Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 196: Battle Of The Bores

Episode Date: April 29, 2021

In this episode we explore the imminent armed conflict between introverts and extroverts. Support future scientific research like this at our Patreon: patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

If you had the option to live past the age of 115, would you take it? Are we talking about a meaningful bump in quality of life, or are we talking about just your standard 115-year-old experience? Could you imagine you'd be like Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Feinstein times three at 115? Like that level of, you know what I mean? Well, if you were fine physically and mentally, would you do it? I don't know. I don't think so.

If I'm fine mentally and physically, I'll go to 604. I don't care. Oh, no. Do you feel fine physically and mentally right now, Tom? Hell no. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. There's no evidence that that even exists,

honestly. I don't buy it. Maybe you settle into it, though. Longevity or feeling good physically and mentally? Feeling good physically and mentally. Now, Tony's like, no, I buy that people could live to be 120. I just don't think they're having fun. I absolutely believe that misery could continue for many, many eons. I believe that.

But also, it's just like, it's boring. Did you ever get into that Aubrey de Grey guy? I don't think so. That dude from England that was studying, like, super longevity? Aubrey de Grey. He was just trying to, he was kind of like, he's an interesting character. A bit of an eccentric. He was just like, you know, not that there's anything wrong with this.

Before people call me ageist, I'm not saying anything. But he was married to a woman that was like 30 years, 40 years older than him. And he was trying to figure out how to prevent cell death. That was the key to it. There's no reason we can't live forever if we just prevent the death of ourselves i mean isn't what's elon musk doing that's harvesting children's blood that's a different thing no isn't he trying to figure out how to cyborg himself well there's all that upload your consciousness into you know into yeah

or whatever my thing about that is is that like the human experience is very visceral so like even if you could do that which i don't buy like what's the point like you're you're not going to be experiencing it you know i mean it's very narcissistic it's like oh listen you all need my speech and thought patterns and whatever whatever long after i'm gone i won't be around to experience life but you all should continue to experience life with me that's what i was about to say if i had the money and option to live on consciously as a computer or something, I think I would buy a different consciousness. Not my, I don't want, I'd rather not have all my memories.

So you would just be someone else. Yeah, why not? In a different body. Sure. Yeah, in a computer body. Why not? That's, I would do that because that sounds interesting. This I feel like, this is a dead end. It raises an interesting question of what the self actually is.

I mean, did you guys see that take going around like a couple weeks ago that was like, it's problematic if you're thinking of someone else while you're masturbating without their consent? of someone else while you're masturbating without their consent that's that's like you could probably curb a lot just by like punting okay okay well what do you do about wet dreams how do you control that what are you supposed to call somebody up and say hey i'm sorry but i definitely fucked you last night in my sleep bummer some people do do that it's the it's the weakest the lamest type of pickup or flirting is like hey you were in my dream last night it's like yeah okay all right you're like you're indicting all of us everybody's done it's like well yeah

where's my entry where's my entry level to this without sounding too much like a creed? That's right. Well, the reason I asked the aging question is there's this long article in the New York Times magazine. How long can we live? There's a big debate over what is the upper limits of human life um it's it it's got some interesting statistics in it i mean like the number of super centenarians is that what you call them like the people who live over 100 has gone up like exponentially in the last 20 or 30 years um but most people don't live past 115 i think like the oldest woman is 100 was 122 years old but um um my life expectancy i think currently is like 67

yeah for a leisure county woman yeah yeah i i thought this is interesting though so there's like you know there's a big debate there's some scientists that say like theoretically people could live forever in the right conditions and then there's other scientists like this guy s j olshansky he's a expert on longevity at the University of Illinois in Chicago. He is so thoroughly convinced that humans, that there is not a single human alive today that'll live over 150. He's, and I just want to quote from this article, he's so thoroughly convinced of this position that he has backed it up with an investment that may eventually grow to a sizable fortune for him and his heirs. In 2000, Stephen Estad, a biologist now at the University of Alabama, Birmingham, told Scientific American, the first 150-year-old person is probably alive

right now. When Olshansky disagreed, the two struck up a friendly bet. Each put $150 in an investment fund and signed a contract stipulating that the winner or his descendants would claim the returns in 2150 um and i thought this was kind of interesting because is it kind of interesting uh plot for a movie i had this is definitely some top sexton shit to place a bet beyond the grave yeah imagine that you are the olshansky guy and you're like and you are starting to zero in on 150 you know you're turning 142 143 144 you're like fuck like if lose this bet, I will not only lose my credibility as a scientist, but my entire family will lose

millions and billions of dollars in investments. Because, like, what they did is he invested his funds in gold and later in Tesla. He estimates the value will be well over $1 billion when it's time to collect 2150 um this could be an interesting plot for a movie like the two old men as they're nearing 150 they both have their own incentives for wanting to be the person to live to 150 okay so i have a clarifying question the bet is that they themselves will live to 150 or that anyone?

Just anyone. But I thought it would be funny if it was one of them. Yeah. Yeah, what if you just, like, said, I'll do you one better, and that 150-year-old is going to be me? So long after you're dead, buddy boy, I'll be over here just collecting my bread. I'll tell you this i think uh

i mean how would you even live to be 115 in this country with like that's what i say like especially if you come from like an industrial place like ours you know what i mean like and this is so ironic at a time when we are edging in on the ability to end a global pandemic and we are just not going to because everyone's not going to get vaccinated and we are literally denying developing countries the vaccine so it's just going to circle back it's just going to keep coming back like it's going to mutate a million more times like there's no end in sight so it's just such an ironic conversation right now when we are straight up refusing to live man it's like this is what the u.s this is what the u.s does though you go you throw your little right wing tantrum about taxes and all

this stuff and whatever slavery and then like the french come and help back you up then you just leave them high and dry when it's their turn you know what i mean so we just have a demonstrated history of people throwing us a bone for our own evil ends and then when it comes time like yeah man we kind of got our own thing going on over here so right um i thought this was funny though so like you know there's all kinds of ethical debates about whether we should even pursue longevity like you know extending life um in this article there's some good arguments for and against it But this is a really funny argument against it Lingering multitudes of super seniors

Some experts add Would stifle new generations And impede social progress There is wisdom to the evolutionary process Of letting the older generation disappear Said Paul Root Volp The director of the Center for Ethics At Emory University

If the World War I generation and World War II generation and perhaps you know the Civil War generation were still alive do you really think we would have civil rights in this country? Gay marriage I thought that was interesting that is an interesting take

it's like if Franklin Pierce were still around today you know if Millard Fillmore and the Pierce were still around today. You know? If Millard Fillmore and the boys were still, you know? Right. That is interesting. It's, yeah, you know, it's, but also, like, our relationship to, like, time is so weird anyway. Like, I just saw that, you you know like we've talked about the show before like

uh uh john tyler former president has had until late last year had two grandsons still alive really yeah john tyler john tyler was born in like the 1700s and well i just saw a tweet that said, let me see if I can get this right. Thomas Jefferson was alive when Harriet Tubman was born. And Ronald Reagan was alive when Harriet Tubman died. I see. And that's how short our timeline is right now. Right.

Yeah. That's wild. But imagine if you were alive today and you said, yeah, my grandfather was born in 1752. That shit. You would have to be like 120, though. Yeah, they were both

in their late 90s. I guess John Tyler had some... I don't know. I guess he had some kids when he was in his late 60s or something. Uh-huh. And then they lived a really long time. It seems unlikely, but it's like... Yeah.

Imagine living in four centuries like there's just four centuries that separates like the time you live in now with when your grandfather was born good god i like the idea though of um squaring off in public debate uh over something like gay marriage with like a civil war veteran I mean that's really what the discourse really truly needs yeah you have like the Lincoln Douglas debates but about like the culture wars yeah well you you know and like there's all this like right-wingers love to talk about you know the wissification of men and how like the greatest generation they stormed the beaches of normandy and they wouldn't put up with any of this

it's like they wouldn't be using pronouns right i hate to break this to to them but like if we're talking about antiquity in the ancient world there was a whole hell of a lot more gay sex going on back in like when the classics were written. Oh, yeah. You know, like, the right-wingers loved to read the classics. Mm-hmm. All those guys were sucking dick, too, dog. Yeah. Like...

Yeah, it's like all your faves that wrote, you know, whatever, Marcus Aurelius and all them, they were all, you know, they all had their courtesans, but were all, you know, they all had their courtesans, but also, you know, dabbled in a little bit of everything. I'd love to have

a courtesan. I don't know what that means. Or a courtier. Maybe that's what... A courtier is like a secretary, I guess. A courtesan would be like a... A mistress. A concubine. Concubine, yeah, yeah. Right.

What do you want from me? What? I already gave you turkey. That's your problem, Tony. He's all bunged up from the turkey should we wait it out what do we need what's the protocol what do we need to do here i don't know i'm just waiting to see what happens he's 16 years old he's just he's essentially john John Tyler's age.

Dog years. Yeah, let me try to take him out. God damn, hold on. It's the fucking Mike and Mike show. 8 o'clock, Monday mornings. And then there's a clip of them, like, harassing a McDonald's employee or something like that? Yeah.

Well, I'll tell you what I did this morning. I went to McDonald's and they forgot to give me my fucking tater tots and I told her. I said, and then they play like some kind of cruel joke on somebody that makes $7 an hour, you know what I mean? Right, right. And then there's like clown noises and stuff like noise honks and

yeah what y'all talking about radio talk radio yeah like it's mike and mike uh-huh god i watched a little bit of the view this morning and megan mccain went on the fucking craziest rant about how she's the token conservative the only one the only conservative in all media in all mainstream media wow just her and she takes quite the bullet for her representing all of conservative america prayers up for megan man i i'll tell you what i today i've been depressed and you know i was trying to buy a car and got turned down at the dealership for financing for not walking walk of shame out of there no no i mean fortunately i did that part over the phone no and it just

it just struck me, like, how... Man, it's just like so, I don't know, it's just like so dehumanizing to, like, not be rich in this country. Like, even if you're just like, I mean, like, I do fine, you know what I mean? I'm, like, comparatively wealthy to most, you know what I mean? But, like, it is, it it's just like I don't know man it's just such fucking anyway I'm just bitching about how hard it is

to buy things and navigate this world but then I go to the group chat of my buddies from college and they're like all pissing and moaning about the specter of Biden's 40 40 capital gains tax which i i don't think is going to happen but it's like bro you got motherfuckers out here fucking paying taxes on on goddamn unemployment which is 60 or whatever it is of what they were

making and y'all are pissing and moaning because you made 280 grand and not 400 grand like suck the biggest fucking dick that exists yeah truly i think it's capital gains tax might happen um i mean if it comes down to that and like an income tax uh yeah but yeah yeah that we we will win that fight i i was i heard on the radio though this morning that his tax plan is just to tax the top 0.3 percent yeah 0.3 percent it was like 15 000 american families it was a very small number but it was like the richest wait till they form a party to represent themselves they're gonna hire to hire a lawyer. So he's finally made the calculation like, oh, nobody likes these people. They don't even like themselves. Right. But, you know, I mean, I hate to parrot the temporarily embarrassed millionaire trope.

I hate to parrot the temporarily embarrassed millionaire trope, but the fact that you've got a bunch of upper-middle-class guys thinking the 40% capital gains tax is going to affect them is telling about how this shit infects people's minds and makes everything so goddamn hard. Yeah. Well, on the Tennessee News this morning, there was a whole segment about how Biden is going to limit everyone's

meat intake yeah i i want so i want to talk a little bit about that um outrage i've got some things i want to talk about on the show today um so let's start off with there, I feel like in the last couple days, last week or so, there's kind of been like a, I don't want to call it a deluge, but there's been a slow trickle. It's been very steady and gradual of think pieces about the pandemic coming to an end. I think it's been a slow trickle because people just aren't really quite sure what's what right now. trickle because people just aren't really quite sure what's what right now um but the best one i saw and we're gonna we're gonna do a little we're gonna do a little exercise here we haven't done a fun little exercise on the trail billies in a long time so i hope you're ready i hope you're ready to get out of your comfort zone and I don't have one of those anymore. Out the window.

I can't find refuge anywhere. Ain't been comfortable in years. No, I'm only comfortable in my hot tub. Now, yeah, we're going to do a little exercise. So, one of these pieces recently came out in the atlantic it was from three writers um julie beck amanda moore and katherine wu so um i'm not familiar with anything any of these writers except Amanda Mule, and

just because she's one of those writers that like, writes the most inane, like, bourgeois stuff, like, here's what kind of earrings you're gonna wanna wear on your third date on Zoom, or something, you know what I mean? It's just like, really just

inane shit like that. Um, and so i i saw this article circulating last night it says the coming conflict between introverts and extroverts when the social floodgates open not everyone will want to use their newfound freedom in the same way. So I clicked on this article thinking like, oh, yeah, there's some good content in here, mostly because right off the bat, the framing is completely wrong. There's no such thing as like people who are either extroverts or introverts, like it's already a farce, but maybe I'll get some good content out of it. But it wasn't even an article. It wasn't even an article.

It wasn't even like an investigative piece or a written piece. It was just a conversation between three people talking about how like random and quirky and interesting they are. So I thought, hey, we're three people too. We can do that. Three people, random, random interesting and quirky we can we can apply their methodology to explore the divide between introverts and extroverts and how it might but uh explode into the social sphere in the time of post-covid so yeah so yeah like i said we're gonna do a little exercise. I thought I would use their methodology and their approach. So I'm going to put the question to you guys.

Where would you be on a scale from negative 10 to positive 10, with zero being a true neutral, negative 10 being the far end of the spectrum for an introvert, and a positive 10 being the far other side of the spectrum for an extrovert. And then, like I said, 0 is true neutral. So just to start off, I'll go ahead and start off here. I'd say that I'm probably like a negative one and I say that because the way they define it here is are you energized or drained by being around other people or are you energized or drained by being by yourself and I mean if I had to be honest I spend most of my time by myself. I'm fine being by myself.

I'm not necessarily drained around other people, but it doesn't energize me either. I'm mostly energized when I'm by myself. But I'm not a hard introvert, as you would say. So I'm going to go negative one. That's what I'm going to say. So I'll put it to you guys where you fall on this totally arbitrary and absurd spectrum that does not in any ways is not representative of human behavior okay i love this this is like a cosmo quiz yes it is it's basically a cosmo quiz absolutely love i did one two weeks ago go ahead tanya i'm thinking i'm thinking about it uh i think I'm probably a plus three, plus four-ish.

What do y'all think? I would probably say you're like a plus eight. What? I'd put you at a plus 17. You literally cannot be alone. I have lived alone many times. I currently live alone. You have wives, concubines, rich men, wise men, traveling many seas and over deserts to come pay peonage to you.

I'm glad that's what you think. You're not living alone. Yes, you technically live alone, but you're never alone. He is right. But when's the last time you spent a weekend from friday to monday completely alone by yourself yeah exactly i've done that i've done yard work no no no no no no no no no no when is the last time you spent i spent more than more than three days alone literally plenty of times this winter okay so yeah because yeah

but i just want to point out we were in the middle of a global pandemic and it was the winter time and nobody can get on your heel i'm talking about all things being equal when was the last time i spent more time alone than y'all realize obviously okay um i'll create you that not there's not also there's nothing wrong with this i'm just yeah we're just we're just busting your balls a little bit well i'll tell you a year maybe five years ago i would have said plus nine okay but now i i do people wear me out and i do need alone time more and more all the time i feel it and i and i definitely energize myself alone more than i used to i have moved on this imaginary spectrum so you're moving back this way you would say yeah i'm moving i'm moving toward intro i can testify to this i'd

say that's accurate so you said plus four i'll go plus five i'll meet you in the middle fine plus five all right because i also talk on the phone tom you talk on the phone constantly i talk on the phone a lot truly alone but i'm like meditating more and shit you know i'm trying oh yeah okay all right i just you know I have a lot of friends I've already made a list of my birthday invites And it's more than I can technically invite You should never apologize for having friends I wasn't

It isn't an inquisition I was just saying that you're You're a social butterfly I happen to be someone that people love the company of Right There's nothing wrong with that You should apologize. So, yeah, I'll say plus five.

And I will guess that Tom's right in between Terrence and I. I think I split the difference between you two. Yeah, I think that, too. Because I like my alone time. I mean, I grew up in a house with older sisters, so I kind of value sort of my alone time. I mean, I grew up in a house with older sisters, so I kind of value sort of my alone time, but I also like people too. Then you're saying positive two.

So where are you at? Where are you at? I'm positive five. Terrence is negative one. Negative one. So I'm probably like a positive two or something. Right. Okay, I'll buy that. The reason this is kind of funny is because, as you pointed out, Tanya, Negative one. Negative one. So I'm probably like a positive two or something. Right. Okay.

How about that? The reason this is kind of funny is because, as you pointed out, Tanya, this is like a cosmopolitan type thing, but it's in the Atlantic, which is like ostensibly like a politics. I can't wait for us to look at our birth charts together. I've been waiting for this day for years. Alright, so what they do is they go down the list and like I said, we're trying to explore

the dichotomy between introvert and extrovert and how it's been challenged by the pandemic. Like I said, I opened this expecting a well thought out, maybe interesting maybe a good hate read type article. But it's in the Atlantic. I thought out maybe interesting maybe a good hate read type article. But it's in the Atlantic I thought you said it was in the New York Times.

It's in the Atlantic. The New York Times thing was the longevity thing from earlier. This is in the Atlantic. And you know to be totally candid this is why I love these writers. This is why I love this writer because it's like they write about stuff that would be more at home in this writer because it's like they write about stuff that

would be more at home in cosmo but it's like in the atlantic so they have to put a political sheen on it which is i love that that's my favorite type of you know article right now cosmo article that has a political sheen i love that shit yeah so um so what they do to explore that dichotomy is they ask a series of questions. I'm going to ask you a series of questions, and then we'll have a lightning round at the end. Ooh, I love this. This keeps getting better and better. So, yeah, so I kept their questions intact, but I made up my own lightning round questions,

basically off of their model, okay? So we'll do the first question here. I admire this prep work, Terrence. This is the most fun Tanya's had on the show in years. Yeah. I was actually going to come on today and tell y'all I quit, but I'm back. This is going to bite you at least another month.

Oh, God. So the questions are kind of serious. And so, you know, don't assume that you have to answer them seriously. These people, like I said, they're quirky and they're interesting and they're random. And so channel that and keep in mind the number you, you know, listed on the spectrum. First question. Do you think the pandemic has changed where you fall along that scale we just did?

Or has it made you reassess your number at all? In other words, has the pandemic made you more or less of an introvert or extrovert? And if so, why? Hmm. Hmm. And if so, why? I'll say this. I miss people a lot more than I thought I would. Are we doing a scale on this?

No, if you want to. Or is this like the essay portion this is the essay anecdotal yeah this is the anecdotal portion um because like i said there's been kind of a trickle lately of articles that are like what's happening to our relationships and social life now that we are moving away from the pandemic and we can start looking back on what happened so this the the objective of this is to figure out like how are we changed how is our social behavior changed like are you more of an introvert or are you more of an extrovert now are you trying to have a white uh like a totally like hedonistic hedonistic summer trying to fuck do a lot of drugs or are you like nah

the pandemic made me realize i like being alone and i'm gonna stay inside with my mask on for the next 20 years ah time you want to go ahead first again uh well um i have i've i miss travel more than people i think i miss experiences um and i guess i'm not sure how to parse this out but i miss like you know being around a few people like I just miss individual like individuals but I am terrified to be in crowds again like I just don't want to be in a crowd and I like think that over the past year I have realized I've never really enjoyed being in crowds it's just something I pushed myself to do and I just like the thought of being in a crowded bar

sounds so terrible and and like Tonya, they just announced the Railbird Festival in Lexington. Tonya Tucker's going to play. I would love to see her. But I cannot go to a fucking music festival. Even outside? Yeah, I just don't think I could do it. It sounds so awful. What about it?

Is it, like, the potential for spreading germs? Or is it just that a lot of people are around and you would just prefer not to be around a lot of people? Yeah, I think it is like an overstimulation. Okay. For me and Terrence, we're survivors of Planet Rude 2014 and the Mad Max-like scene in the shower stalls that gave me a rash that still hasn't subsided, to be honest with you. So Rail Bird sounds like goddamn Ivy Leagues compared to that fucking shit show. Well, someone else literally said that. They were like, well, it's not like camp and it's not like Bonnaroo.

Well, I got news for you. I've never been to Bonnaroo and I never fucking will. I remember when y'all went and I was like, it ain't happening. We changed that weekend yeah can you imagine i was asked to go with mountain justice multiple years in a row and i was like there's nothing hell nor heaven could drag me did you ever meet bobby kennedy jr yeah i did how was that um i mean i didn't chit chat with him but i'll tell you who i did meet and love was um daryl hannah i met her and chatted her up right before she got arrested at an action one time in west virginia she's a mountaintop removal activist yeah look at that stuff with

daryl hannah i did wow such a fucking babe and so sweet and nice like you just wouldn't believe oh god such a crush oh i would do a number of things for and to daryl hannah whatever she wanted i would be her lap dog okay no idea if that required going into a crowd to do what she wanted you wouldn't do it yeah i would do it i would do it in a crowd for her for daryl had no idea dana here uh daryl hannah is that her name daryl hannah yeah yeah was a devout follower of getting the goods she got she yeah she got the goods she got cuffed and stuffed there was like that that science guy was there that day too they uh wow no when you say the science guy yeah you're right i'm sorry that was my bad uh he was a scientist okay something bill mckibben maybe or yeah is he a scientist? Yeah, he was a scientist. Yeah, that sounds right. I think that was actually the launch of 350.org, maybe.

It was at that elementary school where there was – we did an action at an elementary school where there was just hundreds of thousands of gallons of sludge above it just waiting to shower down on us. Just imagining Bill Nye getting cuffed and stuffed and shouting out the tribes' names that owned that land before. If that slurry pond would have broke while we were there, I would have made a beeline for Daryl Hannah to rescue her. I would have been running her out of there. Interesting. So maybe that's a...

I just took a note of that. That will come back up in the lighting. Okay, okay. Me, for my part, I think maybe I became a little more extroverted. I'd like to go, I would like nothing more than to just be an anonymous face in the crowd. You know, this podcast fame has really gotten to me. I need to just go to a concert with 30,000 people, maybe Elton John or something,

Paul Simon. Just be a face in the crowd, man. Speaking of which, remember when we saw Elton John at Bonnaroo? Yeah, I lit up the Rocket Man. Oh. Well, I will say in response to that that I have texted the words

and said them multiple times in the last month or two i just want to flirt with someone who's never listened to drill billies yeah um well so anyway so tom uh do you have an answer to that? I think you provided your answer. Yeah, I think at first I was like, hell yeah, the world's slowing down. This is playing right into my hands. And now it's like I wish things would kind of pick up just a jab. Was that why you tried to buy a car? No, I just tried to buy a car because I've invested $6,000 in fixing a car that I paid $2,500 for

about six years ago. Tom is S10 gang. He's all about the S10 gang. Okay, that's totally fine. Your answers will be duly noted and submitted to the proper scientific authorities.

We'll move on to question to bill nye bill nye will receive it was a bill bill nye comma science guy um question two what did you most i dude i fucking what i'm trying to get at here is just to just to show you how absolutely banal this is really and like these people make probably two hundred thousand dollars a year give or take what did you most hate about pre-pandemic life and what did you most love how much time do you have on the hate part yeah uh this is like a sub question of the first one honestly it's not there's nothing that about it that's really even um you know speaks to any kind of profound anything it's just like did you like going to bars did you like going to clubs i did i like dancing in public

i guess i maybe would like that i mean i should caveat i've been to dollywood twice already this year i got a season pass but i went on mondays hardly anybody there and it's all outdoor so felt pretty good i'm telling you the the feeling of being of like actual joy on a roller coaster did something for me. It was a reset. Yeah. Did you think about all those particles flying back in your face? Nah.

Nope. Didn't. But I will say that two months before the pandemic, I quit full-time nonprofit work right before the pandemic I quit um full-time non-profit work right before the pandemic and I had been working for non-profits for 10 years straight and it had nearly killed me because they expect you to work about 60 70 hour weeks uh for a pittance um and my health was degraded in such so many ways I'm still picking up the pieces of my health care and so that would be my biggest hate hate hate hate hate hate hate my uh former non-profit boss of mine just got named to the white house executive council so uh to be honest i if you if you were to uh me, I could not tell you what his job duties were. I never saw him work.

I don't know. Isn't it kind of funny how close three dipshits have been to the halls of power, just like through weird, random, tacit, sort of tenuous connection? I'll tell you one thing I liked about pre-pandemic life. I'll tell you one thing I liked about pre-pandemic life. There were characters and story arcs that actually had like pathos and entertainment. For example, when's the last time we had like a Jordan Peterson type character? You remember Jordan Peterson, Tanya?

That name's not familiar to you? No. That's like a 2018 era character. You know the guy that debated Zizek and he did the weird meat diet with his daughter and told men aged 18 to 35 they should make their bed up. Meanwhile, his house looks like a goddamn pigsty. I have no recollection of any of this. Well, later, spoilers, later he got brain damage in Russia and something happened. He's never been heard from again, actually.

That's what I'm saying. Look at what they took from us. this i did love drag shows and you know making out with people i didn't know that well yeah yeah um well then this would be a good way to jump to the next question if you were the boss of everything and as i was writing this down i was like tanya will like this question this is a thought experiment Tanya has done before. If you were the girl boss of everything. If you're the girl boss of everything. I can't believe this is in the Atlantic.

It's amazing. I love it. Incredible. This is perfect for an airport magazine. An airport magazine that purports to be like you know serious politics right right um yeah if you were the girl boss of everything how would you design life as we emerge from the pandemic so i'll give you an example here in whitesburg they are currently you know they're not giving us a livable income or public transit but they are giving us a kfc for the covid age and so i think by that they mean

no more common dining area they'll run the food out to you in your car so that maybe that's a good example like is so they're not building a dining room at all even for they're like they're going They'll run the food out to you in your car. So maybe that's a good example. So they're not building a dining room at all? They're going to pretend every day is COVID going forward? I think they are, but I think it's like you will be encouraged to not eat there, I think. Wow. So I remember when the pandemic first started, I remember thinking like, oh, well, maybe this will have some kind of impact in how we arrange, you know, life

and communal life, more importantly. Maybe it'll have an impact on that. But it looks like what happened instead is we just dug our heels in and exacerbated the problems as they already were were and so now we're even more alienated and whatever but let's just say that that you could turn that around in a minute tanya if you were the girl boss say this if if i were a betting girl boss i would have put i would have bet that we would get universal health care out of a pandemic I actually thought that at one point that's how naive I think I did

do probably um so yeah I think when the world health organization said the number one thing you can do to curb this pandemic is universal health care and we withdrew from the world health organization in response um I don't think my mind's been right since honestly that was a pretty big turning point for me i'm gonna be honest so i think health care would be my first girl boss i may wave my magic wand um and we just have unlimited free health care whatever we want right okay um whatever we need boob jobs whatever get it yeah okay fillers i'll take a bbl i'm first in line for a bbl what's a bbl a brazilian butt lift they put your belly fat into your ass oh nice i don't really have fat neither of those where i don't know what

i would do yeah i don't know maybe they'd take your tongue out i don't know what would happen for you i don't think you i don't think you're a good candidate for a bbl but you've seen many bbls most fat asses are the result of a bbl oh nice um but uh yeah so definitely that um you know cancel all debt that'd be great not not all student cancel all debt. That'd be great. Not all student debt. All debt. Okay.

Because the reason Thomas couldn't get a car is because he has a bad credit score, which is not real. Right. Yeah, I get the point. I'm a broke motherfucker, okay? I mean, that's my guess. I've been a prince and i've been a pauper this was a credit score situation buddy i'll co-sign for you i got a good one i don't want you to do that there are two there are two magic ones what you got tom

me i mean that's my answers are probably more on the banal side you know what i mean it's like um give everybody money give everybody housing like all those like things that we talk about all the time but here's what i would do i would i'd teach everybody transcendental meditation but without the sort of like oh you you gotta pay all this money. You'd be free for everybody. Okay, alright. And I'd kind of get rid of some of the weird orientalism

tied to it. But, the technique itself, worthwhile, that's what I'd do. It goes to everybody. Oh, it would be like to snap my fingers and, yeah, you're're right like take over all second and third homes you only get one fucking house people pick your house and then all the other houses are up for grabs go pick your house we could do that right now it'd be so easy

just go just go go to a house that's empty and live in it right everybody well you say that and the last person that did that got shot so exactly even in letcher county yeah i know but yeah even no so that means no landlord you can only own one fucking house go ahead no that's a good wish i I mean, end landlords and end police. I mean, that's rudimentary. Not breaking any ground there. Another thing everybody should experience, I think, is Ouija's Italian ice. There's a lot of little you know i mean a lot of simple pleasures everybody deserves to have you know turn turn all prisons into spas so

you menthol cigarettes isn't on that list is that true it's trying is biden trying to end menthol cigarettes so it does seem like somebody asked biden this same question and biden said we're going to stop people have to eat less meat they can't smoke menthols anymore i guess man that is true in the sense that i saw i did read a washington post article that said that they were considering it. That feels vaguely racist. Like in the same way that the NBA dress code was some person's caricature of how black people dress or something like that. Dude, listen to this. Actually, it's the opposite, Tom.

It's literally the opposite. Okay. This is in the washington post the biden administration is expected to announce this week that it will propose a ban on menthol cigarettes an action urgently sought by tobacco opponents in civil rights groups that say african americans have been disproportionately hurt by the industry's aggressive targeting of black communities so it menthols more deadly than cops To black people My question is like

Are menthols more like dangerous Than like any other kind of cigarette I think they I think they are yeah Cause you know they like Crystallize your lungs Or whatever I don't fucking know I didn't know that.

But, Tanya, that is the correct question. Are menthol cigarettes more dangerous to black people than cops? I doubt it. Especially if you consider not only the deaths, but the disappearances into prisons. Yeah, I agree with you on this. They are literally going to ban menthol cigarettes as an act of anti-racism than just defunding the police and instead of giving black people health care there's so many other things that could happen here yeah this feels like it's somehow like the racist version of like uh bloomberg's like 44 ounce coke band

well yeah yeah it's yeah let's let's make the let's let's make life as miserable as possible and then take the only uh one you know the only cheap relief people have a little menthol smoke here and there a A little stress relief. Is there a saw behind one of you? Yeah, I'm sorry. There's something across the yard here. He's going to town on something. Dogs, saws.

So, yes, my initial thought is, I mean, that's literally the best way to alienate a lot of people i mean like why the fuck would you do that yeah people who he claims is the reason he's in office right yep um that is wild just taking the the the small number of crutches we have left it's just a weird infantilization too like oh you can't you can't like uh are menthols worse than regular cigarettes i mean am i just a dumbass i just asked that oh i don't are they i've always heard that they are but i mean i think it's because what it does to the lungs um not only does it you know create cancerous can it create cancerous cells it can also cause maybe it can cause greater emphysema because it like crystallizes the bronchioles in the lungs or whatever this really is wild we're not banning guns we're banning menthol cigarettes

that was my first thought like it's like in california plastic bags are illegal yeah yeah there's a number of different uh yeah that's interesting there's a number of things infinitely more dead well i mean you know i mean i'm, you know, I'm not taking a pro-smoking stance or anything like that. But it's like, you know, I don't know. Jesus. Question. Well, anyways. It's just wild to me that they are banning menthol cigarettes and claiming it is to curb racism.

Yes, it is. That's what we got now. This is un-fucking-believable. That is like, that is like, and this is like, I mean, this is like, you could say the same about, like, It's like, I mean, it's just like, you could say the same about, like, why did Appalachian Hill build this? But that's, like, three steps away from, like, banning Mountain Dew for, you know what I mean? Or whatever, like, sort of caricaturish, like, cultural thing that, like,

you people associate with, like, a community or whatever. That is, yeah. It's weird. associate with like a community or whatever that is yeah it's weird it's the attacking a problem through a sort of consumer culture angle personal responsibility you know what i mean yeah we've talked about this it's like an abdication of their duties in terms of like universal health care uh defunding the police all those sorts of Instead, it's like we're going to go after the products they buy because if they can't buy it, then they'll just be more happy and healthy in the end.

That's like a net positive. Right. Right. And also we curbed racism. They're not banning the Confederate flag or the Nazi symbol or even racist rhetoric Just the things That those

Right Or guns Let's move on to Let's move on to our next question Well you didn't say What your girl boss Wand would do My girl boss wand

I did I would ban mythos Well, you didn't say what your girl boss wand would do. My girl boss wand? I did. I would ban mythos. Okay. Terrence's position is right in line with the Biden administration. Yes, that's what I... I've pulled them, not to the left, just to my very idiosyncratic, unique political position. Got it. Question number four what do you think the norm should be as we're getting back into socializing specifically around how we make plans in whether

and how we rekindle relationships that got backburnered during the pandemic i'm going to tell you as a deviant myself uh i'm i'm against all norms okay that's a cop out no you gotta dig deeper than that i'm against all norms i mean i don't really understand the question because i guess the question is probably like is it gonna be okay to be late to a party now and it's like you know it's like well let me ask you what sort of like behavior did you learn in quarantine that you're going to use as it like as like a way to get out of something you don't want to do that's the real question here that is really the question here. That is really the question here. I mean... Well, I wish there was a norm that people

didn't feel like they had to lie to just say no. That'd be a nice norm. Who's playing that damn video? What video? Of the Beverly Hillbillies. You must be hearing it in your own background. Are you playing a Beverly Hillbillies video?

What the hell? Have you been hacked? Oh, no. I'm so stupid. Sorry, we got another little easter egg like that because i forgot that i plugged in that little clip at the end of the last episode and i just deleted the clip of me and aaron and then put i'm recording on top of that i see sorry about that little easter egg so i was i thought that perhaps there was some tie-in between beverly hillbillies and social norms at social events bring your own rocking chair what it comes down to is you're right tanya it comes down to like

what are you you know how are you going? Are you going to be more truthful about not wanting to do things? Or are you just going to, you know, basically do what Tom does, which is, yeah, man, I'll be there. And then like not come or never respond to messages. Never respond to a text. Completely fall off the face of the earth I've been convinced Tom hated me At least once a week for our entire friendship

Oh my god The whole time Oh my god That's a thought you can't stomach Somebody doesn't want to come Put gold frankincense and myrrh at your face Oh I got plenty of haters And they can all kiss my fat ass. I did a tarot reading for some listeners.

Shout out to them. Last week, I think it was. And they said that they are really overwhelmed because coming out of the pandemic, now that they're vaccinated, they have events they are committed to for the next like 10 weekends. They have no free weekends and they're like feeling really overwhelmed and don't want to go and are trying to think up lies to tell. And I was like, or you could just say no. You don't have to make up lies to tell people. Yeah.

They're just like every weekend they have stuff they're supposed to go to weddings and shit. And I'm like, just say no. Well well because i'll tell you why that is because in april 2020 oh yeah we need to do this when the pandemic's over yeah and let's make plans and then april 2021 it comes time to pay the piper and you're like i was just kind of saying that, you know? Yeah. A lot of people. Go ahead, I'm sorry. No, you go ahead.

My guys in the college group chat, they're like, Vegas, Vegas. I'm like, one, you're all embarrassing, but two, I thought we were just kind of flapping gums about, you know, just past the time. Paul, ain't you banned from Vegas? No, they ran me out once, but I think the statute of limitations passed. Oh, yeah. I mean, they'd still let Trump into the town, so.

The pandemic did result, I feel like, in a maybe surge of plans that were made that were never intended to actually come true. You know what I'm saying? You know when you're shit-faced at a bar or at a party with your friends on a Friday night, and maybe you're a little coked up too. You're like, man, we gotta do this. Like, oh man, this is so crazy. We gotta do this. And you both know that that will never happen. But it sounds good in the moment.

That was what people were doing for a whole year. But it'll never actually come to fruition. Right. So maybe we could see kind of some sort of societal problems because as people's plans are simultaneously backed up and they've also made a lot of plans they never intended to fulfill well i'm gonna stop you right there terrence because i am certainly getting a case of champagne for my birthday and having it showered over my body

okay who's doing like you won the goddamn NBA finals. Brute. $3 bottles of champagne. Yeah, you're getting, not Dom Perignon or, you know, any of those. You're getting like straight. I'm getting whatever I can get cheaper because I'm getting a whole case of it. Yeah. Okay. So here's the big question,

the one that justified this entire 4,000-word interminable article, and that was behind the headline itself. This is what they're aiming for here. Do you think that there might be any conflicts between introverts and extroverts and how they want to approach post-pandemic life any conflict between introverts and extroverts it's so banal just saying it out loud makes me want to die. Conflict is constant. Conflict is the spice of life. Right.

And it's inevitable. People who avoid conflict are psychopaths. Interesting take. If you think you can go through life without conflict, you are crazier than me. Let me tell you what I've experienced a little bit of. I'll be vulnerable for a second. I've never been vulnerable on this show before, but I'll be vulnerable right now. I have experienced, I've had the experience of feeling, because I have a certain amount

of social anxiety which is strange because I think I'm fairly gifted socially but it feels like work to me it just constantly feels like work I've had the experience of that I think they might be alluding to with this

of feeling a little bit jealous of everybody that's like oh i'm gonna go like you know i'm gonna go have sex with like 30 strangers and like spitting everybody's mouth that i see and like just like bathing particles like tanya's bathing in cheap champagne and feeling like god damn i wish i could get there but i just ain't ready for it and that's a hard thing to kind of articulate to people because you don't want to feel like um like you're getting left behind or that you're sort of um weird or don't or a killjoy or anything like that but it is tough well i mean that one of the most prominent social phenomenon phenomena of the

last 10 years is fomo fear of missing out you know and this pandemic kind of did something interesting with that i mean because with the pandemic you are always missing out but you're not missing out on anything so it creates this weird philosophical or sort of metaphysical conundrum it's like you have a fear of missing out on something that isn't happening it's very interesting right also that's the other side of that too that i think is i also think that a lot of people that say they're doing this this i think that's overblown you know what i mean yeah definitely like everybody that thinks you're like like the wild co-cattled party person like you're not that fucking wild you know what i mean right it's like right everybody likes having fun you know what i

mean it's right it boils down to having the right crew right place right atmosphere whatever whatever but uh but yeah i think i think it's like when people are like oh this is gonna be the summer of sucking and fucking and all that stuff it's like when when was it when was summer never not the summer of right you know what i mean like hot girl summer yeah it's like sleep it's like you know like people talk about sleep debt like you can't like bank sleep and like erase your sleep debt right you know what i mean like you can't like erase your like fucking like sex debt by just like going it's like you know you're just having like probably the same amount of sex you would have any other summer. In other words. Yeah. Well, I've always heard that your 30s are FOMO, fear of missing out, but your 40s are, like, fear of being included. So maybe we're just speeding that up.

I think that's kind of what they're getting out here with this conflict between introverts and extroverts. Like, I mean, again, it's so fucking banal. introverts and extroverts like i mean again it's so fucking banal it's just like i mean again these people probably get paid over a hundred thousand dollars a year to write this kind of shit but i think kind of what they're getting at it's like during the pandemic it was kind of seen as this like big social injury that if you were someone who liked to go out to a bar or go to shows that like your whole world came crumbling down everything ended but if you were the opposite if you were someone who just stayed inside all the time and didn't really have much of a social life then your life was more or less the same and like this is what has replaced like class analysis class consciousness

it's just like oh yeah the pandemic didn't affect people based on what their class was it affected them based on like what their personal pathologies and psychology is yeah yeah class consciousness has been supplanted by the infp types right that's exactly right so the more it's it's honestly which we have um described here the conflict is going to be internally in each of us that's where the conflict's going to lie that's what they're basically saying yeah it's basically saying that like there were no great uh class antagonisms or anything here even though people do play lip service to that and they say well there's essential workers and there's people who work from home i mean i've been

dreading the day that you all say we're going to tour again interesting okay that that was um that was on my lightning round questions so maybe you can maybe you can explain that one here a little bit i just don't want to do it um i want all my travel to bit. I just don't want to do it. I want all my travel to be for vacation. I don't want to travel for work anymore. I like getting out there and meeting people. All right. Well, then, so then that kind of, you know, that is their... I stepped on the bit yet again.

No, no, no. It's totally fine. That was their segment of this. We explored how completely like I said, banal, empty, vacuous, absurd it was. But now we're going to go to the lightning

round and I wanted to put a Trillbillies flair on this to explore how really quirky and random and interesting you all are. So what their lightning round was, are you looking forward to the following things? And it was things like travel, restaurants, parties, that kind of stuff. Again, banal, uninteresting.

But I devised a little list here that makes it a little more specific to uh our trio here so true billy's lightning round and you can explain your answers if you want are you looking forward to the following things first up on the list manspreading me or other people doing it both of you you too i mean do am i i i'm looking forward to my own man spreading i love to carry six bags and take up space that's that's all you gotta do is the answer then yes okay ever since i stopped hating myself for being fat, I just want to be bigger and take up more space. I'm constantly swelling like I've run into a black bear and trying to scare him away. I'm going to have to let this fucking dog out again.

Hold on. Okay. It's the lightning round, though. Tanya, the lightning round implies that... Never mind. Just not having it. Okay,

she's back. Okay. Okay. Tom said no. Undecided. you're not looking forward to it one way strong opinions either way about it okay uh all right cat calling say you're working on a construction crew this is this is different yeah i cannot wait to be hanging drywall with the boys and saying, Hey, baby!

Shake that over here a little bit, baby! And then affecting a suave Spanish accent and making lewd offers. Yes, I love to be catcalled at the at the gas station what about doing it yourself are you gonna do no you were asking if you liked it if you would like to cat called a stranger i'm not sure if i like if i like it or not i have no idea um but i saw a tweet recently that said someone asked their partner are you gonna tell me I'm beautiful today or do I have to go to the gas station? Do I have to walk past a 1970s

construction crew? Alright. Let's see. Spreading the word of God either through general evangelizing or doing missionary work overseas. You came up with this list? I don't know anybody more Christ-like

than Tanya Turner, so I'll punt to her on this one. Yeah, sure. I love the gospel. I think we all know where I land on this. Right, right, right. I mean... I go to and fro uh you know seeking where i

can i'm just waiting on my fresh print of chick uh chick tracks um in this article it was you know questions like this it's like are you looking forward to restaurants and it's like who the fuck would say no this is one of those questions who would say no to spreading the word of god yes that's true i mean i yeah i think we should all go out into the highways and byways and compel them to come into the house of worship that's just my own personal code though and god now for me is synonymous with little nausea so so that is god for you yeah so that's who i'm spreading the gospel for okay um so okay next up on the list we have uh i threw i threw you i threw a bone in here for this type of article i put dating you don't have to answer this if you don't want to but yeah i'm looking forward to dating some days i have to recuse myself obviously um we will go to the next uh canvassing for democratic candidates

um it's gonna be a no for me, dog. Going to be a no for me. Well, me personally, I think Connor Lamb has some interesting things to say in Pennsylvania. So, yeah, I'll get out there for him. I mean, you know me. I'm vote blue no matter who. Somebody actually accosted me on instagram if you can actually accost online over uh over my my famously big tent stance i think cyberbullying is real tom i have been so i'm easy to cyberbully if you're a cyberbully I'm a punching bag. Just hit them DMs.

So, all right. So I'm going to mark that down for yes for both of you. And I will be sending that information to every Democratic candidate in a 500-mile radius. Yeah, please let them know. I'm not interested. No, I'm going to let them know you are. You said yes, and Tom said yes. All right. Next question.

Touring. No. Yes. Here's what I like about touring. I like the hangs. We were touring with Lee Baines, and even, well, I guess it would be two summers ago now in a couple months with Street Fight guys and District Sentinel guys.

Like, the hangs and all the extracurriculars are the fun shit for me. The actual getting on stage is just terrifying. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, I like to hang out with people, but I can travel around and hang out with people any time, all the time. I don't have to be forced to perform on stage. So if we did a tour, you wouldn't go?

It would just be me and Tom? Be TNT? We'll see what the cities are. Depends on where it is, honestly. Wow. Just note that, fans. Noting that down, sending it to every Democratic candidate in a 500 mile radius no sending that

to everybody that says uh tom and terrence are dumb problematic pieces of shit and tanya's the queen yeah let's see how they think about that now all right um last one da baby are you guys ready for some direct action are you looking forward to some getting cuffed and stuff with your favorite uh with bobby candidate jr funny you should ask because i did this yesterday i went to an action a da in knoxville at a high school library because the school board was meeting knox county school board had this like committee meeting where they were not even going to talk about anthony thomas thompson jr being murdered in austin east high school two weeks ago and there were about 60 people there

just dragging them for filth like what the fuck are you gonna do about this and um it was uh you know it was pretty weird i mean there were a lot of cops there and they started kind of like swarming and talking to each other so i felt like they were about to do something so i spent like 20 minutes just recording the cops because i was just like a nervous wreck so no i'm not i'm not looking forward to more da because this one was already. I mean, it was very frustrating because you're literally in a school library talking about the death of a student. Students and parents there demanding answers and getting literally laughed at. And so that was really awful. But on the other hand, seeing people out literally these like chief of staff and superintendent

motherfuckers like your days are numbered um we're sick of peaceful protests we're about to burn all these schools down literally was like we're over it we're fucking over it this is done um that was pretty cool that was nice. But it is also very hard to see and hear about. So just an update. They released the body cam footage from that shooting. And I'm only saying this because there's very little media coverage about it. Have you all seen anything about it? Any news about it?

No. So just an update. No. So just an update for the world is that they released the body cam footage of a cop executing a teenager in a high school bathroom in Knoxville, Tennessee. And it was horrifying. And what happened was the resource officer who was there who had a gun tried to pull his gun out and shot his on his own self in the leg which escalated the situation and got the kid shot and right after it happened the body cam footage shows them literally cuffing the his best friend who was with him throwing him on the ground and then and like as this kid pleads for his friend's life and then they take him in and question him for four hours after he watches this happen it's like

unbelievable traumas and anyway long story short they've already open closed case said that there will that it was just all justified there will be no investigations nothing the guy the the cop that killed him still working everything's he's not even he's not even on admin leave nothing so that's where we're at in knoxville um just a little just a little da yeah side note i'm gonna put down yes if cops get screamed at and if daryl hannah's involved. Yes. Okay. Good. Perfect. Okay. That's my story. Tom. Yes, but only if it involves father's parental rights or men's rights in general. Okay. All right.

We've got the vast spectrum of human thought, behavior, you know, represented here in this study. Are we unique? What were the words? Unique and interesting and? Random. Quirky. Random. Quirky.

Are we random? Quirky. Yeah. We've got it all. are social scientists and i appreciate you for partaking in my study using the atlantic methodology your answers will be duly noted like i said to every democratic candidate and registered in what is that what is that voting software they use to determine the van all of this will be lodged in the van excellent for the next 80 000 years if you could just take all this and create me a dating profile that'd be great yeah okay all right uh like i said and it will never disappear it will still be in the van in 2150 when those two guys

uh are determining who won their bet on someone living to 150. um so again thank you both for participating if you would like to fund more research like this, please go to the website www.patreon.com www.patreon.com www.patreon.com There's all kinds of good scientific experiments on there that you can fund with $5 a month.

We are constantly looking for more money for research initiatives like this one. We don't get paid $ hundred thousand dollars a year uh to do this type of reporting to take the pulse to take the travelers in america's airports that's exactly right so uh we need your help we're independent scientists um we need your help so please go support us there. And anything else, guys? Yeah, to sign off, I have a question to pose to you.

What if the guy who placed his bet saying that no one would live to be 150 years old is indeed the one to live to be 150 years old? Yes. 50 years old is indeed the one to live to be 150 years old yes it would be an interesting conundrum because you would want to kill yourself because because it would discredit you scientifically and you would lose all of that money you'd lose the bet but you don't want to kill yourself because you're living you're 150 you don't want to fucking kill yourself needlessly so what are you gonna do that's what makes it a good a good film look i mean if you like to fund more films like this my money is on the girl boss granddaughter offing papaw for the money. Okay, alright. Alright. I see. And this is why we need more people to stand up for men's rights.

Yeah. I'm with you, man. This will be the summer of manspreading, because we all get back out there into the world and take up our own space. As if you haven't had six feet on both sides. On all sides.

You are actually mandated to manspread. Had thought of that. You're right. Anyways, yes, we're screenwriters and scientists. Please go give us money at Patreon. Please give us money so we can continue to chase both pursuits. That's right. All right.

Thanks for listening, everybody. We'll see you next time. Bye.