Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 225: You May Be Right And I May Be Crazy

Episode Date: November 18, 2021

This week we talk about how 9/11 killed country music; how the Trillbillies need a new uniform; and how Bret and Gail are finally ready to kill each other Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

I'm no stranger to being gay. Kissed a lot of dudes in a downpour. Oh, that reminds me, singing Keith Whitley, that reminds me of something I saw the other day. Actually, I saw it like a month ago and I had saved it. Let's see. Okay. Okay. This is on... I saw this. I was reading Kidney Chesney's Wikipedia page recently.

What is wrong with you? No frontier is off limits to me. What did Brother Kenny's wiki have to say about it? If I'm the Don Quixote of content, there is no Frontier that is too far-fetched. I respect it. This is crazy. I never knew this before. Did you guys know this? Listen to this. This is crazy. I never knew this before. Did you guys know this? Listen to this.

In 2000, Kenny Chesney and Tim McGraw became involved in a scuffle with police officers in Buffalo, New York, after Chesney was riding a state police horse and refused to get off of the horse despite being told to get off. McGraw came to Chesney's aid after police officers nearby believed the horse was being stolen. The two were arrested and charged. Chesney for disorderly conduct and McGraw for assault, but were acquitted in 2001. Put this in my, as further. Tim McGraw's ACAB. I have some questions.

Do you think, it doesn't say that they like stole the horse. It says they wouldn't get off the horse so do you think the cop was like yeah get on my horse i'll take a picture of you on my horse and then he just wouldn't give it back to him i guess hard to say but i tell you what it does do is it provides a snapshot into the attitudes about police at the turn of the century and then just 20 short years later. Kenny Chessie would have immediately dismounted in 2021 and said, yes, sir, here's your steed. I'm sorry I was on it too long. Just my thought.

No, put it as evidence toward my thesis that 9-11 killed country music. Because this could have only happened before 9-11. After 9-11. I don't think I've heard you say that before. But I think it's a good thesis. Must not be saying it loud enough. I like...

I'm just imagining... You know that Willie Nelson song Me and Paul he's got that line I guess Buffalo ain't geared for me and Paul Kenny should make one says Buffalo ain't geared for me and Tim McGraw Me and McGraw

that'd be cool yeah me and McGraw it's been rough and rocky traveling and I'll be goddamned if I get down off this horse. After taking several warnings, I told that policeman just fuck off. Well, I drank a lot of whiskey. And then here came my buddy Tim McGraw.

He beat that officer down, a crime that would have get him killed in 21. I'm just giving, I'm just suggesting some things Kenny could do here. What is Kenny Chesney doing these days since you were recently on his Wikipedia? Nothing much. Let me just go ahead and tell you now. Nothing much. Last I heard, he was living that pirate lifestyle. He's

cosplaying as like a wayward island guy. Like a Jimmy Buffet guy? Almost like a Jimmy Buffet type, but with like a dark poetic side. Or at least what he fancies a dark poetic side. Amazing. Dude, this is...

It is actually, when you think about it, country music is a barometer of the attitudes and norms in this country. of the attitudes and norms in this country and the sort of how deeply invasive the police state is because, like I said, this could not have happened post-9-11. Oh, no, no, no. That's like rap star shit. That's like them back-to-back, you know? Like, they've got a circle of police around them and they're like sir you know i can't imagine a single country music star would square

up with police nowadays no it is the most country music thing like rebel thing to do to steal a cop horse though that is pretty great yeah and it was in new york not new york city but like upstate new york but anyway still it's like they went to new york and stole a horse you know listen to this when the deputy went to remove chesney from the horse another deputy was going to assist him mcgraw came and jumped the second deputy from behind wrapped one arm around his neck and was choking him now i'm not suggesting he was trying to really choke him but he had him with his arm around his neck and he was holding on that's what the sheriff says um one million percent they would have killed his ass in 21.

Dude. Country music star Tim McGraw would have been dead at the hands of police if this were 21. Wow. I mean, they were... Imagine how drunk you'd have to be to put a cop in a headlock. Tim McGraw's jacked, too, you know? I think Tim McGraw's still putting out some music, right? He's still doing some, like, recent stuff.

It's bad. Oh, yeah. It's all really bad. Tim's daddy. Tim's daddy. Do you think Tim McGraw and Faith Hill are the Jay-Z and Beyonce of country music? That's a pretty good parallel. Was he married to Faith Hill by that point?

When did they get married? Yeah, they've been married a long ass time. Since 96. Damn. When did Beyonce and Jay-Z get married? I don't know. Like 2008? They've been together since like 2003 or so.

Oh. So then Jay and B are the Tim and Faith of... Huh. Working it out? You couldn't say hip-hop. I wouldn't really call Beyonce a hip-hop artist. Hip-hop and R&B, you could say that. Yeah.

Dude, that is fucking just amazing. I mean, you think... No shoes, no shirt. No problems. Blues, what blues? I forgot them. You know, Tim,

say what you want. Kenny Chastney had a lot of good hits. My mom loved Kenny Chastney now her favorite kenny wait no that's not that's kenny kershaw maybe or wait what was his name sammy kershaw sammy kershaw never mind mom's favorite song was by sammy kershaw queen of my double wide trailer yes or she don't know she's beautiful. What other ones did he have? That's the only two I can remember. Third rate romance.

Love and romantic. God, the Turners know the deep cuts from the First Shot catalog. No, no. It's, uh, um, it wasn't that one. Wait, maybe it was Queen of My Double Wad Trailer. With the polyester curtains and the redwood deck and the redwood deck yeah maybe that was it she used to play it all the time in the minivan i fucking hate my mom had a mix cd and half of the music on it i loved and the other half i despise

so it was like just a absolute game of russian roulette when she had it on mix you know i didn't know what was gonna come a headache or a sing-along. I imagine a lot of John Cougar Mellencamp was played in that. For sure. Janis Joplin. I love the Janis Joplin. My mom was really into Linus Morissette, too. And Jewel. My mom loved Jewel.

I was always really jealous of people whose parents were really into music. I mean, my parents had, like, some cassettes. But for the most part, I do remember my mom pulling me aside at like age eight and being like, this is Aerosmith and this is good music. It's a cool new band out of Boston. You might not have heard of them. They're called Aerosmith. My dad, one of his last acts. Terrence and his mom jamming out to Sweet Emotion.

This is Aerosmith a love and an elevator i'm sorry i'm sorry tanya i don't know i don't remember what i was saying oh oh about my dad he literally used to listen to tapes of roy d mercer oh yeah take real yeah yeah yeah to this day terrence will text me say how big a boy are you yeah i mean that's probably my first uh my dad definitely introduced me to comedy that's for sure he would watch these like late night hbo specials too and one of them me and my sisters used to repeat all the time and it was so fucking dumb it was literally about machine guns i mean was it like deaf comedy jam or what i don't know but my sisters and i used to scream i can't they've got my guns that was the kid that was the that was like the um um whatever you call it. I can't. There was a lot of

punchlines like that. Who's the Here's Your Sign guy? Bill Ingvall? No. Jeff Foxworthy? He's part of the Jeff Foxworthy tour but he was the least funny man on the planet that ever did comedy.

I thought it was just Jeff Foxworthy and Ron... Ron something. Ron White. Yeah. It was Tater Salad, the... Larry the Cable Guy, Jeff Foxworthy, and Bill Ingvall. Bill Ingvall was just like the nothing

burger of that whole crew. He had... And his whole thing was that it was, here's your sign. Here's your sign. That was his sign. Oh, okay. And he had a short-lived TBS sitcom that I remember the little vignettes they did for it. And one of them said, had Bill Ingvall in a collage and it had his quote. And beside it said, a lot of my friends call romantic comedies chick flicks.

I just call them a nap and i can just imagine i could just imagine a little you know like like the uh bugs bunny cartoons that they would pan to like a big audience just like laughing or so i could just imagine that happening but it's 40 000 coal miners just slapping their knee to that hi baby what's up ruby came to say hi the thing about marriage content is it's always gonna kill it's always gonna kill because like because everyone who's married is miserable exactly right because like marriage can be and is yeah is miserable well who's who's the king of the married content feel like sin bad does a lot of married content well i mean if you're older if you're a stand-up comic older than like 40 or you know 50 that's what that's most of your act that's what you want to do right because like you

can't get that kind of content this is what i'm realizing as i'm getting older i'm like oh yeah like in my early 20s i didn't understand like uh i didn't understand that stuff you know you need like decades of um lived experience That's really what it is. Yeah. That's true. We have the misery. Well, I'm finding this with writing too,

because like when I was in my early twenties, I used to just be like, yeah, I'm going to write a story about like a cowboy. And he's like, goes to the bar and he like drink. It's just like, I've not lived that life. How the fuck could I write something about that? You it's like but like you have this in your his idea

in your head as like the young artist that like you can you know write about anything or talk about anything or really and some people can some people really are that good and talented but most of us like we have to live a few lives to be able to write about something powerfully or make people laugh about something you know what i mean you know i feel like jack kerouac hunter thompson those types are on the hook for that mindset right you know what i mean it's like these guys made you think that if you hadn't mainline dope with an uncontacted people somewhere that you hadn't lived you know what i mean and it's like all they were doing just going around being like drug addled assholes and then like everybody's like oh this is what life is about well it's weird like it's weird

that writers got published you know like doesn't f scott fitzgerald's first book published when he was like 22 or something like yeah it's so weird to think about like there are again he turned out he turned out totally well adjusted and normal have you ever read the crack up i will say this about f scott Fitzgerald. The crack up really kind of shines a little light onto my problems with anxiety and depression. Because that's the best way. Being out of business is the best way I've ever heard it said. Who wrote it? Did Zelda Fitzgerald write that?

Or is that F? Well, I mean, that's about his sexual problems of being out of business. But he also says out of business as a metaphor for just being depressed and life having lost its savor. I see. I certainly can relate to both out of businesses. Tanya, you ever been out of business? I'm currently out of business, yes. Oh, God.

Well. I do every month. I'm out of business every month for about four days. Do not disturb. Be back next Monday. Yeah. No, you know I don't work Mondays. Barbara's holiday.

Be back Tuesday. Oh, shit. Barbara's holiday be back Tuesday oh shit did you guys watch the Mayor Pete doc documentary I wish I didn't know the words Mayor Pete doc I wish I didn't know those would go together I've watched a lot

of the vignettes but not as a whole body of work did you watch it no I've not watched it. From what I can tell, there's a lot of talk about authenticity in this movie. You're saying he's an authentic person? Something I try not to dabble in myself. I am a connoisseur of authenticity.

I love authenticity. You know how much I love it. You've dubbed the phrase real authentic people. I've heard there's a lot of real authentic people in this movie. Actually. I gotta bring up this clip

from the Mayor Pete thing. Keep talking. Everybody needs to hear this. Apparently, from what I can tell, it's like his husband Chasen trying to draw him out and present his real authentic self. Like, be a real authentic person, Peter. You can be real, and he can't do it.

He can't be authentic. That's the whole documentary? Yeah authentic that's the whole documentary yeah at the end he short circuits and it sounds like the real it's revealed he's actually a computer well that's it it sounds like the real authentic pete might be um a murdering sociopath you know i mean like cannot reveal that to everyone well you know like you could never picture well i don't know could you ever picture kamala harris like strangling someone with her bare hands like i don't know if i could you could you think so yes interesting i mean say more if she wouldn't if she wasn't high she's just too she's if she wasn't

gone off that loud she she loves to yeah she loves to stay going off that loud to her her talent i can't find this goddamn clip but i wish i could because it's mayor pete and chaston at a dairy queen and some town and they're saying, date night. And they're just looking at each other, and there's no, like, smiles, laughs, or anything. And Pete just, like, stares off to the distance. He's licking his ice cream. He goes, yeah, date night.

Oh, my God. From what I've, like, the clips that I've heard and seen, it seems very much like he hates his husband. Like, he hates Chasen. And I just, I don't think there's any underlying, like, reason or, maybe it's an issue of attraction, I don't know. But I think what's even more fundamental is he's a psycho. You know?

I think you're right. I think, too, the other thing about it is, I'm not speculating on his character or anything else. What I am saying is there's a non-zero chance that Chaston has to frequently tell his friends that he fell when they go and do things together. You know, Mayor Pete. Yeah, I can see Mayor Pete being abusive. That's the kind of the vibe I got from the clips I saw. Oh, you're saying that he has to tell his friends he failed because he's bruised up. Yeah.

I'm not saying that half-jokingly. I mean, I have no evidence, but I believe that man is being abused at home. It does sound pretty bad. What's the point of the doc is it to humanize this man is it to humanize uh old mousetrap whatever his fucking name is rat mode oh well i think so i think he's going to run for president again or something. It's so funny he does that howdy-doody shit when Joe Biden comes around. Yeah, right now they're starting the whole, we've got to warm up the buses for Kamala and Pete. And it's going to be so fucking funny

because Biden's going to insist on running again. I don't know what the fuck to tell him like he just told them to like you know to be at the ready just because he just like wanted to slide in there wouldn't it be a crazy turn of events if uh the dems took biden out if it ended up being an inside job if the dems were like we can't we can't ride this horse anymore. He's gotta go take him out back. Well, he's 77 now, right?

I think so, yeah. At 82, he's gonna be a little tougher to hide. So, yeah. I don't know. I don't know, but in any case, Mayor Pete is, that's that fucking McKenzie brain, man. I don't know what else to say about it, but like, that motherfucker harbors some dark energy the likes of this world can't even contend with. Who's McKenzie?

can't even contend with. Who's McKenzie? The consulting firm that probably a lot of people mention them as having been involved in fixing bread prices and that kind of stuff. That's the caliber of

dude we're dealing with here. They did try to unionize but they did try to like they didn't try to unionize but they did try to like um a group of employees there got together and tried to get them to stop working for fossil fuel companies we talked about it out on an episode it's pretty funny yeah that's like among the least of their crimes right that's so fucking bad man i don't i mayor pete is just a singularly heinous figure to me because you're talking about a guy so ambitious he sold his whole fucking generation down the river to be

like a transportation secretary and really is doing nothing with it except to just like set himself up to run for president after biden 2024 my favorite act as city and transportation secretary thus far has been him getting dropped off in a car a mile from an event so he could bike the last mile that was pretty tight i hate my personal favorite that's my personal favorite oh my real is that in the dark the hope i don't know no i think it's just about the primary run i mean i would like an inside scoop on how that motherfucker came out on top. I ain't gonna lie. You're telling me he won Iowa? I mean, that's just what real authentic people do, though.

I mean... They win Iowa? They win Iowa, and they get dropped off a mile from their campaign rally to show up on a bike. And that's why Pete is a real authentic person, and it's why I got mad respect for him. I got mad respect for anybody that's a real authentic person. Do you remember when

Pete Buttigieg was visiting the Holocaust Memorial in Berlin and Jason took a picture of him? I don't know where it was. I think they were at Auschwitz. Weren't they at Auschwitz? Was it at Auschwitz or like Dachau or something crazy maybe?

I think so. It was probably like a Taylor Swift. They posed at the Memorial to Murdered Jews of Europe in Berlin, Germany. And Chasen captured the photo of this guy. Oh my God. Oh, boy. What the fuck? They had, like, replica ovens out.

Pete tried to crawl in one. I'm zany. Chasen's like, this guy. Yeah, they were doing, like, zany poses At the fucking holocaust memorial Oh my god This guy This guy right here This guy

Like they're having a romantic They're on a romantic getaway I saw him do a keg stand In the showers Jesus This guy is just a wild, crazy guy wherever he goes. There's a lot of things

that could be encapsulated in that caption. This guy. Oh my god. I mean, yeah, he seems pretty bad. But maybe he'll run for president, and that would be pretty funny.

I have a question for you two. Do you care who the president is anymore? Definitely not. You know, it depends on the president of what? It's like the president of exactly the president of who? The president of what it's like the president of exactly the president of who the president of i believe we need strong leadership at state farm and all state but i'm not so sure about the united states of america well you know it's like i've been doing a lot more fiction writing recently and it's been nice. I've felt more creative and

just kind of relaxed and like, this is fun. I'm having fun with it. It's like, it's not serious. It's not political or anything. You hear that? Terrence is dabbling in poetry. Oh my god damn. You had to make it

lame. We got a soft boy on our hands. You had to make it lame we got a soft boy on our hand you had to make it lame this is what i talk with about my therapist about my friends don't support me they call me gay for writing poetry they call me gay and don't support my art but i was thinking about this though like i got through cycles with it and it's kind of the same with music um but I feel like I'm um you know in these sort of like even numbered off years like the second year um of a president's administration like I kind of feel more relaxed a little bit like I like you know I like like be a little more creative and experiment with other things but it's like this cycle of like every four years i don't know like why it's it's so

irresistible but i find it hard to completely disconnect from that like hype you know media politics cycle that gets kicked up every four years during a presidential administration and it's totally distracting i don't it doesn't. I don't think it's just you. There's billions of dollars being spent to suck you in. You're absolutely right. It's crazy. You can smell it getting ready to kick up with this Mayor Pete doc. It's like, I mean, this is like a very just sort of normie boilerplate point

to make about elections, but to the degree that anybody is getting anything done we talk about that right it's always like well uh he ain't done nothing like what is nothing you know we don't really talk about what that nothing or anything is but you there's really no time because you get a four-year term you know like after year one then it's just like the next three years are just spent running for the next one right i mean raising money all that shit that's why this mayor pete docs out like nobody really gives a flying fuck about a mayor pete doc but they just got to sort of like you know gin the sort of pr meals in case he you know biden says i'm not gonna run again or whatever so he can step in there and lose by the widest margin in american history probably the donald john trump

where god it would be just it would be pretty sweet for trump to be can you let me ask you all a serious dead ass question can you imagine a serious adult okay that goes into a room and says gosh damn trump owns the republican party unless they like bring him to hill somehow like he's probably gonna be their nominee again can you imagine going in there and saying i've got the perfect antidote to that and it's mayor pete trump would have so much fun it's like when i when I had a mouse in the house last fall, and Arrow would just bat it back and forth. That's what it would be like.

Trump would just bat him back and forth like that. Dangle him from his chin. Where's this Mayor Pete docket? Where can you find it? Is it on Tubi? Where is it at? Yeah, it's on the horror movie streaming channel. Yeah, Shudder.

Shudder. It's on Shudder? Yeah, it's on Shudder. I don't know where it's at. I've just heard people talking about it. I think it's, naturally, it's like an Amazon Prime thing. It's on RedTube. Yeah, yeah.

It's under the taboo section on Pornhub. It's under the embarrassment tab. You know, I don't know why though i don't know why i find it so hard to even though i know nothing will turn out um you know result from it i still get sucked into yeah the the kind of media spectacle the false sort of idea or the illusion that we're actually making a difference or an impact, like all the parts of it, you know what I mean? And maybe, maybe we are, or were, I have no idea. I don't feel like we really were in 2016 or 2020. Like those are two pretty big L's, 2020 like those are two pretty big l's but um still it's like i don't know why i find it so hard to not engage with it but i'm enjoying right now the off season it feels like we're in off

we're in the off season enjoy it pal because it ain't lasting long i don't plan to be in to come into an on season i'm staying in off season well that would be good if it's two of us. If at least two of us don't give a shit about it or follow it whatsoever, then, you know, that's quorum. So you mean to tell me if Trump's in this thing, y'all are going to set it out? It's too good to set it out it is juicy it does trump does make everything juicier i mean i i'm not rooting for him certainly so i don't want to be construed that way but like it's going to produce just such good comedy well i did see someone today. Where did I see this?

I want to say it was, I don't know. I forgot where I saw it. But regardless, I did see someone today. It was a comment that they were like, oh, it was in Speak Your Peace. It was in Speak Your Peace and the Mountain Eagle. It was like, I've got a question, more of a technical question than anything. Can Trump run for president again after he's sent to jail and it's like it's just a classic example of like you don't really believe that right you know what i mean it's just like the lives there are people that still genuinely believe donald trump will go to

prison really they're just sitting around it It's like the QAnon. They're sitting around waiting for the big reveal. And it's like they're so fucking stupid because like Donald Trump could literally have been found to be building a nuclear weapon with Al Qaeda

and he still wouldn't do a day in prison. You know what I mean? Yeah. There's literally nothing that's going to send him to prison. No. Because if you want to talk about cancel culture, if Trump goes to jail, you talk about cancel culture being ramped up. I did see they indicted Bannon, though. What'd they indict him for?

up i did see they indicted bannon though what they indict him for i think they like everybody in his periphery can go to jail for sure but he won't well i don't even think they i think they i thought they just like subpoenaed him and then like can they indict some i don't think that congress can like send someone to jail civics lesson sound off in the comments i don't have i don't know if like congress can just you will anyway yeah you will anyway so y'all leave our listeners alone we got a mini smart and savvy bunch of know-it-alls and they don't need your sass that is true that is true we're sorry but yeah i don't know if he's actually going to jail or not i don't think so i don't need your sass. That is true. We're sorry.

I don't know if he's actually going to jail or not. I don't think so. I don't think he was summoned before a criminal court. He was just summoned in front of some politicians. My bad. Typical reading half of a headline and speaking like I know. I have a memory. It could be faulty.

Didn't they find him on a boat somewhere, though? That's how it looked in the picture they used. look like they drug maybe like maybe it was like he was on the boat while like the feds confiscated no actually i think you're right i think he was arrested for something they were arrested for like defrauding someone or something okay just your standard white call crime right yeah i had a buddy of mine i won't mention his name that went to the pen for a check cutting scheme that involved also elements of the russian mob he told me something interesting after he did two months in uh tennis jail you know those like sokolov and sokolov like those late night like mesothelioma lawyers and shit yeah

Sokolov and Sokolov, like those late night mesothelioma lawyers and shit. Yeah. He told me that he was in there with some of their top guys and stuff. There was just different finance crimes and lying under oath, etc., etc. He said that when the FDA, or I guess USDA or maybe the FDA, or I guess USDA or maybe the FDA, whoever approves like the meshes and the different treatments for like whatever, you know, they're all set. Like, do you have like a wire mesh like case

that causes some kind of like health problem or whatever? He says that the government anticipates a certain amount of like, and this would be another one for people that know more than me to sound off in the comments to sort of try to make something coherent out of this but he says that the government knows like a certain amount of like lawsuits will come from this and like a certain amount of people will have like these negative side effects like when they like green light something it doesn't mean it's safe it means that only an acceptable amount of people

will die from this, and it's worth the risk. He says these late-night law firms know shit like that and know that there's a pot of money set aside for wrongful death lawsuits. That's what those lawyers are going for. They just go for that pot of money.

They go for that pot. Isn't that wild? That makes sense, though. dude america is so amazing it's just like it just put it just it just like posts up these like random surpluses here and there that like these vultures exist to like go after it's fucking it's just so crazy it is it. It's so, it's like just, I don't even know what to say about it, man. It's just like, it's just rotten to its very core. And the idea that there's anything virtuous about it at all, like when people start getting mopey-eyed about the National Anthem and shit, it's just like, this is a country built on exploitation, murder and genocide there is nothing it's like

it's like they should have put that sign you know like with the nuclear cats and was it new mexico okay i want to talk about there is nothing noble or good here that should have been that should have been like right there at plymouth rock i mean when you when you don't stand up and, and when you just chill during the national anthem in public, and people are like, what's your problem? I don't even know where to start. That's where you turn around and say, hey, have you ever seen Sokolov and Sokolov's commercials on TV?

Here's why I'm not standing. The government knew about mesothelioma congress gave teflon a decade this upsets me all the time because my mom still uses teflon against my will gave them a decade or so to get rid of their product to like complete because they knew it was full of carcinogens literally used to cook food and we're like well we'll give you about a decade to to chill chill get that lined out we'll give you about 10 years okay that's not you know when people get mad at joe mansion that's like you know he made all those sweetheart deals with dupont and all those companies that were like dumping all this shit in the ohio river like joe mansion it's still

wild to me when i found this out but joe mansion is just by himself shares responsibility for a chemical called c8 that is in every almost every single one of us right now it's like he's infected all of us in a way in that literally living rent free in our tissue yeah what's um what's the what's your method of um reacting to the did you say Pledge of Allegiance or a National Anthem? Because like I usually just go along to get along usually. Like I usually stand up. I might put the hand over my

heart but I'm not going to sing. But at the same time like I can't just like sit there because I don't want to like cause a scene or like something to whatever. I don't care. I've caused many scenes. I don't look I don't care but at the same time like I don't want to be cause a scene or like something to whatever i mean i don't care many scenes i don't look i don't care but at the same time like i don't want to be like a pretentious asshole it's like now are you aware of what uh goes on in etc you know because it's like who at a baseball game

like nobody's gonna give a shit i usually just try to duck into the bathroom to avoid the whole situation if i can but like i'm not standing for the anthem or the fucking play i don't know i was faced with this when i was on the council because i was like man oh that's a hard one because you're in front you're literally and on the let your county government channel which hell in retrospect i might as well have done a protest because they didn't re-elect me any damn way but but i didn't i was just like i'm a good boy i'm just gonna right here i love this country did you like there's levels though i mean okay so like obviously the most intense level is standing up,

putting your hand over your heart, and then reciting it enthusiastically. And then right under that, there is standing up, putting your hand over your heart, and then reciting it, but not enthusiastically. You mumble it. Then, the one under that, stand up, hand over the heart. Don't recite anything. Just stand there, like, looking like this. Like, motherfucker. Then, the one after that...

I think I did the hands behind the back in meditation. Okay, alright. That's the next one. You stand up, but you don't put your hand over the heart. You just put your hands behind your back or down to your side. You can just look like this.

The worst thing you can do is not take your hat off. Oh, yeah. I forgot about the hat. That's the worst thing you can do. I forgot about the hat. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's bizarre that other, like, faiths, like,

cover their head to honor God in ways. In Christians, it's like an affront to God to cover your head for some reason. Like, if you were to wear a ball cap in church when i was a kid that was like an unpardonable sin oh absolutely except for women like big church hats are very common with women and i guess wear a big big hat to church yeah there's like bonnets i know those are an old church i know those are hot on the streets these like bonnets I know those are church bonnets I know those are hot on the streets these days bonnets

surely it's a matter of time before the bonnet comes back right is that just a hat that ties under your chin yeah but it's like frilly and lacy or whatever you know you know what a bonnet is I've seen you wear a damn bonnet tanya i'm just trying to understand

you wore a bonnet to the derby three years ago i mean i've said before did i no i don't know you were not it was a cool hat though that i took up money in yeah no that was a big floppy hat i've said before we need a makeover as a crew like um and by that i mean like we all need to we wearing the same gear and like you know rings uh chains uh gold grills add to that the bonnet and like zoot suits let's wear zoot suits i'm down let's wear zoot suits. I'm down. Let's wear zoot suits and bonnets. The four of us. We got to get Aaron in on this. I say we do something dressed as dumb and dumber in those suits.

So two of us wear blue. I'm walking down Main Street. Oh, shit. There goes one of those true bullies. I'm in my zoot suit and my bonnet. Yeah, I just felt like you affected like a 40s accent or something like you're in a nowhere movement i don't speak i just flip i'll just like i'm gonna have a dip shot because we can't i'm not gonna smoke because that's too obvious you

need something a little more less obvious so like zoot suit bonnet i'm gonna have a dip in no i'm not doing that. That would be the most insane look anybody's ever concocted. Just like totally worthy of being instantly committed. Yeah, you get an unmarked, blacked out van comes up, tosses you in the back. We never see you again. Man, I didn't know about those fashion choices he was making. He didn't deserve to get snatched up like that, though.

We did not see it coming. I'm just saying, if we all started dressing uniformly, people would know. And word would get around. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. There go them trill bullies. That is true, Tanya. Well, y'all are going to have to dress like me. Because we ain't doing the reverse.

What? This is fucked up. You don't want to wear a suit suit. We just need something. We just need some uniform. You know, you're telling me you would not wear a zoot suit, a bonnet, a grill. I would absolutely wear a tailored zoot suit and a grill. I'm not sure what you're describing as a bonnet.

I'm not sure you know what a bonnet is, so I'm not entirely sure. I can't commit to the bonnet. I know what a bonnet is, I think. But I would definitely wear a suit and a grill for sure. Tailored only though. This is exactly what I was thinking. A bonnet, you know,

like show it to me. Well, here it is on a cat. It's best seen on a cat. There's a bonnet. Okay. Okay. All right. Those don't go together. They don't go with a suit. So's a bonnet on a cat. Okay, okay. All right.

I don't know. Those don't go together. That don't go with the zoot suit. What's wrong with you? No. That's the thing. It doesn't have to go together. But you just have to get people talking.

It's got to be a new terrain we've carved out. Right, right. A new frontier. Get people talking. Like, damn, I didn't think a bonnet and a zoot suit would work. You know, Ace at Rock, you occasionally wear a babushka. I feel like that's just the Eastern didn't think a bonnet and a zoot suit would work. You know how A$AP Rocky would occasionally wear a babushka? I feel like that's just the Eastern European version of a bonnet. Yeah.

What's the, what is that? You know, babushka is like the head wrap you'll see like sometimes Hungarian. He wore a fucking quilt to the Met Gala. Well, he can do that. He's gorgeous. A thrifted quilt. Who? A$AP Rocky.

He's gorgeous. He is. Why were we even talking about the best fashion choice ever? What were we talking about before that? Was Pete seen wearing a bonnet in the dock maybe the mayor oh we were talking about the national anthem in the pledge of allegiance oh yeah awkwardness of standing for yeah having to take your hat off and yeah or your bonnet i'm not taking my fucking trailbillies bonnet off but i'll stay listen hey i'll stand whatever it it'll be like on Donnie Brosco

Where they go to the Japanese restaurant And he won't take his boots off Because he's wearing a wire But he's like who won the war That's what I said Hey who won the war The only time I stand for the anthem Is when I'm with my mom

Because I fear for my life Will she make a scene Sheila won't have that for the anthem is when i'm with my mom because i fear for my life well that's the thing will she make a scene sheila won't have that i'm not saying i will or won't do it 10 out of 10 times 100 of the time it did you kind of pick your battles is all i'm saying like at a yeah yeah at a baseball game i've been to many baseball games the last 10 years and i do i do not stand at a prayer breakfast at baseball at a prayer breakfast in a small town i'm gonna stand i just yeah if any situation where willie lamb asked me to stand in prayer i'm going to well i like prayer i enjoy prayer well if if he asked me to salute the flag by God, call me Yankee Doodle Dandy.

You know, it really only matters what you believe about America in your heart, you know? Right. Beliefs matter. Actions do not. You heard it here first, folks. Do what you want, but just believe the right thing. As long as it's in your heart. It doesn't have to be. You're right.

I used to think about that. I was like, man, I'd really like to get into heaven, but I don't really want to outwardly be like a Christian or anything. Can I just kind of do this in my head? Can I just be a Christian in the mind? A mind Christian? Well, this is... A mind Jesus freak.

Technically you can, if you're saved by grace. You can do whatever the fuck you want, man. That's true. I like being a Christian, but without all the sort of aesthetic trappings and poor sort of optics of that. But I don't want to be one of those people that's like, oh, I'm not a Christian, I'm a follower of Christ, and then has, like, white dreadlocks.

There's just so, there's just, like, Christianity just offers you so many bad ways to be in the world, like, outwardly, and I've just never identified with any of them. And that's the only reason I keep flirting with the sinful lifestyle. The only reason I keep flirting with the sinful lifestyle. The only reason. Dude, I have to say, the most unhinged thing I've read in a while is... And this is a man who frequents Kenny Chastney's Wikipedia page. So you know this is going to be good.

Chesney's Wikipedia page. So you know this is going to be good. Wow. Another thing to tell my therapist I'm getting made fun of for being gay, for listening to Kidney Chesney. This is really good. I know we tried really hard to swear this bit off,

and we don't even have to do it today. But I just want to point out that in this week's edition of The Conversation featuring Brett Stevens and Gail Collins, Brett has COVID. Brett's got COVID, folks. That's a big twist ending. There is a big twist. Well, I don't have my phone with me. You'll have to email it to me.

Oh, okay. Bad bugs come down with COVID-19. It's pretty... Unfortunately, he tested negative for cock big 19. I like that one. Oh, damn. I just sent it to myself. My bad.

Hold on. I've got my text pulled up here. I think you can text it to me. Okay. It's in our group chat. Okay. No, then I don't have it. Because I'm sitting here looking at the messages.

It ain't come through. Tom sent it last night. Oh. You were just breezing through the mess. You're like, no, no, no, no, nothing to see here, nothing to see there. All right. My guy, Sammer the Hammer, pointed it out to me, and I said, well, one more for the road, I guess. I didn't know we were swearing that bit off.

You know, I was trying to phase it out, because it's been pretty brutal lately. It's not been that great that they just these characters just don't give you a lot to work with sometimes well it's yeah and it's um it's getting so predictable like the amount of references brett drops in a single little tidbit now like it's it's like he so badly wants us to know or to think that he is smart and um and he's the dumbest motherfucker alive and it's that it's just the juxtaposition of those two things is really hard to deal with after a certain, like he is the most tedious commentator, popular commentator in American media.

And I think I'm comfortable saying that there are some that, um, really give him a run for his money. Like Matt Iglesias is another one, but he, or Connor Friedersdorf, those three, those,

that's the holy triumvirate, man. That's unholy. That, uh, dorf those three those that's the holy triumvirate man that's unholy trinity that uh that is um the triumvirate of tedium truly um so yeah i don't know i sent it to you here's here the the title when the next thing you know is that you have covid published november 15th 2021 um you know we got to set this somewhere so you know brett was he's in a doctor's office um no i got a better one we're in atlanta georgia centers for disease

control i think this would be the second time we've been there but we can go back let's go back oh yeah well anyway yeah we're at the doctor's office let's just see a simple doctor's visit um so uh well, Brett starts out saying he's in quarantine. So I think we're in Brett's apartment. You're right. We're in Brett's

home clinic. He's got mosquito nets up and plastic sheeting. All right. Well, if you're ready to go, are you ready to go? Yeah,

I'm in my sick bed covered with a mosquito net you have someone waiting at your side uh you're being bled like cut um i've been bloodletting bloodletting holy shit brett has a doodle and he's got a dog uh yes so um you've got a dog next to you as well doodle so uh bastard i'm infecting with covid 19 as we speak what a fucking asshole it doesn't even know you're not supposed to have your animals around you when you test positive what really yeah i think you can pass it yeah i think that dogs have been able to catch it. I mean, the deers are catching it. They're all catching it.

Yeah. All just because Anthony Fauci had to get a Nobel Prize. All because Anthony Fauci lied. Hello from COVID quarantine, yeah. Hello from COVID quarantine, Gail. Hello from COVID quarantine. Hello from COVID quarantine, Gail. Breakthrough case edition. It's been six months since my second shot of Moderna and presto, I got it.

Brent, I'm so sorry you're sick or sickish. Do you think the vaccine protected you from really serious illness? Basically want to know how this affects your thoughts on the vax debate. Is he an anti-vax? I don't think he is. My case seems mild so far. Touch wood. Hold on.

Hold the fucking phone. Nobody has ever said that. It's knock on. Dude, he's such a freak. Touch wood. At every word, every turn of phrase, every idiom, he needs you to know he is not like any other person in america he is the smartest like most cultured knows he even knows how people used to talk back in the day touch wood touch wood my case seems mild so far, touch wood,

which I attribute to the vaccine's capacity to prevent serious illness. Either that or the Delta variant wanted nothing to do with me the moment it got wind of my views on the climate summit in Glasgow. I'm sure Delta is an avid reader. Luckily, the entire experience has been more Curb Your Enthusiasm than ER. Man, that's got so zany. It's like, we need like a counter in the bottom right-hand corner that like, you know, strikes a notch every time he makes some pop culture reference.

I've lost my sense of smell and taste which given the received which given that i've received multiple care packages from zabars makes me feel like the eunuch at the orgy what the fuck is he talking about his man i think this man's gray mat you know how how COVID's supposed to make your gray matter shrink a little bit? I think his has shrunk a little bit. He does seem a little more unhinged in this one than usual. He already mentioned touching

his dick and an orgy. Touch wood and I feel like the eunuch at the orgy. Just in the first two. My man is so horny in quarantine. My man's horny in quarantine he's he's horn horn team horn and team anyway my wife and kids and friends keep phoning to make sure i'm still breathing though secretly i'm delighted that i have an ironclad excuse

to see nobody do nothing go nowhere because no one's phoning. No one cares. No one cares. No one's... What they're doing is they're crossing their fingers. And I'm spending quality time with the world's best dog who just happens to be mine. And here he put a photo of

the... A white... What appears to be a white labradoodle i love a white floof and i'm pissed that brett has one it's a raise up for this dog who almost certainly will die from complications of covid19 oh my god now long term is this how you envision our future with covid for the vaccinated just like another kind of respiratory illness that has its season if so i guess we'll just adapt and people will eventually lose interest the next generation of covid sufferers will be lucky to get a gift of snickers or does the fact that there are so many folks in denial means something worse you know it's hard to say gail

scary news is the abrupt rise in cases in new mexico where nearly a quarter or nearly a quarter of recent hospitalizations involve fully vaccinated patients seems to me like a pretty good argument for making booster shots immediately available for the entire adult population nationwide the good news is that the antiviral pills from merck and pfizer is if they are as effective as they say in the trials a lot of lives could be saved and covid will hopefully become more of a nuisance rather than a play here's a here's a question um a i don't know if this is possible can you put vaccines in pill form and if so do you think that more people would have taken it versus a shot people love pills they do love pills yeah i'm just like tooting the fucking covid vaccine yeah you could crush it up. Yeah. Oh, man.

Agreed. And although we're supposed to be arguing, I've got to ask you about something else where I'm sure we're in accord. The death threats to Republican lawmakers who voted for the infrastructure bill. Obviously terrible. But does it mark a new level of social decline or just another typical chapter in the 21st century story brett you know we've lived a lot we've long lived in the land of what the great philip roth called the indigenous america berserk dude this is the so i guess there's nothing too surprising here. The surprise, even today, is that the term berserk also applies to a former and possibly future president of the United States and the congresswoman from Georgia's 14th district.

And for the renaissance of the berserk, we have to thank dear old Steve Bannon, who's busy trying to survive a federal indictment. I told you he was indicted. Well, I didn't say that. I didn't mean, I just meant. I didn't know if that meant he was going to jail. Gotcha. Ah, Steve Bannon.

It's been so long since I had to spend time dwelling on your character. That was a weird choice of dot dot dot god why does brett why does he always do this like these metaphors again it's it's just so transparently he wants you to know how like several things like he's like he's not a complex guy at all and this is why i want to stop doing this bit several like he's like he's not a complex guy at all and this is why i want to stop doing this bit because like he's so one-dimensional and it gets so tedious like he just wants you to know that he's both cultured well-read and not a philistine but he's also hip he watches things like family Guy. Dwelling on Bannon is like imagining the love child of Lady Macbeth and Peter Griffin from the hit TV comedy Family Guy.

Future historians will have to ask how a guy like him wound up doing the kind of damage he did. You would be thinking of Trumpism? Uh-huh. Here's a classic question for you to mull while you're getting your temperature down how much of a deep mean polarization in american politics is because of donald trump or is he just the product of something that was evolving anyhow i've always thought what a new and exciting question. In the year of our Lord, 2021. Oh, man.

You know, I've always thought of Trump as the symptom. I have never heard that before. Again, it's just like, that's why it's like doing this is they just ask and say this. That's been an interesting part of this exercise doing this bit over the past, like, I don't know, nine months or so, or I guess a year. Like, you really do get to see how they recycle this. Because no one else is paying attention to this. We might be the only three people in this goddamn country that read this thing.

And so it's like, we see that they recycle. We're keeping them in business. We keep them in business. Like, we see how they recycle the same, like, questions and references and everything. And it's just, it's incredible. They see the analytics. They're like, well, them three buffoons in Kentucky are still reading it. We'll still put it out.

Here's, this is a great observation. The disease was the stupidification of the right to use a stupid sounding word to describe a stupid making process. I'm so obsessed with the way new media has changed society. I can't help wondering if we'd be in the same awful morass. What? Without him. Although obviously less focused on him and less celebrity accelerated wait that stinance it's like a sentence from like a don delillo book i'm i'm so obsessed with the way media has changed society

can't can't sleep up all night of course they're obsessed with the way new media has changed society because it's rendered these like these two vestigial organs of how things used to be like like we're the last three people reading them brad here here's he's coming with the heat now i blame roger he's the guy most responsible for jettison that's roger l is not william f buck that was the editor's note old news values of objectivity sobriety and balance for new news value of perferfid partnership. There you go. Perferfid. That's a new word for Brett, by the way. He is the smartest guy out there.

Other networks then mirror image the same destructive formula. I also blame Twitter's Jack Dorsey for reducing the art of thinking into the act of grunting. And I blame the algorithm people at Facebook for accelerating our national descent into a collection of self-contained, self-reinforcing, mutually loathing echo chambers. Who are your villains, Gail? I'm happy to go along with your picks.

And especially interested in how folks like those algorithm people at Facebook are able to transform the national conversation. That's because Gayle's only ever been on Facebook. She never advanced past it. Another thing historians will look back on with wonder, how did a bunch of 20 and 30-something tech geeks become the masters of our political fates? But if I was going to go back a step Trump-wise, I'd have to add Rush Limbaugh,

who also pioneered the whole idea of turning shrieking political diatribes into mass media entertainment. Fact check. True. Now, on the disagreement end, Congress is moving on to the second part of the Biden domestic agenda, Build Back Better. Drives me nuts that we have to explain that build back better is the non-infrastructure part.

But beyond that, I'm a fan. Your take? Blowbacks better. I've reached the point where I hope Senator Manchin has the guts and good sense to kill it. I think it's a solution to secondary problems that we could address in a period of calm and prosperity, which, alas, is not now, and will exacerbate our primary problems, the chief of which is inflation. I also think it will deeply damage the Democrats in the midterms,

and to our progressive readers who got mad at what I just said, please remember that the moment the Senate flips to Republican control, the Biden presidency will be dead in the water, including on all of his judicial picks. with kids and for seniors in need of home health care to keep them out of nursing homes paid for with tax revenue from rich people who should have been attuning the whole time anting the whole the whole time i guess in this political climate the right wing could whip up outrage in the electric but in the public but if the public really comes to understand what it does it'll be a plus, Brett. You know, you may be right, and I may be crazy, and it just might be another big expansion of government that America's looking for.

The new Kidney Chesney song. You may be right, I may be crazy, and it just might be another big expansion of government that America's looking for. But I have a... That's a good episode title you may be right and i may be crazy but i have a hard time seeing how pumping hundreds of billions of additional dollars into the economy after we've already spent trillions on covid relief isn't going to just further raise inflation which is rising at the fastest rate in 30 years and should be the one thing the biden administration cares about most when it comes to the welfare of working people

okay is this what they've latched onto as the cost for inflation because they gave us too much money yeah biden said it i've not kept up with that. Biden took responsibility for stimulus checks he didn't even send out. Yeah. He was like, yeah, I guess my stimulus checks did contribute to it. He's just a portrait of... Joe, you forgot to sign the checks. We didn't even get them. We didn't even get them, man.

You don't have to take this one on the chin. It's not your fault. Like any good leader falling on get them, man. You don't have to take this one on the chin. It's not your fault. Like any good leader, falling on his sword, though. Dude, that's amazing. I mean, I don't pretend to know the real reason for inflation. That's above my pay grade. But I highly doubt that it's because they gave us too much money. On a different subject, Gil. It's not because they gave us too much money on a different subject gail it's not because they gave us too much money

on a different subject gail have you been following the trial of kyle rittenhouse in wisconsin oh the rittenhouse trial is another horror show about guns in this country the bottom line is that you have a 17 yearold marching into a situation of public disorder, toting a semi-automatic rifle he had no business possessing. But the way the trial is going and the judge is behaving, I'm worried he's going to be seen as a poor kid trying to defend his community. What's your thought? I think we're in accord that Rittenhouse should never have been where he was, much less with a gun. But teenage stupidity by itself isn't a capital offense, or else most of us would have gone to jail for life.

It's like, listen, in my time in Mexico City, I killed a lot of kids. I've killed a lot of people. But I talk it up to youthful inexperience. But not, I think, for shooting someone. He's likeience but not i think for shooting someone when you're talking about really for shooting someone anything when you're talking about killing people with what amounts to an assault weapon i don't know what dopey teenager is a good defense unless the people he shot were attacking him with one even pointing a handgun toward his head, the central point, it seems to me, is that the media and the prosecution seem to have a predetermined narrative

that is crumbling under cross-examination, which makes me grateful that we still have a concept of the presumption of innocence and a trial system that makes people take a much closer look at the verdict before or the evidence before rendering a verdict i just hope kenosha doesn't erupt in violence again if he's acquitted well i just hope the right wing doesn't the right wing doesn't get to use this as another sales point for guns but i'm not terribly optimistic on that front i saw something the rapper my son that went to jail for like possession of a gun but didn't kill him but he tweeted out that he got four years for possession of a handgun that didn't kill anybody just had a gun on him and this kid murdered three people and just and they were

about the same age yeah he was like in his early 20s or something when that happened anyway they've tried many black teenagers as adults for victimless drug crimes and put them away for fucking decades it seems very much like i don't know how i don't know did you guys see the thing yesterday or maybe a few days ago where they said that the judge allowed Rittenhouse to basically draw from a hat the name of jurors that would decide his sentence or whatever? I didn't see that. Yeah, he let him draw it. It's usually done by the clerk. It seems weird. It almost seems like every aspect of this trial has been geared to like inflame something like you know what i mean like get people to like like viscerally upset yeah yeah but it's like we haven't you know people haven't taken that bait and even i don't even know what

will happen but it's just it just seems like it's intentionally like every aspect of it has been geared towards like fanning the flames and trying to get people to burn down more mcdonald's and shit yeah i've noticed that too it is it is curious because like for all the idiosyncrasies of this judge like no judge is that fucking zany here you go young, young man. We're going to play Bozo's grand prize game for your fate for the next 40 years. Grab a ping pong ball and step up to the line. Jesus.

We're going to draw straws, young man. On that, we agree, Gail. And on a final note, I was deeply struck by Mark Lacy's poignant obituary for fw de klerk the white south african leader who wound up partnering with nelson mandela to tear down apartheid where's dolly's where's dolly's shout out what the fuck where's dolly's shout out oh i get fw de klerk is like a like an anagram for Dolly Partners. Oh, right.

You're right. A nice reminder that history also moves forward, thanks to the people who know how to lose gracefully, even courageously, and how to change their minds. Amen to that. Let's give it up for Red and Gale. Oh, yeah. Thanks. That's the last time

we'll ever do that one. Unless Brett dies of COVID. Yeah. No, I really can't do that anymore. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. The reason we're doing it, not because it's a tired bit,

because Brett's almost certainly going to die from COVID-19. Oh, boy. Well well we have a patreon if you'd like to go support us on patreon that website is p-a-t-r-e-o-n.com slash trailbilly workers party i heard the last episode was a banger that's what people are saying and please think about subscribing uh please think saying. And please think about subscribing. Please think about that. Please think about it, and then after you've thought about it,

go do it. Go do it. Most importantly, follow through. Follow through is important, people. That's absolutely right. Thanks for listening this week, folks. Any final thoughts, guys? Happy full moon.

Happy full moon. You know what? I could have said it better myself, Tom. That's right. All right. Well, we'll see you next time. Happy full poon. I got a million of them.