Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 204: 4000 Miles Without A Jack

Episode Date: June 24, 2021

Montanya tells us about her travels out west, and then we explore the dual social phenomena of ghosting and writing stories about ghosting Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

Let's see where this takes us, alright? Yeah, I took a couple joints to Dollywood this weekend and smashed them in my fanny pack. I gotta figure something out. Hold on, I left my phone over there. My sister gave me her TV out of her RV. It's a parting gift to remember the trip by. Yeah, well she just ain't got room for shit I've got her cat

That's her cat I took her plants She gave you what? That TV This TV Cause you know I didn't have a TV in the living room So this TV now And a bunch of her plants and her cat

But I'm thinking about mounting this TV on the back porch in front of the hot tub. I think you could. I bet you could weatherproof it somehow. Yeah. Well, just, you know, they have those outdoor, I mean, it would be under the, like, it wouldn't get rained on. It would just be moisture. Moisture, yeah.

But they have those just little, you know, like, furniture covers and shit. They have them for TVs. those just little, you know, like furniture covers and shit. They have them for TVs. So I had to go to the vet yesterday. I don't spend more time at the vet than I do at the regular vet. Buddy, I got there, they're supposed to open at 10 this morning. I got there at 9.45. Nobody showed up until 10.45. I sat there for an hour but i had to to get these little bitches in a daycare they gotta have their shots and shit that's can't be bringing candle cough in there the yeah i every every institution every business around here is on non-profit hours it's like at 9 a.m but it's ish that is true they didn't even i mean they didn't acknowledge it they

didn't apologize nothing they said good morning rolled in at 10 45 me sitting there like i said can i come on you turn the lights on for me yeah literally the door they had locked the door i went in with them and then i sat in my little room listening to the woman working the front desk. I guess she was making a doctor's appointment. And it was so good. You guys, she's like, now this is UK, right? You're in Lexington. Correct? Can you imagine?

I just want to verify the University of Kentucky is still in Lexington, Kentucky. This is UK. She was saying, yeah, yeah, yeah. She said, well, I got more time than money i'll tell you that i joined the club sister got more time than money what she said that she just kept going on and i just thought i guarantee people at uk hospital i mean i already know because i know a couple people who've worked there they dread dealing with people from eastern worked there. They dread dealing with people

from Eastern Kentucky. They dread dealing with us. My mom cancels about every third appointment she makes down there and they told her we're going to have to get serious about this.

Why is that? Do you think they just don't want to deal with... Is it because we have greater health problems? No, I mean, they just don't want to deal with... Well... Is it because we have greater health problems? No, I mean, they just like... Those people are beyond repair. They walk through the door and they're like,

fuck, my whole day is written off. No, I think it's as soon as they answer the phone, they know. I mean, listen to this woman talk to them. It's too much. Wow. These dogs sound like they're being tortured outside. It'll be fine. Just playing in the yard.

I thought that they would have... I mean, they're not playing, because I just look... I can see Sally looking in through the window. Once again, I know. So, I went to the vet yesterday, and Hazard, and there was this cat on the front desk. And, you know, they have vet cats. Cats that hang out at the vet and dogs. I met this very cat last week.

At the one in Hazard? You go over to there? I had to because mine won't open. They serve as kind of like a nurse for the animals, don't they? Yeah, they do. Just comfort the animals that are coming in with their various problems. Well, and the people, too. I think that...

So, yeah. So, this cat... Like, there's a lot of different cats. There's, like, four vet cats is what they said. And one of them started, like, rubbing up against me. And everybody was like, Wow, you must be really special. That cat doesn't like anybody.

That cat's really grumpy, doesn't like anybody. I love that. They do the pervert leg rub thing. Yeah, I mean, all over me. So it was definitely perverted. He looks receptive to that. They were so tickled by that that they took me back. They were like, all right, well, you got to see this other cat we've got.

Oh, my God. They took me in the back and showed me this cat that they had that had six toes on each foot. What? And so it, um,

its feet looked like mittens. Was it a problem cat? No, it was totally fine. Were they just parading you around to see if you could heal,

they thought you were a healer? Heal the trauma these cats have experienced. You've never seen me die or you can heal cats i did think it's a funny thing though i like i don't know if this is just a pandemic thing post-pandemic thing or what but it does feel like people are so starved for attention that i've had multiple experiences lately where people will i would say inconvenience me because it's not like

i really had anywhere to be but it was very interesting that they were like, all right, you have to turn over some of your time to us now. I don't know. I just think people are pretty starved for social interaction. I don't know. People at the vet, though, they've been dealing with bullshit all pandemic. Yeah, you're right. I guess they never shut down.

When I was at that one, I had to go get a dewormer of these two. They're wormed up? What are y'all catching them worms for? They're killing me. These mountain ass dogs are fucking killing me. Every day she comes home covered in burrs. She's about to get a butch summer cut.

That's what she needs. She's getting chopped off. Getting all this cute hair cut off, Sass. Go butch in her golden ears. I was going to ask if you saw the cat that's always on the printer over there. Yes. They have a printer cat. There's a printer cat, yeah.

Where are y'all going to vet at? Well, I don't go to this one because they're expensive. This is the one in Hazard. They're too expensive. The hospital, yeah. But they do keep regular hours. That place looks like a goddamn day spa when you go in there. It does.

It looks really nice. They have a big fish tank and everything. You go in there, expect to get rubbed down and sit in a hot tub for an hour. No, instead, I go closer to home where I have to wait an hour. They roll in about 45 minutes late. Norton. No. And Jeremiah.

Wow. And Awesome. Winston, me. Yeah. This is un Meade. Yeah. Is unlicensed. No. I went over there one time to get a damn cat fixed, and he had goddamn emus on his property.

Winston Meade is running a rogue veterinary service? Back in the day, that's where everybody got their cats fixed. Oh, God. I guess he just knew how to from being a farmhand or something. I wonder if you could take a brood X cicada over there. And do what? I don't know. Fix it.

Put his exoskeleton back on him. Get it to right his shot. I had this cicada. He crawled out of his skin. Put him back in it. Put him back in it. Put him back in it. I have 1,400 more at home. Just like this.

Have y'all heard any? I haven't really heard them. They're not here. Well, I've seen two. I haven't heard them, but I've seen two skins back here on my porch. It might be a different kind. Oh, yeah. Brutex is... I don't know shit about it. They're not in Kentucky for some reason. Lucky us.

But, so, they are in Ohio, and Nicole was there this past weekend, and all the dogs love to eat them, and so their shits are just full of

crunchy. Full of cicadas? Oh, my God. High in protein, I'm sure of that. Cicada shits are just full of crunchy. Oh my god. High in protein, I'm sure. Cicada shits. Humans eat cicadas, though. Traditionally. Humans have eaten a lot of stuff. Growing up, they always said John the Baptist ate locusts. Yeah.

Dipped in honey. Dipped in honey. That's what they said. Well, I went back and forth on whether i was going to tell this on myself but it's come up so last night i ate a bunch of ants that was a perfect segue dipped in honey almost they were on a donut it was dark and i didn't know you didn't know and you ate them i just crammed that donut right in my mouth and then i started feeling stuff on my arm and it was dark

and so i ran in the bathroom flipped on the light and there's just fucking everywhere i just freaked the fuck out do they do they hurt going down i'd imagine no i mean i sat there for a minute you know of course i was like i need to google can this kill me can eating 10 ants that's a slipper slope so i got an unknown number of ants in my belly right now actually i'm on my period so i'm shitting constantly they're probably out by now honestly well they probably got burned up they probably were descending to the ninth ring of hell by the time they got to by my stomach acid all the l8 slashing around in there i don't know you'd be surprised it was terrible and i felt it just made me feel so gross i was like i just

i just ate a bunch of ants because i just wanted a donut so bad it's like 11 o'clock at night i'd already ate dinner i was like this is sick this made me feel so gross the whole situation i was just like this is bad this is really bad well i'm sorry i'm sorry tanya um well i guess maybe i should if i dipped them in honey it wouldn't have been as bad, maybe. Yeah. So, right when we got off the call from our last episode, our Patreon episode on Sunday, Tom and Aaron and I kind of went down this rabbit hole on Danny Williams, who claims to be Bill Clinton's illegitimate son.

Oh, I love this. Well, I won't spoil it. Carry on, Tanner. No, don't spoil it for me. Do you think he really is? No, no, no. I mean, I don't doubt him. He probably is.

Where I worry about him is his last post. Look at the date of his last post. What was his last post? I forgot. About this time last summer. Do you think he got COVID? Or do you think he took him out? Do you think he was involved in the disappearance of

our boy? My brain is fried, you guys. Mine is too. My baby boy. Absolutely fried. My baby boy. Absolutely fried. My baby boy. Long-time listeners will know who I'm talking about. I can't think of his name right now. No, you're going to die when you hear.

Do you think he... Because wasn't there some Conspiracy that What's his name That got murdered in jail Epstein Jesus My boy Epstein Wasn't there some conspiracy

That it was actually Clinton's brother or some shit that looks like Epstein Oh yeah That they like rolled him out. He was actually the one they rolled out. It was Hillary's brother. Oh, yeah, Hillary's brother. His last tweet

was just a picture of his grandson. Hashtag Bill Clinton's grandson. That's what it says. It says Bill Clinton's grandson. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Danny, I support you.

And, you know, as an abandoned child myself, I support you. But the difference is, my dad can't disappear anybody. Your dad can and probably has. Well, so. Even though you abandoned me and only took care of Chelsea, I still want to thank you for giving me life. Happy Father's Day. Well, look, the, so, this is an interesting thing that I thought about

after we got done talking about it. thought about after we got done talking about it like imagine imagine the kind of the specific kind of insanity you would feel if you suspected that you were the offspring of someone powerful wealthy but not just like suspected it but like you had i think decent and your mother whether true or not i told you your whole life that she had a brief fling with the president of the united states that's all she ever talked about and you look like him i mean you don't not look like him yeah that's true so i i don't know it would be pretty i would spend all my time trying to get that money well yeah you could turn it into obviously you could turn it into like a grift or something like that.

Definitely. Or just back child support. Well, I mean, Bill Clinton's not going to pay Danny Williams child support. He would literally kill him first. Listen, I knew a girl when we were like 17. I knew a girl when we were like 17. Somehow her mom won a court case and got all her, or maybe her dad got rich and caught up to him.

I don't know. But at 17, she got 17 years worth of back child support and bought a brand new Mustang. My mom tried that and never could get a hold of a competent lawyer. Oh, it was awesome. Cherry apple red Mustang out of that. That's crazy. You totaled it. Two days later, it was totaled.

No, it was a few months, but yeah, it was gone. It's a blink of an eye. Just like our life. Just vapor on the water, you know? Yeah. So what's going on? what else is going on tanya you've you have many travels you've gotten back catch us up i don't know where to start i mean anything good that we should know about what's going on at west or should we just stay away from there no i um i had a good time out west. South Dakota was gorgeous.

I hit up a few national parks. You know, I hate this country, but our national parks are pretty nice. Yeah. I mean, it's land we've stole, but... Well... Badlands. I went to Badlands and Glacier.

And I put my fat ass in Glacier waters. And it was glorious. What happened? What happened? Yeah. It was magical. I mean, it was freezing. I want to put my ass in Glacier water.

It was incredible. My ass needs Glacier water. My sister was so mad because I got naked in public. And people started coming. And I didn't care. And she was like, you're going to get us kicked out. She's so rigid. She's so.

What a stiff dick. She's so lame. She doesn't want to get kicked out of our vacation spot. This is worried. Always worried about everything. I'd dip my ass in the glaciers and I'd instantly become a Ken doll. Just. Yeah, I came out. Smooth pubic, ma'am.

Nothing wrong with me. It was so nice. I just felt like it was like a baptism. It was glorious. Yeah, yeah. But I rode a little boat around the lake. And I rode a bike up going to the Sun Road. Your girl rode a bicycle up a mountain.

Wow. It was an e-bike. So what kind of bike? It was an electric bicycle. It pedaled for you? No. That's what I thought might happen. And that would have been nice.

But no, it just matches your... Effort. Yeah. So it just doubles whatever you do. It don't go on its own. So you're still working. No, yeah. But you can take a little off of it though if you need to.

Right. Yeah. It was not, you know, there were parts that were a little tough, but it was mostly fine. I mean, I cranked, because you could like put it down on low and it would only match it by 30%, but I'd have cranked up the whole fucking time. Because they told me there's like, there's no way you'll run out of battery say less i had it on 10 the whole fucking time get me up this motherfucker but i paddled the whole way i was so proud of myself do i think i could have biked a regular bike up that mountain absolutely not so this is an accessibility issue in terms of like uh expenditure of energy were you winded

by the time you got to the top or were you like uh i smoked joints as soon as i got to the top so not too windy no not too bad we had a little snack my sister god this this is how much my sister loves me when we got to the she told me she had a surprise but we couldn't get it till we were at the top and when we got to the top she said okay here's the surprise and she pulled two cold l8s out of her backpack wow three we had another person with us three l8s and she those had been lost in the rv because i brought some on the trip but they were already long gone by then you know i have to have one a day and and she had found them and surprised me with them at the top of the mountain it was i almost cried there's nothing like a sibling pulling through

yeah speaking of my brother just texted me what's that like coming through in the clutch i mean i was helping her move across the country i feel like i really came through and then all the things like i, we were quite literally the day we left. We didn't leave till like two o'clock because the whole morning we were literally like tossing shit out of the RV that she thought was too heavy. Trying to like get the weight down on the rig until the last second. Including like her skates. She decided her roller skates too heavy couldn't go all this shit um later i realized i found out because we needed it she had tossed out the

fucking uh jack on the car which i would have so we drove 2 000 miles with no jack oh and we had we were rolling with a total of four eight twelve like 16 tires holy shit 16 tires zero jacks 16 tires zero jacks 2 000 miles across the country but did you ever need it not until we got there and then what did you do well we had to call somebody to come bring one we were at like the first thing we did was wreck her car and she did it thank god not me even though i had been driving it and because once we got in the mountains she was worried about uh towing it we'd been towing her car yeah but so i started driving which was so fun because she had a stick shift and i missed driving a stick shift so much so i was just fucking whipping around these curves going up

glacier going up going to the sun road i mean we were driving over the rockies i was just whipping this little kia around it was so fun but um she didn't like where i parked it when we made it to her camp spot where she's working for the summer so she got out to move it and drove it up on a rock as soon as we got there damn like heist entered it yeah and i said oh it's fine and she just spent a thousand dollars retrofitting the front end of this thing so it could be towed it's been flat towed and so it has a whole metal thing put in it to be flat towed i don't know if this makes any sense but she just put a bunch of work money into it to fit to to to rig up the front end so it could be towed and then she got the front end stuck and

she tried to rip that fucking bumper off i said listen this is fine we just jack it up and drive it off it ain't no big deal she said i don't have a jack i said i'm gonna have to go smoke some weed before i can make this i just walked away i just walked away i went and smoked a joint i was like we just drove 2 000 miles without a jack Just imagine throwing things left like you're trying to make weight. Yeah, just toss it, toss it. She left the fucking jack. Anyway, I came home and mailed her all the stuff she left. Cost me $100.

So the big movie at the Oscars this year was Nomadland featuring Frances McDormand. Was your life like that? Yeah, it was. I watched it. Honestly, me and my mom watched it before we went on the trip and i wish we hadn't because honestly this is this is very real i my sister has been so determined and excited about this venture like she sold she started selling all her stuff in september bought this rig in september sold all of her like sold everything

she owned on facebook marketplaceplace to get down to as little you know items as possible. Started. She found this used. It's like a Class C or something. I can't remember what they call it but it's like a small little you know that you drive. RV that you drive.

And she's been working on it like every day. So she's worked for h&m for eight years and the pandemic broke her fighting people to wear a mask for leggings just really sent her they shouldn't mark in process a damn low and she wouldn't have to put up with that i mean yeah she she was just having such a hard time because she's a man she was a manager in the store and so she was dealing with a she was working in Knoxville, Tennessee by the time she was leaving. So Tennessee was at one point the world global hotspot for COVID.

And I mean, she was dealing with, you know, fucking her, her coworkers getting COVID and getting sick. Just like really scary. It's awful. Does everybody know? You know, it's fucking awful. She said to work in the public and it just broke her brain you know she's like I can't do this no more so she sold all her stuff figured out how to live in an RV literally gave herself a YouTube university degree in RVs like taught herself everything she can literally work on this thing underneath under the hood all of it she spent

three days completely um what do you call it sealing her seat her roof three days on her roof sealing it and then she drove it to a place to get it checked and she told the guy exactly what she did because right now is this boring i don't know hell i don't look i could go really far into this anyway i can't even take the temperature accurately yeah i don't know i'm like you're just talking to a mic until the bell rings for the past three months so um because i've been trying to help her who fucking cares me myself i'd like to know more about we're coming off an episode where we just got screamed at for talking about

getting beat as kids. So, you know what, Tanya? You do you. On my left, it's the only people that, you know, they fantasize about using 1500s

murder techniques on anybody making over half a million dollars a year. And then, God forbid, three dipshits talk about getting spanked as kids they say it's like come on i mean every tailbillies episode so it should be it should be obvious it's a trigger i kind of thought that was a bargain yeah it's

season five bitch if you don't know this there's a trigger coming i'm so i don't know what to do i don't know what to tell you we're't know what to tell you. We're three triggered motherfuckers. We are trauma with a capital T. All three Ts. All of which is to say, live your truth. Live your truth. Tell whatever you want to talk about.

People only listen to this shit for you anyways, as I've been told numerous times. You're going to have to lay off the boys. They're making me sweat. they're putting a lot of pressure on me leave them alone um i'll wrap it up but rvs are in extremely high demand right now it is like a year wait to get one worked on so that's why she had to teach herself and just did it her fucking self but she went and and asked the guy like I just want to make sure I did this correctly. She told him everything she did.

And he looked at it and he said, it looks perfect. You did exactly what we would have done if you'd brought it here. And I was just like, God. Where'd she get it at? RV World? No, she bought it used on some bitch in Indiana. Indiana. Well, you know where that originated from, probably, don't you?

Where? The unfortunately named Tom Raper. Tom Raper. Tom Raper, the RV king of Indiana. You've never heard of from, probably, don't you? Where? The unfortunately named Tom Raper. Tom Raper. Tom Raper, the RV king of Indiana. You've never heard of Tom Raper RVs? No. Save today the Tom Raper way. Oh, my God.

If my name was Tom Raper, I'd probably just pronounce it rapper. Yeah. Rap-head. Rap-head. Rap-head. Give it a French affect, you know? It's like the biggest RV guy in like in this area yeah maybe i don't know illinois ohio indiana could be yeah who knows but yeah she's she's killed so she quit her job and she started applying for work camping gigs um all over mostly the west because she's

just kind of falling in love with the west coast not the west coast but like the rocky mountains and stuff but so now anyway she's living her dreams awake in her rv with her dog out in the woods so very proud we all are of her well i'm trying to remember stuff from that movie so did you like have a heart-to-heart conversation with the cancer patient in her rv yeah okay did you fall in love with a older gentleman in his late 60s and i did actually no what i was getting at is that like she'd been so determined and excited about it that it was like felt really like romantic i guess that she was doing this but honestly after watching nomad I was like, she's trying to escape capitalism. This is very bleak.

She's working herself to death. Right. So that she doesn't have to work like this anymore. Right. In the movie or your sister? My sister. Okay. And my mom was even more worried.

My mom made me turn on location. My mom was tracking my location the entire trip out west. And she would text me, hey, what are you guys doing at the Exxon? You know, just crazy shit. Spending a little too much time in Winslow, Arizona, it looks like. entire trip out west and she would text me hey what are you guys doing at the exxon you know just spending a little too much time in winslow arizona looks like what's going on there what are you doing what are you doing at the casino yeah so my mom was after we watched nomadland she was extremely worried well i mean i'm i'm jealous though i mean i know i've definitely been on rv trader since i've gotten home wanting some kind of like trap because my um my little toyota has got a pretty good

towing capacity on it and i'm thinking about getting me a trailer yeah so i had to buy an all-wheel drive when i moved up here remember i moved up here january that's when i got it yeah so i was like i ain't getting stuck up here. And my car already had like 150,000 miles on it. So I was like, now it's now or never. But yeah, and it's a hybrid.

And still has 1,800, like 1,750 towing capacity on it. Really? Pretty good. Pretty good. Pretty good. Tom Rapier.

The king of Richmond, Indiana. I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm just gonna get me a flat trailer, put the hot tub on it, let's have a rolling party. Roll it up. Get me some solar panels. I thought about stripping down and getting in there for a minute.

You should have. It's so nice. Track it in. And I've got the heat turned down on a little bit because it's hot outside. Well, did you meet any? So the thing about like a trip is, you know, you meet characters, obviously. You meet new people. But, like, so we went camping Memorial Day weekend.

And, like, I didn't know anybody there going into this at all. And these were some of Nicole's friends, but she didn't even really know them either. We were just, desperate to get, go somewhere and do something. And so, yeah, so like we went camping and, you know, it was nice. People were a bit younger than we were and I felt really old momentarily and it made me kind of panic.

But it was good to sort of be outside of you know your comfort zone in a in a in a sense you know because i think that i mean one of the things about the pandemic there's all these like think pieces about like oh we got to relearn our social skills we got to relearn talking all this i think most of that is overblown but there is something to be said for the fact that like you get out of habit of telling your story to people and so when people ask you like what do you do for a living who are you what what do you you know you get out of habit of telling your story so you're like you just assemble like a random assortment of items you're're like, podcast, cabin. I was an Eagle Scout.

I say we just start making shit up. Something different every time. We might as well keep it fresh. This shit's getting boring. Well, you know, like, yeah, like in the, you know, before times or whatever, yeah, it's like you had a pretty well, without thinking about it,

it was almost sort of just muscle memory. It's like, oh, yeah, this is who I am. This is what I do, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah muscle memory. It's like, oh yeah, this is who I am. This is what I do. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah. But now it's like, oh yeah, now I gotta actually say this out loud and make myself believe it.

I do things. Eagle Scout. Spelling bee champ, sixth grade. That's true. I played softball. Softball player. We're just going to start regressing back

further and further. I was geography be champ sixth grade. Oh my god, geography be. Tell me about it. Where do I start? Well, I don't know. I was a wee blow. I know 17 different types of rope knots. That's pretty kinky.

At the time, no. Wasn't getting you laid at the time. But yeah, did you meet anybody who was like... Oh, yeah. Well, every RV park is brimmed with characters. Everyone. From the dad up early frying bacon i look my favorite thing was to come out and follow my nose and say what's for breakfast daddy like peppy lepew just yeah

follow my nose see if i get some hot dad to give me some breakfast right um but like like when we, as soon as we got into Montana, we found a little, a little RV park that was also a farm. And so I got to feed a little baby sheep, like bottle, give it a bottle of milk. Yeah. And I got to see all this like enormous. Did you deliver a sheep? No. That'd have been great. No, I don't think I could have done that.

Really? I don't think you could have. No. I actually have. Big glove. Put a don't think I could have done that. Really? I don't think you could have. No. I actually have. Big love. Put a pin in that. I have a story about my mom. Maybe I already told it.

About Sheila at some point in the summer has made her way with her new boyfriend to a cattle sale. Oh my god, damn. And her description of it is the best thing I've ever heard. So what do they auction off cattle? Yeah. Like in Friday Night Lights? Yeah.

When they buy that big steer? Yeah, a cattle auction. Anyway, characters abound, but the two highlights were two listeners that I ran into on the road. Really? Yeah. So shout out to Nellie and Sloan. See, I'm lucky. Everywhere I go, it's like, I'm like, I have a podcast,

and I'm waiting for the moment of recognition. But everyone's like, cool. Good luck. Yeah, you and every other straight, cis, white man in America, pal. Three men talking. That's a podcast. Yeah. No, one was pretty wild.

I turned on Tinder for the trip just to like, so because I was going to be going across the country. I was like, fuck yeah, I want to see swapping hotties all across the country. Hell yeah. Vaccine city. But I was mostly just like getting like local tips on where can I get weed around here? What's the situation? And that all went really well I mean it's just women like I'm just you know talking to talking to goals and I started messaging with somebody in Montana I see you this and eventually she's like you're her aren't you

are you her apparently I was her she's like you're her aren't you but anyway she is the one who um convinced us to ride bikes up the mountain convinced like sold me on e-bikes i was like no bitch i don't think you understand i can't ride a bike up a mountain look at me look at me like that's not happening she's like no no no hear me out on e-bikes she sold us we rented they were really expensive they're like a hundred bucks was she herself the e-bike renter she's the one renting the e-bike she ran a fucking e-bike

co-op or some shit somewhere i can't remember she was like a literal professional biker biker bicyclist and so she biked it she kept up with us on e-bikes wow as you can imagine she had a great ass followed that ass all the way up the mountain just follow that great ass asses look great on bicycles who knew i tell you i have two bikes i've biked around fishpond a couple times but biking up a mountain was a whole different thing and i saw a bunch of trillium they have they grow trillium there who knew it's a resilient plant yeah there was a ton of trillium in this high like next to snow piles because we when we backed up that we literally met a snowstorm and had to like turn around and leave it makes sense yeah um because we we biked 1600 miles of elevation up

like we went 1600 feet sorry not miles feet up you meet any mountain codgers that had told you to turn turn back before you meet some great you know it was mostly tourists and the only reason we did the bike ride is because they still had that road it's called going to the sun road and they still had it shut down to traffic so there were no cars so that's why we backed it because i couldn't have backed next to cars um i have no coordination y'all i mean i don't i love to sit you on a bike i mean i was just coasting next to a car yeah it's not happening um but it was yeah it was really really fun and it was gorgeous. Just breathtaking. But we did this boat ride around the lake at Glacier.

And it was too real because they gave us the stat. That was sick. When Glacier National Park once had 200 glaciers. Really? You want to guess how many there are today? Two. Yes, about that. About ten. Jesus. We are so fucked.

I like how you had that answer dialed up too. We are so fucked. Everything is so fucked. You know, I've stopped thinking about it. You got to. At Terrence's behest, I got really into that podcast Subliminal Jihad. Let's turn the way up here. And it's kind of like the thinking man's vigilant citizen you know it's like they

kind of suss out like what's real and what's not in that sort of conspiracy world and i listened to that new age perverts one that you'd sent me about epstein and all that stuff yeah and it's just like there's so many threads that make this world as insane as it is. And it's like, one, I was like, they were talking about

like that guy Johnson that was kind of loosely associated with the founding of NAMBLA then went on to be the mayor of Dallas. Yeah, yeah,

yeah. I'm like. He works for Texas Instruments. Right, right, right. I mean, yeah.

If you were a physicist in the 60s and 70s, there's like a 40% chance you were a pedophile or an occultist and not one of the fun kind. Lord have mercy. No, that's absolutely right. Yeah, that's why I am just, you know, I got a Dollywood season pass and I'm just, I mean, I'm honestly still living an afterglow of a suicidal winter so I'm on a high that's

just based on how low I got during the winter I'm just riding this high as long as I fucking can and I already have a winter plan to go hibernate down south I'm gonna fly south for the winter I can't take it I can't do another winter like I did well

let me so a second ago we were talking about post pandemics for the winter. I can't take it. I can't do another winter like I did. Well, let me, so a second ago we were talking about post-pandemic things. Also... When's that happening? Is that a prediction that we're going to get past the pandemic? Any minute now. So, there's this article that came

out. I've been saving it for when you got back. It came out right at the beginning of May. Oh, let me get an L.A. for this. Y'all want anything to drink? I'm good. Can I interest y'all in some rosé? I'm good on the rosé. I got a box.

I got a box in the fridge. Wow. I know. While they're doing that, I'll arouse y'all with an award-winning medley of show tunes. Exchanging glances, lovers at first sight. I don't know, it's a total fucking world of dice. What were the chances?

Okay. All right. Like I said, this came out at the beginning of May, and I wanted to save it for when Tanya got back. Wow. It's in Glamour Magazine. Oh, that's why you thought this was for May? Mm-hmm.

Yeah. I thought it had some interesting advice in it. The title is, You're Going to Get Ghosted This Summer. May I Propose a Solution? It's under the vertical on the website Love in the Time of Corona by Jenny Singer.

Let me tell you about the first and last time I was ever ghosted. My first conversation with Jesse, that's not his real name, obviously, because I don't think any of this happened, but we'll get to that. My first conversation with Jesse lasted four hours. Tell me your life story, he said.

He acted rapt, as if the mundane stories of my childhood contained some secret code to his future happiness. Also, just want to pause for a second and file this under, and I'm not the one who pointed it out i think um on twitter natalie shore pointed this out that file this under articles that if a man had written it would be insane would be absolutely call the cops insane so um yeah let me tell you about the first and last time i was ever ghosted uh etc etc my first conversation with jesse lasted four hours on our second date he let's just pretend it's a man

let's just pretend well but that wouldn't make as good as it is um because well like i said you'll see in a second because i don't even know if it actually happened. On our second date, he paid for an extra ice cream for the elderly woman waiting in line behind us. I'm just showing off, he told the woman, winking to impress this girl. He begged to give me massages. He seemed ecstatic at the prospect of cooking me dinner. One night we were standing in a park

and he literally swept me into his arms and we stared up at the stars. It was as if he was doing an over-the-top pantomime of a male lead in a romantic comedy he kept waking me up with extravagant pancake breakfasts and watching me eat them our relationship was characterized by me being uncomfortably full of breakfast foods watching her eat that's what it says it sounds like a a romantic. Wait, J.C. is about to ghost her? That might be where this is going. That might be where this is going.

Keep going. We went on maybe eight or nine dates. And then one day his text became brief. Hold on, hold on, hold on. They went on eight or nine dates and he was like already massaging and pancake breakfasting did they fuck is that just implied um i think they did i can't i can't remember i think maybe she mentions that but that's a good question it's good to know because honestly the ghosting thing becomes a bigger issue i guess once sex is introduced into it well it's like that you

know teenage uh stereotype like as soon as you give it up they're gone that's what this is well i okay i'll save this i'll save my own thoughts on this and on ghosting for towards the end we went on maybe eight or nine dates and then one day his text became brief he canceled our plans saying he was overworked and then he stopped contacting me altogether i knew that he was sending me a message that he didn't want to see me anymore but he didn't send an actual message he didn't call he didn't text he did not spell out it's over in pancakes i didn't want him to change his mind and go out with me again i just wanted him to value me enough to break up with me.

I was shocked and also a little impressed by Jesse's audacity. He really thought that he could make me listen to a three-hour Jason Mraz-based playlist and then slip quietly into the mists of time. What? Slip quietly. That's never happened. This guy has a pure concoction. That's my thing.

He might actually, she might have been ghosted by an actual ghost. He might be. An amalgam of a number of archetypes. Right. Yeah, three-eyed Jason Mraz based, Jason Mraz, by the way, Bernie bro. So maybe that's what, maybe there's some subtext to this,

some symbolism, I don't know. And then slipped quietly into the mist of time like a twee forest creature when he was done with me. Somehow the bar for how I expected to be treated by men had sunk beneath the level of the water table. I didn't want him to change his mind and go out with me again. I just wanted him to...

Did she say that? She did literally say that twice. Need some editing, Glamour Magazine. Being ghosted makes you feel crazy. That's on purpose. People ghost when they do not want to experience the negative emotions that come with rejecting another person. Jesse didn't want to find the right words

or deal with my feelings or experience a moment of guilt. It's a relatable but cowardly impulse. In seeking to avoid a situation he would have found personally unpleasant, he made me feel like a human gun wrapper tossed carelessly inches away from a trash can. Ghosting can be hurtful. God damn, she was sprung off in breakfast.

They were good pancakes. They were good fucking pancakes. Pancakes suck. Yeah, I agree. French toast, waffles, I love that. Waffles much better. Pancakes, terrible. Ghosting can be hurtful after a date or two and can be hurtful after hundreds. See, I'm going to disagree.

Ghosting can be kind of annoying after a date or two. Ghosting can be, yes, misery and hell after hundreds of dates. But after a handful of dates, it's like, yeah, I mean, definitely don't be a pussy and just have a conversation. But still, it's like a handful of dates, it's like, yeah, I mean, definitely don't be a pussy and just have a conversation, but still, it's like a handful of dates. It's much different than like hundreds of dates. Right? Am I right?

Am I wrong? Yeah. Ghosting after hundreds of dates is actually losing your mind. Well, that's fucked up. Yeah, that's like going out for cigarettes and never, that's the original ghosting. Yes, that's the OG going out for snacks never to be seen or heard from again right yeah but yeah after a after a handful of dates i don't know people of all genders ghost and i strongly suspect that this summer as people feel safe enough to connect in the aftermath of

more than a year of isolation you got to have the pandemic hook in here we will see unprecedented amounts of ghosting more unprecedented people are going to be extremely confused and horny and overwhelmed and to varying degrees traumatized there will be love and sex and joy and people who entered your life and rearrange your consciousness for the better and also a lot of people will hurt each other often by ghosting as they maneuver between each vaccine-enabled hookup. When you are ghosted, you may feel like you should quietly accept the rejection

and never bother the person again, either to prove that you get the message or because you want to preserve your dignity. This is exactly what your ghoster wants, to not have to deal with you. They want you to feel bad and then second-guess whether you even have the right to feel bad over a person who doesn't even think enough of you to dump you and then doubt yourself until you're tired out blah blah um but i hope if you

have the most fortune of being ghosted you will consider doing what i did with jesse i arranged to dump myself all right oh buckle in, buckle in. Buckle in. So this is the part where if this is real, this person is insane. If this is not, this person is insane. Either way. How did this get the green light at Glamour? Well, I think it's, I mean. She ain't what she used to be.

Yeah. I mean She ain't what she used to be Yeah anyways A point of clarification People who don't want to see you anymore Don't need to provide an explanation They are not required to hear you out Or just meet for a quick coffee Or give you a phone call But they do owe you human decency If you have had sexual intercourse

Or spent hours getting to know each other one on one Your relationship is not quote unquote chill It is extremely personal The word intercourse is so stupid or spend hours getting to know each other one-on-one, your relationship is not quote-unquote chill. It is extremely personal. The word intercourse is so stupid. And each of you needs to communicate directly about your plans. I mean, I had this, like, if you've had sexual intercourse,

again, it gets to that question of how many times. So straight, too. Like, sexual intercourse. If you've had sex, like, once, is your relationship intimate? Like, it's... But I don't know like i don't know people i guess have different opinions on this uh well and this didn't happen so this is a total fiction after weeks of no contact i called jesse and left a mysterious

hey there's something i really need to talk about with you message with you and then dot dot dot after that the dreaded message that anybody really hates to see she sent that to Jesse yeah channeling my gynecologist when she leaves me foreboding voicemails that turn out to be about yeast infections he texted back immediately i said i would be oh shit oh i gotta talk immediately oh was she trying to make him think she was knocked up yes yeah wow she was trying to she was trying to yeah exactly which i've had done to me before i've had someone literally do that i've heard of this many times oh wow very scary situation he texted me back immediately i said it would be better to talk in person he arranged to come over right away like this poor bastard's like fuck it didn't work almost made it i did not want to be rejected but I did want my rejection to feel humane.

Jesse materialized in my apartment, winding a beautiful scarf around his beautiful neck. What? I felt... Okay, okay. How did the tone of this go from, I was a little weirded out, mildly weirded out about all those breakfasts

and the back rubs and everything, to like, oh my God, he's wrapping that scarf around his beautiful neck. This is really... Sounds like... This is a journey. I felt wild. Witchy. He had ghosted me, but here he was now in the flesh.

He had discarded me, but I had brought him back. I am the necromancer. I thought to myself feeling crazed with power. My hair looked bad jesse looked at me with fear and with pity oh man i was with i was no longer an object of his sexual interest just an emotional woman you ghosted me i said we went out too many times for that to be okay if you knew you didn't want to see me anymore you should have just said so jesse squirmed he had been he had

been planning to get back to me he said it was a busy time he said no you ghosted me i said i'm sorry you feel that way he said uh you don't you don't have to be you don't have to be sorry you feel that way i said just be sorry you did it i'm sorry you feel like i did it he said he continued on like this a game of cat and jesse's and aries i asked if as he claimed he had been meaning to text me what he would have texted he looked pale say it i said he was silent say it i hissed say it now what she's demanding an apology he looked up spooked like a peasant child waylaid in the woods by a witch woman i felt like maybe we were moving towards being friends he stammered i am the witch queen i thought as he as his steps echoed down the hall i am the

resurrector i am she who turns ghosts of men and men to dust i was still stabbed she said that or she just thought this is in her yes neither is okay i do not want to be rejected i just wanted my rejection to feel humane blah blah since jesse i've refined my process for break okay so we know this didn't happen because there was no resolution to this she just it we skipped narratively between her hissing at him as the woman the witch woman in the woods and then him walking down the hall so like obviously this didn't happen so he just turned around and left once Once he realized she wasn't pregnant? Yeah, it says, it doesn't even say that.

It just says she just watched the steps echo down the hall. So it's like, there's no, this didn't happen. Because if it did, there would be a cleaner, a tidier... Yeah, what is the point of this? To even write this down? I don't know. Well, as I said earlier... Because people should expect to get ghosted.

I think the point of it, yes, is that, yeah, post-pandemic, you're going to be ghosted a lot. Because people are trying to spread that seed around. They're trying to get it in. It's going to be, you know, hedonistic, the most hedonistic summer since 1433 Holland or something. I don't know. Who could forget the horny Dutch summer of 1572?

Since Jesse, I've refined my process for breaking up with myself when the person I'm dating refuses to. It's important to remember that people are allowed to break up with us

at any time and they do not need a reason. To save time, I usually go with a text. I try to stick stick to the facts we went on four dates and you kept asking to sleep over hey some might deem that cowardly yeah honestly you're right what i break up the text yeah yeah yeah i think that uh yeah yeah you're taking the moral high road there by just by doing it via text yeah truly meanwhile meanwhile when it when you're taking the moral high road there by doing it via text. Yeah, truly. Meanwhile, when you're the one getting broke up with,

you demand to be the necromaster and all that stuff. Just fucking chill. I've sent through many a breakup calls. It ain't that bad. Yeah, no, I mean, it's usually as soon as you get the message, you're like, all right, well, bye. I mean, it's usually as long, as soon as you like get the message, you're like, all right, well, bye. I mean, it's,

it sucks, but no matter what they reply, I don't get into a conversation. In the early days, I let an in-person self dump get out of hand and he ended up crying and saying he needed therapy, which was kind of thrilling, but ultimately, but on my capacity,

this person's a psycho. Every time I do this, I feel a little better. It's as if I'm writing a letter to myself that says you are too substantial to melt gently away when someone is done with you like obviously this person is obsessed with themselves and etc part of why i insist upon behavior that other people would find embarrassing is that i want to remind myself that i have worth there's an older school of thought around sex and dating that sometimes makes me think well you went out with

this man and he had sex with him without getting a commitment so what did you think would happen Okay, that's true. Everyone is entitled to basic decency. But I don't know. It is also this weird idea, though. It's almost like implying that, like, sex is still a commitment. You know? I really encourage communication.

Yeah. No, I mean, you're right. Obviously, this would all be avoided if it was just communicated properly. Yeah. If you know that if you have sex with someone and then you don't hear from them again, that's going to really, like, impact you, avoided if it was just communicated properly if you know that if you have sex with someone and then you don't hear from them again that's going to really like impact you you have to have that

conversation before you fuck you know you have to be like listen if we fuck and you want to bounce after that that's going to be hard for me to recover from just so we're clear ahead of time yeah do you know what i mean absolutely you just literally just say like i got a problem with being ghosted if we could just like be on the level so that you can get out of this but i just need you to be like just even make a fucking safe word make a breakup safe word for god's sakes you heard it here first you're right tanya i don't know i mean there probably are things we're gonna have to learn To figure out how to navigate post pandemic Whenever that might be

I mean I'm kind of living like it is at this point I drove across the fucking country But And like the farther I got From here the Actually it was weird like mask culture was just different Everywhere it was pretty weird Yeah

But yeah I don't see a mask anywhere now do y'all absolutely not including on these mugs look at this yeah look at us who'd have thunk it blast blast each other from particles yeah house full of covid no um i don't know yeah this sounds demented especially like sounds like he got tired of uh cooking pancakes well it sounds yeah i'm not defending jesse sounds like he sucks they this yes the thing is that both of these people sound like they say yeah and we're not even sure neither of them are real yeah one of them doesn't a computer this. This is all computer generated. You called it. There was like errors in it.

There is not a grown person that refers to themselves as the necromaster, the vanquisher of men. If that were true, that would definitely be you. Yeah, exactly. I'm not even that crazy. And this isn't witchcraft. Nothing described here is magical. No. This is not magic.

No. I mean, I hate to be be like this is magic and this isn't That's a slippery slope Are you gatekeeping magic? Wow Gatekeeping magic Well I will say you know It's the rule of threes If she's using magic to hurt this man

That's going to come back threefold Oh yeah It's nice to take back control to demand respect even if it makes me seem crazy it reminds me that i'm real worthwhile and alive it's okay with me if afterward the person i was dating goes back to being weightless formless imaginary weightless formless imaginary i don't get any of this sounds kind of like she's admitting this person doesn't exist i don't know yeah it's a little bit of a freudian slip there isn't it yeah right no right right well uh anyways um yeah like

tanya said just communicate just give a chit chat and usually like i'm trying to remember i'm sure i've been ghosted but i can't remember uh i mean i know i'm sure i have two or at least i didn't feel like it was ghosting but i mean at this point when when people treat me badly i just i'm like well obviously i don't need these people around me yeah like i just immediately i'm like this is not not that i'm not pissed i have a a terrible temper. Worse every day. Just, I, well,

I'm not, I'm not holding on to anger like I used to, but I am just quick to be mad. I had a lot of hate in my heart. That's just all there is to it. Well, um, maybe in the post pandemic,

now let it go. You can write an article for glamor about that and, you know, make, take some liberties with the personnel. Exercise some of those feelings, and yes, take liberties with personnel. They'd probably run it. Could I call myself a necromancer,

witch of the wood? Yeah, you could. For sure. What does the word necromancer mean? I think it means you raise the dead. Yeah, someone who summons or raises the dead. Oh, right, because she said she made a ghost appear. Yeah.

That's clever. I'll give her that. Well, I think that this, yeah. I mean, because fiction is dead, everything now has to be written as that kind of thing. The reason you opened the Mount Eagle and Sam Adams has written something that reads like In Cold Blood by Truman Capote. Yeah. Arguably Harper Lee.

Right, right. Yeah, you're right. Well, all right. Well, that about covers it for today. Like I said, I read that in May And I was like, damn Gotta save that for when Tanya gets back Thank you for

It's got everything It's got everything one would need Pancake hate All of it Yeah, sorry I was gone so long, you guys But I had to help my sister move across the country It is what it is. Sometimes it be like that.

Well, next time, instead of ghosting your audience, why don't you communicate with them? I'm going to send a message. Before they're sending me traumatized messages at 3 a.m. I'm pretty sure I did communicate on this very show that I was going to be out. I know. I'm sure you did, too.

I don't know. I can't fucking turn messages off i have to have facebook messenger on for this group that i'm in i mean and so i can't don't worry about what it is don't ask any questions but but it means i get troville's messages too and so like on my phone will pop up yeah quite where's tanya just like fuck off somebody somebody some somebody's been sending like these like weirdly aggressive like messages like replies on twitter it's like drill bays are completely rudderless it's like saying that we're like spreading like russiagate conspiracy i was like what that well that's true i mean that i will i will concede

that i am i am you oh yeah that's right you are notoriously a russiagator yeah yeah and a russian agent i spread disinformation you're wearing red right now that's right oh my god what does rudderless mean just referring to the rudders of a ship oh we're just spinning in circles we're not going anywhere again it's all been in the brochure from jump street if i were being honest yeah yeah speaking of the brochure uh go to patreon.com slash trailbilly workers party p-a-t-r-e-o-n.com slash trailbilly workers party you can sign up we're about to record another episode and that episode will be on Patreon.

Hey, I'll be there too. So go sign up. Let's see. You can test for yourself how more deranged we get. Because we're about to smoke a joint. That's right. And I'll just say like

it would be a great welcome home for me and it's my birthday month. It's officially Trillbilly season, my friends.uly august september is trill billy season because it's my birthday then tom's birthday then terrence's birthday and as we pointed out our initials also go tr tstt in succession yeah quench wow yeah so it is yeah it's opposite sequence fuck It's like a cross Yeah You know what we should do this trivially season Is give the birthday girl

And then the birthday boys The full Patreon cut The month of their birth Interesting I don't know We'll talk to management We'll talk to management See that we'll talk to management see what aaron has to say about it when's aaron's birthday um i'm not sure when aaron's birthday is

check on that oh yeah i need to pull his whole chart actually um yeah welcome me home by subscribing to our patreon please and. And my Patreon. Yeah. My titties are over there. Lonely. Lonely titties. That's the loneliest thing in the world, honestly. God. Titties. The loneliest titty.

Of all the things, it should never be lonely. All right. All right. Well, we'll see you over on the Patreon. Bye. See you later.