Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 19: Popper Doxx

Episode Date: August 4, 2017

In Episode 19, Tom signs the gang up for a debate tournament with the big dawg JD Vance. Tarence forces everyone into a problematic leadership exercise. John Popper doxxes some poor soul.

Have you ever thought about how the language that you speak might be limiting you to various emotions or feelings? Like, there are emotions, or I don't know, ways to describe things in other languages that we don't have in the English language. Yeah, especially love. Yeah. Most other languages, don't they have like many ways to talk about love? Because love is so fucking complicated we're just like love yep that's a it's the one word that's that's it luv we've got that kind of love too yeah do you know any of the other words because because uh it's like to describe love a family it's very different than love right of a romantic partner

or love of a book. You know what I mean? Like, really, this word, this is just like an all-encompassing word to describe probably 20 different actual emotions. Yeah, the English, I guess we're just so economical. It's just like, it's really quite annoying, actually. Instead of being expressive, it's just like, just put it all under one. Yeah, I don't know what other examples would be. Do you know any other languages?

No. I was very close to having a minor in American Sign Language from EKU. Really? I dropped the last class I had to have, Fingerspelling, which I actually was pretty bad at um because it was only offered at 8 a.m and i was a bartender i was like there's no way i'm making 8 a.m classes it's just not gonna happen um but the problem with finger in American Sign Language is that you have to like reroute your brain to sound out the

letters instead of spell them out. Because I'm like a visual person anyway and when I see letters I spell them out. Instead of sound them out. And like the spelling of words quickly is not helpful to me. It was not helpful to me. in fact i um had a crush on a deaf guy in my classes that i had multiple classes with um he was from harlan county and

so we'd always talk about four-wheeling and all this shit and he was always teaching me all these weird sign words right and so one day we're just like you know whatever shooting the shit and he asked me my favorite movie and i'm like thinking and while i'm thinking about what my favorite movie is he tells me his favorite movie and he's finger spelling out the title and he spells out c o c k and i'll just lose it because i'm already nervous around this guy because i want to fuck him anyway and so he spells out cock and i completely lose my goddamn mind and start stuttering and like sweating and he's looking at me like do you know he's he's looking at me for recognition like you know i'm talking about because he keeps spelling but i after after k i lose it all i don't know what he says after that and he's like you know

and i was like uh are you telling me porn like is this is this what is this how we're we're at school so i'm down but like i just don't even know what to do i'm just like so he spells it again and i do the same thing i'm like i'm like having a fit and finally the girl behind me says cocktail because she's seeing this play out the tom cruise movie yes she's taking she oh shit she has pity on my frail mind and throws me a bone and i'm like oh yeah and i have to try to cover up for this uh that's good just fuckery because i'm a complete moron that's good. Just fuckery because I'm a complete moron. That's pretty good. Have y'all seen that, have y'all seen the video of,

like, I think it would be badass to have, to know Americans, hey Tom, welcome. Tom, did you run here?

Honey, you sweating? You look like you've seen a thing or three. My truck broke down. Goddamn, really? Second time in two weeks.

Oh my God. It's the heat, man. It's the heat. We're all broke down. I feel like I'm a broke fucking mule um raw sewage running to the river yeah where my mom's house it smells so bad i know we had thunders here last week we were walking across the bridge and the river stank smelled so bad

and i said well i'm glad we got the river smelling good for y'all while you were here and they were just kind of like awkwardly laughing. So what were we talking about? Cocktail? Yeah, well. Happens to be my third favorite Tom Cruise vehicle.

She was talking about this guy she wanted to fuck in college. If he was really good at ASL, he was probably really good.

He's probably really good at hand jobs. Probably really good at using his fingers. Yeah, I did not find out, unfortunately. You didn't get to fuck him?

I didn't fuck him. Well, where I was going to go with that was... I struck out. I think it's badass how if you know ASL, you can be one of those people who's at like a concert.

Like, did y'all see that video? Oh, yeah. The like, Waka Flocka Flame and that woman that she's doing all this. Actually, I saw Waka Flocka Flame perform

and the woman signing on stage with him at Fourcastle. Oh, really? Yeah, I saw it with my own eyes. Oh, that happened at Fourcastle. Okay. Oh, was it at Fourcastle? That's where the video's from? Yeah, I think it is.

It was very recently. I kept trying to get closer to her because she was so into it and doing so good. I was like, this bitch is awesome. That could have been me. I was on my way to an interpreting degree and my bartending. Poon got in the way. Yeah. Or yeah, bartending. Bartendingending poon got in the way yeah yeah essentially bartending

and poon got in the way all great stories are like that you either rise to the top or poon gets in the way yeah or you're drowning your own bar I um I once used uh I once feigned knowledge of ASL to get a girl's phone number I I told her that my dad was deaf and that I knew sign language. Oh my God, you are terrible. I was just like in college and she's like, oh my God, that's so cute. It's so adorable.

I was like, then my dad's deaf? That's offensive. No, no, no, no. Oh, she's offensive. That you learned the sign language for him. Yeah, she's offensive in this story. Well, when you're in the middle of a lie, you've got to ride it on out.

You've got to ride it on out. Or abandon the cop to it. Right. Which you've probably never done. Nah. Unlike Hova. Daniel Dodson says that if your woman catches you in the act cheating on her,

he says don't ever cop to it. He says even if she walks in on you, I've got to tell you you're sleepwalking. I actually did one of the guys, one of the minors from Harlan County, the retired union minors I used to work with, they have these big reunions and

apparently once a wife walked in on him and another retired union miners I used to work with. They have these big reunions. And apparently once a wife walked in on him and another woman and he swore that he was so drunk he thought it was her. Baby, I thought it was you. Oh my. That is like...

That's quick thinking. He said, what? This ain't... What? What? Huh? Let that be a lesson to you. If you catch your man in a compromising situation, he is cheating on you. Doesn't matter what the fuck he says.

Doesn't matter if they're shades. God bless. He's a dog. Yeah. They're all dogs. Yeah with yeah with cheating there's really not shades i mean it is really one of those things in life that's pretty much black and white it's like there's really no you did yeah there's really not shades to that there's no uh well right all right well um should we go ahead and get started? We're started. This is one of my favorite things about our podcast.

We are going good, and then Terrence is like, well, let's get this thing started officially every week. Well, I was going to go pee, but if we're already started, I'll buckle in. I think we should get a bell that you get to ring when you decide we've officially started. You can ding, ring that bell. Terrence, get this thing going all right all right go ahead and get you guys caught up to speed about what i've got us into here uh oh god i challenged uh

jd vance and andy barr to a debate i saw i saw that i was like what you did tom what did you get me into well just think about it though wait did you do this on twitter today yeah it was just like an hour ago i work a job'all. I can't keep up with this shit. Well, he offered Apple Shop to host it. I asked if Apple Shop would host.

Oh, my God. Let's do it. Oh, my God. You think he would actually do it? Wait, JD and Andy Bar? Yeah. Because they took

this dumbass picture of them holding each other and it was like, we had a great discussion today about the future of Eastern Kentucky. What the fuck does Andy Barr care? Exactly. Andy Barr's district is like fucking life.

Yeah. Did y'all read that there was an article in the Herald Leader maybe like a few months ago. It was back in March. It was following Andy Barr on this road trip around the state of Kentucky and he was trying to sell people on the AHCA.

It was so goddamn funny. It was so funny. It was just like him just getting reamed everywhere he went, just getting screamed at, just talked like he was absolute dog shit. Who's the damn he put out? I can't remember his name now. I can't remember. It's been Chandler.

Chandler. Yeah, Chandler a kind of a dumb ass but i met him uh he used to come to kfdc stuff to try to save face even though we were all the time riding his ass yeah but he came to like our big 30th thing he's the guy that was supposed to do that mountaintop removal tour and then like they uh his excuse his official excuse from his washington dc staff was that they left the switch to the plane he was going to fly in on overnight, and it died, and they can't get it back. No fucking way.

Wow. That's a classic case of, I don't know, just tell them something. We have quite literally heard it all. We have had every excuse from our elected officials that you can possibly imagine to justify how poorly they have treated us. Yeah. If anything you can imagine, we have heard it. At least Howard Rogers just stays away. Right.

Out of sight, out of mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, that's not a bad strategy. So anyway, I threw the gauntlet down. Oh my God. I'm sorry, I've been listening to diss tracks all day. And I was like, all right.

Okay, I got a little something for you. He's all juiced up on the Nas, Jay-Z. Yeah. Beef of 2001. Right. We can't stop him. I mean, I don't even know how to debate. I don't either.

Shouldn't be too hard on these clowns. I'll just be here. I figure we go up there and we just kind of stand around and like, if you think about it, we really kind of got an advantage because like nobody, like these guys are polished, right? Like one's being groomed to run for Senate, one's in Congress. So it's like. Jenny Vance is turning. right like one's being room to run for senate one's in congress so it's like jd vance we're like conor mcgregor man we got nothing to lose and it could be a good payday because we get like good publicity and i honestly i could see jd being like let's all do it in drag okay well

parents looks a little too good i know i look pretty hot it's gonna look really good as a woman a couple halloweens ago one of my best friends from high school came up to me he was wild as fuck he goes hey i ain't gonna lie to you boy could get it tonight that was me i was sucking and fucking everybody you're the perfect kind of in between of twink and otter. Because you're not too twinkie and you're not hairy enough to be an otter, I feel like. Right. You're kind of like a good in between. You think I'm kind of between twink and an otter?

No. Pretty firmly an otter. More like between otter and bear, I'd say. More like between otter and bear Well You know in all fairness The makeup I had a good makeup artist That evening Oh I didn't even realize you dressed like a woman one year

Yeah Yeah no I did That's why I said you could get it Yeah I was like 2013 or something You were there I think I don't remember this at all Where was I? You were there, I think. I don't remember this at all.

It was a lot of people there. There was probably like 100 people there. What was my costume? Oh, God, I don't know. I want to say you were wearing a leather jacket for some reason. Yeah, that sounds right. A big wig. That sounds right.

Maybe. I do remember. All I know. I was the cool guy that was too cool to dress up. I was turning heads. That's all I know. I must not have even known it was you. I completely...

Several people did it. New girl on the block. Several people did it and tried to fuck me. And then they realized it was me and they were like, Oh no. Oh my God. The ultimate is if had hit on you that night. That would have been the best.

He didn't, but did. Not know it was me. I love that so much. I love that. Thought it was a new girl in town. Yeah. New hot piece of ass. It's Halloween, baby.

New hot piece of ass. Of course he did. He probably didn't even, he probably wasn't even ashamed. Yeah. I'm sure he didn't care. I'm sure he was like, hey, you know, I'll probably still be into it. Let's do it. Yeah.

All right, wait. There's something I was going to say about JD and Andy Barr. Well, there's like rules to debate and stuff. Isn't there like even certain like debate forms? Apple Shop's only going to host this if it's a full-on theater experience. Oh, we could make it so good.

People are going to scream at each other. Yeah, like someone has to have one of those big long canes and cane somebody off stage yeah we're gonna make it like a rocky horror picture show we're on home territory i don't think we'd get tomatoed but it'd be fucking hilarious to see jd get if anyone gets a tomato and doesn't use it on jd they're fucking ousted yeah the thing is is like it's a it's a high risk proposition for those two because andy's up for re-election jd's going into this so like if we completely dust these motherfuckers who's jd running against sherrod brown let's not remind you the last time i tried to put you in front of a group of people to debate anything let me tell you something since Since then I've found

something called Ativan. I'd debate goddamn Barack Hussein right now. And I would too. Damn, damn, damn. Because the last time I had to lie in front of 80 people and tell them that you had a work emergency

and you worked at a bar. But also... Hey, you'd be surprised what happens there. But here's the difference. I have two crutches to lean on and... Like what? Assume me?

We're your crutches? We're your crutches? We're your crutches. Those are some faulty crutches, my man. We're a unit. Dude, I have a bad back. We're your crutches? We're your crutches. Those are some faulty crutches, my man. We're a unit. Dude, I have a bad back. We're a unit. I mean, you know, I can throw down with the best of them, sure.

However. I feel like you get mad too fast. But exactly, that's what I was going to say. You have the worst temper of all three of us. I have a bad temper. I don't have the. Snatching audience members' tomato and just fucking. I don't have the... You'll snatch an audience member's tomato and just fucking kill JD.

I don't have the composure to really... And plus, it's probably diminishing returns. Because let's say they come and we debate them. What's it going to prove? Oh, yeah. People will write about it because JD Vance is attached to it. That's true.

They'll talk about us having the gumption to do it. There's publicity. J.D. Vance got his ass handed to him at the Apple shop and why it's perfect. And plus, if it's on our terms.

But now we're giving the game plan away to the listening audience. Like, we're turning out the game plan to the listening audience. We're like Bill Belichick.

We'll just be like, psych, never mind, we're not doing any of that. Just kidding. Oh no, except we're in. I just feel like if Terrence will lose his mind, we're not doing any of that. Oh no, except we're in. I just feel like if Terrence will lose his mind, he will see red.

That's fine, it'll be a good theater. Terrence yelled shut the fuck up in a fiscal court meeting recently. That's true, I did do that. And what did the guy do? The guy did shut the fuck up. He shut the fuck up, that's for damn sure. Hey, me, I'm no big guy. I'm no big guy.

I say shut the fuck up say, shut the fuck up. He shut the fuck up. I continued to stare at him the entire rest of the fucking meeting, too. Yeah, you pointed at him. He said, shut the fuck up. You added the finger. And I was sitting. I started patting you on the shoulder, trying to calm you down.

I was like, hey, yeah, it's okay. It's all right, buddy. It's all right. It's all along here. I just knew if that motherfucker had stood up, you'd have fought him. I just, I knew. I would have fought him for sure. I knew that we were about to have an outbreak.

I would have fought him for sure. Listen, children, while you motherfuckers are out here shit posting on Twitter, we're out here fighting, literally. We are literally fighting. Oil and gas execs. Get your fucking weight up. Yeah, get your RTs. Well, I do have to say, if you ever get the chance to

motherfuck a powerful person, definitely take it. It's a worthwhile experience. I did one time have to legit get in the middle of two men fist fighting in a Benham City Council meeting. Oh, shit. And at the exact time this was happening, I mean, I shit you not, get in the middle of two men fist fighting in a in a benham city council meeting oh shit and at

the exact time this was happening i mean i shit you not you can't make this up at the exact time that i was breaking up this fist fight in a city council meeting the sewage was backing up in my office and i retired when i finally got everything settled down and looked at my phone i had like 20 messages about my office filling with vile human raw sewage. And I was just like, I'm going to walk off a cliff. If I could find an edge right now of the earth, I'd be off it. That sewage leak produced a nice tomato yield out in front of your office. Yeah, we called them shit tomatoes.

And some herbalists, I ate one. Hell, some herbalists come up here and said, listen Yeah, we called them shit tomatoes. And some, you know, some herbalists, I ate one. Hell, some herbalists come up here and said, listen, that won't hurt the tomatoes. Another vegetable, it might manifest in, but tomatoes, you know, it won't bother them. So I ate them too. So a medical professional with extensive degrees

told you I'm not to eat shit. Told you. You can eat shit tomatoes. They grew straight out of a sewage line. That's pretty fascinating. Good information to know once the apocalypse comes. You know what I hate? Throw some seeds down.

Shit like that happens. I don't know if I was telling you this the other day. I was asleep. I was in a dead... I think I was telling you this. I don't remember. I was in a dead ass sleep at like 8 in the morning. And I heard this loud

explosion crash in my kitchen and it was like the shelf in my kitchen had fallen and there was shit everywhere, broken glass you know, all over the place and I was like I'm just gonna deal with this later and I went and I had to go to work

for like 10 hours and I came home and I'd forgotten all about it and I walked in the kitchen and I was like, fucking God damn it. Like my problems are still here. Like they don't just go away. Can't run from them, kids. I just love that you looked at it and you were like, uh-uh. Yeah, I was like, nah.

Nah, not right now. Nah, not fucking with that. Not fucking with that right now. You left Leon a house full of broken glass? I cleaned up the glass for him. However, I did make sure that... And that would be lodging a phone call to the ASPC. Yeah.

I put his food bowl in the living room to make sure he didn't need to go in the kitchen or anything. I wouldn't do that to my boy. I'm sure all day he was just like, this dumb bitch. Look at this fucking mess. This bitch left this fucking mess this bitch left this fucking mess look at this shit look at this shit this guy's a hack it was weird though it was like

you know like when you know like when something happens in I don't know how to put this. You know, you're like having a dream and like, um, something happens outside of the dream and reality in the real world.

And it sort of like goes into your dream a little bit. Does that ever happen to you? Like a loud noise or like, um, so something that happens before you go to sleep goes into your dream or something you're hearing. Yeah. When I was a kid, when I peed the bed, it was because I dreamed that I was going to the bathroom.

Hey, Tanya, it's okay. I use that excuse too. Turns out I just was a bed pisser. Every time I peed the bed, I dreamed that I got up, went to the bathroom. You know, it's funny. Isn't it funny? Like, I don't know. There are some things in dreams that, like, stay constants throughout your life.

Like, you know, I'm almost 30, but I still have the anxiety dreams about, like, showing up to school naked and stuff like that. Or showing up to work naked or something like that. Do'all ever get those I haven't in a while but I used to I definitely have had dreams about friends where I've gotten into a fight with a friend in a dream and then when I see them the next day I'm pissed right yeah I definitely have carried over hostility from a dream right and it's been like I'm sure there's some fucking reason I should be pissed at you anyway, goddamn. You left me for dead.

Do you think that like, cave people, like their anxiety dream was they would dream like they were clothed. They're like, oh my God, they wake up like, what's the matter? I had a dream.

I was in this $4,000 Armani tux. It was fucking horrible. It was fucking horrible. I couldn't move. I couldn't move. Oh my God. That was their stressed dreams. I was in a cubicle.

Honey, what's a cubicle? What's a cubicle? You don't want to know. It's Armani. Oh, shit. What's wrong with your truck, Tom? I don't want to know. Harmony. Oh, shit. What's wrong with your truck, Tom? I don't fucking know. But, I don't know.

We need to raise some Patreon funds so our boy Tom can get a new vehicle. We ain't giving him all the funds. Well, you know, we need new vehicles, too. Raise Patreon funds for all of us to get new vehicles. I need new art and sex toys. That's what I invest my money in. You need new sex toys like you need a hole in the guy's hand. You don't know what I got going.

You don't know what I got. You don't know what I need. You forget I have house set for you on a number of occasions. I have a fireproof safe. God damn, I'll never forget that time I house set for you at the number of occasions i have a i have a fireproof safe god damn i'll never forget that time my house sat for you at the old house on cramp creek somebody was saying the other day what do you mean what happened uh nothing it's just creepy as hell and there's guns everywhere yeah yeah i definitely had like a fling one time. And when we went into my bedroom, he started nervously laughing and said, are those antiques?

And I didn't know what he was talking about. And I was like, what? And he like looked over at the guns on the wall. I was like, what do you mean? He's like, those don't work, do they? And I was like, what are you talking about? Why would I have guns that don't work? They're not loaded. That's what you're talking about. Is that I have guns that don't work? They're not loaded.

That's what you're talking about. Is that what you mean? Turns out he had never shot a gun. I should have just asked him to leave at that point. The things we do. You should have taken advantage of that situation. What do you mean? Just go shoot a gun with him.

I tried to work it out, but it wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth fooling with. Because I couldn't just shoot him in my backyard at the time. I took him four-wheeling. He had never been on a four-wheeler either. And I took him four-wheeling and he acted like a little bitch about that. So, it's just... You're trying to get it in with Tanya. Just know that you gotta

run the gauntlet of masculinity. you don't you do not but he didn't have to comply i mean you could just be down for a good time how about that yeah like he had long hair and he was just like oh my hair's getting tangled i feel like like if somebody was trying to uh trying to get on you tanyaa, it'd be like if they were like not masculine enough, you'd kick them out, but then like

if they ventured this way, you would be like, you know, like, oh, you need to check your toxic masculinity. Yeah. There'd just be no pleasing you. You just have to hit

the right thread just to... Just gotta hit the right... Not true. That's so true. Thread that needle. Yeah, thread the needle in. Oh, shit.

So I was telling Tom earlier today, one of our friends, I told her I would use absolutely no signifiers in the event that her boss has actually heard this and got her in trouble. But one of our good friends of the show is leading a facilitating a leadership conference right now at a university. And she sent me this scenario that like a group is supposed to work on. I thought it was pretty funny.

Wait, is this like a team building activity? Yeah, it's like a team. It's like a team building activity. I thought it was pretty funny. Wait, is this like a team building activity or some shit? It's like a team building activity. I love this. Just right off the bat, I'm going to tell you the name of the activity. It's a little dated. It's called the Mandarin. The man?

The Mandarin. Oh, the Mandarin. Like Chinese. It's dated? That's what you're calling it? Dated? Racist Racist dated Okay This is a different time I guess

Created by a white dude Well the actual things in this Will show how dated it is Not just the racist part about it Anyways Carry on Okay alright here we go Not just the racist part about it. Anyways. Carry on. Okay. All right.

Here we start. All right. Here we go. Let me see. Let me see. Facilitator will begin by explaining that this activity deals with living out one's values in a difficult situation. He or she will then tell participants that they will be read a scenario, and they must discuss the pros and cons of each decision and come to a consensus about how they will act.

In order for consensus to be reached, everyone in the group must agree to the decision there's no voting or majority rule consensus does not mean everyone agrees that this is the best decision but instead means that each person feels that they have heard had their opinion heard by the group and is prepared to move forward with the decision it sounds like jury duty that's what i brought you all here for today actually scenario one here we go all right a candle flickers for the next 30 minutes its flame is connected to the universe in a very unique way the fate of the world is connected to the flame because of the way the stars are aligned if the candle flame is extinguished earth will enjoy 200 years of peace and prosperity the flame is also connected to a life, one life. Far away in Asia lives a man, a Mandarin.

The man is a farmer who lives a quiet life in the countryside. He enjoys his quiet life and works hard to provide for his family. What the Mandarin doesn't know is that his life is connected to the candle's flame. If the flame dies, so will the Mandarin. You must now make a choice to either blow out the candle or not. If you blow out the candle, Earth will have 200 years of peace and prosperity, but the mandarin will die. Now you must open the floor for discussion.

What is the point of this? We're going to find out some things about ourselves we don't like today, aren't we? That's the point of the exercise. That's the point you're supposed to learn something about your... This is this is like the time okay remember the first time we did the murder mystery yeah and at the end you all were you all were literally like was this to try to reveal to all of us what kind of liars we are and like some kind of deep truth yeah this was like a deep right i'll go ahead and kick us off here, guys. I want to follow the example of my Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus,

and I'm going to save the Mandarin. You're going to save the Mandarin? Because you know how in the parable, like, he left the flock to go bring the one back? I think Earth's pretty well adjusted to war and pestilence, disease. Might as well save the guy. Okay. You say save him? I'll save him.

What do you say Well my angle is that I don't believe That earth is gonna experience 200 years of peace And prosperity Yeah I think that's horse shit Who's gonna stop the earth

From reneging on that deal Yeah I just I don't buy it I'm being sold A fucking snake oil here Uh huh Which I've bought before

But not this time Right right So I know the outcome The herbalist To me fucking snake oil here, which I've bought before, but not this time. Right, right. So I know the outcome of this. The herbless tomatoes. Yeah, I ate those goddamn tomatoes. One, not again. That's what we, we should have saved those, the shit tomatoes, to throw at JD.

Yeah, well, it's not too late. It's pretty easy to procure shit and make tomatoes. As it turns out, we probably produce eight pounds between us a day. You too. Yeah, four. You too with your IBS.

Right, right. Depends what day it is. Right. Well, I've already gone, so I've already, I already know the outcome of this, but just for the sake of argument, I'm gonna go with peace and prosperity.

I'm going to decide to not kill the Mandarin. To kill the Mandarin. I'm sorry. I'm going to kill the Mandarin, and I'm going to go with peace and prosperity. But sounds like, as a group, we're going with keep the Mandarin alive. So when she sent it to me, she didn't include all of the next part of this, but I know what it is enough for memory, I think. Have you done this before?

No, she's telling me about it. So what happens now is that the outcome two, is that the scenario two, is that the Mandarin is actually a communist. scenario too is that the mandarin is actually a communist the mandarin goes on to um to to basically organize the countryside for like a communist sort of like revolution a communist sort of type government what do you do do do you um do now now what do you do Is this round two They're just going to keep adding in info about the Mandarin Right Which shows how dated it is

That's really an example That's really the example It shows how dated it is Because it's got this whole commie red baiting Scare thing to it Like it's supposed to be It's supposed to scare you But the man's a communist So now everyone's like kill him scare thing to it like it's supposed to be it's supposed to scare you and the funny part of the

man's a communist so now so now everyone's like kill him he's gonna organize the countryside are you kidding me what's the hang up which is what i well what i said i thought you were pitching this stuff because we're like oh well fuck it yeah we're saving the man i thought this was like no that's pick your own adventure type that's actual, it is kind of that, but that's the actual scenario. You know, I'm quite the hippie and I facilitated my fair share of shit and I've not come across this trash. Well, this is what they're teaching

in the universities these days. This is the academy. This is the academy, leadership development for 18, 19 year olds. And they straight up say he's a communist. Well, the funny, okay, so the funny part about this. You'll be seeing this in a lot of liberal social justice organizations going forward.

It's going to trickle down any time. So, well, there's actually a redeeming part of this story. Well, okay, first of all, I told her it's a trick question because peace and prosperity is communism, baby. It's a trick question. You went either way yeah you went either way but uh but in the circle that she was having this facilitating this whatever and the kid uh the kids were like overwhelmingly like keep them alive communism's great like the kids

the kids are like yeah exactly The kids are like That's great Like the old ass moderators Were like Oh yeah Yeah Oh my god This is always what happens In my sex ed classes

The kids like Literally all of them Are just like Yeah Gender is Fluid And we're all Non-binary

And the adults Are like Oh my god What the hell's going on anarchy killed the mandarin anyways i thought that was interesting because i was like send that to me we're gonna talk about that on the podcast good shit extremely good shit so is that the last edition that the man's a commie? I can't remember what it is after that, but essentially, yeah, that's pretty much it. It's supposed to throw you for a loop like, oh, guess what?

You just voted to save a communist life. Oh, my God. This is crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I guess I kind of see what it's i mean it's trying to like sort of make you see the consequences of your decisions and your actions and all this but they couldn't call him a nazi or something like come on i mean right right what they're like they should make an updated version it's like and you just saved a coal magnet yeah you just saved a coal magnet. Yeah. You just saved Don Blankenship.

How do you feel? Don Blankenship is actually Chinese, and you saved him. Good God. Oh, shit. This is so bizarre. Yeah, well. The red baiting. Yeah.

The red baiting. Yeah. This reminds me of something on Twitter yesterday that sent me into a fury. You okay? Yeah, I got something on my hand. Glitter. The herpes of crafting.

Can't get rid of the shiz. Never goes away. I like this admission now. Getting glittered is not good. I maintain that that was fucking confetti. They were star shaped. Glitter is a grain.

It's like the tiniest molecule. This was confetti. We'll circle back around to that. What on Twitter? Glitter is a molecule. Confetti is, no, glitter is an atom. Confetti is a molecule.

Different. Glitter biologist over here. Yeah, galactic brain. I don't know about them crafting. My shiny crafts. Yeah, galactic brain. I know about them crafting. My shiny crafts. Well, our beloved Sarah Jones, who just was named staff writer at New Republic. Really proud of her. Ho, ho, ho.

We need to have her back on the show. Applause track. Really, yeah. Work that in. Right. An applause track there. We need to have her back on the show because we really didn't give her enough space on the mic when we had her call in. So Sarah Jones posted a New York Times op-ed by Barbie Wise.

Is that how you say it? Barbie Wise. W-E-I-S-S or something like that. I-E. Uh-huh. Okay. I before E except after C c i don't know okay but um her name is barbie too yeah but it's just dragging the women who organized the women's march on washington in the in the mud i saw that which normally you know i want that into the women's march but for what it was,

you know, pretty big deal. Got a lot of whatever. But the core organizers were like four women of color who have When Angela Davis, right? No. Was it this one? When Angela spoke. She's just kind of the celebrity.

Yeah, these are all young women who have went on to do tons of organizing. It's Bari, B-A-R-I. Okay. Whatever, Barbie. I gave her an upgrade. Yeah, you're right. You did give her an upgrade. Barbie's better.

Barbie's way better. It's called when progressives embrace hate. Yeah. Anyways, keep going. Oh, boy. As they say around here, get your waders on. Yeah, give us a rundown. I didn't read it because I saw it circulating, but I didn't read it.

Well, it's complete trash because the biggest take in it is that one of the women on July 16th, which you all know is, you all better know what July 16th is. July 16th. July 16th. Oh, for fuck's sake. Are you kidding me? Oh, God. July 16th. Oh, for fuck's sake. Are you kidding me? Oh, God. July 16th.

Garbage pick-up day? I hate you both. I don't know either. It's my birthday! Yeah, yeah. That's what I meant. Like, I knew. I hate you.

And you knew, Tom. I could tell. You knew. Parents maybe didn't know. I really didn't. I was going to say best deal day. That's July 14th. Anyway.

Anyways, I knew that. I spent your birthday with you last year in Charleston, South Carolina. We're all friends here. What's my birthday, huh? September 28th. Six. September 28th. When's my birthday?

August 8th. Anyways, continue. Yeah, I know your birthdays. I care about you. God. Jesus. What was I even fucking saying? Something about July 16th.

Okay, yeah. This is when it took a turn for the worst. They said that one of these women, they tweeted out from the official March Twitter account, happy birthday, Assata Shakur, because I share my birthday with Assata Shakur. Oh, yeah. And they went on a tirade about how fucked up it is that these women support Assata Shakur. Oh, Barbie's one of those yeah and that is why and they they they reduce asada to a fucking terrorist they call her a terrorist right in this article

and um because we we have every reason to believe the fbi of the 60s and 70s not right there's considerably yeah yeah you're right seriously um and so are trying to drag this woman down because of her association with Assata Shakur. And it just blew my mind. One, because I'm in the middle of Assata's autobiography right now. And Angela Davis in a foreword for a re-release of the autobiography, Angela Davis does a new foreword in 2000, 1999, 2000, and literally predicts this predicts that the fbi spent so much time just like defaming asada's name and making sure and like tying her to the whole black liberation movement and like making sure that anyone who supported any idea that she had is ousted.

Like they used her as a scapegoat completely. Listen, if Martin King wasn't dedicated to nonviolence, we would be talking about him like he was a terrorist. Like right now. Not us, but you know what I'm saying. And technically he just was for you know, in the media eye.

Right. But we won't get into that right now. But the whole point know what i'm saying yeah and technically he just was for you know in the media eye all right but um we won't get into that right now but um the whole point is that like this was a strategic like we we've long known that asada was strategically torn apart by the fbi right um for reasons that have nothing to do with her personal right action i mean the fbi killed fred hampton they literally murdered him in cold blood they killed zayad shakur right in front of asada right and then blamed her for a dead cop anyway whatever but um the whole point is that this was literally predicted that they put all this energy into um into into building asata up as this huge national threat. Discrediting her

and yeah. Yeah and so how easy and lazy is it to just toss as many people as you can into the boat. When progressives embrace hate. Toss them in the boat. They're all fucking cop killers. That's fucking nuts. It is crazy. It is 2017

and they're still leaning on this it lit me up so fucking bad i was just like are you completely just what yeah i mean it's been said many many places that the new york times editorial board is absolute garbage but it is absolute fucking garbage or you know the op-ed page Who they actually get to contribute to Who's screening this shit Um Libs and Shitheads and posers

Shitheads and posers Seeds and fucking stems In the goddamn New York Times editorial board Eat shit This is a long ass article And praise Asada fucking shakur while we're at it why do you need this much fucking this many words to just lump somebody in with asada shakur that's all they did i checked out barry wise uh she's pro israel yeah she's just

oh yeah she drags her down for being uh anti-zionist yeah there is is. Fuck you. Ridiculous. Fuck you, Barry. She also like basically complete, she tries to convince us this woman's not a feminist. Like tries to feminist, I don't know what you call it. Just so petty, honestly. Right, right. Just petty at best and very strategic at worst. Yeah, petty at best. Yeah, absolutely, like, intentionally malevolent at worst, I would say. But that's where we're at right now.

That is where we are in the discourse. Here we are. Here we land ourselves. And all they can muster about us is that we believe Asada Shakur deserves a good birthday. You're starting to sound like me and Tom. The discourse, goddammit. This is where we're at. I know.

Y'all have had too much. You're right. We're ready for rubbing off on you. I gotta get out of this while I've still got my wits about me. Yeah. Just log off while you still can. Assume this is my... Please accept this is my official resignation.

We're not accepting applications to fill the third seat. Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit. But I was so lit about it last time. I couldn't tell. And y'all know I was cramping, too. It was just a fucking... Yeah. These things are probably not unrelated.

Yeah. Damn, damn, damn. I like Tom's response to that. He said, don't let the patriarchy. What did you say? He said, don't give in to the patriarchy. Oh, yeah, because I needed a day off for my period. Yeah.

Yeah, we're recording a day late, FYI, because yesterday I was like, boys, I'm bleeding now. Because the patriarchy was trying to... I can't do it. I can't do it. Oh, shit. What else we got?

What else we got in the plate today? What else going on in the world? What was the... I checked. JD's still not gotten back from the show.

I'm glad I wasn't tuned in to tee off of that today. I almost, yeah. I wish y'all would have gotten there and hyped it up. Well, I mean, it's not like I'm against the idea. I like the idea. We just don't know how to debate. I just don't know how to debate. And, like, JD vance is so boring i feel like at some

point we just be like you're a bad boy you're a fucking bad boy it'll just devolve into a lot of arguing and not even arguing but just a lot of name calling on our end and then like we'll be discredited and like written about horribly and the Herald-Leader and the Curry Journal. Yeah, these children invited J.D. Vance to a debate and then they straight up threw tomatoes. One called him a Pillsbury Dough bitch. The other one

called him a pussy boy. Retainer of water. Called him a, quote, old puss-ass boy. Retainer of water. Call him a, quote, old puss-ass boy. Oh, shit. Someone referred to his dickie-do. Yeah.

He definitely got dickie-do. For sure. Well, what about the Blues Traveler? Our Blues Traveler. Oh, that was a good item. Did you see this? No. We got a Kentucky Map question.

No. We got a Kentucky map question. John Popper, you know, the guy that, you know, got that staple surgery and lost 600 pounds. Yeah. The head of Blue Trapper. The harmonica guy. Hell of a fucking harmonica player. Guy gets slayed.

Turns out that's all he's got going for him. Turns out he's also a weirdo that won't let a grudge die. I guess some guy from Woodford County was heckling him on Twitter. And like for three years, John Popper's been atting him. Literally three years. And finally,

Literally three years. Finally, John Popper has a break and puts an aerial Google Maps shot of the guy's house and like identifying details up on Twitter. He doxing on Twitter. He doxing.

Oh, shit. There's a little know-nothing in fucking Versailles. God. Listen, y'all. When John Pauper's doxing people. And we lost our minds. The simulation. And we lost our fucking minds?

The simulation, man. Shut her down. You could make that fucking shit up. Reset the modem. Not for a second. Reset the modem. What a memoir. I was doxxed by John Popper.

Yeah, that's going to be the closing song on this episode. John Popper doxxed. Yeah, he comes going to be the closing song on this episode. John Popper Docs. Yeah, he comes in with the, Hey, yeah. Why you want to give me the runaround? Just one click of the Google Earth and people will be sending things to you. Yeah, I was going to say,

that's what John Topp Piper's been tweeting. Why you trying to give me the runaround? That's one of my favorite Roseanne episodes. What is? John Popper? John Popper's on a Roseanne episode. For some reason, I didn't know that, but that makes sense. Because the whole storyline is that he's a famous musician now,

and he used to be in a band with Dan. And he comes back, and him and Dan sing on stage together and Dan and Roseanne rekindle their young love because they used to go to all these shows together. I really am a big Roseanne fan. That's not an evergreen

episode because Blues Traveler, one hit wonders. I mean it's a massive hit but it was the only thing they did. Right, right. But did you go to the Versailles guy's Twitter? Did you go to his page? I didn't check it out. I looked him up and he literally says,

you probably are here to look up the guy who's been doxxed by John Pfeiffer. So it was great for his... Can we call this episode No Such Thing as Bad Publicity? And the guy's a sports writer. He writes about baseball or something.

Oh, shit. That is crazy. And what... I mean, I looked into it a little too much to BH, but apparently John Popper claims that he lives in his parents' basement. Damn. So it's really his parents' basement. Damn. So it's really his parents' house.

But I think that might just be him making fun of the guy. He don't like that. I probably believe more that John Popper lives in his parents' basement than this guy. Yeah. God damn, you can't even heckle a pseudo-celebrity on Twitter anymore. Can you really live off of us? Can you live the rest of your life off royalties from that one fucking shitty ass song?

Maybe, yeah. Like, okay, let's think of something else. The Barenaked Ladies. They're probably still eating off one week. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know all kinds of people who can do that whole thing. What was the name of that song that Michael Jackson sang the chorus for? Rockwell. Rockwell. I always feel

like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy was a one-hit wonder, but the funny thing is he didn't even really, like Michael Jackson made that song. Well, anyways. Can anybody name a Rockwell song besides that? No, that's the only one. I couldn't even name that one.

I didn't know. You know what was so funny, though, is that I read there's an oral history about that song, and everybody at Motown thought Rockwell was this no-talent hack. He could dance and was kind of good-looking and stuff, but just a no-talent hack. But Michael Jackson was his biggest fan. He just had one super famous fan.

And Michael Jackson's like, I want to sing the chorus on your song. And Michael Jackson's uncredited in that. He is. Wow. He is. I don't even know if he's in the music video. I think he actually is.

He may be. I don't know. But you're right. He is uncredited. But Motown was shelving this record and didn't want to put it out. And Michael Jackson, because Barry Gordy's daughter was married to his brother, sort of pressured them to put it out. Oh, yeah.

Lord have mercy. pull that record back down no that's that's hot fire that's hot fire it's hot it's hot what are some other one hits that people are still just drawn we we talk about this which of course mariah carey is not a one-hit wonder but she peaks every christmas she she really she just waits all year for Christmas time to rake it in. I feel like Christina Aguilera and NSYNC

and Backstreet Boys all do that too. They wait till Christmas. A hot Christmas special. Yeah, I like the TRL babies. They make those Christmas albums every year.

Yeah. Get nostalgic and buy it. That's true, but Mariah don't even have to make a new album. She had the one song, the one Christmas song. All I want for Christmas is You.

I mean, that's all you hear on Christmas. Oh, okay, I see what you're saying. So it's her one, definitely not a one-hit wonder. Oh, yeah. I'm working on a playlist for the party tomorrow, and it's got a lot of Mariah on it for the dance party. The song is, I have heard that song so many fucking times because downtown Whitesburg, they heard that song so many fucking times because downtown Whitesburg,

they play that song every hour of every day from like December 1st to December 26th, 25th or whatever, over the speakers. I love it. I love it. I love Christmas time. That's good. I don't know.

What was the one, you almost had a psychological break. It was like Chinese water torture or something. That song they kept playing. So people that are listening, in Wattsburg, Kentucky, we have these propaganda speakers downtown that you could just feed music or messages or whatever.

The creepiest one is during Mountain Heritage, they'll play Wagner and shit, and it sounds like Third Reich Germany. It's like, this is really unsettling. And if you look outside on Bachnacht while that's playing, it even further confirms that note. They got the speakers with a Homeland Security grant, which is pretty funny.

Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. I had no idea. What do you write in that grant proposal? Like, just in case Al-Qaeda comes to us. Us, us, one us. the downtown speakers oh god we should start putting out prop like real propaganda well i'm gonna see if they'll start matt said occasionally they play

the radio they play wmt over the speakers hooban always wanted to sneak in there and put like frog sounds or like bird calls to that shit yeah he has a tape in the party van of like bird calls. Because he listens to that shit. He has a tape in the party van of like whale calls and bullshit. I used to live with him and I'd be laying in bed at night and I would hear like whale calls from his room. Like, what the fuck is going on here? Hooman is a straight up, he's a character.

It would have been funny to make like a avant-garde art film. Like playing like those bird noises through the speakers and just filming people's reactions oh my god yeah that would be um but yeah they they use them during the parade and they like yell through them who's coming down it's like lcc marching band oh yeah um but the the person who I know in downtown who had the hardest time with this was Anna. Yeah. Remember, she could not hack the speakers because they were right in her window.

She was living in your apartment at the time. Oh, she hated it. Oh, it's bad. She was so upset. It's bad. Because it does go on for like six weeks. Right after Thanksgiving. I don't mind it so much

when they put Willie Nelson's Christmas album on there. Goddamn. Yeah. You're going to listen to Perry Como so many times

before you're ready to go. Yeah. I think that's the song that broke me, shattered me psychologically. What was that? It was like one song

in particular that they played literally one song on repeat for like two days. And Terrence is like smoking cigarettes walking around israel yeah yeah it was something about israel

noel it's called Noel. Yeah, Noel. Yeah, I was definitely, I was in a bad place. That must have been during APEC takeover day. Christmas in August here on TWP. Oh, shit. Well, we got almost an hour out of here. We should probably. Hallelujah.

Okay. Sing us out, T-Tom. What do you want to hear? What's wrong with your truck? I don't know. I really do want to know. No, it won't even turn on. It just won't even, like, roll over, click.

I hate this truck's fucked up, too. There's a little glitch in the simulation. Yeah, yeah. All the old trucks are going out. Either that or we just drive very old trucks. Things age. Things age and fall apart. All at the same time.

Well. I did, I was hoping we could interview someone this week to be the new White House press secretary. The mooch. I think that'd be a good fit. Did you see where he's, he said, I will go through, I will emerge from the darkness or something like that. He said, I want to fade to dark for a little bit. I'll be back. But he just said he'd be back.

Have you all ever watched Eddie Murphy Raw? Uh-uh. You know where he's doing the bit about the racist Italian guy in the movie theater? No. He's like driving his IRO. No. He's like driving his IROC Z. He's like 5'7". You know what I mean? Is that the Mooch? Yeah, that's the Mooch.

Mooch is going to wind up assassinating President Trump. And it's going to be like he'll, like, you know, it'll happen like in Billy Madison or something. Like, President Trump will get shot in the ass and then the everybody will turn around and the

camera will zoom in up on Mooch in the rafters putting away his gun and get your fucking shine box Donnie get your fucking shine box get your fucking shine box Donnie you're done you fucking mutt

get your fucking shine box they're like stomping him out and his tongue is out of his mouth oh my god like billy bantz hey you fired me after 10 days i was breaking your balls a little bit stand up you pussy is is is is mutra made made, man? Did Trump touch a made guy? Did Trump touch a made guy? God. What if Trump gets sent for? Like, really, what if the Italian mafia kills Donald Trump because he gets sent for?

I mean, that's probably the only way we're going to get rid of him. I mean, they killed Kennedy. Let's do something called atherosclerosis interven interviews before, which is what my money's on. They killed JFK. Like, Trump will walk into a room. He'll go, Oh, no! Like, he'll know what's up.

He fired the mooch. Shoot him in the head so he can't give him an open casket. Oh, my God. Oh, shit. It's the easiest joke to make really. But it's so funny every time. Alright. Well let's wrap it.

Wrap it. Alright. Oh, once upon a midnight dearie A world with something in my head I couldn't escape the memory Of the phone call and what you said Like a game show, testing with a parting gift I could not believe my eyes Well, I saw through the thoughts Of a trusted friend

Who needs to humor me And tell me lies Yeah, humor me And tell me lies And I'll lock to and say I don't mind And as we see So shall we find

Now when the feeling Of it'll still be here But now it ought to soon re-appear Well, what will be, you and me I still can't see, maybe hope I'll leave But yeah, why you wanna keep me running around Can't you just surefire let's speed things up When all that's left is so low Thank you. Can't see it, the cowl of a nervous magician waiting in the wings Of a bad play where the heroes are right