Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 11: Sucks or nah? (w/ special guests: Matt + Carrie)

Episode Date: May 26, 2017

In episode 11, we welcome our good friends Matt + Carrie Carter to talk sentient snuggies, cd-r consciousness, and the great Sears catalog dick conspiracy of '73 among other topics.

This is a Trillbillies first. We have an actual baby in the studio. I'm gonna sacrifice. No, I don't want to do this. I hate this podcast. Put on this American life. Let me just say something right off the top though. You guys remember, I don't

know if you guys probably weren't listening to this kind of music in the early 2000s but when somebody would join Rockefeller Records Jay-Z would bring them out on stage and surprise them with a Rockefeller chain. We can't afford Rockefeller chains,

but if we could, we both would get one and we would sign you as full-time Trillbillies if you didn't have a child and careers of your own. What's the Trillbilly equivalent of a Rockefeller chain? A Randy's. Like something chain? A Randy's. Like something tangible. A Randy's.

A ham necklace. A shell bracelet. Yeah. Puka shell. A puka shell necklace. I don't know how y'all do it. I think you all do have to edit this quite a bit, don't you? Right.

Yeah, no, this is all good. Okay, good. This is all good. First we have to actually introduce our guests. So, I'm Terrence. I'm Tom. Matthew. Carrie.

And we're the new Trillbillies. Right. That's my radio voice. Right, we split Tanya into two. Let's just each of us bring up a piece of technology and we'll just take a vote whether it sucks or we should keep it. Sucks or nah.

Yeah, this is a new segment we call sucks or nah. Okay. Actually, I can start Let me start I wanna start this way What if you start with something Just really obscure Like the fucking

Like I don't know I was gonna say the Roomba I wanna hear y'all Sets in the Roomba The Roomba Because I was at Merritt and Carrie's house The other day

I was at y'all's apartment And noticing that it needed To be vacuumed No This fucking place Which brings us to The vacuumed? No. Which brings us to the vacuum cleaner. Y'all's place is the only place

I ever see commercials and I don't know why. Maybe. Because we're always watching fucking TV. Well, there was a commercial on for a Roomba

and it's like the commercial was like just this kid feeding it. It was just like that was what he was doing. I got a question about the Roomba. And the commercial was just this kid feeding it. It was just like that was what he was doing. I got a question about the Roomba. What is it? Is it some kind of musical instrument? It's a frisbee

that someone put a computer in and it vacuums your floor. Oh, that's what it is? Yeah. The robot vacuum. Oh, okay. I'm dumb. Now my joke's really dumb. It can detect edges so it doesn't go downstairs like an idiot. No, we've already had a whole dialogue about that stupid commercial when we've seen it on, too.

Right. I mean, first of all, yeah, Roombas are dumb, I think. Okay, there's my opinion. They scare the shit out of dogs. There's Carrie's vote. They do anyway, so of course it does. Yeah. Dogs hate vacuums.

That is... But also, where the hell is that kid's parents? Like, stop throwing stuff just for the vacuum to pick up. He's throwing mommy's engagement ring. Fucking room. You're wasting fucking food. Go clean your room. Dad's bag of weed.

He's just got dad's weed, and he's just like fucking emptying it out in front of the room. Dad's coming out of your allowance. Dad's bag of weed. He's just got dad's weed and he's just like fucking emptying it out in front of the room. Dad's coming out of your allowance. Oh god damn it. We can't grow weed so we have to buy it and you're gonna pay for it. Now it's just covered in hair and dust and grown up Cheetos. Later on in the commercial

he's just like emptying. Yeah he's just trying to pick it all out from the Cheetos. I hate those stupid commercials with kids acting like little shitheads and their parents are just sitting around. Like, oh, thank God for that damn Roomba so that I don't have to clean up after my kids. Instead, we're the ones right now acting like shitheads while our baby is just being really nice.

She's asleep. She's real teeny tiny too If anybody's wondering So tiny She might be absorbing some of this But like Right Don't call Nobody calls CPS

Jesus Nah they can't prove this happened You're cool This is an audiophile This is a great fucking thing about podcasts I could be in here just smoking fucking crack And nobody would Nobody would know

There's not even We're not. Instead, you're smoking meth. Instead. That we made earlier. Oh, it's Carrie's turn now, right? Oh, we're still in the room? Oh, shit, I'm sorry. Well, no, that's a good point.

I wanted to, yes, parenting in commercials is really bad. And it's all, it just keeps going with this whole like patriarchy thing and like some of that i mean whatever that's a whole nother thing but yeah like why is the mom or hanging around she's like i don't want to vacuum because i've got my chardonnay in the kitchen and i've ordered my blue apron meal and i don't you know like my range rovers in the shop right now

so I don't have anything to do. My husband's Range Rover is in the shop. It's just, I mean, watch TV for like an hour. You'll notice it. It's still going so strong. Oh yeah. Yeah. Anyway, yeah, Roomba's sucks.

Roomba's so sucks. So nah. Put it up for a vote. Nah. Oh wait, no. Wait a minute. Yeah, sucks. We have two, it's kind of confusing. It sucks or nah. So yeah up for a vote. Wait a minute. Yeah, it sucks. We have two.

It's kind of confusing. It sucks or nah. So yeah, it does suck. Yeah, nah on the Roomba. They suck. I'm going to abstain from the vote because I just found out what the Roomba was. What was your joke? I want to hear what joke you were going to make.

It doesn't make any sense now. I said. Which brings us to our next invention, the vacuum cleaner. I thought you were like. Which brings us to our next invention, the vacuum cleaner. I thought you were starting... Can this be about technology from 1950? I thought he was talking about some sort of Brazilian Congo instrument. I thought you were taking it way back.

It's a vacuum that teaches you how to dance. It does have a... They did miss an opportunity with that name. We totally could cosplay as 1950s radio people I wish you had a dance. It does have a, they did miss an opportunity with that. We totally could cosplay as like 1950s radio people and talk about. You're at a significant advantage because you got the best voice for it.

The potato whipper. I just realized we needed to be a little more. Need to whip your potatoes. When you brought up that, that reminded me like, we have to differ between just typical machinery versus technology. No, we don't. No, because it's anything that has a computer chip or anything in it. So you can buy now guitar amps that have computer chips in them

and LED light-up stuff, which didn't exist before. You're saying before the computer chip, it wasn't technology? Or it was just the machine? I would just call it- Or you just think it's changed since that's developed? Right, yeah. I'm saying modern technology, which is computers. I guess that's what I meant.

But yeah, technology developed with every kind of thing imaginable. Guitar amps, toasters, microwaves. Oh, yeah. Refrigerators. Guitar amps, toasters, microwaves. Oh, yeah. Refrigerators. Guitar amps and toasters. We could riff on this all night. You know, all that. But like in the 80s when people were starting to create modern technology,

because tell me one thing of modern technology right now that doesn't have anything to do with the internet or computers. Yeah, even refrigerators are on the net. Really? But anything that has an LED display that shows you the temperature on the fridge or anything like that, that is using modern technology of

computers. Right. I don't know if this qualifies, but I would add this caveat, the Snuggie. I would say only if it has, a Snuggie could only be technology that we're talking about right now if it had a computer chip

and it heated it up or something. Right now I would say Snuggies sucks, but if you added some LED lights to it, I'd say nah. Okay, all right. That's my opinion on the Snuggie. Snuggies should some LED lights to it, I'd say nah. Nah. Okay. Okay. All right. That's my opinion on the Snuggie. Okay. Snuggie should have LED lights.

If it starts getting real fancy with a computer chip, I'm going to get in there. You know what I mean? Because it's like you can choose when you wear it. It's not like you have to wear it to work or something. Right. You can wear it in the privacy of your own home and it do whatever. Right. Right, right. So in that case, I would say, nah, on a technology Snuggie.

That's just for the record, just to clarify, that's not my pick. I would take it. I get a different one. This is gonna be so confusing because nah means good. I would take a technology Snuggie if the chip

changed the outside appearance of it wherever you went. So you can look like you're naked. Yeah. But you're really in your clothing. Yeah, so I was butt ass naked. But I was really in a Snuggie. It's like the real version of a invisibility coat. Right.

So you make like your balls look really big. Just your, that's it like your normal your penis normal size swinging your balls just really large

or a nice like three thousand dollar suits or fucking anything come on three thousand dollars yeah

you would go I would make it look like I had swim trunks on when I went to the lake when I would get out of the water, my skin would look really weird.

It would start shorting out. Then you really would be naked under it and people could see. Yeah, it would start shorting out. It would make it look clear and you would really be naked. Not if they make it waterproof. Yeah, that's true.

And if they're going to take the pains to put LED lights in it, they should make it waterproof. If you true. That's true. And if they're going to take the pains to put LED lights in it, they should make it waterproof. If you're going to technologize a Snuggie, you're going to take some other chances. So we've got to say nah on that one. Nah on that one. Nah on that one.

And again, nah is good. Right. Sucks is bad, but nah is good. Right, right. It's sucks or nah. Sucks or nah. If you aren't being bitchy. The cool, waterproof, future Snuggie gets a nah. A first nah. you aren't Being bitchin' The cool waterproof

Future Snuggie Gets a nah A first nah Damn God damn it Whose pick was that Picking something That doesn't even exist

It was an evolution It was a group effort Oh god I'm so glad I'm not going next Because I still Haven't thought of anything Because I'm You're putting too much Pressure on I still haven't thought of anything because I'm

you're putting too much pressure on yourself I just rely on technology so much and when it fails for even the briefest moment I'm like oh fuck I was doing something really important I get paid to do this and now I can't do it for who knows how long let me just talk about a little bit of technology

that changed my fucking life I remember a time before when you could burn CDs and a time after you could burn CDs. And that was a pretty incredible thing. I remember when you could just take someone's CD and copy it. I mean, I can still burn CDs. You could still do it, right?

I still do it, actually. Who's the last person? Oh, yeah. I remember people would pay people like $20 for a mix CD. They would tell them the songs they want. Like, I want this Tool song and I want this Limp Bizkit song

and throw in this Kenny Chesney song. What would you do today if someone came up to you and asked for $20 for a mix CD? I would say, I'll do it for free. What tracks do you want? I'll see if we have them on our music server. I like the concept of different technologies

developing at sort of separate pace. Could you imagine, what if we got the technology, the ability to download somebody's consciousness onto a hard drive or something, some exterior object, got the technology, the ability to download somebody's consciousness onto like a CD, like a hard drive or something, some exterior object, but we hadn't really gotten past the CD. And so like all you could do is you could put it on a CD. And it was so fragile.

Yeah, yeah. It could easily be scratched. It's like all the CDs in your truck, right in your car right now that are just scratched as fuck on the bottom. Yeah, you have to take that and you have to put it in someone's console in their car, just somewhere in a cup holder or something are just scratched at the bottom. You have to take that and you have to put it in someone's console in their car. Just somewhere in a cup holder or something

and see how long it lasts. But it's your consciousness. You still feel the pain and all that of being a CD. Our second hypothetical technology of the day. That's a big leap from a Snuggie to that. It just makes you wonder, though, you know, like... Downloading consciousness.

Conscious Snuggies would be tight. That'd be cool. It would be cool if you could have a Snuggie, like, power armor, like, in Fallout,

but, like, yeah, it was... It had a consciousness of its own that you could communicate with. Oh, man. I don't know. No, I would like... That's terrifying. I don't know. No I would like.

It's terrifying. You know, imagine how powerful you would feel in a big thing of armor that had its own consciousness. Did it, did it, would it? And it would like, it would talk to you in like a very regal British accent. Yeah. But it'd be like, nah man, we ain't doing,

we're not doing that. And you'd be inside of him, it'd be hard. It could like override your manual commands. We're like, no, we're going home. You've had too much to drink. I'm like, no, goddammit. I was really clicking it with that girl. Your armor's just cock blocking you all the time.

I'm keeping you safe. I'm thinking about myself and you. Oh, shit. So, consciousness on CD, sucks or nah? I'm gonna say sucks. I say sucks. Yeah, that sucks. Good technology, shitty execution. Shitty execution.

And you know, for all that, my consciousness has been defragged so much that it accidentally deleted some parts that it shouldn't have. And so I'm not whole on a CD. I could use a defragging or two. Yeah. I've been... Do computers these days still defrag?

Is that a thing that we... Remember you would pull it up and it would be like 8,000 bricks. Yeah, defragment your C drive. You would defrag your C drive. Oh my God. You'd always ask the homeboy around the way how I can clean my computer up and they're like, you gotta defrag.

It was like a secret. It was a secret. You know what I mean? It was like the secret sauce to getting your computer back up and running. You're going to pay somebody. Defrag. You're right.

Or you can pay someone with a mustache $35 an hour to defrag your computer. And the shittier your computer is and the poorer you are, the longer it's going to take and the more it's going to cost. Do you think the geek squad at Best Buy still defrags CDRAD? That was probably how they got their business, their seed money, their seed capital. They knew the secret back in the day,

that you could defrag computers. They weren't telling anybody. I know what my piece of technology is, but I don't wanna skip Carrie, because she's next. Okay, so hold on. Defragging, sucks or nah? Defragging?

Nah. What's the year? I'd say, yeah. I do think that modern operating systems manually, like automatically take care of that for you. I hope so, because. I think so too. operating systems manually, like automatically take care of that for you? I hope so, because... I think so, too. I bet defragging was actually

the government's way of scanning your hard drive. It probably was. Everything's all just fragged up right now. No one's defragging it. Everything's fragged up. Who's gonna defrag it? Can I change my vote? If they just...

Right. The election needed to be defragged, and that's all Russia was trying to do. They were just trying to fucking get in and defrag it. Like, your shit's all... Your shit's all fragged. Your shit's all fragged up. They were like, Russia was the geek squad,

and they were like, your shit is fragged up. Gotta defrag it. By the way, everyone, we know how to use computers. Sort of. Yeah. So, okay, all right. So, Carrie, do you have one? Oh, gosh, okay.

No, not yet. Go ahead. You created one. You came up with one. Go ahead. I thought about this like it just randomly popped in my head. And it's something that's kind of tortured me because I was told

years and years and years ago to make an investment. No, it's not. Do I even have to say it? No, I told you. I'm thinking about this. See, what you do is you're the owner of your own business and you get people under you. Was the say it? No, I told you to stop thinking about this. You're gonna drive me to the street. See, what you do is you're the owner of your own business and you get people under you.

Was the devil involved? No. Was your soul on the line? I was initially told to invest $1,000, which I didn't have. I don't know if I have $1,000 right now to invest in anything other than food and clothes. I can tell you right now, no.

And rent and everything. Your wife can tell you no. Nah. That's a nah. A thousand to invest or nah? Nah on Matt's bank account. But back in that crazy world of 2007 or 2008, or it could have even been 2009, I don't remember.

Right after the financial crisis. So yeah, investing in something sounded like a great idea. There was a little thing sneaking around the woodworks called the Bitcoin. financial crisis. So yeah, investing in touching sounded like a great idea. It sounded like a great idea. There was a little thing sneaking around the woodworks called the Bitcoin. And so at this point

in time, you can get one of them little Bitcoin, you can invest in a little itty bitty Bitcoin that is as insignificant as a floppy disk now for a mere,

like I can't remember if it was eight cents or.8 cents or something, some bullshit amount. Like you spend more than that when you go to the grocery store and they're like, hey could you donate a dollar and some kid won't get their brains blown out or something. I'm like okay I'll do that. Juvenile diabetes research.

We're holding a gun to a six year old's head in a fucking dirty basement. Donate a dollar? Make sure that it doesn't get us. Or don't and we'll feed somebody. Or don't and we'll feed somebody. I don't know, are they hungry? Is it just someone that's going to come in the store?

So that 8 cents or.8 cents or whatever on this magical thing that is fucking stupid that people had stored on a hard drive somehow. So I actually, okay, and I'm going to go into this telling you that I don't fully know what Bitcoin is, but I've only kept up with the market of it, which is really, is it physically the coins that you see on the internet people holding up because my understanding was it was a digital currency yeah and you could store it on hard drives but then I see pictures of red coins with the gold

dollar signs on them and it's like is that Bitcoin would you really have to have thousands of these things a Maybe. That's just a physical representation of the money. A bar from Windows representing Bitcoin. Yeah, right, right, right. It's a representation of the money.

They want you to think that it's them trying to sell Bitcoin. Maybe that's the Bitcoin equivalent of like the big check. Oh, yeah. Yes.

You know what I mean? This year, one red coin is 10,000 Bitcoin shares. In some kind of magical internet currency. You're a stakeholder in our magical internet currency that I've never heard of anyone purchasing anything in.

I've never been to a store and they said, would you like to pay with Bitcoin? Like, do you get a Bitcoin card? Or is it like, you have to pay... It's a thumb drive. Yeah. Can I put this in your cash register it's going to install a program no that is a funny part

that is a hilarious point you bring up because as currency becomes less and less of a real thing it becomes harder and harder to convince people that you don't actually have any money on you so when brother can I spare a dollar and you're like no I don't have any money on you. So when, brother, can I spare a dollar? And you're like, nah, I don't have any change on me, man. He rips out like a card reader.

He's just like, yeah, but you can. I got Square in my pocket. Actually, all of my money is Bitcoin. Literally every penny of it. Yeah, we should start panhandling with Square. It's too late though for anything. If you've heard about it, it's too late. But I didn't make that investment

and I'm sure anyone with the internet or anyone that reads any kind of news, even if it's Huffington Post, will get. We'll catch on to the thing. When I told, I was like, I told my wife, Carrie sitting next to me here, I said, holy shit, several years ago, I could have even bought,

I had extra money. I was working a decent job. I could have bought $100 of these motherfuckers and we would be rich. Like, for that initial $1,000, I did the thing and it was like 22 some million dollars. And I was like, oh shit. Carrie, this sucks so bad. I literally was so close to being a millionaire

because I actually considered it. I could have invested a little bit of money. But then, I forgot. You know, I didn't think on it

at all. Right. Even though Carrie. Two weeks ago. And then. You're over. You've lost a lot of sleep over it.

And then, the most recent thing is it's went up like 500 extra dollars. But when it crashes, like, catastrophically, you'll feel great. No, you know, just out of curiosity, because people that I trust thought it was something interesting and good. And then, so I paid attention to it whenever I saw the name.

And, like, sometimes, you know, the shares were just up and down all over the place, up and down. But then it finally reached a point to where it was in the $500,000 range, up and down. You could say it was stable. Yeah. It was stable. But I think a $500 leap up and down all the time is not stable. But at least it's, like, fluctuating in a way that's not a crash considering people invested $0.08 per Bitcoin. Well, don't you think that there's a great risk that it's going to crash again?

And then ultimately, eventually, I realize now you could have... Like you said earlier, today, before this show, when you were... Again, this has been going on for a couple of weeks. I'm really upset about it. Today, when you brought it up again, after a couple of days, I was thinking we were moving on. But it... You walked in to find Matt crying.

I probably would have sold it at some point when it wasn't the Water Valley because it would have freaked you out. Right, I would have been like, oh my God. I'm going to completely lose my face. Oh my God. I'm making $6,000. It's up to $200 per Bitcoin.

Let's get rid of all this shit. Right. Or yeah, or it would have gone up a little bit and you would have been like, well, there's a good chance that, you know, so I don't think you actually

would have ended up with $22 million today. This is like the situation. Would you have had the discipline to wait it out? No, absolutely not. I would have been like, I invested such a small amount of money

into this pretend money. My mom brought this up too because she like, my grandfather died and she too because she like my like my grandfather died and she's she inherited like his whatever he had in stocks and stuff and she was like i just i sold all of it in this one thing because she's like i don't want to have to watch that and keep like she's the personality she has the personality where that would drive her crazy me too like you know you have money and something like that you're gonna watch it all the time and it's going

to you're gonna be obsessed with it yeah and you're gonna be obsessed with it. You could get obsessed with it if you don't even buy it. Thought you were gonna say, as it turns out, my grandfather was a Bitcoin magnet. Oh man, so he would have thought that was a bunch of baloney. This is like a situation where the Beatles had a drummer before Ringo Starr

and then they got huge and he was just like, fuck. That's happened to you. That happened to you with Bitcoin. It is, yeah. It happened with everyone, really, though. But if everyone would have bought Bitcoin, then... And it's funny. I think we're discussing technology that either doesn't exist

or we don't understand fully. So there's just a lot out there in the world. Is the form of technology we're talking about here, is it Bitcoin or is it just investments in general? Yeah. On both, my vote is sucks. I don't wanna deal with that mess. Me too.

I don't understand financial instruments. Your money isn't real. Your millions of dollars isn't real. Yeah, financial instruments really are a form of technology in some ways. Bury your gold. That's the only solution. Pee on your garden, bury your seeds.

I've wrestled with this, though, because being a socialist, how do you prepare for retirement? Like, ethically, within the framework of your... Because basically, what are you going to do if you get rich in America? Like, you're going to invest, invest, invest, and then hopefully through compound interest

and all these magical fairy dust that our Wall Street overlords sprinkle on it, then you'll retire with a million bucks or something, and then you could be considered rich. But if you don't want to participate in that market. But I think it's more of like we're the sort of customers like they're selling us

401ks these are financial instruments and people just take them and bid with them and you know what I mean like trade with them and then you get like a housing market crash or something like that or there's like a bubble a speculative bubble or something like that. Or there's like a bubble, a speculative bubble or something like that.

You just have to take a vow of poverty if you don't believe in participating in that. The thing is there's no ethical way to be, there's no way to be ethical, an ethical consumer. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's true. It's literally impossible.

Right. You don't know where anything's made and if the person got paid a fair wage, they created it. Right, right. Or where it was made. And I think when you're super mindful of all of that like I think I experienced this you get this huge weight of anxiety on you because you do have to participate yeah so then you're thinking it's like so you may be more of a

conscious consumer and you try your best to buy things that are more ethically sourced, but then you're just, but the weight of all that you can't do can be a real burden. That's why I say, yeah, I say fuck it, really. Yeah, just fuck it. You're only here. Let the chips fall where they may, but it might be a little harder to say when you have.

Let's do better in the next life. Yeah, we, I mean like. The children will take care. Well, we research baby stuff, baby stuff is important. Right, right. But for shit for me, as long as it doesn't kill me that day, it's probably fine. And your records aren't organic.

Yeah, all of my fair trade records. They were fairly traded to me, some of them. We encountered this because we got the True Obilities merch now that I'm just trying to unilaterally hawk. And so I've been trying to find T-shirts that are union-made and made in the USA, all this kind of stuff. You cannot find shit made in the USA. Without paying a fucking fortune for it. made in the USA all this kind of stuff and it's just like you could not find shit made in the USA without paying like

a fucking fortune for it which you know like I finally found one that was like union made in Tennessee for like I think 12

I hope so I have no idea are they airbrushed? oh my god you should have truly airbrushed yeah you're gonna have to

ditch the you're gonna have to ditch the you know those airbrushed t-shirts are not made in America we might dodge copyright

you're gonna have to ditch the copyright one and go to have to ditch the... You know those airbrush teachers are not made in America. We might dodge copyright issues. You're going to have to ditch the copyright one and go with the airbrush. Yeah, that is a great idea, actually. Woodware. Nah. Nah, it sucks all it wants. If you only have pain and tension. Nah, it sucks all it wants.

Yeah, hell yeah. But yeah, but you know, like you do that shit, it's just like we pay our workers fair wages, but like one man's fair wage is another man's, like, fucking, you know, bread line. Right. That's true. There is, like, more complicated. Like, I don't know.

There's all those. I'm not going to watch those documentaries because it's depressing. And that's a problem. But, you know, but to say, like, I don't want to buy this because it's not made in America. But, like, we don't know what good it could be doing, like, even if it is ultimately terrible. Yeah. I don't know. Ignorance truly is bliss.

All of this food tastes great, and it's so cheap, and all of this, you know. All the best food is the cheapest. Oh. GMOs, sucks or not? You know. A little bit of both. I heard they're not Oh, GMOs, sucks or nah? You know. Little bit of both. I heard they're not even real. Well, sucks or nah?

I heard they're not even real, I know. I've also heard that. To go back to the first thing I said when I was feeling a little shook, that's something you could be famous for, saying GMOs are fake. Yeah. You really could.

Oh that just brought to, so we have imaginary technology that hasn't been invented yet, technology we don't understand, and then like technology involved in conspiracy theories, so like chemtrails suck but as a concept nah very very nah the idea is brilliant

black helicopters sprinkling shit on people and they're unbeknownst so very nah does anybody else like really want all these crazy conspiracy things to be true like I just like I find I think because everything is so crazy in the news all the time,

we were talking about this at work the other day, how just there's this anticipation building all the time. Right, right. You're like, oh, today's the shit with Trump. This is it. Guys, this is it. We got him. And then something else happens.

And it's like, okay, well, maybe this is it. Yeah, but it's not. Are we going to do anything? But it's like that with everything. I think when you see something really horrible in the news, I remember thinking about in history class in school how you'd read about those little building events that led to World War I, World War II.

Yes, yeah. And in my head now, when I see the now, I'm like, when I see the news I'm like, is this it? Is this one of those little things that's going to lead to the next? And it's almost like I get excited about it, which is horrible. I don't want any of this shit to happen. I don't know. We're in a weird

generation where like the Iraq War was not anything that we really understood. I don't think. It was sold to us on lies. The literal New York Times said that. Via the internet. Via the internet, right. But also everything, despite having so much information,

yeah, despite having so much information, we still didn't really have to see any of it. It's not like, I mean, we probably all knew somebody who might have been deployed, but they enlisted in the service. There wasn't a draft. There's still a war. We're still at war in Afghanistan. It's crazy.

But we don't really see that. Exactly. I mean, you can, again, if you read HuffPo, maybe you get a little bit of that. That's where I go for my war correspondence. But it's like, and so it's, I don't know how I got off on that tangent, but like, it just,

I don't know. I read the news, I see all this stuff and you're like, ah, all of this stuff is crazy and there's gonna be

an apocalypse. Like, the economy's gonna crash. Yeah. And the thing that maybe makes me most excited about that is they might get rid

of my student loan debt. Somewhere in the hip. I'm kind of like, please let all of this go away, including the internet, so that I don't have to pay back my student loans. Yeah.

Yeah. That is... Oh, that's adorable. We just got a baby burp on the podcast. Hey, buddy. I'm going to get the hiccups. Yep, there it is. Hey.

Big oaf. So, yeah, it definitely feels like these are exceptional times. But it's also, I think it's also because we're like at that age where we feel like we're the most important. Yeah, the most important generation. I don't think so. Probably not. I don't value myself at all.

I know that we're not, but as a collective, I think it's just like... Our children are, because they're going to have to deal with the most fucked up shit. The homie right here, Burpin... It's all on you, baby. It's all on you. Hiccup Queen is going to save the world, maybe. Probably not. In the headphones, this is great radio.

This is incredible. Is it? Oh, so good. radio. This is incredible. Oh, so good. She's just weighing in. Everyone loves a baby. She's weighing in. She's like, yes, when Franz Ferdinand was shot in Eastern Europe in 1914.

This is very much. I can picture the image and the paragraph above it and the question I had to answer. What world event? Yeah. Right. In my social studies workbook. Yeah. In the eighth grade or whatever. With now,

with what, now they'll be like, it'll be when they held the orb. You know, the glowing orb. But that's the other thing with all this stuff is like, like,

real shit's so crazy that like, we've become desensitized to all of our favorite conspiracies. Like, Yes. All this like, black helicopters and chemtrails, like, wait. Like, I think a lot of our, Child's play. Like, I think most of our favorite conspiracies. Yes. All this like black copters and chemtrails,

like, wait. Like, I think a lot of our- Child's play. Like, I think most of our parents do not really believe that the Kennedy assassination was a conspiracy. We, however, know it is. Right.

And 9-11 most likely was. Martin Luther King, definitely killed by the government. For sure. Like, I mean, with 9-11, I've always, I mean, The majority of people, I believe, was an inside job. I like Stanley Kubrick so much.

And I feel like in the past, if that had happened, they'd be like, that's a horrible thing to say. Why would you assume that? But we're like, why wouldn't that happen? Makes perfect sense. The internet told me so. All right.

But I'd like to believe that the moon landing is fake because I like Stanley Kubrick so much. I would like to believe that the moon landing is fake too, just because... But I want it to come out. That's part of the conspiracy thing. Like, let that be in the next box set. The moon landing.

Here it is. In high definition, the moon landing. They're like Paul Thomas Anderson doing director's commentary and they've got all this. Like he's one of the greatest directors to ever live. So fake moon landing is nah? I'd say fake moon landing is very nah. Very nah.

Very, very nah. Yeah, that's... Yeah. I just think that I went... That would have... That you would have had to have gone to too much trouble to fake it.

Actually, I guess it was more trouble to actually do it. I don't know. My whole thing... Yeah. My whole thing with the moon landing... If you had OSK on the job. My whole thing with the moon landing

is like, why the hell haven't we been back? No, here's like... You know, technology only got better. Why wouldn't we do it? Because no one's gonna fund

something like that. Because there ain't shit up there. Yeah. What the fuck do you liberals wanna do with it? I have heard people say that. I have heard leftists and liberals say that.

Like, no, we need to get rid of NASA. It's space. Like, what are you talking about? Space is fucking awesome. That's where we need to go. We need to go there. That's where we're going

to have to go. We need to explore that. We've bored this hole out. We need to get need to go. We need to go there. That's where we're going to have to go. We need to explore that. We've bored this hole out. We need to get the fuck out. We need to vacate. Space, very nah. Yeah, space not. Vacating Earth, nah.

Nah. Sucks we have to do it, but nah. Nah. And to remind everyone the game sucks or nah. The listener, nothing for this one. You know this isn't live The listener, not the participants. You know this isn't allowed. They're not tuning in. They're gonna listen to it still. They can't eat it.

They can't eat it. How do you consume your Trillbillies? Oh, I snort mine. I eat mine. Snorting Trillbillies? Speaking of eating technology, there's now pills you can swallow that tells you if you have cancer or not.

No shit. Your stomach or intestines. But he definitely has cancer. You know he does. So what happens? He has to. Is it like a... He has to have it.

He eats literal garbage You just can't Not read And eat bad stuff For that many years And not have cancer I'm sorry But can we please Discuss for a moment

You may have already Discussed it We discussed this The other day About how he thinks That we have a finite Amount of energy Yeah

Yeah How he thinks You have a finite Amount of energy. Yeah. Yeah, how he thinks you have a finite amount of energy. Humans are like batteries. Dude. And we just... Like, it's one thing to refute climate change

that every scientist agrees on. And it's another thing to believe that exercise will make you die younger. Folks, this morning I woke up with 7%. I'm losing it. If I walk, if they make me walk to the helicopter, I'm going to lose 1%.

He's going to have a yellow battery because he put it on battery conservation mode. Someone takes it out of his back and licks it to see if it shocks their tongue or not. They're like, oh, it's still good. No, the pill you take to know if you have cancer or not is if you take it and their tongue or not. They're like, oh, it's still good. No, the pill you take to know if you have cancer or not is if you take it and you just feel better. You're like, yep, you have cancer. No. Because you don't feel shitty anymore.

Okay, so this is also, and I really, I think the theme is like technology that you're vaguely aware of or that doesn't exist. So I've skimmed through an article and there's like this pill that will do like some diagnostic stuff that you swallow. It has some computer shit in it. Oh it does?

So yeah. Oh shit. It's Rick Moranis. So what if they just poop it out? It's Rick Moranis, it's a little guy and he just goes. It's Rick Moranis with an MD. He keeps getting smaller and smaller every time they take him back to normal

size by like millimeters. They're starting to get really concerned. He goes in with a little spaceship and finds all your cancer cells. It's like Magic School Yes. Oh god I was almost about to say something really fucked up.

Let's hear it. If it's in the spaceship and it's detecting all the cancer and it can get rid of it, it wouldn't be able to go into your bones to see if you had cancer in your bones. It would find a way. But you didn't have to bore into them. Yeah, like a laser.

It would get all the marrow all messed up. You wouldn't feel it because it would be such a tiny laser. It would just bore through the marrow. It would be high-powered, like ion. I guess the hole would be really small. The hole would be tiny. Don't you think that if, well, I think that if it has a computer chip in it and a pill,

that's going to give you cancer itself, like isn't it? Yeah. Like don't they say? It's like boob implants. It's like, yeah, it'll give you cancer uh everything gives you cancer but it's the same thing with um yeah you're putting something foreign those things have silicone in them those chips have silicone in them in this tiny spaceship and it's gonna get in your body and it's gonna that tiny spaceship has silicone. The emissions from the tiny spaceship are gonna go down. Oh man.

It has to have some kind of fuel to get around there. Yes, yeah. You'll be confident. Exhausted. It's that catch-deuce dose, man. Catch-deuce dose. God damn it. But that's just something that I really don't know very much about.

And so I just mentioned it. They're trying to develop it. I don't think people are actually already swallowing the pill and then finding their cancer yet. But I'm saying nah. Nah on the sucks. I think sucks. Yeah. Let's figure out otherwise.

Yeah, but it's good if you are like, oh man, my stomach's kinda messed up, I think I need to just swallow this. That's true, that would be better for intestinal things. But I guess the catch is they have to keep you in the hospital until you shit out the computer chip pill. Because it's millions of dollars worth of technology.

You can't just take it home and flush it down the toilet. Aw, man, my little kid flushed it. My dog ate it. Hope I got good insurance. You know, my thought is overall technology

is the greater good, but the bad shit is really starting to creep up there. Like, the dark corners of the internet are really gaining momentum. And I don't know how you combat that because the people that are into fucked up shit and into illegal stuff are the people that just happen to be really good at hacking computers and doing internet trickery. Bad things with the internet. Do you think with that, do you think that people who happen to be good at,

good at the internet, do you think that they happen to be, just like finding it to be lucrative to delve into the bad stuff? Oh yeah. Or do you think that bad people are driven to get good at the internet? Both.

I think. Yeah, it's probably both. I think honestly what it is,, it's probably both. Yeah. I think, honestly, what it is, is it's like some organized crime outfit in, like, Lithuania, and they, like, fucking, you know, just like any organized crime outfit,

they have, like, specialists, you know, and some of them are hackers, and they're just like, all right, you're gonna hack into Martha's computer. She's 56. She has all this money, and you're gonna hold her files ransom, and she's gonna have to pay.

You know what I'm saying? Like any con artist, they prey on vulnerable people. So don't put important stuff. People don't realize, like, you know, people are like, oh my God,

internet security, this and that, and what have you, all the time. We've been watched from the inception of the internet. A friend of mine back in, this was, you know, and watched from the inception of the internet. A friend of mine back in, this was where I grew up in rural Pike County out in Marbon Creek.

The internet, having a good internet connection was like, oh, let's go to this guy's house because it rules. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. A friend of mine, his cousin, who's also, I mean, he's a friend as well, and he, you know, this was back when you had these weird torrent sites, like Napster was a big, huge thing, and LimeWire and all that for music,

but then there was other ways to get things you wanted, movies and even video games. So this guy downloads this Star Trek or Star Wars game. No, it was a Star Wars game. Flash forward a few days. LucasArts calls his house. Holy shit, George Lucas himself? No.

LucasArts calls his house and tells him, delete that video game or we're gonna see you. That's fucking crazy. I don't know who that is. You know LucasArts? Yeah, George Lucas and the maker. Oh, the LucasArts ended up being, I mean they were like the production company of all kinds of shit,

but they also did a bunch of video games. You know when they remade the Star Wars and it was a piece of shit and they put like digitized Jabba the Hutt in there? I guess so. That was all LucasArts. Yeah. Still mad about that to this day.

They also made a lot of video games. But you know what? Sucks on that one. Sucks on the digital. Yeah, sucks on the technology on the new Star Wars, on the remastered Star Wars. But this was like, just think, this is 2017, this was like maybe in 1999, 2000, 2001,

I don't fucking know. Somewhere early, like before I had the internet. And I'm like, oh my God, he's gonna go to jail. That's crazy. And like, I was like, that's fucked up. This happened to me when I was a student in college. I like illegally downloaded like a Nas album on the computer, the internet.

I can't believe you're admitting to that. Which one was it? It's illegal, Terrence, to download music. I thought you were bagging on Nas first. Yeah, I was waiting where you were going with that. Nas or nah. But I got a letter from the RCAA or whatever, or an email terrified me, scared the fuck out of me.

I was like, I'm going to fucking jail, man. That's usually all they have to do. You probably deleted your whole fucking music library. You was like, I'm going to fucking jail, man. That's usually all they have to do. You probably deleted your whole fucking music library. You're like, I'm getting rid of it all. I put it in my microwave, I microwaved my hard drive. Yeah. Mr. Robot. But nowadays, it's like 2017, and you can

just go on a legal, okay okay so that album that you were and i i've read one time i read a comment on the internet that pissed me off so bad because it was like on something that was a record or something like that and someone was like and this is coming from someone that's like obsessed with buying records they were like why would why would you spend money on a cd or record we can just listen to any damn thing you want on youtube and i was like you because that's true and and you because you don't get why you don't understand it yeah yeah it's okay to own the you actually own the music i don't want i'm not uh ever in the middle of the woods and be like i'm gonna pull up a youtube video and play it and i'm just looking

at terrence because i actually have done that we've done that we go hiking sometimes to pull up um like rayquan we're going up the side of a mountain that has happened we can't remember what this what these lyrics of this one song was and i still don't think we figured it out but maybe we did one time we were sitting in a little cop's you know like a little area of trees But maybe we did. One time we were sitting in a little cop's, you know, like a little area of trees, and I put up that little video of Angelo Badalamente playing the Twin Peaks theme with David,

sitting next to David Lynch. I went home and immediately made Carrie watch that after we got back from that hike. It's so good. Well, so, well, yeah. Where was that? Where did we start with that well i don't know we got real far oh god um i think i was just saying the oh oh really horrible stuff on the internet oh yeah yes oh yeah manipulative exploitative people online and And now as more and more older people are joining the internet,

you have people that are just like, oh, my computer's fucked up. I know, I feel like... Here's my credit card number, fix it for me. That literally happens. But I feel like we need to protect the old people as much as we have to protect the children. There needs to be more community internet technology workshops. You're talking about internet guardians?

Sounds like you're talking about an internet guardian. An internet guardian. Yes, someone who hangs out with old people. The thing that makes you the angel is... Don't smash that motherfucking like button. Don't smash that motherfucking donate button. Don't slide into the DM. You're the guardian because you're protecting them from the internet, that motherfucking like button. Don't smash that motherfucking donate button. Don't slide into those DMs.

Don't slide into those DMs. You're the guardian because you're protecting them from the internet, but you're the angel because it's extremely frustrating. Yes, yes. Older people don't need to end their lives knowing what horrible things are on the internet. No.

You know, let's protect them. True, yes. The children are going to have to protect us someday. Yeah. Because it's only going to get worse. And I'm not going to want to see that shit. I'm not going to have the time or money or patience to keep up with it. I had this theory, I don't know, I was thinking about it in high school or college or whatever,

but I always had the theory that because technology seems to have changed so rapidly, like, you know, it's always exponential growth, but because it seems to have changed so rapidly with us, like, we remember not having the internet. Right. I remember not even having a computer at my house. Yeah. And, like, because of that, and now look where we are,

I was like, oh, well, our generation will do so much better because we're used to it changing, and we're used to having to keep up with it that when you know it'll be fine but no i already don't give a shit about a new iphone like i don't my phone's fine it's a phone i don't care like i use it i utilize it but like i don't care her generation will have sentient snuggies that have like rocketers, Twitter in the fucking visor. And little robot internet guardians to protect them from child porn. And little fucking robots that are sprayed out

through little aerosol vents in the helmet that go into you and just fix all your shit. And just fix all your shit. Defrag you. Yeah, they defrag you. fix all your shit. Like they see you have cancer. Yeah, they frag you.

All the gnaws will be in the fucking future sentient Snuggie. She's so happy that that's gonna happen. Really, technology's like, it has to move with the teenagers. With the 12 to 25 year old.

Right. That's where it's moving. And like the attention spans of humans are becoming shorter and shorter and shorter. I will find myself, you know, I'm a 31 year old man and yes, I like to play video games and I waste a lot of time when I should be playing all, the extreme amount of money I've invested in instruments

just laying around and I'm not playing any of them. Because you're a very hard working and you're a wonderful father. So don't beat yourself up. So this is me time. But I will find myself a game will be loaded. I'll be like a game has to load in between some bullshit for like 25 seconds and I'll

pick up my phone and scroll for that amount of time. Why the fuck do I need to be taking in more information? Everybody does though. I do that at like red lights. I'm like... I can't have my mind be still. more information. Everybody does though. I do that at red lights. I can't have my mind be still. I must entertain myself. So much of my job.

I hate that actually. And I do it too. I hate when I observe other people do it. I hate when I realize I'm doing it. I hate seeing kids that are already like four years old and have their own fucking iPads. I hate that. All that shit sucks all that sucks and i don't know that there's a way around it except to just like

to unless you make your it's like you have to make yourself exercise you gotta make yourself eat healthy you have to make yourself not stare at your phone all the time and it's really really really hard and i hate that i hate that it's hard so much for my relationship all my relationships really a lot of my job is correspondence with dozens of people. I have to be on my phone constantly. I have to be answering emails. But you're not constantly answering emails. Right, but it's like,

but here's the thing. Yeah, that's it, everybody is like that, you're right. It builds a paranoia in you, because every single time I'll set my phone in another room in the kitchen or leave it in the bedroom or something and I'll go back to it 20 minutes later, and there'll be, like, two missed calls,

and they'll be like, some crisis happened, and you're responsible for it because it's your job. Right. Why weren't you paying attention? I was like, I'm just, people are bogged down. Hold on, though. Because you have to be paying attention constantly for everything.

That's bullshit, though. So today, though, for example, I left my phone in my car when I went to lunch, and, like, while I was sitting at lunch. I mean, I wasn't gonna go out and get my phone. That's bullshit, though. So today, though, for example, I left my phone in my car when I went to lunch. And, like, while I was sitting at lunch. I mean, I wasn't going to go out and get my phone. That's dumb. But I did look for my phone five times in my bag. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Like, I was trying to reach for it. It was just a habit. I was like, oh, I have to look at my phone. But that's bullshit, though, about, like, oh, something happened at work and you're responsible for it. And I have to, like, I will say, you're not a doctor. That's true. And, like, you will say, you're not a doctor. That's true. And like, you're not, people aren't dying, but everybody expects it because you can have your,

you can have your own. There there, my God. No, it's really, I feel like, it feels like I'm not, I'm like I'm a failure if something like that happens. No, that's you, that's your little thing. So really, I'm putting on the responsibility of needing to constantly look at my shit.

Dr. Carter would be tight though. Dr. Carter, I really on the responsibility to constantly look at my shit. Dr. Carter would be tight, though. Dr. Carter, I really need my pills to know if I have cancer or not. Wasn't that George Clooney on ER? Was it Dr. Carter? Was he Dr. Carter? No, there is no streaming service that streams ER.

I don't know. It really pisses me off. I never watched ER. But because you can have email on your phone and because most people do use it and because you can text your coworkers and do this and that, I think there's way more expectations of people to be on the job way more than 40 hours a week. Not just people who really do have to be on call. I get it with the radio.

You've got to go do stuff. But I don't need to be looking at my email at 8 o'clock at night. When I go home, I'm home. My job does not require me to keep in touch with everybody. Most people don't. So why are we doing that? Why are you allowing yourself

to check your email all the time and be like, oh shit, this thing that could totally wait until tomorrow, I'd have to do right now. I do need to let myself go. But I think my mistake is having my work

and personal email all checked at the same time. And I don't like to leave the little red numbers on any of my stuff. I'm a completist. That's my technology thing. The little red notification thing on your iPhone sucks. Yeah.

I turn it off on everything. Except when it's on Twitter. Because then I'm like, oh, yeah. I don't have Twitter. Oh, my brother does. Submit it with no comment. My brother, like half of his apps on his home screen have just a million little red dots.

A million red dots. I can't look at his apps. That's why he told you to call his management. The sentient Snuggie will make you see people, and when you see them, they'll have like a 13 and a red dot. You'll be like, oh God, I don't wanna talk to that person. You got like 13 things. You don't. You'll be like, oh God, I don't want to talk to that person. Like 13 things. I would love for a sentient Snuggie to tell me who I don't want to interact with.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. With a little red dot next to their head. If you see that red dot, like this is not going to mesh with your personality. Don't waste your time. Yeah. Oh yeah.

You know, technology is also making everyone fucking stupid and also not being able to just interact and live life. Like, you don't... Sometimes, I remember the days where you just went into a place, you didn't look up how many stars it had on Facebook or Yelp. You just went in there, you just lived your life. Just based on the atmosphere outside. Oh, you've got the internet,

so you've got to be satisfied every moment of your life. Yeah. There was a world where you'd go into a bar and you'd just talk to people and meet people that way. And now people have apps when they look, they're like oh this person looks attractive and I'm gonna message them and then maybe we'll have sex later tonight.

That's fucking crazy. Yeah. I've never done that tonight. That's fucking crazy. Yeah. I've never done that. So here's the thing. Carrie's like, I better be crazy. I never will. Here's the thing, you have that thought a lot, but you never actually execute it.

Nobody ever actually. It's so much work. I can just lay here and look at my phone. Right, right. That made people really smash off a Tinder. I'm sure it happens, but for me, goose egg. Goose egg? When I was a teenager, the best app.

Look where you live. I mean, you're not in like a city where I think there's more opportunity for an office. There would have been an app that like, okay, so 21 year olds, 21 year old and up. Actually, now that I think about this app I'm creating, sounds like a pedophile app. So maybe. I was like, it's an app for teenagers about this app I'm creating sounds like a pedophile app.

I was like, it's an app for teenagers that can locate someone 21 years their older to buy them alcohol. But then it works. Retraction. Pedos. Taking that back. Maybe edit that one out.

They will for sure. That one can cut the floor. I'm not editing that out. A pedo. It's a pedo pedo It's a pedo app No but here's the thing The older person can't contact the younger person It only shows when the older person Is near a gas station that sells alcohol

Or a liquor store I don't think there's any way you can say that Nor should you try I think it sounds like the younger person might need an internet guardian. And an actual parent guardian. Yeah, actual physical. How do you parent on the internet? I don't know.

I'm actually really terrified about that. But see, fortunately, our children have a tech-savvy dad that can put in place all of the proper parental guidelines and what not. But only at your house. Only at our house. Like as they get older and they go other places or like your other childhood is not at our house all the time. Like that's

scary. Like not that there's Yeah. She could like go to her friend's house and see boobs on the fucking TV And balls Yeah Or even Oh kids are so smart And the idiots who run public school systems

Are so dumb Like they're gonna That's terrible I should say that But you know it's true Like young kids are gonna They're gonna be showing it Teachers are gonna be showing it

They're gonna get around All the internet proxies And they're gonna be doing That just shows how much money We need in Like pulling out money From education Is the most fucked up thing you can do to America.

We need money in education just so we can have internet guardians at all the schools. Right. We should be dumping all the money and assets possible to educating children. Children are literally the most important item on earth. Let's start her college fund in Bitcoin. Yeah. I wish I could have. She doesn't like that idea. I know because it's dumb.

I don't think it's a real thing. She's like, Bitcoin is not a secure investment. You don't understand. What are you guys, stupid? This is not if I had a cinch and snuggie you could translate. Is there a Bitcoin bank? Can you pull out your Bitcoin? Or do you have to transfer it to stock? Oh, that would be tight.

They tell you what the baby's thinking. At least in your Oh, that would be tight. They tell you what the baby's thinking. Like I, yeah, I mean, at least in your home that way you, they know, because you're, as a parent,

you're the authority figure and so like, Theoretically. No, they don't ever have to deal with the police. They're not driving a car and we're worrying,

oh my God, I drank a few beers and I might get pulled over and my child's in the back. They're just like, duh, I'm playing with a toy and looking out the window. They don't give a shit.

But if their dad was like, quit doing whatever it is you're doing back there, hopefully they'll listen. Right. No, but theoretically also you instill in them some values consistently as they're growing up to where they're not quite as interested in getting into stuff. But some people, they're just how they are.

Instilling values is hard. Yeah. But are your values going to overshadow the value of the internet? You can go on there and literally look up fucking anything. You can look at anything. You can type up something you never would want to see ever and see it. True. Back in the day, when we were kids,

if someone had a catalog that you could see a woman's nipples through a bra, we were like, this is fucking crazy. Dude, we're nine years old

and you can see a woman's nipples. Can you believe JCPenney's printed that? That's just a catalog. We saw the catalog that you could see the guy's dick.

We had that. I really hope my mom never threw that away. We had the JCPenney catalog where you could see the guy's dick. And you jerked off to that. I really hope my mom never threw that away. We had the JCPenney catalog where you said the guys did. And you jerked off to them. Absolutely did not, but I made my mom find it. I was like, we have to find that.

We have to find the guy's penis hanging out of the boxer shorts. Oh, hanging out? Like not just hanging out? It was hanging out? Okay, so imagine this. I'm confessing to you all. It was like a short coat boxer,

but it was just like the dick head. The dick head was hanging out of the... Yeah. So obviously he had a really large penis. Let's get past that.

But there was a... But the photographer and the model didn't notice that the guy's dick was hanging out. And the editor. And the editor and the printer

or anyone. Or all of them were just like, fuck it. The dick. There was definitely at least two people who worked together to say, fuck it, let's see if anybody finds out. And they didn't.

And then someone did. And it was on the news. I thought. Or I could be making that up. But there was a penis. So you saw the news and you told your mom you wanted to get it. And then she was like, yeah, let's find it. No, I think she told me about it.

I think she told me about it and then we looked at it. That's hilarious. Keep in mind, I was probably like 11 or something. So, like, dicks were funny because I was a man and I had one. Still funny. And I still do. I still have my penis. Carrie just has my balls.

Oh, well. Gary just has my balls Oh well Just one of them Maybe one of them Would calm me down a little bit Oh Alright Yeah that's Yeah We've hit

A good hour and fifteen So I think we're Probably good to Unless y'all have anything else You wanna Submit to the sucks or nah well I will say that Carrie

and Tom never did give their technology piece I've been sitting here debating what I would go with when my time came and I had to pee really bad,

that's why I jumped up and left a second ago. And so that kind of swayed the needle toward Stadium Catheter. But I was torn between Stadium Catheter and the Ron Pope Hill Set It and Forget It machine. I'm gonna go. Set It and Forget It, I love those names. I'm gonna go I'm gonna go with Stadium Catheter

was that a real thing? I guess race car drivers use them too when you piss you can drink like 16 beers and just like piss is there a computer chip in it? see that's that's why

not yet so Stadium Catheter with computer chips sucks it up See, that's why. Not yet. Not yet. Maybe it's going to be diagnostic. So stay in catheter with computer chips. Yeah. Master Carter, 5% blood in your pee pee. Yes, it could tell you your alcohol level. Yeah, yeah, it would. Well, no, it's not blood.

0.12%. You can drug test yourself, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why it's drug testing. You will get this job. Methamphetamines. You passed your drug test yourself too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why it's drug testing. You will get this job. Methamphetamines. You passed your drug test. Come for the not having to pee in public bathrooms and stay for the urinalysis.

Yeah. That's a catchy, catchy slogan. I'm going to say sucks because I don't want to have to put anything in my penis. I don't think you have to put it in my penis. I think it's kind of like a condom. I think you just put it on there and it's good. You don't have to have it. Oh, really?

Otherwise you have to have on there and it's good. Oh, really? Oh, no. That seems to me that it would be... No, no, you don't because... Remember we saw the commercial where the guys order the catheters. You put a greasy rod with a tube in your penis. Wait, but doesn't a home medical nurse come do that, though? You don't just do that yourself. No, I think the catheter, stadium catheter,

the tubes has to be big. Yeah, it's just something that goes over. Maybe it's like a PVC pipe. I thought a stadium catheter. I don't know that I could utilize that successfully. I feel like there would be a lot of... Logistical issues. I was picturing going to Reparina

And sticking a catheter in your dick To piss I was like is that a stadium I'll just take my chances with the lines I would just get a garden hose Cut it off, lube it up I hate pissing at Reparina so bad It's the giant

40 foot wide trough No matter how hard you try You can be looking up at the ceiling and still see penises it's awful not only am i seeing their penises they're seeing mine you look up i'm sorry i can't tell them i'm sorry because we're pissing next to each other but if we were not if it wasn't if we didn't have stalls in all of our bathrooms, I could never pee. I never could. I get real bad pee shyness.

I could not pee in front of anybody else. Oh, yeah, I get the worst pee shyness. Try being a grower instead of a shower at a 40-foot trough in Rupp Arena. Like a cakewalk, my friends. It's awful. It's really bad. You think, too, the nature of that. Like, you can't see what we got.

So like, why is it, well, there's all. There's other stuff going on. There's one on it, nevermind. That's not worth going on. Gender, sucks or nah? I guess both. Sucks, but I don't know. Yeah, well.

It's fine. It's just one of those things you can't say either way. You're wrong no matter what you say. That's true. those things you can't say either way. You're wrong no matter what you say. There are no right answers. Carrie, do you have one to close us out? You don't have to, I don't want to put you on the spot. Keep in mind, Tom's been back in the 1980s with his technology.

That took us back too far. Yeah. The back-end. Well, I mean, like the, well, no, I guess 70s because, yeah, computer stuff would have been really booming in the 80s.

I do have one, and it's, I could, there could be something serious. I'm not going to do anything serious. I think this is, okay. New refrigerators that have the glass front door. Now, and they do have computers,

you know, they're computerized. They have like a little screen or whatever. Very aesthetically pleasing. Oh, wow. They're very nice to look at. Well, you know, they're computerized. They have like a little screen or whatever. Very aesthetically pleasing. Oh, wow. They're very nice to look at. If you want to keep your fridge in good order, you know, I mean, there's a glass door.

Like, I mean, if there was a glass door on my refrigerator right now, not aesthetically pleasing. Can it project some sort of like moving image onto like a waterfall? Like when somebody's coming over, you put on a picture of a clean, organized fridge. When they open it, it's just like shit.

Yeah, it's just dripping everywhere. Do they have a touchscreen on them? They do. It's usually like a two-door thing. You know how there's the freezer side and the fridge side? The freezer side probably has your ice maker, your drink dispenser, and then your computer screen that says you probably set the temperature there

or whatever on the freezer side I would have like oh my but I don't think you can usually see into the freezer side

but I haven't really I'm not like fridge shopping but like I was gonna say severed heads you know what I mean like on the

projected image and then people open it and she's like haha just kidding I'm not really a mass murderer I don't think

that would be so fun though if you could change the image but on the but on the fridge side you know it's like glass you like see into the actual fridge so i guess the the idea is that you can look there and know what you want to get and then get it quicker maybe i don't know what the point of it is honestly and at first i was like that that's stupid. Big ol' sucks. Big ol' sucks. But I think nah now because I think it would make me want to keep my fridge organized. Yeah. It's a good incentive for wanting to keep your fridge organized. That's probably

the only reason. But if they make it to where you can change out the image, even more nah. Oh, hell yeah. Because otherwise you're going to have like any, like a DirecTV repairman come in and see everything that's in your fridge, that's embarrassing. Yeah.

So, nah on that. I'm gonna say nah. Yeah. Nah. Yeah, nah. The fridge? The fridge with the glass door. If it has, especially not if it has the image

you can project of like Michael Jackson catching his hair on fire while he's coming down. Like that would be on my fridge. Just. That's the only stock image it comes down. Like, that would be on my fridge. That's the only stock image it comes with. Yeah, that's the only stock image it is. It just plays through the entire black or white video. With audio.

I'm gonna say sucks on its current incarnation because I know it doesn't do any of that. And then nah if it does gain the technology to be able to project images on it. Because people see it. I mean, I know what the fuck's in my fridge. I'm the one that bought all the groceries. I don't need to look through the glass. But I guess on a conservationalist point of view, you're saving energy a lot.

Because if you're hanging that fucking door open for an extended period of time, especially you're buzzed up. Oh, yeah. You're like, let me see what kind of snacks I can get. You don't have to do that. Right. But you don't have the power of moving stuff around. I don't know.

I'll go not to. Yeah, okay. All right. Baby O goes with... She sucks on her hand, which I think means... Nah. I think would mean suck, but I think it means nah. All right. Well, what about this episode, baby-o? It's going to be a career ender for me.

I think it's a nah. A career starter for her. Yeah, yeah. She's had a good battle, haven't she? Yeah, our special guest, our youngest guest to have on the show at three months. So, yeah, the average age in this room right now is like... That should probably not be encouraging to a younger audience.

Just because the average age of the podcaster comes down does not mean a younger child should listen to this. There's a lot of bad language. True. There is some bad language. We will not... You should do a censored version of it. Why?

And put it on Why? You'd have to censor. It would be like five minutes long. You'd have to censor out the language and most of the subject matter. That's true. Although this has been a pretty clean episode. Just some curse words. Radio Disney might pick it up if you cut

out all the dirty words. Well, you're talking about putting your dick in a garden hose. Well, there's that. Severed heads in my freezer. Yeah. Donald Trump having cancer. The JCPenney's are the dick that you can see. Oh, yeah. That was a little... Yeah, okay.

Well, thanks for joining us this week. Thanks for having me. The Carter family, everybody! All right. Clap track. I wish I could make her make a noise yeah she hooked up though yeah that was the cutest part it had to be a public domain hand clap

alright I didn't mean to make y'all so paranoid online