Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 101: Kitsch Mitch

Episode Date: June 13, 2019

This week we dive into the 12th and latest iteration of the sure-to-be-successful Ditch Mitch campaign. Come to our show with Street Fight in Lexington on Friday, June 14th, 9pm at Best Friend Bar. $10 cover. Tickets are selling fast: https://store.streetfightradio.com/collections/frontpage/products/street-fight-radio-trillbillies-live-show-6-14-lexington-kentucky And subscribe to the Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

she violated you in a way you never thought possible it was unbelievable this happened months ago but i guess i forgot to tell y'all but i interacted with her again this weekend and it all came rushing back to me well well we were at a punk show in lexington so it was loud we were at like the green lantern or something and i was literally i mean i just came out of the bathroom. So I was like near the front, near the like stage. It was very loud. She beelines it to me.

And this is someone I'm just like not excited to see ever anyway. She beelines across the room. And she starts talking to me. And I give her the old like, oh, I can't hear you. And I'm just like, sorry, I can't hear you. Bye. This bitch takes her index finger sticks it against the small piece in your ear that when you push it in helps you hear better in a loud situation pins me to the fucking wall with her index finger and then

proceeds to talk in my ear for the next like five minutes i felt like she paralyzed me wow it felt like i was paralyzed i was just like had both hands down pinned to the fucking wall well by her index finger just like you gotta hear this i could not fathom what was happening to me i felt so insanely violated her finger was in my fucking ear yeah you don't do that to people well that's what i said everyone that i've told about this i was like have you ever heard of anybody doing that? And they were like, no. And finally someone said, that's the first time that's ever happened. That is a physical manifestation of clout chasing.

That's the only thing that leads to that. Or I would say an insatiable need to have your voice heard. Just absolutely have to get your voice heard. Just absolutely have to get your fucking point across. Stuck her index finger into my ear. What did she say?

Were you just too appalled? I barely remember. All I remember is rantings about coffee. So it couldn't have been that damn important.

No, it wasn't important. She's never said one important thing to me. Wow. Wow. Well, but now you important. She's never said one important thing to me. Wow. Wow. Well, but now

you're business partners. Fuck you. So anyway. No. So now you're starting a co-op. No. Well,

welcome to my house. I got a new shaved... Oh, my God. Leon looks like a fucking actual tiger-ess. Yeah, I kind of feel... In the wild. Should I feel bad?

Has... Are cats self-aware about their appearance? Has Leon seen a window? If any animal is, I bet cats are. A mirror, I mean. After the last time I got him shaved, he disappeared for like two days. And the vet told me, like,

he's going to be really embarrassed, you know. So I, because, you know, they're very obsessive about their coats, you know, and grooming themselves. So he knows what he looks like. He looks crazy. He looks streamlined, smooth. I like him like that.

I mean, I do too. It's like in a nice high top fade or something. It's way better than all the wads, knots he was dealing with. Yeah, yeah. Well. I asked you if they called CPS on you because he was knotted up so bad. That's why he had the child welfare check on him. They were going to come take the cat.

We're going to confiscate your feline, Mr. Ray. Speaking of child protective services, yesterday I was thinking about something that I never put two and two together about this until I became a leftist. But did you ever know any rich person that ever got CPS called on them? Oh, good point sam was me and sam were talking about this on the way to lexington yesterday it's like rich kid rich people have to beat the shit out of their kids and like abuse their kids and everything else too but have you ever known anybody to do like a child welfare check at like

a rich person's house well i guess cPS is an extension of the police state. Yeah, I mean, it makes total sense. They were protecting. I mean, they are targeting poor people. I hadn't thought of that either. I guess it's hard to generalize, but when I think of rich people abusing their kids, I think of like these,

I think of like fucked up psychological. Yeah. Yeah, it's very psychological. And like the Munchausen by proxy stuff oh my god that kind of stuff yeah um like that kind of abuse like when they're like they're like a parent makes their kid feel like they have a disease or something that they don't have oh i've been watching that crazy that show on hbm the Act. You're talking about that. That doesn't count. Look who decided to join us.

And look, we're already... Hey, look like a fucking bozo over there. Oh my God. PB's freaking the fuck out. I know. She fucking... She's losing it.

She's losing it. I can't believe she's so upset. She's so upset about her. I don't... Like, how could she be so dumb to not realize that it's her her brother you think she thinks this is a foreign cat and coming in the house yeah yeah i guess so leon it's okay

oh wow it's leon you fucking dunce she's so stupid i swear to god she's the stupidest fucking cat so stupid i swear to god she's the stupidest fucking cat oh poor leon that's like i got a bad haircut and and nobody likes it yeah yeah it's okay leon you can hang out with us us down here cats are so fucking weird you can just hear it in the background she is like wheezing and backing up the steps wailing i know she's a baby just any slight change to her immediate environment she just gets so absolutely does she do this when you get a haircut i don't know would you shave your beard if she was freaked the fuck out? Maybe. I would have to try it. Well, anyways. Go after Leon.

Leon does keep kind of fucking with her. He'll slowly go up the stairs. Like, what's wrong? Why are you mad? That's exactly what's happening. Wow. This is wild. Well, sorry, guys.

This does not make for great podcasting. Tell us how you really feel, PB. This does not make for good podcasting at all. Anyways, um... Anyways, so what's going on? How was your sexy sex ed today? It went good. You said it's two hours.

Did you get a lot of questions yeah but it's also just a bigger group so it takes longer yeah yeah i mean it wasn't that big but it's about 15 yeah but and yeah it just they always kind of drag on but yeah there were good questions so this group was um 15 year old 16 year olds yeah Yeah Is that a little older or younger than your usual That's right About 15 to 18 I got a question How do people younger than 18

Get sex toys Because we talked a little bit about sex toys And I was like If you are already ordering stuff online Just definitely order it online Because most Sex toy companies have really discreet packaging you know unless you're afraid your mom's going to open it while you're at school or something but i mean the other workaround is there are plenty of massagers at walmart you can get and just like tell your mom there's a

crick in your neck or something that won't go away get the massager unless you get the high touchy one then she's gonna know exactly what you're using that for. Yeah. Well, you can't even get those at Walmart. Or I would have recommended that. A 16 year old, though, has told me after sex ed that them and their friends all bought electric toothbrushes.

Used them like bullets. Well, yeah. It's probably cheaper than a bullet, right? No, you can get bullet cheap. Electric toothbrushes are weirdly expensive. $60, $70. Yeah, my mom wanted one for Christmas, and I was like, are you sure this is what you want? I've never used an electric toothbrush.

Me neither. They're ridiculous. I got one. I do analog. That is a gift. You got one that's a gift. Yeah. Yeah, so worst case scenario, ask for an electric toothbrush.

Makes sense. yeah so um you know worst case scenario ask for an electric toothbrush makes sense they might wonder why you're not using it to brush your teeth because you can't do both really right right one or the other i think um so uh did you listen to my radio yesterday my radio show yesterday um i was talking about like did you see that story in the new york times last year about glitter It was kind of a big viral thing for a few days Like the glitter industry Has a like a mysterious Is that That's creepy

It's just howling and wailing and gnashing of teeth over here It's hard to actually focus on anything Because it's like anguish When did this happen when When did Leon get shaved? Yesterday? This morning. Oh, this is very new. This is entirely new.

I'm sorry. I had to take him over there this morning. I didn't know she would do this. I didn't have her last time I got Leon shaved. Poor Leon. I feel so bad for him. He's been shunned out of his own home. Just ostracized.

Well, I'll shun her. I'll fucking kick her out. Wow. Wow. Wow. We can stop this real quick if you want, and I can try to figure something out. I'm into it. It's hard to fucking focus on anything. Just cat drama.

I can't believe the standoff they're having. Why she won't go on up the steps? Leon wants to be accepted. She wants to accept him. But she has to get past this own, her own sort of mental block about it. Prejudice is about shaved cats. That's right.

This is a classic metaphor in prejudice. Leon just looks so humbled, doesn't he? He does. He just looks so humbled, doesn't he? He does. Looks like he's been humiliated. Shoot up and spit out and booed off stage. It's like I told you,

he's going to feel a lot better in a few, especially in the next few summer months when it's fucking 100 degrees. He's going to feel great. If he gets past

this initial hump of prejudice. He looks how Tom's going to look next Friday night at the end of your all show. This Friday night. Oh, yeah, it's this Friday night. It's this Friday night. Yeah, yeah. This Friday night.

And what, this will drop on Thursday? Yeah, this will come out on Thursday. So this will be the day before Our show You You have no idea Tanya How

What you're about to miss out on Actually It's the other way around It's the audience That's missing out It's true From me Yeah

Yeah Well We said this morning It's like sending ringo and george to play a beetle show it's no it is true i don't know if you've checked the itunes reviews lately but the last three or four are all about you why don't y'all alert me to this well hey we ain't done your homework for you yeah i can never even find them. I was about to go look, but I'll wait. I can't even find iTunes reviews. Yeah. Well, basically the gist is Tonya Turner has a nice backing band.

We just wish she would come out on stage more. I'm on every fucking week. What do you people want from me? You gotta be on the Patreon too, dog. That's what they want That's what they're calling for You don't even tell me when you record Patreons Actually, I do

And every single weekend You are like, I gotta go to Tennessee Actually, I literally have told you This week I'll be in Austin, Texas Whatever Next week I'll be in Austin, Texas. Whatever. Next week I'll be in Denver, Colorado. I wish.

Yeah. Tony's been everywhere, man. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mainly might clamp it on the poster. Did you not like that? No, I liked it. What a... So back to sexy sex in what did you get anything else that was good um talked a lot about consent that came out a lot like one of the quick one of the anonymous

box questions was uh why do men have so much trouble with consent like what's their problem what was your answer well i don't always just directly answer i ask who if anyone else wants to talk about it and so a few girls talked about some good stuff um but it was very like in uh interpersonal stuff and so then i talked about how it's like structural and very cultural um what we're dealing with um and as bell hooks teaches us patriarchy is everyone's problem and everyone um perpetuates it and benefits from it at various times yeah so it's actually something we're all gonna have to pick away at right right um oh what i was gonna say about glitter though um you set this up well i was well i was like i was talking with rachel garringer yesterday

and we were trying to figure out like um uh so the glitter industry has a huge um buyer of glitter you, but a mystery buyer. They will not reveal who it is. Barry Amber, give Wasburg Pizza Hut. Oh, my God. Don't come for Barry. God, I love Barry. He is, as Tom says, the best host.

He's the LeBron James of Waitstaff. The LeBron James of Waitstaff. He is. Hey, Tom. Well, next Tuesday, they're having a big fundraiser for him at Pizza Hut. Really? Really? Where'd she go?

He has cancer. Oh, shit. Really? Yeah. I hate to be the bearer of this news. God damn. I wasn't ready for that. Well, I like Barry.

I apologize. Well, so the glitter industry has a massive mystery buyer. And in this article I was reading, the interviewer, the New York Times reporter, was like, can you tell me who it is off the record? And the employee of this glitter corporation was like, no. She was like, can you tell me after we publish the story and the person was like no like if it can never get out who who who is the largest purchaser of glitter it's trump yeah yeah do you think it might be it's trump she said one thing

that she said why are they playing it so close to the chest you think i don't know she said it you wouldn't even know that it's glitter, is what she said. You wouldn't know that it's glitter. So me and Rachel Gerringer were speculating that it might be in sex toys, because sometimes you buy a dildo or something that has a sort of glittery sheen. But I don't know why they wouldn't just sort of come out and say that. Some people said maybe explosives. Fireworks.

Yeah, could be. If the U.S. military... Yeah, could be fireworks. That's a good guess. Well, I don't know. So anyways. Guesses. That was my unsolved mystery yesterday on my radio show.

You would know they're a glitter bomb. Goddamn, my 30th birthday. I was feeling demoralized. I wanted to go have a nice beach vacation, but everybody bailed on me. Tanya picked up the slack, though, but what she didn't calculate was that perhaps I wasn't ready for that slack to be picked up. Now I remember just coming home from a long day there at Pound Lake

sun burnt fucking had something of a buzz going just wondering what my next move was god damn I didn't take account that Tanya and Liz had slid out of there early

I was just walking up my steps, just demoralized. Just a normal Tuesday. Lucky my dad. Next thing I know, just glitter bombed. And that glitter is still in your house. I'm still sweeping it up. Well, this woman who worked at the Glitter Corporation had tips for removing it. Oh, did she?

Yeah, she said use soap and water. That's all she said. It doesn't work. Wow. No, there's not enough soap you can do to undo that. And also just the psychological part that comes with it. Right. I thought it'd be nice.

I thought waking up the next day to glitter all over your house would be nice after your birthday. You glitter bomb people you hate. You don't glitter bomb your friends. You glitter bomb your boss. Or like a politician that's anti-gay rights. This wasn't regular glitter. It was like little star shaped. It wasn't the tiniest kind that gets into

every crack. That's true. It was like a cross between glitter and confetti. Right. It was. You're you're right however it still stuck watch your ass turn or something like that you can glitter by me i'm fine with it bring on the glitter you're made of glitter it won't be nothing just roll off um so but you saying sex toys reminded me of them. You're talking about sex toys? Well, yeah. And also we talked about how sex toys, this is a real problem with the sex toy industry

is that a lot of cheap sex toys are actually only meant for one time use because they're not a type of fabric that you can wash well. They're not hygienic? No, they're not hygienic. And they can get away with it're not hygienic. No. They're not hygienic. And they can get away with it because they're called toys. Like if they put toy not for professional use

on the packaging, that means it's one-time use, but they don't have to say that. It's pretty bad. Wow. So I told these kids, save up your money, get a good one. Yeah. That's good advice. That's good advice. That's good advice. And we'd send them all home with about six hits of Plan B.

We're sitting on a stockpile. Send them home with six hits of acid, Plan B, and all the Hitachi magic wands you can think of. wands you can thank god yeah and i even like because i i had you know as one of my many spiels in sex ed is that like masturbate it's really important for your health masturbation is just really a really important just health like you you explore all the parts of your body and you need to be monitoring what's coming out of your body including cum and vaginal fluid if it's not if it if there are changes in that then that can that is an indicator of like something's wrong something's not right just like you should look at your poop it ain't great it ain't nice to look at your shit but you need to know what tell you a lot about your health your tongue your pee yeah pee. Yeah. We don't have...

Your body, you know, your body has only so many ways to communicate with you. That's true. That is certainly true. Don't wait until there's blood coming out of your eyes. So then, of course,

I got the fucking question, how do you learn how to masturbate? God damn it. So when you get that kind of question, are you hesitant to actually say anything specific no not usually i've been doing this for seven years and i've never had one parent come for me so i say whatever the fuck i want until the end of times i guess until someone actually comes for me about it so why do you not like the question though

just because it's like because it's such a it's such a personal thing it's like you feel weird talking about the mechanics with underage kids yeah it's like these are teenagers and i mean the question the answer is generally like explore your body fit you know you you cannot expect other people not even doctors to know more about your body than you do you are an expert in your body and so doctors can give you advice based on sound medical knowledge but you know what's going on with your body like and you have to be able to communicate that to a health care professional similarly with with sexual partners or even you know even if you're not trying to have sex if you're not having sex fine because a few of the kids were like i'm asexual okay well sexuality is fluid

and can change so just and you don't have to be having sex with anyone to have reproductive health issues right and there's nothing wrong being asexual no no there's nothing wrong at all but there there's no reason asexuality is not a reason to deny any knowledge yeah to like not want to hear information um because i also talk a lot about how we're all in this political climate we all have to be responsible for each other's health we have to have like a little bit we have to be able to share knowledge and like help each other navigate the fucked up health care system yeah yeah as a part of mutual aid yeah yeah so and it's just like we're we have less and less access to lots of different health care reproductive health primarily and many others anyway i just said you know you have to explore explore your

body just um feel around down there and eventually it'll start feeling good. There is no normal, but there is like you have to know what's going on with your body. Like one of the questions was, how do you know how much vaginal fluid is too much? And it's just like heartbreaking because it's like girls are being shamed for coming too much or something. You know what I mean? Like getting too wet. That's what's happening. Thank you.

Oh, you pissed me off. He's like, what in the hell are they doing? We're just oh you can't smell he's like what in the hell are they doing we're just talking about spots in our dicks and we're talking microphones yeah sick on leon that man can't get out of here alive he's seen too much damn the natural environment of my house has really made its way into this episode quite bizarre our screaming cats our esteemed studio god at least the snake ain't been drugging here yet yet yeah anywho yeah it's a lot of very i told you i've told you all this before it's like the most innocent questions

are the most heartbreaking because people kids literally have no one to talk to about this shit. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And the way that they know how to gain information by Googling it just leads you to porn. Right. Like, I mean, I can't even, I have, you know, I have like six or seven like articles and stuff about sexy sex ed and you can't find any of them through Google. Like you can't just Google sexy sex ed and find any of the stuff I've done. Cause it's all porn.

Really? Yeah. Wow. That's crazy. Tanya's coming for a porn hub. The whole internet's going to be porn in like, I don't know, 10 years.

They're buying up every website. I support it. Honestly, the internet sucks. Right. And they just need a shot in the arm. We have to turn this podcast into porn to catch up with the times i'd say we're already there i'd say we're already muddy oh yeah we are adult we

are considered adult content yeah what are what are some of the um like like uh most memorable questions you've gotten like um particularly i'm interested from from like young guys that would like yeah go you know what i'm saying because i'm just interested in the type of young guy that would go out of his way for this that's encouraging it's an encouraging sign for the well there have been plenty of young guys who are like in a program where i come and do this and they have to do it yeah it's like they well they, well, they could leave if they want, but then they look like an asshole, you know? Yeah.

They look like the dick who can't handle it. Oh yeah. Um, nobody wants to be that guy. Most of them are funny questions. Like I think I've mentioned this one even recently, uh, trying to get one over on me.

Like, oh yeah, well, what's a, a thin sizzle or something? Oh, the strawberry swirl. Yeah.

Strawberry swirl. It's like weird what's a cincinnati bow tie what's a cincinnati bow tie like trying to get one on me and even if i know i'm like tell us just to see and they never will say it in the class yeah but um i don't know i feel like i've had questions about positions before it's like how do i get my girlfriend to do this or some shit it's just like you don't bitch this is not coercion yeah go away no i'm like well you know i've told you all this this could uh this class could also be called sexy communication because it's all about communication and actually communicating with what you're with your partner about what they want is uh the first

act like the this like the start starting line that's what to do in the beginning from jump street right but today it was pretty run the mill it's like some questions about birth control um birth control options which we some questions about birth control, birth control options, which we go over every birth control option. And, oh, someone asked if they could, I guess it was a girl, because the question was, can I date a man and still identify as bisexual oh let me answer that one yes yeah i know this one oh that was pretty cute did you uh did you stun on them with your bodily fluids question oh yeah yeah has anybody answered that correctly first try

people who've been through 66 ed already i have a lot of repeat offenders that come multiple times because everybody's like sits back like don't let her get you on this one well this is it's it's not really like a gotcha it's like um it's a group like y'all just popcorn them off what are the five and people are always like mucus saliva sweat what the fuck kids think you're i mean this is how kids end up thinking that they have stds before they've had sex because they've bumped up against somebody in soccer yeah yeah what's a low-key bodily fluid that we don't really think about breast milk titty milk is the fifth one right titty milk but what is another low-key breast what is another low-key bodily fluid we

don't really think about like uh pre-cum uh hold on hold on now no you know i'm you know i'm a truther about this i'll i'll go on the record as saying this, kids. No matter what Tanya tells you, you can't get a girl pregnant with pre-cum. That's false. That's a lie. You're sitting over here perpetrating lies from Big Condom. Who told you that, Uncle Roy? Who told him about the boots?

The still-toe boots? Don't worry about who told me that. That was Bird Dog. Is this another legend phone a friend um i from what i understand though it seems like you're both arguing the same there wait no you're very much not arguing the same thing you're very much saying that you can get someone pregnant from pre-cum and you're saying that you cannot i'm saying is this a bit i'm saying yeah it's a bit he don't believe this i should have carried it on a little further for

i said it was a bit i'm sorry look how pb's come back down the steps this is getting crazy yeah no this is leon's had enough look at this he's going to the super saiyan mode and just do you think pb's gonna attack no? No, she's a total coward. I think she's starting to figure it out, because right now she can only see Leon's face, and she's being like, whoa, that's Leon. Same cat. That's my friend.

Wow. Yeah. She's just like, who did this to you? Who did this to you? She really looks so concerned. Who did this to you? I'll kill to you? She really looks so concerned. Who did this to you? I killed whoever it was. It was Terrence.

Kill Terrence. So how was any memorable seed time stories? I got to hang out with Amethyst Kia. Yeah. Oh, God. I have such a crush on her. How was that? She's incredible.

And she's so hot. And I was so nervous. I botched the name of her How was that? She's incredible And she's so hot And I was so nervous I botched the name of her Songs of Our Native Daughters Her newest Like the last project she did Yeah With Rihanna Giddens

I botched it bad In my I did an interview I interviewed her For the radio Oh She's so hot How'd you botch it?

I couldn't even think of it I was like Songs of Our Native Daughters Blah blah blah she laughed she corrected me it was fine but um well damn i was i was feeding the masses that was fun yeah oh here's a highlight ordered pizza i went waited on it i got the meanest text ever come get your fucking pizza for me hey you were the only person that texted though hey come get your fucking pie yeah i just get a text it just says come get your pizza like god damn he could have said your pizza's ready i didn't want to like i didn't mean it like that in the moment i was

like very busy you're working next to a 700 degree oven and And I had a lot of stuff going on. But I just didn't want it to go cold. And I know cold pizza is fine. I just like, you know, you order a fresh pizza. Fresh. It was good too. It doesn't feel good working, man. Yeah. It feels good.

I'm not even exaggerating. It feels pretty great. I mean, physically, I felt like shit for a few days. But now, you know. Yeah. I'm okay. I still don't know if I'm recovered from seed time. It was just.

Yeah. It was a lot of fun. I got to. We had a killer lineup this year. It's like we're planning a fucking killer event for 12 people. Mm-hmm. If nobody comes. Yeah.

Look. Look. She figured it out. That's called comes. Look. She's figured it out. That's called friendship. That's called friendship. Who did this to you? She went over there and now she's kissing on him. Sniffing him.

Hello you baby. She's figured it out. She figured out it's Leon. It only took her three hours. It was the couch illusion. She had to just see Leon's face to recognize recognize him let that be a metaphor for all friendship if if at first you've changed substantially and your friend doesn't recognize you hide behind a flowery uh questionable couch where only your face can be seen and then they'll recognize then they'll recognize you god um well what's going on in the world today folks all right And then they'll recognize you. Then they'll recognize you. God.

Well, what's going on in the world today, folks? All right. Later. Let me tell you. So I wanted to, Tanya was earlier, I was texting with Tanya, and she said, what did you say, Tanya? She said, I'd love to meet the asshole behind that original. We were talking about the Ditch Mitch campaign. And I said.

We're on Ditch Mitch 12.0 right yeah i said you're in luck because today we'll get to meet the asshole behind the dish well honestly what i thought is i was like tom has stooped so low to start creating content for us to drag he's made i got made up look here guys hey you believe this shit huh we're gonna start creating all this right wing bullshit that we can take down. Right, right. That'd be so embarrassing to get caught in that. You'd be canceled for sure. So, someone...

So, Ditch Mitch. Is it someone we know? Is that the twist ending? No, it's not. It's a scam. It's a straight-up scam it's straight up scam tom you know tom was on twitter you were like well we're doing this for the 12th time and it's sort of true but the truth is is that it's not affiliated with the kentucky democratic party

in any way it's not even um it's not even affiliated with any potential opposition candidates it is 100 some scam town yeah it's some dork from dc here i'll just like look there's a there's an interview with him today in the daily coast and the person behind it the person behind it in the is it uh jason uh walsh no but this guy kind of does strike me like a Jason Walsh type character. So it's in the Daily Kos. This is the headline. Someone had to do it. The story of the Ditch Mitch Fund.

Across Kentucky and the nation, hundreds of thousands watched the Kavanaugh hearings. They saw Dr. Ford testify. They saw Brett Kavanaugh rant a response. They saw Dr. Ford testify. They saw Brett Kavanaugh rant a response. And they saw the Kavanaugh nomination to the Supreme Court pushed through the Senate by one Addison Mitchell McConnell. But one man living in D.C. decided being angry wasn't enough. He looked around for the organization, any organization that was gearing up to take out McConnell in 2020.

And he couldn't find it? Amazingly, he couldn that's what they're saying that's their official line is that no one doesn't want mitch i can name you five off the top of my head so yeah so he decided all with you know futile you know processes and so forth but right still um so he decided to quit his job and start one and the ditch mitch fun was born ryan aquilina was has worked in democratic politics for years they are really treating him like he just had this amazing original idea that's like columbus discovered america in this fucking article that's why i'm telling you that's why i went like like at these non-profits and stuff when they like like oh well we got somebody that was an obama staffer that's like going to consult with us 100% of grift all you gotta do is hold

one of those jobs start a pack or a non-profit or whatever and you can just raise buku money that goes to nothing yeah why aren't we doing that? We could. We're trying to get you on the ballot. If you didn't notice. There is a push to get you on the ballot for Kentucky Governor. And by that I mean there's like two people online saying it. You two?

No, it's organic. It's got some legs. This is a grassroots movement. You're going to be on the Senate ballot and you don't even know it. The Senate or the Governor ballot? No, Senate. The Ditch Mitch Fun website is so funny. By the numbers, our grassroots movement.

$1 million raised. 27,000 donors. 45,000 gifts. I've said 27,000 moronsons that's all i'm saying it no their whole thing is um he's raised a million dollars to do what to it's a grassroots campaign tanya to do i have no fucking i'll tell you what wait i'll tell you what to do what were you gonna say go ahead can the irs bring you down for this? Could we legit do this and get money and not do anything?

It's totally legal. This is all totally legal. Oh, yeah. This is America, baby. We're wasting our time here with this fucking podcast. We need to get into finance crimes. I'm ready for white collar crime. I've been a blue collar criminal too long.

I'm ready to ante up yeah i'm tired of this low-level shit this is what they this is how they plan to win in order to win we plan to hold mitch accountable and expose his and expose his real record to kentucky voters through tv and digital ads mobilize voters and volunteers through on-the-ground organizing. Tom's completely out of it. I'm Mr. Krabs right now. Man, it's amazing nobody's ever thought of this.

I know. Can y'all, let me ask y'all a question. I'm gonna change Kentucky voters. Let me ask y'all a question. No one votes for him. Oh, I know. Let me ask y'all a serious, dead fucking for him oh i know let me ask y'all a serious dead fucking serious question can you imagine being alive in 2019 and thinking pointing out mitch mcconnell's hypocrisies is gonna be the magic bullet that runs him out of washington

tanya's dying over here look at her i didn't even get to the third point the first two the first is mobilized i'm sorry the first is exposed account hold him accountable and expose his real record through tv and digital ads the second is mobilized voters and volunteers through on the ground organizing and the third is support mitch's future democratic opponent by assisting her or him with small dollar fundraising. Is that where I come in? That's where you come in. So, I don't know if you recall this, but a few months ago in March 2019, a little group known as the Ditch Mitch Fund started a website called...

This is how I spent my afternoon waiting for Leon to get shaved. What the fuck is the name of this website it was essentially um a petition to get amy mcgrath to run against them so they're trying to get amy mcgrath to run she lost to yep already here's the here's the calculus they get wrong. If you run for president, for example, and you lose, that has real world benefits. You get your name in all the papers. You might get on the debate stage if you raise enough money. And that makes you viable for other things. If you're losing fucking mayoral races congress races fucking state representative races that's what she lost state auditor races all that kind of shit

that's not good for business you shouldn't fail up doing that you can fail down you know what i'm saying yeah run for school board honey amazing also i think amy mcgrath is probably the only candidate in the united states that has actually literally with her own hands killed an african afghani person um we should not well but there was that guy from florida if you remember oh wait and then the guy yeah that said he pacified an Iraqi village a couple weeks ago. Actually, I take that back. They're all psychopaths.

Yeah, I know. I'm like, you don't think more vets have been elected? So back to this Daily Kos article, because it's pretty funny. The week that Kavanaugh was confirmed, I watched a press conference where McConnell was asked if he was worried about blowback from the confirmation, said Equilina in an interview. And McConnell's answer? He said, these things always blow over. And I realized he was right. They had always blown over.

Oh, he's going to turn the tide. Until now. When the Republicans and McConnell are in the minority, they obstruct. When they're in the majority, they rework our judiciary and destroy our democracy. When I heard him say that, it all just sort of came to a head for me. Determined not to let it blow over this time

and determined to defeat the man most responsible for it all, Aquilina looked around to see what he could do. I saw the energy against Susan Collins online as that organization raised millions of dollars for her as yet unknown opponent. And I asked myself, where's the organization dedicated to taking him on? I realized no one else was doing it.

And I knew how. How old is this dumb dick? God grant me the confidence of some fucking D.C. lanyard dick with a low level literally i bet you a million dollars that i'll never have that he uh it was the head of some uh fraternity in college he uh fucking uh grand poobah sigma kyle um i let's see let's god do y'all remember when lisa abbott went on uh uh what's her name madden rachel maddow and had this like long thing that she was and she was like and the only she was like she was saying like he's not mitch is not uh whatever the word is to voters he's not accountable

he's not accountable to voters he's not accountable to la la la he only worships the almighty dollar i'm pretty sure she said the green i love that that. That's a great. The green god. The almighty dollar. Due to higher than expected fundraising totals, the team is having to scale up their plans, including adding television ads to the budget in addition to the online ones. They fully expect to be able to provide significant non-coordinated help to McConnell's opponent, whoever that may be. Let's see. Okay. opponent whoever that may be um let's see okay um so he he has added to his team

mark putnam who did the ads for amy mcgrath's campaign he's reaching out to the people in kentucky who know the state and its people he doesn't want to share it what i'm gonna apply i'm gonna i'm gonna email this mother send me his email i'm gonna try to get a job with this guy yeah you should i absolutely am say i'm gonna be on that that senate ballot and no no no i'm gonna try to get a job for this guy to do nothing i can't wait this is amazing this is a pretty funny part um i asked aqualina if he had any particular ties to kentucky that might explain why he decided to quit his job and do this. Here's what he said. I remember watching the videos of those women confronting Jeff Flake saying, listen to us.

I remember watching the hearings, watching Dr. Ford testify, and then Kavanaugh. And I was horrified at the idea that this is what our politics had come to. I thought about Merrick Garland. I thought about how Mitch McConnell had broken the system. I thought about the irreparable harm he had done to our democracy. What did you think about Joe Biden and Anita Hill? Parents Thomas? What the fuck? We've seen this

play out in public forever. Exactly. From his fucking side. This guy would probably support Joe Biden biden replacing mitch mcconnell and think that and think they had done the most amazing thing to change the course of human history absolutely you guys if i get on this payroll we'll start getting all their like emails and shit we'll do dramatic readings this will be so good this is the funniest part though check this out my tie to mitch tie to Mitch McConnell is as an American.

In school, I was taught how our democracy is supposed to work, and it doesn't work that way now. It's broken, and Mitch McConnell broke it. Sometimes you just have to be the one who steps up and takes it on. Man, where's this guy's profiles in Courage at? Oh, so good. Is he a Trill Billy's profile in Courage at? Oh, so good. Is he a Trillbilly's profile in Courage? Could be.

A profile in Courage? Yeah, yeah. You know, our... Is that our new bit? Well, you know, we've got Casanova and... Homesteading. Homesteading. This is so stupid. I was hoping you were going to open the website up

and all you were going to see is a big finger going, shh. If the Koch brothers were to find out about this, it'd all be over with. Here's what we're going to fucking do. Here's our plan. We're going to raise a million dollars. We're going to run TV ads.

We're going to get the right information in the voters hands and guess what in 2020 we're gonna fucking ditch mitch well the funniest thing is like i had i found this other article and now i can't find it where he was basically talking about how like i think it's in the um the one about how they're trying to draft Amy McGrath. It's funny because he was like, Mitch McConnell's already sweating. He's already on the ropes. We can tell. We're running all kinds of ads that are critical of him.

Meanwhile, Mitch McConnell's heart isn't even accelerating one little bit, and he's in his cryo chamber underneath his house getting a blood transfusion right now like he has to do every day at 6 p.m and he's going to go to sleep fine just tonight if you think mitch mcconnell's afraid of any of these dweebs you're fucking insane i am like playing this out in my head this is such so good i could like say that i'm organizing all these voter events and like going door to door and send them pictures of work I did in like 2012 with KFDC. All that age. Oh my god, here's you

$132,000 a year salary. Yeah, they'd fucking pay you good. You should do it. I'm gonna ride this train. You got all the credentials. Hell yeah. We need to make this Patreon. Hell yeah. A Patreon episode. So the Koch brothers don't find out. Yeah.

Shh. Oh, fuck. Man, it's so funny, though. It's like everybody... It's like, you know, it's like, you know, when you go to... Everybody's just trying to, like, reinterpret the same old thing. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Nobody has any ideas except they even use

the same fucking slogan every day. Literally same words. I was sort of digging around in the comments of the Ditch Mitch tweets and there's people in there that's like Alison Lundgren Grimes should run again. She was great. We love her. It's like...

These people all need lobotomies. Have people been in any, like, tick regions? Have you experienced any high radiation poisoning? Have you been sniffing liniment? This is so good Well so I saw several people Cause you had posted about it

I saw several people Sort of asking Genuinely I didn't really see any trolls Asking Like well who Would be The

Sort of Well who would be his opponent And if he would Were Who would be a good opponent That could beat him What's your answer to that Thomas Or Tanya Who would be a good opponent that could beat him? What's your answer to that, Thomas?

Or Tanya. I think Tanya Turner's a pretty solid candidate. I guarantee you, I guarantee if you ran against Mitch McConnell, you'd get 50,000 votes. You think? I guarantee you could fuck over whoever the Democrat nominee is. Not that you'd want to do that or whatever, but you could. You would at least get East Kentucky votes because he's not very popular here.

Why? Because I can tell a joke? I'll just get on the news and be like... You remember when I came to you one morning and brought you a six-pack L8 and a biscuit and I said, why don't you run against Hal Rogers? I'm serious you could that's how much that's how much she appreciates my largesse we were gonna run i think we should keep running fake candidates i like that strategy running fake candidates well at this point i mean i guess it depends as well you just make a mockery at this

whole fucking situation um speaking of how well i never mind i don't want to go too far off topic here um we're just waiting for him to die but who's being groomed to replace him is it brandon smith who they grooming to replace how or are you talking about mitch or how how well who's being groomed to replace mitch i don't know that either but i mean how's really close to death, right? I mean, surely everybody knows he's about to die. I bet Andy Barr will probably try to get Mitch's seat or something like that. Don't you think, Tom?

I'd probably say something like that, yeah. Is Andy Barr in the 5th District? No, he's in the 6th, right? Whatever Lexington is. You think he'll just... Howell's Kentucky 5. Yeah. Barr's Kentucky 6.

How could Barr get it then? He could run for Senate, which is a statewide seat. He's who you think they're rooting for. For Mitch. For how? I have no idea. But did y'all see that thing in the Louisville Courier-Journal? They did a investigation with propublica about the kentucky wired project it's a it's costing it's already a hundred million

dollars over budget and it's going to put kentucky taxpayers even though i hate that sort of formulation because there are tears about the taxpayers well i well this you know it's just an interesting thing because Kentucky is paying for it and it's going to cost like Kentucky residents like 101.6 billion dollars

or something like that and it's all it's all started as like Hal Rogers you know Silicon Hall or thing is it like the last

mile or whatever yeah is that what it is yeah uh the highway i don't even know yeah they call it the highway well the only reason i say it is because um i don't know what's going on with the prison right now but how has been taking some l's lately like the reason this kentucky wire thing has failed is because he's they made so many ambitious promises grandiose promises like they were interviewing all these broadband experts they were like nobody can build um an

extensive broadband network in three to four years like that's impossible and they were saying they could do it in like one year yeah how rogers was yeah that's right this man doesn't have to live in reality he has no why why would he tell you anything based in facts he doesn't have to live in reality. He has no... Why would he tell you anything based in facts? He doesn't have to. Yesterday, when Sam was here, I was talking to him about all the different

projects that have been promised just to Letcher County that didn't come together. Did you show him the Boone Hotel? Well, the Boone Hotel is the most recent example. But, I mean, you could just go through. Like, UK was going to put an extension here.

Like, the papers were signed on it and all this stuff. They were going to do Cloud City up on Pine Mountain, where they were going to use, like, part of Jim's Resort, I guess, maybe. Like, they're building, like, a Dollywood up on Pine Mountain, basically, what they were going to do. Oh, I guess, maybe. They're building a Dollywood up on Pine Mountain. Basically what they were going to do. They had a state representative that nixed all those plans in exchange to be

bonded as a U.S. Marshal. Sold his community down the river to be a U.S. Marshal. They were also going to do a tunnel. The road construction was going to be a tunnel. All these different kinds of factories. We're talking about just one county. They were also going to do a tunnel. Like, the road construction was going to be a tunnel for a hot man. All these different kinds of factories.

I mean, and we're talking about just one county that's been promised all this stuff. So, when this prison flops, like, it's just the latest in a long line of, like, shit that never came together. Like, Hal Rogers, for all the talk about the Prince of Pork, it really hasn't. Like, he's got just as many, like, broken promises. And that's interesting to me yeah well um how many votes would you have to get to beat mitch like a million here's the thing about the senate race because where it's just a statewide race it's like you would somebody theoretically would have an easier time beating m McConnell than Hal Rogers, I think.

Not that either of those is like a wiffle ball task. You would just need a lot of money because you'd have to travel all over the state. And also, Mitch McConnell has like, you know, he's an errand boy for the billionaire class. Right. You know. That's true. Like, he's got unlimited piles for the billionaire class. Right. You know, that's true. Like, he's got unlimited piles of cash on hand. That's why he's going to beat Dan Mayer impossible to beat.

I know. It feels like, you think Mitch would be easier to beat than Hal? Is that what you said? Yeah, in some ways. I just think Hal. Only because Hal picks his own voters. Gerrymandering factors into those house races a lot more. Oh, there's the gerrymandering is factors into those house races a lot more.

It just feels like, like Rich Mitch still has enough power to trade for money. I don't have any fucking power to trade for anything. Why would you invest in him? Yeah, he ain't got a pot of piss in there. Yeah, why would you give that dumb dick money? No. He can't offer you anything. Yeah, well, there's just nobody that's like been worth a shit, like tried to run against him. They had a chance. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I don't remember any.

Like, Allison Lundgren-Grimes did get a lot of votes. Fuck ton of votes. Against Mitch, but no one's ever got... She didn't get close, though. No one's ever got a lot of votes against Tal. Yeah. Um, yeah, well...

That's because they ran Terrence Ray four times against him that's true ran you once and me twice that's true remember they ran that fucking kenneth step every goddamn time against him i think those guys are plants i think they're just like who the fuck we're gonna run against what's that step boy doing get him to to do it again, I guess. It is amazing. What are the conversations happening with the Democratic Party of Kentucky? What the fuck? Because, I mean, I think they've just been obsessed with their own, the state house. They've just been obsessed. And then they, of course, the house got flipped.

The last state house. Two elections ago. Democratic state house in the south.entucky went under pitiful i mean it was sad i was up there like a week after that election and they were having to pack up their offices and move it was hilarious uh fucking rick nelson he's like they're moving me to the fourth floor into my closet. I've been here 27 years. Is that when? He quit and ran for mayor of Millsboro.

Yeah, he got it. He's mayor of Millsboro now. I've never been so. Disrespected. A broom closet. Well, I don't know who would be able to beat him, though. Well, you would need somebody first with a fuck ton of money just because that's the nature of things. And I just don't think you can outspend Mitch McConnell.

Even Gil Holland. I mean, they outspent three to one. Andy Brashear, three to one and still lost. I don't know. Money, oddly, is not the only factor in Kentucky somehow. I think it's interesting how there's all these campaigns. Like, Beto did it. I don't know.

I think they're all sort of taking it from bernie's book but they're all sort of um advertising themselves as a grassroots movement because of small donor um like this for example the ditch mitch thing like they're saying their annual or i'm sorry their average donation is like um 27 or something and so uh 22 and so it's like i feel like i've seen a lot of campaigns who are doing this who are like sort of co-opting bernie's whole shtick yeah well and that's the thing i don't know if it's really that or if they think that that's like a an actual metric for like what makes a grassroots movement a grassroots movement. Like if 27,000 people make an average donation of $22.

I also don't believe them. I don't believe that. I have questions about the stats. Oh yeah, that's complete bullshit. Those are lies. They don't have to tell the truth. The idea is it's like a national campaign that sort of transcends state boundaries. And it's like Mitch McConnell has an outsized role in, you know, U.S. politics. And so he can summon more cash than Joe Holland or whatever fucking big dick Kentucky player can throw out there. You know what I'm saying? Right.

Big Dick Kentucky player can throw out there. You know what I'm saying? Right. Another thing, too, is this. If you're just talking about doing politics, Alex Perrine said something to that piece. It's like if Mitch McConnell is the avatar for the decades-long enclosure of American public life by money, and then Mitch McConnell is the errand boy to the billionaire class and an errand

billionaire president which is two really beautiful sentences but also just speaks to something a failure of the of the kentucky democratic party it's like you can't just like sit here and try out these like weird technocratic like you know solutions that are positioning the people that put us in the situation to begin with to also have the jump on whatever the next thing is going to be and hope that you can beat this guy who has unlimited cash, unlimited influence, and was ready to try to force the fucking president to pull out of Iraq just because he thought they were going to lose the fucking they were going to flip the hell or flip flip congress right it's just a it's just such a herculean test and that's

not to say that you you just fucking give up and just wait for this motherfucker to die but it does mean that you have to do one of to optimize one of two things either you're fucking fundraising which you can't do or you're fucking politics so guess what you should fucking do amy mcgrath or whoever's gonna you know whoever it's gonna be get better stances and well yeah i don't know i'm not saying amy mcgrath should become so just be straight pedro she needs to go away but i'm saying whoever is going to step up there right needs to actually think about the allocation of power and resources okay and talk about it and then go engage in fucking politics and think about what's worked in eastern kentucky these places that are going to

swing it potentially for mitch mcconnell go engage the voters who aren't voting. I don't know. It's just so fucking stupid to sit here and... Yeah. Well, man, it's Thomas... It's this abusive relationship we're in. Mm-hmm. Well, they've got a plan. But fuck, abolish the Senate. If you just run enough TV ads...

Mm-hmm. Where did this come from? The Koch brothers line? It was the tweet that I saw. It said, We just launched our first TV ad against McConnell and his campaign is now begging for money because we are flooding the airwaves against him.

We've got Mitch scared. He knows his poll numbers are bad. He knows he could lose. It doesn't matter. This motherfucker could be polling at negative 140%. He'd still win. Absolutely. Because fundamentally, we don't live in a democracy.

I mean, it's not like it's broken. It's just functioning the way it's supposed to. Well, where'd this dandy boy go to school? Did we figure any of that out and what dumb dick wrote this article for him you know it's funny well it's not not speaking him but fanning his ass it's it's funny how like mitch mcconnell has like spawned this next generation of like acolytes that are his like copycats because when alex was on her uk law visit this guy that was sitting at our table that was

like you know talking about all these things was from like i forget where he was from not from anywhere around here he's like yeah i came to uk law and i went to uofl undergrad because i wanted to like follow in the footsteps of mitch mcconnell like so he he literally patterned his education after mitch mcconnell that's bleak um I can't look at Ryan Echolain LinkedIn profile because I don't have one. I deleted mine. Is that how that works now? Yeah. I guess so.

Well, he probably went to fucking Georgetown or some shit like that. George Washington. Or American. Yeah. Who knows? Let's get him on the show and interview him. He's probably doing all kinds of media. George Washington or American. Yeah. Who knows? Anyway. Let's get him on the show and interview him.

He's probably doing all kinds of media hits now. Well, that's the... He can't wait to be interviewed. Let's interview... Kentucky Political Podcast wants to interview you about your Ditch Mitch campaign. A little bit. Here's the thing, too. I'm not even, like, fucking beating the horn for all this stuff.

I'm just saying, like, these people don't even do what they say they believe in right. Yeah. By these people, you mean the Kentucky Democratic Party? Or anybody that's like, you know, like a fucking, you know, believes that if we just get Mitch McConnell out of there, that this thing's going to like right itself. You know what I mean? Yeah, I think it's a contradiction in terms.

I don't think it's possible to get him out as long as the fucking country exists as it does. Right? No, I don't think he's going anywhere. I'll run against him. I'll do anywhere. I'll run against him. I'll do it. I'll take it on. Well, thanks for joining us this week. If you want to come and see us on Friday

in Lexington at the Best Friend Bar, doors open at 9 p.m. That's a late show. Yeah. That's L.A. one. Anyways, come and see us. Best Friend Bar, 9 p.m., $10 cover. Our street fight on a big tour? No. That's L-A-1. Anyways, come and see us. Best Room Bar, 9 p.m., $10 cover.

Our street fight on a big tour? No. I think it's just maybe a regional thing. It's a one-off show. Yeah. And something else I was going to say. Go to the Patreon. Patreon.com, P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com, slash Trillbilly Workers Party.

$5 a month. Blah, blah, blah. Anything else, Tanya? Just I wish I could be there with you all on Friday. When are you leaving? Thursday. Fun. Well, Oklahoma's cool.

I know I told someone today, I was like, oh, I can't do it. I'm going to be in Oklahoma. I said, I'm going to Oklahoma. And they replied, I don't think I've ever heard anyone say I'm going to Oklahoma. I've been. It's pretty hot. That's what I hear. It's pretty, though. Nice.

I'm just excited to get out of town and not have to be at work. Hell yeah. For a few days. Hell yeah. Well, I'll be working Thursday night at the Leavitt Amp concert series. Are you? Slinging pizza. Yeah. Well, y'all tell Street Fight if they want me, they gotta fucking consult me about the fucking dates.

Okay, we'll tell them. They can't just set a date and then be like, show up, bitch. Okay, we'll tell them. They can't just set a date and then be like, show up, bitch. Okay, we'll tell them. That only works for you two bitches. Well, yeah, that's because you have a life and I don't. So I can be on call. I'm like on call. When I was growing up, my dad was on call.

So he would have to leave at like 3 in the morning to go cut lumber for fucking some oil crew or some shit. Jesus. And that's basically my life now. I'm on call for content. Any paying gig. That's right. And content. So, yeah. Come to the show. Subscribe to the Patreon. And have fun in Oklahoma.

Thanks. We'll see you later. Bye.