TRIGGERnometry - The Fall Of The UK - Francis Foster

Episode Date: June 12, 2025

Francis talks about the fall of the UK. Join our exclusive TRIGGERnometry community on Substack! https://triggernometry.substack.com/ OR Support TRIGGERnometry Here: Bitcoin: bc1qm6vvhduc6s3rvy8u76sllmrfpynfv94qw8p8d5 Shop Merch here - https://www.triggerpod.co.uk/shop/ Advertise on TRIGGERnometry: [e-mail] Find TRIGGERnometry on Social Media: https://twitter.com/triggerpod https://www.facebook.com/triggerpod/ https://www.instagram.com/triggerpod/ About TRIGGERnometry: Stand-up comedians Konstantin Kisin (@konstantinkisin) and Francis Foster (@francisjfoster) make sense of politics, economics, free speech, AI, drug policy and WW3 with the help of presidential advisors, renowned economists, award-winning journalists, controversial writers, leading scientists and notorious comedians. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm British and I love my country. I know that sounds a bit Brexit-y. You're probably wondering if the police were along shortly to check my thinking and throw me in solitary confinement because I once borrowed a copy of Douglas Murray's strange death of Europe from the library. But don't worry. It's just a joke. You're more likely to find a copy of the Torah in Abu Hamza's hands than a Douglas Murray book in a British library.

By the way, that joke works on two levels. Number one, because Abu isn't the biggest fan of Jews, and number two, because he doesn't have hands. We currently have people getting arrested and put in prison for tweets at a staggering rate. Roughly 12,000 people are arrested every year for things they write online. 12,000. We're putting people behind bars for tweeting while our jails are more stuff than Bonnie Blue. things have caught so bad that we're now letting sex offenders out early.

One was released after only serving 40% of his sentence and within a matter of hours sexually assaulted someone at the train station. What's a nonce gonna do when he's released into his natural habitat? That'd be like hiring someone from the BBC and expecting them to do fair and balanced journalism. And not nonce someone. Lucy Colony was given 31, months for an incendiary tweet and sex offenders get suspended prison sentences.

I don't understand the logic of this. You're not going to stop perverts reoffending with a slap on the wrist. If anything, it'll probably turn them on. The Labour Party are now openly talking about chemically castrating paedopholes, presumably by putting twice the amount of microplastics in their balls and the average man already has. At this point, our sperm is basically Lego. But the really good news is

we've now got someone even more useless as Chancellor of the Exchequer. Rachel Rees is so terrible at economics, she makes Latin American countries look like Zurich. In the UK, if you earn over £37,700, you get hit with a 40% tax rate. Socialists love this, as none of them will ever earn over £37,700.

In fact, socialists will never earn. What a wonderful way to incentivise people to sit on their ass and get them to do nothing. Because you know what you call a Brit with ambition? An American. We now have a cost of living crisis, energy crisis, migrant crisis, housing crisis. The only thing that doesn't seem to be in crisis is Boris Johnson's unfathomably fertile bullsack. He might be the only person who can stop our collapsing birth rate. Maybe he and Elon Musk can get together and repopulate the world until every child is,

either autistic or resemble some kind of inbred narcissistic Labrador. But maybe we don't need to have our own kids, as we've got an endless stream of illegal immigrants coming over in inflatable dinghies who want to live in the UK. You might be thinking these refugee bachelors wouldn't be desirable enough to become parents. When I met one guy in the seam who told me since he's moved here, he's managed to sleep with over 30 girls.

And five women. But at this point, all I can think is, why are they coming? If you're fleeing war-torn South Sudan, is East London really an upgrade? The only real difference is that the gangs in South Sudan have high literacy rates and better command of the English language. At least I know that if I get stamped by an illegal immigrant, they're going to do it properly and not half-asset like a British kid would. They'd be able to do 12 stabbings in the morning, and our boys would still be doom-scrolling zombie

knife unboxing videos in their bedroom. In fact, they'd probably stop halfway through that to sign on and drink a can of monster. Plus, if I did get stabbed by Nassim and his lads, I wouldn't have to hear words like, cuss and fam, as I slowly expire

on the pavement, surrounded by pubescent retard, dressed, head-to-time track suits, they've stolen from JD Sports. I'd really hate the last thing I'd see on earth to be some 12-year-old huffing on a triple melon vape, while he extinguble my consciousness over an iPhone 7.

Far better to hear the mostly peaceful cry of Allah Akbar in the original Arabic. So there we have it. A nation and collapse, a city about to descend into chaos, and we can't even talk about it because people are hypersensitive and irrational. Well, they did say the future is female,

so it does make sense. But remember the most important thing in all of this. It could be worse. Much, much, much worse. We could be French. If you enjoyed this, make sure to head over to my substap, well, you'll get incredible satire. If I do say so myself, just like this.

Link is in the description.