TRIGGERnometry - Why I’m Not A Fan Of Only Fans - Francis Foster

Episode Date: February 10, 2025

Why Francis is not a fan of Only Fans. Join our exclusive TRIGGERnometry community on Substack! https://triggernometry.substack.com/ OR Support TRIGGERnometry Here: Bitcoin: bc1qm6vvhduc6s3rvy8u76sllmrfpynfv94qw8p8d5 Shop Merch here - https://www.triggerpod.co.uk/shop/ Advertise on TRIGGERnometry: [e-mail] Find TRIGGERnometry on Social Media: https://twitter.com/triggerpod https://www.facebook.com/triggerpod/ https://www.instagram.com/triggerpod/ About TRIGGERnometry: Stand-up comedians Konstantin Kisin (@konstantinkisin) and Francis Foster (@francisjfoster) make sense of politics, economics, free speech, AI, drug policy and WW3 with the help of presidential advisors, renowned economists, award-winning journalists, controversial writers, leading scientists and notorious comedians. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why, I'm not a fan of only fans. Every single piece of content on YouTube seems to be about how the West is facing a complete moral collapse. It's either that, a cat, or an unboxing video. Maybe if we combine the three, I would be able to attain Mr. Beast levels of subscribers. To be honest, I think they may have a point. The total moral collapse of the West, not the unboxing ones. Everywhere I look, our culture seems to be descending into some kind of weird moral degeneracy. The latest example of this is the competition for the Ballande de Hoare.

The two main competitors are Lily Phillips and Bonnie Blue. Now, if you don't know who these two fine young ladies are, congratulations. You're a massive liar. Everyone knows who these two are. Stop pretending. We're all contaminated by the internet now. it's too late. These ladies are competing to have sex with the most men in a 24-hour period.

This truly is the Leonel Messi versus Cristiano Ronaldo of 2025. The only thing worse than the women are the men involved. What man waits in a queue longer than the one needed to book a GP appointment to have sex with a woman? That's right. Men who identify as sex positive. The only thing positive about these boys will be the results of their STD tests. And then they get interviewed afterwards like some kind of weird in-self football player. And the worst bit is, they only get two minutes with her.

To be fair, I've destroyed my reputation and acts that have taken less than two minutes. But at least they weren't recorded. And I didn't have to wait in a queue to make a twat out of myself. The depressing thing is that 2% of American women between the 8% of 8% of women between the ages of 18 and 45 are on only fans. That's one in 50. And most of them don't even earn $1,000 a month. Can you imagine how soul destroying that must be?

Getting your vagina out and asking the world how much it's worth. And the world goes, $7. You've only got six subscribers and one of them's your dad? Brutal. And then what do you do when you retire from only fans? Because once the content is a lot of them, out there, it's out there. And trust me, if you have kids, they're going to get destroyed at school. Imagine if your mum was a webcam girl. Your life would be made a misery. But maybe at that point,

everybody's mum would be on there. So the weird kids would be the ones whose moms didn't get their minge out for the subs. Do you remember in the 90s when we used to look at the Amish and go, ugh, that's so weird. But now you're not. look at them and go, actually you were right all along. How do I sign up? They even forbid people from taking their photos. Who likes having their photos taken? Weirdos and narcissists. YouTube is basically. I'm a YouTuber. And even I want out. Do you remember that afternoon you left your phone at home and the bliss that you felt? Well, if you join the Amish, you're going to be doing that forever. I can't imagine they go on each other's Instagram accounts and get jealous because

someone has a bigger plow. Well, maybe the women. And maybe the men if they're that way inclined. Something needs to be done because we can't keep going down this path. At what point are we going to be able to say enough is enough? Because we can't keep going down this nuclear porno arms race. Something has got to give. Otherwise everyone's going to be. on Only fans, including me. And no one wants to see that, least of all you. Warning, the following ZipRecruiter radio spot you are about to hear is going to be filled with F words.

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