TRIGGERnometry - Nuance is the new N-word - Mark Normand

Episode Date: May 7, 2025

Mark Normand is an American stand-up comedian known for his sharp wit and observational humour. Follow Mark on X: https://x.com/marknorm SPONSOR. Shopify! Sign up for a £1 per month trial at https://www.shopify.co.uk/trigger/ SPONSOR. Augusta Precious Metals: Protect Your Retirement with Physical Gold. Rated #1. Click to learn more: https://bit.ly/triggergold Join our exclusive TRIGGERnometry community on Substack! https://triggernometry.substack.com/ OR Support TRIGGERnometry Here: Bitcoin: bc1qm6vvhduc6s3rvy8u76sllmrfpynfv94qw8p8d5 Shop Merch here - https://www.triggerpod.co.uk/shop/ Advertise on TRIGGERnometry: [e-mail] Find TRIGGERnometry on Social Media: https://twitter.com/triggerpod https://www.facebook.com/triggerpod/ https://www.instagram.com/triggerpod/ About TRIGGERnometry: Stand-up comedians Konstantin Kisin (@konstantinkisin) and Francis Foster (@francisjfoster) make sense of politics, economics, free speech, AI, drug policy and WW3 with the help of presidential advisors, renowned economists, award-winning journalists, controversial writers, leading scientists and notorious comedians. 00:00 Introduction 08:35 Where Is Comedy At Right Now? 14:45 What Are You Seeing Since The US Election? 21:04 Is America Going To Be Great Again? 26:51 Would You Want To Do Comedy Anywhere Else? 34:00 What's Going On In London? 41:06 Making Canada The 51st State 47:10 Everyone Wants You To Be On Their Side 52:06 What's The Thing We're Not Talking About That We Should Be? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you think this is going to be America being great again? I think it's already pretty great. Everything's big here. Lizzo? Who thought Kanye was going to be a Nazi? That's what I'm saying. Everything's on the table. You can't predict anything anymore.

I don't want to be the dad comic. So Bill Cosby's not only not guilty. He's actually been falsely accused. Those 44 women were full of shit. I always say fires are. are the new school shootings in America. There's one a week and I've stopped caring. Mark Norman.

Welcome back, brother. How are you? Good to be back. Hey, I'm on no sleep, but I'm glad to be away from my family. Yeah. Well, you're your father of a two-month-old. Yes, yes, it's hard.

But we're getting through it, God damn it. Yeah, we were just talking before we started of how, like, the cuteness of the baby is what gets you through. Yes. Because if you didn't have that. No, it's like a fart. You like your own, but I hate other ones.

But you know how I get it out? I burp the shit out. of them. That's how I like get out. That's how I hit him. I'm just kidding. CPS. Don't call me. Now he's cute and gray. We're having a great time. Strong start. It is a powerful. So how have you changed Mark? Well, I got a Jamaican lady coming at night for a different reason. Now she's watching the baby. So that helps. Do you guys do the night nurse ever? No. Oh, really? No, we're raw dogging at me. You're stronger than me. This Jamaica lady comes in and she's pretty great because my wife will be like, I'm sad. She's like, that's white women. She's, suck it up, bitch.

And I'm like, can't argue with the old school black lady. So it's been great. It's been great. Looking forward to the sleeping through the night, but we'll get to that. Has it made you, like, I don't know about, for me, it made me slightly more empathetic, which for me was a result because I was starting from very low base. Yeah. What about you? Totally. We're comedians. We're selfish. We're assholes. So yeah, way more empathetic, way less selfish because you just, it's not about you anymore. Hey, I got to feed this thing. You want to, you want to sleep, but you go, he's got a shitty diaper. So you definitely grow up quick. And I think other people could use a baby. You know, you mean all these cum guzzlers

on the street who are just selfish? And I feel like the next generation is all about me, me with the selfie and the TikToks. They could use a baby. Do you just call Francis a cum guzzler? Yes. Well, I've been saying that for years. You know what I mean? He needs to get on that journey and he's not there. What journey? Sorry. The cum-guzzling journey.

Do the cum-guzzling journey? Oh, fair enough. That's Bonnie Blues tour. Yeah. But yeah, I will say, I'm not one of these. Like, you've got to have a kid. If you don't have a kid, you're worthless. But it does.

There's a butt there. It gets you going. I jumpstart you. Yeah. So, yeah, give it a shot. Give it a shot. So are you going around now, evangelizing for babies? No, no.

I'm not one of those guys. But I do think it makes your life a little more fulfilling. Yeah. And when it comes to the comedy aspect of it, has it changed the way you do comedy? Have you now become more sensitive and think, I'm not going to open with the Pido joke. Have you seen his material, I know. I go right in the Pito. But I guess it's, I don't want to be the dad comic.

You don't want to be that guy, you know. So I'm trying to like stay, have my voice while talking about the kids. kid. So I keep it dark and fun. Yeah, but if you think about a dad comic, I kind of get what you mean by that, but also the dad comic was some of the greatest comedians of all time. That's true. Bill Cosby, dad comic, he's a great comedian. Someone tainted. Someone tainted. Yeah, actually, never convicted, never tried. No, he's not guilty. What? He went to jail. No, but it got, it got, Frost, do you know you're on camera, right? I do know that I'm on camera. Right. So let's just get This right. Is Bill Cosby? Did he, is he guilty or not?

No, he was found guilty of the court, but then... And went to jail? But you're now claiming he's innocent. No, I'm claiming he's not guilty because I know that it got overturned. Oh, so legally he's not guilty, but... It's like OJ. So are you saying he's a victim of a miscarriage of justice? Yeah, exactly. Bill Cosby.

Legally he is. We'll give it a goog. Can we get a verdict on that? Billy. I want to know. Yeah. I mean, I'll tell you what, I've put a hell of a stake in the ground, haven't I? Yeah, you have. And we're going to find out. Now, look, in fairness, if you're right, it's going to be quite, it's going to be a revelation to the audience of trigonometry, I would imagine, right?

Yeah, OJ, you know, he didn't get convicted. Exactly. You might have something. But, yeah. Yeah, so, yeah, no, absolutely. Another, another soldier. Right. Anyway, your point was Bill Cosby and others.

And others, and look, Louis Cicke. Yeah, well, that wasn't illegal. Exactly. Well, well, what Cosby did was illegal. What do you got there, Slady? Free enough to top court, overturned, sexual assault conviction. Overturned. Thank you very much. So, you got to get him on here. So Bill Cosby's not only not guilty, he's actually been falsely accused. But a perfect trigonometry guess.

Absolutely. Those 44 women were full of shit. Not really, I'm joking. The 44 is a lot. You can't really argue with 44. That's the thing is I feel like, I know this. supposed to be a sheriff's show, but I feel like once you're past 10 women. Yeah. That's not a conviction and call, but it's not that far off. You know what I mean? Exactly, exactly. It's all feel like, if it's double digits, so maybe there's some truth to it. Right, right, right, yeah. Unless it's a coordinated attack.

Ooh, boy, you really keep digging, huh? I mean 10? Yeah. Getting 10 women to work together like that is pretty fucking hard. Yeah, they all had the same story, which is not good either. Yeah. The drugging. Yeah. So anyway, great comedians. Mount Rushmore, for sure. Yeah. Yeah.

One could say actually inspired Richard Pryor. Richard Pryor, who obviously when he started was a Bill Cosby tribute act. But anyway, Louis C.K., they are dad comedians, is my point. Bilber, Louis, Chris Rock, Chappelle, all dads. Yeah. So the dad joke is even a sh**y thing to say. That's a dad joke. They have dad jokes.

Yeah, exactly. It's quite interesting. they put the word dad in front of something in a slang term to denigrate it, like dad bod, dad joke. Dad rock. Yeah, dad rock. Yeah, you're right. Mom is right. Yeah.

Sorry, I misjudged the mom and forgive me. Mom is good. Mom sex. What's a, I guess that's a milf. Yeah. Do moms everything? Mom jeans? No, but see, moms are venerated and so they should be.

Right, right. But my point is, the father is sort of denigrated, isn't it? It is. It's a pejorative for sure. Dad joke, dad butt. Yeah. Good point. What's that about? Yeah, exactly. No one feels bad for men. Right. Right. Yeah. I mean, you know, where if we go, hey, I'm tired, people go, shut up, suck it up, you pussy. Work harder. Work harder. It's interesting, isn't it? Because I kind of like, on the one hand, I'm kind of laughing along, go, oh, that's really messed up. On the other hand, that's actually, that's actually, what I believe. I know. Men don't feel bad for men either. It's not a woman thing. But like Johnny Depp, he got accused

of beating Amber Hurd. He went through like all this trial, all this public attack, and then he proved he was right. And everybody was like, hey, you won that one. It's like, hey, how about the, what the fuck? I got called a wife beater, and it wasn't true. Look, no one patched on the back and goes,

oh, sorry you went through that, buddy. That was hell. We just go, hey, you won. Yeah. What's the next movie? keep going and then and then people talk about men's mental health week or men's mental health company

oh come on all of this stuff and you go on the one hand it's important on the other hand no one cares yeah yeah it's true it's a tough tough go we're not allowed to be sad but then women are like

you gotta I wish men would open up I wish they would be emotional and you're like well actually I feel like everybody hates us and they're like shut up you're like what the hell all right So you want me to have feelings as long as you approve of them. Yes.

Yeah. I think that is exactly what they want. All right. And where do you think comedy is at the moment, Mark? Do you think because there was at one point, well, we first interviewed you in 2022. And I, but the past few years, it seemed as everything was kind of regressing, think people were being censored, you know, people getting, you know, even Mike Ward in Canada getting arrested for a joke.

Yeah. But where do you think we are now? I think we're doing great. We're booming. This is a big... How many friends do you know who are in arenas? Like, I just did the Chicago Theater,

which is a pretty big room in Chicago, and I was talking to the Booker or the producer, whatever it is, and he was like, I gotta tell you, I've been working here 50 years. No comedians play. He's like, we had Don Rickles here, and it was like half full, and that was in the late, like, the early 80s.

He was a legend. So, people just didn't go out and see comedy. Like, you had Dice Clay and Steve Martin made me doing arena here and there. But now it's like, like, Andrew Schultz is at the garden, Nate Bergotsie is at the Bridgestone Arena. I mean, it's just huge, huge names. Yeah.

And these are friends of ours. Well, I said this to Schultz. We had him on the other day. Like, watching his latest special, you'd think, like, wokeness never happened. Right, right. Like, we're so over it in comedy, especially in America. Yeah, well, I think we learned because the Internet will come at you hard. And you go, oh, my God, everybody's against me.

Can I even go outside? This is scary. And then we learned, like, yeah, they all talk. And then it goes away. Trump got shot in the head. We were over it in two days, you know. So we were scared of the internet for a while, and now we all go, ah, the internet's going to talk. I'm just going to keep saying whatever I want. I do hate when people go, uh, uh, cancel culture. It's not real. It's like, well, don't gaslight me.

It was scary for a while. Yeah. Yeah, let's not pretend like that wasn't a thing. I was scared of other comedians. I would be writing jokes going, uh, what if they see that? I better not say that. Like, I was worried. So I have friends who lost jobs because of this. and they said that. So like, it was scary. I mean, professor lost a job for saying, ladies and gentlemen, they're like, that's a, you're misgendering or whatever. Remember that truck driver got in trouble for doing this in a photo? Mexican guy. That was like, that's a white power symbol. He got fired. So, like, it was horrible for a while. So don't gaslight me. Enough with the gaslighting. But, yeah, I think we're good.

That's a really good point. That's a really good point. Thank you. Yeah, really good point. Yeah. So, like, it was bad for a while, but now, especially in this country, just feels like we're through the other side completely. Yeah, yeah. And I think just even if it does, if you do get some shit, just keep going. Don't let it phase you. Yeah, I think now people have got a strategy for surviving. I think the people who went through it in the early days, like a friend of ours called Daniel O'Reilly, Dapper Lafs, and he was canceled.

He was one of the first comedians canceled in the UK because they clipped a bit of him and put it out of context when he was doing some crowd. work. As a character act. As a character act. And they clipped it out of context. It went viral. He ended up getting fired from his TV show. Wow. It was a hate campaign in the press. He said it drove him nearly to suicide. Of course. He went through absolute hell. But part of,

and he's now back and better than ever, and he's incredible. Good. But I think the thing was, the difficulty Dan found, and he spoke to me about this, is that when he was going through it, there was no template for Right. A, what the hell he was experiencing, because that never really happened in that way before. And number two, like, what's going to happen? And most important, you're going to get out of it and you're going to be fine.

Right, right. It feels like the world is coming down on you. It's this onslaught of hate, and we're not used to that. You know? So, yeah, it was, I feel for the guy. And that's the other thing that piss me off. When that guy was going through that, no one ever goes, oh, like the left is supposed to be. so compassion. It's all about compassion. We've got to help the minorities, help the homeless,

help this. But this guy went through hell, almost killed himself, and they're like, eh, you'll be all right? Yeah, yeah. He was a straight white man, though, so. Oh, well, there you go. Yeah, exactly, exactly. You're doing great. You have the world at your fingertips. You're like, well, I can still get cancer. I know I'm white, but I can still get cancer. I feel feelings. It's funny how white people don't feelings. I grew up in a black neighborhood. I got I called all kinds of horrible things. It felt horrible. I wanted to kill myself.

I was sad all the time. Yeah, it's, it's, that's an interesting point where they, they felt there was one moment. I remember when the phrase stale, pale, and male was being banded about. Do you remember that? I never heard that one. No, that's a very British thing. Yeah, is it?

Yeah, they don't have that here, I think. Still pale and male. Yeah, and then that was just being brandished and, you know, knocked about wherever you, wherever you went and, people were saying it, I saw it on bags. Wow. I saw it on this girl's bag, stale pen, and mail. And you go, would you be able to do that to anyone else?

Right. And it's just funny too, because if you go, actually, I'm Cuban, they go, oh my God, I'm so sorry. And you're like, now you feel bad for me? I'm still a human being. I'm the same guy. Like, just because I have a little bit of melanin or a little bit of flavor in my 23 and me, all of a sudden, now you feel bad. It's so stupid and so ignorant.

And I'm glad we're a... My friend, he's a black guy. He had a great point. He goes, I bet in 20 years, we're going to go back on the internet and see all the people who shone white people and we're like, you can't do that. That's cancelable. He thinks it's going to come around that hard.

All the white guy hate will be like a fireable offense in 20 years. That's his theory, but who knows. Really? Yeah. That's interesting. You know, because everything, we think we can predict. But, like, everything's so fucking crazy. So you think the whole thing is swinging in a different direction?

I think it's not just swinging. I think it's it's not like this and that. It's it's it's like a clock just doing this. Like anything like no one thought Trump was going to be a president in 2005 when he's on Home Alone 2. You know, like anything can happen now. Everything's on the table is what I'm saying. Yeah. It's pretty wild time to be alive. Yes. Yes, 100%. What do you see? We've we've been in America for a few days. So we're only getting the lay of the land. What do you see since the new administrations come in in terms of like? the culture and everything else is going on? Well, I try to, I'm not the smartest political guy, but it looks like the left is having a tough go. You know, the paddles at that state of the union, you know, the paddles picked up. I don't know if you guys saw that. No, no.

Oh, what happened? So Trump gave a big speech, as every president does, and the left wing wouldn't never stand up. And then they, like, held up paddles to say like, Elon steals or to impeach truck or whatever they said, I don't know, but you're like, paddles, this is what you're doing?

And then like, Rosanne flew to Ireland because she's like, I'm getting out of here. You're like, you leave? That's your big answer to fighting the bad guy is to leave? I don't know. So it just seems like, and the approval rating is very low with the left.

And I'm not saying the right is doing a bunch of great shit either. I'm just saying the left, when I grew up, the left was like the normal, it was like the stable one. And the right was like, don't get an abortion. You can't say this. And, you know, we've got to have everything be this way. And white is right and all that.

And religion all day long. And now it feels like the left is like, where are we at? What are we doing? Like Gavin Newsom is a podcast. He just came out and said that trans sports is unfair. And you're like, but you championed it for years. And now you're just flipping? What are you guys?

What's happening with the left? So what do you think he's doing that? Do you think he feels like the moment's changed? Yes. And I'm going to swing with it. That's all I can assume because what else? I don't think he just changes mind like that. I think he sees where the wind is blowing,

which is why left or right, all these guys are fucking hucksters. They're all car salesmen and bullshit. You really are seeing a lot of that, aren't you? Like, if you assume that these people are operating on principle, you're finding out pretty quickly on many sides, actually. That is not what's going on here. Yeah. And so these people are like, Biden's my guy or Trump's my guy. I'm like, your guy is a fucking

con artist, left or right. Just because Biden's eating ice cream doesn't mean he's a nice guy. He'll still pull, push a button and blow up a bunch of brown people. Do you have at least $50,000 in your 401k or another retirement account? If so, listen up. The global landscape is increasingly unstable and over $4.2 trillion has just vanished from retirement account. That's why many people, me included, are turning to gold as a hedge against these challenges, and thousands are turning to Augusta precious metals. They help you move part of your retirement into physical gold, something real, something that holds value when everything else is falling apart. And the best part, Augusta makes it simple. I've met them and seen how they work. There's no pressure,

there's no games, just a team that actually takes the time to walk you through it. Thousands trust them. They've got an A-plus rating with the BBB, and they're all about education for it. Don't just take my word for it. Mike, who compared a dozen other gold companies, said on trust pilot, none of them come close to Augusta. Justin said he was very cautious about moving a significant portion of her retirement funds, but Augusta's team was professional, honest and patient, leaving him very happy with his choice. That's what sets Augusta apart. No pressure, just expertise, and real trust earned the old-fashioned way. So, if you're serious about protecting what you've earned, click the link in the description of this episode

or go to TriggerGold.com and grab Augustus free gold IRA guide. That's Triggergold.com. It's your retirement. Make sure it's protected. They're all, they'll just say what they got to say. Like, Kamala's for fracking, and she's not for fracking. She worked at McDonald's, but we found that she didn't work at McDonald's.

Like, this is who you want as your president? Some lady who lied about, and what's so good about working at McDonald's? I don't give a shit. If I worked at McDonald's, I'd kill myself. Why do I need my president to work at McDonald's? Why does that make her better? But it's all just, it shows you it's all image. You know, hey, I work to McDonald's.

I'm a man of the people or a lady of the people. Like, who gives a... You got to run the country. I don't care you know how to work a friar later. Yeah, it's actually a profound point because the people, you know, politicians who try... But it's like show business, isn't it? It's show business for ugly people. That's what they say.

But it's also, you know, just because I can't relate. to you doesn't mean you're not going to be a good president. Yes. Actually, it does mean, if you relate to me, you should not be president. I'm hung over right now. I jerked off earlier while my kid was asleep. You know, it's, I'm the wrong guy. I got 20 minutes on Jews in my act. You know, like, you could be very political with that in the current climate. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Any Jew joke I post online just skyrockets, by the way. That's another thing. Remember I said the clock is just flipping the pendulum? Who thought Kanye was going to be a Nazi?

That's what I'm saying. Everything's on the table. You can't predict anything anymore. That is such a good. If someone in 1999 that told you Kanye West would be a Nazi that would wear a t-shirt with a swastika on it, I don't know that you would have believed them. No. Or Elon in the Oval Office with a chainsaw?

You'd be like, what the fuck happened? If you went to a time machine, you'd be blown away. You'd be like, this is crazy. No one's going to believe me. If you went back in time and told everybody, they go, you're fucking nuts. This guy's going to be killed. He's going to be in an asylum. Or trying to indict a president for sleeping with a porn star. That too, yeah. All insane.

It's insane. And I remember hearing that story and going, yeah, that makes sense. Exactly. We don't even bat an eye anymore. Can you imagine that happening in 1992? Well, we had Clinton. The cigar, he put a cigar in a chick's pussy. It's pretty crazy. Yeah. But I still feel like Hunter Biden got up to shit. the like that is just out of someone's like overwritten a book, you know what I mean? Like absolutely crazy shit.

Yeah, crack, hookers, free basing, all that, yeah, the whole thing's nuts. Yeah. It was like a stereotype. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they found cocaine in the bathroom of the White House. Yeah, that's a good time.

It is a good time. It is a good time. So are you excited, Mark? Do you think this is going to be America being great again? I think it's already pretty great. Like, everybody keeps trying to come here, you know? Like, we're doing something right.

And, you know, like, you know, in Ukraine, gay marriage is illegal. Which you're like, hey, put that on your flag, everybody. It wouldn't go with the LGBT stuff. That's true, that's true. And so, like, yeah, everybody thinks Ukraine is this, like, poor underdog, we got to help them. Yeah, let's help them, sure. But, you know, we're doing pretty good. Your point is not about Ukraine.

Your point is things are good. Yes, we're doing pretty good. Like, we talk about how racist we are and all this, but, you know, all these minorities and brown people want to come here. So I think we're doing great. But you know what it is? It's a bunch of young people who, it's like having a rich mom and dad where you're like, fuck you, mom and dad.

Then you go back to your amazing room with every Nintendo and game system and giant TV and millions of dollars and nice cars. and pool in the backyard. You're like, I hate my mom and dad. You're like, if you went to El Salvador for 10 minutes, you'd fucking kill yourself. You know, but they just go, oh, it's all hard. Like, no, no, we got it good,

and you'll realize that eventually. But it's like a teenager. He's got to let them yell it out. Yeah, yeah, you do. We got Uber Eats. We got Netflix. We got everything here. We got fentanyl.

We got it made. You've got a lot of that stuff. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I still, I love America, but it's so funny this place to me. Like, something as simple is, I can have a coffee. Would you like a medium coffee? I go, yes, please.

And they got, they hand me this. Is that a big coffee? No, that's a medium coffee in your country. In Europe, that's like an extra large. Oh. If somebody in Europe, if he ordered one of them in a coffee shop, I'd be like, he's weird. Yeah. Interesting.

I had a large today. And it was, you know, bigger than that. We like abundance. We like big things. Everything's big here. Lizzo. Crazy. We had to invent a drug that made people smaller because we're all so fucking fat. But it must be the food. It's got to be. It's got to be.

Look, your portions are demented. Crazy. I agree. But I love it. Me too. Exactly. But there's got to be something with the food because it can't just be portion size. No.

And then you look at videos of us in the 80s and we're all thin. Everyone is skinny. And if you were fat, it was like, look at this guy. Yeah. And now everyone's fat. But do you remember at school there was a fat kid? Yes, yes. I was that kid.

I was a fat kid growing up. But you walk around now and it just seems like Americans are just getting bigger and bigger. I know, I know. It's sad. And we spend the most on health care and everyone is the unhealthiest. We're way less healthy than other countries. Yeah. And we spend a ton on health care.

But I think those. two things are exactly related because you are the most unhealthy, you spend the most on health care. Maybe you're right. That's a good point. I think that's probably like when we are here for two weeks, we try to be very careful with food and we still come black bloated like we're fucking one. We're like one point one the size of what we were. You know what I mean? I know. Like 10% bigger across the board. It's a problem. You could just drink water here and you come back fat. Yeah, our water is fat. Well, that's my RFK. You're like, people, he's a kook.

He's got a bear head in his trunk right now. But we do need a wake-up call. It's kind of like Luigi. You shouldn't go around killing people, but our health care system is broken. So people are dying. People are getting shot over it. So as much as that guy's wrong, we should look into this whole system. Like the fruit loops aren't even, they're not legal in Canada, our fruit loops.

Because they have all these dyes in them. But how delicious do they taste? And they're so red and colorful. Yeah. It's exciting. So what's happening with Fruit Loops? Fruit Loops has a certain dye in it that makes them pop more, the color, in America. But in Canada, all those dyes are illegal.

And what does it do? It just makes it more colorful, but I think it's also harming our bodies. Right. But we want the color. We want the color. Yeah, America. We want the big coffee. We want the colorful fruit loops.

We want the fucking crust with pizza in it. cheese in it, our pizza. So we need more or more. It's never enough. We need bacon around other meats, you know. We have pork, pork chop with bacon around it or whatever. It never ends. We just want more, more, more. And that is your biggest weakness, but that's also your biggest strength. Right, right, exactly. Because that's why America is so magical. It's because you walk around and then everything that is done well in Europe has been. taken to about level 342. Yeah, we have a

Jaeger bomb. That's a cup of Red Bull that we put a shot of Yeager in and drink it. It's insane. Is that an American thing? Yeah, you never had one? Yeah, yeah, cool. I've had Yeager bombs, but I didn't realize it was an American thing. All the good stuff is it gets ported from America. I assume

it's got to be American. No British guys coming up with that. No guy in a turtleneck with an umbrella. Hey, I got to do a Yeager bomb. We have speedball. You know, That's where we invented that too. That's where you take, I guess it's heroin and coke. Yeah. We can't have enough.

Yeah. You need the up and the down at the same time. Exactly. We're insatiable. Yeah, it is. It is. But here's the thing. There's still a magic to this play.

That's a magic. I agree. You know. Yeah. And we're having a good time. Yeah. But like, would you want to do comedy anywhere else? Oh, I love going to England.

I love, I'm going there in May. I'm very excited. So, yeah, I'm going to Australia. but I would want to start comedy here this is the best place to live I think for comedy no offense yeah what New York yeah 100% there's a lot of people now in Austin

who are that's true but we can do the Austin argument all day I got a lot of thoughts on Austin what are your thoughts on Austin well I think the mothership is a killer club I think it's like one of the top clubs in the country it's so well designed the audiences are great pays well

great location but I knew there was a but After all that, it's still a smaller city with not a lot of other options for comedy. So people talk about it has this great scene, and it is, but it's really lynchpinning on that mothership. You take that out, whereas New York has 11 comedy clubs, multiple theaters, arenas, all this stuff. So I don't think this is even an argument. And is it also as well, look, you go to Austin, and actually I really like Austin. Me too. I love it.

And the thing I like the most about it are the people. I think the Austinites are just charming and warm and really polite and friendly and all the rest of it, right? But that's not going to make you funny, is it, Mark? It's a good point. It's a good point. And the weather's nice and the girls are pretty and all that. So I'm with you. But I will say Austin's this beautiful thing because it's right in the middle of the country, right at the bottom middle.

And it's kind of got the best of everything, and everyone's a little less worked up over there. In New York, everybody's on edge all the time. In L.A., everybody's too, hey, man, woodshig, hey, your house is on fire. Well, you got to do what you got to do, you know. But in Austin, it's like everyone's perfectly in the middle, and it's a lot more sane there. Yeah. So many fires in this country. It's crazy.

Long Island's on fire. North Carolina, L.A. Why do you think that is, Mott? I don't know. I don't know. I think there's always been fires, the great Chicago fire. I think, like, I looked it up. There's been more, there were more plane crashes at this time last year than this year, but we're seeing more of them now. Because like, D.E.I. and female pilots, everybody makes it a story. So everybody's like, planes are falling out of the sky, but actually more fell out of the sky last year. But we can just make a narrative. We can make a headline. We can make a story. Yeah, and then once you make a narrative, a headline and a story, then you can monitor. it for advertising. Exactly. It's fear-mongering and it works. We just gave everybody the model how to do that. Now there's lots of people

are just making millions. Well, to be fair, they already are. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I always say fires are the new school shootings in America. There's one a week and I've stopped caring. You guys don't have those, right? No. School shooting? Yeah. See, another place we dominate in America. We had one.

Really? And then we banned guns. And then we banned the guns. Whoa. So you guys are a little more stabby. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you're going to do it, do it an old-fashioned way. Exactly. I like that.

I like that. That's the difference in a country with history and no history. Well, I always say stabbing is like breaking up with someone in person. Shooting someone in a school, that's breaking up via text. You know, one takes a little high contact. You're like, this is hard for me too, you know. But the text is easy. Yeah, just fire it out.

It's a like, you know, it's a very American. thing to do. You want as many as in one go as possible. Right. We're all about the experience. Exactly. It's like the large coffee. We want more. We want more and it's not necessarily quality. Yeah. And to stab someone, you've got to put the work in. You've got to do some exercise. Exactly. Exactly. Which we don't want to do. No. But Mark, it's been an absolute pleasure having you on the show. Wait, is it over? Is it? Is it over? What time do we stop? What are you half an hour in?

When a half an hour in? What are you doing? I'm sorry. I thought we were... I can't believe that. Sorry. My apologies. Let's not include this bit. Yeah. I can't believe. I'm normally really good. Sorry, was I talking too much? Is that why we felt like longer? Oh, it's fine. Well done, mate. Yeah, thank you. We actually should include this bit. Yeah, I think we're going to keep it in. That was embarrassing. You guys do an hour, right? Yeah. Oh, geez, guy. Pre-matured Jackson. I don't know.

This is what your country does to me, Mark. I can't. I just, you know, you know what? I love this country so much. I genuinely do. I love it so much. I think it's brilliant. I think there's so much opportunity here.

Bar, blah, bar. I just, there are times where I just think, I don't think I could live here because it's just, it's just too much. Well, let me say, America is like your crazy, drunk psycho friend. Like, we have a lot of problems. We have a lot of drugs.

we have a lot of guns. But every time there's a world conflict, who do they call? You call the crazy guy. Hey, we got a war going on with Russia. Call us. Hey, we got a war going on with Gaza and Palestine. Call us. We're the go-to crazy guy.

We're ugly Americans. We're fat. We're stupid. We're illiterate. But you always call us when there's a fight. We always got to pick up the bar tab. Yeah. You are kind of the elder brother that we all virtually resent.

Yes, we're idiots. We live in our mom's basement. We're cleaning a gun and smoking a spliff. But when the fight goes down, we'll be there. Exactly. And that's, that's, and I don't think people emphasize this enough. That's such an important role. Because if we didn't have that in the world. Yeah, who are you going to call France? Get out of here. A bunch of hairy armpitted ladies smoking a cigarette. They're not going to help you. Yeah. And it's, it's just a really important role. And sometimes what worries me is that And I get why Americans are sick of it.

I get why you're sick of sending money and losing troops to war zones and all the rest of it. But I just sometimes feel that a world where America, and I'm not talking about interventions, but it's seen as a big brother is preferable to everything else. And even though it is by far not perfect. Yes, not by a long shot, but I'll take it. That's very nice. No country is going to be perfect. There's too many people here.

We have 350 million people of many different races. A lot of people, many immigrants, it's going to be friction. Yeah, it's inevitable. Yeah. Yeah, but I think what Francis is saying is like America being in that position is a lot better for everybody, including Americans, than if China was in that position or Russia was in that position. Completely agree. China's communist.

They got a bunch of slaves over there. We just don't call them out because we don't want to look anti-Asian. But they're fucked up. And we won their widgets. Yes, good point. We like their stuff. What's going on with London, by the way? I mean, all I see on the news is like Muslim fistfights and girls getting raped and all this shit.

I'm going to be honest you, mate. I've never seen those gestures done with those subjects. I was trying to think of everything. Yeah, you seem in a very celebratory mood. Well, it's nice to know that we're not the only ones that are fucked up. Look, starting a business is exciting, but it isn't easy. It's not just logos, merch and big ideas. It's late nights, awkward first sales,

and wondering if your bank balance is going to survive until Friday. That's why having the right tools from day one makes all the difference. Enter Shopify. Shopify powers millions of businesses around the world, from big names like Mattel and Jimshock to people just getting started on their kitchen table. It gives you hundreds of beautiful website, templates, built in marketing tools, even AI that will help you write product descriptions,

which, let's face it, we could have used for trigonometry back in 2018. Plus, did I mention that iconic purple shop pay button used by millions of businesses around the world? It's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet. Your customers already love it. Turn your big business idea into with Shopify on your side. sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com.uk. U.K. slash trigger. Go to Shopify.com.com.uk slash trigger. One more time, that's Shopify.

Dot co.org.U.K. slash trigger. You tell yourself, no one wants your college-era band teas, but on Deep Hop, people are searching for exactly what you've got. You once paid a small fortune for them at merch stands. Now, a teenager who calls them Vinciutto. We'll offer that same small fortune back. Sell them easily on Deepop. Just snap a few photos and we'll take care of the rest.

Who knew your questionable music taste would be a money-making machine? Your style can make you cash. Start selling on Deepop where Taste recognizes taste. Everything okay? I mean, look, I know the news again, everything's extreme. But how is it? I heard a guy said a Facebook post and he got arrested. Yeah, you guys pretty far.

really yeah damn yeah that's so sad yeah like economically we're pretty um and culturally as well yeah yeah what do you think happen you think we got too nice and people took advantage i think we've just had incredibly poor leadership for the last 15 years mark who have just been pursuing policies are ultimately destructive to the nation and if you're wondering why the tone has changed it's because we're talking about the UK before that we were all eh yeah America. Now Francis is like in the deep depression. We just, you know, just had poor leadership.

Well, I'm going over there in a month. Should I bring this up or should I steer clear? No, just bring a stab fist. Take the piss. Take the piss and bring a stab vest. Yeah, you'll be fun. Okay, okay. No, you know what it is?

It's an incredible country. It is. It still has amazing things. It still does. There's a magic about England. I think it's a very special place. Yeah. It's incredibly special.

And you see that with people when they first arrive, especially Americans, and they, you know, you look and you see, you see history, Mark. Yeah, 100%. Like real history. Real history. Yeah, well. Not the stuff you do here, real history. Things that are actually old. Yeah.

Yes, yes. But, you know, but there's, and that gives it a sense of, you know, gravitas. And it's just sad to see it kind of making the wrong choices. And they are choices. Is it curable? Can we, can you get out of it? We'll see. We'll see. I mean, for us, our political system is very different to yours. So it's a lot harder for any new voice to come through. Like the way Trump just came out of, like he was famous, but not political, right? Yeah. That happened quickly. All he had to do is put himself forward and start. Like, in the UK, you have to have a whole party of like 300 members of parliament, like 300 people. Oh, wow. So if you're starting something from scratch, it is very difficult. Yeah, yeah. Eat a wild card or something.

Well, even then. So, yeah, it's a much harder process, much slower process. But can't people see the writing on the walls and go, I know there's 300 of us, but we all need to figure this out? Yeah, well, right now, the party that I'm talking about, they have five, and they've got a fucking civil war within the party and they're all. Oh, gosh. They're each other's throats. Yeah. Yikes. Yeah. And they're not pure enough for some people. They're not racist enough for other people. It's like crazy. Yeah, interesting.

Yeah. Yikes. See, again, we always go, oh, these times are crazy, but you know, you look back to the French Revolution or, you know, pick any time in history. People can get their heads cut off and the brother killing the son or whatever.

I mean, there's all kinds. This is not new. No, no. It's just because we've got access to all of the news in the world at 30 seconds. And the thing that's going to rise at the top of the algorithm is obviously going to be something unspearl.

speakably awful. Right. So you're going to open it, you go, I can't believe 30 people have been shot in a nightclub in Belize. Yeah, yeah. That's terrible. And then you read all about it and you're like, oh, that's... I'll be honest you, man, I'm not that worried about Belize. My issue is when 30 people are blowing up down the road. That's a bit I worry about. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, all, you know, things happen in America that you just wouldn't have been aware of in Britain. It just makes... Yeah, but you're going to... Again, you can't say that because for me, our cultures are so closely knit together now because of the internet. Yes.

That's something that happens in America doesn't stay in America. Yeah. So we worry about Americans, not because we care about Americans, is because we care about ourselves. And we're like, oh, this is coming to us, whatever the fuck it is. No, but I think it's even more than that. I think it's just the content then just activates you. So it's, I just don't even think it's an intellectual thing like that. I think it's just purely an emotional reaction.

You see or read or hear something. You go into it and then you have a reaction to that. Yeah, but do you have the same reaction about something that happens in France? No, you don't. Why is that? Well, because American and British culture are very closely connected because we speak the same language. We watch your movies.

We watch your comedy specials. We watch your everything. So what we think increasingly, it's almost like a common Anglo-Sphere space. Yes. This shit that happens in Britain. also happens in Australia five years later. It's like a pipeline, you know, and it's not exactly the same because the culture gets shaped by whatever's going on locally. We reject some things. We accept some things. But a lot of it is downloaded from here. So that's why I think we care about American

stuff more than we do about what happens in other countries because it gets filtered down to us. It's like the hand-me-down. I care how you treat those trousers because I'm going to get them. Which is ironic is we were your hand-be-down. We came from you guys originally. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. One would he even say illegally, Mark? Sure.

Again, another crazy moment in history. You know, we act like these are the craziest time. But a bunch of British people came here and then killed a bunch of Native Americans and started a life. Yeah. It wasn't just the British. No. That's true. Everybody got involved, right?

Yeah. So, but now your president wants to reabsorpe Canada. Yeah. Are you pro-Canada's official? 51st state? I love Canada. I've been playing there for years. I have many Canadian friends, so I don't know if this is a great idea. Like, just let Canada be Canada, let Mexico be Mexico. We had a good relationship. It was our upstairs, downstairs neighbor, and we were the fun apartment, and he was the boring guy, and they were the guy we got drugs from.

So, now I'm like... It's a perfect neighborhood. Yeah, but I do think Canada has its problems. Like, even before Trump, like the truckers and all the Trudeau hate. Every time I go to Canada, What's up with Trudeau? They boo for like four minutes. It's crazy. So and then they got a might just be your audience. That's true. That's true. But they got a lot of indigenous stuff going on over there. And so I think Canada had his problem. But this, I just think this is unnecessary. I think we got bigger fish to fry. So Trump stir in this pot and then trying to say Gulf of America. I think all that is unnecessary. So I wish, I get it with the tariffs. The tariffs thing actually makes sense to me. I know that's like a radioactive term right now. But I kind of. to get it. Like, hey, why we'll just do reciprocal? You charge this, we'll charge that. Why are we paying way more? But again, I'm ignorant. But part of me, like, on paper, I'm like, that seems pretty normal. But again, I think we should have just, let's just let everybody live. What about Greenland? Greenland, I find is, I don't get that one either. That feels like a red herring. Like, hey, we're going to buy Greenland. Let's focus on that while I, you know, finger storeby Dandles over here.

You know, like the Jews were offered Greenland. Did you know that? I did not know that. Yeah, they were offered Greenland before Israel, and they said, too cold, we're going to the desert. Really? Yeah. So the Jews knew. Well, that's not looking like a good decision right now, is it?

That's true. That's true. I mean, you've never been to Greenland, mate. Yeah, I don't know. I think Greenland seems like it's quite peaceful and calm. That's true. In comparison, at least. Yeah, yeah.

So I think just he should have just let it live, because now we got more shit to worry. about. We have a lot on our plate already. Now we're worried about Canada. Come on. He's weird. I'm like, who picks a fight with the Canadians? Yes. And now they're booing us. I'm like, you guys were the nice ones. You guys supposed to be nice. You're not supposed to boo? You know what Canada is? Canada is your lovely little sister, who you love to pieces. And then she went to university and she got spitefully woke. It does feel like that, doesn't it? And then you, you mean, But you were lovely. What's going on?

Well, they've got rid of Trudeau, and they've replaced them with a guy who wasn't even elected. He used to be the governor of our Bank of England. Oh, a lot of red flags there. Not elected and bank guy? That's bad. So we'll see what happens, man. Yeah, we'll see. But nothing's perfect.

We forget, everything is this nuance and complexity. Nuisance is the new end word. That's what I've been saying. Martin Luther King, you know, hero, civil rights, leader, amazing guy, an icon. you know, crazy womanizer, hit women. So people are flawed. Churchill, your guy. Unbelievable.

What a badass. Beat the Nazis. He fucking hated Indians. He was like Indians are gross. Get rid of them. They're the worst. So like people... I don't think those were his exact words.

It should be fair. He was a brilliant writer. I think it was slightly more classy about it. Sure. The sentiment was, I'm sure, the same. Yeah, it was possibly more nuanced. Imagine we went back in history and it turned out that Winston Churchill told like Mark Norman.

That would be a disappointment. No. He's very eloquent, great writer. And a cool dude, you know, hitting the sauce at like 11 a.m. Legend. Yes, it was. Total legend.

Beat Hitler, stood up to the bully. But, you know, he didn't get reelected after that. It was so sad. After that, they were like, we've had enough of you. I don't, I think he did get reelected, actually. He did get reelected. I'm with Mark.

No, he's not. He did get reelected because he got, What happened is it had an election post-World War II, and he was kicked out. He lost that one. He lost that one. But then he came back. You're right. I think in the 50s he came back when he was a very, very old man.

I just think it shows you that the British, I'm grateful. Billy, am I right? I think he lost one, then won one later. So there was like, we'd have enough Churchill for now. We need a minute with Churchill. Yeah. Great guy. Didn't like Indian.

though, is your point? No, no, no. What's just fine. I don't know. Yeah, you're not like a group. You know, but you know what? No, you can't. I guess you're right.

What's up? There you go. So they had him back in after voting out. Yeah, after voting him out, which is, you know. But that is a little bit of ingratitude. How could you vote out the man who said we will fight them on the beaches? We didn't do it in Russia, mate. Stalin stayed right where he was.

What do I need to know about you? Ukraine. All I know is Zelensky dresses like a ninja. He needs money. He barely speaks the language. What do I need to know about Ukraine? You got some Nazis over there, but who doesn't? Well, basically. Well, every country in Eastern Europe has a small amount of Nazis, but the people in charge aren't Nazis. Sure. You know, I just hope it's going to be over soon, to be honest. Let's hope. Yeah. Trump's doing everything he can. Really? Is it sarcasm? No. Okay. No, Trump is genuinely trying. I'm quite surprised.

Like, I actually don't agree with a lot of the stuff the Wright says about Ukraine in this country. But I genuinely think Trump is really, like, to me, a surprisingly level of, like, genuinely trying to fix it. Yeah. It's my sense. The right is getting wacky. I just find with any group that is in power becomes a douche. Yeah. You know, men, women, women get in power.

Like, there's a woman who got a who works for META, CEO, who started me-toeing women. She was a lesbian. So I'm like, it's not a man-woman thing, it's just power. Yeah, you know? So we were talking about today over lunch, it's like, I almost feel like Twitter in particular, it's like the ring of power. And whoever has it, it has a slightly corrupting effect on it. Wow, that's interesting. You know?

And like when the left had control of Twitter, it was full of work retards. Yes, right? Now Twitter is increasingly full of right-wing retards. Yes. I made a Baron Trump joke. I got flammed. I got dragged all day long. And I'm like, you guys weren't mad when I was doing Greta Thunberg jokes.

No. Because they're like, he's so young. How dare you make fun of a young kid? I'm like, hey, he's 18. He's getting late at NYU. He's crushing pus. Yeah. So the guy, he's seven feet tall or whatever.

Let me make fun of the guy. I'll try to keep it even. Yeah. So everybody gets mad when you make fun of their thing. I don't care who you are. Yeah, but that's why you're cool. But most people don't want to keep it even. Yeah, and that bias will really make you blindsided.

And it's not just with comedy. It's like just like we comment on what happens seriously as well as comedically, right? And I always thought the job of people who are doing that is to call the balls and strikes. But everyone wants you to be on the field on their team.

And I don't understand why that's necessary. I completely agree. Like you can go, Elon's going old crazy, but Tesla's a great car. Or Trump's a fucking psycho. But man, is he funny? You're like, why can't we say both? People would get, like, I called Trump funny once and this lady like chewed me out. Just like, you're all right now.

I'm like, I said he's funny. He's talking about, he's doing this. He's doing retarge him. That's hilarious. I'm not saying it. I approve it. I'm saying it's hilarious. Why can't two things exist? Yeah. It's a, it's a silly, silly thing that's like, I'm all in on this. So now if your group kills a guy for no reason, you got to be all in on it. It's a kiss of death in an argument, I think. And it's a kiss of death, I think, for society. Yes. If you live your life like that genuinely I mean it's kind of tragic actually Yeah you must be eating away at your brain a little like You have to silence shit like I didn't think that was great But it's my side so I got to go with it I think the trans stuff had a lot of that in there

Yeah how do you mean I mean like the super far left I think saw some trans stuff and eventually was like Wait you're identifying as a turtle like I guess I got to go with it because I'm a super lefty and I'm progressive and for the LGBTQ community. By the way, enough with the communities. Well, it's too many communities.

Do I have a community? I'm a white guy. I guess we have a gated community. But yeah, so like, oh, you identify as a turtle that's fucking retarded, but I can't say it. So that's where I check out. Like, I've always been a left-leaning guy, but you're like, the turtle thing, that's silly.

And then if you call it silly, they go, what are you, a right-winger? And you're like, the turrets, she's a dress with a shell on. Like, what do you want from me? Can't we be sane? Let's just be sane. Well, now with that, we can end the interview without doing a half an hour early. Yeah, exactly. Wait, what do you guys think? Don't let me hang on there. Am I wrong? Am I right? You're obviously right. You're obviously right. You're obviously right. You just want sanity to win.

That's all I won the end of the day. Yeah, we were having a conversation about this. Yeah, I mean, look, we talked with Andrew Schultz about this, right? He was talking about the fact that when the pendulum swears from one extreme to that. It doesn't spend a lot of time in the middle. Right. I don't know if you feel that way. Yeah, the middle is, it's like a nice warm tub. Let's just hang out in the middle, but it's it's not exciting enough for people. No. That's it. That's it. Like you, the dopamine is so, so, such a powerful thing. Everyone wants to go hard. Yes. Online. Online. Yeah, 100%. And the question is, the thing that no one quite understands yet is the relationship between online in the real world. I can't tell you, like, some people will say, well, look, this thing happened

online. It's online. No one gives a shit. Right. Right. And then other people will say, yeah, but things that go online don't stay online, right? They manifest themselves in real world stuff. Yeah. Right. And I don't know, I don't know how you feel about that. I think online is more real than we think. Like, if you start tweeting about a guy being a pedophile, I think eventually it could catch steam and then the guy's life is ruined. So there is that part, but then there's the whole thing of like, I got a bunch of death threats once for a joke. And part of me was kind of like, should I be worried about this? Is somebody going to come to my house and kill me or see me out and kill me?

But then nothing happens. So you're like, all right, that's not real. Yeah. So I think it's 50-50. Yeah. It's interesting. All right. Well, head on over to Substack where you get to ask Mark your questions.

There you go. Oh, wait. No, no, we didn't do the last question. Oh, yeah, we didn't do the last question. I was going to say it's one or, but me cutting the interview in half was probably worse. Yeah, I'm missing out. What's going on? You guys are slipping.

Come on. Yeah, come on. Yeah, it is. It is. We are. Our high standards are stepping. So, final thing, question is always the same. What's the one thing we're not talking about that we really should be?

I think you said it best. Just the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, don't get too biased. Open your mind up, have some critical thinking. You got to check your friends. Start checking them going like, you know, when somebody goes, you know, and somebody goes, all Republicans are racist. And you're like, that's fucking crazy. Relax.

And then when the Republicans are like, if you, if you jizzed in a condom, that's, that's, an abortion. An abortion. Yeah. And you're like, what are you fucking nuts? So you got to start checking people. And we got to get out of this. We got to stop doing the right left thing.

It's too much. What side are you on? Even on TV, we put a D next to the guy's name or an R next to the guy's name. And then you go, all right, I know where they stand. But you don't. They're complex. They're human beings, you know? So I think break out of that and just enjoy people for who they are.

That's what we should be talking about. Enough of this. Like people go, Bill Maher is so cool. He has right wing people on. I'm like, he has people on. Enough with the identity bullshit. You know, I remember what Jeffrey Dahmer had that show on Netflix? They're like, Jeffrey Dahmer is killing brown people.

I'm like, he's killing people. Who cares for the color they are? He's killing him and eating them. He's a big weird gay guy who likes to say he's a cannibal. So just see people as people. Enough with what side they're on, what they look like, what race they are, what gender they are. Just treat everybody the same. That's racist.

Hit women is what I'm saying. If you're going to hit a man, hit a woman. No, I'm just joking. I'm a comedian. That is the most like pre-cancellation. Look, I'm a comedian. Don't cancel me. Just joking.

We're having a good time. You realize they're going to clip that bit out of all. Of course. Yeah, we're going to find out cancel cal to Israel. Yeah. All right. See, head on over to Substack. We'll see you there with your questions for Mark.

Do you appear to be an equal opportunities comedian when it comes to skewering politicians? Hey. How have you found the Trump presidency so far for providing material versus Biden's tone? Not loving your AT&T or T-Mobile bill? Yeah, we've been hearing that a lot. Good news. Bring your AT&T or T-Mobile bill to Verizon and we'll give you a better deal. So get away from that unfortunate phone bill.

and get to Verizon. Run, ride, canoe. Whatever it takes, we'll be here. Bring your AT&T or T mobile bill to a Verizon store today and we'll give you a better deal on the best network. A better deal.

No surprises. That's Verizon. Best network based on root metrics, best overall mobile network performance U.S. second half 2025. All rights reserved. It must provide a recent consumer mobile bill

in the name of the person who gave me the deal. Additional terms, conditions, and restrictions apply.