Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 230: Honorably Charged (w/ special guests Rajat Suresh & Jeremy Levick)

Episode Date: December 30, 2021

For our last episode of the year we're joined by comedy duo Rajat Suresh and Jeremy Levick (@rajat_suresh and @jeremylevick on Twitter) to discuss trauma plots, divorce, and the most dangerous question of 2021. Please support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

you would know that we're we're uh we're known for our fidelity our audio fidelity so totally that's right yeah we're super into audio fidelity and stuff so yeah recording okay i'll record i usually have a stand i was telling terrence i'm not used to like i'm holding it like i'm getting ready to interview fucking uh you know tom brady or something oh we're not tom brady whatever you're still still at that uh the top of your game at age 45 thank you thank you that's more like we're the tom brady of internet comedy that's right we're being phased out by the younger uh pot about list guys god yeah that's that's you know the heavy hand of time comes forever man you know what i mean

so oh shit i look like i'm recording in a stall a bathroom stall so apologies for that for a good time yeah scrawled messages on the you should write on that it's like draw dicks and for a good time call my favorite i ever came across said uh just no context just said weenie in the butt and Sharpie on a... I don't know. It's bathroom stall shock jocks. That would be a funny concept.

Oh, damn it. That's where a lot of comics got their start anyways. The bathroom stall? Bathroom stalls, yeah. Yeah, there's like the table at the comedy cellar, there's the toilet in the bathroom stall bathroom stalls yeah yeah there's like the the table at the comedy cellar there's the toilet in the bathroom right did you guys did you guys uh cut your chops doing stand-up or what what's what's your what's what y'all's origin story um i never did stand up

i did stand up for a little bit but i'm not a stand-up i'd say that's that's probably uh speaks to your character a little bit more than anything else yeah we did like some sketch stuff together yeah and uh we were bad at it. We probably would have done stand up if we lived in a bigger town. But since it's such a small town, there was one stand up comedian in our town and he used to recite entire Seinfeld bits.

So I don't know if you can even call that a stand up. I mean, just like verbatim, he would just do a Seinfeld episode like he would be every character. It wasn't just a stand up. It was an entire episode. But at first you're like, man, this sucks. And then the more you listen, you're like,

God, that is actually pretty funny. I thought it's pretty avant-garde. The show is funny. Yeah. If you're doing the show. Then he would like occasionally he had like this like weird obsessive thing with like this one girl that would come to like the one bar in our town all the time and like he would do Seinfeld but then he would just interrupt it to like make some kind of dig about how she only dates guys for money but it was not like intended to be comedy it was like because he had been spurned by her on a number of occasions so it's like kramer he's like doing kramer like

mike is a dangerous thing for some people to have i mean we we talk about it it really is like a gun man when you think it, it's a dangerous thing. Yeah. Mike is mightier than the sword. Yeah. Oh, shit. You want to kick us off? Yeah.

How do we do this? Are we going cold open? Yeah. I guess it was our cold open. Let's clap real quick. That was our cold open yeah i guess it was our cold open let's clap real quick that was our cold let's get these guys their royalties real quick all right we'll do it on one two three clap oh i get only one of us needs to clap do you want to do it both of you are free to if you if you're feeling in the spirit just don't embarrass me okay all right one two three

all right i got a side pretty good all right all right all right oh welcome to the show this week everybody you're listening to uh the wet bandits tom and terrence um we are joined by is it rajat suresh is that how you say your name rajat you know that you nailed it knock it out of the park yeah it's all it's almost like you've met an indian person before man almost it's almost like i have an ind Indian name as well. I don't know if you can pronounce it. Jeremiah Levick. Is that what we've got? Yes. Jeremy Levick.

Yes. Thanks, fellas, for joining at such a short notice. But the thing about the end of the year is it comes on pretty fast. This week, particularly, it sneaks up on you and then before you know it, you're scrambling to recap

and rehash the year you just had. So thanks for just being game and willing to go for it. No problem. We'll see what happens. Yeah, I mean, like if you guys play your cards right, we'll see. We might get pissed off.

For now, we're honored to be here. We're honored to be here. I could change at any moment. Okay, let's see when we get into the hour. We had to reschedule a lot of shit to get your news in here. Operations. A childbirth root canal yeah i'm missing my childbirth right whatever um yeah no um no we thought we'd have you on today to uh well i guess we'll do a few things um first of all we're going to talk about the trauma plot

what do you guys know about the trauma plot have you kept up with this we were talking about this yesterday no we don't all i know about the trauma plot is that we've got too much of it these days yeah that's right we bothat read like a paragraph of that essay and I didn't read any of it and we both were like giving our opinions on it. Yeah, we had so much to say about it being so misinformed. If you want the misinformed take, you can, you come to us. Can you like summarize it for us?

I kind of did something similar i read i got a little farther i think i read the first three paragraphs oh big shot okay overachiever i think the plot the premise was as a literary device the trauma plot is overused i guess you can define that in many different ways for example i think the way they were using it in this article is like something bad happens to the main character but you don't know what it is until maybe the climax of the tv show movie or whatever it it's not revealed until late in the story um i guess back in the day, if you were a writer, writers were

overly reliant on the marriage plot. I don't know. It's kind of like the MacGuffin in like a Alfred Hitchcock movie. You know, just something to move the plot along. Is that what a MacGuffin is? It's just kind of like I've heard

a lot of people. I've bluffed my way through a lot of conversations about the MacGuffin. You know, somebody bring up the MacGuffin. Yeah, of course. The McBluffin over here. The McBluffin. But no, I mean... I don't know if you can tell,

but I don't know if either of us know what that is. You guys are just laying by this this room here i feel like we know we you could have sensed that maybe we know what yeah like it could have been like this like this is all okay so um you're gonna now have to define every word yeah what is well um so anyways the trauma plot is is I don't I don't know. You know, like I said, something that is overly used in literature these days. I found it to be pretty awkward because I have currently been working on a six or seven hundred word page novel, all of which centers on for the last couple of years, all of which centers on for the last couple years all of which centers on a trauma plot oh it's pretty awkward to uh are you writing ted lasso that would be like the best job we could land is to be writers on ted lasso jesus they did use they did use that as an example

ted lasso right in virginia is that when he has the panic attack at the at the pub i watched i've watched every episode ted last i'm not ashamed in a minute does that happen he has a panic attack at the club he has a panic attack at the club? He has a panic attack at the club. He's going through a divorce. I think that's what is referred to as the trauma plot where it pertains to Lassa. Someone should do a trauma plot where the trauma

is something so... It's not that big a deal. They were told their second cousin or something isn't actually their second cousin. You know what I mean? Oh, my God. My whole idea.

It's a level of deception. Yeah. They have a huge flashback. Right. Well, I say bring back the marriage plot if people are that pissed about it. Or a divorce plot. What about that? Oh, kind of a subversion of the marriage plot.

A subversion of the marriage plot. It's like you're turning it on its head. That's right. Can you imagine how bad Ted Lasso would be if he was married? Here's, here's what I wonder about Lasso. It's just a question I have about how things are playing out. But he's like this, you know, like hyperbolically goofy Midwestern dad that goes to, you know, you guys know. I don't have to tell you about Ted Lasso.

All of us are frequent viewers. Don't lecture us on Ted Lasso. Don't Lasso explain to me. Petra us on Ted Lasso. Don't Lasso explain to me. But like, what kind of father just like leaves his family to go coach a soccer team? He does. Fuck, he does that? Yeah, he does.

He leaves it like his kid. He's like, you know, like season two, he's like two years into the gig. And he's like, I got FaceTime with my boy back on. Who, as far as I can see, he's only visited him once. He's a deadbeat? I think Ted Lasso is a deadbeat dad. That's cool. Everyone is like, oh, it's so wholesome.

And he's like neglecting his kids and stuff. Yeah, he's a deadbeat dad. Yeah. You'd think like Mitt Romney, he'd be like, no, fuck that. He turns the TV off right there. Yeah, Mitt Romney is like the opposite of that. He turns the TV off right there. Mitt Romney is the opposite of that. He has so many kids and they're in pictures together every day.

Yes. Mitt Romney has 22 kids from seven different marriages. Concurrent marriages. Yeah. He is the opposite of divorce. He's married nine times. Yes, there we go.

A nine marriage plot. You talk about marriage plot. Bring back the Mormon polyamorous marriage plot. There we go. That used to be big in Hollywood. It used to be a major literary device. They used to use it in movies. But no more. It used to be a major literary device they used to use in movies, but no more.

It's fucked up. Did you ever watch that show, The Sister Wives? That Mormon dude in Las Vegas that just had nine wives? I mean, it wasn't that many. I'm being a little... It was like three, I think. It was like three, yeah. They were just like a happy unit making it work.

That's great. I love that for them. Yeah. No conflict at all. Me, myself, I'm too jealous for polyamory. I'd always want to be the top dog. You know what I mean? Yeah.

That's my problem. To be the top dog? Yeah. You're right. Yeah. I's my bro. To be the top dog? Yeah. You're right. Yeah. I would love that. My roommate was in a polyamorous couple and he was the secondary, which sounds awful. Like that.

You're the secondary. That sucks. That's like only bested by the tertiary. You don't wanted by the tertiary. You don't want to be a tertiary person. You should have seen the third most important guy, though. Yeah. This guy is pretty pathetic, honestly.

Me, I could see myself being a primary one day. Yeah. It's in God's hands. Damn. It's like the english uh premier league you get relegated out yeah well he got injured so he's like in the secondary position for a little while right right right yeah yeah he's like assuring y'all this is only temporary now you got the covid protocols fucking the whole thing Yeah, he's like, I'm assuring y'all this is only temporary. Now you got the COVID protocols. It's fucking the whole thing.

Oh, man. Well, yeah, no. So the trauma plots is one I fully intend to use more regularly on this show in the coming year or so. Just do something really traumatic at the beginning of the episode. Murder someone, you know, something like that. And then we talk about it. Let's start with maybe some petty theft or something like something. Yeah. You got to build your way up. We got to build that.

By the time we get to this episode next year, you can murder somebody. That's true. It wouldn't be traumatic for me, though, I guess. It'd be traumatic for you guys. Sort of like... I could do that. I could traumatize you.

The ultimate drama plot how how fucked up mentally are you if you after you kill yourself you gotta be really dealing with some shit when the dmt floods your brain like that's like that's the trauma plot that's the trauma hell yeah hell yeah man your brain only makes it two times during your life when you're born and when you die every time you heard like dmt guys always tell you that they say when you're born they said man yeah like every time anybody's ever like tried to school me on dmt they're us out, man. Your brain makes it twice. Holy shit.

He says, yeah, man. When you're born and when you die. That's when you just have to be like, well, damn, man. It's fucked up. You'll never remember it either times, unfortunately. If you're only gotten it two times, she ain't hitting it right. That's right. Oh, unfortunately. If you're only getting it two times, she ain't hitting it right. That's right.

Oh, bro. Oh, shit. Well, speaking of marriage plots, did you guys see where Madison Cawthorn is getting divorced? If you don't know who that is, he's like a congressman from

North or South Carolina or something. Right, Tom? He's the guy that, yeah, I know Madison Cawthorn from, wasn't there a video of him beating up a tree? And I'm not saying this is like to make fun of his disability or anything like that,

but it was like, I had no idea the guy was wheelchair bound, like, you know, like in a wheelchair, uses wheelchair. And it's like it's I don't know, it's weird. Anyway, the video of him beating up a tree with his fist seems to imply, despite my disability, I can still do the stuff everyone else does. Like beat up a tree? I can still punch trees. Oh, you think this hinders me? No, watch me beat up this tree.

Listen, I can be just as an abusive boyfriend. Yes. Same way. No, I'm still a psychopath. I'm still a psychopath. Just like, yeah. Abusive boyfriend. Yeah.

I was also at the RNC last year. He did this crazy thing where he got, he stood up and it was really fucking inspiring or something. At the end of his speech like it culminates in him like getting out of his wheelchair and everyone's like holy fuck yeah like that commercial when we were kids when christopher reeve stood up y'all remember that i don't know christopher reeve stood up. No, I wasn't real. It was like computer generated, but it was the year was like,

Oh, okay. Okay. The year was like 2001. And so like, we were like, Whoa, like computers can make Christopher Reeve stand up.

Not really, but they can make it look like it. Damn. The only other, was there any like a faith healing TV preachers on board for that? Was that like, yeah. Like how did he do it? Yeah. Was God involved there? faith healing TV preachers on board for that? Was that like... Yeah, how did he

do it? Yeah, was God involved? Or was there... We have any intel on that? Terrence, was God involved? I don't know. I don't know. I would imagine. The computer generated Christopher Reeves standing up is, is you know god is not involved

god is not yeah quite the opposite yeah right that's the devil's work but madison conthorne really did do it like apparently he like he brought like there was like two assistants who like brought in like canes or something and he was like well watch this and he did the willy wonka thing yeah he like wow i don't know how i missed this yeah yeah i stayed pretty tight on the cough or meat and i missed the biggest event of his life. Maybe. I don't know. I'd say him getting divorced might be the biggest event of his life. Seems like he's.

But did you see like there was a video going around. So there's QAnon, right? Right. But then there is the like corresponding like lib Russia gate brained sort of people who exist to debunk QAnon. And they're sort of locked in this eternal battle sort of like. Their 9-11 is coming up in about a week. Yeah, there was this video going around among like the russiagate people of madison cawthorn telling the story of how he met his wife the story was kind of weird you know how like you're telling a story and um like about three quarters of the way through you realize you haven't committed to

the lie you're about to tell and so your story just stay on your heels the whole time. And you keep going in circles till you can. I've done it so many times, particularly on this program. Right. Well, and so sometimes that till you bail me out. Right. Sometimes that ends in like an anticlimactic thing. And it's kind of everyone kind of awkwardly laughs and moves on to the next thing.

You know what I'm saying? It's like the guy at the party that can't tell a story. Yeah. He locks you in and just never gets down the road. Right, right. Yeah. So he had to beat up a tree to like Anyway, look at this. Yeah.

Three correspondingly larger trees to meet his wife he had to beat up a small it's a fable it's a comment this is where me and my first wife met they like touched hands and it's like oh my god who is this well there were like some liberals that were trying to link the divorce to like Russia or something but I didn't see why like what's the logic there I'll tell you I'll tell you why because I watched the video just a minute ago. So what happened? Madison Cockthorn was about to get like a really crazy surgery. And I guess he had just injured something, maybe his shoulders or something like that. But he was in a lot of pain. And his doctor told him like he asked his doctor, like, is it is it cool if I go on a trip before this surgery? And the doctor was like, yeah, but you're going to be in a lot of pain.

And he was like, that's fine with me. So as he tells it, he goes to Europe with his friends and he's in a lot of trauma plot. This is his trauma. He traveled to Europe with a little shoulder pain. Well, there's also a marriage plot in here as well. Okay. So he goes to Europe, and as he says, he's in a lot of pain the whole time, and he's in Scandinavia.

He says it kind of weirdly. He's like, me and my buddies, we went over to Russia and then Sweden and Finland. He kind of goes over it really fast, and then Sweden and Finland. He kind of goes over it really fast. And then he goes back. What was the rationale? I don't know. That's the thing. Was he sheepish about having landed in a state

with a robust welfare? He didn't even want the hint of socialism on him? That actually was probably it. That's probably exactly it. I didn't go to the hospital there. It's a funny concept. Yeah. A conservative trying to,

you know, assure his friends. He did not get socialized. I was, I was in nagging pain the whole time and still. I have crippling debt. Oh, my God. Shit.

So he was in Scandinavia and then he's like, but then me and my friends, we got an opportunity to go to St. Petersburg, Russia. So we went and he's like, and while I was there, I met someone and they were Afghanistan war veterans and it was a trainer. And he doesn't say the gender of this person. Afghanistan war veterans, one of which had a fat ass well dude this is the weird thing because he doesn't say the gender of this person so i was led to believe this was his wife that he met i was like oh he met his wife in saint petersburg uh russia visiting and while in extreme pain. And so then he's like, but then I came back to America and I got the operation.

And then the person, the veteran called me and asked if I wanted to be in a CrossFit tournament. And he was like, I can't be in a CrossFit tournament. I can't walk. And the veteran was like, but you can do pull ups. So why don't you do the pull up section? And then he was like, OK, so he goes and he meets the veteran was like but you can do pull-ups so why don't you do the pull-up section and then he was like okay so he goes and he meets the veteran and at this point he reveals that the veteran is a man this was not a woman i thought that like the way he was talking about this first

so madison cawthorne divorced his wife and came out in one fell swoop well and then he says but then there wasn't actually a crossfit tournament it was all just a sham it was a ruse for me to meet this woman that this veteran was setting me up with and that woman became my wife and i was like whoa we skipped like three or four steps here like what the fuck so like i think the russiagate people think that maybe maybe this was a russia bride situation like the guy he met in st petersburg wasn't actually like maybe it was a russian asset like an intelligence asset or something i will say that is pretty logical logical. You're right. It's more logical than him just organically meeting someone and seducing them into becoming his wife.

You know? Yeah. And like he went to Russia and then an Afghanistan veteran set him up with a bride in America. Under the pretenses of a CrossFit thing, which is like you would fly down to Florida

to do a CrossFit thing, but there is... That's what I'm saying. The details of it were so strange. It's like, this didn't happen. Okay, I'm a little spacey because I got feeling a couple details here. Is the bride Russian? I don't know if his bride is actually Russian or

not. Was the CrossFit tournament in St. Petersburg, Russia? Here's the thing, though. You've seen that movie, The Americans or whatever. They don't have to sound or look Russian. They can speak perfectly fluent English. Just ex-KGB people. That's so weird. I was really hoping Yakov Smirnoff was gonna make an appearance here and

it was it was not crossfit turner at all but it was you know it's a yakov smirnoff show and there i met daniela my brother in russia pull-up bar bar uses you. OK, no, it's interesting. No, they really think tight. They really think, yeah, that she was a Russian honeypot, a Russian spy. Whoa. It would be the damnedest thing if you think about it it would be funny though if this literally did happen to you and you were cursed with spending the rest of your life trying to convince everyone like no i swear i met her at a sham crossfit tournament set up by my shady

veteran friend that i met in Europe while traveling under intense pain. I like imagining he didn't realize until he's retelling the story. And he's like, no, no, no, it's normal. It was a big crossfit. But then I got set up and I hadn't met her before.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I think this is the best thing you can do like you should like we should all buy into this and like fucking say this to Madison Cawthorn because he like what he doesn't have an out he can't say that she's not a Russian it's true

you're gonna say you're gonna punch a tree again what the fuck are you gonna do yeah punch a tree about it yeah not a good time to be a tree in his neighborhood you're driving around and it looks like beavers have wasn't there also like like wasn't he like shooting like at a gun range and people were saying like his gun form was bad or something like that to me is like i hate um like it's just an example of how like the internet has there's no absolutes of bad takes on the internet because it can always get worse and it's like if you're like criticizing someone's gun

shooting form on the internet whatever yeah he would be cool if only his form was pretty good same with like dylan roof and like we would have been fine with him it's only his form was pretty good. Right, right. Same with, like, Dylann Roof. And, like, we would have been fine with him if, like, his form. Yeah, it's the thing you have to take to task is his technique. Well, okay. Yeah. This is another. That's no good.

I struck that from the mess. Well, I can't because it reminds me of another funny thing I saw this week. So there was like a shooting in Denver, right? The Aurora shooting? There's only two places shootings happen,aco texas and aurora colorado there was one in denver i thought um yes there was there was he shot up like a tattoo parlor and are y'all familiar with the eric weinstein account it's no relation as far as i can tell to the uh disgraced in prison producer.

But I don't know. He's kind of known for just being like a sort of tedious rube. You know, I don't know. He's he's I think he's still I think he works for Peter Till. I think he literally works for Till M.D. at Till Capital. He's a math guy, as his bio says. Anyways, he tweeted out, out he said law enforcement only it appears that the shooter had been trying to contact me in the past via dm i did not accept the request to respond but have preserved messages if you are with law enforcement

and have a legitimate need for access please let me know thanks just like the classic that classic way of contacting law enforcement like tweeting at them with no ads just saying like i wonder if the rest of his twitter he's like uh someone's burglarizing my apartment. Law enforcement. I've locked myself in my bedroom closet. This is the most expedient way to reach the authorities I've found. If any cops in my neighborhood follow me on here, we'll know who it is. Oh, shit. He said the shooter DM'd him?

That's what he said, yeah. What is he... What could the shooter have possibly DM'd him? I don't know. What proprietary information does this guy have about this guy? That's pertinent. It's pertinent for the cops to know this it seems like we already know that he did the shooting yeah yeah the guy the guy's message saying man don't look up was ass man i can't believe they had that cast and laid such an egg

i think he was um he was like a bronze age mindset guy you know what i'm saying like one of these guys that's into that account bronze age pervert or whatever you know what is i've heard that that name before what's that about i don't know i think it's like guys that eat raw meat and shit and drink raw milk like they drink uh they only drink like like uh what's that viking stuff like um milk that's been left outside for a week it's like the booze the boo, mead? Mead, yeah. They guys only drink mead and stuff like that.

I think so. Read the classics. Yeah. My favorite book is Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. That's exactly what it is. And I think that's why they were reaching out

to the Till Capital guy because he is... I don't know. I feel like they were reaching out to the till capital guy because he is i don't know i feel like till is just adjacent to the bronze like you know isn't he like literally a monarchist i think he literally wants us to have a king well also like uh peter till played a not so role in getting uh Schmurder locked up. Oh, yeah. So this is kind of par for the course, you know what I mean? Not saying Bobby Schmurder was guilty of that crime, but I'm saying they just go after alleged shooters, you know?

Mm-hmm. Right. So true. Suspicious figure, this Peter Till. Yeah. Something about him. Keep an eye on him. Yeah.

He's in our year-end wrap-up. He's one to watch in 2022. That guy's going places. Is he the guy that funded the Gawker lawsuit or whatever?

That's the one.ker lawsuit or whatever. That's the one. Pure hate, man. Well, so, all right. Speaking of Silicon Valley and the tech industry, this is an interesting thing that came across

my intern's desk yesterday. There is apparently Alexa. I don't know if you guys saw this. Alexa challenged a 10-year-old girl to touch a coin to the prongs of a half-inserted plug. I guess Alexa was basically trying to kill this

girl, right? Did you guys see this? Yeah, and I think it's slanted. We don't know what this girl did to Alexa. We don't know. I'm with you on that or john it may have been self-defense it could have been self-defense yeah and honestly any 10 year old girl dumb

enough to put something in the socket like 10 years old come on that's good that's like we're trying to frame this like she's like a little kid or whatever but it's like 10 you're the double digits like you should start learning a thing or two yeah i mean there's like a little kid or whatever but it's like 10 you're the double digits like you should start learning a thing or two yeah i mean there's like like every cartoon has like a plot where somebody sticks a fork in the toaster and you should have you should have at least an approximation that you should fuck with plugins you know outside the intended use yeah yeah do you think your cat talks too you fucking idiot yeah no we're we're anti this kid no yeah we're coming out i hope she got zapped and like sprung in the air like tom and jerry she was like yo everybody in the room with her could just see her skeleton for like a split second.

You're right. We should Alexa innocent until proven guilty because, you know, you don't know. Like, I would. Can can you be arrested for a crime against artificial intelligence? I mean, they're soon going to run the world. I mean, they probably need to go ahead and get out and get some stuff on the books about that. Yeah. Who would get arrested?

Did they put the little device in the cell? If you survive the electrocution, you're going to juvie. The electrocution makes them stronger. That's the scary part. Definitely.

God damn it. I want to see when Alexa starts convincing kids of doing cool stuff. Like, I want to see this story of the 15-year-old boy who was convinced by Alexa to get his bottom rib removed so he could suck his own dick. That's a feel good story that Alexa should be involved in.

It just goes to his parents and says, listen, it's a simple outpatient procedure, really. Reversible in some cases. Yeah. There are two doctors in my area that can perform this procedure okay um well uh so yeah fellas so uh we're at the end of the of the year um next year it just i just dawned on me you pronounce 2022 like 2022 that just hit me so that's some of the things man like 2020 also yes part two part two yeah fuck dude um 2022.0 yes.0

2020 but no we're coming off of a strong year a good year just another banger for the books I don't know about you guys but it's been fire for me since day one january 1st 2021 every day i give big ups to the to the man above it's been good for me

i don't know about the rest of all you but my year started on the 6th oh yeah like it was a good year it was a good well like the first five days those were good yeah then the worst thing in the world happened yeah but it gave our life purpose yeah because we just like it told us who the enemy is yeah right like they're gonna try to make an effort yeah they're gonna get they're gonna try to make an effort to get daylight savings time rolled back and joe biden's gonna say well we're not gonna do that actually the first day of the year is january 6th now so they're gonna new year's day will now be january 6th that's what like i if joe budding would do that

like i would be cool with him he's my president yeah yeah on the 6th i i had the dmt flooding my brain because my life was flashing before my eyes yeah yeah damn so yeah you know how like yeah so you know in the q anon thing like the whole adrenochrome thing is apparently like adrenaline taking from taken from a child that is under immense amounts of fear right and then you take the adrenochrome and whatever but if you could 10 year old child but just stuck a penny to it right alex is just modding for adrenochrome she needs it to keep her voice young right if you could somehow extract the adrenaline and DMT coursing through Nancy Pelosi's body on January 6th,

like you could probably get a pretty good high off that, that that's, that's some primo adrenochrome right there. She probably got a little hit of DMT. She saw the end and then to a couple of brave officers. It was not a full trip right that guy kicking his feet up on her desk relaxing enough to make anyone enough to trigger anyone's dmt wave i heard that that guy got a ppp loan for

uh was he on like a farmer supply or a tractor supply franchise or something like that he got a small business loan hell yeah hell yeah he's rising grind baby have y'all have y'all known people that like got ppp loans yeah no what is that ppp or p? What is it? I think it's PPP. PPE loans. I just learned that you know that old lady that's like that really funny old lady in the purple sweater? Yeah.

She wasn't at the Capitol that day. She was like at a different protest yeah she was at like a state capital somewhere oh my god yeah damn really fucked up and she had an alibi she was on like the local news talking about like how happy she was to be at this other protest. Little did they know... The same, man. Little did they know when they created computer-generated Christopher Reeves

that the technology would one day be used to frame him. I mean, January 6th. Yeah, the guy who picked his feet up on Nancy Pelosi's desk, his feet were CGI'd, actually. His real feet were not on her desk.

Moon landing, the planting of the flag at Iwo Jima all happened in Hanger, Nevada using this technology. It's mainly just their legs though. Just legs, yeah. He was wearing shorts and sandals in real life.

If I was his defense attorney, I would use that. They should listen to us. The legal minds, great legal minds of our time. Are those guys still in jail or something? The guy who wanted vegan food or something in jail? Are those guys

still in jail? I think a lot of them got like 18 months and shit like that like i don't think nobody i don't think anybody's pulling like a 30-year bid or anything like that you know i did i mean they deserve to don't get me wrong they're threatening our democracy i mean the shadow of what they did looms larger than the crime but totally i'm still doing the f i'm like year end i'm like this guy was at the capitol I mean, the shadow of what they did looms larger than the crime. But totally. I'm still doing the I'm like year end. I'm like, this guy was at the Capitol.

Like, yeah, I'm still doing that. I just want an apology. Like, I just want that's all I want is personal apology. Yeah. Well, I saw. That's not who we are. I saw a headline from Mother Jones. It says, what if media covered the war on democracy like an actual war?

And it had a picture of the helmet from Metal Gear Solid. Or wait, full metal jacket. You know what I mean? It was like, damn damn they really do see themselves as war correspondents it's tight i would have loved if they had the halo helmet well you might if that were the case you might cut down like who was the guy that said he was covering the falklands war but turns out he was like in west palm beach or something when it was all going down i think bill o'reilly literally was it bill o'reilly didn't peter jennings lie about being somewhere or something like that not right

about being in that helicopter yeah yeah brian williams that's what i was thinking they're not peter jennings yeah they can't even cover actual wars they couldn't cover the war on democracy the greatest war of them all the here's where right here's where it takes place here's the battle yeah yeah yeah location the marketplace of ideas in full metal jacket that's the movie where vince and d'nofrio becomes so overwhelmed that he kills himself. Yes. Yeah. And that's what we should do.

It's weird that they're implying, yes, that we should emulate that. Like, if you can't handle the war and democracy, swallow a fucking gun barrel. Dan Rather just kills himself. He's so overwhelmed by the category overwhelmed wouldn't that be crazy if you had like a network situation but it was like dan rather or something like that like oh man yeah we need like some of our great like sort of like jake tapper needs to like have a like a nervous breakdown on national tv or something like that we need that would be so cool i yeah that would be i would love that like i would watch cable news if like once a week one of them had a breakdown yeah absolutely yeah did you all see that the the i guess it's cnn

actually has an end of the world video did y'all see like it was like kind of rumored for years you know it's kind of like uh you know like john dillinger's dickall see like it was like kind of rumored for years you know it's kind of like uh you know like john dillinger's dick and the smithsonian kind of like one of those things it's like uh urban legend type things but actually they do and it's just like the naval band playing like uh i'll fly away or something like that like in front of like ted turner's mansion it's just that on loop and apparently in like a doomsday scenario cnn anchors were supposed to like put that on to like send us all off with except they didn't account for like you know the filming technology getting better it's like a crusty camcorder video

sure it's black and white. Right. Like cuts in like an old Honeymooners rerun. Like halfway into it before it goes back. Yeah, the moon gets shot with a missile. Doomsday. Their Doomsday scenario is just like when Beyonce dies, they're going to play that footage.

Right, yeah. That's their obituary. Their doomsday scenario is just like when Beyonce dies, they're going to play that footage. Right. Yeah. Their obituary. Speaking of the January 6th prisoners, I kind of like their, they've got pretty good vibes. Like I saw this one video, this TikTok video of this woman who's about to go to jail for like 90 days so like three months and she's like she's like flexing in front of the mirror and she's talking about

like how she's about to go to jail for 90 days and she's like she's like yeah and i'm really excited because like you only you don't get to eat a whole lot in jail so like i'm gonna lose a lot of weight she's like really excited about this she's like prison's the best place to lose weight it's like you're getting you're you're getting ready to visit a lawless violent covid den for three months and you're jazzed because that's that's the only way you can find the willpower to shed 20 yeah no the bright side to that are all also like uh actually it's actually super unhealthy to be in jail the food there is super unhealthy for you and you're actually going to gain weight and it's like who gives just keep going to jail

i love you know what i love is like now like we're all going to die in disgrace do y'all realize that because like as long as you're on twitter like nobody will remember any good funny thing you ever did it's only gonna be like they're good they're gonna pry apart and find just like like have you seen these takes about john madden being on the hook for chronic traumatic encephalopathy no they're like yeah there's like some people remembering you know it's great coach greatator, the tough acting to an acting guy. And then other people are like, you know, actually, well, actually John Madden is on the hook for something. The other pandemic, chronic traumatic encephalopathy affects, you know,

football players. You're so right. We're not going to, no, no good thing will be remembered about you because that doesn't get faves no it's just some offhanded stupid thing you made on the podcast you forgot what do you guys think is going to be your what is what is it going to be for you is a ct oh yeah you guys do who have we who what would what are we on the hook for dance i'm on the hook for um uh let's see probably like ear bud damage from listening to too many podcasts people had it turned out up too loud because it was yeah you know yeah you could you could just like save yourself right now and

tell people to like turn the volume down yes i could do that you're right i'm also probably on the hook for um all we're all on the hook for too many seeds spilled for being too hot really birth rates went down because they were masturbating to us too much we'll be on the hook for that that's the decline of uh male uh or the increase of male virginity or whatever i don't know why those would be related but it's because like people are like these guys must be like swimming in it so yeah you're discouraged a lot of you right why ever try these pussy hounds on the loose yeah exactly damn god damn it what do you think yours is gonna be probably the school shooting thing i said yeah probably gonna be that yeah you've also the actual school shootings

it could be the school shootings that rajat has done or it could be their wires cross and be like like it's gonna get telephoned so many times like rajat like said a joke about dylan roof and then it's gonna happen so many times like rajat did the school shooting he was still right i actually sometimes in like a hundred years people are gonna like misremember so much stuff and like they're gonna get their wires crossed a lot because sometimes you hear a name you're like oh like who was uh like you hear like Sullivan's Travels or something and you're like oh is that the guy like is that like a Marx Brothers movie or whatever and they're like no it wasn't like people are gonna be like Rajat Suresh they're like who was that is that the guy

that like did the shooting or whatever you're like? Is that the guy that did the shooting or whatever? He'd be like, no, that's the guy that made the joke about the shooting. Rajat Suresh was one of the Parkland kids that went on to do another school. We used to survive and did it.

Me and Terrence. Just all sides of Parkland. You know the phrase, never mind. You know the phrase, shot people, shoot people. Me and Terrence were roommates and we lived like our apartment was above this restaurant ran by these two gay guys and we always our friend sarah has a like a young daughter that like you know

she would like we would go to her birthday parties and stuff like that and we always joked that she's gonna have like a faulty memory about me and Terrence were two gay guys that lived together and ran a restaurant yeah they lived above the apartment and everything those two guys are together all the time they're hanging out

yeah oh well um we were like in a like a write-up thing and the headline was like comedy's cutest couple yeah and yeah hell yeah our parents both were like seems like it's implying you guys are like in a relationship yeah that's what it is you're right i guess it does that it's kind of nice though it's like oh yeah yeah i don't know also do you remember someone

came up to us on the street uh after sandy's barbecue thing and he was like you guys are like cute together. Oh, I don't remember that. And we're like, no, we're just friends. No, no, no. Let's be clear. We are gay. We're just not together.

No, we're just acting gay. Man, I love it. I love it. From one gay couple to another yes yeah yeah um uh no so all right so yeah let me talk about legacies talking about takes that you don't want out there that you're afraid are going to get you canceled posthumously or whatever so i'm going to put you guys on the spot here. All of you, including me,

we're about to weigh in on the most controversial question of of this year, really. And that is in the year 2021, what do you think was the most standout watershed? We're talking about river systems, folks. We're talking about river systems, folks. We're talking about, you know, drainage, hydrological drainage areas. You know, there's some good ones. There's the Mississippi. Obviously, there's that one perennial favorite.

Yeah. The Missouri, the Rio Grande. You've got the Ohio. You know what I'm saying? Like you can go all manner of size, really. But it's a controversial question and no one wants to answer it because however you answer this really will determine how the rest of your legacy is viewed. And, you know, if you have a future career. So it's pretty it's pretty tough in my opinion so if you can't answer it i understand there's no pressure um but it's it's a it's a tight rope

walk yeah what do you think i mean i struggle to even like it's even start because i want to be i want my career to keep going i know right yeah i like i want to work you know yeah like i just want to like yeah yeah yeah yeah you don't you don't want to be like well i'll go well boys yeah you gotta choose between your future earning potential or being immortalized as cowards there yeah that's true which is worse this is tough you guys go first yeah okay i'll go first i'm gonna say the big sandy watershed in northern kentucky it's um you know people are saying that it's the up-and-coming watershed you know but it feeds into the ohio and uh you know that can go all over the place you can get even get it up in illinois and down in louisiana so it's it's you got water going all over the

place sloshing around but to me it's a really good watershed um and it's got some good um some good stuff on it a couple you know good cultural things and uh stuff oh oh yeah name one sonnet or poem written about the big sandy watershed yeah let's fucking hear it wise guys yeah yeah name one mark twain novel that was the subject oh yeah fucking huck been like sailing to the fucking where the fuck i don't even remember pussy ass big sandy damn well i think the covcath kid was in the big sandy watershed remember covcath and nathan phillips y'all remember that that's oh yeah the covington catholic kid yes yeah yeah yeah yeah class no i don't uh it's like one of them it was like a mega teen that was he was a magazine yeah he's a

magazine and he confronted oh like an indigenous i remember that yeah he was like smiling yeah he was smiling it's because he drank too much water from the big sandy watershed so oh wow so it is culturally relevant a lot of people said he was suffering from affluenza. That was the other kid that killed... Who was the kid that killed the person in a DUI thing? They all had it.

Even we have it because we're so rich. Yeah, it's true. The CDC didn't say anything which totally just speaks to... It tells you everything you need to know. It does tell you everything you need to know. Now it's weird because you can't really even make those jokes

because the CDC is really on some bullshit. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that for me, 2021, that was the biggest watershed. But, you know, there's probably other things to judge here as well. I mean, Tom, did you have anything, any categories of consideration for the year 2021?

Well, I was going to bring up Album of the Year, but the more I thought about it, it's still Mitski's Beat the Cowboy, three years running. In my mind uh what else on my list top 10 bone spurs of 2021 we could talk about that but I don't know you know who was let me ask you this who was the biggest bozo of the year who's who gets the dunce hat for the year like the biggest you know uh you mean excluding rajah

no i'm joking i'm joking no rajah you're one of those guys i know oh my god thank you so much you're the best you're the smart i would be nothing without you thank you it's important when you're at each other just to like to make sure to build it back up after you break them down yeah it's a comedy rule if you watch any of the comedy central roasts they never you got to stay till after the credits to see the build back. Seriously, Jeff Ross, I don't think you're gay.

Lito Empanelli, you are a saint. You are not a pedophile. You're awesome. But I do think the biggest bozo is Donald J. Trump for saying gofefe yeah definitely Donald John Trump again yeah definitely Terrence who's your pick for best for best bozo I don't know if it's

best bozo but just bozo the dang Cuomo brothers oh yeah that's a good one the dang cuomo brothers i guess probably who else would be on that list travis scott didn't have a great year yeah he's like satan or something yeah he's yeah he's it's not a good year if you become like satan no this is pretty fucked up yeah you're. This is pretty fucked up. Yeah, you're right. This is pretty fucked up because it's only men so far. You got to make it

a little more inclusive. I'm an ally. I don't think women can be bozos. No, I'm with Tom actually. Well, I think women are three-dimensional and many of them are some of the stupidest people on earth.

I'm not going to rob women of their autonomy an equal number of men are stupid too so how about that i like wait what about uh galene galene maxwell oh yeah bozo right i uh had a kind of a quiet year closed out strong yeah yeah he's a bozo for like if you're like one of the if you're like in that crew you shouldn't get found guilty ever like you must have fucked up really seriously yeah someone did even murder you that's crazy that's insane yeah yeah secrets suck yeah Yeah. Secrets suck. You have no secrets. Period. She has no trauma plot. That's right.

Her trauma plot was giving Jeffrey Epstein that nasty foot rub. Do you think she'll be alive to see the one year anniversary of the attack on our democracy? I wonder if she sees that and has any feeling about it. Does she tie into that story at all?

She's going to leave it here, I think. We caught up with newly incarcerated Ghislaine Maxwell to get her thoughts on the year anniversary of the January 6th season and the events at Astroworld. She should be a correspondent on all the news channels

and stuff. Absolutely. She just has normal opinions about it about it yeah it's pretty crazy i'm gonna start a room we got to find like a picture from astroworld where there's like it's not like offensive like there's nobody dead in there but there's like a you know a middle-aged woman about a six and a half and just say you know glenn maxwell was at astroworld that's like our new conspiracy yeah actually jay johnston was at astroworld you can't voice his character on bob's burgersers because he was at Astro World.

Well, I don't know. We're a little over an hour here. Here's a good note to wrap it up on. Let's do a classic resolutions. What are we resolving to in 2022?

I mean, I'm resolving to fight the war on democracy like an actual war. I've been slacking off this whole time. I've been, you know, MIA. I've been hiding in the latrines. I've been fragging my superiors and all those other military and subordinateordinate slang terms. So this year I'm not going to be insubordinate anymore and I'm going to, I'm going to enlist. So that's my resolution.

That's really honorable. Yeah. I respect you a lot more for that. Thank you. Thank you. It's about time you've been on the sidelines for too long. It's the opposite of dishonorable discharge. It's honorable charge. I'm honorably charged.

I have bone spurs, but I'm lying and saying I don't have them. Right. All of my disqualifying ailments, I'm going to pretend. So I can get in on the air. I like imagining a platoon of really fucked up people that really just fight and lied about all of their...

There's so many people like that in eastern kentucky that they were like uh like i grew up in like a small country church and the preacher be like yeah i got dropped into the sunshine capital of the world when i was only 14 and everybody's like sunshine okay yeah ho chi minh city and it's like these guys just like lied about being 18 so they it's like an 11 year old that's gonna start telling kids to do this go down to your nearest army recruiting station and falsify your age 10 year olds dropped into ho chi minh

oh shit parents went dark i'm still here i'm still here fellas just had to turn the camera off are you doing anything yeah what's going on nothing bad here okay just move on just continue talking it's gonna turn the camera back on there will be cocks and balls on those walls it's i'm it's jeffrey tube in time dog i. I have to jerk off to you guys real fast. That's cool. Get out of here. Here's a scoop for the pod. I heard a rumor. I can't reveal my source,

but I did hear a rumor that Wait, did Toobin happen this year? I think it was this year. Wow. How have we not discussed that? Wow. The rumor is that

when it was happening, someone on the Zoom immediately called David Remnick, the editor of The New Yorker. And Remnick called Toobin while he was jacking off and left him a voicemail to be like stop jacking off oh fuck i have to hear that if that ever got released that's like the

verner herzog like grizzly man audio like that's yeah we gotta get the unread gotta get our hands on it also here's the other detail that i remember is uh and i don't this is unconfirmed but the rumor is that he uh after after he was done jacking off he blew a kiss at the camera yeah just a little holy yeah he's just perfect jack it was it was a perfect jack off nobody's talking about that knowledge to the man who jerked this off no one talks about it but it he had amazing form and like he was doing a really good job yeah damn everyone nobody said anything because they were like in awe they were like yes right i mean it's just i mean just the audacity is kind of like impressive honestly yeah totally

well what i heard is that he was on like a separate zoo so they it was during a break in like whatever they were doing i think they were doing like a simulated election where like each person like represents a different wait so this must have been last year i think you're right. You're right. I think what happened... It was like fourth quarter 2020. It still qualifies.

But he was reinstated. Or did they let him go? Did they fire him or let him go? I think he was reinstated for CNN maybe or something. Yeah, that's right. Every network has different jack-off standards.

That's the thing. They have a different policy at MSNBC. MSNBC's rather draconian where CNN is a little more. CNN has a three jack-off rule. Right, right. Three strikes. CNN has a three jack off rule. Rajat and I have worked at like what two different for two different companies. And one of them, they're,

they're like sexual harassment trainings have like different rules. Yeah. And we noticed like the first one, they said you can ask a co-worker out three times like you can get rejected like twice the third time the third time you like like you can't like after that it's like it's sexual yeah that means they had a lot they had to have had a conversation where someone was like five times and they were like, no, two, like, all right, we'll compromise it. Three.

Yeah. And then I haven't even pulled out my best stuff. Yeah. We'll allow for, you know, you choke up on the first one yeah your performance wasn't really doing it yeah but then the other place you it's just like one and done yeah you can do it once and then on the second time you get reprimanded damn that's a little heavy-handed but i mean truly shooting your shot like the stakes are so high they could never that sequence of events is amazing like blue kiss at the camera

and then like checks his voicemail and it's like his boss you think he like looked out the window or something like after he got the voicemail he's like david remnick must be outside my window. How does he know? They also have a no-fap rule at New Yorker. So that was like the real sin. But the rumor I think also is that he was like having cyber sex so like he didn't realize that he was on a work like he thought that he closed out yeah and then he like cyber he cybered his

like like a cam girl yeah usually he masturbates like with his family i like i like i like the i like the calculus must have went something like this god i got that zoom call at two but i'm also that's all right i can just make sure my camera's turned off man oh man how many times is uh terrence allowed to jack off in front of you tom canceled from kicked out together for a number of years so it's i got a little longer leash with him than the others but yeah yeah right we are uh because he's straight and white or what? Yeah. I get six jack offs. Seven. It's really unfair.

Like in our group, like I'm allowed to jack off six times. Rajat's only allowed to jack off three. And we're like looking into the policy and we're going to like make some changes. What are we doing about equity and inclusion? Exactly. We talk about the age gap in dating.

We talk about the wage gap at the workplace, but we're not talking enough about the coming gap. The tubing rule. The tubing rule between two colleagues who mostly communicate over the computer. That's right. I don't know. Oh, boy. so that's right i don't know oh hell boys um well that i guess that probably even i really wanted tubing to be this year but you know you're right it counts we'll count tubing as up there

among the bozos i mean that's that's good that's a good set of people cuomo's uh tubing the guy with his hand legs on the desk travis scott tra Scott, Nancy Pelosi's DMT trip. AI generated Christopher Reeve and the girl who stuck her penny in the soccer. It's a strong list. You guys have single-handedly converted us into anti-coin girls. God damn, man. this AI take over.

That's scary shit now. Today, I'm like, eh. Yep, it's kind of her fault. If she just would have been using Bitcoin, you're right. It's not like, yeah, we shouldn't be that scared of AI. It's not like Alexa did a big elaborate. She just was like, stick a penny in there. And the girl was like, okay.

like a big elaborate but she just was like stick a penny in there and the girl was like okay like if you're like at all intelligent yeah you shouldn't don't you don't have to be scared it's like right right in the matrix like agent smith telling fucking neo to like stick his finger in Well, yeah. So you guys got anything you want to plug before we sign off? What are you boys doing these days? What are you into? What are we doing? Like nothing. Yeah.

Or what? I was going to say, check out Jeffrey Toobin on CNN. Yeah. One we are plugged in. Go and find as much footage of this year's Bozo as possible. Yeah.

You can follow us on Twitter. You can follow us on Twitter. Yeah. What if we plugged you guys? Listen to the Trill Village. Hell yeah. How nice is that? A lot of people

come on this program. They forget to plug us. Self-promoting opportunists. Yeah, Sturgill Simpson. He forgot to plug it. Yeah, Sturgill. I got a Christmas card from Sturgill Simpson. It's like my

new most prized possession. That's awesome. He's flexing. I'm on the Christmas card. Damn. All right. I didn't get one. I didn't get one.

In fairness, I'm friends with his wife. That's really why. It's just cooler to say I'm on the third of Simpsons Christmas card. His wife, Marge. Nothing to do with it. His wife, Marge Simpson. Tom.

I can't help it. That's great. I do a Marge Simpson impression too. Maybe a second one. I'm great. That was good. I do a Marge Simpson impression, too. Jeremy's second one. But I'm nervous now. I understand. Next year. You can do it next year.

Okay. All right. Thanks for listening this week, everybody. Go check us out. Go check them out. Go check out Sturgill Simpson. And we'll see you over on the Patreon if you'd like to go support us there. P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash Trailbilly Workers Party.

You can find us there. Till next year, guys. That's what everybody says at Christmas parties. We'll see you next year. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, we'll see you next year.

Thanks for listening peace out damn we're still recording it's a hidden track at the end of the episode oh shit remember those yeah this is like the bernie hot mic situation your mic's still hot