Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 113: Cotard's Delusion for the Masses

Episode Date: September 12, 2019

We've got a live one here folks. We cover everything from gun control to Jonathan Franzen to Chris Paul Hayes. Then we do a Tony award-winning dramatic reading, wherein Tanya plays Gail Collins and Tom plays Bret Stephens. Support the Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

do you think the people pay you to hear us talk about local shootings yeah in the city tom there's a shooting like every yeah every five seconds according to trump i was very excited about that high-speed chase at the creek no one else cared well here's the thing though here's the difference though is yeah there might be more prevalent but when you have a shooting in a town of 1500 people it's failed a little more acutely so you're saying that content wise a shooting in a tent this is the law of content because shooting in the town of 1500 people is better content than a shooting yeah the higher your population diminishing returns on i shouldn't say that we really do have a problem in this damn country gun violence is a problem um and yet we in this county i mean if i went off on this i would lose i would lose my shit like it's very disturbing that we're getting

millions of dollars to open a shooting range all the problems in this county sorry i hit the button on accident. I lost it. Let's talk about our stance on guns. Okay. Where are we at on all this? What is your stance on guns? I've actually never asked you, Tanya. What is your stance on guns?

Y'all know I have shotguns. Well, yeah, but that's different than... Well, so a shotgun is a shotgun, right? But, like, what about... Shotguns proof rage is eating up you're not you're not going to the shooting range to shoot a shotgun right um what do you what are your stance on the kinds of guns that you go to the shooting range to use i don't even know what those are i don't even know what happens at a fucking shooting range but i can tell you no good's coming over there.

Nothing good is being planned at the fucking Letcher County shooting range. So they're building a shooting range here with money from, like, the government? Yeah. Soar. It's soar money. So Hal Rogers got us some money to build a shooting range yeah it's like it almost feels like i mean if we looked into it we might find that it's like him trying to convince the bop that like they're going to build infrastructure before they even get here or something who knows yeah it's i mean we could go deep in the trenches of conspiracy here or maybe he just feels like it's like a bone he's throwing

to the county since uh he they've like since so much air has let out since the prison rod real bad so he's like what's the next fascist thing we could bring here basically yeah well the thing okay so congress is back in session after a short recess they've uh they're back now they. They're back on the hill, according to the Wall Street Journal. And they're facing four main challenges right now in the coming weeks. Do tell.

Let's see if I can remember this. I've been too dialed into Brexit. What's happened domestically? I want to hear that, too. Let's see. The first is the budget. They have to pass a budget by September 30th because that's when the fiscal year ends. Or they have to do, like, one of those stopgap things.

We're probably going to get another shutdown because Trump wants the border wall funded and all. Well, I hope that the shutdown affects SOAR. I hope they take all the SOAR money. Well, I hope that the shutdown affects SOAR. I hope they take all the SOAR money. Do you think the border thing is, like, this is more or less Trump trying to shore up his base? Like, trying to galvanize it? That's a good question.

What is he getting out of it? The border wall? Yeah. Yeah, political. I really did think that they would just let it go oh they love this shit i mean i thought he was just running on build a wall i never actually thought there'd be a wall i'm just naive as the day is long i guess here's what's really bleak what's really bleak is the prison that didn't come to our county really didn't have that much to do with what we did we stalled it a little bit

but it really had more to do with the fact that they wanted that money for the border they're just vacuuming up any unused money yeah it's been allocated to send them there going to the wall well what made me think of that and tied into the question that you were just asking about guns is mcconnell said so there's three bills apparently right now in front of the house judiciary committee um or maybe the senate judiciary committee one of those fucking committees about gun control and mcconnell said he would bring something to the floor only if it was approved by trump first so basically like their strategy is get the big boy to um you know the big baby take all the bullets for it yes exactly well and because he is really

the only republican who could sell gun control because he's the only anything exactly well it's because like the chuds my dude he is the one american there is only one american who could actually get the chuds to put their guns away that's donald jay trump what if this was the natural extension of like the republicans um you know outwoken the democrats or whatever yeah well it could be what if like they say well we're the you know like outwoken Democrats or whatever. Yeah, well, it could be. What if, like, they say, well, we're the, you know, like how they're the party of Lincoln?

Like, well, we're the party that passed sweeping gun reform and they took... They're doing that right now with criminal justice reform. Right, right. That's what I'm saying. Which is fucking crazy.

Or Kim Kardashian. Yeah. What? Is this why he melted down at John Legend and Chrissy teigen the other night i i didn't see his tweet but i saw chrissy teigen's like yeah dumb fuck she called him a bitch ass pussy ass bitch toy yeah that's what i was uh y'all just dropped so many references that i didn't get i just i'm so overwhelmed right now can We just have a moment of silence. You're still on the gun range.

I'm still processing my opinion on gun control. And now we brought in a Kardashian. You're intrigued, though. I see your eyes lighten up. What's happened? What's happening? What's happening? Why is this happening?

Chris Paul Hayes had such a great monologue on his show this week he was like you watched it oh i watched the entire 13 minutes three times there's a 13 minute monologue it was a 13 minute monologue wow god damn it was about brexit it was called um what to do when democracies make mistakes oh i saw that you you sent this to us or you tweeted it or something yeah so into our instant but our institutions well our checks and balance what was your 20 was yeah can i just get many just a one just a crumb of checks please my queen Please. Shit. His thing was basically, the point he was trying to make is that he was using Brexit as a sort of, like, stand-in for, like, the Trump problem. Like, what he was saying was Chris Hayes is so funny because he, like, hasn't really bought into the Russia stuff. funny because he like hasn't really bought into the russia stuff but he's on the other hand still and this might be even more insane than buying into the russia stuff he's still confident that

our norms and institutions and checks and balances are more or less intact yes and that they can be deployed to pull us out of the mire and the muck and the marie clay right so this is the thing he was saying he was saying that brexit uh was a mistake by the british population or whatever by the british populace but it was a big oopsie it was a big oopsie trump big oops it was a big oopsie do but in america luckily we don't have the hard deadline of brexit um to deal with and so all we got to do i think his literal words if i remember correctly was pull the impeachment lever like that's what we have to do like we we have a what he said he said we have a way out here's what i want to say chris paul hayes here's what i want to say to him the people you shill for every week whether tacitly or otherwise are the same people that won't pull the lever that you're

fucking begging them today so what are you what are you fucking doing dude who does he think his audience is um people out here just like no we don't need to impeach him that's who's watching chris hayes chris hayes in his mind thinks that uh west virginia coal miners tune in every night he's got his fingers on the pulse of the working class. I didn't even know who Chris Hayes was. You all told me who Chris was. Now I know. I realize.

I recognize him. But I didn't even know. Well, Chris Hayes is a sort of quintessential liberal in the sense that, like, he's concerned. Really, he is sort of a classic liberal in the sort of 1960s sense. Like, he is really concerned with the liberal um in the sort of 1960s sense like he is really concerned with the contradictions in the populace and he wants to make sure that our beloved constitution and american dream is not uh free inquiry remains intact right he doesn't want the thing to come up the american healthy debate yes yeah he doesn't want the sort of the beloved republic to come

undone by its contradictions and so he wants uh and why would he i mean it's good been good to him right yeah well um why were we on chris hayes where are we on chris paul's his 13 minute rant about brexit that you watched right right right please please. Please. Please. Please, my queen. Can I have a crumb of checks and balances? Just a crumb, please. Can you remember the four?

So gun control and budget. So gun control and the budget. Is climate in there? No. Definitely not, Tanya. Climate. What? What are you talking about?

What? We got to talk about that Jonathan Franzen thing thing a little bit i didn't actually read it um i'm still stuck on dr box saying this is the most in-depth episode we we're not even 10 minutes in and we've already hit dr we've hit 16 different topics we're jumping around today, folks. My mom just called, guys. I have to leave. I have to go.

Oh, when you look at the time. I don't know. You got to do what I do in these situations, Tanya, is I look at Terrence and say, well, I got to see what the Brookings Institute has to say about that. Punctuated with the, who's to say really? This is how he gets by on every conference every conference call um it was uh budget gun control oh whoa there was one something i was gonna say about okay here's my official stance on gun control the first batch of guns we need to handle our military guns we need to cut them in half we need to cut our military in half that's me giving you affirmations now immediately disarm

the police and military first yeah those are the first guns that gotta go okay and then we can maybe just i don't know halt production on all semi-automatics or something like what is the use of these around here we trade at flea markets that you ain't yeah they go fuck with us i can buy any gun i want off the hood of a car on uh route 23 if i were any given day of the week so i'm not worried about coming for my guns yeah that's right i can they will never be able to come for our guns no of, of course. It's impossible. But there's no reason. The gun problem is obviously at the helm

of our commander-in-chief. If I were the leader of this fair republic, I would have an exemption for current and former members of Hezbollah and anybody that ever worked for minimum wage at an Amazon facility.

They get priority gun use. they get priority good they get priority fully automatic no restriction luckily fall into the camp of the former as a current member of hezbollah uh gun control the reason they want to put it on trump is because of the, I mean, it's obvious, like they don't want to piss off their loyal Republican base. Right. Which is very interesting to me. Like it just, I mean, it's just one of the,

this is another one of those things that show you, we don't live in a democracy, right? Like, yeah, God was widely supported. Who's to say, but it will never

happen. Well, this is the thing me and Tom were talking about last week. Liberals really do need to understand that gun control will never ever happen. You lost that issue. Literally. You lost it a long time ago. There is a shooting every day. Statistically, there's a shooting

every day. If. Now. This is crazy. Well, before we went on, you were talking about you were at the Harlan County Minors Blockade, and there was a literal shooting at a nursing home not too far from there. Yeah, no, I literally heard it with my own ears. If that's happening in a town of Cumberland, Kentucky, like, you know, what, 1,500 people? Yeah. Maybe a little smaller than Weinsberg even. Yeah.

Then that's telling. Yeah. Then that's telling. Yeah. In my home county courthouse, a guy they were brought in from jail, bringing to court, he stole a gun off the bailiff and shot himself. They, like, shot himself in the elevator. Oh, damn. That's how incompetent these motherfuckers are. Goddamn, that's some true detective shit.

It is. Yeah, it is. Wow. Did he know something? Did he have information that would lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton? No, he was going to spend the rest of his life in jail. He just wanted out. I didn't mean to make a joke of this.

Sorry, I didn't hear your question. I just answered it. I don't know what you said about Hillary or Epstein. But, okay. Guns. Gun control. Because it all went down in an elevator. Exactly.

That's what I'm saying. Nobody else was around. Oh, stole my gun. I don't know. Yeah. Anyway, if it were me, I would have shot two rounds. Him first, me last. Yeah, good point. Good point. See you in hell, buddy. You first. Yeah, totally.

Why shoot? See you in hell, buddy. You first. Yeah, totally. Why shoot? See you in hell, buddy. Right. I don't know. Maybe he knew him. Y'all know, just a brief aside here. Y'all know Monroe? Oh, yeah. Hitchhiker.

You know what I mean? Carries a cross. Well, I think he's carried a cross before. Both literal and metaphorical. I could have swore he worked at Pick Pack when I was growing up in Pineville. He might have. He's everywhere. He transubstantiates.

Is that what the word is? Transubstantiates. He's a no man. Yeah. Well, he had a brother named Tawana. What a name. And they lived on Perk Creek and they were... Tawana?

This guy, and I hate to keep going back to Outlaw Bikers. It always goes back to Outlaw Bikers with me. The Sons of Anarchy had a very lasting influence on me. But they lived with a guy that used to be the former head of the Outlaws Motorcycle Club, the Outlaws, like the Motorcycle Club, the Outlaws. The. The. The. And they used to say that Tawana would, one time, they had to bring Tawana in because this neighbor of his had, like, threatened, like, pulled a gun on him and threatened to shoot him, all this shit. And, you know, the old adage, if you pull a gun on somebody, you should probably kill them. That guy didn't.

probably kill them that guy didn't tuana cut the guy's horse's head off stripped naked stuck it on his head and went knocked on the guy's door oh damn this is like godfather way i've heard this from a totally different angle before the horse head burning on perk creek i've heard this story you heard this yeah it was like they found tuan he walked that guy didn't do shit he just walked up to him did that walked off his porch just slowly down the hog till they finally had to bring him in and then when they finally took him in i don't know if actually this might have happened a little bit later but twan ended up dying in prison of mysterious circumstances epstein style yeah and it's what's not clear to me is if the guy was the head of the outlaws that he did the horse thing with former head of the outlaws or if they were like kind of communing together

that's a critical detail but anyway you were talking we're talking about guns and uh true detective shit that's like right out of true detect this episode is over we just need to stretch it out and be in slow-mo so it lasts an hour we've covered all the things all right well we've said it we've laid down a good foundation foundation we could just start smearing it around speaking of the edstein stuff, I want to put a call out right now. It never occurred to me that, like, ever since the very beginning of the Epstein stuff, we have in our midst someone who has literally seen Tony Rodham in person. So the theory is that Epstein's body double was Tony Rodham, Hillary's brother. Oh, that's right.

Tom has been in the same car with this man. I'll say this. I'll say this. You think he could be an Epstein? Tony Rodham looks like Jeffrey Epstein. Like, Jeffrey Epstein looks like Tony Rodham. So you think they killed Tony Rodham? Yeah. Like, Hillary's been wanting him. He only died a few weeks ago. Months ago. Oh, Tony died. Yeah.

Yeah. This summer. Oh, and you think they tossed his body in there yeah and there's a photo of them wheeling the look i don't want to get too far down the epstein thing but i just want to point out that the man sitting right next to me has been in the same tony rodham tony rodham looks or jeffrey epstein the epstein tendril snake into east kentucky now jeffrey jeffrey epstein jeffrey epstein looks like like tony rodham after p90x you know tony's a pretty hefty boy um well on this this gun control shit like you say like when it's over we've lost it it feels like every time thesis students can you know just converge in whitesburg every summer because if we only had the right stats strung together

we could change this horrible cycle of poverty and violence and extraction yeah yeah yeah that's what it feels like and every time they tell me i'm just like staring off into space i feel like spongebob i really don't know how to compute it i'm just like we couldn't possibly be prod and picked and analyzed anymore well here's what i say you know how sabermetrics has taken over sports like they now hire these data guys to like analyze like the little things that don't show up in the stat sheet to try to put together the best team. If we did that for the economic transition movement, like we would easily just root out all like the players because their stats are pitiful. Yeah.

You know what I mean? You mean like if they were actually using methodologies and metrics that showed that they didn't create 336 jobs right how did we get from guns to that is it the uh weave that thread together you just teed me up and i ran with it it's because you can't dangle it out in front of it still clamoring to gun control reform yeah it's is like it is like thesis students thinking that the numbers they string together are going to change can really have a lasting impact on the future of the appalachian economy yeah like they're really going to turn this boat around if people just really knew you know we know we don't need any more we don't there's no more proof to be had we've got that prisons aren't saving anyone but how rogers right

you know what i mean like it's just we don't need any more stats on this shit if i could bring this back to jonathan franzen for a minute man um bye what this is like three people trying to drive a car it really is i should have sat on the couch today it's what it happened this off i threw out the center of gravity by sitting over here usually flows upstream now right now the center of gravity is here yeah and we don't know what to do with it here let me recenter us a little bit let me recenter us a little bit okay let's talk about the issues that liberals have lost so we started with the gun thing okay and the reason why i said bring us back to jonathan franzen is he's clearly of the opinion that we've lost the climate thing and

that's yeah even though we didn't really do anything to try to. That's bleak to think about. Uh-huh. He's probably not wrong, but it's hard for me to even swallow that pill just yet. Yeah, I like how he jacked our talking points about the Green New Deal. Did he? What are our talking points about the Green New Deal? I mean our earlier talking points. I've since softened my stance on this a little bit.

Basically, he was saying that the people that support a Green New Deal and think that's going to pull us out are just as delusional as the right wing, which is an incredibly stupid thing to say. Uh-huh. But I understand that position at least a little bit. You understand the despair of, the despairing position? No, I mean. Or the skeptical position of. The Green New Deal's efficacy to curb the, you know, is it just a salve?

Is it just something like that? We're like, no, we've got something in place that's going to curb this. And I think they're looking at it the whole wrong way. You know, who's to come for future climate refugees who's to say we which is all of us we're all future climate refugees at this point hey heard that sparkle fingers we're not we're. We're agreeing with you. No, we're agreeing with you.

Very much agreeing with you. Well, I didn't read the frames and things, so I don't know. But it's not important. I don't want to go over there. I'm just saying, like, guns have been lost. Yeah. Okay. Well, I just want to say this.

If you want to feel, feel like despairing about something in the current moment guns is a much better bet anyways like the climate thing is like yeah i mean like we all like whatever but like guns now that's a now that's a winning ticket for nihilistic despair yeah yeah yeah because i can conceivably see a situation where the capitalists become green all of a sudden and then like oh okay well yeah let's uh like they find out a way to make solar panels really cheap and billions of them and whatever i could see them like i could see us getting carbon uh reduced through capitalism just through the most brutal methods achievable you know what i mean like bloodshed exploited labor all this other stuff but i um i can't see

that ever happening with the gun thing like in a capitalist economy the guns will like we've already passed the thresholds right we've already passed the uh yeah like what more return i mean i follow every town on instagram and every town is like every town trust me i know i get so many text messages they're like the foremost gun control advocate organization okay and i mean they get all kinds of celebrity endorsements and shit and they're pulling i mean they could not be pulling that straws more than they are now they're just it's like i mean of course they have a million stats they could release stats all day long every day it's just like we are zoned out we we know we know it's bleak yeah we have no power well it's like we were saying the other day. Unless we rally our guns.

There's the thing. We could do gun control by bearing arms. Taking up guns. I mean, you're never going to get any kind of gun control or whatever without a... Without any capitalism. Yeah. Yes, exactly. This is like what you were saying the other day on on the way on

the website is right all these big issues that liberals want something done about are not going to happen with their technocratic solutions it's going to take the abolition of this economic system yeah that's the only way you get well look now there's money in retrofitting schools and shit for shooting scenarios right curved hallways yeah now there's money in that that kind of did break that's an industry now so guess what that industry's not going away that's going to be a multi-billion dollar industry more money will be funneled into that and into arms production it's the capitalism you can't out-engineer your social ills. You can't. Because as soon as you make something profitable, you've lost. Exactly.

God damn it. So bleak. That's exactly right. Which is why we're going to be doubly fucked if they figure out how to make profitable green carbon reduction. It's like one of my... They're trying. Oh, they're trying very hard. One of my favorite early Facebook statuses you used to see a lot with the sassy ones would say.

The sassy ones? That's like fucking for virginity. Remember when people would say stuff like that? It was bombing for pieces like fucking for virginity. Yeah, that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I want to say. It's like building curvy hallways is like fucking for virginity.

Virginity's a myth. A little PSA. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So the takeaway there is that liberals, look, you're never going to get your precious gun in control without a complete reordering transformation of society. So.

Yeah. Next topic. You got to unsalute. That's right your uh cousin soldier so good luck the um the other two main challenges facing the uh liberal establishment winning election besides winning elections the sitting ducks besides i guess they're technically active ducks right besides the budget thing and the gun control thing the third was trade deal like they have to renegotiate a trade deal with uh mexico and canada this is what congress does now like you know what i mean like their only function is like as an advisory boys club for the executive literally

or conversely when the executive is someone they don't like to bring government to a halt and this is this is even playing out locally this like it's all these interviews i've started editing these interviews of this like tennessee health care situation yeah two local elected officials wrote legislation that work these two local elected officials one in virginia one in tennessee they both work for help the health care system there and they wrote legislation to create a legal monopoly that's what all this is that's that's that's the root of all of this like of the protest that's still going down there and them cutting the nick you so now they're cutting everything that's not profitable because now they have a legal monopoly and they're running it as a

for-profit right right right um we're gonna see something no i was just gonna connect that back to the thing about i think it maybe it's in tennessee too where they're making it illegal to protest pipelines damn maybe it's texas i can't remember this episode is badass we're just throwing out every single thing we all did the reading but we did the exact reading nobody else did okay the fourth issue is uh the border wall that was it because trump wants funding the wall he wants funding for his border wall in the stop gap now we're re-centered now we're full circle well i mean these are probably dumb questions fine but are there any or i'm sure there are some but like how many elected officials are there really that are really spending all of their time trying to get this wall? Like they want the wall.

They're claiming that what their constituents want is a border wall. They're doing whatever they can in their power to get a fucking border wall. My hunch is Steve King's on board with it. I'd say yeah i mean i do i know we have plenty of elected morons but they're not even they i feel like they don't put in a lot of work right i just feel like this border wall is so much work and like we met we haven't seen these people work in decades you know what i mean like what are they getting they all must be getting steel kickbacks well is this are they building this out of steel what's

happening it's come from big steel now what's the dick cheney of this situation okay i mean who's haliburton dick sucking at the fucking border wall well the way you see it happen actually our representative hal rogers is the best example of what what you get in return for the border wall so i'm sure some back door or back whatever back door back door back door dealing parking in the rear that's right so hal and trump are doing some backdoor dealing um where trump probably told how listen you're not gonna get your prison but if you support me on this border wall i'll let you get 350 jobs for fiber techs making um mesh uh material loaders yeah that's right yeah that's

what it is like they get stuff like that in return. You know what I mean? Oil panes, you see those helicopters? You won't get helicopters, but the little oil pans, you'll get those contracts. So he's just making trades. He's doing deals, baby. Every deal is made for the water wall. I'd say yeah.

That's his thing. It's a big shiny object and theoretically it can be done, whereas his other big thing was throwing Hillary in prison and we didn't get that. What if at the end of all this, when he's not president anymore, whenever that day might come, he builds a Trump Tower on top of the wall? Not outside of the realm of possibility. It's really not.

No, I know. it's really not really not but to the hillary clinton thing i think hillary clinton goes to jail on november 6th 2020 you think so yeah okay well let me i think the night before the election he locks her up let me throw this back in just to just to get... Just to get that last push in the polls. He's waiting on that one. Well, he's actually going to pay her a million dollars to spend two nights in jail. Make it look good. Come out of there covered in dirt like you've had your ass kicked. Well, you know, they manufactured the caravan thing around the last midterm, so they're capable of anything, I guess.

Yeah. The caravan thing? Yeah, remember he said there's a caravan of immigrants coming for the border right before the midterm election in November? I didn't help him

because the Democrats took back the house. Well, y'all, if I may switch gears for a second, what do you make of the John Bolton firing? That's been all over. Yes, I forgot about that.

I'm very topical. It is very topical, Tom. I don't know anything about it. The funny thing is, is apparently he told... First I've heard of it. John Bolton tweeted today that Trump told him last night to come by his office tomorrow and they'd talk about it. But I guess that didn't happen and Trump just fired him.

Trump tweeted it? He tweeted it? Bolton tweeted that didn't happen and Trump just fired him. He tweeted it? Bolton tweeted that. Bolton tweeted today, Trump told me to come by his office today and we were going to talk about it. And then he fired me instead. He didn't say he fired me instead,

but that was the subtext. I wonder if we could get by with my dream of drowning him in a bathtub by his Lorax whiskers. Trump doesn't like him, obviously. Well, yeah, the Trump machine will chew up just about anyone and spit it back out. Oh, no. But it's funny to watch the sort of liberals be like... That's the worst.

They've had the worst reaction to this. Have you seen this, Tanya? No. Who's John Bolton? He was Trump's national security advisor. He was... He engineered the Iraq war. Yeah, he was like Bush's he was Bush's UN ambassador to the UN.

Who? Who? And now it's Nikki Haley. No, she quit. No, no, no. Guess who's about to be ambassador to the UN? Somebody sent me this message today. Charlie Daniels. He got over fiddle in the bass. He got me this message today. Charlie Daniels. He gotta have a fiddle in the bass. He's gonna play in Texas.

Do you know who Joe Kraft is? He's a... As in the Joe Kraft Center? No, Alliance Cole. Yes, as in UK's basketball facility. He's named the Joe Kraft Center. Not him, but his wife, who is currently

ambassador to Canada. What? Yes, she's about is currently ambassador to Canada. What? Yes. She's about to become ambassador to the UN. It all sneaks back into East Kentucky. I was literally protesting. They're from Hazard. Holding signs dragging Joe Craft 12 years ago. I was literally holding signs like, kill Joe Craft at UK when he bankrolled their the fucking coal cottage down there whatever the

wildcat coal the wildcat coal lodge yep what the fuck really yeah yep well anyway she's the ambassador to what right now canada she's about to be the ambassador to the UN. And she's from Hazard? Shout out to at Gage. At at Gage. She sent me that today. Yeah. Yeah, they're both from Hazard. What the fuck? Well, I don't know if she's from Hazard, but joke.

Alliance Cole. Alliance Cole, baby. Yeah. It's about to be the, and she's replacing Nikki Haley. Yeah, I don't know if Nikki Haley's already gone or if there, and she's replacing Nikki Haley. Yeah. I don't know if Nikki Haley's already gone or if there's someone that's like an interim person. It feels like it's been a while ago. If I may bring this back to Jonathan Franzen for a minute.

Who was just fired by Trump. Yeah. Jonathan Franzen is just fired by Trump. It's the poet laureate. You know, if the coal boss of all coal bosses' wife is getting ready to be the ambassador to the UN, that doesn't bode well for the planet. No, man. I can't fathom.

I have to go home and have a drink and really think about this. Well, the thing about the Franzen thing is that... Let me blow your mind tom you can be yeah you promised to blow my mind earlier today and oh well that's something you were gonna later we might may actually save that one for the patreon episode i like where this one's going this one ain't for the broke bitches the i think you can be simultaneously... I don't want to say fully nihilistic.

You probably shouldn't be nihilistic about the world. But I do want to say, as somebody who spends a lot of time outside, outdoors, in the ecosystem, we're already past the point of no return in many respects. There's already a lot that we can't reverse. We've already killed off, like, what, 70% of the world's species or something? You know what I mean? Bees are going to be extinct in, like, five years. And maybe he makes his point in the essay.

I have no idea. New tropical diseases. Have you seen this encephalitis that's popping up in Kentucky? What? It's a new tick-borne illness or mosquito-borne illness oh no great well the point the larger point is that um the crisis the ecological crisis is already here and in many respects we blew past all the uh all of our chances to halt it about 20 years ago probably and so and now a coal baron is about to to be Ewan's ambassador. Ambassador to the Ewan while the Amazon burns.

Right. So the point is, is that you just have to be realistic. And maybe if that's not being nihilistic, being realistic means you have to know what you can and can't achieve. And, you know... Yeah, nihilism is, well... What? Webster defines it as... Anyway, I'm sorry. you know yeah nihilism is well what webster's defines this

anyway i'm sorry i mean i don't know i just think that it's not good for the left to to it's not good for the left to be nihilistic but it's also not good for us to be sort of so um optimistic that we are blinded to the reality around us. I like the idea of being optimistic. I don't like the idea of being optimistic when self-delusion is the source of your hope. Yes. That's what you're hitching your wagon to. Right.

You know what I mean? Right. But I didn't read the essay, and so it's hard for me to know what. I'm not going to read it because Jonathan Franzen bores people. It's a snoozer. I'll tell you that. It's a snoozer i'll tell you that's a snoozer this bores me i only read your shit with that big a word count thanks that's because i have to face you afterwards thank you i have to answer to you answer to you you signed my paycheck okay there was two things there was all right i'll give you both a chance to decide where you

want to take this um it's like a choose your own adventure goosebumps yeah the thing i wanted to talk about earlier today when i may have changed my mind was the cursed essay in the New York Times about, well, it wasn't an essay, it was coverage of the Appalachian food movement. Baby, baby, baby. That seems a little off-topic. Do they reference bean soup? Absolutely. Let's do that for the Patreon,

because that's something I want to dine out on. It's Tom's fast food. So then, that leaves us with this. Also in the New York Times, it's an op-ed conversation between our good old pal Brett Stevens, the bed bug, and Gail Collins. Okay. And I wanted to do it because it would be a fun dramatic reading.

But there's only two people doing it. So maybe you can be brett stevens and you can be gail collins or you guys can do it and i can be the hot man all right that's fine if you want whatever you want tanya okay shoot me the link shoot me the link it's in it's in the it's in the dm earlier i sent it to both of you okay all right i've been doing shit today roll up it's under the headline el I sent it to both of you. Okay, all right. I've been doing shit today. Just scroll up. It's under the headline, Elizabeth Warren continues to persist. This is so good.

I think this will be great. Oh, Eeyore. This will be a great exercise. It's like Eeyore. Fuck, that's amazing. But does she have Trump's number? Okay. And what's going on with him anyway?

Who? Who are you talking about? Oh, you're talking about the Soviet. It's good already. Does she have Trump's number and what is going on with him anyway? Brett Stevens. A conversation between Brett Stevens, as played by Tony Award winner Tom Sexton,

and Gail Collins, by Oscar award-winning I love this pic of a war it's exactly like the picture that went viral of stupid Nancy Pelosi oh the clapping yeah yeah that's what this is Tonya I've never heard her called E-War before. That's good. Did you come up with that? Is that what the politics people say? I don't know. Are the vast majority of your friends Elizabeth Warren supporters, Bernie supporters?

I haven't spoken about the election with anyone I know. I assume no. Well, I was soaking in a pool with some lesbians this weekend. And I don't know what came over me. I had too many white claws and weed brownies. But I was like, hey, who'd you vote for for governor? She was like, that's a little personal. She's like, you're coming for me.

And I was like, no, I don't care. I don't give a fuck. That's like what my parents say when I ask them who they voted for. Or how much money they might.'t care i don't give a damn that's like what my parents say when i ask them what who they voted or how much money they might like i don't give a fuck yeah but anyway she had voted for rocky which i thought was funny all right that is funny all right let's let's begin tom i'll be okay i'll be the director all right all my friends are writing me in for president 2020 all right um we are in a dark room. There is loud torture music or torture sounds going on behind us. So put your head in that mindset. Like as the director, I can get the lights on you. Yeah, give me some. Yeah.

There you go. Yeah. Oh, damn. Got some light on you now. Tanya, do you want some light? I want that fan on. It's what what i want it's hot as a mother no i'm fine i'm good please don't put the light on me actually uh hi gail um hi gail uh okay i see i'm brett stevens you're brett stevens go get in the mindset of brett stevens tom you're a You are someone who just melted down about being called a parasite, a parasitical insect. Okay, well, give me a little background on Gail. Pep this up for me.

All right, hold on. Let me, before I go any further, let me just say that to fully embody the character of Brett Stevens, Tom, the character of brett stevens tom you have to in your mind you have to um you have to think in never in a million years could this country ever like somebody like bernie sanders like it would never happen he's not even on it like the fact that anybody's even in can save yes it is a fraction of a fraction of the populace that likes him he's not a popular politician he is not to be mentioned so your politics like explicitly specifically exist maybe in the time frame of 2000 to 2008 we'll put that 2012 maybe okay you know what i'm saying like so it's not even conceivable that there is a resurgent left. You know what I mean?

Like, you are standing athwart history yelling stop. Okay. That's you. Okay. Tanya, Gail Collins. Gail Collins, New York Times. Is she with New York Times? She is. She is an op-ed columnist for the New York Times.

I don't really know much about her. She has a liberal perspective. She attended Seton High School in Cincinnati. She's from fucking Cincinnati. From fucking Cincinnati. From fucking Cincinnati. I guarantee she's from Grayson County. My parents are fucking Union.

I'm from fucking Cincinnati. Following graduation from the University of Massachusetts Amherst, she wrote for the Hartford Advocate. As a freelance writer in the 70s, she did Connecticut Public Television, worked for UPI. She seems pretty like middle of the road, Tanya. So like, let's just say that, okay, okay she's a as you'll find out she's kind of an elizabeth warren supporter so put yourself in the mindset of a boomer uh because she was born in oh she's definitely a boomer she was born in 45 so put yourself in the mindset of a boomer liberal who's a little distressed by the rise of bernie and by the left but who from ohio but

who acknowledges you're getting a phone call yeah it's a spam risk so i was trying to make it i thought it said sam harris that is a smart phone damn risk debt callers they're calling you so put yourself in the mindset of someone who um knows that the millennials are on the rise and that they are very much leftist and um you want to swat that back down you want to swat it back down a little bit but you acknowledge that they are a sizable demographic right whereas i just don't even see it whereas yes i completely dismiss it completely just can't even see it like uh you know it will never happen like i said he's standing athwart history yelling stop so e-war supporter over here iraq war supporter over here gail collins probably supported the iraq war too who fucking knows um so anyways that that's that

is your setting all right uh like i said we are in a poorly lit dungeon underneath some concrete structure. There's torture sounds behind us and chainsaws. I can't work under these conditions. All right. Scene and action. Hi, Gail. You happen to read our friend Frank Bruni's column this past weekend? It's one of the most thought-provoking. Why? It's one of the most thought-provoking.

Why? It's one of the most thought-provoking articles I've read in a while about the likely shape of the 2020 race. And it contains this fascinating. Nobody talks like this. It's hard to even, like, put this in a. You can't. I'm trying to get in the mood over here reading hers, and I'm like, Lord Jesus. Cut, cut, cut.

All right, look. From the top. From the top. Tom, don't even worry about it that's exactly the point no one talks like this this is the this is like the audio version of like how trump stands doing that weird yes like thing no one talks like this no one thinks like this one person in america thinks like this it's brett stevens and he thinks that his vote and his vote alone should be catered to okay there you go. Action.

Hi, Gail. You read our friend Frank Bruni's column this past weekend? It's one of the most thought-provoking articles I've read in a while about the likely shape of the 2020 race, and it contains this fascinating nugget. Nineteen Republicans in Congress have already announced that they won't seek another term in their current office, and most of them are just retiring from politics altogether instead of seeking a higher office. Frank calls them bellwethers and suggests that Republicans are limping toward a disastrous election day.

Do you draw the same conclusion? Definitely agree. It was a fascinating column. It certainly cheered me up. But I want to hear a little more about your take i know you'd do anything to see trump defeated let me just jump in real quick here brett is a never trump republican that's what she's referring to anyways gotcha well almost anything we'll have to return to your refusal to consider voting for elizabeth warren this is what i'm talking about like His left is like his

the outer bounds of what he considers to be acceptable is Elizabeth Warren. So like he doesn't even recognize Bernie. Bernie's not even charting. So anyways, continue. But are you rooting for a Democratic Congress in 2022? You live in Jerry Nadler's district, right?

Will you be voting for him to keep running the House Judiciary Committee? Ideally, I want a Democrat in the white house and republican control of the senate like any sensible human or the senate and house together and the next democratic president leans too far left who the fuck like no one wants a democrat in the white House and the Republican Senate. Who the fuck has those politics? That is... Brett's a true centrist. We throw that around too much. That's the true centrist. He must be.

Well, it's the... What do they say? I'm a socially... Socially liberal. Fiscally conservative. Yes. Anyways. Tom, sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt from the top yeah ideally i want a democrat in the white house and republican control of the senate or the senate and house together if the next democratic president

divided government is one of the blessings of the american system let nadler try to impeach in the house and wiser heads in the senate save us from president pence remember the olden days when senators were just into making deals i used to complain about their lack of passion boy do i miss lack of passion as they stand now if we have a democratic president and house a republican majority in the Senate would just devote itself to perpetual obstruction. Plus, remember, the way the Senate works now, even

Minority Leader Mitch McConnell would still have plenty of power to hold up everything for ransom. I think Frank's column definitely points to further Republican loss in Congress. But I'm not at all sure whether that will translate to a Democratic victory for the presidency. See, I've lost all hope that Pete Buttigieg can win the nomination.

And I'm pretty sure that Kamala Harris and Bernie Sanders can't. So that leaves the Democratic race coming down to a race between Warren and Joe Biden. That is between a blade most Americans may find too sharp and one they fear is too dull. may find too sharp and one they fear is too dull. Well, you may notice that Biden, Warren, and Sanders are the three candidates the voters are most familiar with. It's so hard to come out of the relative obscurity and get the kind of attention and confidence you'd need to win a presidential nomination. Barack Obama did it, but he was an extraordinary campaigner.

And of course, there was the excitement of having the first black president. Donald Trump did it, but he was a reality TV star. I don't know if even in the age of round-the-clock social media, anybody from the real world could pull off that kind of leap to fame. You know, it's a shame because I think the Democratic field has some first-rate talents who could beat Trump. But that party has just discounted, at least so far, people like Michael Bennett, Steve Bullock, and Amy Klobuchar. What is it about them that just doesn't excite the base? Think back on the Obama comparison.

There's people who really mix this. People used to faint at his rallies. They were so excited. The names you mentioned are all fine people with good ideas, but I wouldn't call any of them electric. True, though you have to love Michael Bennett's latest campaign pledge. If you elect me president, I promise you won't have to think about me for two weeks at a time. Lord, give me a president like that. Speaking of electric, let's move on to shocking.

Which do you think will hurt Trump more? The fact that he played golf while Americans were being threatened by a terrible hurricane? Or the fact that he doctored the weather map to make it look as if he was actually right about the storm going to Alabama? You remember when he used to slam President Obama for playing too much golf? Both of those worry me more than his much larger recent bad decisions because they go beyond bad judgment to a kind of ego maniacal delusion. Where's the most obscure dictatorship in the world? I'll bet even there the head man wouldn't go on national tv

to show a country to show the country a map that looked like it had been doctored by an overreaching third grade geography student got him gail is it too much is it too much to wish for a president who's at least capable of competent forgery. You know, if you squint hard, the Trump presidency could be a darkly comic TV show. You know, like some of my favorites, including House of Cards. But with Steve Marwan. Oh, my God. But with Steve Martin or Rowan Atkinson, the role of President Underwood. Alternatively, perhaps the more accurate comparison might be to the sequel

to the Stephen King horror flick, It Chapter Two. I just want to say, like, Brett is so like, impoverished intellectually. Like, the media he consumes. Like, this man is paid six figures, and he's like, I mean, this could be like House of Cards.

Yeah. That's the best. A show about politics. Yeah, yeah. Anyways, that's Mr. Bean as the president. Mr. Bean as Mr. President. Amazing. Yeah, I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Terms of our approach to the rest of the world.

Protesters in Hong Kong are waving American flags, singing Star Spangled Banner, and imploring Trump to stand up on their behalf, but the administration has been basically mute. We were about to pull the plug on Afghanistan until some last-minute disagreements snagged our withdrawal and surrender deal, but Trump appears to be perfectly indifferent to what the return of the Taliban would mean to the Afghan people, and particularly Afghan women. And then there's the news that the administration's mulling a plan to slash the number of refugees we take in each year. Listen, I'm the son of a refugee. My patriotism is deeply tied to my gratitude for a country that took in my impoverished mother and grandmother,

made it when they had no other country and no other place to go the thought that the administration wants to deny the chance they gave my mother and thousands of similarly stateless people today it makes me physically ill brett that was so beautifully said that i'm gonna give you a break, and I'm not even going to ask you if this means you'll vote for Elizabeth Warren. At this point, she's almost tempting to me on the theory that an empty wallet beats an upset stomach. Brett, let's end this cheerfully as we began. Hey, it's football season, and although I had no interest whatsoever in football until Trump was elected president, I'm now finding it a relief to talk about something other than politics.

So, goddammit, how about those patriots? You know, I sometimes have a feeling that if we conversed more about football than about politics, we might also disagree more. The patriots are loathsome. 95% of America hates them with excellent reason and bernie sanders probably roots for them which means they must be communists also tom brady's an overrated quarterback the most he's good for is a volleyball extra in the next top gun movie now the seahawks have it in scene in scene do excellent job on the excellent job on the set

here's my question here's my question who in the fuck would click on that to read that and they say it's about elizabeth warren i mean look this is you i love i love when i'm talking football with the boys and then i just bring up how 95% of Americans find the Patriots loathsome. And that Bernie probably supports them. Because they're communists. Making them communists. I'd say there's a lot of things Tom Brady is, but communists is not one of them. God damn.

Fuck, man. No, these people are, I mean, it really does give you a glimpse into, like, what they talk about in their parlors and salons, right? Like, this is what the centrist in the New World lives. There's nothing even remotely interesting about Gail Collins and Brett Stevens having a back and forth. Nothing. How does that get printed? Dude, nothing. I mean, honestly, I've seen printed Trillbillies transcripts that are more interesting than this.

And that's saying a lot because we. They make more. I guarantee you they make more in a month than we have the entire year. I guarantee it. Absolutely guarantee it. There is no justice. Well, Jesus Christ, man. Brett, what are you thinking about, man?

You both did an amazing job. Let me just say as director, I'm proud of you both. You really stumbled there. I thought we pulled it through. I think we did a good job. You fully embodied the characters. I was convinced. I thought I was really sitting in the same room with brett and

gail did you yeah i did i closed my eyes i was like wow wow that's brett's that's uh it's calm this brett stevens over there yeah this is i can't do a cincinnati accent unfortunately so she got a good new york it's just a new york accent in the true billy's university is a new york accent i think back on the Obama comparison People used to faint at his rallies They were so excited I said look this fucking guy Is going to be the president

He's electric That was said so beautifully Brad You're kidding That was good Well anyways Like I's there is something interesting in that though um the very beginning of it and this brings us back full circle to the absolute gun control yes we yes that we spelled out at the beginning of this um what did what was the number he said 17 republicans aren't coming back for re-election.

Yeah, 19 Republicans in Congress have already announced that they won't sink another term in their current office. I didn't realize that. Yeah. That's good news. And there was like a special election runoff in North Carolina today. Did y'all see this? Oh, fuck. I was hoping y'all did so that I wouldn't have to go to the table.

I was listening on the radio i forgot where it was it was like some fucking county or congressional district or something like that and their take like the the mainstream media takeaway is that um because of this it's kind of looking like trump might have a harder time than they were thinking. So Trump could actually lose and then 19 Republicans could be out of office. But who the fuck knows? You know, I don't really know how that shakes out. What's the normal? I wonder how 19 fares with other years, like how often incumbents actually retire by choice.

How often does that happen? I feel like they usually just stick it out until they're dead. Okay, here's what you need to know about North Carolina's special election. Voters in the Republican-leaning 9th Congressional District will choose between Dan McCready, the Democratic candidate, and Dan Bishop. Two Dans, the GOP candidate. candidate and dan bishop two dans the gop candidate um that's not gonna get it that's not gonna mix anybody up at now which dan was i there for uh um mr mccready is an ultra liberal who really admires socialism but this is according to trump uh so he's a marine veteran of course of course he's a marine veteran dude every pull every politician in 10 years will have fought in a war or they'll have served in the military and

we wonder why we've lost gun control these men are these people are thirsty they really are they are thirsty for ammunition unless you you like Pete Buttigieg. They're masturbating with fucking shells. Didn't Pete Buttigieg say that, he's like, those guns belong on the battlefield, not back home. Yeah, that's right. Meanwhile, he's not done such a good job in his own hometown. Yeah.

Yeah. Well. Jeez Louise. Here's a little theoretical exercise for you what if bear with me here um what if the democrats do take back both houses and elizabeth warren wins presidency what do you think would happen we'd have a uh we'd have a democrat packed house i mean i don't think they'd take back the Okay, there's no way they would take back the Senate, right? That's not even a possibility, is it, Tom?

I don't know. Would we get loan forgiveness? We would get loan forgiveness only if we stood on one leg. If we've created a business to make money off poor people for six years. And we'd have to be the seventh son of a seventh son. A witch. So you'd have to be a witch. Right.

And you'd have to go out on like September 13th every year and do this at exactly the right time as the moon. But basically, yes, we would get our, yeah, we'd get long forgiveness. I guess the question I'm asking is like, I could conceivably say someone saying, yeah, it's easier for you to say, oh, we'll never get gun control. But what if we do take back both houses and Elizabeth Warren or even Bernie wins the White House? Like, do you think – I guess Bernie is a whole different situation. If Bernie wins the White House, we'll probably be getting some actual stuff if Democrats have both the Senate and the House. But if, like,

Elizabeth Warren wins... You don't think she'll... You don't think she'll do some good stuff? You don't think she'll throw a few good bones? I guess it depends on how much the...

Like, the corporate interests in this country, like, buck up to her. We absolutely would get Medicare for all. You think so? I don't think so. You don't think so?

I think that's dead if Elizabeth Warren's the president. Yeah, you're probably right. She's too beholden to those fucking Massachusetts insurance companies. I mean, it's just not... Yeah. I mean, if she ain't run on it, she sure as fuck ain't gonna do it once she gets there. I mean, it took her a while. I mean, I guess the last debate she came out in support of it, but I don't buy it.

Oh, finally. She's on TV standing right next to Bernie. What's she gonna say? No, die, sick bitches. Die. You've already gotta be skeptical of people who do run on things if they're not even running i know you might as well shit one hand and open the other honey yeah okay um but what if we get okay what about this

what about this scenario what if we get biden president and then all all democrat house and I'm opening an abortion clinic I'm going back to the back to the old the original the original trump plan I'm opening an abortion clinic for my nerds that play fantasy sports you can do like you know like the draft calculator where you press the button and it gives you like all the different scenarios we should do this for the patreon episode yeah like we pop the button and then it just like randomly spits out who will be the president who takes the house and senate and what the scenarios are you know it's interesting because if that happens if biden wins and we do have a house in a senate democrat majority it will be literally a replay of 2008 with the exception of now the entire judiciary is

packed full of fucking conservatives and reactionaries. So we're not getting anything. Even under a Bernie situation, I think we would. I don't know. It depends on whether you can sort of leverage

mass movements and stuff as a sort of bulwark against the corporate interest. I think my biggest election conspiracy right now is that Biden is on his deathbed and we're being weakened at Bernie's. Are we all dead? Maybe we're all dead. Maybe we're all dead. I think he maybe is dead. It's Cotard's delusion, but for the masses. Yeah, we're all dead. We're all dead. Maybe we're all dead. I think he maybe is dead. It's Cotard's delusion, but for the masses. Yeah, we're all dead.

We're all dead, and Joe Biden's the only one that's actually alive. Joe Biden and Elizabeth Warren. They're only two. They're propping us all up, and we're in the middle. Because they are probably getting children's blood pumped into their veins. Joe Biden could stand it, man. He looks like shit and his mind's turning. That's what I'm saying.

His eye's bleeding. He's talking wild as fuck. He's out of his fucking mind. Yeah. When did that happen? The climate debate? Yeah. So there's another debate this week.

Oh, yeah. Well, why don't y'all come up the house? We'll figure out a way to stream it and practice for the live show okay sounds good you in town thursday yeah i've been down thursday all right all right well um bring your hook set up we'll we'll do our we'll record our live patreon while we're watching the debate that'd be fun yeah yes by fun i mean torturous yes i'll make a pot pie oh yeah i saw that on your instagram the other day i was like fucking a oh it was incredible and he's making a pot pie well i froze two more speaking of pot pie ready to go where's my edible oh fuck i forgot that too i've

been in town all day though i'm afraid i would have melted in the car. But you got an edible at the house waiting on you. Okay. Well, and the same goes for all of you out there. Where's my edible? In this case, the house is Patreon, and the edible is one episode every week. So go to the Patreon, P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash Trailbilly Workers Party and get you some edibles and other words, good episodes. We did drop a lot of teasers today on this episode about what's going to be on the Patreon. So you're going to know a little bit of the nuggets you're going to get.

Yeah. Tom's going to go off about Appalachian food resurrection. Tom's going to go off. Oh, yeah. I'm going off. He's going to go off. He's going off on James Beard. Yeah.

Tom's going to go off. On James's beard. On James's beard. Tom's going to come all in James's beard. Horse come. All right. Go to the Patreon, please. I'm'm gonna plug it one more time please please give us a crumb of five dollars please all right we'll see you there bye