Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 206: The Solomon Four

Episode Date: July 8, 2021

This week we tell the tale of Whitesburg's very own Solomon Four, and then round everything out with another Conversation with Bret and Gail Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

She doesn't even care anything about toys And she'll play tug-of-war with the puppy Ain't that sweet? How's that sound? Sounds good Does it sound normal? Yeah, sounds good Alright, so I have a

Kind of a funny story for you guys Can't wait So I went to go buy a new phone A few weeks ago I guess it was like two weeks ago And I went over to norton to do it and like the at&t store there if you ever get the chance to go the operation they're running over there is pretty funny go talk at it it was it's three guys one of which

sits there and does the paperwork at the computer. One of which another of which runs all the errands, like goes and fetches the stuff from the back and brings it up. And he's like the bitch. They just like rag on him the whole time. I hate being in that position. I've been in that position many times.

Getting ganged up on by two. If there's three, at some point you're going to get ganged up on by the other two. That's true. Are you saying that's what's going on now with this three? Yeah.

I'm definitely the little bitch. You think you're the little bitch? I've been the little bitch. Do we all think we're the little bitch of this operation? Every episode, we should have a hat. Somebody wears the little bitch hat.

A little dunce hat and has to record in the corner. Okay. While the other two just bust has to record in the corner. Okay. While the other two just bust their balls. Oh. So, yeah. So, there was the guy, like I said, doing the paperwork and, you know, filling out all the shit. There was the guy running the errands.

And then there was a third guy. He was actually the only one wearing a uniform. But he just sat there and told dirty stories the whole time like jokes or just like details about a sex lie both mostly details about his sex wow i bet i would not get the same experience probably not well i'll tell you why i said this actually this actually uh makes the story make more sense. So I went in there to buy a new phone. Because mine's pretty old.

I got like an iPhone 7 or some shit. Yeah, I did too. I just upgraded. Yeah, so like I... Did you get the 12? I got the 11. The 12 was too expensive. I couldn't do it. Yank.

So I went in there and I was like, well, what's the difference? Because they got the iPhone 12 and the iPhone 12 Pro Max or whatever. And I was like, what's the difference? And the guy that was telling and I was like, well, what's the difference? Because they got the iPhone 12 and the iPhone 12 Pro Max or whatever. And I was like, what's the difference? And the guy that was telling the stories was like, man, the difference is, is that every guy that comes in here driving a big truck leaves with one of the iPhone 12 Max or whatever. And I was like.

Oh, my God. He thought you wanted to be a guy with a big truck. Well, I asked him, I was like, why? And he's like, because it makes things look bigger. I don't know if that's true of cell phones. Oh, the camera on it. You can zoom really far in and stuff, I guess. Oh, my God. He tried to sell you the new iPhone on better dick pics.

Well, it made me question. I was like, do I look like a guy with a small dick? And it also. You had a whole existential crisis. Yeah, it put me in the dilemma because I was like i can't buy the 12 max but because then i'll look like i have a small dick but and i want that extra camera power camera power you won't be able to make a film like uh sean baker make tangerine on one of those yeah or like a steven soderbergh movie yeah terence is gonna make a film about fly mold with his camera phone well i mean so i couldn't decide what to do yes it's a

more because not only yeah yeah you go there and say yeah i'm i'm a filmmaker and that's like i need the 12 max not because i have a small dicks because i'm a filmmaker like sure buddy i know what you're thinking i know what you're thinking but i'm just a filmmaker. Like, sure, buddy. I know what you're thinking. I know what you're thinking, but I'm just a filmmaker. No, it was a dilemma, because, yeah, I didn't want the guys to think that I had a small dick. But, yeah,

I wanted the better camera power and the more memory space. It's got bigger memory as well. Yeah. So it was a true dilemma, so you had to go with the Android. What? Android?

You're a green text guy. We couldn't even take the joke. We were so offended. I was not ready to accept that. You have ruined our group chats, you son of a bitch. Oh, boy. No, I thought it would be funny, though, if I did tell that as the punchline and let it go. But then someone in public saw me with the iPhone 12 Pro

or Max or whatever. Let me say that. That's not that big. So now I should think that if people have a 12 Max, they got a little dick. That's a good size phone. It's not the size of the phone that matters.

It's the motion of the... It's the camera power. It's the camera power. Tom Ketchup. It's the motion of the lenses. But that guy, though, it was funny because as I sat there doing all the paperwork and stuff, he was just telling story after story. He was like, well, you know, Sheila texted me or something like that.

I'm like, man, I had her. It was my mom. Yeah. Your mom. It was literally your mother. Maybe. Very well, maybe. And he just tell, like, you know, you ever heard stories that guys tell that you know are not true?

Like, oh, I had her in the hot tub. We do it twice a week right here. Twice a week. I tell. Sex stories are not true. I'm like, oh, I had her in the hot tub. We do it twice a week right here. I tell them. Sex stories are different. No, I don't... Yeah. I get a call from a friend of mine about every other morning

in college. And every other morning it's like, man. I gotta tell you about it. Since college he's been keeping this up it's just really been heavy in the last couple months but it's always like man i gotta tell you about this chick i took down last night it's like we it's like we haven't missed a beat you know what i mean chopped her knees off murdered her bro she's dead. Actually, could you help me bury her body? I'm trying to dissolve it.

This chick is the hottest chick I've ever taken down. Number one. It's like, yeah, okay. At 36, you've picked out my hottest chick you've ever taken down. Okay. Yeah, I don't know.

Well, I thought you were going to tell us a good one about new mexico well new mexico was new mexico was pretty fun good um yeah it was it was pretty fun got back in on monday went to tom's house tom has the weirdest visitors seriously you have the weirdest visitors while we were there two bounty hunters came by yeah it's true two bounty hunters came tom yeah looking for who they showed me a picture of this truck and said this woman's on the run from california i said i haven't seen that truck sorry they just knocked on your door just randomly yeah one of them looked like, I don't know how I can put this delicately, but you know the guys, like the white guys that wear the flat bills

and like the oversized jean shorts and like, you know, they like. Listened to Eminem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That looked like, you know, they were in third base in 94 or something like that. Yeah, one of them was like that, and the other one was like this cock diesel black guy that had, he had like the Walker Texas Ranger star dangling from his neck. Oh my God, a medallion. And he had a hat that said like fugitive catcher.

Yeah, fugitive catcher or something like that. Jesus. And they just knocked on your door and you answered? Well, I just opened it. I didn't know what was going on. Yeah, we were about to walk outside. Oh, wow. I was standing right by the door.

It sounded like I could just be like... It was me and Tom and then on the other side of the door was our doppelgangers as bounty hunters. What if we would have shown up and just matched their energy? You know what I mean? Wow. I mean? Wow.

I mean, you live in a duplex. Did they knock on the neighbor's door, too? Yeah, I think so. Then I went out about an hour later. They didn't make much progress. I went out an hour later, and they were talking to my next-door neighbor. Jesus. He's like the kind of liberal that would give them up, though.

Yeah. Like, tell them everything he knows about that. Yeah. Yeah. Like, tell him everything he knows about that. Yeah. You know, he's got a, he's a older, white, super liberal gentleman with, like, a koi pond in his backyard. Yeah.

So, you know, he was telling, he was dropping by. Well, but there's also, like, a sheriff that comes by your house periodically. You just have the strangest guests. I was looking for somebody that used to live at my house. Oh, wow. Yeah. Well, that's to hear the neighbors tell it i've never opened the door for this sheriff but they do show up periodically yeah i've just never been home when i came home yeah well it was a good it was a good trip um you know uh the desert is the place to be i think i don I mean, it's just, you can see the sun.

You can see the horizon. Two things you can't see here. Big sky. Big old sky out there. I used to like to watch, when I lived in Nevada, I used to like to watch thunderstorms in the desert. It's pretty neat to actually see them. You can watch them in the distance. It's really nice for sure

um but yeah i know i don't know it's a good trip i don't know we'll talk about it on the there's a there's a specific thing i wanted to talk about on the trip but i kind of want to save it for the patreon nice little teaser yeah a little bonus content tease that's right um but yeah what's up with you guys anything interesting happened while it's gone i heard a fake ambulance was coming to town and rounding up well the mayor died well the mayor yeah the mayor died i saw that r.i.p jw craft how was the funeral it was nice it was you know it was well attended it's good singing um it was, it was like, you know, they did at the gymnasium, and it was like midday.

So, you know, it's like I didn't pack it out or anything. It was, you know. Well, let me get your all's take on this. I was, multiple people I've talked to in town want his wife to take over. I look for something like that to happen. I don't know who would run I guess next year. Because she's probably been running it

most of this time, right? I don't know. But that's what happened in Hazard. Remember when Gorman died? Yeah, Nate Gorman took over. Yeah, his wife took over. I mean, it could I mean, I don't know.

That'd probably be the best case scenario. The worst case scenario would be as outlined by Tom to me yesterday, we get a tyrant in there. A tyrant. Imagine that. Oh, well. That is possible. Listen. I mean, the one thing you say about James Wiley is he kept, there was a program.

You know what I mean? In his old age, he was a yes man. He became a yes man. He became a yes man. Sure, we'll try. Why not? Yeah. But also, like,

was never one of these fee-grabbing-ass towns where, like, you know, he actually told the police not to be riding a bunch of speeding tickets or anything like that. He actually didn't want to.

But in his old age, as a young man, he was pretty bad. Yeah. I mean, he got debarred. Yeah. Oh, well.

He was a crook from way back. But I will say, yeah, his second family life around, he seemed a lot happier, a lot more chill. Look, people are complicated. You can't judge them by four decades of their life. I mean, he'll always be a real one for how he got caught cheating. That's the best cult That's the best. That's the best story I ever heard.

In his office? Oh, no. Oh, no. We've told it on here. Surely. You don't know what he did? Maybe I do. I don't remember.

He was at a UK basketball game. Oh, yes. And his wife was having a party in their house watching the game. And he's on the goddamn kissing cam with his mistress in his lap rip r.i.p pour one out that's you was running our town's administrative that's awesome i've got his cell phone number and i worry that i won't have the next mayor's cell phone number no you won't he was uh was, I worry about that too just in terms of,

you know. One time I was talking to him and he couldn't hear a lick. He couldn't hear shit. And he didn't know what I was saying. And he looked at Tom and he said,

do I owe her money? I was just going off on one. I don't even know what the fuck I was talking about. He's just like that. He couldn't hear nothing. I was saying, off on one I don't even know what I'm talking about He's just like He couldn't hear nothing I was saying You know what

You remember that He's fucking But everything I asked him to do in person He did it I always had to catch him on a smoke break, which he took many smoke breaks a day. Yeah, no, he was good for that. That's something I think underappreciated is that, you know, I'll miss that kind of, you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, he has yelled at me and grew up from well

from across two streets before to tell me he did the thing that i asked him to do yeah i got that done for you yeah he aimed to please yeah well i'm like the position of mayor in american politics is pretty fascinating i mean you can usually get some good... Like, you know, Jerry Springer was a mayor. He was mayor of Cincinnati. Really? Until, yeah. And he made the mistake of signing a check for some services rendered.

What was it? That's how he got, I think, the scandal that really took his seat. He had patronized a sex worker and wrote a check signed his name to it and from the city thank for it with the city check i don't know if it's from the city check i just think he just put his name on the check yeah it may have been from the i don't know but you know yeah um i don't know yeah you can you can get... I mean, because the position of mayor allows...

It allows for some idiosyncrasies, some idiosyncratic people to kind of take it. You can be a socialist, like the potential new mayor of Buffalo. Or you can be James Wiley Craft. Or you could be... A chain-smoking. You could be Tim Baker. Who's Tim tim baker who's tim baker you know chuck

norris that ran last time that said his remediation plan for the north fork was to dump sand in there oh my god oh oh this brings something up okay one thing that happened since we last talked was uh my family got together for the first time since the pandemic for fourth of july nice it was it was really fun but my cousin i found out of many fun cousins and one of my cousins told me that it's we're in leslie county where they live he said that he has seen with his own eyes a uh a forestry service or u.s something service map detailing how they're going to damn up all of leslie county and make it a lake oh my god i wouldn't doubt it i know and i was like damn dude i joke about that all the time how they're just gonna make a turn us into a fucking lake for lexington so they're literally eastern kentucky is going to become it's going to be

used to make lexington lakefront property absolutely and he was like oh they already got it wrote up i've seen it i've seen a lot of people said that yeah yeah but i thought that was pretty fun i was in leslie county today i went to uh gabe's branch oh did you yeah well i came up real early oh is it leslie county yeah it is technically yeah and then it was i went over there and they've totally instead of like a little off the beaten path like swimming hole now they've put it in the damn tourism brochure the statewide tourism and over there they got a big sign they got blazes all the shit now they got a big sign. They got blazes, all the shit now. They got a big sign that says, don't be a litter bug. And it's like a little beetle. Oh, my God.

Japanese beetle or ladybug or whatever. I'd love to be able to litter there without consequences. Now I can't. It said, don't be a litter bug. And I looked around. There was about four or five burn piles of trash that people camped down in there and stuff. And it's like, man. Dude, that sucks.

So they got a big parking lot now and everything? It's not really a parking lot. They ain't really done nothing to the road. It was hard to get up in there, but man, it was fucking annoying. It's like, and there were people there. I was like, ugh. I was thinking about riding over there

in a couple weeks. So it's on the Harlan-Leslie line? I didn't realize it was that far in there. On the Leslie side, yeah. It's not that far. It's about an hour from here. Hmm. Yeah.

Well. Speaking of mayor. All right. I kind of had something I wanted to do today. But we can actually. That was my phone that was ringing. I was going to say, I don't know what the hell. I don't know what that noise is

I'm not figuring this thing out yet We haven't done a We'll save it for a little bit later We haven't done a Brett and Gail in a long time Somebody sent me a pretty good speak your pace Have you seen speak your pace? For this week? Yeah

I read it this week Someone took the opportunity to use the collapse of that Miami condo. That's the one I got. That's the one I have to text message. I gave it to Tom. Let him read it. Let Tom read it off. Have you seen this?

No. It was one of the only good ones. There wasn't a lot of good ones this week. Buckle up, buddy. Oh, boy. So fucking ridiculous. a lot of good ones this week. Buckle up, buddy. Oh, boy. Condolences to the families in Florida who lost their loved ones when the building fell. The foundations of all those buildings

need to be checked. Reminds me of the foundations in our churches. They need to figure out what they're built of and what they stand on. Is it the gospel truth? Is it built on rock or is it built on sand?

Or do they welcome me into those churches? God bless America, but the building in Florida isn't the only one in danger of falling. God damn. Holy shit. The stretch. This absolute mon Holy shit. The stretch. This absolute

monocle. I love that. That is maybe the best pivot in history though. And just reminds me of And that ain't the only building whose

foundations need to be checked. So do our churches. Someone tried someone absolutely tried to pass it off for a sermon on a sunday morning or just trying to fit that into these current events preachers yeah they try to just they see

a news item and think how can i relate this to how the church is actually has the church ever been doing good not according to the church like an endless well of content is just how the church is like falling away and that everything's bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never been to church when they were like, everything's good in the world today.

Because they need you to be paying for the afterlife. That's true. Christians love those kinds of symbols. Like houses being washed away on a sandy beach. Yeah. My church, they'd see one of these buildings that got the foundation up, but they just quit working on it and been sitting there for a few months. They'd always work at it until one of the sermons.

The body of Christ in today's church is like that building of our own line fort. They just started building, got the foundation up. That's it. But this one is especially interesting because it's like 150 people died or something, right? Like an insane amount.

Like, yeah. Was it that many? Well, the morning after there was like one person died and everybody was like, ah, and then like the more they're uncovering, it's like just more and more people.

Yeah. Maybe then, I don't know. I, I, God, do then the more they're uncovering, it's just more and more people. Yeah, maybe that. I don't know. How do you see that? And everybody didn't die in that. Yeah, I don't know. It's one of those stories that if it was at any other. I mean, that's interesting.

Because you would think that if something like that happened in the Trump years, it would kind of go down the memory hole really fast. But in Biden years, news is pretty slow. It's not as crazy as it was yeah and it's still kind of just well we're still desensitized to the impact though but things are moving slower right like this doesn't register as like a big tragedy or anything right now with us because we were just used to and biden had a bananas quote about it you see what he said absolute monocle he said this is a great

opportunity for us to show how how together we are as a nation or something crazy like that this is a great opportunity that's what he said about an elder an elder care an elder home his age day yeah collapsing like so even if you didn't die the trauma of that i'm sure there's tons of injuries like 36 deaths so far so far they said one at the beginning yeah or i know i guess it's 46 46 deaths so far but don't forget to build your foundation on solid ground. Solid gospel. Solid gospel. Jesus. It's like when Tom and I went over to the Harlan County coal blockade and that guy had brought all this.

That was really weird. He printed out photos of stuff he had seen on Facebook of clouds in the sky. Do you remember that? He had one Polaroid that was clearly doctored, and he had it in a Ziploc bag. No. He pulled it out

and he said, he said, he presented it as like this was going to blow our mind. No. He pulled a deep fake out of a plastic bag?

Yeah. To show it to you guys? He said, he said, no. I can't handle this. He said, he said,

he said, I haven't showed many people this i've had it since 94 except he had it on him not in his home but he had it in a ziplock rally he unzipped the bag and he pulled it out and it was clearly like a doctored picture like somebody had put an angel in the corner oh you know what i mean yeah well what it was it clearly like a doctored picture, like somebody had put an angel in the corner. Oh my God. You know what I mean? Well, what it was, it looked like a... It was a cloud formation that looked like an angel. An angel, yeah.

But yes, he pulled a deep fake out of a plastic bag. Oh my God. That's incredible. How am I just hearing about this? That was such a crazy event. So many weird things happened at that. So many. That things got buried.

Yeah, it's like, as an archae archaeologist you could just uncover all the layers and like find something weird i love that i love old people printing off internet pages i love it oh man this was like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that was such a that was such a strange thing and i mean tom we're just like oh yeah that's crazy how about would tell him I said, I said, makes you think. Like, we weren't gonna, like, call him.

I don't gotta blow his spot up, man. This is how you two placate me, too. You're like, whew, wow. I say stuff, I think it's just

out there, off the wall, and you're like, wow. That's true. I wasn't gonna say, I wasn't going to say. You're doing the same shit to me. That's crazy, Tonya.

I wasn't going to say, hey, dumb bastard. That's clearly Photoshop. I don't have it in me to correct somebody on something like that, including you. I'm just, wow, Tonya. How about that? He just cuts it out and edits it, and I never know the difference. I never know. Completely oblivious. I never know. Completely oblivious.

I actually don't. Here's my classic. That's wild. That's crazy, man. Nuts. Wow, wow, wow. I'm going to start packing around memes in my wallet. That's what I'm about to start doing.

Oh, that's what it is. Just analog memes. Just whip it out and out be like have you seen this one yeah and it's just like the latest thing going around but you've printed it out for the dairy queen boys yeah or you know how a big thing on the internet it's all i'm having a bad day send me a pic of your pets i start printing out other people's pets and i just roll out one of those granny fucking about my pets i just roll them all out i'm like this is all my friends well there was an obituary for a dog in the newspaper this week what in the speak your piece section oh like they got a picture of it and everything they got a picture in the

speak your piece no it wasn't in speak your piece it was next to the speaker piece section next to the obituaries so a dog made it almost to the obituaries there's a grand dog they were like it survived by its grand puppies survived by its grand puppies yeah wow oh man sister ohmy is light on content this week. I had a dream the other day. Well, I guess we were talking about it in the car and I dreamed about it later. That we bought the Mountain Eagle. And I just remember firing Sam Adams. And then that's all I remember about it.

That's funny. Yeah, because me and Tom have been talking a lot about about that lately and i think it's because yesterday tom pointed out to me all the various like tendrils leading back to solomon branch in whitesburg like out into the world in the out into the world like all the various things that have happened in the world because of Solomon Branch right outside of Whitesburg, Kentucky. Like across from Dairy Queen? Across from the old Dairy Queen, yeah. On this holler. Let me explain to you.

So if you've been listening to this program and you thought, oh, this is cute, but I have no connection to this little place, you couldn't be more wrong. In one of these, we are all connected to it. Every man, woman, and child. Everybody that has ever lived in the history of the world

from the beginning and that will exist is connected to Solomon Branch. Jesus Christ. Growing up on Solomon Branch in the same era, you had... All in the same time period. Best friends growing up on Solomon Branch in the same era you had. All in the same time period.

Best friends growing up, okay? Well, maybe not best friends growing up, but like. Like the movie October Sky. Oh, my God. But for Solomon Branch. Oh, my God. So, you know the Webb Brothers? Yeah.

They developed Lexington and Houston Texas. If you're out there listening to Houston Texas. If you, you know, you had a close call when the hurricane hit and the city was flooding and you couldn't get out, you got Solomon Branch and Whitesburg. Thank you for you had a close call when the hurricane hit and the city was flooding you couldn't get out you got solomon branch and whitesburg to thank for that in a way i didn't know they had developed houston now they developed houston big i mean all over the country big time development yeah other cities too i don't know which but so they all they grew up on solomon branch and also growing up on solomon branch benny bentley who firebombed the mountain eagle backtrack for just a second. The Webb Brothers

also left a massive hole in the city of Lexington. Oh, yeah. The pit. Yeah. They've just now filled with the Marriott or whatever. But for a long time, it was dicey what they were going to do with that. It was just a big skate ditch, basically.

I had a snowball fight in there. People were all the time doing like, what do they call it when they do dances? Flash mob. They were flash mobbing. I did a snowball fight, flash mobbing. I lived there for a short time. What was funny is they always say the Webb Brothers, as if one of them is still alive.

One died decades ago. But they still call him the Webb. But they still, even from the grave, he gets the shit. They didn't drop the S. Yeah. Yeah. Just too much to think about. Well, and also, Benny Bentley, who, you know, works at the fire department now, but as a

teenager, did firebomb the Mountain Eagle. Wait. He's not in jail? No. He's an assistant fire chief. You heard that right the guy who fired on the mountain eagle is now assistant fire chief excuse me he didn't even he only did like six months for that okay he i don't think he did that i think i think he didn't press charge i think he fire bombed the newspaper and went on to

be fire chief no, he's not fire chief, but he's like, you know, he's like got the uniform. He's like an officer in the fire department. He did it because, actually a cop hired him to do it. Yeah. Johnny Cottle. Honest Johnny Cottle. A cop hired him to do it

because the Mount Eagle was reporting on police brutality here. Because like the cops were going around like beating up teenagers they would shoot kids they shot a guy in the leg like shoot to harm a 16 year old christ but anyways the mountain eagle was kept reporting about it and so a cop hired uh benny and a few other kids to firebomb the mountain eagle he must he was probably 19 at the time he was really young yeah yeah and the eagle just didn't press charges he's a minch tom gish was a minch he was a he was a real one yeah i didn't press charges then of course the fourth person that grew up in solomon

was austin napier co-inventor of the hydron collider. What? Yeah. So that's how all of us are connected. The guy who helped discover, what is it, the Higgs boson or something? The Higgs boson particle. I don't even know what you're saying. It makes us all from the foundations of the earth. What? Yeah. The guy that discovered that is from Whitespur.

Grew up on Solomon. Jesus. That's right. Dr. Grew up on Solomon. Jesus. That's right. Dr. Austin Nape. So, yeah. So, one group of friends. One was a... What era?

Arsonist. Two were developers. One was a particle theorist. One identified the particle that imparts mass to atoms. I mean, there's another girl who grew up on Solomon who went to fly in Mark Zuckerberg's jet many times. Really? Yeah. Really?

Anna Richardson. Oh, Anna. Yeah, I know Anna. Also roommates in college are Jennifer Connelly from that movie Blood Diamond. Yeah, she interned for Harry Weinstein. Harvey. Harvey Weinstein. Really? Yeah. Yeah. And now I think she runs Instagram.

Damn. Yeah. Why can't we get a goddamn blue check and we're that close? Yeah, the person running Instagram grew up on Solomon. That would be goddamn. What is it about this little holler? We also got a bangles cheerleader who else we got her husband runs uber i wouldn't the bangles cheerleader

the bangles cheerleader a bangles cheerleader that's believable well well we electric county has a lot to be proud about you think about g about it. Gary Stewart, of course, famously. She's acting single. I'm drinking doubles. Bobby Bear, who sang Kick Me Jesus Through the Gold Posts of Life, went here through the fifth grade. Who else? Well, we do. John Fox Jr., who wrote Little Shepherd of Kingdom Come, which was a New York Times bestseller and later became a movie starring Chill Wills. Of course, Harry Cottle. Harry harry coddle famous eugenics also also also martin van buren bates and his

wife the world's tallest couple up to yeah yeah anna swan was her name i don't want to just call her the martin van buren bates his wife. She was 7'11". God damn. From Canada. Amazing. Nobody stares. Well, the guy who set the rushing record in the NFL Super Bowls for my hometown, Timmy Smith. And we had a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader who was on that show. They did a reality TV show about the Dallas Cowboys. I watched it.

Cowboys cheerleaders. Jordan Chandler. Jordan Chandler. She was on there. Nice. Also, you got Ryan Bingham. You got Ryan Bingham. Singer Ryan Bingham What's his name I guess he was originally from Pike County

Who did the toy drive Marlo Tech I feel like Marlo is pretty I love Marlo The holler Santa Claus Oh also that jet pilot oh francis gary powers that's interesting francis gary powers that is there's a woman a lesbian who went on to be like yeah senator amy mGrath. She's from McRoberts. I can't remember her name.

That is an interesting thing. Yeah, Francis Gary Powers being from Letcher County. Extremely, I don't want to borrow a subliminal jihad phrase, but extremely sus. Pretty sus when you think about it. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Lord, have mercy.

God, I could go on and on. Harmony Corrine's dad Lived here for a little while As did a young Harmony I think someone needs to make that movie though Solomon Branch 4 All the various ways they go Like October Sky

Yeah No set it up It ain't October Sky You have to set it up like now and then Cause you follow them yeah actually now and then what is it about the four girls i'm not seeing it what you could start this movie actually you could start it in the pit in lexington like that could be the opening shot span out or because it it's also commentary on the Hadron Collider. Is everything nothingness?

Jesus. Is it an abyss? Man, that Hadron Collider was a big story that summer. It was like summer 2012, remember? Yeah, they thought that it was going to like open up a portal to another dimension or something. And suck us in a black hole. Who's to say it didn't? I mean, truly.

And wasn't that at the end of the Aztec calendar? There was a lot going on in 2012. Yeah, 2012. It was that John Cusack movie. Why were they running the Hadron Collider? Was that Cusack? Yeah, it was. And Roland Nemrick, the guy who made Independence Day, made that movie.

What movie? 2012. Oh. About the end of the mind calendar. Oh, I haven't seen the movie. That was much ado. Oh. About the end of the Mayan calendar. Oh, I haven't seen the movie. That was much ado about nothing. I just lived through it. Or was it?

Or was it? I don't know. I mean, yeah, you could make the argument that everything got really... Real weird since then. Really weird since then. Absolutely. Yeah, like whose decision was it to run the Hadron Collider the same year that the Mayan calendar ended? That was pretty dicey.

What's the Hadron Collider? What are you even saying? Tanya, it would take two of us. We'd have to give you a whole history of particle theory. Frankly, I'm not credentialed to do that, and I don't have the time. I'm not doing your research, okay? Yeah. I don't have to educate.

Unpaid labor. It's not my job to educate you. It's not my job to educate queer white women on particle theory, okay? It is my birthday month, and I have to be respected in my own home. This is officially Trillbilly season. July, August, September. You're right. It's Trillbilly season, and I'll have my. It's Trillbilly season and I'll have

my dues right now. Thank you. I'm sorry. In any way that you all want to celebrate your birthdays coming up, you have to start by celebrating mine that way. So go ahead and start thinking about how you want to celebrate me. Great hospitality, I have to say. Limoncello is nice. That's the best. I got the best LaCroix on the market.

Okay. You did until Terrence brought the hibiscus. No, that's mine. That's mine. I didn't bring that. Questionable. It's mine. I brought the Cheez-Its. What the hell did he bring over here?

That's a pretty good contribution. Cheez-Its turn up any party. I fucking love Cheez-Its. Okay, if you're going to a party and you don't know what to take, you either take Cheez-Its or up any party. I fucking love Cheez-Its. Okay, if you're going to a party and you don't know what to take, either take Cheez-Its or a jar of pickles. Everybody loves Cheez-Its. Bottle of wine. Can't go wrong.

Bottle of pickles. Bottle of wine. Yeah. Anything fermented, brined, or just Cheez-Its. Just Cheez-Its. You're going to win. Okay, let's check in on Brett and Gail. Oh, God. So they had a conversation this week, but it wasn't that good.

It was about like, I don't know. It left much to be desired. The Solomon 4. It was about the Solomon 4. But this one is more about, I don't really understand this whole Mike Pence thing that they're talking about. So this will actually be my first time really hearing about it, but this one has some good mayoral content in it. Oh, I haven't heard Mike Pence's name in a while.

Yeah. It's a run for mayor of Indianapolis. Oh, God. No, he's going to go in and run for mayor of South Bend. Oh, my God. To troll. Back-to-back gay mayors so progressive little south bend um okay so yeah let's check in on gail and brad we got to set this

conversation wall up um you can use my phone if you want. Hit the X real fast. I got it. I did it. Okay. Don't give it away. You have to find out. They don't know by now. This one is called, The Mike Pence Saga Tells Us More Than We Want to Know. Oh, God. This is the June 28th, 2021 version of the conversation. Let's set this one at,

let's set it in Solomon Branch. You're Gail and Brett. 1967. We're going to go back in time using the Hadron Collider to have this conversation in the year 1973, the year that the Mountain Eagle was firebombed.

We could have stopped it, but Brett didn't want to and yeah yeah gail actually well anyways gail talks in one of her recent conversations about how her dad like sold fireworks or something like that so i don't know kind of of an interesting... How corn-fed of her. That's right. So anyways, yeah, we're in Solomon Branch. It's the year 1973. Gail and Brent, they're talking about Mike Pence. They're talking about mayoral candidates in the left. Scene? Action? Go for it.

Hi, Gail. I was hoping to pick up where we left off last week with the New York City mayoral primary and our new ranked choice voting system. Assuming Eric Adams holds on to his lead, what do you think his win will say about the state of the city and of the Democratic Party? Brent, this is why I love conversing with you. I've been hearing Republicans howl. A normal thing people say. Yeah, conversing.

I love conversing with you guys You know what I love about this? They clearly just email some lines back and forth They print this up and these people make a beaucoup money I mean this is definitely done over Slack This is absolutely done over Slack I've been hearing Republicans How about the negotiations

With Joe Biden on spending, and I was dreading a discussion on that subject. Biden gets out a little over his skis with a dumb remark, publicly admits he's screwed up, pledges to keep his word on a bipartisan bill. Imagine that. Well, the city election is definitely a more interesting topic, and I can see why Eric Adams intrigues you. He's a black former police officer who ran on his crime fighting skills. You sound like a Marvel character. Like he's got an M spot.

Politically, he's a moderate by New York standards anyway. And talking with his supporters after the vote, I did get the impression that some were most concerned with blocking off my Wiley. Is that how you say her name? I think so, yeah. The only real lefty with a chance of winning. There's an ad. How many fucking people are running

for New York City Mayor? There was like seven or eight. Including one guy named Paperboy Prince. That's who I was going for. Paperboy! Paperboy. You got's who I was pulling for. Paperboy! Paperboy. You got a little bit more there. Yeah, you got a little more, Gail.

Oh, I see, I see. Exciting. Of course, while the left was getting bad news in New York City, regular Buffalo Democrats were discovering their longtime mayor had lost the primary to a black female socialist. Hoping to hear a lot more discussion about India Walton as we slowly make our way through this political year. That's the most passive-aggressive thing.

Hoping to hear a lot more discussion about her. It's just like... Yeah, not hoping to hear more from her, hoping to hear more people talk about her. Yeah, oh, totally. Right, you're right. I don't want to hear from you. I want to hear gossip about you, bitch.

We want to hear people talk about you. I want to hear more about your welfare, queen, totally. Right, you're right. Don't want to hear from you. Want to hear gossip about you, bitch. We want to hear people talk about you. I want to hear more about your welfare, queen, shit. Nothing is for sure yet in New York City. Thanks to our new preferential voting system, we may not get the final word on who won the primary for ages. But if it's Adams, it couldn't send a cheerful message to people like chuck schumer who's up for re-election next year there's been speculation about whether schumer might be challenged by a progressive new system or not i still don't understand why it should take forever to know

the results of a municipal election but i'll be happy if adams holds on to his lead for lots of reasons. He should flip a coin. Like the famous Whitesburg, Kentucky 2000. Sacagawea Quarter. 12. I listened to that on the AM radio. That's so embarrassing. One good reason to cheer on Adams' victory is that it would demonstrate yet again that the Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez left doesn't represent the Democratic base.

Defund the police is not a working class interest. Jesus. I want to interject here for just a second. It's interesting to see. So when people first started saying this, I was like, okay, I guess I can see. Defund the police or when people first started saying when they first started saying this exact line that uh defund the police is not a working class interest that it's not popular that it's divisive because you know they started saying it right before the election last year i mean it's interesting though

now to see people parrot that like it's it it is that way because they say it's that way. Like, these people have absolutely no knowledge or actual connection to working class communities. Well, I want to make a parallel to it, but I think we might get into your piece you wrote for the Baffle this week, maybe in the Patreon or something. But I don't even think this actually made it off the cutting room for maybe you didn't include it in that piece but you had told me about interviewing

certain liberals and you do touch on in the piece about like how they went in cheerleading you know like like yeah the sort of punitive nature of like the opioid crisis or whatever and that kind of i mean i think there's like a parallel to be drawn here because like affluent liberals are the ones that say i defund the police is not a working class demand like they're the arbiters of working class thought because they belong to the same party that the working class has historically voted for right right right yeah yeah i mean to them in their minds it gives them some sort of like mouthpiece like right yeah but it's like it's just they just made that up they have absolutely no empirical data or evidence

to support no evidence they just know they want their property protected by this paramilitary force that we all put the bill for right uh yeah but having unarmed trained mediators who could respond to complaints like family fighting might get a good response you know i used to think that was a good idea then several of our readers explained to me that family altercations are often violent and require more than a social worker so he's never packed ass whooping from a cousin i see you know the people have explained it to me now somebody told me seems as if though that sometimes this can get violent they can get carried away and he's just shitting on social workers for real most family altercations require more than a social worker it's an honestly amazing

admission yeah yeah several readers have explained to me that family altercations can be violent it's like if you've not had to hog tie a drunk uncle what is what kind of life do you live yeah have you never seen a violent family altercation that was handled by other family members not armedias. I'm not getting into this because Tom and I got into this two weeks ago. Oh, about getting your ass whipped? We spent 48 hours getting screamed at for mentioning that. For admitting y'all both got your ass whipped. I will not even float the possibility that family violence happened. I'm not even going to, yes, I'm not even going to mention it.

Getting back to working class interests. Blocking Amazon and the thousands of jobs it would have brought to Queens was not pro-worker. Nor does it help the working class to deny parents who can't afford to send their kids to Dalton the school... Wait, hold on a second. Nor does it help the working class to deny parents who can't afford to send their kids to Dalton the school choice they need when it comes to getting a better education

for their children. The public school issue is so important and so complicated, Brett. You want to make sure it's always open to reform and improvement. Still, you don't want to create a system that allows canny parents to get

to get terrific options for their own kids while reducing public pressure for all-around quality education but go on my bottom line is that democratic socialism might be cool with pampered NYU undergrads but it isn't going to help people who aren't partying in Washington Square Park. So hooray for Adams and all middle-of-the-road Democrats. In the meantime, our mutual friend Donald Trump is on the rally circuit again. Wow. I watched his speech over the weekend. I guess it was a sort of return to national politics. Trump's been off the trail since January.

When his attempt to convince the world he didn't lose the election led when his attempt to a bloody riot a bloody riot when his attempt to convince the world he didn't lose the election led to a bloody riot no violence this time in fact the whole thing was one big snooze hard to imagine him really making a comeback but also hard to imagine who'd be coming next can't really picture a president mike pence you know i probably spend more time thinking about mike pence than i ought to given my high blood pressure interesting fret very interesting you know i probably spend more time thinking about mike pence than I ought to,

given that I'm a married man. Very interesting. He reminds me of Mr. Collins, the unctuous clergyman in Pride and Prejudice, who's always bowing and scraping to the overbearing, tasteless, talentless Lady Catherine de Boer, who he lords it over the Bennett family, who he lords it over the Bennet family, while he lords it over the Bennet family, because he stands to inherit their estate. Great reference, honestly.

Alternatively, Pence could be a character out of Dickens with some ridiculous name like Wackford Squeers or Mr. Pumblechook. Great. Oh, man. Wow. Great analogies, Trent. Just gale, man. Wow. Great analogies, Trent. Just gale, just regaled. She's been regaled.

Plus, it is indeed possible you spend more time thinking about Pence than you ought to. Here's a guy who makes his career on the moral majority wing of the republican party until he hitches his wagon to the most immoral man ever to win a big ticket presidential nomination phyllis schlafly decided to elope with larry flint deciding to elope with larry flint would have made more sense oh my god then we're great references oh man he man. He's all over the cultural references. Then Pence spends four years as the most servile, toadying, obsequious, fawning, head-nodding, yes-sir-ing, anything-you-say boss, vice president in history. He'll do anything for Trump's love, but not as the singer Meatloaf might have said. Attempt to steal the presidential election in broad daylight no he won't do that oh my god i have lived a little bit for this trump awards

pence by throwing him to a mob which tried to hunt him down and hang him but even now pence can't get crosswise with his dark lord so the idea of him ever taking the party in an anti-Trump fashion direction. What am I? Duh. So the idea of him ever taking the party in an anti-Trump direction seems like a fantasy. It's the heir of Solomon Branch. It's getting to you, Brittany. It's all right.

Yeah, it's the firebomb smoke. Right, right. You've convinced me that Pence is too much of a wimp to rebel, but you can never tell. Look what happened to Mitt Romney. Well, unlike Pence, Romney's a true Christian with actual principles. As for Nikki Haley,

Are Mormon Christians? I guess I never thought of it as Mormon. Is it a sect of Christianity? I would follow it under apostate Christianity. I mean, they do have the most badass Christian belief, which is that they think Jesus Christ came to North America. Pretty tight, honestly.

They do? Yes. Incredible. I would say that John Q. Christian does not consider Mormons Christians. Yeah, you're right. But also, John Q. Christians doesn't consider Catholics Christians. Catholics either. Yeah.

Also has some interesting views about our Jewish friends. As for Nikki Haley, I just don't see her winning the Republican nomination. She's just not Trumpy enough. My bet is on the governor of Florida, Ron DeSantis, with Senator Tim Scott of South Carolina as his best presidential nominee. Crazy? Crazy? Oh, God, what a combo.

I hear there's a ron be gone movement in florida maybe they can combine it with a tim don't get in or just not scott yeah just get dropping napalm on these hoes yeah fucking them up man damn don't give a fuck you know desantis is a very shrewd guy you know he's made a point of staying close to Trump personally. And he's also been very good at baiting the media. His handling of the pandemic was better than most liberals will ever give him credit for. Okay, I just want to point this out. I just want to point this out.

The man had spring break 2020. Yeah, yeah. Literally. That was like March. i watched a news story that said every spring breaker in florida could be responsible for a viral chain that could cause 80 000 infections every single one and this man said you know we have to return to normal four weeks into the pandemic also correct, correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it Florida where they

arrested that woman who had worked in the Florida state government who was tracking their COVID database? That was in Florida, right? It may have been. I'm like 95% positive. Oh my god.

Better than most liberals will ever give him credit for. Because unlike Andrew, I'm still standing Cuomo, he made a point of protecting nursing homes. Oh, my God. Yeah, Rebecca Jones. Florida agents raid home of Rebecca Jones, former state data center. Yeah.

Because she was clocking the COVID numbers? Yeah, she worked for the state government. Because DeSantis was a little better on nursing homes. He deserves all the credit in the world. With Scott on the ticket, he could also peel off some of the black vote. Jesus. They're disease.

Or at least make white suburban voters feel comfortable about voting for a gop ticket that progressives will inevitably attack as racist of course none of this will stop trump from turning on de santa's feet decides to run again in 2024 and i have to assume there are skeletons in the governor's closet in the words of the immortal beetle song everybody's got something to hide except me and my monkey. Jesus. Just good. Right now, the only thing we're thinking about in DeSantis State is the terrible condo collapse near Miami. There are going to be lots of questions about how that disaster came to be and the government's role in ensuring public safety.

We're also thinking about that over here on Solomon Branch, specifically in relation to churches. You know, it's so heartbreaking. I have my own memories of what it's like from having lived through the... Oh, my God. From having lived through the, how do you say, the earthquake in Distrito Federal. There is no fucking way brett like experienced a fraction of a fraction if he even was in mexico city and he grew up a little bit there i think he did right but there's no way that he experienced he literally says i have my own memories of what it's like

absolutely insane but like the way he i'm just saying like the way he words this go ahead like the way he words is he he does he is careful not to say i witnessed people dying in the earthquake or i was scared he's saying i have my own memories of what it's like from having lived through the Mexico earthquake, which killed thousands of people and flattened a lot of buildings. In the vicinity of my dad's office. Is what he says. I don't know. Interesting omissions. Hard to think

of a more awful way to go. But I'd hate to see the issue politicized. Buildings collapse in cities and states run by Democrats too. Like that Hard Rock Hotel in New Orleans a couple years ago. Which, mind you you they were building they did not build it and it collapsed it collapsed in the middle of them building it which is not good i'm not saying that but that's very different than moving people into a facility

and then it collapsing on them right and it's also weird because like new orleans might be run by a democrat but the state of state of Louisiana is run by like, just in the most insane, like, you know, it's like Bobby Jindal for a while. I don't know if he's awesome. Mob.

I hate to say collapsing infrastructure be used to discuss collapsing infrastructure. Yeah, that's right. It's absolute insanity, but good point says Gail. You will remember DeSantis is also the guy who's been fighting against vaccine requirements on cruise ships. Sounds like an unreasonable government restriction on private enterprise trying to make the rules for what's allowed on their premises.

By the way, I'm increasingly of the view that Medicare and health insurance companies should refuse to underwrite treatment for any non-vaccinated people who wind up getting sick. People who take unreasonable private risks shouldn't be allowed to socialize the cost of consequences. What do you think? When said unvaccinated people get sick, they're going to need medical care. care, which, if they're uninsured and of low income, is going to have to be taken care of by the taxpayer unless the hospitals are directed to refuse to admit the unvaccinated critically

ill. That is like, honestly, that's like some, like, William F. Buckley, let's tattoo HIV patients. That is a shit. Yeah, it is a very niche position. We should not treat people if they have not been vaccinated.

If you show up sick, you should be treated. Regardless of how, why, whatever. We don't need any more evidence to prove we have the sickest, nastiest, most evil health system. But it's got an added layer of inhumanity to it. Because it's like, that statement in and of itself would be batshit insane if we had a universal health care system but we don't right right like add on top of that the fact that the system is already is yeah it's so fucking it really satanic it's worse than systems in poor countries where they don't have what they need like they don't have a

system they don't have it to give people right it's worse here we have enough for more than enough to to medicate everybody 10 fucking times yeah we have enough to vaccinate everybody four times and we refuse to them we we do refuse people in emergency rooms even it that is it's such an insanely niche position to take but it's just like something that you that only a pundit who makes way too much money and is not connected in any way to things that happen in the real world could cook up yeah like the william buckley thing yeah yeah true though my scheme would only apply to anti-vaxxers who refuse to get a vaccine not those who just didn't have access to it okay what's the

what's the difference what's the fucking difference it's like you're like you're making punitive intent like it doesn't matter the bottom line is people are vulnerable to this virus whether access or through you know uh convinced by some facebook post they're going to yeah cancer from wait wait read the rest vaccine. Read the rest of this. Read the rest of this paragraph. This is insane. This is amazing. Go for it, Tom.

It's never going to happen for the same reason that we're probably not going to deny coverage for lung cancer patients because they happen to be ex-smokers. Read the next sentence. But I just wish we lived in a country where being willfully dumb was a little more costly. It's already so... Being poor here is the most expensive thing that you can do in America is be poor. That's literally the most expensive thing

you can do in this country is be fucking poor. I would love to stick this fucking cocksucker through his head through a fucking meat grinder. We cannot get through one of these without threatening to kill both of them. Not one yet. We cannot get through one of these without threatening to kill both of them. Not one yet. We threaten their lives

every single time. This is all parody. I'm the director. These two are actors. We're paid actors. We're the actor's studio. I'm a paid crisis actor. Central casting here. Oh my God.

That is so fucking psychotic. I just wish we lived in a country where being willfully dumb was a little more costly. God, read Gale's line. Make being willfully dumb a little more costly. I think you've got a campaign slogan, Brent.

Not, not, not. You're fucking sick in the head, man. Well, it just goes to show you the extent to which this is a parlor room debate literally don't let mike pence get his hands on it that's how they wound this out how did the new york times print this you guys i don't know how many times i've said that out loud but i just sound dumber every time i guess it is absolutely they are these are maniacal people just i do love him admitting that he's never witnessed a family altercation i just i've been told by you they can get violent that is insane to me though like actually game that out humans violent what That is just insane to me, though, that he actively wishes we lived in a society

where if someone you loved smoked cigarettes, got lung cancer, went to the doctor, and they said, I mean, they won't cover it anyways, but even in the best case scenario, they'd be like, sorry. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You were willfully dumb. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's notfully dumb. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like, it's not going to get you. You're right. That's a good point. Like, you're still going to have to fight a horseshoe battle with a bunch of motherfuckers on phone calls while you're dying. Yeah. They honestly do this with, what's the organ? With this organ replacement

if you're an alcoholic. Oh, liver? Yeah, with your liver. You cannot get on a liver list if you're an alcoholic. You have a history of alcohol. Right. Like, we already live

in a society that penalizes. Right. No one's more penalized than poor people. Right. For just, for just having,

or he says dumb people. he says willfully dumb willfully dumb what does that even fucking mean like for living in a society that is stressed 24 7 people that have been just completely bleed you dry yeah or a turnip j fucking Christ Yeah The least we could do is Read this and threaten Their lives In parody I'd like to put him through a wood chipper God damn

Jesus Everybody that's Brett and Gail. The Conversation, New York Times. Insane. Thank you again. Live from Solomon. The actor's standing out of applause.

Always good working with you, Tom. Yeah, it's always fun. Well, that about wraps it up for this week's episode. We are a little over an hour. If you'd like to hear more, go to Patreon. The good stuff. We're going to

make a willfully dumb choice and smoke a J and then record a Patreon episode. If you'd like to go over there, it's going to be out in a few days after this. If you'd like to hear me guess more

bodily organs because I'm too high to function. We're going to get Tanya high and make her play Operation. If you drink, it's bad for it. Oh, shit. Good to have you back, T-Ray. Yeah, glad to be back.

Welcome back. And happy Trillbilly season, everyone. Yeah, glad to be back. Welcome back. And happy Trillbilly season, everyone. Happy Trillbilly season. That's right. Go support it by supporting us on Patreon. Yeah. Celebrate it. How close are we to 5K?

It's five steps forward and three steps back. We keep slipping. Okay. Well, maybe we shouldn't talk about it anymore. We got two weeks. I think people might... My armchair opinion is that people might be over podcast in the sense that maybe we can't find any new audience.

Are we running out on the golden age of podcasting? We might be. I don't know what would come next. I guess. Zoom parties. TikTok. I don't know. TikTok.

We are boomers. We are such boomers. I don't know. What's next? I think it's VR. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think everybody's just going to be in their own headset.

I think you're right. All right. Anyways. See you out in the e-verse. Yeah. Go simulate reality over at Patreon. P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash Trailbilly Workers Party. Sign up and we'll see you next time.

Bye!