Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 104: A Notorious And Vile Cheat

Episode Date: July 3, 2019

This week we meet Mary Toft, the latest installment in our series Trillbillies Profiles in Courage. If you'd like to hear about Franz Reichelt, the 3rd installment in the series, head on over to Street Fight's page: https://soundcloud.com/streetfightwcrs/street-fight-trillbillies-workers-party-live-from-kentucky And support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

And we're rolling. And let's go. Boom. So the other night, I was telling Tom about this the other day. The other night I was looking through the list of fatal alligator attacks on Wikipedia. That is a list. Your Wikipedia history is something never to be unlocked. Yeah, so is my Google search history.

Yours is just all WebMD. There's three Wikipedia pages I could recommend to anybody right now. List of alligator attacks, fatal alligator attacks in the U.S. The Texas City disaster. Texas City? Yeah, where a massive fertilizer ship blew up. In like the Gulf of Mexico. It was like on a...

One of the... It was Texas City. The whole town was leveled. Like 400 people were killed. It was fucked up. Oh my god. Can you imagine if McRoberts just blew up? That's more than like the Buffalo Creek disaster.

Yeah, it was one of the, I think it's the deadliest industrial, maybe, disasters. Anyways. Besides like. It's fascinating because of the chemistry behind it. Chernobyl? Yeah. Well, I don't think a lot of people died in Chernobyl. They just got really fucked up and sick.

So they probably died after that. Long, slow, painful. Yeah, yeah. Well, where I was going with that was that... Well, that was two. Did you give the third one? Yeah, the third one is on the Biford Dolphin, which is a... It's an under...

It's a... What do they call those? Like drilling rigs offshore, an offshore drilling rig. Yeah, there was a depressurized tank there that some divers were living in, and it's really gruesome. Dolphins did something to them? No, that was the name of the ship itself. Oh, this isn't about actual dolphins. No, no.

Okay. I love dolphins. I ask you a question. They have sex for pleasure. They do. You're right. Only other mammals. They jack off. Who have sex for pleasure, yeah.

That would imply that they enjoy it. Anyone having sex for pleasure masturbates, so. Yeah, they don't. Wait, where was the question you were going to ask? Why the focus on gruesome workplace incidents? Because I work for a pizza place now and I'm already

losing feeling in my arm Jesus Christ Already? I'm just kidding I've lost already losing feeling in my arm jesus christ already i'm just kidding i've well i've lost all the hair on my arm and of course you have no insurance nothing and you're making like ten dollars an hour that's capitalism working next to a 700 degree oven uh-huh um sending mean text that can that's my only theory as to why i'm obsessed with workplace disasters right now the alligator attacks are obsessed with workplace disasters right now. Alligator attacks are not necessarily workplace disasters, but there's one I wanted to tell you about specifically. I was telling

Tom about it the other day. I think I guess this is kind of what the movie Jaws was based on, not alligators, but could you imagine the animus you would hold for a species that ate your child? I mean, I wouldn't myself. I would just say, hey, that's the breaks, kid.

Right. But wasn't that kind of crazy in Jaws? He's like, you know, like, they just, like, hated sharks from that point out. Yeah, yeah. After the movie came out, you mean? Yeah. Like, people did. Like, there was a mass thing.

Not all sharks. Well, that too. Yeah. The sharks had to run a campaign not all sharks i'll tell you an interesting wiki entry to look up but i don't really know exactly what it's called but the number of shark attacks that don't happen in the ocean like that happened on like a boat or well like you know like what the bull shark i guess is kind of the the go-to like what the libertarian guys will say well you know you know bull sharks can live in fresh water wait why did libertarians say that i just feel like that's just something like

like a guy that's just like real that thinks he's the smartest guy in the world libertarians are some indignant motherfuckers well they are convinced they're the smartest people in the room they love to drop little barbette factoids though you know what i mean that's true well i have my former neighbor was a libertarian he was always trying to corner me to talk about like central banking and banking and the Civil War. Oh, my God. Because you know what the libertarian take on the Civil War is, right? The libertarian take on the Civil War is that the two nations did not have to go to war, that slavery could have ended peacefully with free trade. Yeah, that is.

He gave me a book to read called A Disease of the Public Mind that dealt on these themes. That's such a libertarian title for a book. Yeah. Disease of the Public Mind. You know. Anyway. Disease of the Public Mind. Right, right.

For some reason it just makes me think of the show Parks and Rec and how awful it was every time they had a public meeting in that stupid show. It does feel a lot like my former job at a non-profit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, libertarians just hate the public, man. They just really do. They're obsessed with themselves. Well, they would just be the first guy that would say,

They're obsessed with themselves. Well, they would just be the first guy that would say, actually, Lake Michigan had a shark attack and da-da-da-da, because a bull shark swam up the Mississippi and ended up there somehow. Right, right. You know, that kind of stuff. Anyway, it is kind of interesting, though, to look at that. Like, bet you never.

Like, go ahead. Go to the tape right now. Look up shark attacks in illinois shark attack statistics in like illinois or any state that borders the mississippi river shark attack statistics oh god listen i'm all right i'm supposed to be going to the beach and not all not all next week and i'm not going to ill? No, fuck that. No, actually I am. This weekend I'm going to Chicago. I'm going to Chicago Pride. What if Tanya Turner was killed by a shark?

Got killed by a shark in Illinois. In on the beach that's on Lake, what is it? Lake Michigan. Is it Lake Michigan or Chicago? That's Chicago, I'm pretty sure. Oh, fuck. Yeah, because that's the first great lake I ever saw. And I just remember, because they were like,

oh yeah, we're going to go on a short drive. And we got there and I was like, god damn, that's the biggest lake I ever saw. Because it didn't even occur to me. we're gonna go like a short drive and we got there and i was like god damn that's the biggest lake i ever saw because you know it was like a beach yeah and she looked at me she's like well it is a great lake yeah oh well fuck yeah i guess so because you can't see to the other side i've never seen a lake that you can't see to the other side yeah i went to uh lake michigan with alex this past fall and it was pretty trippy this It is like the ocean, essentially. But yeah, I'm going to Chicago Pride this weekend. You're doing all the Pride rounds, aren't you?

Yeah. What other Pride thing have I been to? Knott County, Harlan County, West Virginia. I had a great Pride thing in Oklahoma. Oh, that's true. I was a straight Pride in Oklahoma. Pascal's wager of Pride events, Tanya. We just call rachel's birthday

every year not counting pride oh god it's not it's just a birthday party but we're it's just like a country queers gathering well we call it not counting it really lands in it's in pride month and she's from west virginia and it's west virginia's birthday month yeah well i've been to no other actual pride events chicago's my first one this year i don't know tom it's West Virginia's birthday month. Yeah. Well, I've been to no other actual pride events. Chicago's my first one this year. I don't know, Tom. It does seem like. Last year, though, I saw Lizzo at Big Freedia at Pride.

Okay, I'm going to hush about my pride event. We want to talk about bull sharks, okay? Not bears. Not leather daddies. Speaking of which, I did walk into a bear last night. Tom did walk into a bear last night. They're everywhere. They're literally everywhere right now.

They don't give a fuck anymore. They got no fucks to give. I was walking Sally and she goes and then she stuck her chest out real big and I was trying to lunge at it. And I took a step back and I was like, oh wait, that's not what you're supposed to do. So if you run from a bear, that's bad.

Don't run from a bear ever. Are you supposed to swell up? You're supposed to start making noise and try to make yourself look bigger. I would love to see the parking lot cam of you matched up with a bear trying to be like, oh. Sally did that for me. she made the and it looked at us and i'm just like oh fuck well the scariest thing about a bear encounter is nobody ever gets like attacked by black bears very rare yeah only if a cub's involved right and you're fucking with with the cub the scariest thing though is knowing that if this thing wanted to kill me right now it

could and there's not a damn thing I could do about it. No, but they're more scared of you, probably. We would have probably heard your screams from Matt's apartment. Oh, my God. You played it like the Grizzly Man tapes. Oh, boy. So it was around the farmer's market? Yeah, so I was walking on the walking track there.

You know where the bridge is? Yeah. I was walking, and I was like, damn, that's an awfully big dog every time every time because they're on all fours and they're black and it's like whoa oh and then it just kind of looked at me sally goes stuck her chest out then it just kind of like went down the hill to the root to the river um well okay it could be worse damn you could have been you could have been 81 years old robert steel who was eaten by an alligator on september 11 2001 we shouldn't laugh about that. His granddaughter probably listens to this show. Are you kidding me?

God damn it. It cancels her Patreon immediately. She's like one of our $30 Patreons or something. What's crazy is my cousin Caleb was born on that day. That's crazy. Well, this would have been insane because could you imagine, you don't die immediately. Like, earlier in the day you'd been watching the twin towers fall you're like wow holy shit the world's upside down i gotta get outside

everything's changing oh yeah i need to get some fresh air and then an alligator bites your leg off below the late knee and you're like what the fuck is that this is the worst day ever meanwhile meanwhile meanwhile somewhere in pennsylvania that guy's bowling a perfect game and he's fine wait what's an 81 year old doing close to alligators walking his dog i guess his fucking dog didn't bow up well damn you've been you've been down south carolina places crawling with alligators i've only ever really seen them in Florida. That was in South Carolina? I think it was in Florida.

Yeah, Florida. Yeah, they just lay around. Like, they also got no shits to give. It was in Sanibel, Florida. Yeah. You think he just didn't see it? Like, you could walk up on a copperhead here? Probably. He just walked up on that son of a bitch, had no idea, and it took his leg off.

Uh-huh. Yeah, you know, you're probably right. His dying thoughts probably were that the Taliban had something going on. He's actually the ideological godfather of the new American ride. Right? He's why we have Trump. Right. Who's driving that alligator?

Let's keep in perspective. A man died here. It wasn't his 80s. Laughing about it. Okay, well, this is a profile in courage, is it not? Well, funny you mentioned that, Tanya, because I have a profile in courage for us today. Thomas Sexton. What?

He's our next profile in courage. Yeah, he's our next profile in courage. Thomas Dale Sexton. I didn't really prepare any remarks i'm honored though um i have a truly weird one for you today um but before we get started um so we have not actually debuted this on the show we only talked about it at the live show our new segment called true abilities Courage or something like that. We debuted it with Casanova.

Yeah, but we didn't have a name for the segment. Oh, I gotcha. So this would be the fourth installment of the Trillbillies Profiles in Courage. Profiles in Courage. Blinking lights. I hope it's the guy that bowled a 300 on 9-11 no it's not um but it does have to do with woodland critters is there a wiki page of like weird other weird things that happened on 9-11 2001 there is a page and actually this is a fascinating wiki page wiki page there's

a wiki page about all of the sort of global incidents that happened in the hours and days after 9-11 like all the responses from everyone in the world like all the minute by minute um responses so god we didn't really really that stretch from like y2k to 9-11 we really didn't get much respite from panic, did we? Yeah, I guess you're right. Remember, that shit was crazy. Anyway, carry on.

Yeah, you're right. You're right. All right. So, we've got today our fourth installment of the Trillbillies Profile on Courage. As I said,

it involves woodland critters. Tanya's hooked in. So, wait. Woodland creatures. Yeah. If you wanna hear The third installment

I forgot Go to the Street Fight's iTunes page And SoundCloud Yeah They posted the live show It's about a little man Named Franz

Franz Reichhalt And me and Tom Did the fucking Um What do you What do you call it Like bit so many times That like

I Could only talk In the French voice Like I'm I'm going to jump off The tower We were well prepared That Did you bit so many times that I could only talk in the French voice. I'm going to jump off the tower. We were well prepared. I'm having a hard time going back to it. It's normal. You did the whole live show in a French accent.

This one takes place in 1700s England. So we're going back to Casanova's time. Basil. We're going to Great Britain in England. So this is the fourth. So we got Omseti, Casanova's time. Basil. Okay. But we're going to Great Britain and England. So this is the fourth. So we got Omseti. Yeah. Casanova.

Right. Franz Reichelt, number three. Number four is... This is number four. Yes. Wait for it. A woman named Mary Toft. And this takes place in, as I said, 1700s England.

What Mary Toft is known for is... Spell Toft. T-O-F-T. Mary Toft. takes place in, as I said, 1700s England. What Mary Toft is known for is... Spell Toft. T-O-F-T. Mary Toft. Got it. My name's Toft. Excellent. I'd like to get a toast off.

Uh-huh. So she is known for giving birth to rabbits. That's right. All right, hold on a second. I just want to be clear about something. Are you going to blow my mind real quick? Or is she just like she breeds rabbits? We're going to get into that.

She's like, I'm Sadie. Didn't I'm Sadie think she? She thought that she spoke with the dead. And she actually might have. Probably not. But. Who's to say? Who's to say?

All right.ary toft born in 1703 she was a poor peasant a servant and she was illiterate she just worked fields um in 1726 she was 25 and she had a miscarriage um and the next year so we're going to be getting into some science here, into some cultural mores and norms here. So just sit with me here for a second. There will be some uncomfortable things. I'm buckled in. We are rehabilitating this person because she did not get the historical credit.

Did she get canceled in the 1700s? She did. Let me get more comfortable than I am. She did not get the historical credit she deserves. How do you get canceled in the 1700s? I'm telling you. Well, you have to be a whore. You could literally own other humans in the 1700s i'm telling you she well you have to be you could literally own other humans in the 1700s and that was accepted yeah how do you get canceled by being a peasant woman

that's right i'm sorry okay um so she had a miscarriage and uh september 1726 she went into labor a month after she had a miscarriage it's kind of weird she went into labor. A month after she had a miscarriage. It's kind of weird. She went into labor and she gave birth to what people described at that time as a liverless cat. Couldn't quite tell what it was. Pieces of flesh and hair and stuff like that. What? So they called the local doctor in town.

The doctor comes over. The obstetrician at this time. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. 1726. So they basically called a witch. They called the town witch. They called like the CBD guy.

It's funny you bring this up because this was actually a period in time in which scientific medical progress was changing so before this most of the people who delivered babies were midwives or women midwives and then you had the scientific revolution and enlightenment and then men started thinking that they knew more about women's reproduction system to deliver babies. Holds up. Hasn't changed much, has it? I wish we were a video podcast and captured Tanya's reaction. Check that out.

Hasn't changed much, right? Yeah, here we are. So they called the local obstetrician who comes over. It's this man named John Howard. He's like, all right, look at you. Wow, that's a liveless cat. That's not a baby.

It's not a baby. That was a bad British accent. It's not a baby. It's not a baby. It's a liveless cat. I've been trying so fucking hard for weeks to do Liam Neeson. It is so hard. It's like, Anakin, duck.

That's pretty close. Where's he from? He's from like maybe Ireland. I don't, Anakin, duck. That's pretty close. Where's he from? He's from like, maybe Ireland. I don't think so. You've got to get out of the house. It's so close. I will find you. I will find you, and I will kill you. I will find you, and I will fuck you in the ass.

I will find you and deliver your liverless cat. Le Bon Abatou and fuck the hole. I will find you and deliver your liverless cat. Labada bonds you and fuck the hole. I will find you. All right. So John Howard comes over. Over the course of the next month, this is what Mary Topps gave birth to. She gave birth to a rabbit's head, the legs of a cat, and all in a single day, nine baby rabbits. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Okay. Okay. Can an actual rabbit deliver nine rabbits in one day? I think so. They can have a litter of nine? Probably. Look, I told you this was going to blow your mind what's going on here but look there hold on a second hold on a second okay so when take all the time you need to process

so when dr john you know comes over with his amulets and so forth he actually saw her with a baby bump. And then with his own hands pulled out nine baby rabbits. So we've got a liverless cat and nine baby rabbits? This is so... And a rabbit's head.

A rabbit's head. And the legs of a cat. is like one of the this is like this is like wit the witch too one of those like oh wow it really is like one of those a24 scary movies right it's like period piece scary movies it's like a black metal song basically yeah but there is a perfectly reasonable umbrella man. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure. Alright. Umbrella man. Howard, you know, the guy with the amulets, comes over

and, you know, after he delivers all this, he's like, this is fucking crazy. I've got to let the king. So he writes his letter to the king. And the king is like, oh, this is insane. We've got to get people down there. So he sings sings he sends two of his um physicians and these are two very important people because they will come back up in the story later one of them is named nathaniel saint andre he is a physician to the

court of the king and he was like german or dutch or some shit everybody hated something weird something weird everybody hated him because he he didn't speak great English. And he has been tasked with minimizing the effects of years of royal incest. That is his job. That is his job. Is this the Umbrella Man explanation? It's his official job. She wasn't really a peasant woman.

She was actually royalty, and that's just the result of... That's the result of incest. of generations of just fucking your cousins. Royal incest. Right, yes. This was his job. Blood-letting nine-year-olds whose, like, faces were so scrunched in. They just had a cold. Who were born looking like 80-year-olds.

Benjamin Button bitches. Bruised like peaches. who were born looking like 80 year olds benjamin button bitches bruised like peaches um so he sends his guy nathaniel saint andre and he sends um the secretary of the king of wells or the prince

of wells um this guy named stephen molyneux so you got two these two guys stephen molyneux wait a second nathaniel saint andre you talking about stephan molyneux so you got two these two guys stephan molyneux wait a second you'll stay in saint andrew you're talking about stephan molyneux from twitter yes the right way all right guy he went down to check on this okay he had to find out for himself okay as any skeptic one so they go down there um they start you know uh by this point like news of mary had spread all around she was like a celebrity at this point, like, news of Mary had spread all around. She was like a celebrity at this point.

Everybody was like. But not for the reasons you'd want to be, probably. Someone up the roads giving birth to a few hares. I sit here on my Jack Johnson. Two cat legs come out of her twat. Her fucking. That came right out. All these robbers. her fucking con that came right out um so all these rabbits oh these fucking rabbits it's rubbish where do they put the rabbits afterwards you think they've just got them all in a basket they're just like who's gonna mother

these fucking who's gonna well the milk Who's gonna breastfeed these fucking rabbits? You've got all these live rabbits. I think they were mostly born dead. She had ten stillbirths in one day? Time. She did. Ten miscarriages.

They were all born dead. You're the sex ed expert here. Before he goes any further, what you got here? Nothing. They were all born dead. You're the sex ed expert here. Before he goes any further, what do you got here? Nothing. Did she live? She did. She actually lived a long, productive life.

In her older years, did she write any reflections on the events? There are a few people around her who did have their own theories, and I'll get to that. It's okay. That's just a lot to take in right now. Ask all the questions you want. If this question had come up in the anonymous box and sexy sex said, I would have immediately canceled the workshop and left. We're gone.

This is a meeting adjourned. So the Kings, you know, St. Andre and Molyneux, they come down here to, yeah, the hemophiliac doctor and the alt-right guy. And the top conservative on Twitter, alt-right. What's a hemophiliac? Someone who gets bruised and immediately starts bleeding. Oh, right. It's like commonly associated with like, I mean, it's a chromosomal defect. My future sister-in-law is big in the blood disorders community in Chicago.

She works for, or did work for a hemophiliac society type thing. And it's, man, it's a torturous history. It is actually a very bleak existence. Like a lot of hemophiliacs died of AIDS in the 80s because of just the transfusions before the testing. So you had to keep getting, you know what I mean? Well, so Mary

was not a hemophiliac, but the doctor as anyways, San Andre and then Molyneux, they go down there and when they get there, Mary had just she was in labor with her 15th rabbit god damn and then she gave birth to several more in their presence in the presence of molyneux and san andre wait so this all happened in like what a week's time well they know the letter has to get

there the back then everything took like you know three months so they they didn't get there till november and and while they're there she's delivering more rabbits yes she is yes how many total the rabbits did she birth well right now how many count is like 17 how many made it i'm pretty sure all of them died i'm pretty sure all of them died so anyways i've just there is no conceivable way that this bow is going to get tied. There will be. I'll tell you. I'll lead you there. Take my hand.

We're going to go. Okay. So, anyways, the king, meanwhile, he's like, I'm not sure if I believe this. I've got, like, a Yorkshire accent. I highly doubt the king was from the working uh slums the working classes we're gonna get a real skeptic down there get in a pussy anyways so he sends another surgeon this guy his name is syriacus allers he was another german surgeon he was another alt German surgeon. He was another alt-right Twitter guy. He was another alt-right Twitter guy.

I just want to point out that Terrence is referencing copious handwritten notes about this. He's done a full goddamn book report. Well, you wouldn't want me to show up not prepared. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. All right. This is like a journal entry. Right. Well, I didn't have a whole lot going on this afternoon um so i just wanted to be prepared for you apparently you did the people

the people anyways he sends this german uh surgeon down there named allers allers is a little bit skeptical so he has to see some of these rabbits and he dissects them starts looking through them smart and he notices in the dung because these rabbits have dung in their bodies he notices that there's great there's hay inside of them so he thinks okay these didn't gestate inside of her like these are not grown inside because they've eaten hay. And they obviously maturated or grew up outside of her body. But he keeps his cards close to his chest. He's like, I'm not going to tell anybody. I'm not going to tell anybody that I'm highly suspicious of this. So in the meantime, they move her to this sort of like bathhouse in another town.

Because she needs to be closer to her all her physicians at this point there's like dozens of them she has a team she has a team because all of britain's medical like burgeoning medical industry profession at this time was there like all the biggest names all of them were like this is fucking crazy if not seeing anything like this is she just on bed rest this for months yeah this whole time well this whole time she's just giving birth she's like constantly having contractions and giving labor i don't think it's humanly impossible to be in labor for three months well uh women's bodies have a uh this was this is partially why i think Mary Tuff deserves to be rehabilitated.

Because she knew that the British medical profession at this time was just filled with a bunch of basically self-aggrandizing men. Who didn't know anything about women's reproduction or anything like that so she still don't she said so she really totally took uh basically sort of took a loophole and in fact later in life she wrote disparagingly about a lot of these doctors like i'm sure you know these guys were fucking idiots anyways um so while she's there though i think i know where this is going while she's in this new place, she has a hard time, obviously, suddenly she has a hard time giving birth to rabbits. And, you know, she's still going through labor and contractions, but she's not giving birth to rabbits anymore. So while all these doctors are there at the bathhouse, they catch someone sneaking through the back door. And it's like a little servant.

And he had a rabbit with him and he was basically um you know made to confess like what are you doing in here why have you got a rabbit uh you know he's like well i was paid by mary's sister-in-law to sneak it in here for mary and so at that point sneaking a rabbit sneaking a rabbit in right right so at that point. Sneaking a rabbit. Sneaking a rabbit in. Right. Right. So at that point the jig is basically up. Everybody's like okay this is a hoax. Like you're basically fooling all of us. And she's like made to confess

you know that she had basically you know what she said she did. She confessed she did. Was she had basically she was putting dead rabbits up her pussy and basically like pretending to give birth to them and at the the biggest explanation she was trying to own the smarty britches by sort of she had several ulterior motives the first was i'm not sure if she was

making any grand statement she was just sort of exploiting a loophole in what she saw as sort of, like, public medical knowledge. Sure. But the second was, apparently, at this time, there was, like, traveling circuses, and they would, like, you know, if someone was found to be, like, deformed or giving birth to rabbits,

people would, you know, tour them around the countryside and, like, they'd make a lot of money doing that. The birth of the sideshow. Yes, the sideshow, basically. And so that was basically her ulterior motive. Just basically like, okay, if I can convince Britain's medical profession that I'm giving birth to rabbits...

Then surely P.T. Barnum will give me it. Exactly, exactly. I used it much later, but anyway. That's exactly right. So this caused a huge scandal in britain a huge scandal because um basically it took all these doctors so long yeah yes and it was uh it was a huge thing it was like a thing of ridicule in the newspapers at this time because this was like in the beginning days of like britain's you know uh printing press and they'd like write satirical cartoons about people in the pages of the yeah of the newspapers

um and so it was a huge scandal people were um basically like these wankers ain't got any idea what they're doing i've got no idea um because like there was all these like theories um sort of like floating around at this time that like there was something called maternal impression like doctors some doctors actually thought that like if you experienced trauma when you were pregnant like the experience would become impressed on your child so some of these doctors literally thought that she was giving birth yeah i grew up with a guy named ricky i don't say his last name but uh he had bad psoriasis but it almost made it look like he had turtle skin and his mom told the story that uh when she was pregnant with him that she was fishing she was on a fishing trip and she was pregnant with him that she was fishing. She was on a fishing trip and she was out on the water.

And when she, like, she felt something tugging on her line when she reached down to get it, it was a snapping turtle and that scared her. No shit. And she said that Ricky was marked by that turtle.

That's fascinating. Maternal impression. So it still, I mean, it still existed in the mountains up until the, you know, the 80s. Which means it probably still i mean it still existed in the mountains up until the you know which means it probably still does in some places um but no they believe that like people could be could give birth to what they call like pseudokins or something like that which were like half animal

half human do you remember the elephant man you ever seen that movie that david lynch movie about jonathan merrick who was who is this famously deformed... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. He told the story that his mother was almost trampled by an elephant when she was pregnant with him. And that was his theory. Because scientific knowledge at the time was still pretty rudimentary, I guess. still pretty uh rudimentary i guess anyways so all this to say that um you know mary uh they basically arrested her and they charged her with like what yeah they charged her with being um

a notorious and vile cheat which is the most british the most british charge i've ever heard a notorious and vile cheat so that was a that's on the books like against the law and the tories and because she just got she hoodwinked him a little yeah all these all these absurd professionals that's exactly right so um even the king was involved even the king was involved but they let her off because there was, like, they decided, like, well, there's not really anything we can really charge her with. Like, what did she do wrong? Like, there's nothing. So she got off. It's these dumb assholes who wanted to come look up her pussy.

What the fuck is she? It's not like she wrote them all these letters. Right, right, right. Like, that was the thing. It was kind of driven by the ego of these men who were, like, because, them saint andre wrote a 40 page pamphlet imagine being that big of a room that you got hosed that bad you went home like was he dutch what was he french yeah i think like dutch or german or something like that notorious and foul cheat he wrote he wrote he wrote a 40 page pamphlet called the Short Narrative of an Extraordinary Delivery of Rabbits.

That was a completely detailed, non-skeptical account. Like, didn't even ask questions. Before it all came out? He had already written this? Yes, before it all came out as a hoax. Yeah, like, he immediately got to work. Hold on a second. Hold on a second.

I got another question. How do you fit eight rabbits? Because eight came out at once. Was that the... Nine in a day. Oh, in a day. In a day. So you never know.

She had a gunny sack under her ass. So she didn't have like... Well, but this is the thing. Men have no... Especially in the 16th century and 2009, men have no idea how vaginas even work. They're just poking it like... What's this?

Do you know how many? How's it come out of you? I mean, I have seen. I mean, I've heard a tale. Of all basketballs. I've seen that. I have seen that. Gerbils.

Gerbils, everything. I just. Well, I mean, there are babies, right? Dead baby rabbits. Yeah. Well, at that time, I bet that the men weren't even really allowed to get close to her vagina. They had to like, whoever was going to like pull it out from under the blanket and pass it back to the other room or something crazy. Sort of like a human centipede of doctors and nurses.

But I mean mean till this day there are people who think that you pee through a vagina right i don't it just comes out in one big gush in high school i had i was on a trip with my boyfriend and his family coming back from pigeon forge and i had to pee and he said you ain't had no babies pissing at straw holy shit that's what my boyfriend's dad said to me that's insane for the longest time i thought girls peed out of their ass so that means a grown man thinks that the more sex you have that like your piss stream gets yeah yeah you ain't had no babies pissing that straw i honestly i was so young i had no idea what he was talking about it made no sense to me seems like that'd be hard to shoot the gap could you imagine just a fire hose just your pussy just

blown out of fire hose and fucking pissed because you haven't had any babies yet i mean because you've had several babies i did i i did think girls peed out of their butt till i was embarrassingly old that's what i'm telling you like 24 we are kept i mean it's it's you know we're fucking ourselves over and we know this like we we refuse to um allow people to explore i mean we have determined we have let insane people determine what is appropriate and inappropriate yeah yeah sex something that is literally responsible for every living creature. Right.

Has been ostracized in just such a manner that. Here's my thing on Mary Toft. Okay. Okay. All right. I respect what she was going for. I think she could have executed it a little more. Is there anything. A little more humanely.

Why not give birth to a carrot or a grapefruit? I'm sure it's because whoever the fuck it was had a rabbit farm. They had quick access to rabbits. She had to use what she had in her hand. Is there any documentation of them asking her who the father was? So here's what she said. Oh, that's a good question. Here's what she told them. You know they're going to be battering her like, who's the father

of these rabbits? Who have you been fucking, Mary? Let me find the quote, because the quote is some total, like, 18th century British shit. Like, she's basically talking about... Notorious and vile fucking, Mary. Knock it off. Will you please make your Twitter bio... Notorious and vile fucking Mary. Knock it off. Will you please make your

Twitter vile. Notorious and vile cheater. I was literally about to say that's what I'm changing. Notorious and vile cheat. If I had a Tinder profile that's what it would be. Notorious and vile cheat. So she told him let's see. Let me find this real quick.

The woman hath made oath the thing things back then were written so weird like they had this the weirdest grammar and like yeah f's look like s isn't or whatever um let's see f's look like s yeah you know like i'm massachusetts it's like in all nine let's see the woman have made oath that two months ago being working in a field with other women they put up a rabbit who running from them they pursued it but to no purpose this created in her such a longing to it that she being with child at the time was taken ill and miscarried and from that time she has not been able to avoid thinking of rabbits that's all she ever thought about.

People, after all, differ much in their opinion about this matter. Some looking upon them as great curiosities, fit to be blah blah blah. That's St. Andres. That was written in his sort of 40-page narrative expose that he thought was going to land him, you know, a big

promotion. Turns out it ruined his career. ruined ruined him totally ruined him i'm gonna run this in the new yorker here's the question how does this information survive how did this get to you via wikipedia or whatever the fuck so um so we know about it because like i said it was a huge scandal in the british press at the time you know like and a lot of the a lot of those documents survived okay but the main document that i took all this from was actually pretty fascinating it was from this guy who was writing in 1834 i want to say 1819 um james caulfield portraits memoirs and characters of remarkable persons from the revolution in 1688 to the end of the reign of George II.

And so it was sort of past then. You know, she was like a sort of – she had her own profiles encouraged throughout the years of people who were, you know, either more like Tom on this issue or more like me on this issue. I'm not saying her work isn't important or shouldn't have done i just think that the medium maybe could have i'm cool with the given birth thing it's just the dead rabbits and liverless cat the little she kept them hell she kept this going for six months or longer i don't know people people and let's let's just go on record here to point out that it wasn't her that blew the cover it was her dumb dick

nephew or whoever the fuck she could have kept this ruse going she could have got a lot more mileage out of it imagine all the conversations like she had to like keep the same story going she couldn't file off of it you know what I mean like imagine how much what a great performance I'm telling you that's what i'm saying it's performance excellent

she fucking convinced him that she was like in labor contractions just an excellent performance give her an oscar you know what I'm saying? This woman deserves an honorary doctorate. That's what I'm saying. From Yale. If Keldy L. Hall can get one, Mary deserves one too. Yeah, no, she was a great actor. She exposed all of the hilariously patriarchal, heteronormative, whatever, norms of her day. She exposed some of the fallacies of the Enlightenment

and the Scientific Revolution and the Age of Reason, you know. And, um, and, um, I guess that's about it. That's a good resume. That's more than we'll ever do. Yeah, better than we got and well well you know

and so i guess putting it in the sort of pantheon of other profiles in courage which generally have been either omseti was like a success obviously like her grift never was exposed that's pretty great casanova he was pretty um forthright what happened i'm saying is she just like walking to the desert and turned to dust as she died or something i forgot it was very dignified death i remember that it was yeah i can't remember either casanova less so right he died ridden with syphilis it's occupational franz reichholt died doing what he loved um testing his uh scientific garage experiments and so our fourth you know she lived out the rest of her life and uh she was arrested uh one more time later on in life for having stolen a bunch of jewels from some from

some people i thought you would really appreciate it, because she's totally just like a hustler. No, I appreciate it. I just think it's... I think the cat leg thing grossed me out. That's what I'm saying. You have to keep in mind that Tom's... It's her body. ...number one priority...

Tom's number one identity is cat dad. That's true. And he's coming at this with a very particular cat dad... That's true....perspective. That's true. Dog he's coming at this with a very particular cat dad perspective. That is true. Dog dad too. Couldn't get behind the cat legs. But you are a cat man.

Yeah. What would you say? You're more of a cat man or dog man? About equal now. That is a funny sort of talking point. Like, you know, I'd let women do whatever they want with their bodies, including stuffing dead rabbits and cats up their fussies. If that's what it is. If that's what it is.

Good to it. To each their own. To each their own. I don't tell women what to do. Tom's a true feminist. That's just called being a good ally. It's called being a good ally. That's exactly right.

How did she actually die she died of like old age or something in like 60 or 70 but there's a coda to this story she died of old age she was like 60 years old age for that time 49 right but there's a coda remember how i told you to remember molyneux and saint andre yeah so they went on to have a very hilarious after story to this. What happened was, Molyneux, they left this whole thing and they were both more or less sort of disgraced. They sort of like went on working as physicians,

but they like sort of lost more and more patients over time. Actual patients like coming into their clinics but one day molyneux got really sick um suddenly and died and then sana saint andre married his wife later that night wait later the same night the same night so it's speculated that's exactly what happened but saint andre was his doctor so nobody knows like he like small no got suddenly he declared cause of death it's genius so malino suddenly got sick saint andre was his doctor and he died and then he married and his wife so okay tell me the guy's name who died molyneux

molyneux and he met the other guy through through mary completely ruined his life if you don't make it through this i'll take over for you missus completely ruined completely ruined it you know wow pretty incredible you know just the way the universe brings us together. Kind of like Hunter Biden, what he did for his

departed brother, Beau. Oh my God. You think Hunter gave Beau a brain tumor? He just held his, he like went to his bedside every night

and held a microwave to his head. What? Oh my God. I'm not going there. It's just too twisted. What do mean that's demented it probably actually oh my god tanya's gonna lose it joe biden's a savage you know his son is too you know that hunter biden fucking gave his ass i don't know if i'm not going to that truth or level with it. But I will say that. I will say. Hear what I'm saying.

Is this for real? I thought that was a bit. Hunter, yeah. When Bo died, Hunter divorced his wife of 20 some years and married his brother's widow. That's what I mean. And a guy. I thought that was a bit. No, no, no.

No. What was the name of Joe Biden's memoir? Promise Me, Dad. Promise Me, Dad, You'll Let My Brother Blow Out My Wife's Bag. Promise me, Dad. Promise me, Dad, you'll let my brother blow out my wife's bagels. What happened is this. Here's what happened. He left his wife. Hunter had an eye on Bo's wife.

And he took advantage of her. Yeah. Wait, here's my theory. We heard your theory. That's enough. That's quite enough out of you anakin i'm going to find you and i'm going to fuck your wife holy i definitely thought that whole biden brother shit was a bitch no that's real his dad is joe biden he could have got some yellow cake uranium or some shit and held it next to his head

every night at bed. Or like plutonium rods or something. To get his wife. What does Biden say about this? How's this not news cycle more? I think they've tried to play it down a little bit. They've tried to play it down a lot. Like totally bury it.

Okay. Well, I want an exclusive interview with Hunter's ex-wife. Or whoever. Bo's. Bo's ex-wife. Bo's wife died. Hunter left. Oh, Hunter's.

Hunter's ex-wife or whoever which one's bo's ex-wife died hunter left oh hunter's ex-wife right i want to talk to this bitch because she's sitting on some biden secrets she's got no reason to keep come on the true billies what's her name let's fucking find her an interviewer jill biden that's a fucking profile in fucking bravery yeah hell yeah. There's a profile in Courage. Yeah, the former Mrs. Hunter Biden has a lifetime. Give me a call. Do you believe me? Like, you know how, like, Diane Sawyer or whatever, or what, is that her name? That's crazy.

She's back. She was just in Whitesburg the other night. Yeah, they're back in town. Just chilling. They're doing the 10-year anniversary recap of the children of the mountains children of the mountains mountain deuce amazing amazing mountain dew mouth first time i'd ever heard that mountain dew mouth did they make it up did diane saw your makeup they coined the term mountain dew mouth yeah i think that's where that famous interview

yeah i think a doctor said i didn't set Well, could you imagine us sitting down with her like Barbara Walters or Diane Sawyer? And we're like, tell us everything. And it's like one of those where it's got the studio lighting and she's got tears in her eyes. Or her face is partially like... He would disappear every night. He would take the family microwave. Stop it! We're missing every night do you have a microwave in your kitchen i don't know i'm scared of those things

yeah we'll hang out on a cell phone for eight hours a day this close to our face cell phone in a fucking computer is way worse oh my god we i don't know if you realize this but in 20 or 30 years we're gonna be like the people who started getting lung cancer in like the 1940s from cigarettes like we're gonna have just massive growth to form tumors growing out of our heads no one's talking on the phone though it's gonna be growing out of our hands i was in a long-distance relationship for a while. And you're... So long...

Till it got hot? Not... Yes, till it got hot. Not only that, it's damaged my eardrum. Like, there's a certain frequency of the fucking iPhone that, like, when I hear it, it hurts my ear now. Just this one. It's fucked up.

Damn. I know. Interesting. Yeah. It does feel like an actual battery pack. This one, it's fucked up. Damn. I know. Interesting. It does feel like an actual battery pack. Like, if my phone's almost dead, I kind of feel that. I kind of feel that way, too. And I don't get charged up until the phone does.

Right, right. It's become an actual, we're actual cyborgs. And these are our battery packs. Charging our phone is the same as charging ourselves. God, I ran out of juice. Googling symptoms eats up a lot better, it turns out. I woke up. In more ways than one. And the first time, before I even took Sally, I take my dog to the park every morning.

And before I even got Sally to the park this morning, I was on 63%. Already. What, just like because you woke up and immediately went to the TL? Yeah, what could this be? No, not the TL. Dr. Google, the WebMD. Googling. Right, right.

Damn. That does eat up a lot of battery. What have you convinced yourself you got right now? This week. This week in Tom's health update. Let's see. What have I got? Oh, shoot.

Well, yesterday you were talking about five. I shouldn't give away that we recorded that yesterday. That one time we recorded about resource generation. We were talking about five... What is it? What do they call them? Hurdles to... Hurdles or... Hindrance. Mostly. I wanted to call it

something clever like dengue hemorrhagic fever, but really it's just depression, mental health symptoms. That's what most sickness is. We have Lyme disease. Most sickness is, I mean, I don't know how many times I've been convinced I'm having a literal heart attack and it's just gas or, like, heartburn. Oh, my God.

Has that ever happened to you? No, I feel like I'm an internal optimist. I just don't assume the worst. God bless you. So, like, when something bad really, like, you get a weird pain inside of you, you don't immediately assume the worst so like when something's bad really like you get a weird pain inside of you you don't immediately assume the worst no what do you assume the best oh this will be good that's glitter in there i love this feeling uh i mean usually i just assume there's a period coming or going or it's i don't. My body's just always cramping.

That's true. Yeah. I mean. I mean, think about if you if you two if the two of you had a body that bled for seven days a month. I do. No way in hell I'd want to be a woman. I do. It's called hemorrhoids.

I don't mean that. I don't mean that. I don't mean that in a sexist way. I just mean like with my hypochondria. And what happens with your old shit? I think you see so much bizarre shit

on a monthly basis. Yeah, you're more in tune with your body. That's probably why Mary Toth was able to just shove those rabbits right up there. She's like, fuck this. I don't give a shit. I'm going on fucking tour. I'll do whatever I fucking want. I don't know why she has a Scottish accent all of a sudden.

She's going on tour. I'm going to go on fucking Ripley's. They're going to fucking tour me around this country. I'm going to get to see Sheffield. I'll get to Gatlinburg. I'm going to get to see fucking Liverpool. She was going to take her nephew with her in a sack of bunnies. She didn't think this through, though.

Come on, honestly. Maybe she thought by the time she got on the road, she'd figure out another stitch. Well, that's the thing. Once you've started doing a con, you kind of got to improvise. And she kind of got... It was when they moved her

is when her shit got all fucked up. She had to improvise on the fly. She just wasn't in her home territory. Oh, when they moved her. That is when her shit got all fucked up you know um she had to improvise on the fly and she just wasn't in her home territory when they moved her that's what the that's how it went all yeah that's when it went all right because she didn't have her like network of people who were like you know helping her well where's the interviews with them like why don't we fucking do more shit like this like we get so much bullshit media for like dumbass like non-profit stuff like why can't we do more stuff where Tom has stigmata and we all pretend like he actually is? We're like, yeah, he sees Christ.

Instead, we all just pretend like we're all actually doing effective organizing so that we can keep getting paychecks. We're all just like, yeah, Tom's doing a great job over there. I saw him water testing last week. It's like we're all afraid the gig tom's doing a great job over here i saw him water testing last week it's like we're all afraid the gig's gonna be up for us all right apparently we didn't go hard enough for you terrence sorry about that what do you mean we didn't keep the ruse going for you you got the you got the fucking pink i know i know well it's all right you know i kind of dug my own grave with that one i kind of dug my own hole unfortunately well that's the show this week

yeah do you uh mary toft is that a good i love these yeah i know i'm into it too i don't know how if i will ever come up with one i think yeah you should bring in your own profiles encourage all of the... What's our newest one that we've done, like, age-wise, year-wise? Franz Reichelt. That was 1912.

Okay. He's the newest one. That's the newest one. Oh, that one was... It's so good. And there's a video of him jumping off the Eiffel Tower. That's the video we showed.

That's why everybody said we showed a smut film. Snuff. Snuff film. Smut film. We'll show one of those buddy film yeah we'll show one next time um but i don't know if this is gonna go on public or patreon so if it is not on patreon go to the patreon but if it is on patreon well congrats glad you're here. Thank you for your patronage. If you want to hear the Franz Reichelt thing again, go to Street Fight's page.

It's really funny. Me and Tom had some good riffs, Tanya. I need to listen to it. I started it and something happened. I had to turn it off and I haven't went back to it. I did try to listen. I heard you all do a false start. You got a false start going on the speaker pieces.

Yeah, the fucking keyboard kept going. Oh, yeah, the keyboard fucked up. I don't know why. I heard that, but I got to restart it. Yeah. I really want to just listen so I can compare you all to the Street Fight guys. You should be our tape guy. You know how Tom watched tape for basketball?

I'm going to give you guys notes yeah on how you did yeah um so is there anything else we have to i thought there was something else no is that it i'm trying to i can't um i can't and i'm i'm coming unraveled about this b situation. Yeah. Him running for president or his boys and their stuff. His boys and their shenanigans. You're going to miss the debate because you're going to be out. Oh, damn. We should all be so lucky.

Yeah. I know. I didn't even know there was one until you text, hey, should we just record after the debates? I guess there's going to be a debate. What? What? What? Tanya, why don't you tell the good audience so that you won't be here the next few weeks that you're not going to be on the show?

Guys, I definitely won't be in Terrence's dungeon locked up the next three weeks. I'll only be traveling, having a good time. You can reference my Twitter, which Tom runs. I'll show you that i'm having fun good job you did great nailed it nailed it that's right that'll help it'll be me and tom trying to figure out what the fuck to do is content for the next three weeks we got we have an alexa michelle was like up high as a cat one night in order to fucking alexa and so now we've been trying to figure out how to live with this weird robot bullshit oh don't you shouldn't do that yesterday yesterday uh she had bet me we had a fucking wager going about how if i could do

something in 20 minutes and she's like okay well tell alexa to set the timer and so i yelled out alexa set a timer for 29 minutes did she hear you busted fucking busted you can see that just goes to show you that we're still smarter than the machines alexa didn't pick up alexa didn't pick up my mind yeah also smarter than the fbi who is alexa that's true i literally do nothing of any interest to anyone certainly not the fbi only on this podcast which we are putting out that's right that's content i mean death i think you've called for multiple assassinations on this podcast yes you have i still have i i literally yesterday said

if we're going to get the masses riled up and prepared for a public execution. Nancy's going first. Resource generation will be our resource. They will generate the blood in the water. No, at home I don't talk of these things. It scares my cello. Does it? No, I'm kidding.

No, I'm joking. Yeah. She's hard not. She don't mind my ramblings yeah yeah yeah we don't either sarah might be here well thanks for coming by and uh tanya we'll see when you get we'll see you when you get back when you resurface which will be i've lost both of you all right it's over i'm not even fucking kidding. My battery pack has called.

We'll see you later. Bye.