah. I'm glad I woke up. But yeah, it was good. Yeah, I couldn't walk for three days, but oh, well.

Wilking's overrated, man. Although people are discovering exercise now during a pandemic. That's the irony of it. People are going for. walks. Absolutely, man. Absolutely. Well, guys, we've got over 200 people watching the stream, so make sure before we wrap up, you smash that like button, so more people get to see it. Thank you very much for hanging out with us. As you know, during this time of Corona,

we're putting out a piece of content every day except Monday. So tomorrow, Francis, now we'll be back with a stream. On Sunday, we've got an episode with the brilliant Dominic Frisbee coming out. Monday is our day off, and then we'll be back into the usual streams, episodes, etc. We've got some cracking interviews coming out in the next few weeks. They're going to be really, really cool. So thank you very much for hanging out with us. Thank you. Yeah, thanks.

Scott and Julian. Just let everybody know where they can follow what you do, what you're doing at this time, and let everybody know what's going on with you. Go on, Scott, first of all. I'm doing stand-up live on Instagram from my living room every night at 8 o'clock, Pacific Standard Time in California. And then on Saturday night, every weekend, I'm doing a full comedy show with guests.

I do the live stream from my living room this Saturday. And then again, from up north about an hour with some people on the 10th, the Friday of April, the 10th. So, yeah, every night, Instagram, 8 o'clock, check it out. Okay, fantastic. And what's your Instagram, Scott? It's just my name, Scott Capuro. And my PayPal and Venmo details are on my Instagram page. yeah fabulous stuff and julian what do you is there anything that you particularly want to plug julian

um my instagram's julian dean dean's got an e on the end official um my porn hub not no really my uh yeah my twitter julian underscore dean i also do a podcast two vegan idiots with carl donnelly which we're just releasing an episode with paul mcathre and we've also got a Patreon, patreon.com slash two vegan idiots. We do release them outside of Patreon and they get extra in Patreon if that makes sense. I'm also doing bikini halls 6pm weekdays. There you go. And June Buck says,

Vegans Unite White Blot to send us another $2 says have a pint. We can't, mate. We have to get it in a bottle and take it home, unfortunately. But thank you very much for the support. And Jesus or Jesus Franco says, Scott is a great comic. So Scott, there's some lovely feedback for you. Thanks very much. Thank you for that. Thank you very much to both of you.

Thank you very much to all you guys for tuning in. And we'll see you tomorrow, 7 o'clock UK time for another stream. Take care. Stay safe. And have a good night. And before we go, one person says, Mr. Stream, I was outspreading COVID. Happy Chinese New Year. Well, shabby. Take care, everybody.

See you next time. Take care, guys.