Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 218: Pinker Thinkers

Episode Date: October 1, 2021

We talk about Dolly, meet some Pinker's Thinkers, and check in with Bret and Gail. Find us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

And we're rolling Ooh who's this is That's mine You left it here like it was a present for me No Just cause things are wrapped in bubble wrap Glassware I'm gonna start leaving items around

So you'll pick them up And comment on them on the show Like a gun If I walked in and you had a pistol laid out, I would comment, I believe. I'd leave a loaded pistol. I'd probably just take this outside. I would mention it, I think. No, I went to

a head shop in Kingsport last weekend. And they were selling cheap pieces and I bought one. Get you some Delta 8. I've still not smoked Delta 8. It ain't no count. Just gave me a some Delta 8? I still not smoked Delta 8. It ain't no count. It just gave me a headache.

Really? Yeah. I heard it's tight. I know. I wasn't into it. Is this for me? Yeah, it is. That's your birthday present.

No, it gave me a bad headache. The edibles and the flyer. I tried both. Three, four times. It took that many times for me to be like, all right, this ain't working. Can't deal with it. This is actually

a very topical gift. I thought it was a burger. I thought you brought me a hamburger. That'd be a pretty good gift, honestly. It's soggy and three days old. Is this a gun? You got me a gun. This is a gun with one bullet in it, Tance.

Take the hit, buddy. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, nice. It's a cowboy boot candle. Hand poured. Wow, so the whole thing melts? At the Dollywood. Well, I wouldn't advise burning it, but you can, technically.

Oh, okay, I won't burn it. It's ornamental. Oh, okay. It's an ornamental candle. There you go. Oh, but speaking of Dolly, the homie Nick, our accountant, sent me something funny. Oh, yeah. Let me read it to you.

Because, like, maybe a month ago. Is it a Dolly disc? My heart can't handle it right now. Well, it. I'm very weak. It is a Dolly disc, for sure. I'm so weak. It's not.

It's a very measured one though I'm quite literally anemic You can't bring this on me I'm anemic I'll be god damn Jesus Christ I had to go get a McDonald's Sprite even though I was 15 minutes

late to record because I may have died if I didn't. A few, I think it was like a month ago maybe, we had covered, I don't remember if you were on the episode or not, but we talked about like Dolly buying that, like,

what was it? It was like a building in a black neighborhood. Oh yeah, she said that's what she used her Whitney Houston royalties on. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, she wanted to give back. And I mentioned, yeah, she wanted to give back. And I mentioned that it was probably

like a tax break or something like that. Anyways, our dutiful accountant sent me an email and this is what he said um uh there was a new provision in the 2018 tax law involving quote-unquote opportunity zones what these are are areas designated by each state ostensibly based on census data and focused toward low-income areas. Ooh, sounds suspiciously like a Promise Zone.

This country's carved off into opportunity zones, promise zones. Much is said, much is said about the balkanization of America, but really, if you've trafficked enough in sort of like the Cure What Ails Us world, you'll know that we've been balkanized for some time now.

Right, yeah yeah you're right into various tax relief zones um what this program allows is for an individual who has a large capital gain gain from the sale of stocks or real estate to invest the amount of their amount of their gain in an opportunity or a piece of the whitney houston estate or stocks in pfizer and moderna moderna damn was dolly buying up stocks like before was this like a 9-11 thing where like stocks in pfizer and moderna suddenly shot up before the pandemic yeah right before well there was a bunch of uh well i guess it was in that one that one uh like the richest congresswoman or whatever. They did, yeah.

They sold off shit. As soon as they got the COVID briefing. It's like 106 in California. What's her name? Feinstein, yeah. But there was one in Georgia, too. Georgia, she lost. And then also the one Leffler in Georgia.

Leffler, that's her name. She's really from Illinois. Did Rand Paul do that, too? I don't remember if Rand did, but there was like a bunch of them. I think even Pelosi saved like a million dollars. As soon as they got the briefing, they all sold off a bunch of bullshit. I don't even know what it was. I can't remember what it was, but these people are terrible.

That's just transparently corrupt. So yes, Terrence. That is what this is. Okay, so individual large capital gain to invest the amount of their gain in an opportunity zone which allows them to defer paying federal tax on their gain until december 2026 what the other biggest benefit of this program is that if the property is held for 10 or more years you will not pay tax on the appreciation if you sell so for example i have a one million dollar stock gain and would owe

two hundred thousand dollars in tax i invest the one million dollars into an opportunity zone business in every case i've seen this is just real estate instead of paying the tax now i can wait until the end of 2026 so there's a big benefit there with the time value if after i have owned the property for 10 years it's worth 2 million because it's an opportunity zone property i could sell for 2 million and pay zero tax what huge benefit there um in in you know editorial here just an unbelievable giveaway to real estate investors like a gentrification subsidy basically is what literally um so back to dolly i could not find the exact address of this property she bought but she said in an interview that it's on or near 16th Street in Nashville. I looked at the Opportunity Zone map here, and when you know it, it looks like the Opportunity Zone includes a good portion of 16th Street. This means that she should definitely not be celebrated for this quote-unquote investment in the black community,

as it appears to be a way to defer the tax on her pandemic-era investment gains, and likely to make sure that she pays no tax on the appreciation of the Nashville property. But the Dolly PR machine has to step in there and be like, no, we did this because BLM. I love that our accountant sent us six paragraphs

detailing. He's a real one. Just backing us up. Alright, well, I'm taking the candle back. Clearly you don't appreciate it. You know, I got an ornamental candle of the goddess Venus just because I'm an ally, mostly. An ally to big titty bitches everywhere. No, the original Venus is just a big ass belly.

This is probably a modern take Yeah Venus was a little She was a thicky thick girl Was she really? I don't know anything about Venus I think I was thinking of the Maybe you were thinking of the phrase Rubenesque Isn't it like the first sculpture? Isn't it like the first sculpture, known sculpture?

It's not Venus. We call it something else. The first known sculpture in humanity? Yeah. One of the first. Would that be the cuneiform tablets found in the fertile crescent between the Tigris and Euphrates? Maybe it's the first one I knew of. David?

I don't know. Michelangelo's David? Never mind. It's not Venus. It's something else. Another name. No, it is Venus of something. Yeah, it is.

It is Venus. That was pretty tight. Michelangelo. Wasn't he a sculptor or painter and a sculptor? Yeah. That was pretty baller if you could do both

back in the day. Prince wrote an incredibly horny song about Michelangelo for sheila e called dear michelangelo come put dreams in my head michelangelo prince wanted to fuck michelangelo uh apparently well he thought that sheila e might want to fuck him so he wrote a song for sheila e's album called dear michelangelo but his his cover of it well I guess not his cover but his demo of it. Several scholars have

described Michelangelo as the greatest artist of his age and even as the greatest artist of all time. Damn. I mean come on. Well who do you call? Who do you call the greatest artist of all time? Who's the prince? That's what I was about to say. Prince. But think about it.

So it gets real recognizing real. I think the reason why he is, he was, is this where the term Renaissance man comes from? Oh, it is literally where the term Renaissance man comes from. Oh, wow. Reading more. Yes, that's exactly where it comes from. It is literally, yeah.

Because he was a sculptor, painter, architect, and poet of the high renaissance. So Prince, what? Prince was, I mean, Prince wasn't an architect, was he? Or a sculptor? I mean, but. Of the human body. In fairness, back in those days, there was more wind at your back to play around in all fields. You know what I mean?

I mean, it could be said that uh purple rain was the first visual album true movie which went on to i mean wouldn't i don't know it's like they're all visual albums now true but like there was like um the who and tommy or like pink floyd the wall that's right yeah that was before pink wait was it oh yeah that's right. That one was, I guess, probably in the mid-80s. What a great year, 87. All the real ones were born in that year. I was two years old. All the sucky ones were born in 85 and 86.

But then the real ones started being born in 87. And then in 88, they were like, well, we gotta cut it off. Too many real ones were born in 87. Yeah, here 88, they were like, well, we gotta cut it off. Too many real ones were born in 87. Yeah, here's the cutoff. Only that one year. It's like 85 sucky, 86 sucky. I think it's possible.

86 was good. I sucked on titties all year long. Great year for you. Great year for me. I did not suck on any titties. I was not a titty baby. You know, I can tell that a little bit about you. I can tell titty babies. I don't know, but I don't know how to ask my mom. There's no way.

Did I suck on your titties? You didn't just say it, did you? Did I take to the nipple, mom? No. No, listen, when I asked my mom, I was like, why didn't you breastfeed? She said, well, they didn't know all the stuff about how good it was back then. They didn't know that. That's what she said to me. She said, and I didn't't know all the stuff about how good it was back then. They didn't know that. That's what she said to me.

And I didn't want to be home all the time. I saw everybody who was breastfeeding. She said, we like to party. My mom and dad. She didn't want them titties ruined. No, no. And they weren't. They look great to this day.

Poor Sheila. I sent her a house I'm looking at near her just to be like, hey, what do you think about this house? She immediately got in the car and went and looked at it. Just no chill, Sheila. Damn, she wants you to move back. Come by it honest, don't you? No chill. You know how it's sort of a meme at this point

to, it indicates you're trying to get some ass if you're trying to determine when your birth date time was? Oh yeah, if you go hit up your mom, like, hey, what time was I born? Right, like, I can see a scenario in the future where a dating criteria is gonna be if you were a titty baby or not. So you're gonna have to go to your mom

and ask her what time you were born and if you sucked on them titties or not. Yeah, here's, I'm getting inquiries from those that practice astrology again, Mom. A couple quick questions and just one minor addendum. Not a big deal. Just need to know. Yeah, my mom was at the lake every weekend.

She wasn't feeding no babies from no titties. Wouldn't happen. I'm sure my mom did, but I don't want to make defamatory statements. Don't you have a younger brother? I have two Don't you remember either of them? You know I've known you longer than most people in my life I always think you have one older and one younger

And you know so little about me And I know everything about you Well you don't know everything about me I do Well I also never stop talking It's hard not to I always think you're a middle child. You act like a middle child.

You do not act like an oldest child. What the fuck? Oh, you don't like middle children? Wow. This is fucked up. I just said you're Jan Brady. Are you hearing this? What the fuck?

Wow. This is the beginning of the end, folks. You heard it all. Oh, God. It's heard it all China you're Where are you baby See No she's the oldest Wrong I'm technically a middle child I have an older brother who's a preacher

See you don't know everything about me Okay nobody Nobody knew about you I was today years old when I found out you had a brother It's a preacher I have told you all this many times that my older i have an older half brother who is an evangelical preacher i guarantee this is on the podcast before i'm being ghastly oh no i will pour just to prove

this i will listen to every episode and i'll hate it i'll hate it. I'll hate it. All right. You report back. You report back. You have never Terrence comes back in two weeks hat in hand. I know. Just like no hair. Fucking smoking straight smoking cigarettes.

Well, turns out you were right. Episode Yeah. Episode 72. And that's actually the end. He goes back

and listens to them all. He's like, I can't do it anymore. I gotta find that gun with one bullet you brought me. Motherfucker. You have not said that. That's ridiculous.

I absolutely have. You've not. And I know I've had to have told you all crazy shit he's posted on Facebook. Am I insane? Oh, boy. Am I fucking losing it? Tell us, anyway, to give us a smattering of his posting.'s see well anything in the open i haven't been on facebook in over a year so i don't have any current but like i remember i told you all he

he had a real miracle happen you know you know how anything surprising that happens in an evangelical preacher's life it it's a miracle? Yeah. Like if it's been dry and he says, Lord, I wish we had rain, and it rains the next day, he thinks that's a miracle. This was a little more than that, but yeah. I also act like that as well. What was the literal miracle? Well, I don't want to put it all out here.

Come on, you don't have to change the name to protect the innocent. Well, I haven't even mentioned his name. Well well you don't have to say his name okay and oddly enough just to just to pierce my dad he changed his last name when he turned 18 wow so he doesn't he's not turner anymore i'll be damned so i thought i'll send him more well my dad and Papaw were furious because he's the only boy. That is a slot. Oh, they. It really is. I don't have my father's last name, but that's probably because he never claimed me. They were furious.

That's a different thing. Dude, I'm losing it. I can't believe you feel like I never told you this. Speaking of. Yeah, you haven't. Speaking of Prince. I said I know never told you this. Speaking of, yeah, you haven't. Speaking of Prince. I said I know everything about you. It's, no, this is.

I'm telling you, I'm being gaslit here. Oh, my God. Listen up, audience. Turn the episode off real quick. All right. Now that it's just us, Tanya's lying. Oh, my God. She's been lying to me this whole time.

I do claim. All right, now we're back. I do claim to be the oldest because we weren't raised with him. I'm trying to find this article. Now I'm being gaslit when I said that. So I will say. You said no. When I said that, you're the

oldest, right? You said, no. I'm an older brother. You should, no, I have an older brother. You should know. I do have an older brother, but he's half brother. And then five seconds later, yeah, technically, I guess I am the oldest. I claim being the oldest because we weren't raised with him, but he is older than us. Well, I did have one of my best friends growing up. Like, from the time I was, like, 12 to the time I was, like, 22.

He had two half brothersbrothers, two half-older brothers. And I didn't even know this until we were, like, 20. And I was like, what the fuck? It just felt like a whole... And that's how I feel right now. Anyways, so let's move on to the next thing. I cannot believe that you did. That I've never said...

That you've never heard me say this before. Speaking of Prince, did you know Steven pinker has a new book out you know who stephen pinker is tanya no uh he's a very smart individual uh public intellectual yeah stephen pinker uh is that a job jesse jesse had a good jesse montgomery had a good tweet about him yesterday. He said, Steven Pinker's like if they took one of the guys from I Think You Should Leave, any of the guys from I Think You Should Leave and gave them tenure.

I thought that was a pretty good one. Yeah, I'd say that's pretty accurate. He's got a new book out called, what is it called? Just Rationality? I think it's called Rationality. It's called it's called rationality called oh this is someone we don't like called if I was on that plane there you go I'm catching up we don't like him because he was tight with Jeffrey Epstein although I did buy one of his books and

it was a big controversy on Trill Billy'sies circa 2018. Oh really, a book purchase? Well I bought the book in like 2013. I bought the book a long time ago. But I had it on my shelf up here for a long time. And someone saw a picture of it? No, Tom called me out. Oh. I didn't mean to, I just.

Probably on the same episode that you revealed you have a brother. I was calling him out for buying Steven Pinker. This is, and you're over here in his ear telling him you got a long lost brother that's why i didn't register i was so embarrassed about he was too busy being embarrassed about yeah that's right right um so um the book i bought was called the blank slate and it's like all about how people are blank sleets. I mean, kind of.

So he don't subscribe to the generational trauma theory? I bet he probably doesn't. Granted, I don't know if I do because I don't know shit about science or anything. And I'm not claiming to because... I'm going to say this right here and now. I will never talk about science on this show again. When was the last time you did? Oh, that time? That ain't not important. Vaccine? Not again. When was the last time you did? Oh, that time?

Yeah, it ain't not important. The vaccine? Not important. When's the last time you did? I love any time someone gets mad at Tom for saying something incorrect, Tom's defense is like, I was raised by chicken fighters. Well, that's true, too. But, you know, here's the-

We backed into a corner this morning. I'll go, pfft. Well, you know, here's the... We backed into a corner this morning. I'll go... Well, you know, here's the thing. This is a fucking leo, people. Stand down. Yeah. Anyway. Well, look, I...

Yeah, I was not raised by chicken fighters, but I was raised by a guy who used to do rodeo, so... That's pretty... That's the same branch of the tree. See this gift? Explain. This tells you how much I know about you. It is a good gift. I agree.

Todd, being that you're from Texas and everything. His fucking Twitter picture is literally the guy from 8 Seconds. It's a good movie. It's a great movie. I highly recommend anybody check it out. That's excellent. Back to Steven Pinker, who was on the flight logs with Jeffrey Epstein. Jeffrey Epstein was big into the flight logs.

Now I know why he came up with blank slate. Everybody should get a blank slate. You don't have to dig into the plot log i'm not saying anything's coming down the pike here in about six to seven years but this is this is a genius get out in front of it though totally to write a book about forgiveness before you need it i don't think well this book specifically is about rationality. It's called What It Is, Why It Seems Scarce, Why It Matters. He said, okay, let me just read here from the Gawker article about it. Steven Pinker, the Harvard psychologist, recently described as, quote,

the world's most prominent defender of the status quo, has a new book out about his favorite subject, rationality, specifically the dearth of it that leads people to believe in often baseless conspiracies. The dearth of it. He was, he is. He's home, he's with Alan Dershowitz. For example, or I'm sorry, in other words,

i.e. florid fantasies About transnational Pedophiles Who use their wealth In connection to Shield financial And sexual crimes Wait that's in the blurb? That's Gawker Editorializing

Oh I thought that was A blurb I was like wow Interesting The book is called Rationality What it is

Why it seems scarce Why it matters Here is one of his Diagnoses of our Modern unreasonable era, cribbed from a review in the New York Times. Wait, is this his take on the e-crisis? This is, kind of, yeah.

Rationality is uncool, he laments. It isn't seen as dope, fat, chill, fly, sick, or da bomb. All I could imagine now is Jeffrey Epstein himself writing this and i can't oh wait wait wait he really wrote that this is what he says some of his references for this contemporary phenomenon are the talking heads the 1964 feature film sorb of the creek and the artist formerly known as prince who is dead pinker blames the latin listen to. Pinker blames the Latin... He brought up Prince? Listen to this. Pinker blames Prince for popularizing the phrase, let's go crazy, an endorsement of irrationality.

This man comes out against Prince? No one's against Prince. Let's go. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. Crazy. Here's my experience with guys like Pinker. You never trust a man

with a wet jerry, Carl. That's also a white man. You know what I mean? Look at him. He does have a wet jerry. Let me say. Let me say. He's doing kind of a Richard Marks thing now, I guess.

Let's see. Yeah, he suggests. Let's see. Yeah, he suggests that it's easy to forget that reason gave us some good developments, like quote-unquote human progress. Fortunately, Pinker is here to make the intellectual tools of sound reasoning cool again. That's what he said.

He wrote a whole book about this? Yeah, the book emerged from a lecture course Pinker taught at Harvard, which set out to ask how a, quote, era with unprecedented scientific sophistication could produce so much fake news, quack-curious conspiracy theories, and post-truth rhetoric.

Does he have anything to say about pop psychology? He is. I feel like he is. It's like him and Malcolm Gladwell are as culpable as anybody in that shit. Yeah, exactly. To the degree that his thesis is correct And I'm not persuaded At the time Pinker answered the question By assigning students his own book

Enlightenment Now The Case for Reason, Science, Humanism, and Progress It was just one of two books Listed on the syllabus Which also links to his defense of the work In the Ultimate Sensible Outlet Quillette The Ultimate Sensible Outlet the syllabus, which also links to his defense of the work in the ultimate sensible outlet, Quillette.

The ultimate sensible outlet. Rationality takes the question further, walking through a series of cognitive biases that lead seemingly rational actors to engage in irrational behavior. One example of the latter, quote unquote, the person who succumbs to the small pleasure

of a lasagna dinner instead of holding it, holding out for the large pleasure of a slim body. What the fuck? What? Wow. So anyone who got on my ass

for saying that rationality and science is dead this weekend, this is who you're on the side with. Are you sure you want to be? Oh, is this a defense episode? I wasn't aware. Listen, either you're with us or you're fat ph to be oh is this a defense episode i wasn't aware yeah listen either you're with us or you're fat phobic which is it tanya you walked into a tramp who the fuck comes out against prince and lasagna that's hilarious yeah really actual deranged let's he got mad for

popularizing the phrase let let's go crazy. For even uttering that, I want to body slam Pinker on a fucking bed of thumbtacks. No, the word, you know those... Who listens to Let's Go Crazy and says, my God, this is an endorsement of disordering society. Pure anarchy, chaos disordering society. Pure anarchy. Chaos. God. Oh, fuck.

And lasagna. In Enlight... In Enlightenment Now, Pinker recommends quote-unquote cognitive debiasing programs as part of a strategy of countering irrationality in the world. Rationality reads like the centerpiece of the curriculum. If only everyone were capable of reasoning properly,

Pinker sometimes seems to imply, then our endless political arguments would not occupy so much of public life. He would like that, wouldn't he? Seriously. Talk about anything else. Anything else. Just don't talk about conspiracies In my relationship with Jeffrey Epstein Anything else Anything but that

Oh shit What a freak Yeah that's in Gawker The person that wrote it is Harply hit Shout out Hey Terrence where's the 65 inch TV Oh That's not mine and it's at the office and

it's not a 65 inch tv and it's a box that someone gave me that i used to transport something else gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha yeah i looked at it for a second i was like where is he putting this where would this guy with that would be tight no be tight. I mean, I can't afford a TV that expensive. I guess it would fit in that corner. Maybe. Someone gave me the box. Gotcha. Finally. Because they gave me their

old TV. An empty box. A smaller TV. 31, are you now? 34. Yep. I gotta hand me down TV finally. Don't you have internet down there?

Yeah. Why don't you record down there? Cause I don't have enough shit in it yet. I just I did just buy some like acoustic dividers

but it's like too empty so the sound rings. Yeah. You just need some rugs and shit probably. I just bought one. There you go. And I bought a chair. It's all coming together look at you it's all coming together all right i cannot

cross stinking pinker off the list oh we hit pinker okay and everybody that had anything bad to say about our patreon this weekend is with pinker i'm sending every one of your shirts says i'm with pinker oh my god i'm a pinker thinker they were mad that y'all shit on rationalization there is a number of reasons i think um but uh somebody trying to tell me as a human body and prone to viruses, I can't have any opinions about viruses. Well, I did say that LaRouche was an Aristotelian, and I feel really bad about that. He was a neoplatonist.

So I apologize. That's what kept me up at night, too. How do you parse that out? God. Sometimes I feel like this podcast is a bizarre game of Pictionary. And you all are just like popping out all these words that I'm either. Tanya, trust me. I'm going to just ask you a question.

I envy you. Do you remember where me and Terrence met at? Smooth brain. I'm not prompting you at all. The two of you? Where you met originally? What we were doing when we met. Testing water or something.

Oh boy. I'm sorry. I don't know. What kind of animals were we working with? Oh, bats. Did you hear that? Bats. They were bat boys.

Also, I just want to point out, during that course, we did something called portal netting, which is during their hibernations. But I just want to be clear that I have no reason to say anything about bat hibernation, even though I worked in bat hibernation. So if you're going to sit here

and flex your fucking credentials and everything on me i'm gonna do the same thing to you little fucking pussy ass oh wow you're really pissed i was big mad about it big mad because listen i'm not you know me i'm a modest guy i'm humble yeah i don't say nothing to nobody i'm'm everybody's best friend. And somebody got in your DMs, man, or called you? No, no, no, no, no. They blew me up. We got a little bit of a dog pile, but that's okay. Listen, in podcasting, that's part of, you know,

if we abdicated our responsibility this weekend, what we have to say, too, is that it's part of the contract that you have to have a little thick skin. It's fine. Have you ever been ratioed? I don't know. Ratioed on your own shit?

Dog piled? I don't think so. Let me tell you, Tony, it doesn't feel great. I don't actually know. I don't think so. I would never dog pile any of y'all. That's the...

I guess... Are you talking about on Twitter? No, I'm talking about on Patreon where the bread is buttered oh wait people oh on our patreon page well i'm not a patron so i wouldn't know well there is that yeah y'all give me you don't even support yourself y'all give me the login i'll go i'll go defend your honor it's fine it's fine it's. It's fine. So did we lose patrons? You know, here's the way.

I look at it as losing family. That was the disappointing part. We lost Pinker Thinkers. But that's cool. Well, I'm sorry y'all dealt with all this bullshit. I mean, I don't care. On your birthday weekend, no less.

I wanted it. That's what I want. I mean, I don't care. On your birthday weekend, no less. Listen, I wanted it. That's what I want. I wanted it for my birthday. You want to feel something. One, this was all an op to see who... I will fight you. This was all an op

to see who we could trust in the end. I just can't believe people got mad over you talking about bat hibernation for God's sakes. It's a little more complex than that.

Just listen to it. You should listen to it. Alright, I'll go listen to it. I think it's fun. Sometimes as Jerry Seinfeld eminent thinker like Jerry Seinfeld likes to point out, it's this cancel culture really that's the problem.

At the root of it all it goes back to the big cc yeah you can't say anything you know um there's a brett and gail from this week y'all want to do y'all want to read it i don't know if i can y'all want to read the you want to be you want to it might actually lend something to the performance that you're you want to step into the that you're you got trail of blood. I looked like I drug a dead carcass up your heel. Oh, no. I'm not well.

I think it's the perfect time just to embody the mind and soul of Gail Collins. Come on, Tanya. Come on. Send it to me. I sent it to you. It's already in your inbox. It's already in the...

We knew you'd say yes. So, you know, I mean, the thing about these... Okay, I should preface these, because we do these probably once every two months at this point, right? It's the New York Times column, The Conversation with their old pals, Gil Collins and Brett Stevens. You think we're the only ones that do this?

Actually, I think so. What the hell? I think so. I think that we're original and we have original thoughts. And that's why people come here. Original sin. I'm just kidding.

Yeah, New York Times, The Conversation. These don't really improve anymore from week to week. Hold on, I gotta interject real quick. Because for three months I've been trying to figure out what Jim Webb's poem by Original Sin.

Original Sin. How does it go? It says, I do believe in Original Sin. I just can't think of anything new. Yeah. Yeah. Or I don't believe in Original Sin.

Well, it's actually, it's kind of a meta-commentary when you think about it, because he would say it every Wednesday night at Open Mic, so it was like a meta-commentary, like, I can't think of anything else to say. Oh my god,

it was more brilliant than you would think. Than even you could think. Jim was a bacon few could even fully look at. You couldn't even take it all in at once. It was like looking into the sun. Or looking at God. You know, like you die if you look at God or see his face or whatever.

Yeah, couldn't even take it all in at once. We'll spend the rest of our lives unpacking the wisdoms of Jim Webb. I wonder if that's just because God looks like John Lovitz or something? Well, ironically, he also had a whole poem and book where he is Jesus. Get in, Jesus. I think he's Jeebus' driver. No, no, no. He is assumed to be Jesus.

Get in, Jesus is about a time where some hippies picked him up hitchhiking and they called him Jesus the whole time. They thought he was Jesus. I see. So it shows you how much I know. Wait, so Jesus, he is Jesus and the driver. Maybe. And Get In Jesus is what?

Wait, that doesn't make any sense. Get In Jesus, I guess he would be Jesus and anyone. He's Jesus. Yeah, Get In Jesus, poems by Jim Webb. You can find it on the Trailbillies merch store. We should. Yeah, we really should. Whitesburg's imminent poet, now deceased.

Poet laureate. One of these days, you know. He might come back. We don't know. He may return. Whitesburg needs a new poet laureate. Somebody's got to assume the mantle. Well, someone tried to take over

and it's turned into a slippery slope of a cult. Are you talking about Tyler Gentry? Anyway. I hadn't heard that name in a while. Democracy dies in the dark at the New York Times, too. I'm sorry. This is the New York Times, the opinion segment of the conversation.

Oh, yeah. I'm trying to get around this fucking paywall. Here's what you gotta do. You know what? My biggest meltdowns of the year are paywalls on fucking COVID articles. We are in a literal pandemic

and they want us to pay for fucking information. Journalism isn't free. we are in a literal pandemic and they want us to pay well how much do you value your life journalism isn't free you know that um uh there this is no way to run a democracy september 27 2021 gail collins and brett stevens um generally i think we we usually set a setting For this right Where should we do this one at Dollywood No no no We're gonna do it In that building that she bought

In the gentrified opportunity zone Yeah it always has to be like a dungeon Like a sad place This will be in yeah the Dolly Gentrified opportunity zone dungeon In 16th Street in Nashville. There's people still, you know. We're going to go out and pay $20 for soup beans after.

Exactly. You're going to get your iced tea in a mason jar. Where's that place we ate after our Nashville show? Cornbread. Ain't nothing wrong with that. We spent every penny we made at that national show on our dinner after we really did yeah we didn't even it didn't even cover our gas okay all right um so all right we got the setting uh lights camera and action

hi gal so it turns out that jo Biden really did win Arizona last year. Are you shocked? Pass the champagne, Brett. We'll take a toast to the fact that recount-wise, it's been easy to find excuses to celebrate. Did I say that right? You're great. You're good. Good, Gil.

Arizona's recheck showed Biden actually getting a few more votes than originally tallied and some of the state's republican leaders nodded their approval one called it encouraging even despite one little cyclone of an outrage spotted over more a long ago damn gail's riffing gail riffing. Did you start out here because it's the only good news in the country right now? If so, I appreciate the effort. You know, the truly bad news is that even this modestly good news is actually awful news. Oh, welcome to our world. What I mean is that this Republican-ordered, Republican-financed audit of ballots in Maricopa County,

which is Arizona's largest, won't make any difference to Donald Trump's true believers. There's a similar audit, I think, in Michigan that finished earlier this year, also overseen by Republicans, which proved that Biden won that state, too. And it also didn't have the slightest effect on the two-thirds of Republicans who, as of August, anyway, thought the election was rigged. Gail. Oh, shit. She's inhaling these asbestos fumes from the salt building.

I need some water. Congratulations. Cucumber water, yeah. Get Gail some cucumber water. Congratulations. Cucumber water, yeah. Get Gail some cucumber water. I've had it sitting. Yeah, yeah. You've convinced me to be depressed again. You know, it reminds me of that line from Huck Finn.

Ain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And ain't that big enough majority in any town? That sums up Trump's political strategy. And if the Biden administration continues to stumble the way it's been stumbling, it might just work. Do you think that's true? What? You mean Huck Finn's wisdom? Or what?

Yeah, I guess. Like, Brett's interpretation of Huck Finn. And that that is proof that Trump will win in 2024. Do you think that's an accurate representation of Trump's politics? Ain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And ain't that big enough majority in any town?

All the fools? Yeah, I don't know. Sorry. Sorry I jumped in here. It's not the director's role to jump in i'm sorry i just want you to get more into your roles god gail i think i set out told you i wasn't shooting i'm shooting blanks i'm just kidding we talked last week about biden's proposed budget and perusing the reader comments i noticed many many responses to your suggestion that it

doesn't include enough military spending brett said that brett gail and brett also got uh ratioed as well so i i empathize we're in solidarity with these two she said you think you really hit a nerve on that one you think you really hit a nerve on that one? You think you really hit a nerve on that one? I guess Brett really did say that it didn't include nearly enough military spending. That Biden's budget. We're broke, man. By the 18th, we're out of cash. We're going to have to stop eating out.

Sons of bitches. Can't wait for Rita's reaction to my free Martin Shkreli campaign. Wow. Can't wait for Rita's reaction to my free Martin Shkreli campaign. Wow, Martin Shkreli, the criminal ex-Hudge fund manager who raised the price of a life-saving drug by 5,000%. Love the way you bring up blasts from the not-so-distant past, Brett. How do people sign up for this fan club? They're not having fun anymore, are they? They hate each other. They hate each other.

They really... Oh, they can just wire their non-refundable donation to my Cayman Islands bank account and I'll text them the secret password. The funny thing is that 100% he has one of those. 100%. Kidding! Kidding! But you're giving me

a chance to praise Biden for his deal to work with Australiaralia to build nuclear-powered submarines as a counterbalance to china's growing naval power what the fuck french wounded pride aside it was the kind of smart and sober strategic move that many of us had hoped to see in a biden administration but had mostly been missing so far yeah i've been hearing that going down to the new dairy queen in in the mornings. They've been saying, oh yeah, Biden's decision to work with Australia to build nuclear-powered submarines as a

counterbalance to China's growing naval power is the kind of smart, sober, strategic move that many of us... Some guy named Jeff there with his gravy and biscuits says, yeah, hell, we gotta stop the looming red threat, boys. Can't let the subject pass without taking this opportunity to point out the Pentagon

waste a stupendous amount of money on glorioso projects. Damn. We don't need. Gail's a little tipsy. She's a little tipsy. We sure are. I mean, as Tom would put this, they lose a billion dollars a month in the couch cushions. She's been listening.

She's been listening to us. And to drop the name of the F-35, a disastrous and never-ending attempt to build a new flight or plane, the Defense Department will still be screwing around with that one. The Defense Department will still be screwing around with kids. The Defense Department will still be screwing around with kids. When your kids have grown up, reproduced, and begun worrying about how to pay their own retirement. Pretty much every time the Air Force upgrades its inventory, which inevitably costs huge sums of money, whatever plane we buy, critics are going to complain that the stuff is too expensive and doesn't work.

This was the line about the F-15 jet back in the 70s until it proved to be the best fighter-bomber in the goddamn history of the country, Gail. Dude, he's such a dweeb. Anyway, what were we discussing? Yeah, yeah, thanks for that little breather. Readers, feel free to retort. Moving on. Damn, Gail's calling in the big guns on her. She's calling in the ratios.

She really is. Come after my man. Come after him. Moving on. I believe you were complaining about our current president's budget negotiations. What the country really needs, Gail. Some sort of Biden get your groove back campaign. You got any bright ideas there, Queenie?

I'm wondering how this whole debt limit thing will work out. Mitch McConnell is leading a Republican revolt against cooperating on raising the debt ceiling. After Trump, of course, sent the red ink exploding. That's so stupendously irresponsible. I can imagine a market collapse that would be entirely the fault of the GOP. So awful that I pray it won't happen, even if it does turn Biden into the responsible hero of the saga.

Now, Republicans have a history of shooting themselves in the foot by playing chicken with the debt ceiling. If I may mix my metaphors. But in the case of the Democrats, but in the case, but in this case, Democrats have majorities in the case of the democrats but in the case but in this case democrats have majorities in both houses of congress meaning they can raise it on their own

in a separate bill mcconnell's calculation is that democrats will lose politically in the midterms by endorsing a debt ceiling number that'll probably be north of 30 trillion let me just just a little editor's note here it It is amazing to me that people think politics is still like that. That something, something bad happens, it'll make Biden look like a hero?

Like it, no, like Jeff, well, I mean, well, yeah, too, but also just Jeff at Dairy Queen saying to the boys, let me tell you something, if I swear to God, if that debt ceiling number

gets north of $30 trillion, I'll vote that son of a bitch out come. Nobody cares or thinks about that. Yeah, incredible. Yeah, heaven forbid you pass up a chance to score political points just because it could wreck the economy. Listen, we'll still get the debt ceiling raised one way or another. It's just the usual

hardball that both parties play now biden still has to do a lot more to reset his presidency than complain about republican meanies which does about as much good as a main lobster man complaining about the fog dude he's paying his his interns working overtime man that was like that was like uh what was the uh amy Klobuchar about the beer? Oh, that was all foam, no beer, Brett. He was elected on the promise

of being a competent, calming, unifying force, not a one-term FDR. Someone should tell Ron Klain that. Okay. Who's Ron Klain? I'm looking it up right now mictate your memo biden has to do three things pronto the first of those is he needs to put the 3.5 trillion spending bill in the freezer and get the popular 1 trillion infrastructure bill

passed immediately very popular very popular again at the dairy queen i will say this though do you remember when jim cliburn was like like aoc and all them came out for like the 3.5 trillion and jim cliburn said well we got some room to work there like yeah i think one trillion is probably more in the neighborhood that's where that comes from right right so it's like your standard bears of the democratic party are just like parroting brett stevens like thought well it's that's been the case for about i feel like a a year and a half now. It's pretty funny, actually. All the popular things that are popular with people, I don't know, in the streets burning down police precincts, they say isn't popular. But then something that's not popular, they're like, no, this is the popular thing.

But this, though. It's an inane point. But this, though. The people actually want 2.5 trillion less in spending if you can believe it yeah i know right like like what that is yeah yeah the fact that there's like yeah just a mass of people out here being like don't spend more money no no no no no no my god no anything investment. Don't send us our $2,000. Please, no.

You know, it'd also be good to point an infrastructure czar from the private sector. Hell, somebody like Mark Cuban. Somebody like Mark Cuban. Somebody like the billionaire owner of the Dallas Mavericks, Mark Cuban, to make sure the money doesn't get held up in red tape and is spent efficiently and rapidly. Could you imagine a guy that owns a basketball team and invests in little straps to keep your trash bin heads on so bears won't eat out of them

is going to be the one that's going to rein in government spending. Dude, this just dawned on me while we were reading this. This column has just become Brett ranting and pontificating and gail being the foil to him like that's that's all it is listen what do you mean as a gail uh vo person you should be incensed about this vo voiceover all right like the foil you know like it's not the bad guy for setting him up kind of the i'm not really the butt of the joke, but kind of like... Like Newman in Seinfeld. Or...

Yeah, I want a raise. For being Red's boy? Yeah, I want a raise for being gay. He's got to finish. Let me finish my policy. But you're doing less work, so it works out for you. Second, he has to get a handle on the immigration crisis. Listen. We need a policy to get a handle on the immigration crisis.

Listen, we need a policy that tightens controls over illegal immigration while creating humane, generous, and orderly pathways to entry and citizenship. A high wall with a big gate, as our colleague Tom Friedman puts it. Finally, he needs to help Kamala harris become a better vice president right now i'll be honest with you right now she's floundering and if she's in if she's the heir apparent then my god the dems are in deep doo-doo for 2024 deep doo-doo sad to admit kamala harris still doesn't seem to have hit her stride. Although now that Dan Quayle is being portrayed as a wise advisor during the post-election Republican chaos, I can imagine her eventually moving up to Nobel Peace Prize territory for fucking what?

I think she's saying by comparison. She's goddamn. Minds eye. That is really funny, though, what Brett said. I think she's saying by comparison. She's goddamn Einstein. That is really funny, though, what Brett said. He needs to help Kamala Harris become a better vice president. Yeah, I don't know. It's just like that he would use his experience that he has no recollection of anymore. Allow the man to trawl the depths of the memory he no longer has to help his amanuensis kamala harris this man's in hospice care

you say potato i spell potato with an oe on another topic entirely did you notice that senator chuck grace grassley has announced that he's going to run for re-election in 88? At 88? At 88. I don't mind having a 78-year-old president, but there does seem to be a limit. How old's fucking Feinstein? 88. Yeah, she's got to be pushing 90.

Yeah, she's up there with Grassley. God damn. Well, you can't fault him for lacking optimism. Hell, Robert Byrd was 92 when he traded the Senate for the graveyard. And Strom Thurmond was 100 when he left the Senate, so maybe Grassley figures he's got a record to beat. I guess I'm of two minds on this one. A lot of people are living productive lives well into their 80s,

and if Grassley feels fit to serve again again then he's something of a role model on the other hand whatever happened to enjoying the great grandchildren letting the next generation have its chance eager to know your thoughts just want to chime in here real quick wasn't chuck grassley the one that put the phantom glasses on or was that orrin hatch there's like a video going around of him like putting glasses. There was no glasses in his hand. He put his glasses on. Oh, yeah, that's right. And adjusted them. I think you're right.

I mean, Grassley's probably, I mean, the thing I remember Grassley most was he's the one that actually went after like the TV preachers, the televangelists. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway. Should acknowledge first that Dianne Feinstein is 88. Yeah. should acknowledge first that diane feinstein is 88 yeah and has filed some paperwork that many indicate another run but it's just not a good plan and if she pursues it i fear she'll give 90 year old working people a bad name it is sick they literally these two literally do think they these are the people who think that it's uh valorly it's it's judicious and and in a respect heroic story story for 80s and 90 year olds to be out bagging fucking groceries virtuous yeah yeah uh it's uh you give geriatrics a bad name it It's a Bon Jovi hit in the make.

Doesn't work, Brett. Sorry, editor's note. Doesn't work. I don't have any problem with people pursuing legislative careers into their very later years. In our modern world, we're going to see more and more people working into their 80s and even 90s. If the birth rate doesn't pick up, the economy will demand it. Jesus, fuck. Gail really wants us to all be fucking.

She's like, y'all need to get fucking but my suspicion hey get to fucking blow those loads in those pussies fellas hey fellas hey get to fucking raw dog remember that eddie murphy wrong hey norton gail is a proponent of raw dogging we all know it she's a big opponent of condoms. If you don't like coal, don't use condoms. Remember that old prophecy? But my suspicion about Grassley is that he's going to run on his reputation and name recognition, get himself re-elected, and then retire, leaving the Republican governor to appoint a replacement.

That's cheating. Giving old candidates a bad name. Giving old candidates a bad name. I'll just throw that in there. Given the increasingly red-leaning direction of Iowa politics, I don't know how much of a difference it'll make. My main concern is that the Democrats can't let themselves get trounced in the midterms by shifting too far to the left or stumbling through another self-inflicted debacle like the handling of the Afghanistan exit. The central goal of the Biden administration should be simple.

Don't let Trump back in the White House again. Well, yeah. Plus expand early childhood education, make college degrees possible to pay for, improve medical services for the housebound sick, and a few few other things much of it funded with taxes on the rich we have such a nice time conversing about the terribleness of trump brett but we've got a different vision we've got different visions of what a no trump world should look like more busting in pussies which is what makes conversing with you so much fun here Here's hoping for lots of arguments in a Trump-free, COVID-free world, Gail. Gail's suicidal.

Cut. Gail is. Cut. That was, wow. You're right. This might, I don't know if we'll, I don't know if this column will continue for much longer. Surely not.

There's no way. Who's Brett's, who's's Is he like a Regis And who is Kelly Ripa's predecessor Regis and Kathy Lee Gifford He's gonna have to get a Kelly Ripa No it's Regis left

Not Kelly No but first growing up when I was a kid it was Regis and Kathy Lee And then it was Regis and Kelly. And now it's like Kelly and Michael Shannon or something. No, it's... Or did he quit? Seacrest.

Ryan Seacrest. Damn, they fired Michael Shannon. Kelly and Ryan. I don't know. Maybe I just saw that once. Yeah, you're probably right. I don't know. I used to watch that shit.

I mean, I didn't watch it, but my mom always had it on. Anyways, Brett is basically Regis Philbin. You know? Gotta go. When you think for brett yeah yeah i mean he anybody i mean well it's gotta be a lady he's gotta have someone of the um opposite oh brett's gonna replace gail gail's gotta go you're saying well surely because like this is Brett's column Like Brett needs a He needs like a platform that he can just like Like I said earlier Just kind of like rant he needs a foil though

Right Um and you know Barry Weiss is out you know she's not coming back To the New York Times so That was my first round draft choice Maybe they'll get Liz Brunig Dog what the New York Times needs to start fucking with some new. Get Brett Stevens and Liz Brunig on the conversation.

Now we're talking. Yeah. That would be pretty funny because it would be really bad. Well, it's crickets. I don't know who Liz is. I don't read the New York Times. Is Brett a Christian? Only when we read it's crickets. I don't know who Liz is. I don't read the New York Times. Is Brett a Christian? Only when we read it to each other.

Liz Bruning's a Christian. Is Brett a Christian? Is he religious? I think Brett is. I think he would say he is. He's probably Catholic, right? Yeah, I think he was raised Catholic in Mexico City. He has said that, yeah.

Yeah, that's right. The last New York times conversation was called history repeats itself first is tragedy second as far as then as god knows what and i i was gonna have his reader last week but it's so boring they're all bad now they've fallen off they're past their prime what if this is the last one just like us real recognized real real recognized real What if this is the last one? Just like us. Real recognize real. Real recognize real. We're past the prime.

Speaking of primes, I gotta pee. I guess we're at an hour. We're 56 minutes. Wow. I can just take the mic with me. Yeah, why don't you take it with you? It won't reach. Oh, shit.

All right. Well, go to the Patreon to check out extra bonus content. And ratio us. And get a little ratio action. Keep the spirited debate going. You know, that's what your $5 pays for. You can ratio if you want to. Yeah, I mean, I won't be reading it, but that's true. It's behind a paywall.

I can't see it either so I ignore them eat your heart out I ignore them uh yeah so but but you should still go and yeah pay five dollars to Screamin' Into the Void because that's funny it's your god given right

it's your god given right uh p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com slash Trailbilly Workers Party. Anything else, guys? We're about to record a second episode. Am I wrong? Am I right? I hope you're right.

I've got to go pee. All right. These boots were made for burning. That boot was made for burning. We can burn it if you want to. It's up to you. It's your candle. It's not wax, is it?

Yeah, it is. The whole thing's wax. It's unscented. Oh, wow. Hmm. I have a few really nice candles and shapes of shit like that, and I don't burn them. I like a decorative candle.

I do, too. Because I have plenty of other candles I burn, so why? I don't need to but i like a decorative candle i do too um because i have plenty of other candles i burn so yeah why i don't need to burn this gorgeous candle i have a big crescent moon on a cloud i haven't i have i have a candle from dollywood that looks exactly like an ice cream cone i may start wearing so i do wear cowboy boots from time to time but i'm gonna start wearing them with spurs yeah put them spurs onurs on. Put spurs on. I want you to hear Terrence come like, you know. Oh, shit.

Everyone on Main Street scuttles into their respective businesses. They pick up the foosball table in front of the arcade, run it in real fast. Just see a tumbleweed falling through, and any of them, kids jump off the bridge. My God, he's back.

And he's 34. Alright, well, thanks for listening, everybody. And he's the oldest. I am the oldest. You're the youngest of us. I'm the youngest on this show. I'm the baby. The baby. I'm the baby. The baby. I'm the baby. We do treat you like the baby, too.

We show up late. We boss you around. We want to cry. Cancel you for making homophobic remarks before the crowd at Rolling Loud. Yeah. I don't remember that, but sure. Crowd at where? You know, the baby who got canceled.

I don't remember doing that, but yeah. Okay. We got 15 seconds left. If we get 15 more seconds, we can get that out. T that, but anyway. Okay, we got 15 seconds left. If we get 15 more seconds, we can get that out. Tonya, hold it. Hold it. Let's go crazy. I cannot believe that. I'm mad at Prince because he popularized the phrase,

let's go crazy, and nothing was the same. All right. All right, we'll see you on the Patreon. Bye.