Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 194: The Just Enough Transition

Episode Date: April 15, 2021

This one's mostly about the Just Transition. Is it Just enough for you yet??? Support us on Patreon: patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

Um, Tanya, would you say that rare, would you say that well-behaved women rarely make history? Oh God. I love a good platitude. What if you were a well-behaved woman that did make history? That's, that's unfair. This is a razor of the well-behaved women that do make history. Yeah. Is this, um, are you trying to tie all this back to uh

what's her tits saying she's a street fighter i think what terrence is saying is that there are some well-behaved women that do make history that's right i'm just saying we shouldn't forget about the well-behaved women that do make history yeah just an observation nancy nancy yeah she's street fighter she's a she's a bad who's nancy the street fighter nancy pelosi she said she would take on this this week yeah she said if those uh if those uh january January 6th crazies had got to her, they would have had a fight on their hands because she's a street fighter. Oh, my God. They're going to make a dramatization of that,

and they're going to find the hottest Italian babe, like Monica Bellucci, to play the fictionalized, dramatized version of nancy pelosi everybody's gonna be like yes yes she's gonna like leg sweep like a would-be assailant and then like do some kind of crazy karate move on dude yeah it's gonna be nancy pelosi in gal or nancy pelosi and diane feinstein played by Monica Bellucci and Gal Gadot like a Jewish and an Italian just kicking ass

in front of the Capitol on the Capitol steps. Joining arms and doing like a clothesline maneuver on like some dude from Arkansas that was there spreading the Q gospel. I had a professor in college said that and i've doubted him for a long time but it turns out a lot of what he said was validated later on by george clooney's dad of no less but he said that uh him and a friend of his were in involved in a street fight one time

and that they were riding on motorcycles and that they reached over and grabbed arms and clotheslined the guy that was trying to go after him i said did not fucking happen and he got mad at me and hissed. Oh my God. Would you say the woman who was killed at the January 5th, she was definitely not a well-behaved woman, and she made history. So she proves the maxim. That's true. Not the kind of history you want to make, obviously, ideally. What's their name?

January 5th. Well, they say there is no bad press. Woman. Died. January 5th. Do you think Trump proved that? Trump proved that there's no bad press? Yeah.

What is their name? Although, I guess he did lose eventually. Well, not according to him. Did y'all, have y'all covered this? That he's made his, he's made his comeback. Was it at CPAC or something? Yeah, well, we talked, no, I don't think we have actually. I can't even remember what day that happened.

I listened to Sunday's episode. Y'all know how bad I am at listening to episodes. And I did listen to it. And I'm so excited for Wattsburg's public transit. Thanks for plugging the Patreon. Go check out the Patreon if you want to find out the... Wattsburg's bus future. Yeah, Wattsburg's bus future.

We hired a consultant for one trillion dollars. Seven trillion. Seven trillion. My bad. Shit. Tanya's the one who's keeping keeping the books what is this lady's name that died in the capital riots oh the one who got shot yeah that's what i'm saying she's not a well-behaved yeah no no she but that's tight i and and her Twitter was like just rants. Just her ranting and raving.

That's awesome. Oh, wow. Well, so anyways, there's a few things I wanted to talk about this week. Not Trump saying Cohen to CPAC this week and and saying he i think i was like one month ago the last the last trump headline i read was he crashed a wedding at mar-a-lago and like they kind of goaded him into giving a speech and then he just got on the microphone and instead of toasting the bride was just going on about how he got screwed out of the election. Yeah. Which is the best shit in the world.

I thought he spoke. It might have been CPAC. I thought he spoke at something last week. He went off on one. Well, I saw him go off on McConnell last week. Like, he's just being ripped. Yeah. He's just being. Yeah, he ripped McConnell and he's back on.

I thought he, because the january 6th stuff i thought he had shut the fuck up about losing about actually winning the election but he's back on it he just he was just like he just took a little time out you're thinking of is the williams goldstein wedding at mar-a-lago he spoke it oh god instead of toasting the bride that now tom you know very well that he has become his own drawstring doll and there's no toast in the bride um the doll does not toast the bride no that's yeah they should have known that before they handed him a microphone he wasn't gonna yeah uh be toasting anybody.

That's what they wanted. He's only got seven lines. I think that's what they wanted. Congrats is not one of them. No. Not at all. Have you guys ever heard of the child prodigy Christian Heinrich Heineken? Cannot say I have.

Christian Heinrich Heineken. Has he got something to do with Heineken beer? No, he memorized. He could recite the Bible by the age of one. Is this the kid that died and went to heaven? Wrote a book called Heaven is Real? It's Colton Burpo. Most people can't even talk at the age of one.

He could talk in a couple months after being born, apparently. Pretty impressive clip, honestly. That's crazy. I was silent until I was 12. I also peed the bed until I was 12. That's why we can't get you to shut the fuck up. When I quit peeing the bed is when my tongue came undone and I began to

have a good joke. This show from here on out will always open up with a piece of German history from the 16th or 17th century. Christian Heinrich Heineken lived in the early 1700s so and he died by age four of celiac disease but um the earliest known case of celiac disease gluten insensitivity

or sensitivity um anyways uh so anyways that's your uh medieval german or um Anyways So anyways That's your medieval German Or Early modern period German history For you for the week Last week it was the ABC Darians We got a few things to discuss this week Right before we got on the call

Tom sent me an article. I have been trying my hardest to avoid the J.D. Vance news this week, but my man went and finally pissed off all of his fellow board members on the App Harvest board. board wait that's the board he stepped off of yeah they kicked him off i think fuck yeah i mean did y'all see the shit i sent you there is a whole trailer park organizing against app harvest in rowan county what you didn't send this this yes i did i sent it in the in the in our twitter I sent a tweet to you all in our little Twitter thing. Chat. Y'all don't pay no a bit of attention to me.

I knew you were going to say that. I literally sent you all pics of me from Dollywood. A treasure people would pay good money for. That they are paying good money for. Pics of me in Dollywood. I sent it to you for free and I get crickets. Cool. There's Tanya dollywood nothing this is premium paid content y'all get for free tanya i'll be honest with you you you flashed this and i didn't appreciate you um i did not you did it was problematic It wasn't that premium.

That's hilarious. Just like, why aren't you two one of the thousands of my adoring fans? Of my thousands of admirers. My friends can't even be like, hell yeah, you're at Dollywood. God damn it. No, I said it to you all. There is a whole trailer park being run like they are they have evicted they're trying to evict the entire trailer park so the app harvest can expand into the area

are you fucking kidding me i swear to god it's literally exactly it's a cat cafe we got a cat cafe situation brewing in our own backyard but it's so it's like a shit tomato operation taking over a trailer park which is undoubtedly as we've already documented many times in a floodplain that's what i'm saying that's what i was going to say is what they should do is be like you drive a hard bargain guys but listen buy us all new homes we'll move this way and you can have this all to yourself and then app harvest will be underwater and literally yeah first strong rain really except except they're not offering them of course any relocation fees they're not offering up

anything well why am i not surprised so yeah app harvest is uh they're they're they're making a name for themselves god damn jonathan webb is such a not even an interesting character he's a very banal character but i'm wondering how he made his matriculation from beat maker for ramel smooth bradley's very short-lived rap career to guy that worked at department of defense and now has gotten it on the ground floor of uh apparently the-dollar hydroponic tomato boom, which is really just, you know, let's get our infrastructure, the word du jour, in place for when cannabis is legalized and stuff. Is it App Harvest?

It's this guy, Patrick Madden, wealthy Lexington developer. Is App Harvest in Rowan County? It is in Moorhead. Yeah, Moorhead. Yeah, that's Rowan. Okay. Patrick Madden's a horse lawyer in Lexington. A horse lawyer?

It sounds so crazy. It's just ridiculous. Well, an equine lawyer, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I know. Yeah, I know. Don't condescend in my horse knowledge. Well, I mean, equine, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I know. Yeah, I know. Don't condescend in my horse knowledge. I know that horse means equine.

I'm aware. But, so, he got kicked off of App Harvest's board. He did. Was it for popping off about Tucker Carlson? I think it was, yes. I think it was for popping off about Tucker Carlson? I think it was, yes. I think it was for popping off about the white race. Top of the head. It was

for showing concern for white birthrights. But he did that. He did that so long ago. Anytime you pop off about the... I'm gonna go look it up right now. Let's see. Here we go. We thank Dave and JD for being early. Who's Dave? Who's Dave? off about the i'm gonna go look it up right now let's see here we go we thank dave and jd for being early who's dave who's dave

who the fuck is dave epilogarium ceo and chairman dave chin also exited the board of directors we thank dave and jd for being early investors who threw their full support into establishing app harvest as a mission focused company doing good for people and planet i mean come on if you think jd just left on his own volition you're out of your mind of course they fucking kicked him up well maybe not i don't know i who the fuck knows i mean i'm trying to see what the deal with Dave Chin is. I used to know there was a lot of Chins in Rowan County. Is that like... You got to figure out what equilibrium is. I'm trying to figure out if he's one of the Rowan County Chins. Well, look up equilibrium.

I mean, J.D., he even went... I'm on his Twitter right now. He even went so far as to draw a mean word from our friend Matt. Matt Jones. Yeah, yeah. went so far as to draw the a mean word from our friend matt yeah he he he drew the air of matt jones that's hard to do matt loves to play everybody matt's everybody's friend let's see in a post on monday twitter on twitter monday vance said states should quote raise their taxes and do whatever else is necessary to fight these goons in response to corporations who are protesting against voting restrictions. What is he talking about? I mean, dude, I've been so out of it. Is he talking about the people who have protested Georgia because of the voting laws?

I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. i think so yeah yeah he was like these people were just like really just making some noise trying to like have the right to vote and he's like no no they're goons he called yeah he literally called people who are just just want the right to vote goons goons Oh, my fucking God. App Harvest aims to have 12 facilities growing and supplying fruits and veggies by 2025. This motherfucker is obsessed with Tucker Carlson. He loves him. He does love him.

He says nobody in America is speaking out for the working man like Tucker Carlson. Both cultural and economic questions tucker poses he just said they just had an infamous sit down you know that's what they love they love a sit down a sit down with tucker and in the comments william spencer says i think everybody recognizes an extreme right-wing lunatic when they see one, and the purpose of App Harvest is giving eastern Kentuckians a hand up and a chance with something new, a brave and noble undertaking, yet expressing support for ideologues like Tucker Carlson

ruined this enterprise from the beginning. Do you see what we're working... Yeah, that's what ruined it from the beginning. Do you see what we're working with here? It's like, dude, this is really what you run into over and over. It's like anything dude, this is really what you run into over and over. It's like anything that is not coal is just axiomatically deemed progressive, enlightening, empowering, equalizing. It's just like... I don't know.

It's kind of the opposite side of that coin of like like you know like we've talked on the show a lot i think you brought it up first tennessee's about like how like jobs are well not only gendered these days but also like there's like a whole culture like all these cultural signifiers attached to them and it's like any anything to do with appalachian transition or just transition or anything like that is like ipso facto considered progressive or whatever but if you really look at the playing field everybody that's in on the ground floor of all these like i mean it's in eastern kentucky anyway everybody that's in on the ground floor of all these sort of uh you know just transition initiatives and everything are all like like pretty stark reactionary

like even locally and it's all like these recycled coal guys that just get in on the ground floor of this stuff dude it's it's okay i've got yeah yeah you're right because it's not it's not app harvest expanding it's like like they're trying to create other businesses, like tagging on to App Harvest. That's who's trying to evict the trailer park. Well, this is what's so maddening about this. I mean, this is what's so maddening about this. We've tried to articulate this over the past couple of years. If you even go back to like the fucking second episode we did, it's kind of like trying to articulate this over the past couple years. If you even go back to, like, the fucking second episode we did,

it's kind of, like, trying to figure this out. But it's taken a few years for me to really realize it, and this will probably be obvious to anybody. But, like, there are other industries here. Like, Appalachia is not, like, or Central Appalachia, Eastern Kentucky is not, like like this wasteland of unemployment. Like, there are jobs, and they're in service and healthcare, but most of the people who do those jobs are not men. And so then when you talk about just transition, what you're talking about is like...

Finding men jobs. Which is good, which, you you know that needs to happen but what they're what they mean by that is like actually actually what we need to do is preserve this guy's confidence in manhood this is men's work is or or most of the work in the region now is done is like women's work yes um and except however is what i should say work everywhere is masculine it's considered just men's work just any work is considered that men do and then welfare is feminized however if you look at the yeah you don't see any welfare kings i'm trying to change the conversation around that tom's trying to he's trying to be the first document welfare king

i'll also say this if you look at the fucking the census uh eastern kentucky has more women head of households than men women are hold like are holding all the economic power in this region but none of the political power well that's i think that's what i'm getting in here it's that and there's a lot of reasons for this you could like literally spend hours unpacking this but when they talk about just transition they do it because it allows them to not have to deal with that fact of political economy because once you dealt with it then you would have to ask well why isn't there been a change in the political system to reflect that again there's all kinds of answers for that but um for them if you can just keep moving the goalposts, then you don't have to talk about empowering any of these people. It's just like, oh, well, you're not actually doing work.

The work that you do doesn't contribute to the region in the way that coal mining did. And so it doesn't really count. So thanks, though. thanks for you know thanks for working 18 hours a day that's cool but we're gonna go try it i mean but it's stupid because like these other jobs that they get don't actually materialize nor do they pay well it really is it really is kind of like soviet Union toward the collapse bullshit jobs type stuff. You know what I mean? Were they counting?

Hey, you went and you were making $140,000 a year underground mining coal. Have you tried gardening where you can sell your spinach to Heritage Kitchen for $120 a week? That's something. But, like, the thing is, man, is the rising tide lifts all boats. So if you do this long enough and then we get all this going and this gets in place and X happens and then you go to the farmer's market and you do enough rounds on the uh peloton to make a smoothie then we're in business and appalachia is back motherfucker well part of it we're the it's the piecemeal economy

you know what i mean it's like you can't it's you can't i mean everywhere else you caught the gig economy but like we don't even have that because we don't have like DoorDash and Uber, any of that stuff. So you have to do a series of antiquated side hustles. You know what I mean? You got to sell copper. You got to sell copper. Cut grass.

Mondays and Tuesdays, you got to do this and then on the weekends you got to work the farmer's market and by god before you know it you have a you have a living wage you're only working 100 hours a week it's so goddamn stupid look it's good to have a farmer's market where i'm not knocking that but like it is like like the hope that we're like putting in this and that we're trying to like instill and you know, all these people that are without work and everything. It's like,

it's bullshit. It always has been bullshit. And it's like, I'm embarrassed that I bought into it as long as I did. Um, then again, then again, if they could come in with the jobs program create a bunch of

bullshit jobs at all hell i'll sit it i'll sit and fucking uh i'll be the the guy that charges the toll to cross the james w bates memorial pedestrian bridge for 16 an hour i'll retire doing that shit i was i was prepared to be the events coordinator at the daniel boone folk art hotel you're setting your sights too high there what you need to do is you need to pick a landmark and you're just the person that like watches that yeah yeah so like you would be like the whittaker bank like watcher and they would just pay you 15 to stand there and watch whittaker bank so that's a security job you're telling me no you would just watch the bank you wouldn't try to intervene on any potential robberies or anything you just watch you just

watch it okay all right see and then one day you'll get like me to you'll get a job where you actually get to charge a toll. Yeah. Maybe you, Tanya, you could be the bus driver when we put Justin's bus system in. Oh, okay. All right. Or I will be the stewardess. I'll bring everybody drinks and snacks.

On the bus? Give everybody vodka shooters on the goddamn pedestrian ma'am going to lklp today to get your commodities that you like little jack daniels it's the valley eagle challenge you have to you have to throw up before you get to west whitesburg no no i'll be slinging l8s and grippos i'm slinging l8s and grippos you know if you ride that bus all day you can catch you a good but you can copy a good buzz if you just stay on the damn bus for a couple hours i'll just be handing people those communion cups full of moonshine that you get at the moonshine distillery i love this idea of like but it's not like one of these

like newfangled bougie like artisanal moonshine it's just like no you just ride the bus and we just give you rock gut that somebody brought from the house it's like it's like the people's version of like whatever the fuck's going on at kentucky missonshine these days. Yeah. I think part of it is like a lot of these municipalities like their tax bases I think this like push to bring these like new jobs or whatever

is really it's not a push to bring to create jobs for working class people here. It's to bring managerial and professional and bourgeois people to these counties so that they can contribute to the county tax base. Does that make sense? This brings, yeah, because you saw what West Virginia's doing this week, what they announced?

We've got that on. Oh, we're getting to that. Hold on. We're getting to that. We've got that one on. Well, that's what you're getting at come one come all pay taxes well and i think also what it is too if you look at like said uh plutocrats that that are coming to town a lot of them are people that made their fortunes off the backs of eastern kentucky so some of that is also just like to you know like uh like a pr thing sort of almost what's fucking maddening is that they're like on this back end

trying to get people to move here to pay taxes when they have not taxed any of the corporations that have moved in here the past fucking 50 years walmart fucking none of them they literally even gave them land yeah yeah i mean i i don't know it's it's it's uh yeah you're right well i mean you could do what jim justice is trying to do and we'll talk and i know what you're referring to tom but i want to talk about this other thing that we skipped over a few weeks ago uh this is from we can't keep up with the fuckery twice a week and we still can't keep up with the fuckery knee deep in it west virginia governor wants a population boom in a disney theme park. His plan? Oh. Income tax cuts. Oh my God.

How? What? How? He says, under his plan, all tax filers would see a 60% tax cut on wages and salaries, as well as social security, unemployment, and retirement benefits. But the plan would cost the state more than a billion dollars. To account for that revenue loss, justice has proposed massive hikes on tobacco alcohol and soda taxes um most notably though the pan that motherfucker's gonna regret that soda tax you don't you don't need any special binoculars to see he's got about a six liter and they have it

um he also dreams of another win for the state one that has found its way into marketing materials six-liter and they have it. He also dreams of another win for the state, one that has found its way into marketing materials. It's a goal that Justice has referenced for years and has repeated often in rolling out his tax reform proposal. This is what it says. It's a graphic in the thing itself. It says

now close your eyes. More money in your pocket. More jobs, jobs, jobs. Higher wages. Your home value significantly increases. Your personal income tax obligation goes to zero. Population growth in West Virginia soars. Business opportunity takes off

like a rocket ship. Disney World may become a reality for West Virginia. Now open your eyes. This is our opportunity in West Virginia now. Disney World? Can I say something? They could do Disney Holler.

Bro, bro, bro. Think of where we got Disney World at. California, Florida, Paris, Disneyland. Is there any world where you could imagine disney world charleston west virginia not even south carolina no it wouldn't even be in charleston they'd fucking put it in sulfur springs or some bullshit the or white sulfur whatever it is where they've got

they're gonna put it next to the fucking resort. Yeah. I'm going to tell you what this is. It's going to be at the Greenbrier. I'm going to tell you what they've done. His motherfuckers went and sold West Virginia to Disney too. I thought he'd already sold it to China.

How much left? I know. Well, that's what I'm saying. That probably went bankrupt honestly china was probably like nah they backed out i bet being governor is so badass this is just your job he this is what he said i really really believe that there is a real chance of landing real entertainment landing you know the next disney like that's your job you can just like sit around your office and be like i let's get Disney World. That's my plan for governor.

I'm going to base my re-elect on Disney World Morgantown. Man. Oh, dear. Jim Justice. I'm going to tell you something. Jim Justice has the best job in the world. It's awesome. He really does.

He gets to get on TV and say, if you want to eat Bob Evans, go eat Bob Evans. As people are starting to drop dead by the scores. Hey, don't let nothing stop. If you want to eat Bob Evans, eat Bob Evans. He encouraged students to go do all their work if they didn't have Wi-Fi at McDonald's. Sit in the McDonald's. Sit in the McDonald's parking lot all day and do your homework.

Yeah. Jim Justice rocks. I don't care what anybody says. This is a guy that has a six-mile-long high wall at one of his mines. Like, can you imagine just a six-mile stretch of road, just all of a sudden one day, just like, just a biggest rock fall and hit a six-mile-long rock fall just taking everything. People talk about that fault line in california like what the fuck's gonna happen to that high wall that's a ticking time bomb and it's the one that's like pixelated they like painted it to look like rock think about this

think about this let's say from like walmart to like hard like Hardee's and Jenkins all covered in rubble. Goddamn. Oh my God. I don't think it's that, Tanya, but I do know which one you're referring to. It's not that one. In downtown Pikeville, the one where they covered rock with fake rock. Oh my God, I hate that. They built like little drains coming out.

There's nothing creepier than that seeing that shit seeing a fake rock wall on a coal mine i know it is bizarre i mean it literally looks 8-bit it looks like pixelated i don't know how to describe it it's like old school mario it's like a hillbilly patinkin village or something everything just artificial about this guy. I'm convinced it might even be you know a figment of our imaginations. It's not even really there. I don't think that's real.

I do wonder sometimes honestly. I do wonder. Well alright so then let's move on to the main course, the thing that we had to dine out on for the week. The feather in the cap. So this has been going around. We're talking about declining tax bases, declining populations in general, economic development.

Wonky attempts to solve these problems caused by neoliberalism with, you guessed it, more neoliberalism. You guessed it, more neoliberalism. And what takes the cake this week, what meets that criteria this week, is a program called Ascend West Virginia. Oh, my God. I didn't even see. I didn't even hear that. Oh, God. Ascend.

You didn't know that was the name. Ascend to almost heaven. It makes sense. the branding is alright yeah um so here it is it is let me pull this up on my computer

I have to look at it on my computer cause the fucking phone site just drives me insane it's impossible to navigate okay get paid twelve thousand dollars plus free outdoor recreation did they say how the how they come up with that number they actually they might um we're offering some because it's it's half of west virginia's median income interesting um so here's what it is that's a thousand dollars a month for a year here's what it is this is an offer this is an offer from uh well let me read you the offer first, and then I'll tell you who's offering you the offer. There's a reason that 50 years ago,

John Denver coined West Virginia as almost heaven in his hit song, Take Me Home, Country Roads, and we'd like to share it with you. Well, I'd also like to share with you that he actually didn't know where the fuck he was. He was in Virginia. And when he wrote that song, he wrote it about Virginia. So carry on.

Do y'all know that he died recently? Who? John Denver? John Denver, yeah. Yeah, he was getting Rocky Mountain high. Oh, my God. mountain high oh my god do you know that um do you know that uh willie nelson what was he doing yeah he's playing on the road again there's a video that comes with this i didn't watch

um the story having reached the greatest heights of business success in silicon valley and beyond that comes with this. I didn't watch. Jesus. The story. Having reached the greatest heights of business success in Silicon Valley and beyond, Brad Smith could not escape the magnetic pull of his home state. One thing became clear. West Virginia was drawing him back to the mountains that made him.

With the minds of visionaries, Brad... This is much more fun if you read it in a sort of... With the minds of visionaries, Brad... This is much more fun if you read it in a sort of... With the minds of visionaries, Brad and Alice Smith made a transformational investment in Almost Heaven that is changing the landscape of remote work forever.

A sin, West Virginia was born with the mission of sharing West Virginia's unbeatable quality of life with remote workers just like you. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Unbeatable quality of life with remote workers just like you. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Unbeatable quality of life. I got something I want to say about unbeatable quality of life. Yeah, I got a thing or two myself. It's not often.

It is not often that I echo something that I myself wrote. But I want to just read. Are you about to quote yourself? I'm about to quote something i wrote that's why you gotta fuck only because i know that's the only place i know of it where it's where it's at where it exists but um uh it's worth noting should you be tempted to close this tab thinking mansion's record doesn't apply to you that the fact that likely you me and every other american walking around have a toxic dupont produced chemical called c8 taking up residence in their tissues above a certain threshold c8 might lead to kidney cancer or it might just swell your prostate to the size of a regulation tournament legal botched ball.

When DuPont was ordered to pay $196 million in C-8-related damages in 2008, then-West Virginia Governor Manchin filed an amicus brief urging the state Supreme Court to review the judgment after conferring with the DuPont executives. And this is after years and years of spills with not only C8, but also cadmium, arsenic, and four methylcyclohexane methanol spills, among other insults to West Virginia's waterways that find themselves into the Ohio River and beyond. So guess what? West Virginia's unbeatable quality of life is actually all of our unbeatable quality of life all over the country. It all goes downstream, boys.

It all goes downstream, baby. maybe think hey next time you think about almost heaven just know that there's like some sort of teflon in your fucking kidney tissue right now because of joe mansion yeah you know what starts up there you're drinking water that's right oh man not really amazing really i mean just truly amazing to just say like straight face that you have an unbeatable quality of life in west fucking virginia west virginia has uh like a thousand hundreds of thousands of gallons of slurry impounded above elementary schools just ready ready to rupture any day they they are home to the Buffalo Creek disaster, which didn't drown 126 people. It skinned them alive because it come off the mountain that fast. Yeah, man.

It's not good. It ain't good. We don't have to imagine what it will be like with these impoundments. We know. We've seen it. So what this company is proposing, or I guess it's not really a company. I dug in. I followed the money like any good investigative reporter. I'm going to start hooking myself up.

I'm going to get a blood pressure machine and start hooking myself up during these recordings. And monitor my blood pressure. Oh dear. I've been meaning to tell you, you do look a little flush sometimes when we discuss some of the head of your topics. Well, I'll tell you, I got a facial recently and the esthetician told me I have rosacea. I had no idea. Hey, I've got that too. Gets the best of us. I'm going to watch this video.

Can't wait. We've got drone shots of mountaintops, people in the kayak, people climbing a mountain. It's a climb. Dude, listen to them. Yeah. In a world.

They really are making this sound like And move to a higher place. In a world. That offers experiences simple and pure. They really are making this sound like Jurassic Park. The climb to West Virginia begins with the promise of discovery. And ends in a place that feels like home the moment you arrive. Yeah. There are no crowds. I do. Concrete jungles.

Just rivers. Mountains. Okay. A kibble. This is a... Like the Trillbillies. Dude, that's such a funny... There's people just standing out in front of a restaurant that just says acai bowls or acai bowls or whatever on the outside. Like, where are you?

You're not in McDowell County. How do you say that? Is that acai? I don't know. It's not saying what they're doing. Hell yeah. Hell yeah, a little Imagine Dragons. A Christian band definitely.

They definitely picked a youth group band. Oh yeah, that's definitely. They couldn't spring for john denver yeah it doesn't tell you he's dead he was getting rocky mountain high okay it doesn't say in that video what they're offering what they're offering is twelve thousand dollars for you to move to west virginia it says uh as if life in West Virginia isn't prized enough, we'll actually pay you $12,000 to move here. No strings attached. Over the course of the first year in your new mountain town,

you'll receive $10,000. That's right, you'll get 10 grand just for moving here. When you fall in love with Almost Heaven, and we're sure you will, you'll receive an additional $2,000 for your second year in West Virginia. Whether you put this $12,000 towards a new car for scenic drives down our country roads or a new mountain bike is totally up to you.

It's true what they say. Money goes further in the mountains. All right, look. What this is... You haven't factored in the increased health care costs and alcoholism you will no doubt develop. This is not geared at a poor and working person. Because a poor and working person could not afford to move all their shit from... Let's say they saw this ad.

They live in Nebraska. They're like, all right, we're going to go to fucking West Virginia. They couldn't afford to move all their shit and live off just that much money. Even in a place like West Virginia where the cost of living is pretty low. They don't want more poor people. No, exactly. This is a signing bonus for a young professional. That's exactly what it is.

And that's why it's geared towards people who are remote workers. That's what they're calling them in this. It's like we have essential workers and now we have remote workers. You know what I'm saying? We want people who already have a job. You know what's going to happen. Don't come here and take our jobs. Bring your job here.

You're going to get a bunch of fucking lanyard dicks from Shepherdstown, the D.C. suburbs part of West Virginia, are going to move from D.C. into just that little sliver of west virginia and they're like harper's ferry and stuff yeah and they're gonna be like all right give me my 12k and then they're just gonna like just praise them for their grit and determination for that huge move what's wild there west virginia is not even the first state to do this really hawaii hawaii did this i think alaska too Hawaii. Hawaii did this.

I think Alaska, too. Why would Hawaii do that? Social programming. It says social programming on here. We have friends who applied to move to Hawaii under one of these very programs. To help you acclimate to your new home... I mean, I don't know who those traders are. To help you acclimate to your new home among the hills,

we have several events up our sleeve. Enjoy your own country roads tour. An outdoor-focused welcome trip completely on us. Here you'll get to explore West Virginia's iconic landmarks and discover a few of our hidden gems. Make lasting connections with your new

neighbors and their families. All while discovering the best of West Virginia. Dude, I can't even fucking like well here's okay i have a series of questions um one is there a limit like do they have what's the budget on this how many people are getting 12 g's to move there i looked it up if you just moved can you get it because my friend just moved home to West Virginia, and I messaged them. I was like, hey, maybe you can figure out how to get this 12 Gs.

No retroactive. Sorry. That's not how this works. Dude, the guy that fucking... Have y'all looked at the guy that's doing this? Okay, let's look at the master behind the... Yes, let's belittle his physical appearance. Hey, Terrence, do share screen.

Drop a pin, bro. How do you share screen here? Down at the bottom, it says share screen. It's green. I want to share my screen. Okay, is it working? Can you see it? No.

Desktop one, share. Come on. I got to open up my privacy settings ah forget it okay anyways um let's let's meet the let's meet the master behind this uh master plan this is my favorite type of investor like oh this is my favorite i love reading these on these On these Like just transition things Following decades of Silicon Valley success leading Brands like into its turbo

Tax to the top One thing became clear to Brad D. Smith His heart never left his home It was West Virginia This motherfucker is the reason why every year I have to pay like an extra $200 just so a software program will do my fucking tax. Because they lobby every year so that the government can't do the taxes for you. It's like, bro, I got news for you. You owe me 12 grand.

More than that. With clear eyes and a deep love for the mountains that made him, Brad and his wife Alice... Oh, no, no, no, no. He did not say... He did not use the old Friday night lights. Oh, dear. Oh, my God. We want you to experience work-life balance in a brand new way.

Through community, purpose, and the new outdoors, you can bring your remote work to in the mountains of West Virginia. Okay, there's a few things. We could go down a few paths here. So, you asked Tanya, how are they paying with this? By the way, Brad D. Smith, an absolute ghoulish-looking figure. I have to look him up here. An absolute ghoulish-looking figure, my friends.

Brad D. Smith, American businessman. He's on the boards of Intuit, Nordstrom, and SurveyMonkey. Bro, he looks straight terrifying. Drop a link in the chat, bitch. Let me see. Tonya, I don't say this about very many people. You really don't want to see this guy. Here, okay.

That's the program overview. He's at the top. this guy here okay that's the program overview he's at the top um he kind of looks like um ben shapiro's uh sister's husband and then the gun girl's gay husband like i put him in the pantheon of like obviously gay husbands i didn't want to say it bro oh there are featured towns lewis of course lewisburg i told you that's where the fucking resort's at i'll go ahead and say this bro where's that where y'all looking at this where's the i sent you the link just now i'll go ahead and tell you this bro i'm a goddamn astronaut if brad d sm Smith doesn't prefer the company of men. Well,

that's nothing to riff on. I'm not trying to out nobody. I'm just calling balls and strikes here. Look, okay. Let's look at what they do here. Outdoor recreation asset enhancement and development. Anytime someone comes to your town telling you it's time to

map some assets, we're going to do some asset mapping, grab your Kalashnikov. Get the fuck out. Get the fuck out. That's what. Run. Go round up a posse of some of your best friends

in their ATVs. Tie them to the back of a horse. Oh, man. Fueled by a $6 million investment, we will continue to create user-friendly experiences, reduce barriers to access, and increase participation for our trails, waterways, and beyond. So, to do all this, there's a very dystopian tab at the top of this page called community readiness what community readiness is is it shows you how to um it shows you how to make your community ready to receive the remote workers so you have to meet like a certain uh you know a couple of criteria you have to you have to meet some uh some checks and boxes on the criteria you can also be a local ambassador uh i'm sorry i'm

still hung up on brad d smith i'm still hung up on him like being involved and into it and fucking fleecing me for the last ten guys. Literally, former Silicon Valley CEO. This man looks like blood. Like he has got child's blood coursing through his veins. Does he not? He actually looks like he doesn't have enough blood. This man has killed someone to receive their life blood.

has killed someone to receive their life blood uh see i mean obviously because like i said as you can tell he does not have enough of it he was very he looks like a vampire okay look look at those cheekbones i'm gonna zoom in on this i ain't got good eyes no more listen i have curated a gorgeous collection of eyeglasses only to realize that i'm fairly certain i need a stronger prescription so jokes on me about that either time how do i zoom in oh this is so fucking brainless it's so fucking bleak this man's wearing mascara and lipstick absolutely well yeah definitely but i mean that's just he has no color that's just show business but uh okay i had to look into the community readiness tab because i had to know what what do you have to do to to make your community um attractive to remote workers here are top here are the top five community needs to successfully attract and retain remote workers.

Finally, somebody put it all together for us. A mind for innovation and backbone for perseverance. Did you already say this? No, I didn't. Terrence. He does have a backbone. Who has a backbone blown out by perseverance. I make it here. With a backbone blown out by Mr. Fear.

Clear eyes and a blown out backbone. I cannot process. He really is the CEO of fucking QuickBooks. You may tell you what he really looks like. He really looks like he pastors a megachurch. Yep, yep, absolutely. I mean, he really does look like a vampire. love vampires this man is dead in the eyes so he's lived for 300 years yeah yeah look at the average a look at the average remote okay so this is what

just in case you're just now tuning in you're just now tuning in um in case you also what's this broad's name what is this name is this alice that's alice yeah have you ever seen that spelling before that's his loving wife elise that's alice she's the founder of her own meditation business called better to meditate so and she also sits on the board of the new opportunity school for women in kentucky this is kind of interesting god i've been thinking that explains some shit this is kind of interesting because you guys remember like and this and people still say this all the time like this isn't um this has not gone away um but i feel like ran paul was on this for a little while. But I remember him saying, and other people say this from time to time, that the only way to really grapple with what's happening in places like

Eastern Kentucky and West Virginia in the Rust Belt is to just pay people to leave. Well, this is interesting because now you kind of really, with this, this just kind of makes it blatantly clear, like what they mean by that is that they would gladly exchange, like ethnically cleanse, basically. I don't know what other word, that's not the right word, not ethnically cleanse,

but like class cleanse, like basically just completely get all of the dirty, unwashed masses out of the state and repopulate it with you know the professional people the people with jobs the people start the ascent to shepherd town they literally this is wild so look this is what this is how it's marketed it says remote work is on the rise 47 percent of workers are or will have the ability to work remotely in the future. 15.9 million people have moved since the pandemic began.

39% of urban dwellers said the COVID-19 crisis has prompted them to consider leaving for less crowded places. Here's the West Virginia advantage. Uncrowded places. Largest mountain town has less than 50 000 residents world-class outdoor recreation more than 1.5 million public acres with more than 1500 hiking trails and the greatest density of whitewater affordability cost of living is 16 below national average low cost of doing business ranked as sixth most affordable state to do business here's a look at the average remote worker that they want to attract to the state their average their annual salary is ninety thousand dollars a year um oh my

god yeah you're right this is just like this is just like ethnic cleansing of the poor and unwashed i basically that's what they're trying to pay people the people they like with the politic the creative class this is pretty much like the creative class thing but people are still doing it they're still fucking go for it um but here are the five community needs the top five community needs that your community needs to successfully attract and retain remote workers number one essential assets gotta have those essential assets dog um essential assets are foundational factors that serve as the building blocks of strong remote worker friendly communities i'm gonna fucking lose my mind dude oh my god this is like oh my god communities looking to

attract remote workers must have both reliable broadband and a wide array of housing options including both rentals and forever homes it's like the people that live there now it's like nah it's not they don't need broadband but the people we move here, they're going to need it. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's like, yeah, if we're going to shake this economy, if we have to have some people living in the state that are deserving of basic services, and that's where you, the much-ballyhoo PMC, come in. That's right. Number two, outdoor assets.

It's no secret that West Virginia is known for its four seasons of outdoor recreation. From hiking trails and whitewater runs to ski slopes and ATVs, the popularity and desire to be near such assets has continued to increase. No longer tied to desks or corporate headquarters, people are moving to places that provide wide open spaces with plenty of room to roam. A.K.A. no black people. No people of color. There is white supremacist code words to this.

Room to roam. Wide open spaces. Wide open spaces. I mean, this is like that. That boulder thing. That boulder, yeah, the Denver woman. Mm-hmm. If you love West Virginia...

Listen, listen. Stop with the goddamn John Denver slander. The man's dead, okay? He died. He died because he got too Rocky Mountain high. He died because he got too Rocky Mountain high. But one thing's for sure, he's 100% male. I don't know, y'all.

I can't process much more of this. The third thing, your community is going to go down, Tanya. Put Conan in some sugar. Well, it's going down the gullet. I can't handle much more. God damn. The third thing your community needs, community vibrancy. While remote workers today may be migrating away from major metropolitan areas, they are seeking a higher quality of life that still provides the modern conveniences they have come to know and enjoy from diversity of cuisine to the availability

of local boutiques and art galleries fabulous gay nightlife diversity of to pepperoni rolls come get your pepperoni rolls Oh my god Listen One This is just If Kentucky did this I would Absolutely go ballistic So I can only imagine What West Virginians

Who have been begging the state to do anything Actually to support West Virginians who have been begging the state to do anything actually to support West Virginians and it's obvious from this website they're targeting DC metro area they want people to move from DC right because it's like that's the if you know it's just a day's drive and the Charleston airport has a direct flight toc i don't know about morgantown oh fuck and all this meanwhile there i like how there's nothing in this um in their language uh about what the legislature of west virginia is doing right now to literally strip health care from kids and just ostracize people who live there even further this is it like what's the future of tourist economies this is the future of tourist economy like you're not even like this is this is

this is the next level tourism? You convince people to move here? Oh, yeah. Don't just come here on weekends and spend your money. Just come on. Just come on. Listen. Listen.

Look, this is... We got everything in the city. We got Bob Evans. We got... You know, we got Starbucks. Is this considered a government program? Well, yeah, it kind of is. Because Jim Justice wrote part of the thing for this.

And he's on the board or whatever. And it looks like the ARC has provided funds. Our good buddies at the AML, Abandoned Mindslands, have provided funds. No fucking way. I bet Power Plus plan or some shit is on here. I mean, these are all. This is what people have been lobbying for reclaim for. This is what they wanted out of the Reclaim Act.

Look, this is the future, okay? This is the future of Appalachia. What it is, declining infrastructure. Here's the thing. It's declining civil infrastructure because there will, declining civil infrastructure like roads and water system, like Martin County or just the road outside of your fucking street, but an increase exponentially in carceral infrastructure.

And so if you can convince... If they can't root us out, they're going to lock us up, and then they're going to populate our beautiful... It's like that thing, like our buddy Jack had that thing with Judah Shept, who we had on the show a couple years ago. They had that statistic from their thing about jails in east kentucky that said in 113 years every person in the in at the current rate of incarceration in person will be in jail and it's right and that's the that's the logic here it's like just lock up all the poor people in jail attract all of the

professional and creative class people so that they can be your new middle class tax base. Let them go out and hike and fucking have fun on the trails in the whitewater. Continue to pay their taxes. That doesn't go to civil infrastructure. It just goes to carceral infrastructure. And in the meantime, the conservatives take over more and more of the political system. Like, that's where we're going, man. It's just...

It's true. I mean, over 20 U.S. states have introduced just, like, disgusting anti-trans legislation. But a particular piece of the West Virginia legislation is that teachers who don't out trans students like if they suspect a student is trans and they don't out them they can be held they can go to jail they can be fine they can like have all like they could literally lose their job a second that's this legislation is so ill so insane also who's training who's what the fuck what the fuck does that even mean so like they're just they're just gonna start demonizing hunting children yeah literally hunting every little femme boy and

mass girl out there that they think just aren't presenting their whoever is not uh whoever is not um practicing or playing or performing their gender uh appropriately whatever gender they decide they should be performing like if you can't win an oscar for your gender performance you could be you could be put in jail yeah well when yeah that's where that's where we're headed it's like this is the new wedge issue where they can just convince how moral say like this is how they can say how moral they are because they ain't getting anywhere with abortion and gay marriage right right right yeah doing nothing nothing for west virginians well the west virginia housing development fund is putting money into this not into helping poor people can't you see she's ready to blow top

i can't take anymore i really can't okay here here's one of the frequently asked questions how long i quote a frequently asked question how long do i have to live in west what's the bare minimum i can live i can live in that goddamn coal smudge reprobate of a place. Oh, fuck. I can't. I still get my prize. I can't. How long until I have to tap out?

Until I can, before I can tap out. Hey, what if a bunch of us, like, like, uh, PMC, but hillbillies just moved up there and took their 12K, and it's like just a lateral move for us oh fuck it was tough but you know we we first we showed some perseverance perseverance oh fuck man and some backbone some perseverance and some backbone we're going to have shirt we're going to get airbrush shirts that have the uh ascent west virginia logo on it said i got my back blown out in shepherdstown 2021 through 2023 and on the back it's gonna say we're out of here after we pull our term this may very well be trying to attract rich white men, gay men.

White gay men have a lot of wealth. Outdoor recreation. Wow, that's a pretty disgusting stereotype. Wow. Well, I'm going to tell you. These two also, Alice and Brad, they also started something. Let's see if I can find it. Yes.

A sham of a marriage. Would you stop making fun of this crypto fucking psycho? Cause you think he's gay? Where is this thing about the fucking... They established this thing at West Virginia University called the Brad and Alice Smith Economic Development. Yeah. Okay. How is a sand West Virginia funded?

Did you find it's made yeah it's made possible by a generous 25 million dollar gift from brad and alice smith brad and alice they founded the wet the wvu outdoor economic development collaborative which is doing this this is not even government this is literally like they just how did these people get 25 million dollars okay let me say something let me say something real quick you know how all this goddamn hand-wringing about you know bernie madoff died today you know which honestly bernie madoff i thought bernie madoff died seven years ago i really did but truly me too regardless brother bernie passed today and ever about all the liberal hand-wringing about all the lives he's ruined by uh skimming a little off the top from

a fucking charity it's like these ghouls are way worse than anything bernie madoff ever did they're fucking like like looting the federal coffers to do little fucking pet projects that give their buddies money. And we're mad at a guy that skimmed a little off the top in something that is like a glorified scheme anyway, in charity. Yeah, he just didn't do it the right way, you know? Yeah. I will say this about Bernie Madoff, too. He had excellent taste in watches and footwear.

I will say this about Bernie Madoff, too. He had excellent taste in watches and footwear. I wish I could so badly find that fucking... That Office of Economic Development thing. Oh, here it is. Outdoor Economic Development. Here it is. The Brad and Alice Smith Outdoor Economic Development Collaborative at the West Virginia

University. This is literally on the West Virginia University website. Right now, you can only move to Morgantown. That's the only eligible move right now. These people have literally dropped $25 million to

buy their neighbors, to buy some new neighbors. They don't like the trailer park next door and they're literally trying to i just want to enter i just want to email every fucking idiot on this thing oh yeah let's just start spamming them just go fuck yourself for schwarz goes no listen i'm no i'm gonna inquire and say me and my six wives and our 27 children and 87 dogs are hoping to uh move and we're just wondering how many of uh we have seven people in our polyamorous relationship and we're just wondering how many of us individually would get the $12,000. Yeah, how does that work? Every person in the household gets it?

Yeah, do me and all six of my wives get $12,000? Because we can build a pretty sweet studio and make a lot of money on that. One of the resources they offer is outdoor asset development. I love to have my outdoor assets developed. I love them. I love to have my outdoor assets developed. I love them. I love to have them. Blow it out. Blow it out your assets.

Come map my asset, Brad. God. Economic development is so, it's just riddled with innuendo. Like all these jobs. dean of the smith outdoor economic development collaborative director director of the smith outdoor economic assistant vice president of the smith all of these are fucking made up jobs none of these people do work they sit in a fucking office i don't work either but that's how i know so they've got a bullshit job yeah they've

got 25 to 30 mil and they're going to spend a million of that divvying out these 12 grand grants and the other 20 some mil is going to be spent paying themselves program quarter director of science behind the sport at the smith outdoor outdoor marketing and communications manager i want to be i want to be a professional asset mapper buddy there's you could do it um wow you could do it. Wow.

Well, there you go. That's the West Virginia. Community playbook. I downloaded the community playbook, and to download it, I had to give them my fucking email address. So I'm going to get spam from them, obviously. I'm so proud of you.

Oh, you can sign up. Here's what locals could do. They can be local ambassadors. Well, that's what I was saying earlier. You can make your community ready for the remote workers. You can lube your community up. Dilate your community for the remote workers. We got to get these communities shovel ready.

We got to get them shovel ready. Transportation. Transportation. Abandoned mine lands. Reclamation pilot program. Abandoned Mine Lands. Reclamation Pilot Program. Shit.

Wow. For additional information... Wow. You can go make your own judgment. Call about a cent West Virginia. My fucking brain is completely fried by this. It's just so fucking... I can't take anymore. You can go make your own judgment call about a St. West Virginia Empire visiting. My fucking brain is completely fried by this. It's just so fucking stupid. It's so fucking stupid.

It's so fucking offensive. This is, I mean like. You guys just hate everything. I don't know why you can't get on board with getting your back blown out in Shepherd's Town. I do hate everything. I have so much pure hate in my heart. Just raging. Well, I hope Jim Justice gets his dream of Disney World, though. I do, too.

I'd give anything to have Jim see that through. Yeah, like, that's what he wants. And, like, that's what he dreams about all day in his office, just fucking twiddling his thumbs. He's like, you know what, guys? I'm surprised he didn't say Dollywood, honestly. Well, it's the same thing. Very own Dollywood. I'm imagining some, like,

Steamboat Willie comes out, you know, out of the mine and says, I think you got the black one now. It's just like, it's like the most perverted Disney world you've ever seen. You know what I mean? Like, everything.

Well, we've already got a taste of that in Benham. That that what's it called that underground mine they attraction they've got up in benham yeah party portal 31 in harlan county they got disney style animatronics in their fucking donkeys and everything and it's bizarre well doctor i want i want to do a mine i want to do a mine that's like a creation museum but it mines and like you go underground and you like say uh dinosaurs never actually existed and then like you just show how like god all this coal around us god made that 2 000 years ago in ago in his workshop in the North Pole. Well, they get at that a little bit in the Portal 31.

At the end, there's a little movie you watch when you get to the end of the track on the man trip. But it actually, it says, I think it says the world is like older. I think it actually admits to evolution. Wow. So you went to the progressive mines. Well, that's the local university. I think it's mostly their money. They had to uphold

some level. You went to the liberal mines. Portal 31 is the liberal mines. Yeah, Portal 31 is the liberal mines. Whew! Alright, I gotta get off here and eat. I'm about to die and I want to kill myself after reading this. liberal minds. Whew! Alright, I gotta get off here and eat. I'm about to die and I want to kill myself after reading this.

Pep is gonna go ahead and take the toaster to the hot tub with me. Pepperoni Ghoul's got my heart, my cholesterol up. Uh-huh. So I go to Appalachian Regional Hospital. See, So I go to Appalachian Regional Hospital Under the healthcare tab Under frequently asked questions

They are They said that Beckley Beckley's ARH Is some of the best healthcare in the world Golly I moved here last year And they gave me $12,000 And now I owe it in hospital bills hey golly i moved here last year and they gave me twelve thousand dollars and now i owe it in hospital bills

all right i got a date dryer uh in a okay alright alright let's get let's leave let's thanks for recording

thanks for doing your job thanks for being with us thanks thanks thank you um go check us out

on the patreon p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com slash trailbilly Workers Party. Maybe one day we can have enough money to pay you to move here. I'll pay you not to move here. Let's take $12,000 and pay somebody to move to Eastern Kentucky.

Just a random fan. Just a randomly selected fan. Just one. Just one. That's a randomly selected fan. Just one. That's all we can afford today with your generous contribution. That's right. Also, just give us money. I feel so physically poor.

Help me out. Give me something to look forward to. Okay. That's a tall one. Alright. Well, thanks's a tall one. All right. Well, thanks for listening, everybody. Go apply for Ascend West Virginia and go sign up for Trill Billy's Patreon.

And we'll see you next time.