TRIGGERnometry - Woke to the Left of me, snowflakes to the Right - Francis Foster

Episode Date: August 2, 2024

"These people on the Right are no better than those squealing low testosterone genderless blobs that have a meltdown every time Ricky Gervais makes a joke about illegal immigration"... Tickets to Francis' show with Leo Kearse on 23rd August: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/hammersmith-comedy-club-presents-francis-foster-and-leo-kearse-wip-tickets-952556982577? Francis' Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/francisjfoster/?hl=en Francis' X: https://x.com/francisjfoster?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor Join our exclusive TRIGGERnometry community on Locals! https://triggernometry.locals.com/ OR Support TRIGGERnometry Here: Bitcoin: bc1qm6vvhduc6s3rvy8u76sllmrfpynfv94qw8p8d5 Buy Merch Here: https://www.triggerpod.co.uk/shop/ Advertise on TRIGGERnometry: [e-mail] Join the Mailing List: https://www.triggerpod.co.uk/#mailinglist Find TRIGGERnometry on Social Media:  https://twitter.com/triggerpod https://www.facebook.com/triggerpod/ https://www.instagram.com/triggerpod/ About TRIGGERnometry:  Stand-up comedians Konstantin Kisin (@konstantinkisin) and Francis Foster (@francisjfoster) make sense of politics, economics, free speech, AI, drug policy and WW3 with the help of presidential advisors, renowned economists, award-winning journalists, controversial writers, leading scientists and notorious comedians. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Carvana. Delivery fees may have. Hey everyone, stop canceling comedians for jokes. Left-wing people love canceling comedians more than they love screaming, my body, my choice, whilst ramming a seventh booster up your ass. But that's enough about Destiny's Love Life. And now, the right decided, if you can't beat them, cancel them, which is weaker than a Hannah-Gadsby punchline.

Kyle Gass, one of the members of the comedy rock band Tenacious D, made a joke at a concert. He was presented with a birthday cake and asked to make a wish. He said, don't miss Trump next time. I do think he should be cancelled for that joke, because it's rubbish. It's so bad I can feel the left winger in me want to give it a round of applause. And of course, loads of right-wing people had a tantrum about this, leading to the band's tour being cancelled. They behaved exactly like woke people when Dave Chappelle cracked a few gags about trans people.

Look, that's not fair. Dave Chappelle cracked billions of gags about trans people in those specials. He was banging on about the trans debate for so long, I felt like I was in a trigonometry interview from 2019. Look, the way this works is you get to joke about whatever and whoever you want, and I get to not watch it, which is why I never watched Nanette. If I want to see a lesbian fake moaning for 50 minutes whilst making millions,

I'll go on Onlyfans. Or watch my new podcast, Francis Foster, sorts your life out. The only difference between me and Hannah Gadsby is I don't make millions. That and I've got jokes. Same haircut, though. Everyone on the right gave Chappelle a standing ovation for his show and deservedly mocked woke people for trying to cancel him. But now they're celebrating Kyle Gass's cancellation.

The right and left now look exactly the same. Due to the fact that everyone's offended, morbidly obese, and the mullets come back into fashion. This isn't the right approach to take. As Gandhi said, an eye for an eye makes the world go blind. But then again, if Gandhi lived today, he'd be labelled as a white supremacist coconut by the left and a pedo snowflake cuck by the right, then cancelled by both. Next week, he'd be in this very seat talking about the woke mob. You can't have it both ways.

Either you defend someone's First Amendment rights, or you don't. Which one is it? And for those of you who say, it wasn't a joke. Shut up. Tenacious D described themselves as a comedy rock band. I know what you're about to say, and you're right. Musical comedy is crap. But free speech is free speech.

Nacea's D's job is to make you laugh through the medium of music. So things they say at their comedy rock show should be seen as comedy. That means they're making jokes, not political statements. These people on the right are no better than those squealing low testosterone genderless blobs that have a meltdown every time Ricky Jervais makes a joke about illegal immigration. Woke people see words as violence. Therefore, Ricky's jokes are violent to illegal immigrants. If there was a physical confrontation between Ricky and a migrant,

I know who my money would be on, and it ain't Ricky. I doubt Ricky would last five minutes on one of those dinghies heading over from Calais. In fact, I'd put my money on the genderless blob to batter all of them, migrants included. I'd just whisper it and they them ear at the beginning of the fight that they'd been misgendered and watch them unleash hell. It'd be like watching a combination of a berserker and a jellybaby. Plus, if I filmed it and uploaded it to YouTube, I'd make so much money I'd never have to work again.

The title would be, genderless blob versus illegal alien versus Ricky Jervase. I'd love to call it, genderless blob versus illegal alien versus predator. But the only way that would happen is if I swapped Ricky for Russell Brand. But that video would definitely get taken down and it wouldn't be for the violence. But the worst are comedians who cancel other comedians for jokes. To me, these people are worse than paedophiles, because at least pedos are capable of producing great art. I could name you a whole list of great artists who are perverts, but I couldn't name you a single funny comedian with pronouns in their bio. Look, all comedians are mental.

But thinking men can become women is a level of insanity that seems to prevent you from understanding how to write a joke. Ever since Trevor Noah became woke, he treats jokes in the same way he treats basic female biology. by pretending that it no longer exists. If only we could do the same to Trevor. But I don't want to cancel Trevor. I don't want to cancel any comedian, right, left or centre. The only comedians I want cancelled are the sexual predators, and they're easy to spot.

They're the ones who identify as male feminists. Guys, if you've enjoyed this monologue, thank you. I have a show on the 23rd of August in Hammersmith Comedy Club with the Great Leo Curse. Come down. The link will be in the description.

It's going to be a blast. And follow me on all socials at Francis J. Foster and my podcast, Francis Foster, sorts your life out.