Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 128: The Bleach Boys

Episode Date: January 9, 2020

Another episode, another Beach Boys reference. On this year's opening episode we cover...JD Vance?? as well as America's military empire. Then we finish with an op-ed written by some capitalist pig trying to rehabilitate his image through philanthropy. Happy new year! Episode art by Matthew Carter Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

give me the bleach boys and bleach my hole it's the song is about bleaching your asshole that's a it's a phenomenon i'd never heard about till life of public what about instead of the beach boys, it's the Bleach Boys and all their songs are about bleaching your asshole? Like, I guess my hole wasn't made for these guys. I want a bleached hole. Pretty good, huh? I'm so tired, I just want a bleached hole. That's Sloop John B, bud.

Yeah. Okay. You have to make a few concessions and make it work. Okay. I guess my hole wasn't made for these guys. I want a bleached hole. What are the other big ones? Wouldn't it be nice if we just bleached off all of our big furry assholes? They're getting too hairy for the times.

We need to catch up with the rest of these guys. Good stuff. All the good shit. Good stuff. All the good shit. Good content. Welcome to the Drillbillies in 2020. I'm kicking off right, baby. We're gonna do,

we're the, okay, you know about the mythical or semi-mythical Wrecking Crew who, the session musicians led by Glenn Campbell who basically created pet sounds right

right uh which is crazy if you ever read about because they like use like empty coke cans for percussion and everything and that's very very punk rock even though it doesn't sound that way yeah so we're kind of like the wrecking crew For bleached asshole songs Perverted songs Yes that's right The Glen Campbell of dick songs Before we go any further If you are the 30% of the audience Who won't listen to a single minute of this podcast

If Tanya's not on it Go ahead and wait for the next one Sincerely apologize She will be on the Patreon podcast if Tanya's not on it. Go ahead and wait for the next one. Sincerely apologize. She will be on the Patreon this weekend, however. That's a dope-ass blanket you got there. Thanks. Thanks, bro.

What was I going to say? Oh, the Patreon. Yeah. The best content is over at the bit i like how i had this idea like uh you know we're gonna take a break but we're gonna keep doing the patreon i was like this is a genius business idea yeah we're gonna get all kinds of new patrons. We lost 26 patrons. We lost upwards of three dozen patrons. I'm like, this is what it looks like when socialists try to do business.

When you try to make commerce and not art, this is what happens. This is what happens. Our bad. Yeah, but Tanya will be over there at Patreon, so head on over there Before you turn this one off Which I know you will

Yeah no New Year First episode of the New Year huh Yeah no usually we kick it off with a very special guest Yeah We've had Max Elbaum We've had Nick Offerman I was talking about J.D. Vance And I guess that's... I was talking about J.D. Vance. J.D. Vance.

And I guess that's it. Yeah. Right, right. This is round four. Well, you know, here we are three years later. Damn, three years later, huh? Or wait, two years. It's only been two.

Three, not three. Well, 2017. So... Oh, fuck, you're right. It's 2020. Fuck. We've been doing this piece of shit for this long. Just growing at the slowest fucking pace.

It's all right, man. Well, it took three years for us to get here, and it took three years for J. for JD Vance to get his venture capital Firm off the ground So hey Similar revenues Right Similar you know scale of influence

Right right Three years There was something I was going to say about the JD Vance thing Like I Like I mean I try going to say about the J.D. Vance thing. Like, I mean, I try not to talk about J.D. I've been withholding my J.D. Vance take for a few years. But you know what?

It's a new year, so fuck it. Let's get all our cards out on the table. Let's do it. I don't think J.D. Vance really matters. He's irrelevant. He's, well, you see his latest grift going around today. Well, okay. So, yeah, his latest grift Going around today Well okay So yeah

His latest grift Is the VC thing But the funny thing about it Was like We're gonna be investing In hard hit places Like Atlanta Salt Lake City

Salt Lake City I'm sure I'm not saying these Well Atlanta's for sure Not without its problems I'm not saying Salt Lake City Or

What was the other one Cincinnati I think so Maybe they're based out of Cincinnati. Oh, it's Raleigh. Raleigh. Yeah, it's one of the cities in the triangle. I think it's Raleigh.

Okay, okay. Yeah, that ain't exactly Jackson, Harlan, and Hazard. Well, my line on J.D. Vance, it's not that he doesn't matter. It's just that he'll Billy Alec doesn't really matter. I've tried to make this argument many times at parties, and people have looked at me very skeptically like, bro, what the fuck are you talking about? Well, you know, we still like to.

I've gone horseshoe theory on Hillbilly Alec. The actual thing is good now? Well, people bring it up to me when i'm out and when i'm out of the capital r region and people are like i'll write about where you live then i'll write about hillbilly algae i'll be like that's right that's a good book now i say that you just totally sell it down the river. Yeah. People are like, aren't you the guy who did the, who got. Yeah, yeah, yeah. New year, new man. Didn't you make your name on JD Vance being a piece of shit?

And you know what? I did. I did. And. We probably owe him a royalty. As a result, I now have the right to do a full 180 and say all of you who listened to us and bought into what we said and agreed with us, you're all idiots. You bunch of dupes. This is our heel turn, baby.

This is NWO shirts coming out here. Gosh damn it. This isn't even a good bit the actual serious thing about jd vans here is that i think hillbilly elegy is i mean if okay what's the traditional argument for hillbilly why it's bad culture poverty thesis couched as memoir to insulate it from criticism good job but like how does it like how does it go from that to what some people take it as which is it's perpetuating stereotypes therefore it's bad it's on the scale of what you know the killing fields in Pol Pot's regime.

Yeah, I can get there with it. I mean, like, I don't, okay, if people were using it in the halls of Congress as, like, a blueprint for fucking over the region, if they were like, all right, we've got this book and we've got to fucking murder those hillbillies, then yeah, it would be like Mein Kampf. But it's just a dumbass book written by a dumbass,

and Trump doesn't even care about Appalachia. No one cares about Appalachia. Sad reality. The only bad thing about it is that J.D. Vance became like a millionaire Off of it but he was already like a millionaire Wasn't he? Wasn't he working in like He was working for Peter Thiel

Peter Thiel yeah and And also he was probably gonna make a man off his Netflix movie Oh yeah Absolutely That's just pretty Well it all comes back to the thing is Are Hillbillies Oppressed because That's just pretty. Absolutely. Well, it all comes back to the thing is, are hillbillies oppressed because they're hillbillies,

or are they oppressed because of capital and capitalism? And I think that the people who really hate Hillbilly Elegy and J.D. Vance say that the region is so fucked up because of the stereotypes. They're out there. They're being perpetuated. People love to say perpetuating stereotypes. And for me, it has more to do with the shit that's in the ground and the trees. The natural resources rather than this place.

I mean, this place isn't being oppressed because of the people that live here. It's being oppressed because of the resources that we are, you know. Right. The closest people by that can pick and dig them. Right. And then so, like, once you get into that corner, then people say. Which is interesting, too, because Hillbilly Elegy doesn't mention coal mining at all. No, you're right.

Not once. Which is an interesting omission. If you're talking about a place that's so defined by one resource in particular. It mentions coal miners, but you're right. It doesn't mention coal mining as a practice or history or anything. It's just like, yeah, these people in my family were coal miners. Right. That's it.

Well, the thing is, when you press people on that, they say, well, it allows wealthy capitalists to further exploit the region because then they've dehumanized the people that live here and it's like look they're already doing that been doing that well before he'll be the lg they do that anyways wherever they go yeah that's just the nature of capitalism yeah i don't know i don't know what you're going for though you're going like if we ignore him he'll go away sort of i mean i think that that's also kind of an equally annoying thing maybe i'm just trying to be such a contrarian here that i have no real position that's just a thing somebody wrote well i think i think well

i think the bigger is just i mean it's to belabor the point the bigger thing here is just the liberals that run with that that is the thing here they're the liberals that run with that. That is the thing here. They're the most insidious thing. It's actually the liberal response to it. If liberals were grounded in enough sort of critique, in particular critique of historical materialism, then it wouldn't be nearly as dangerous or whatever we call it.

Then they wouldn't be liberals. Yeah. Yeah, they'd be Marxists. But yeah, you're right. It slipped past all of the liberal filters because, you know, again, J.D. Vance was telling them why they lost the election in 2016. That's really what it comes down to. They just desperately wanted to understand.

I still think it's interesting though that Jackson, Kentucky sits at the center of culture. Talk about Sturgill Simpson's success. Where you got a speeding ticket today. Where I got a speeding ticket today in Brathwaite County. I got a speeding ticket today, in Brathwaite County. Yeah, I got to go to court in Brathwaite County, February 6th.

I'm not saying that if you ignore him, he'll go away, but I am saying that all of the energy we expend on trying to de-platform this guy is like... I mean, look, man. Go fucking... He's got his platform. Do what I'm doing. Go register to send text messages for

bernie and then don't actually do it but get in the database but get in the database go vote yeah oh yeah yeah i do have one question though what that What? I've been meaning to ask you this for, I guess, three years now. What's that? Why do you pronounce it elegy? Is it elegy? I think so. I think it's one of those things where it doesn't matter. See, I just thought that was a little contrarian flourish of yours.

Because I remember we were on the Katie Halper show, and I remember Katie said to me, why does he call it elegy? For three years have i've just been out here acting like a dumbass and no one's corrected me or well i think everybody's thought he's smart he's probably he's probably right and we're all probably wrong see i just never assume that about me i just know the form elegiac and i guess i just make it the G instead of the G sound. Uh-huh. Instead of elegaic. Well, no, elegaic sounds great.

Why don't we say that? Yeah, you're right. Elegaic sounds way better than elegaic. That sounds really clunky. I think I'm onto something here. Yeah, I guess you're right. I guess you're right and everybody else is wrong. Give me the bleach boys Bleach my hole

What's going on in the world today Besides having a bitchin' blanket over there Alright Okay I have a few things to announce Before we get going So Tanya will be on the Patreon I have to announce that If you ordered a t-shirt from us, it is coming.

Just give us a goddamn minute. You picked the one podcast where the two most mentally ill people are running. I've also had a number of run-ins with the law. A few mental breakdowns. Jail. I mean, you're not dealing with very stable guys here. No, yeah, yeah.

You picked the one podcast where the one person who's normal, Tanya, the one person who doesn't have a lick of mental illness at all is not involved in the administration. Yeah. She's the talent.

She's only the talent. But the two guys who have the most mental illness. Are at the wheel. Are at the wheel. So we apologize. Your shirt is on the way. We got a lot of them out last week. We didn't forget about you.

Look, we're not grifters. I mean, we are, but we're not. Not that egregiously. We're smart enough to know that I mean, we are, but we're not. Not that egregiously. We wouldn't. We're smart enough to know that we would never get away with that. We know you would blur our shit on blast on the internet. Some of you have. We're smart enough to know it, and we're working on it.

Yeah. So your t-shirt's on the way. Another announcement I wanted to make, which I'm still not even sure if if i even i've been meaning to make this one for about a month but i'm still not even sure if i have fully committed to it even i might have walked back on it but i'm trying to move to lexington i think so if you live in lexington and you're a landlord which why you'd be listening to this show i don't know but if you are all right let's do like one of these woke landlords please i have two cats and i cannot find a cheap place so anyways hit me up in the dm all right let's get on to the news for the week it is the first or i guess it's the

second week of january um but uh if you are a subscriber to the Patreon, you would have heard our last Patreon episode, which was about Qasem Soleimani and about the whole debacle of Trump microwaving probably the third most important guy in the Middle East. Well, there's a few things that have happened since then. In my opinion,

the craziest thing that has happened since then, and we are recording this on January 9th, Thursday, the craziest thing that has happened since we recorded that episode is that it's pretty much completely out of the news. Astonishing. Time in history is so flat, we have already moved on, baby. We're past the Iran war. That's funny.

Three days ago, World War III is imminent. Today, I guess Iran won. Yep. As our good buddy Katie Slittinger said in the DM, Iran won a war in two days. Amazing. But if you're confused about how that happened, I'll just catch you up briefly. So we recorded that on Sunday. When we recorded that, the Iraqi parliament had just passed a resolution saying American troops had to withdraw from Iraq.

And then what ensued was perhaps the funniest 24 hours in Pentagon history, without a doubt. Without a doubt without a doubt and we're talking about the time that they were hit during 9-11 that nobody talks about funnier than that absolutely because what happened was that somebody i don't know who somebody sent a letter to the iraqi parliament and said all right we're withdrawing our troops but they didn't say it like so blatantly I can't remember what the phrase was that they used but like we're moving on it was one of those breakup letters it was like it doesn't have to be like this

we're just two different people now you know when you fuck up and you know you're about to get dumped and so you're just trying to save face at that point and trying to help them out that's what it was it was America basically saying, we'll move on.

And then they turned around and said, wait, wait, wait, wait. Actually, we didn't send a letter. What are you talking about? The letter's non-binding. It was a draft. It was never meant to get there. And then the Iraqi parliament said,

we're treating this as an official letter there's no takes backsies no no take backsies in which after which the pentagon dug its heels in even more and then there was like mass chaos as the pentagon was trying to figure out what the fuck was there a line on this in the meantime iraq iran launched several surface to surface missiles at al-assad air uh military base in iraq which is doesn't just have u.s troops it has troops from the coalition fighting isis which is like 100 german troops and 12 canadian troops six guys from australia and that's it right um you know and while this was going on nobody died by the way yeah nobody died uh from from what we know anyways uh you know somebody pointed out like

in the vietnam war when america lose casualties, they would never admit it. Like, so, and I've always wondered about that. Like if you were a family member of the person who quote, didn't die, you know what I mean? Like how you're supposed to,

I guess that's the whole POW thing though. Right. Yeah. Or just like if, if you know somebody died, it was embarrassing for your, you know, unit or whatever.

You just say they're still at large or whatever. Right. Well, so while this was going on, I guess half the Pentagon had fucking gone home because it was a snow day. They call a snow day at the Pentagon. So, I mean, have you ever seen that movie In the Loop? It's from the mid-2000s.

In the Loop. I think it's an Arnando Iannucci film. The guy that did Veep. I'm pretty sure. I'm not entirely positive. Don't quote me on that. I don't know the movie. I know Iannucci. Let me look it up real quick. People in the audience are screaming.

It is Iannucci. Give me the bleach powder. I'm sorry. Give me the bleach i'm sorry i was just trying to look till you found it um well basically it's just like how macabre and hilariously comedic you know it is when major powers decide to go to war right you know and how they'll just grasp at straws for anything makeup shit makeup shit and how they're just grasp at straws for anything and make up shit make up shit and how they're all incompetent bumbling fucking idiots driven by their own egos who send people

like from where we come from to just be cannon fodder exactly exactly yeah whose decisions have real world consequences um well it's all i could think of when I was witnessing everything that was going on at the Pentagon on, like, Tuesday. Yeah. So, like, that was, so, you know, these missiles are launched. And, again, the World War III things come back on Twitter. People are saying, okay, we actually are going to war. This is war. Iran is retaliating.

But then Iran comes out and says, like like we're not interested in a quick response retaliation what iran is actually interested in we pointed this out in the patreon iran is like we said they have long-term you know strategy they are going to have some sort of long-term retaliation that will have meaning and like impact um which is not what the american military establishment wanted at all clearly clearly they wanted fucking war you know what i mean they wanted boots on the ground tanks rolling to tehran the whole nine you're right um so then the next day trump has to come out And give a press conference He said he was gonna give

A press conference The night that this was happening Tuesday night And then fucking I don't know Decided not to For whatever reason So on Wednesday

He gave this Long and rambling Press conference You know Basically saying Like Oh we're just going to Put more sanctions on Iran

Etc etc And that's it Try to look like the bigger guy In the situation we're just going to put more sanctions on Iran etc etc and that's it try to look like the bigger guy in the situation right right exactly we started the thing and now we're going to put more sanctions on them and that's it so today I was like

as I was getting ready for this episode well has there been any movement on the troop thing are are we gonna withdraw the troops nothing no there's nothing been written about it since yesterday at all no so it's already down the fucking memory hole we're already down to jonathan shait saying you know what maybe maybe bloomberg does make some sense to me which means that it is like everything else trump does again like okay when we did that episode i was like well maybe you know maybe it's a little hubristic maybe we're a little ridiculous for saying that you know trump's own sort of hubris and self-obsession and uh you know power you know self-worship you know, power drunkenness or whatever

is, you know, what caused all this. But no, I'm kind of thinking that that's what it is. Probably right. Just like everything else. Just like the fucking travel ban. Just like all the fucking executive orders. It's like every other fucking thing. It's just a guy reveling in his own supreme power.

Well, let me tell you this. I am, I understand having that kind of carte blanche a little bit i'm on my union's bargaining team and you know it's interesting to be a uh noted figure in the left media scene of that's a joke but also show up at the bargaining table and like everybody there's way smarter than me by a factor of ten

oh yeah that's my life and so like what I do is just like try to do a few things here and there to look

you know certain like I've earned my place that's what Trump was doing with you know basically everything atrocious he's done

so I'll just be like everybody will just be putting in this heavy lift and then they'll go, hmm, anybody want to read this passage? I can do that. So I'll just read the passage and then everybody gives me a panel of X. I'm a good boy.

Then the real people are, you know. Doug, I have learned, I learned a long time ago that there's two ways to get through life if you're a dumbass like me. If you know how to read, just read. Yeah.

Read things out loud and laugh at people's jokes. Yeah. Even if they're not funny. Be unfailingly polite and try to have an encyclopedic knowledge of music and film

and you can navigate life beautifully while being a completely moronic. Because I'm gonna tell you something. I am a fucking idiot. You don't understand. Like, I was raised in an oil patch. So that means I'm at least like eight years behind the rest of the left in terms of like theory and history.

Like, I'm still so far behind. But you got a grizzled working person's facade. So it's like it bumps you up you know into the yep yeah just coasting baby just coasting um so anyways yeah i mean like i'm astonished i'm astonished like that's it like that four days ago everybody everybody was like, World War III, and now it's fucking, like, every other thing. Nothing. Just out. That's amazing, too.

Like, when people started whispering about World War II and World War I, which I guess probably World War I wasn't called World War I. Probably called something else and then later changed to World War I. But when they started whispering about World War II, that probably wasn't something that dissipated in 72 hours. No. Definitely not. Let me ask you a question. Without social media,

do you think this conflict would have been quashed already? Man, I don't know. Without, I mean, just the rapid spread of information being what it is. Or you mean,

do you mean without social media, do you think it would have kept going on? Or mean with, without social media, do you think it would have kept going on? Or are you, are you saying that social media helped quash it?

I think social media is probably, does at least something to hinder new wars from starter. I kind of agree, weirdly enough. You know what I mean? I agree with you on this kind of.

Because I feel like for some weird reason you can hold people to account. If you look at the Iraq war, all this shit wasn't around then. Facebook hadn't even kicked off really. Well, you can see the faces of people in Iran and see them as people. And so the propaganda that they feed you that know that these are you know barbarians and they're fucking religious zealots and a death cult now you can see that this is bullshit no yeah it's just bullshit like people just like there is this is gonna sound super fucked up but i just i'm just saying this as somebody from eastern kentucky that grew up being fed a steady

diet of that shit when i see somebody from Iran on Twitter, that's just a college student tweeting normal things that I would be tweeting, I always have that like, oh shit, they really are like us. You know what I mean? That kind of moment. And I don't mean that like in a racist way

or anything like that. It's just like I have just been so programmed and I don't think this way intellectually anymore. anymore yeah but that's still like there to think of people in the muslim world as like sort of you know from this antiquated period where you know yeah they're still doing all you know these you know racist things that aladdin depicts whatever. You know what I mean? Well, yeah, it's this thing. Anybody in our generation, and the generation probably right before us, like Gen X, has been inculcated from day one

in nonstop anti-Arab, anti-Iranian, anti-Muslim paranoia, propaganda, just wall-to-wall. Wall-to-wall. You know? Yeah. And so even if you are, you know, like you're saying, like even if you know better and you're intelligent,

it's still hard to break down what you've been programmed to think. Because, like, that's... I mean, because, again, like, you know, let's see, after 9-11, I was 13 when 9-11 happened. I was about 15 when we went to war in Iraq. I mean, those, like, that time was so different than right now because I can't really put it into words. I think more than any other thing,

that's what radicalized me just because I saw how insane all the adults were acting. You know what I mean? And just the fear everybody had. And they pointed this out, I think, on the most recent Chapo, and it's true. It's like if you were even remotely anti-war, and I'm saying this as a 15-year-old who was anti-war, you would get immediately castigated and scolded or outed as a pariah. And in my case, would get literally scolded by adults, by teachers who are supposed to be telling you to

think for yourself and think critically and all this no it was complete conformity at all time you had to conform the u.s was at war you had to line up behind bush dude those were some deep those were dark times man very fascist and very fascist and also i think too the thing that's kind of interesting coming out of all this is, and connected to that social media thing, curbing this sort of wars and stuff, I think you are starting to see the sort of thread run bare of American imperialism in terms of our ability to gin up support all over the all over the globe and everything yeah it's like like boris johnson was just notoriously mum like it's very mum about this that's true like the only thing i really saw from the british government about this was from

corbin right who seemed to be like fucking you know working overtime to try to prevent britain jumping in, just like they did in 2003. Yeah, and so I think more than anything, what's happened is, I think it's twofold. One, it's just that spread of information that's gone so fast, and it's easier to cut through the propaganda,

but the second thing is, we are just starting to show the signs of an empire in decline. Yeah. We can't just call up our buddies and form these big, broad coalitions anymore, which is the only way you stop the war machine. Right?

Honestly. Dude, you're right. Well, another thing I was thinking about is how Iran has leveraged social media. I mean, have you noticed this? In many ways, they've been able to demonstrate and show themselves as more level-headed than the united states in the arena of public opinion globally right which is pretty fascinating yeah i mean totally again like like

we said on the patreon like if you're iran like a lot of your short term interests in the region have just been handed to you on a silver platter. So, I mean, you don't even really need to retaliate militarily like a big in a big way in the short term. More than that, you can just kind of sit back and win hearts and minds. look i mean like granted i'm not saying that america has um received widespread acceptance worldwide especially you know not after 2003 but like it is even easier now to portray america as this militaristic just bloodthirsty war machine um especially with a guy like Trump at the helm, which is ironic because he has no strategy. Trump has no larger plans for anything. You know what I mean? Everybody's like, oh, look, I'm looking presidential.

Like he's not even like Bush, who was so stupid, like he let himself be more or less a puppet of like Cheney, Cheney's like long-term plans in region, and Wolfowitz and all these other people. There's no one like that around Trump except Pompeo. And Pompeo can't even fucking control the guy. Yeah. Yeah. Like he has no strategy or anything.

No. I don't know, man. I mean, I think that it is more ripe than ever to take that fucking White House. It really is. It is fucking so ripe for the taking. And also, here's the other thing, too,

that we just, you know, we just defraud ourselves about. We've never did anything in war that was remotely successful without these broad coalitions. Yeah. The French won the Revolutionary

War for us. Marquis de Lafayette and the boys didn't show up. We're probably fucking entering that. We would still be colonies of Great Britain. Colonies of Great Britain, yeah. And talking very differently, probably. Yep.

So, it's interesting to see that the one thing that like our ability to like um sort of inspire confidence in other places to get them involved in our little imperialistic adventures yeah is on the way and therefore the the war machine for as much as we're spending i was kind of neutered outside of like shit like what trump's. Now, I'm not saying we're not still bloodthirsty and won't do drone strikes and whatever else, but it's telling that we probably can't launch a new land war.

Yep. You know what I mean? Which is a good thing. Yeah, no. Bring the troops home. Close the military bases. There's what? Throw down your weapons, people.

Let's just fucking, let's just. I mean, and we pointed this out on the patreon but like it was really great to see bernie basically saying like not only that like i will stop in by any means necessary us going to war but that we need to completely pull out of the middle east yeah which is you know i mean okay so the linchpin and all this is israel like you know like for for bernie's for there to be a consistent thread there for bernie to really mean that his to his um you know his line on israel is gonna have to change um so i mean i don't. Take it with a grain of salt. Obama also said we're going to do a lot of things and then didn't do it.

And so, you know, I don't know. But, I mean, Bernie's not Obama, and I'm not trying to draw that comparison. I'm just saying that, like, you know, once people get into office, there is an entire military, you know, apparatus and infrastructure that then bears down on the person in the office. And it's like we've said multiple times, what does that mean for Bernie if he was to win? Does he wind up like Evo or does he wind up like, you know, I don't know. Anyways, the point I'm trying to make, though, is that there's only one person that's actually being consistent about all this, and it's Bernie.

And that's important because, like, to me, the Soleimani thing just shows that, like, you know, it's like you've said before, like, how cavalier we are in these sort of imperial acts. And, I mean, shit, something like if Trump can just like ice one of the most important dudes in the Middle East, what's to stop him from doing it again to someone else? You know what I mean? Like who won't have the restraint that Iran has had during all of this.

You know, Iran has had incredible level-headedness and restraint during all this. Fuck. Fucking Hez all this. Fuck. Fucking Hezbollah. Yeah. Has even said, we're not attacking American citizens because we're playing on the barbarians' terms then. Yeah. Yes, exactly. When Hezbollah is exhibiting a lot more restraint and measurement than we are, which is probably...

I see what you're saying because personally,, personally, I'm, you know, pro-Hezbollah. I mean, I think we're on the record as being pro-Hezbollah. I'm just saying. You're saying hypothetically. For you uninitiated out there, if you need, yeah. Well, that's why I was going to bookend that with. It's like, actually, Hezbollah usually is more level-headed measured than the U.S. government. Exactly. All these groups are because they have long-term goals, ambitions, interests, and strategies.

Whereas the United States is a, they're never in communication with each other. It is just shoot first, ask questions later. It's like the David Frum thing. Just shoot first, ask questions later. It's like the David Frum thing. It's like, you know, I posted that from the Dexter Filkins profile of Soleimani, how Soleimani in the early 2000s was at great political risk to himself, advocating within the Iranian government that maybe we need to reevaluate our relationship with the United States. Because it had been an adversarial

since the hostage crisis. What fucking completely destroyed all that, any hopes of ever rebuilding that connection, was Bush's Axis of Evil speech, written by David Frum. And the thing is, to me, the crazy thing about that, it's crazy enough that they wrote that speech and that they thought it would be a good idea and everything. It's even crazier to me that they did not inform their diplomats in the State Department, on the ground, in the Middle East, etc., that they were going to be saying that and doing that.

So what happened was just mass chaos. And that's how the American empire works. Yeah, it's like everybody wants to talk about, and listen, when I say this, I'm not defending Hillary Clinton or Fugazi. But it's like, it's that type of shit we do that if we're as unsafe abroad as we think we are, or even here, that causes that, or at least engenders that feeling. I mean, I don't think it's much to do about nothing.

I think the odds of the united states being attacked in traditional like military bombing campaign are pretty slim but um yeah yeah yeah yeah well what it what it does i mean i don't know it's uh i think the the larger point here is that the United States is a global force for terrorism. The biggest, in fact. Pretty much a vast majority. We share the lion's share of violence and terrorism around the globe. We have to, particularly if you've been indoctrinated

in that stuff for as long as we have and people like where we're from have, it's a hard thing to come to grips with. Yeah. You know? But when you get a sort of a revelation of that, that like, oh wait, we create a good chunk of the world's problems

to pillage resources, to put our own leaders in power wherever we want them, et cetera. Well, I mean, there's only a few more points I want to hit on this before we just move on to the next thing. But another one I wanted to hit on was, you know, at times like this, I think the less role has to be, especially in this moment where all you fucking hear anybody talk about when they talk about Medicare for All

is how are you going to pay for that? Not just Medicare for All, I mean all the other problems that we have in front of us. How are you going to pay for that? Where does this money come from? And it's just like, as we said earlier,

you got 750 military bases around the globe doing what? What the fuck are they doing? Why the fuck do we need to be in all these places yeah we don't we don't and uh and so i mean for me it i mean it's obvious it's uh maybe it's simplifying it like you know i i'm fully aware that like uh it's not just as easy as getting in the white house we're gonna shut down the military and then put all the money in the Medicare for All. I understand that.

But it does, it should be, you know, a nice little grand slam for leftists to be like, well, look, this is what our nation's priorities are. It's not taking care of you. It's making sure you are as miserated as possible until it needs you to go fight a war. And then we're going to treat you like shit.

And we're going to treat you like shit after that too. We'll be able to get proper treatment, proper benefits, and all that shit. But if you go on an airplane, they might stand up and give you a standing ovation at the end. And you'll get a good parking spot at Walmart. Actually, you won't even get that because the cops are getting that. The cops have supplantedanted the troops the cops get treated way better than the troops

100 100 another thing i wanted to bring up about this the only other thing i wanted to bring up about this is like do you think that parsh part of the state department and pentagons and etc their decision and not to not to really hit back after Iran's quote unquote retaliation do you think that part of it was because there's no public support for a war like this? It seems to me like there's no public support. No, there's not.

There's not. Nobody's into this. Nobody's and that's like yeah, I think that's that's like yeah I just I mean I think that's the most glaring thing for me

yeah our traditional allies are just sitting this one out our allies are sitting this out the public no one gives a fuck

no I mean couple of hashtag world war 3 tweets but yeah mostly turn into

dick jokes and yeah whatever else the funniest tweets on there are like guys who work for the national review who are like guys who work for the National Review

who are like, I live in New York. If New York gets hit, we will level Tehran. Like, I'm ready to... You know, people who think that by virtue of where they live, like, they get rewarded

some Medal of Bravery. I mean, and only conservatives think like this. Yeah. Only war-hungry conservatives think that, like, living in D.C. puts... DC And us the Appalachian land That's true

And us Yeah Well anyways Well you want to move on That's all I got for Next topic Next topic We got a good one

We got a nice little op-ed to hit. Tom, are you ready for it? I'm ready for it. Okay. Been ready for it. All right. It is in the Louisville Courier-Journal, published on January 3rd, 2020. Opinion.

Visit Appalachia. See the progress. Support the work to reinvent Eastern Kentucky. Man. Let me tell you about Eastern Kentucky and Appalachia. I went to Ohio, I guess was that Tuesday? Wednesday, Thursday? Yeah.

Tuesday night to see our buddies. And I texted my friend Nick Craft from Galapagos, Ohio. He kind of lives up that way. I said, man, I'd like to see you for a little time. I didn't have enough time, so I couldn't get up with him. But he sent me a message back this morning. He said, you smell that crisp air? He said, everything you've been breathing

has been filtered through scrubbers and lime dust. He said, everything you've been breathing has been filtered through scrubbers and lime dust. I don't know how it's going. I'm just saying, point being, that flat just got some problems. All right, the author of this piece is Brooke Smith. And so I can't decide if I want to give you a biography of Brooke Smith before or after

I read the first line of this piece of shit. But why don't we do it after all right here we go the mountains of appalachia are just as much part of kentucky as the skyscrapers in louisville wow it's okay so the reason why this is funny to me um and uh and the reason why we're going with a little bit of, you know, some niche Appalachian content here, is that the guy who wrote this works for, or not works for, owns a surety bond company, right? Right. It's called Smith Manish Surety Bonds.

One of the things they do is they provide bonds for environmental remediation. So basically, they insure strip mining, right? Right. Is that how this works? Right. And when those bonds come due and payable, usually what they do is,

oh, well, look what I've given this much money to this and this and this and this and this and this to try to kind of stave it off a little bit. But yeah, it's interesting because, you know, it's almost like you've seen that little clip going around with Bernie talking about the Iran thing. Not this recent Soleimani killing, but when Trump was talking big a few months before that. And he said it's almost like somebody sets a trash can on fire right and then when they go when they put the fire out of the trash can they won't praise for it right this is what this mirrors today basically yes that is exactly right this guy has made

millions we're not talking like this isn't even a hyper hyperbole he's probably made billions no i'm definitely not feelings but definitely millions off of the absolute environmental destruction, just demolition of Appalachia. And one thing I just want to say about the part of Kentucky thing, not for nothing, I just want to say that I think the hills and the trees in eastern Kentucky are actually more part of Kentucky than these huge monuments to corporations that dot the skylines right just want to say that so there's a rich irony here and again this isn't this is not just something that's like relevant to just Appalachia because I'm sure every community has

a brooksmith every rural or urban community has some rich asshole who has participated in the pillaging of that community for its resources, the exploitation and destruction of the people there, and then has positioned themselves as some benevolent philanthropist who's plugging money back into the community. Right, right. And so that's what this op-ed is. It is a commercial for his own good works. Right. And so that's why the title of it is visit

appalachia see the progress support the work to reinvent eastern kentucky and meanwhile i mean if you want to like just just you know a sampling of headlines just from the last few months this is like the progress in eastern k Eastern Kentucky that's been going on. More than $1.7 million in funds to boost security in Eastern Kentucky schools. Our own Letcher County is now a Second Amendment sanctuary county. I saw that.

I was reading on WYMT the other day their top 10 stories of the year 2019. I shit you not, dude. Six of them were about meth or opioid-driven deaths. You know what I mean? Those are the top stories. Oh, shit. Dude, we are at the epicenter of a place that has been completely ravaged by either coal mining, timber removal, pharmaceutical, predation.

And like, I don't know, just the surreality. Is that the word? The surreal nature of it. Okay, the surreal nature of someone who's had a hand in that then being like i've i've uh you know we're making progress let me tell you something it's like the malcolm x quote you don't stab a man in the back nine inches pull it out four and celebrate your progress that's exactly. So this is what he says. Each of these communities rises and falls

on the shoulders of the great people of our commonwealth. We should proudly embrace every unique part of our great state for the common good. While my home

and businesses are unlovable, much of the success I've been blessed with and many of my friends and acquaintances have come from my decades of work in eastern Kentucky. Imagine that. Imagine that. success i've been blessed with and many of my friends and acquaintances have come from my

decades of work in eastern imagine that imagine that how let me ask you a question how many rich assholes on this planet can say that no for your work in eastern kentucky like that you're just copping to using it as a resource colony like exactly that's all you're saying you aren't down you aren't down here fucking uh you know curing river blindness and you know again so building homes or whatever what his what his so we've said what he does what how he made his millions what his commercial in the courier journal is for is for his nonprofit, right? It's a nonprofit or a foundation. It's called the Appalachian Impact Fund.

It's part of the work to reinvent eastern Kentucky. So this is what they do. They take money that Brooke made in his work in Eastern Kentucky, which is one way to put it. And then plug it back into other nonprofits who are just treating the symptoms of capitalism. And so we'll get to that in a minute because he itemizes those things. Like, you know, he's got to show off a little bit.

So he'll itemize them here in a minute for you, but this is the lead-up to it. That's why my wife, Pam, and I have committed to doing everything we can to help this special region help itself through the long-hilling and reinvention ahead as it reels from a sun-setting coal economy. Well, here's an awful idea.

How about you give every dime you've ever made in surety to these families who are dying from opioid addiction and the consequences of it and everything else. People who are dying from the consequences of what you aided and abetted by insuring these vultures. That's how you do that. Not throwing, coming to town and fucking glad handing with everybody and throwing $70,000 to a community kitchen. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Throwing whatever. I mean, the thing is, is like, you know, and look, I don't think there's anything like inherently wrong with that. But when you're rehabilitating guys like this. Honestly, I'm I don't know. Maybe I'm just saying this because I want to make a point. But in some ways, I think these people are even bigger vultures than the coal industry itself. Because, look, the coal industry is just, I mean, it is what it is. They're doing the same shit.

I mean, they're killing people. I mean, I'm not saying. But at least the coal industry, well, okay, maybe up until about 20 years ago, the coal industry was never cloaking itself in this kind of like, we're doing good for the community. Of course, they started doing that with the Friends of Coal stuff. But like, you know, for the most part, the story has been, we just want your fucking resources. Give it to us or you're fucking dead. Which is like, okay.

You know what I mean? I can fight against this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what this fucking asshole is doing is he's taking your shit, but he's also at the same time rubbing your back and trying to make you feel better about it. I'm not that bad because, look, I'm not giving you the money.

Of course, I can't do that. But like you said, I will give it to the community kitchen up the road that you and your family can abstractly benefit from, like you said i will give it to the community kitchen up the road yeah you and your family can abstractly benefit from yeah but you never fucking will because none of this shit ever fucking works yeah anyways cole's long slow decline has hurt the region and kentucky residents every day face the many challenges of a displaced economy what the fuck is a displaced economy okay also too not for nothing but if you're the guy that is bonding out these outfits okay that are using these mountaintop removal techniques which

is i mean just i mean matters of what we believe aside devastating the workforce causing coal production to go through the roof but coal jobs to just decline precipitously right like you too have a direct hand in the whole economy's decline even on the face up right you have no fucking right yeah to talk about a displaced economy you helped do the displacement you did the displacing yeah but appalachia is also a place of immense history culture innovative and smart people who are not wringing their hands in absolute frustration but instead working with Appalachia is also a place of immense history, culture, innovative, and smart people who are not wringing their hands in absolute frustration, but instead working with one another to move the region forward.

Like six people. We created the Appalachian Impact Fund as a catalytic response. A catalytic response. Catalytic converter in a car. It's a catalyst. It's a catalyst. It's a catalyst is what it's called. I think it means a catalyst. It's appalling usage, sir.

Great non-profit speak, by the way. I love that shit. A catalytic response to these challenges. A fun to fuel continued momentum in the mountains. Connected deeply to communities with a focus on expanding entrepreneurial opportunities and increasing opportunity in all community building sectors. It's the first investment strategy of its kind to tackle every slice of the revitalization pie, and I invite all Kentuckians to be part of this journey.

For those wanting to place a bet on Appalachia, the odds have shifted from long shot to favorite. Bro, listen, I've been making a book. I've been a bookmaker as long as I can remember, until recently. And I would never in a million years say that Appalachia's a favorite for anything except for certain death and misery

and I don't say that in in like a black peeled teehee ha ha sense what I'm saying is that as long as people like this have purchased and as long as sort of the people in power here that pull the purse strings that need something from this guy we have to we have to wipe all that out yes absolutely that whole sort of system of patronage and clientage to your wealthy benefactors from a handful of people in the community that got in on the ground floor of that racket. And listen, we've said it many times,

you and I in some ways are progenitors of that culture. And listen to us when we say we know this is bad stuff. Absolutely. Because it doesn't empower anybody. No. It's not. And my ideology of Marxism aside, we gave it a fair go. I mean, we entertained this shit for way longer than we probably should have.

That's exactly right. That is exactly right. For those wanting to place a bet, okay, working from the bottom up, our investment fund's goal is to create lasting change in a region that has had so much extracted from it. By you, bitch. By you. AIF is supporting, or Appalachian Impact Fund is supporting

a community-led movement from a mono-economy to a diverse, vibrant one that can provide long-term economic sustainability. And we're doing this by taking direction from the people who matter most, Eastern Kentuckians who know their challenges and solutions best. What they mean by that is they mean rich Eastern Kentucky. Rich Eastern Kentucky. It's the power brokers. The power brokers.

The gatekeepers. Yeah, they don't mean fucking Starla working at the Double Quick. No. You know, who has two jobs at Double Quick and McDonald's. No. Working 80 hours. That's not what they mean. They don't mean Jeff from Park Creek.

You know, runs a garage out of his home. You know what I mean? No. We see the fund as a center of a quilt. I love when they do these analogies and metaphors and non-profits. Quilt is one. Garden is another one. Like in the just transition garden, you have to have a diverse.

I don't have a diverse. We see the fund as a center of a quilt, and each square in that quilt is one of the many people, partnerships, and initiatives working in the areas of community, economic development, job training, education, affordable housing, rural child care, arts and culture, entrepreneurship, local food and food security, substance abuse recovery, and more. Together, these squares are helping to rebuild a stronger region. You are certainly squares, I'll give you that.

Here are some examples. The Housing Development Alliance is helping people recovering from substance abuse disorders successfully reenter the workforce with paid on-the-job training in residential construction. The first of 15 new affordable and energy-efficient houses to be built over three years will be complete in early 2020. Bro, that's gotta be bullshit, right? Yeah. That's gotta be fucking bullshit.

Even if it's not... Who the fuck cares? Yeah. It's not be fucking bullshit. Even if it's not, who the fuck cares? Yeah. It's not fucking, okay. 15 new affordable energy efficient houses? That's 15 houses. Yeah. If you have millions of dollars, what the fuck are you doing building 15 houses?

Yeah. Anyways. Downtown revitalization projects. This is my favorite one, though. Downtown revitalization projects. This is my favorite one, though. Earlier I said that we'd be listing his accomplishments because he was listing his accomplishments. This one's my favorite.

A partnership with the James Beard Foundation and Fun for the Arts. We'll expand culinary arts programming throughout the region, creating opportunities in the restaurant sector and combating food insecurity. I shit you not, dude. What the fuck?

Man. Let me tell you something. If Sean Brock, who is, you know, the granddaddy of the whole Appalachian sort of, you know, bougie restaurant, James Beard award winning thing. If he is choosing to take his little food Academy thing to Nashville and not pound Virginia where he's from,

it's like everybody makes their name off of, I like, I have no qualms. If you've went off, you've made some money doing whatever you're doing and you come back here and want to like start something. Okay. Like that's just,

that's just kind of how that world works. You know what I mean? The give back world or whatever. Right. You know what I mean? Does it avail much in the long run? That's an open question, but whatever. But that's not even this.

No. No. These guys want to just do stuff on the periphery, but get their street credentials from being from here or having some sort of connection here or whatever. Yep. You know what I mean? There's nothing. Ain't nobody's trying to do nothing here. It's the all-star thing.

It's rich people in Louisville who have pillaged the region for its resources and millions, exploited people in the process, and then need to plug money back into it, not because it'll make them look better, because they don't care about that. Trust me.

The millionaires and billionaires, they don't fucking give a shit about their public image. Right. They're doing it because it's good for them and their taxes. Right. Because what happens if you're a millionaire or a billionaire or any rich person is that the government will expropriate your money through taxes. Right. And the way you get around that is through philanthropy.

Right. It is all about material self-interest. Trust me, it doesn't have shit to do with their public image and them wanting to give back. It's all a fucking long con to avoid putting back any meaningful input back into the economy that they took so fucking much from and got their millions from. And so they'll do that all day. They'll do that all day long.

And then, though, what is really, really, really gets sinister and why we call them the all-stars is because they will continue taking the cultural capital. Exactly. The music and the art and the food. Yeah. They'll fucking eat that shit up all day. They'll go to their conferences and talk about how great the food is and how we're losing foodways and all this shit.

They'll talk about how we're fucking. How they're Tyler Childers' cousin. Exactly. And they're very proud of their success and all that shit. Exactly. About how they're fucking learning claw hammer banjo or whatever the fuck. Yeah. Because, look, they like all that stuff.

Because look, trust me, I've lived here for eight years. That stuff's good. The music's good. The food's good. The art's good. The art's good. We're not short on those things. No, no.

But it's just like anything else. They'll continue to fucking take all that. And plenty of people fall for it. Plenty of smart people, I know, will fall for that. And it's really tragic. The fund's 360-degree approach is seeing an increase in support from national foundations and other partners who are confident that supporting this work will continue to produce similar results in long-term benefits. 360 degrees.

I mean, what ain't it? I don't know. I guess. Is this fund going to be used to do surety bonds again? I guess they mean like they see everything. Oh, okay. I think that's what they're saying. Like we've got the holistic image.

We see the macro image. All right. As we turn the corner on 2020 and you consider what new beginnings or resolutions this milestone of a new decade means to you, I invite you to think about Eastern Kentucky and remember that Appalachia is your sister community. You can support this work financially through giving, or you can support this work with your time by participating in some of the many organizations needing talent or volunteers. Or you can support this work by engaging in class warfare.

Exactly. Yeah, if it hasn't been clear to you at this point, and this is the thing, a lot of people will respond with this, because trust me, if you talk shit about me behind my back, it's gotten back to me, and I know a lot of you have and have said, well, what's their solution? They talk about class warfare. What are they proposing?

At least we're doing concrete on the ground shit. And my response to that is like, okay, you know, you have a point. Fair point. We don't have a paramilitary army. We don't have a... Good point.

That is a good point. That is a good point. However, I do think a crucial part of what we're doing is we're spreading an idea. And it's a very important idea. It's the most important idea

in the history of ideas. That's exactly right. And you can't, and let me tell you something, you'll never be able to top that. You'll never, exactly. It's the sweet science. That is exactly right.

No matter what fucking fancy catalytic words, whatever the fuck you want to call it, you put it in your grant reports, no matter how many rich people you cozy up to in the process, and it helps you sleep better at night because you're giving back to the region, it will never, ever be as good of a story or an explanation for how the world works as class warfare. Because at the end of the day, that's what it comes down to.

And quite frankly, you're not qualified to speak on class warfare no because you're rich so fuck off anyways but there are plenty of people who aren't rich who work for these non-profits and foundations who have to grovel with these fucking assholes every fucking day and um and i think that this is partially you know it's a good way to start 2020 we've hammered this point home many many times but if you're one of those people just like i once was until i got my shit stuffed uh then uh you know doesn't mean you have to like quit your job it doesn't mean that you have to uh get fired don't do that all it means is that you should start organizing your uh your organizations start talking to the people you work

with because there is a there's an entire community of people out there an entire world of people out there like we were saying jeff works out of his garage, Starla works at the fucking Double Quick, whatever, who are seeing no improvement in their lives. Things get worse year after year after year. These nonprofits don't do fucking shit. There's one person currently running for president that is offering just a little bit of a relief from that. You know?

And even then, I don't know if it'll work. That person, Amy Klobuchar. that person amy klobuchar that person is amy klobuchar um and so i'm not saying and so i'm not saying either that you know you know uh i don't know like i said don't quit your job whatever but start talking to your co-workers we have to defeat this idea we have to defeat this fucking idea that like as you were saying this network of patronage and clientage or or

you know benevolent capitalism or even a reformed capitalism or anything like that that it's going to save us because now it by its very design it's supposed to perpetuate the system and that's why i'm trying to i hope that we have done a good job in explaining that and removing the contradictions

these people don't do this to save face they don't do this because they want a nicer capitalism they do it for themselves because it helps them as a class yeah and and if they have have an inkling, just an inkling of shame about those things, it's to assuage that shame. Yeah. Right. That's exactly right. So most importantly, I invite you to visit Appalachia. Visit the new and expanding businesses. Experience the culture and take in the beautiful landscapes.

See the progress. Listen and meet the people who are leading themselves in our state to a brighter future fuck off i mean if you want to visit us that's fine come get us and then we'll go march and get our check but i don't know that is the fucking that's the most disgusting thing i've ever heard, man. But yeah, no. The thing, too, is like, and we've covered this many times, is like, you know, we talk about evil capitalism.

Like, capitalism's not evil. It's amoral, okay? Exactly. And that's what it's intended to do. The evil part is that its adherents know this, but in order to uphold this system, there has to be losers for capitalism to learn. Exactly.

You cannot have egalitarianism. Not everybody can have a dignified life, and that's where the moral conundrum comes in. So all these people trying to reform, make it nicer for capitalism, you still have to have losers. You still have to have people that need your largesse. Yep. Okay. None of the things that are outlined in this story are going to work unless there are losers. I mean I say that

100% seriously. There has to be losers. There has to be losers. And so it's choice. It really is a choice. Like what kind of world do you want to see? One where there has to be losers or one where everybody has a dignified life. That's exactly right.

So yeah I mean embrace Marxism. exactly right um so uh yeah i mean embrace marxism unless you're rich in which case you can't it's like oil and water you can't be even in the top five percent and and be like okay uh these trail billy guys make some good points they make some very cogent points. If you want to help out, you know, I'm not even going to say give us money. I would say kill yourself, but I'm not that...

I'm not that cruel, but I... But I do... I do advocate for something similar. Maybe, like, remove yourself from the world. Like, go to... What's Jeffrey Epstein's Island? Okay, maybe don't do that.

I would say what Jesus said to the rich young ruler. Give away all you have and take up your cross and follow us. Okay, that's a good one. I mean, which is a funny thing, because if you tell people that, if you tell rich people that, they'll never do it. Well, the rich young ruler didn't do it.

The rich, exactly. Exactly. So, yeah, I don't know. But you could also donate to us. I mean, again, if you're rich, I don't really want your money, but I don't know. But you could also donate to us. I mean, again, if you're rich, I don't really want your money, but I kind of do. It's because I need to pay off healthcare.

But seriously, if you want to listen to more Trailbillies, go to the Patreon, P-A-T-R-U-N.com slash Trailbilly Workers Party. Get us back over 10K, would you? Yeah, help us get... That was a psychic dent to me. It was. It was demworkersparty. Get us back over 10K, would you? Yeah, help us get... That was a psychic dent to me. It was. It was demoralizing.

To dip back under. I'd reached the promised land, and then it was just... I'm bitching about nothing. I mean, I'm very, very blessed to have everybody giving money and listening to us and giving a shit.

Well, I'm the... I was telling Nick Hayes this the other day, I'm now the brokest trailbilly. So you two motherfuckers have jobs. Man, I don't know. Save me the derelict situation I woke up in this morning. Yeah, point taken.

Point taken. All right. All right. Well, go support us. We'll have a good episode for you over at the Patreon. Hope you've had a good new year. And we look forward to another good one with you. See you out there.