Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 237: Got Some Nice Dresses For You

Episode Date: February 17, 2022

We lick our wounds after being snubbed for an important award, talk about how Gayle Manchin is trying to whack Sleepy Joe, and make a brief-but-aborted attempt at understanding the coming "vibe shift" Patreon link: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

Well, like I was telling Tom a minute ago, the tomato is not native to the Italian peninsula. I don't think it was introduced to European or Southeast Asian cuisine until after the colonial conquest of the new world i believe it was brought over to those cultures and um and i was researching what cuisine was like before that before that epochal moment when the tomato dropped like damn dog um new fruit or new vegetable or whatever. Maybe they didn't debate it back then. New plant drop that people are going to have annoying debates about whether it's a fruit or vegetable drop. It's got seeds, but it comes on a vine, which is it? Yeah, and it's also, like, would you consider a tomato savory or sweet?

You know? Yeah, and it's also, like, would you consider a tomato savory or sweet, you know? Like, it's not really something, it's not like something sweet that I really think of, but do fruit have to be sweet? What's a cucumber? Is a cucumber a fruit? Oh, shit, I think so, yeah. I think it's in the same, like, family. Yeah, seeds.

I think it's in the, yeah, I think it's in the same family as watermelons. So you bet. How is that? Watermelon's delicious. Huh. You don't like cucumber? Cucumber just tastes like health. I love cucumber.

No. I love cucumber. You've got cucumber fucked up with that other little green motherfucker that I hate. Celery? Celery. Celery. I love zucchini. Celery is terrible.

That other green motherfucker. Cucumber's fine. I mean, it's not, but I don't know anybody that's like, oh, man, damn, cucumbers, my favorite fruit. It's fresh. It's like water. but a pickle though there's so much value added yeah there's so many things to do with a cucumber now you're getting to a whole different thing watermelon's kind of a dead end road except for the watermelon crawl which how's watermelon a dead end road you're the only person in the world thinks that okay sorry we We'll explain. I have heard watermelon is the best fruit by a country mile.

All right. I mean, I won't even argue with you on that. But I guess watermelon flavor. Tanya comes out as anti-watermelon. God. I would never. I do love watermelon. I just only ever eat it as itself you don't like you don't like getting your big slice put your little salt on it and going to town oh i love it well you know like um maybe you know like natural selection like environmental factors work to select out the

weaker genetic mutations or whatever like imagine if you it's why i'm enduring so much right now it's trying like a motherfucker to select you out yeah you're a survivor though, man. You're not going to go out that easily. You're a survivor. That's true, man. I ain't no bitch. But imagine if you were like one of the Italian dudes

in like the 15th, 16th century or whatever who like got, if you're like me, you know, got really bad heartburn from tomato based cuisine. Tomato paste, tomato sauce, tomato salad. It just gave you bad heartburn. So it's like a revolutionary moment in your country. A revolutionary moment in terms of cuisine anyways. And everybody's just fucking getting to enjoy pasta and pizza and all this shit with tomato. But you you don't get you know what I mean?

Like, so I don't know. Would you have died? Would you have not been able to live in that new world? I don't know. Would you have died? Would you have not been able to live in that new world? Would you have been selected out because you didn't get the strong esophageal or strong digestive

abilities, you know, capacities? I don't know. You know what I'm saying? I have a pretty strong gut, but I'm sure something else would have took me out. I don't think that's wrong. My guess is syphilis. My God. Get on.

Come on, Ruby. This is actually... Mother's being disrespected over here. That's a fun game. What ancient... What takes you out? What takes you out 600 years ago? The you.

I'm sure it would be my period because I have terrible terrible periods and without medication and modern attempts at survival i don't i think it would have just took me out see back then though they didn't really have like laws in the way that we do now like you could just get um like opium they probably had had some sort of poppy elixir that you'd get just fucking... Absolutely just strung out on. It would probably be fine.

All right, well then I could probably hack it. I'm thinking dysentery would have got you well before your period did. What's dysentery? What got you well before your period did what's dysentery what's that you know another the bubble guts on steroids like the i think it's still like the leading cause of death in most of the world right now yeah diarrhea kills a lot of people and we just we just like pop some pepto-Mizbo and don't think nothing else about it but mad shit in places where there's water scarcity is fucking brutal

I think much about it all the time you solidary their baby with stomach ailments worldwide. I'm with you, I'm currently battling a stomach bug myself and it's not, it ain't been cute. I'm gonna tell you that right now. Uh-huh. I feel like I'm coming out the other end of it though maybe. Well, all I was saying was, you know, there are unsung heroes in history, people that don't get their due.

They're passed over by the changing tides of political reality, economic reality, even, I don't know, food reality? What would you call that? Gourmand cuisine reality? What would you call that? Gourmand cuisine reality? Yeah. So you think they just get crystallized in this sort of time period, and then the flow of history moves on without them, and they just never recover? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, I'm saying we need to recognize those people today. Those people need a day, you know? Like, there's Arbor Day, Columbus Day, Labor Day. The guy that was fossilized jacking off when Mount Vesuvius erupted.

Yes, that guy. That guy is in the same category as the guy who had really bad heartburn when they introduced tomatoes in the Italian peninsula in the 16th century and he could not enjoy

a good time with his pals anymore. They all wanted to eat fucking pasta all the time. Hey, fucking Bruno, what's the matter? What's wrong over there? Anybody that's quit drinking for a period of time has kind of experienced that too, and that sort of anguish that comes with like, oh, well, no more nights out getting toasted with the boys anymore

because my constitution literally can't handle it. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, I feel that a little bit. I've gotten over that a little bit, but that was really tough when I first started cutting down on my drinking. That's the hardest part about it. Yeah, it was like...

Social? Yeah. Because, like, everyone treats you... Nobody's gonna find you cool anymore. Everyone treats you weird as fuck. And then you're like, nah, I'm still cool, man. Yeah, yeah. No, no, it's fine, man. Yeah, you, like, totally, man.

It's, like, totally fine. But do you wanna hear how I hit rock bottom? Oh. Totally, man. It's totally fine. But do you want to hear how I hit rock bottom? Yeah, they treat you like you've just been diagnosed with leukemia. Hey, man, is there any way I can make this less awkward for you? And then your worst friend is just like, go on party without you. Yeah. That's a bummer. party without you but yeah that's a bummer i mean the all of which is to say a big topic of discourse today is the vibe shift the impending shift in vibes and i'm just saying like some people get

left behind and we got to honor those people and you And you might have been the guy who couldn't eat tomatoes or eggplant or brassicas in Italy back in the day. And you might be a guy now who lives in rural eastern Kentucky and he can't keep up with the changing times. It's something nobody's talked about in the whole Appalachian just transition equation is maybe a vibe switch just left us all behind.

Well, I mean, it further goes to my belief that we are true neutral. Like, we'll always be cool because we're so far removed as long as we still live here. The second I fucking move to actually, like, a city'm i'm lame as fuck man i'm not you're subject to the vibe check exactly or to the vibe switch exactly that is true man you're kind of being in eastern kentucky you are at once like out of style and forever in style exactly you know what i mean yeah tell me more well it's just like

things move at such a glacial pace and our misery is perpetual so it's like you're constantly uh you know not far removed from conversations about the human condition, but also, like, you're not bound to the same sort of style and cultural cycles as everybody else, you know? Even political cycles. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah. In some ways, we are fossils, dinosaurs, literally. I mean, even the way we talk is from a different age, you know?

Dinosaurs. Uh-huh. talk is from a different age you know dinosaurs i mean i got like like my nephew talks like he's from indianapolis or something i was like that just happened in like two generations so i don't know the vibe check man or the vibe switch i don't know i keep saying vibe check that's that's a crypto talk very uncool but i think that's part of it i mean you have like a vibe audit that people like run on you you know yeah yeah just to check in some ways for sure yeah yeah tanya what's your what's so okay carry on me i'll hold i'll hold my questions till we get further a while i don't have an agenda i just um feel like perhaps maybe the times have passed us by because i hate to be the bearer of bad news guys, but I just received the news this week. We were

passed over for an Appy Award. I know this is really hard. This is really hard for you to accept. What's an Appy? What's an Appy Award? Tanya, it's just the most prestigious award

that an Appalachian media maker can receive. Yes. Damn. We got snubbed. We got snubbed. It's the Oscars or the Grammys or the Emmys or whatever for Appalachian media. We got snubbed.

That's bullshit, man. I mean... What was our category? I'd love to hear. We weren't even in the runnings. They didn't even nominate us. Who was in the running? I don't know.

For what? What would our category be? Michael Keaton's return in Dope our category be? Michael Keaton's turning dope sick. Was that Michael Keaton? I didn't watch it. I thought for some reason I have a memory of Michael Keaton being in there. Yeah, he's in it. Yeah, he's the doctor.

Best country. Morton Mason from Kentucky. Wait. Haley Newman from Kentucky. No, they really do have, like, best country music. Best gospel. We should have been in this one, best gospel. Sunday service got ripped for best gospel.

Oh. Best jazz. Best jazz. Who's fucking making jazz? Who are, like, the jazz hip cats in, like, you know, fucking Corbin or Charleston, West Virginia, you know? That's like a niche we could corner. We could just start dressing like beatniks and, like, saying daddy-o and stuff like that. Just being into jazz, like, real into jazz.

Grow that mustache that's just like a soul patch. Are you looking for a new thing, Tom? You feel like you need a new thing? Yeah, I need to reinvent myself. I'm in no wise pleased with what I've become. You just wake up and look in the mirror

so disappointed I had promise at various points and just never quite got over the hump well this is all coming off an apocalyptic eve for us no one's doing great right now what's the apocalyptic eve what happened I don't even want to mention it No one's doing great right now. What's the apocalyptic Eve? What happened?

I don't even want to mention it. I don't even want to talk about it. What happened? Okay. You can't dangle the carrot from her face. Are you okay, buddy? What's going on over there? Goddamn.

No, no. It's just the ball game. Oh, I thought you said the apocalyptic Eve. I thought you said something bad. Bad moon was on the horizon. Oh, no, sorry. It was last night, so Eve would be the night before. Oh, that was an aberration, Tanya.

This team can't do nothing without Ty Ty Washington. As he goes, so goes the team. If he's healthy, we're going to win the championship. If he's not healthy, we'll lose. That's it. Well, and Oscar. They had to bench Oscar. He's fine.

Big O's fine. I know he's not hurt, but can you believe a fight broke out in about fucking five minutes time? Yeah, the UK strength coach almost fought the whole Tennessee team. That's just absolute redneck Olympics. I almost want to watch it again, but it's so sad and painful. Oh, man. I'm sorry. Mom couldn't stay up that late and she asked me what happened.

She said, what the hell happened? What happened? I couldn't hardly explain it. I was like, God, Mom. Well, I told her Ty-Ty went out. That was big, but I was like, I don't know. Wasn't good. Damn it, motherfucker. They don't know. Wasn't good. Damn it, motherfucker.

They don't just list the actual nominees. I still want to know what category we would be. Like greatest nihilist. Cult. Best looking. Sexiest. Most heartburn. Most aggregate stomach acid. most nagging body ailments

most prostate problems if they have a woman on the show and they still take that category in the wall i don't know they're announcing them I should have just watched this before And I was watching it but I got bored and turned it off But there's like Oh it's like a feed This is live somewhere

It's like an award announcement Where are they at Prestonsburg I think This is coming out of the mountain arts center I was about to. This is coming out of the Mountain Arts Center. I was about to say, this is coming out of the Mountain Arts Center. Yes, it is. It's the second annual Appy Awards. Then we've been snubbed twice in a row then.

It's the second time, but first time we didn't even know. You know what? It hurts double. I feel like the Appalachian community at large has not accepted us. You know, I think that's fucked up, honestly, because they talk so much about acceptance and... Inclusivity. Inclusivity.

And they won't accept people with bad GI tracts. Surely that is the reason No better than Rocco And the boys in 16th century Italy Best hip hop Leaving us in the dust Wait wait Best hip hop Bryson Tiller

I mean dude has Bryson Tiller put out a song In like six years Like come on And he's from Louisville Why am I reading the whole statewide that is that is yeah that's a little bit of a reach there they're just calling all of kentucky appalachian i think love that best worship album just kidding no but really they really did have like a curse chapman did have like a best worship.

That's weird. Best worship session. Best original movie. The Red Wine and Blue Fugates. Wow. Gosh. Okay, we made it. We made it. Retraction. Last year, we we made it. We made it.

Retraction. Last year, we actually made it, too. Last year, Teddy Roosevelt, The True Hollywood Story, The Behind the Scenes, biopic. Teddy Roosevelt biopic won last year.

I'd just like to thank the Academy and everybody that believed in me. I'd like to thank the Academy of Appalachian Studies Association. You know, I've never won a damn award in my life. I don't know if I have either. Well, that's not true. I won the Geography B in 6th grade.

Yeah, you and it hung over our water cooler in our house for two years. I'd lick that smug bastard's accolades every time I want a crisp, refreshing beverage. I still have that. Coronado Elementary spelling bee champion. I still have it. Y'all didn't win any sports trophies?

Mm-mm. No, as much tennis as I played won i've never won a tennis tournament i won a few swim meets i had some medals i don't know what happened to them they're cheap as fuck i guess i did win the county geography b in elementary academics but that they just gave me a ribbon for that and then moved me on to the bigger tournament where I got washed. I won most improved player one time. And that's essentially Miss Congeniality. Like most photogenic or something.

Most improved player. The thing you give to the... It's like worst improved player Literally means by definition Worst player It means you scored Most Was it worst?

I was most They had like best Go ahead But I did win I did get like most RBIs In a tournament one time And they had a trophy for it Damn

Bad bitch You got a regular slugger I wish I had some trophies Surely there's a Best podcast category Because I just saw that they had Best vlogger. Vlogger.

Oh, God. Who is it? I want to look them up. I don't know. They've already moved on to best male vocalist. Tom Sexton. Well, that settles it. That settles a week's long debate here on the program.

Frank Sinatra never won a nappy. It's true. Best wind and instrumentation. Best woodwind? Best woodwind, right. I think that's what they meant. Best oboe player in the mountains. Best blowjob in all of Appalachia.

Hard to quantify. Best tattoo artist. Man, what the fuck? I mean, really, why? Really, why can't we be included in this? Okay, hold on. Were there... Are they announcing winners? Are they announcing nominees? can't we be included in this? Okay, hold on. Were there... Are they announcing winners or are they announcing nominees?

These are nominees. So it's multiple per category? It is, yeah. We didn't even get nominated? By definition, it would have to be. Is there a category for crankiest podcast? We didn't get nominated for that? They had to make a new category

just to appease us. It's like the most, the best podcast ran by three bitter assholes. Right. Least informed. Most aggravated. Well, if I see bed pot

best podcaster, I'll let you guys know i'm gonna have to watch this entire thing so you guys just talk for the next 20 minutes and i'll i'll get back to you yeah i need to know who's nominated at least best kentucky dance what is this best dance educator okay come on we're getting a little niche here my god that's a little in the woods best dance educator not even best dancer is that like people who own studios like dance mom style or is this public school that's somebody's wife's getting that they made that category for somebody's Are there any like For like Artists You know what I mean

Like is Doug Adams in the running for anything Well they had best They had best painter So it's like they probably They probably categorize it all out Like best sculptor Best quilter You know They probably categorize it all out. Like best sculptor, best quilter, you know.

Best music educator. That's such a funny way to put that. Best painter. Because it could be house painter. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Richard McIntosh better be in the running there. McIntosh painting. No, no, no.

My Uncle Michael J has his own Sizemore's paint and wallpaper. I'm nominating Michael J. Sizemore. That's a little nepotism. Best hedge fund manager. When he got hired on to paint a bunch, redo, repaint

like a dozen local Walmarts. Big job he landed. But he had to do it at night through the night shift when there wasn't as many people in the store. He hired mom to come be the spot for the truck lift and she fell asleep on the job. So maybe they won't be nominated. Is there a category for, a category best writer yeah best novelist best short story writer best poet yeah they named them and i didn't know any

of them i don't think i don't know i wasn't really paying attention this is fucked up this is the elephant the elephant in the room is us they did not say but no i really don't care but it is funny though like that you would have a like a media product with like i don't know at this point we probably have like 35 000 listeners or so i mean about almost a quarter of a million listeners a month. Yeah. Like if you're talking back catalog people and everything. A quarter of a million a month?

You mean listens? Is that what you're talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you gotta go with the big numbers, Terrence. Best drummer, percussionist. What the fuck? Who got nominated above me?

The guy from Sunday Best who beats on the box. I think he got it. The cajon player from Sunday Best got in over you? No. No. Wait, Terrence, I thought this was a good bit. You really are concerned that we've been snubbed from the Appies?

No, but I'm saying you have to go out of your way to do it, is all I'm saying, and that to me is really fucking funny. Out of your way to do what? To pass us over. I mean, it's like, if you had this broad geographical region and you're, like, just doing it on metrics, you're, like, looking at who is, like, quote-unquote most successful and has, like, a greater platform and reach.

Like, no one even comes close to us. I mean, I'm not trying to wax my own car. I guess you could argue that the, what is it, my brother, my brother and me. Yeah. Yeah, I was going to us. I mean, I'm not trying to wax my own car. Really? I guess you could argue that the, what is it, my brother, my brother, me. Yeah. Yeah, I was gonna say, there's that Huntington crew. They got way more. And hell, right here in Letcher County, there's YouTube stars with

hundreds of thousands of views on all the shit they do. Fucking Hillbilly and Wife. Well, fine then. I guess we're just average and nobody i guess everyone is just eclipsing us if and also if the hillbilly and the wife has hundreds of thousands of listeners i'll kiss your ass get on youtube right now look them up last video i watched of them was she had wife had went and took a nap and he was left babysitting his own kid as hillbillies do

and he put the kid in the walker the kid was just walking around in the walker and he got uh chocolate pudding and rubbed chocolate pudding all over the baby coming out of the diaper and shit and when she got up she he acted like he was asleep on the couch and she's lost it thinking the baby had pulled a bunch of shit out of its diaper and was eating it. Okay. They have some but they've been up for like years.

I know that guy. Who am I talking to? What am I looking up? What's it called? Hillbilly and Wife. Hillbilly and Wife. Yeah, and now that you count tiktok now with tiktok i mean ever stuttering teenager couldn't nah they fucking nah we still we still got them we still got them all the tiktoks we're dying what is the dying platform Everybody's just watching TikTok And them damn things move so fast

No wonder they get millions of views immediately I mean I just don't even know how that works You know the wife on the hillbilly And the wife is Brian Littrell From the Backstreet Boys cousin Huh Yeah Megan I went to high school with her A girl claimed that that i went to

camper wallace with and summer camp when i'm growing up and she about got her ass whooped for line are they gonna are they gonna become like a reality show okay billy and wife yeah Okay. Bill, Billy, and Wife? Yeah. They already are. They already are on YouTube. You know, it's... What the fuck? Fart-sprayed dinosaur prank. Interesting. This is just riveting content, isn't it? Anyways...

Our evaluation of the appies yeah it's just i just want to hear if there's a podcast category and who's nominated i can't i didn't see one i mean maybe they had to do away with the whole category because they knew they couldn't have the category snub us yeah they couldn't snub us without it being obvious. Are Hillbilly and Wife nominated as vloggers? Probably. I mean, I did see something like that in there. Like, they had vlogger,

and then it said something about Hillbilly. That's probably what it was. Peace and blessings to the Hillbilly and the Wife. I mean, I just think we have too much come talk to be taken seriously, which I appreciate. That's why I keep bringing it up. I don't talk about it. We're too sex positive.

That's true, yeah. If we were more sex negative, like sex is bad. Yeah. Everybody should not have. We gotta be more repressive i guess that's the secret um it's weird this coincided with this op-ed from gail mansion about what arc is doing right now is there some sort of like what's going on why are they suddenly doing another round of the future is bright and awesome something going on that again well you remember

like biden was trying to uh ingratiate himself to the mansion so that joe mansion would vote for the built back better thing oh so he gave gail mansion the appointment as arc director and then and joe still didn't go with him on that can he have her removed that is kind of a hilarious dude fuck you to the to the president of the united states it's like eat shit bro that's an incredible purchase like that's an incredible like compromise for like a favor like you do this for me i'll make your wife head of the arc i'll put your wife in charge of a billion dollars right that is kind of that is kind of a really funny thing it's like of all the ways you could proposition a man about his wife, that's like, doesn't really hit the board.

He had to fuck her and appoint her, both. That was the deal. This is sad. Fucked. What's Gail have to say about our bright future? what's gail have to say about our bright future i i read it and it's there's nothing in it it's not even beyond parody yeah it's just it's your classic shit it's why like you can listen to an episode of this show from like now and listen to it in like 2017 and nothing is really different.

Except maybe we sound a little more mature. But the content is all basically the same. Oh, and we all went through puberty in the last four years. Well, I... Drop the bass. I've had more acid reflux on the esophagus, which, you know, that'll change your voice over time, right? It's like smoking.

You're going to sound like Tom Waits before the run of the show, though. Mm-hmm. My favorite part of this was some of this was self-inflicted. Some of what? So the whole thing is like, Appalachia can no longer be an island. So she's like, talk about all of the hard scrabble stuff,

exploitation, blah, blah, blah. Then she goes, but some of this was self-inflicted. Appalachia's remoteness made many parents wary of what lay beyond. Oh, good lord. Then she gets into the brain drain stuff. It's like... Oh, good Lord. Then she gets into the brain drain stuff. It's like... Oh, man.

Has there been... I hate to... To quote the late, great Wile E. Coyote, I love... Or what is it? His original sin number. Didn't we talk about this recently none of us can figure out what his original sin poem is no yes i can i guarantee i can come up with it i thought we did the last i know the punch line but i can't add the first step the punch line is i just can't

think of anything else he said i believe in original sin i believe in original sin i just can't think of anything new. This is this bit. This is all these fucking people. They are just popping out, cranking out the same old number over and over again, dusting off the old records, which, you know, I love a vintage spin. Go ahead. Go off, Grace.

Grace. Dale. Grace. grace grace fail um it is an interesting premise though um no community is an island cut off from the rest of america president jfk spoke these words about the necessity for an appalachian highway system during a 1960 campaign stop in charleston West Virginia. While many gains have been made and they need to be acknowledged, President Biden could go today to Cumberland, Maryland

or Boone, North Carolina or Middlesbrough, Kentucky or Pistol City. Go to Middlesbrough, we got a Cracker Barrel. He'd go to Pistol City and see Wayne Hall's dick, famous for the long trip. He used to throw that thing out the side of a pair of coveralls

and piss going down the road. Go to Millsboro and see Lee Major's dick. Does Lee Major live in Middlesboro? Yep. I always heard he lived in that mansion on the right. I know he's dead now, but he lived on that mansion on the right when you come into Fayette County. May have moved up there. there who knows but we claim him

um could have but president biden could today go to any of these or any number of large and small towns well the point i want to make is gail saying like biden needs to go to these towns and announce no community is an island. As you pointed out on the episode last week, Biden literally went to the tornado, the town that had been leveled by a tornado, and not only did nothing, promised them something

and then denied all of their applications. This motherfucker laced up sneakers and ironed his slacks to walk through Mayfield, Kentucky to blow smoke up the ass of tornado survivors. Right. The fuck in all that? I mean. So I don't think, Gail, I don't think that Biden coming to Boone, North Carolina or Pistol City, Kentucky, as much as i would like to see that

i don't think it's gonna do much it might actually be bad keeping the hopper gail keeping the hoppers keep keep trying to figure it out that ain't gonna do it could you imagine a scenario where the reverend glenn gross over at pistol city first whatever, walks Joe Brandon through Pistol City and just gives him the history. That's a funny... I think Gail's trying to get Biden whacked. Like, yeah, you know, go on down to Hazard, Kentucky, Joe. We got some nice dresses for you.

Right around the corner there. No, keep going. Okay, then I'm in full support, Gail. I really can't. He would get whacked down here probably. She does give us a shout out.

She gives us a shout out in this op-ed. We have pockets of artists, innovators, and entrepreneurs creating micro-ventures on digital platforms. That's right. That's our category, micro-venture. She says Appalachia needs more of these kinds of newly hatched businesses, some of which eventually surge into big firms.

Like us, the line keeps going up, except for when it doesn't. the line keeps going up except for when it doesn't no i this is haunting me this this motherfucker 80 so what's they they filled 14 of requests so that means 86 is that right my math bad 86 of people got a letter that said fuck you uh-huh to an address they no longer have uh-huh just like just just how how much of a parody american life has become the the mailman comes to the house that's been destroyed and just puts the denial letter of their FEMA benefits where the mailbox would be, and it just drops on the ground.

Just drops it on the ground. Yeah. I just left it out there where your mailbox was before a historical 35,000-foot-tall, mile-wide tornado took it out. Uh-huh. I like it. I like this paragraph um we also know a young man

who graduated from an appalachian community college with an associate degree in welding good job man it's just like one motherfucker with a associate's degree in welding america needs welders and those who understand and have been trained in the building crafts. He has become a line manager at a local plant building critical airplane parts. It's like that meme from Liar Liar where Jim Carrey's looking around. What fucking airplane plant? There's no airplane plant. We're fucking around here. I even know of one guy that graduated from welding school.

Man. If I had a nickel for every time I grew up with some guy that said he was going to go get his welding license and all that stuff. Come on. I haven't said all that for a minute. Which, nothing wrong with welders. You know?

No, I mean, it's tight. I think it's actually cool. I just think it's funny that, like... Have welders in particular't you know no it's i mean it's tight i think it's actually cool i just think it's funny that like have have welders in particular ever had trouble getting gigs right like they act back like not it's like a it's like plumbing like it's like it's like a job like plumbing like they're in high demand but um damn man we know a young man this is like just one motherfucker with a welder this is pretty funny

i don't think you finished that paragraph tom because it says appalachia lags the rest of the nation in micro venture creation but this rate of entrepreneurship should improve as America delivers on its commitment to universally connecting all communities to the broadband superhighway. I like that there's like she basically pointed out a micro-venture gap.

We lag the rest of the nation in micro-ventures. Guys. And we are a micro-venture? I don't think you read the rest of that paragraph terrence it says you have the true abilities who rank number 61 in the world on patreon uh podcast but as for the rest of these ignorant cold smudge reprobates they haven't quite been able to bridge the digital divide wait you're right i'm interesting. I wouldn't necessarily agree with that.

Wait, we're ranked 60? 61, I think. In podcast overall? Yeah, for Patreon. I don't know. Really? Yeah. Based on what? Not for projects, period.

Based on big dick size. Based on the size of our dicks. I'll give you that because I got a lot. We'll string them all together. Tanya bumps our average up. Lay all my dicks out in a line. My God.

I just want to thank Gail for that nod. She didn't have to write that, but, you know, I got to give her props for putting her neck out, sticking her neck out for us. No, that wasn't easy. Oh. A new energy consulting firm.

Whether someone's creating a new energy consulting firm in West Virginia, an arts and crafts digital platform in Pennsylvania, or a specialty foods business in Kentucky, search firms create more flexible, nimble, and resilient economies that also create stickiness for talent who want to stay and thrive in Appalachia. That is one of the worst sentences. Dude, that's up there. I mean, I've read some bad sentences in my day of like trawling through you know grant applications and all this but that's that's a banger like gail like reached back you know up the up this you know

sleeve of tricks and pulled out like an all-time like a bohemian rhapsody type solo let me read that again i just want to read that again for you guys whether someone is creating a new energy consulting firm in west virginia an arts and crafts digital platform in pennsylvania or a specialty foods business in kentucky such firms create more flexible nimble and resilient economies and this is where I think it gets special, or unique, that also create stickiness for talent who want to stay and thrive in Appalachia. They have like a visual... Stickiness for talent. They almost have like a sort

of visual, you know what I'm saying? Like, to them, if you can visualize the economy, it would need to be nimble and resilient, but sticky. Things need to stick to it. You know? I wish i could just like problem solve with abs like abstractions like that it's weird right like they see the world as a kind of like matrix of um i don't even know it's like i guess like a running stream of sort of numbers and equations and stuff.

So if you create like resilience and flexibility in the economy, like people can sort of fall into those grooves in the matrix of reality in Appalachia and then they get stuck there and their talent is allowed to grow like a seed. You can never leave, but you'll have a steady income now when you get sticky.

Stickiness, huh? Weird. We could be nominated for stickiest podcast. Yeah, no, definitely. All the come. We're pretty sticky. I mean, I myself am pretty sticky. Yeah.

Yeah. Man. I just want to narrow in our perfect category. Man, a strategic plan. This is ARC's 2000. i think this is what it is i think what the purpose of this article is they're announcing arc's 2022 to 2026 strategic plan throughout 2021 arc hosted community conversations focus groups and a public survey to gather input and affirm an investment framework to meet appalachia's economic needs. Approximately

2,000 participants shared insights on the strengths, challenges, and opportunities facing communities, along with ideas to advance economic prosperity. Man, why the fuck didn't I get to go to any of these? You would think the number 63 ranked

podcast on Patreon would get a little say in this agenda. The biggest micro-venture. This side of I-75. Biggest micro-venture. Biggest micro-venture. That is an oxymoron. The biggest micro. The biggest micro. micro venture. That is like that is an oxymoron. The biggest micro.

The biggest micro south of 75 or east of 75 and south of 64. Check this out. ARC roles. To successfully implement its strategic mission, ARC

commits itself to the following roles. And then it's got all these like, I don't know, it sounds like Scientology. You can be a catalyst, you can be an investor, a capacity builder, an advocate,

a convener, What? a researcher, an evaluator, an equity driver, a coach, and a navigator. You could be,

dog, I want to be... A navigator. I want to drive a pink Jeep Wrangler for my work. So maybe I could sign up as navigator. Yeah.

ARSC assists the region with navigating the complex federal funding landscape to strategically assess and leverage funding to support key projects. Okay, I'm triggered.

I can't fucking read any more of this. It was funny at first. None of that means anything. Their whole strategic plan is made of all these subgroups that don't mean anything yeah this is all up this is the same energy as when little towns spend like their entire budget like manchester kentucky spent like a million dollars or something, every bit they had on a consultant, on a consulting firm to tell them how to bring business and tourism and whatever, how to save their town.

You know what they did? I can take a couple of guesses. Let's guess. Give us two guesses. Okay. Terrence, you go first. Well, I mean, I think surely it was a feasibility study, right? That's a good guess.

No. They may have done that, but. Okay, I got mine is. The ultimate output. What was the ultimate output of this hot meal they dropped? I'm going to say industrial park. Not even that. Not even that much.

Damn. That would have been a step up. All they got was a new city slogan called City of Hope. They spent a million dollars on consulting people to go with City of Hope. I don't actually know the number, but it was a lot of money. And they just got a City of Hope. And then they paid more money to put it on a sign beneath Manchester. City of Hope.

Oh, man. That's good. I don't even know what to do with that. It's a lot. I mean, how much money has been spent on feasibility of the fucking Boone Hotel? You know, I'm told. Terrence wrote about that. Yeah.

I know, I'm asking an expert. I want to know. Several mil. One of the greatest days of our lives is people. Terrence. The day the day Terrence is published to mention in that shithole. There's people in there with brooms. Like, oh, shit.

You could argue Terrence put people back to work. I guess I put people back to work. You're right. People were like, oh, oh. And we wonder why he's got such an ego. He created four sweeping jobs. I pointed that out, to be fair, at the time. Oh, fuck.

I know. But bears repeating. You're your job creator terrence i know i know i know i'm saying like that that's the kind of shit that will break your brain and will make you think like you're the protagonist of reality did that come up at the super bowl party well you know for anybody that's like you know has suggestions about what to do with ill-gotten gain and what whatsoever what y'all don't understand is that if if the three of us really wanted to we could be obscenely wealthy if we just wanted to just grift on the Appalachia it's bright future shit wait is that true I feel like I'm trying. No, I mean like...

I want a trailer on the lake and I would do about anything to get it, Tom. Tell me what to do. No, I mean like there's dastardly stuff you could pull. I'll tell you what to do. You could be a catalyst for ARC. You could seek to catalyze...

Been there, done that. Put me in the fucking poorhouse. Seek to catalyze innovation in the region by cultivating and supporting new and burgeoning ideas for projects and activities in local communities i don't say this lightly i don't know if i've actually ever articulated this before but i genuinely hope the conservatives are actually successful at defunding this fucking worthless relic of a government

agency. It really does nothing. I mean, it really does nothing. Remember, like, back in the year of our Lord, probably, I'll give it, what, 2013? 2012? We spent a bunch of fucking time digging up all this all these records about how roger's spending and how he's moved money around remember i mean we created

there's a big i remember the visual was a big spider web of fucking. He's, you know, his scams. He had sent ARC money to his daughter to study tigers in Africa. Oh, boy. I mean, that's just the funnest one. That's. Damn. Oh, God. Big pork daddy.

I don't, yeah, I can't read this anymore. I feel really ashamed and embarrassed for having spent the last 50 or so minutes on it. Sorry, everybody, don't hold it against me. That's, you know. We were talking about the appies what you mean i know oh man i feel i feel bad i feel like i did something like i feel like i smoked like six or seven cigarettes you know what i mean like you know for me personally i don't smoke anymore really but every now and then I'll be like,

yeah, I want to smoke. It's all by a pack and I'll smoke like three or four cigarettes in a night. And I'll be like, what the fuck? What did I just do that? Like, that's how I feel right now.

Having just read that, I just like, Oh fuck dude. Like now my anxiety is bad. Like I'm going to be coughing and shit. You got a head rush. I exposed people to this. You got a head rush. Your chest is hurting. You got caught in mouth. I got exposed people to this. You got a head rush.

Your chest is hurting. You got cotton mouth. I exposed people to it. Yes, exactly. I got a headache now. I'm sorry. Yeah, I pull that with black and milds. I'm sorry, everybody.

Rough stuff. Do you want to read about the vibe shift that's coming? Tom, did you want to read about this? Honestly, I kind of found it a compelling article and i was kind of interested in what tanya's opinions on it would be oh i love it when i come here and you say we're interested in what you have to say tanya well let's vibe really or no all right well i what i took out of this is that like okay there's gonna be another 30 year old guy that's gonna tell me what is cool and what's not and then the other thing i took is that like it's another 30 year old guy much like myself that's mad that he didn't get rich in his like window uh-huh.

I don't know if there's anything worse than a guy that founded a collective called K-Hole that went on to advise corporations about what was cool and what was not. Getting to be the arbiter of what's, you know, culture. I mean, that's basically it. That is literally it. It's about this guy, Sean Monaghan, who was able to distinguish, or I don't know,

parse out three discernible vibe shifts over the last 20 years. The first was hipster indie music circa 2003 to 2009 or peak arcade fire block party high wasted cheap Mondays Williamsburg bespoke cocktail bars. The second was post internet techno revival circa 2010 to 2016 or the blood orange era norm core dressing like the matrix kill folk, the club, not kill folk, the magazine.

A lot of this is probably New York references, which again makes us the arbiter. I mean, it's unironically of what is cool. We are true neutral. Yeah. And the third is hype beast woke circa 2016 to 2020,

or Drake at his Drake-est, the Nike sneakers app, sneaker flipping, virtue signaling Donald Trump protests, not brunch. I think his epochs bleed over into each other a little bit and i think he's a little bit but okay i'll grant you that that's a pretty fair assessment of the different eras uh-huh well um apparently we might be entering a new one it's kind of been delayed by the what pandemic you know um like the different

variants yeah the writer says this vibe shift idea landed right as i was trying to figure out what hot girl summer or hot vac summer or the whoring 20s or however you choose to label the expected triumphant return was supposed to be and who I was supposed to be in it. I was in the middle of attempting to relearn which clothes I wore, how I pursued sex, what drugs I took, and with whom, what music I danced to and where. I could accept that some of my old bars had closed and that a bunch of people I knew had babies, but I also felt that time had stopped in some ways. It was reassuring to think the pandemic had hit pause on life, or at least put things into slow-mo. That while some of us

were inside or in the world, but social distancing, or just keeping to ourselves as best we could, culture wasn't really moving forward. In therapy, I talked about how for the first time in years I didn't feel acute FOMO that's crazy just people are talking about FOMO in therapy that's their biggest issue I mean I can understand that but like societally

that's not something that really weighs upon me if you experience FOMO at the community level you know what I mean it's you're all locked in your houses you know because as we were in like 2020 yeah that's I think that's legitimate as a bigger right that's like a bigger I would call that FOMO. Actually, what she's describing, the very specific sensation of FOMO she's describing is quite literally living in eastern Kentucky. You are literally in a constant state of missing out in eastern Kentucky.

So just to live here would be the general thing that she's basically opening up to her therapist about. I think it's real, though. I do, because I'm like, oh my God, I could be living in Los Angeles. I could be living in New York. I could be doing this. Instead, I make the conscious choice not to.

But also, there's things that I find irredeemably corny about all those places. Uh-huh. You know what i mean one a lot of my to the degree that there's any culture you know i don't like to be like a gatekeeper of culture but like you know a lot of places steal from places like where i'm from and like repackage it as something some new idea or vibe shift you know but then the other thing is too is like one thing that sucks about america is that there's no sort of local life anymore like there's no such thing as local politics there's no such thing as local journalism and like even shit like oh like i was watching something the other day it was like like all these like atlanta rappers but they all live in Los Angeles now.

And it's like, you know, America was a lot better when every city from like coast to coast and in between had like its own sort of standard bearers and all that kind of stuff. And I don't know. I just hate the idea that like everybody just flocks to one or two cities now and that neither the twain shall meet. I guess there's a distinction because culture is everywhere. Culture is a very universal term. A lot of different things can be culture so like every city does have a distinct culture based on this sort of distinct like political economic arrangement that's in it but i think what they're talking about here and i think what you're talking about too is the culture that is like mass culture the culture that's produced in recording studios and film production warehouses and you know what i'm

saying like that yeah i think that's what they're talking about right yeah i think so yeah i think what they're talking about is uh a vibe you know like what what people are wearing what people listen to what people are reading all this kind of thing and how do you sort of like take that in aggregate and like make it like a sort of a defining era or you know or whatever you want to call it yeah it's it's what i was getting out with the fomo that i think is valid is like i think it's like what really generates a lot of fomo is sort of a dissolution of culture and i think that has to do directly with like the dissolution of local life is what i was getting at like you saw this during the superbowl how like the superbowl

matchup was cast as like sort of like you know the city of angels and this great like entertainment hub versus these hillbillies from cincinnati and their hillbilly quarterback you know what i mean right and i just hate that shit it's like even sports sports fucking suck because like everybody just wants to go play for the big market teams like when we were young it was like even the small market teams had their superstars and stuff and now it's just like they get sort of the you know what falls off the table so it's like when the milwaukee bucks won the title i was like okay that's good that signals something better for you know the more lebron james loses as an la laker for, you know, the more LeBron James loses as an L.A. Laker, the better, you know. Whatever happened to Big Fish Small Pond?

I mean, it's just like, what I'm saying is like, there's culture everywhere. You know, it's like Terrence said. It's like, you don't have to like, I would even argue more so, you know. Yeah. it's like you don't have to like i would even argue more so you know yeah well right it's like i don't want to sound like our old pal jeff marietta who like i think was like literally quoted as saying like there's no culture anywhere except appalachia like basically he's like you know the culture here is real and it's authentic. You go to Paris or Dubai, there's no culture there. I don't want to sound like... Okay, pal.

Paris, famously devoid of culture. Yeah. Jesus Christ, this motherfucker. I'm sure all cities are shells of the reformer self. Even if you want to talk Los Angeles, Los Angeles coasts a lot on the romantic 60s Hollywood era. You know what I mean? The new Hollywood era.

Basically everything that Quentin Tarantino is nostalgic about and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood before Manson sort of killed the 60s and all that kind of stuff. But a lot of places float on that eastern kentucky floats on that it's like no nobody really plays the banjo anymore but like that's when you hear about eastern kentucky you hear about all these great preservationists and like they're keeping this culture alive and all this stuff and it's like i know like two, three banjo players and two of them are Kevin Howard. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, I'm, yeah, it's weird.

Well, I mean, I don't know. Back to this article, it said, let's see, didn't feel a cute FOMO. It was nice that everyone was sort of stagnant watching the same trash on Netflix. Sure, some people were going out secretly, but we didn't really know what those people were up to. And we didn't have reason to believe they were advancing any sort of scene. Turns out two years might have swooshed into a black hole, but I was cocky to think something wouldn't fill the void. Those were still real years. People's opinions were changing. Things were happening.

It was just that, you know, culture and pop culture were not really putting out bangers during most of the pandemics as monaghan um i don't know but i think what is being described here is a kind of like general anxiety and apprehension that the playing field has been leveled in a in a way um yeah because yeah i mean it is true it felt like in 2020 that a lot of cultural production kind of ground to a whole like movies for example they couldn't make as many but like that's kicking back up again um and music too you had a lot of like artists like going back and digging through their archives and you know what i mean just like putting out old shit just because they were like stuck at home and everything um but i think like what they're actually referring to me the dates line up with presidential uh

administrations in this article anyways he's literally describing bush obama trump years you know yeah like it's yeah but it's funny because he they also take the the stance that like going forward people are going to be less concerned politically because they got so, basically, essentially, they got so burnt out during the woke streetwear era. Oh, yeah. Yeah, which is like, I hope that's not true, you know, because, like, all the problems and the contradictions are only rising. It's like the problems that we faced going into the Bernie era or whatever still exist and all that kind of thing. So I don't know if he's projecting a return to a kind of nihilism or what it is. Interesting.

Well, I guess this guy coined the term normcore right that's what they say yeah i don't know what that means um you know like the sort of the dad dressing this is weird this is interesting this is some pretty high highbrow shit man um his studies gave him the ability to recognize the tradition of Western image-making. There are certain patterns that emerge. As soon as you hit modernism, culture starts to go into these kind of, like,

patricidal cycles, where each generation that comes up tries to refute the past. And then he talks about, like, making K-hole. I don't know. I mean i i don't even know why i read this i guess i just wanted a palate cleanser from the gill mansion thing sorry guys sorry tanya's checked out um it's so uh why don't we just end it there huh

cut our losses all right uh i don't have anything else um anybody have anything they want to say happy full moon it was pretty cool last night yeah the moon's been looking good all week yeah the moon's been looking good all week epic definitely and it's out it's out real early usually before the sunset so you can catch the sunset and the moon rise at the same time do yourself a favor hell yeah all right everybody well thanks for tuning in this week we'll see you next time peace out