Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 262: The Voice vs. Joyce

Episode Date: September 22, 2022

We cover a wide range of topics this week, and show off our vast knowledge of literature and gain of function research Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

Damn it. Yesterday I was trying to get the worst possible Hank Hill impression. Having realized I'll never be able to master it, I've now tried shooting for the worst possible impression. Give it to me. Damn it, Bobby. That's pretty bad. Damn it, Bobby.

Give it to me. Damn it, Bobby. That's pretty bad. Damn it, Bobby. You're like Hank Hill as he's running out of batteries. Batteries are dying. Damn it, Bobby. Whacking in my toe shed. It makes you cringe, doesn't it?

It's a little hard to hear. It is funny that that line is like a famous Hank Hill line, but he never said that in King Leo when he was on Beavis and Butthead. That was a Beavis and Butthead movie. Yeah. That was Beavis and Butthead to America. He made his debut, I guess. Yeah.

And his character totally changed once he... Yeah, he would never say that now. Do you ever listen to that song, that band, The National? Have you ever listened to them before? Do you know who they are? I you know i know the national is yeah i've never really listened to them though i kind of feel i know what they're they are though and what they do okay yeah i feel like their thing sounds like if hank hill had a indie band like you ever listen to him. They're like You lost your shit and you drove through the garden I listened to that one album that they had that was like High violet I love violet. Yeah

About that album when I was in college. I remember kind of thumbing through that when I was trying to see what was on the other side of rap and country. I was like, man, there's probably a whole world to explore out there. I mean, I knew Tom Petty's. Everybody that Rerun was into. I had an encyclopedic knowledge. I knew about Uriah Heep and Emerson,

and Palmer and all those bands, but couldn't tell you anything about. But I caught up. That's really funny, because that's probably literally the reason I got into it. I didn't get into it. I bought the album, and I listened to it once. I was like, what the fuck did I spend money on?

Oh, you heard about the band that sounds like Hank Hill. Yeah. It's like I said what this is about. You drove your car. They're like a specific kind of songwriter that tries to do a storytelling thing. Their whole thing is they just do anecdotes and people are like, this is relatable. Yeah. This is relatable.

I feel like we have a friend that worked for the national for some reason at some point really i can't remember who did that or who told me that or maybe worked for the main guy or something i love the girl what were they what are their songs i love this girl girl. That might dang hold up man. They have

a song called I Need My Girl. I need my girl propane accessories.

Oh shit. Oh man. Well let me ask you a question. I've been

listening to that new Quentin Tarantino podcast oh i did another way yes him and i think roger um yeah roger ailes uh different guy they uh i guess like him and his buddies that worked at that video store that he famously... Quentin Tarantino's origin story is he was just a video store nerd that just made Reservoir Dogs and then it just took off. I'm sure the story's a little more complicated than that. But I do this podcast where they just take three movies and go through it.

And I've just sat there thinking the whole time, how many of these movies is this motherfucker lying about having seen because part of being a man is just lying about stuff that you've consumed like even my impulse when you said the national was like oh yeah yeah yeah for sure man and even and the thing is i couldn't tell you anything about that high vibe album but i remembered thumbing through it and i was like that's the that's the most i can yeah pull off here you know that's what i was wondering the same thing um because he's got like an encyclopedic knowledge about like asian cinema for example

and it's like come on quentin tarantino's a little bit racist, right? Like, there's no way. I mean, like, a little bit of it. Right. It's funny to hear him talk because he just knows chapter and verse of the most obscure B-movies and TV movies and all this stuff. And I'm just like, how much of this do you know about versus you have actually seen, though? That's the disparity. do you know about versus you have actually seen though that's the disparity i know about a lot that i've not actually consumed just because like i read a lot of magazines and stuff like that right right same here i've read wikipedia a lot yeah well the thing is is i know where to look for information that's the thing that separates me from the rest of the herd you know i know where

to look i don't know the details specifically you know where to go get i know where to go get the goods yeah yeah well then in that same podcast he was like confesses that he's never seen interview with a vampire and i was like okay maybe i do believe him because i too have never seen interview with a vampire neither but i know everything about it yeah antonio banderas i know everything you know was it tom cruise and br and Brad Pitt? Brad Pitt, yeah. Yeah, Anna Rice wrote the book. Yeah. And I think she died recently. Yeah, not too long ago.

And she was like a Christian too toward the end of her life. I think so. I just remember seeing a quote of hers that went around that she slam dunked on Twilight or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah that yeah just like come on you wrote a book about vampires you don't get to hate you don't get to gatekeep vampires

they've been around a minute you know uh-huh maybe that's not fair i don't know it was funny to think about that like i was like god there's so much that I've lied about and haven't seen. Let's just do a little confession round. Okay. We'll start off with an interview with Matt. We've both not seen that. Not seen it. Name something that you've lied about having seen that you've... Recently.

Yeah. I lied about The Wire for a long time before I actually saw it. Yeah. TV shows are the easiest, though. Sopranos. I lied about watching Sopranos forever See the easiest ones See for me

I lie about books all the time Yeah War and Peace Never read War and Peace Never did I know But like I No one's ever gonna read War and Peace So you can be like

Nobody can call you My favorite scene is when Sam Gets into selling propane And propane accessories It's a weird turn That nobody talks about War and Peace. Propane hadn't even been discovered yet, if you can believe it. People are like, wow, this man is well-read. He is an educated...

He got to the propane part of War and Peace. Yeah. Yeah, books, I feel like here's a good rule any movie over 90 minutes you can lie about and any book under 200 pages you can lie yes yes you know yeah the thicker and longer the thicker and longer there's more source material to work with you can just say yeah that's and even even if someone calls you on it be like no, that was in a footnote. Did you not read the footnotes, bitch? I guess you didn't read the appendices.

Wow. You didn't go to the back of the book. See, so you're lazy is what you're saying. You're a slouch, you're a slacker. Yet we own so many books, like most of my books on my shelf I've not read in their entirety. I thought about that. I have to periodically put a moratorium on buying new books so that i can read the books i actually have in a way they're kind

of like life insurance if you think i can't die yet i've not read uh american pastoral by philip roth i have read that one and i i will say i've only read two other of his books. I read Portnoy's Complaint, and I read a book. I'm going to play a game here, folks. Name which one of these he's lying about. Name which one of these three he's lying about. He's read two, and he's lying about one, which is... Smart Money's on Portnoy's Complaint. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Actually, I think you're right. I don't think actually um i did read one of his books though in my late teens called my life as a man and it's because my friend kevin read it and he was extremely scandalized by it he was like oh my god he was like i can't believe this that's why i was like what what is there in this book that's scandalizing and there's a scene in that book where the protagonist's girlfriend mistress it's loosely based on philip ross i think like he is having a conversation in this living room with some people and his mistress is in the kitchen and he can see her but no one else in the room can and she takes a cucumber and starts sticking it

in her pussy. Just what a normal thing would happen. Just what a normal thing would happen. Like sticking a cucumber, using it like a dildo. And I was reading that as like a 19 year old like this this is what it means to be a manly writer listen man that's all you gotta do is depict a weird sex act in literature and that's just how it is yeah well philip ross one of those guys that from time to time gets made fun of for their depiction of sex and books

james salter i feel like to you know the horny writers john updike john updike big horny guy big horny guy um well it's funny to think about like that adam levine scandal that popped off yeah and it's like okay is this an adam levine dm or a james novel. You know, like just the blind taste test. It's a fun game, yeah. Because both can have big auga humna humna. Your body is absurd. Your body. I may need to see the booty.

I love that line. I love that. Like, I don't, you know, I've been checking. I might need to see the booty. My man thought he was getting a line off there, too. Uh-huh. Like, I'm, I'm, I don't, I don't, you know, I've been checking. I might need to see the booty. You know, my man thought he was getting a line off there, too. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Well, I will have, I do have to say that I am a little annoyed by all the people that,

it's like projection. All the people that are like, oh, this is how white men flirt in the DMs. And it's like, come on. Nobody is the paragon of flirting in the DMs other than James Joyce. James Joyce had it nailed. Yeah. Yeah, James Joyce was the OG, I want to fuck your slutty little holes guy. You know what I mean? The guy that really got in there.

Let me read the letter james joyce wrote to his wife in december 1909 i love this i like i was thinking the funny thing about this is i was like you know how there's essays that you return to like over the course you like favorite essays of yours that you're some of your writers have written a favorite writer Percy on bourbon. I don't even really drink bourbon anymore, but that's a good one I go back to. Or like an essay I went back to for a really long time was like that Tom Skaka essay on smarm. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or like David Foster Wallace, like any of those, like on David Lynch. Another guy that no doubt lied about his consumption of entertainment products. Yeah. Well, I don't know. Maybe apparently he used to watch TV for like 12 hours a day. I have no doubt he watched every TV show,

but there's no chance he read War and Peace. He definitely lied about it, though. That's true. Yeah, that's definitely true. But I will say- Imagine you and DFW and... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that part.

I like the propane section. The propane part. The propane section in War and Peace. Yeah. My favorite. Yeah. I go back to the James Joyce horny love letters just as often as I go back to some of my favorite

written pieces. And honestly, I go back to this more than anything. I've never read Ulysses. I've never read Finnegan's Wake. Dablin'er's none of it. Never read a word of Joyce or any of them. But I have gone back to this. To Nora, my sweet little whorish Nora,

I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter I'm delighted to see that you do like being fucked arseways Yes now I can remember that night When I fucked you for so long backwards It was the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you darling This is truly the The dirty texting of an Irishman

I like pulled off. That's not used. Yeah, yeah. Arseways. Pulled off. Now I can remember that the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you. My prick was stuck in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump.

I felt your fat, sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you, your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips. And if I gave you a bigger, stronger fuck than usual fat dirty fart came spluttering out of your backside. They're teaching this and they should be. It sounds like Joyce also might be one of the few hung Irishmen. Along with him and Colin Farrell. That's about where it ends. Liam Neeson.

Yeah. And yours truly, obviously. Willem Dafoe. Did you ever hear that? Willem Dafoe was so hung that Lars Ventura actually had to give him a smaller dick for Antichrist. How does that work? What do you do? I guess I give him a smaller dick for Antichrist. How does that work? What do you do?

I guess I gave him a CGI small cock. You have to cram your massive cock into a smaller cock? I guess. Ball it up and put it to a tiny prosthesis. Oh my God. Another movie I've not seen, Antichrist. I have seen a few of his movies, but that's not one of them.

Melancholia. I have seen Melancholia. I saw that one in theaters. I'm glad about seeing it. I never saw Antichrist because I heard there was a scene on it where, why am I blinking on her name? Mia Goth?

No, Mia Goth is in the one, Nymphomaniac. No, and she's in Nymphomaniac, too. Anyways, I heard there's a scene where she beats his balls and then he comes blood. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, dude, I don't think I can handle that. Which brings us to the next line in Joyce's. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling.

I like, yeah, just an arse full of farts. The man was turned on by flatulence, seems like. He was, he was. There's nothing wrong with that. And I fucked them out of you. Big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks, and a lot of tiny little naughty farties

ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman those long windy ones quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole it is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her i think i would know nora's fart anywhere i think i could pick hers out in a room full of farting women is it really girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which i imagine fat wives have it is sudden and dry and and dirty like a bald girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. Hope Nora will let off no end of

her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also. Yeah. Try to beat that Adam Levine. His were like your body's absurd. Your body is a wonderland fun. We're like, your body's absurd. Your body is a wonderland. Fuck. Fuck.

That's honestly more my style. There's my God. My God, that ass. I just love how we've consulted with the experts and may need to see the booty. May need to see the booty. Yeah, I think I'm leaning toward going to have to see the booty. That night I'm living

Just living to my deal leaning toward gonna have to see the booty. That night I'm living, just leaning to my DM. Oh, boy. That's, that's, yeah, I don't know. It was funny that people were like, other girls have come, other women have come

for and what saying that he's flirted with him in the dms oh jesus oh no yeah i don't know it's uh you know i don't know that guy makes very bad music, I have to say that. Exceptionally bad. I just have never cared for Maroon 5, period. Really? Not even a little bit. Never cared about anything. Not even at the very beginning when they were... I don't know.

I mean, night on my hands spinning. That had a little... The National needs to remake that. The National featuring Hank Hill. Oh, my. Selling propane. Selling accessories of propane. Out on the corner in the pouring rain oh god man i mean that's the horniness of a man on the go. That's, that's, I would tell you something.

If you were to just, like, you know, again, blind taste test those sex DMs. Yeah. And you didn't know who said that. Yeah. You could surmise that it was a guy that hosts The Voice, though. You 100%. You could surmise that it was a guy that hosts The Voice, though. You could narrow it down to Blake Shelton, Adam Levine, CeeLo Green. So just to keep track here, what are we blind taste testing? We're blind taste testing DMs from horny pop stars.

Who said it, James Salter or Adam Levine? Or Adam Levine. Was it Adam Levine to a fitness influencer on Instagram? Or was it Or 20th century novelist.

Or was it James Salter from James Salter is a sport in the past. All that is. Yeah. Oh, shit. Pretty good.

Fuck. I don't know. That seems to me like a tacit endorsement of the KKK. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah, it's disgusting. Yeah, it's pretty disgusting. Oh, God. What else happened this week inside the completely legal gop plot just destroy american you made a good point with this

the fact that it's legal kind of implies that uh there is no democracy anyway. You hear me wheezing over here? Are you letting out little merry cracks? I'm letting out merry cracks. Long windy ones and little merry cracks. If James Joyce fucked me and wrote me dirty letters, that's what it would be. My horse, Little Terrance. My horse, Little's what it would be. My whorish little Terrence. My whorish little Terrence.

Let out little merry wheezes. When I gave you a good strong fuck, you sounded like an asthmatic boy. You sounded like a coal miner. When I fucked you arseways, it sounded like you were afflicted by Black lung disease Coal miners pneumoconiosis

To my hoarse little dance Here's a story in the Washington Post Pentagon Be deviled by recruitment failures as solutions prove elusive. Military officials and lawmakers on Wednesday painted a grim picture of recruiting efforts within the Defense Department. As a recent study suggests, worrisome shortfalls could grow worse if more women declined to serve over restrictive abortion laws in many Republican-led states where U.S. personnel are based.

Interesting. I hadn't even read past the headline. I didn't know that was the thing. It's like they're having a hard time recruiting on one hand because Our boys have more opportunities. Joe Biden believes. They can just get on the dole.

They can get on the dole now. They don't have to pay student loans anymore. But on the other hand, people don't want to move to states where they might be stationed, where they can't get an abortion. It's just another example of how the military's been sissified, I think.

It's true. You'd think you'd check your rights at the door when you go enlist. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When you take that vow. When you take Omerita. Omerita, yeah, to protect the Constitution. Yeah, to protect America against enemies, both foreign and domestic.

Yeah, it says, saying its recruiting environment is the worst it has been Since the end of the Vietnam War Some of the military services Will just barely meet their goals As the fiscal year ends Later this month Officials said in testimony

Before the Senate Armed Services Committee Wow the army The armed forces largest branch Will miss its target By 30,000 soldiers. They have soldier quotas? They do. Damn. Boys, boys, we have to go

brainwash 30,000 guys into becoming cannon fodder with the promise of free college eventually. We have about 30,000 listeners. The whole Troubillies fan base could join. We could shore up the short listeners. The whole Troubillies fan base could join. We could shore up, yeah.

We could shore that up. We could shore up the shortfall. We could go to them and say, we have an offer you can't refuse. We want something in return. We know you need 30,000 boys and girls. We can give you that. But in return, we request one nuclear weapon.

That's it, just one. one nuclear weapon one that's it just one one nuclear weapon for 30,000 boys and girls I'd make that deal would you make that deal I think our fan base would

where would we store it at well you know the office here has a bunch of shovels and other flood relief stuff. We could store it here for now. But we could drive it around in the back of my truck for at least 12 months. Rattling around back there.

We could easily do that. Military leaders teach a three-word mantra, adapt and overcome, to every service member. It's part reminder and part roadmap for how to meet challenges head on. Tom Tillis said there's little evidence to suggest the outlook will improve anytime soon. There is no sunlight on the horizon.

Wow. Tom's sailing on it, huh? Bearish on the military. He's bearish on huh he thomas on the military bearish on the military bullish which is i think he's bearish or yeah i think for as often as i say that i really need to know the difference i think it's they say bearish because bears are little pussies so they run away yeah you gotta say bear and then they just yeah no one's ever been eaten by a bear honestly it's really offensive that you know due to the bad reputation they get because of the affordable bear act they are perceived as aggressive when yeah in all actuality really

really and truly they're staying at home and just getting that check every now and then. They're on the dole. Only time you'll see a bear is on the 1st and the 15th. Sitting on a lawn chair waiting for the mail to run. Uh-huh. It was unclear from Wednesday's hearing whether the Pentagon has prepared for the possibility that some of the military's biggest straws,

including the GI Bill, which offers generous educational benefits in exchange for military service, would one day prove inadequate in the face of waning public interest. Only 1 in 11 people ages 17 to 24 have a propensity to serve, said Lieutenant General Caroline Miller. The confluence of problems they described include high school closures during the coronavirus pandemic that strained access to military prospects, a competitive job market luring talent away, and obesity and other health problems drawing up an already small pool of Americans who physically qualify for enlistment. Wow.

Damn. Damn. That's what nobody was talking about in the obesity discourse last week. A little bit of ableism on part of the military. Yeah, a little bit of military ableism. Wow. Some prospective solutions, like an army program that sends motivated recruits who perform poorly on tests to remedial training.

What's the military aptitude test called? I don't know. This basic? I'm going to... I almost said like the NFL aptitude test. It's the same one. Same one, yeah. On Wednesday, panelists from each of the military service

summarize their outlook ahead of the fiscal year's end. The Air Force makes its goals with a narrow margin but misses its but miss its targets for reservists rick cheeseman vice admiral rick cheeseman rick the cheese rick the cheese man said the navy has met its goals for bringing in new active sailors oh yeah now because yeah well it's because they've let the gays in now that's right that's right and if you're gay in the military you're gonna go gays in now. That's right, that's right. And if you're gay in the military, you're gonna go Navy, naturally.

That's right, that's right. That's what I'd do. I'd be in it for the fashion. That's what we were always told growing up. Gays went to the Navy. The gays went to the Navy. Were you told that? The gavy, yeah.

Were you told that? Yeah. That's so funny. By our fathers who had a lot of anxiety about each and every one of us becoming gay. Yeah, yeah. They were like, don't embarrass me.

Don't join the fucking Navy. You can do anything, son. Join any branch of the military. I'll be proud of you except one. Except one of them. You become a goddamn sailor. The Marine Corps only slightly adjusted its original recruitment goal and met its mission.

The officials did not offer much insight into how the Supreme Court's decision this year ending the constitutional right to abortion may further strain the desire to serve among women. Like, okay, then why earlier in the article did they mention that i feel like there is this conservative effort concerted effort among liberal media to try to like do a gotcha on the conservatives by being like your precious military is gonna decline if you don't allow abortion when in fact like conservatives hate the military, right?

Right, right, right. They hate everything about America. Yeah. So, and you know, they think the military's like sissified now, too. Right. So, it doesn't matter, I guess, is the point. I don't know.

A recent study by the RAND Corp said that of the 201,000 women serving on active duty in the continental U.S., about 40% are stationed in states that either have or will have the highest restrictions. Women already exit the service at higher rates than men, according to the RAND report. It is not unreasonable to expect that both women's propensity to serve and their subsequent retention intentions will decrease. Semen retention.

Semen retention, right, right, right. That's what we need to, if we want more boys to serve, we need our boys to practice semen retention. No busting. Yeah. No busting, no busting caps. No busting none of the time. That makes a better soldier.

You can bust caps, but not nuts. Right. That none of the time. That makes a better soldier. You can bust caps but not nuts. That should be the military's improvement strategy. Yeah, we catch you nutting, you're out. Bust caps, not nuts. I don't even know if anyone says that anymore. Does anyone say bust? That was like, in like the 2000s,

like racist white dudes would try to like make fun of black culture. By saying, bust a cap. Bust a cap, schpo shizzle. That kind of stuff. You still hear it. Yeah, that is kind of a subtext of certain comedy is white guys trying to sound black. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, my God. Oh, God. That's a hard day. That's a hard day. Anyways, Elizabeth Warren chastised the panel over general statements about the problem of sexual assault. Warren said a failure to bring the numbers down can undermine interest for women to enlist and sour the career for those who are already in uniform.

It's just such an insane position. It's like we have to keep abortion legal lest our military be undermined. Right, right. Well, it is kind of like... The aggressive glue that holds this whole thing together. Larry Summers has some ideas God

Did you see that I want to see Larry Summers I mean it just befuddles me so much To be like you're supposed to be this like Harvard economist And the sick thing is I used to think a guy like larry summers was just like evil just like you know whatever uh-huh but he really i feel like there's

an authenticity to his like well i don't know why this is happening yeah let me get straight you've directed financial economic policy in this country to the detriment of millions, and yet you're like, it's almost like he's punting. Well, have you noticed how they, maybe we should read the tweet we're talking about. Yeah. There's the thread, Lauren Summers,

Nick Eberstadt's book, Men Without Work, is a searing indictment of contemporary America. It convinces me that economics cannot explain why one in seven prime men age 25... Are you a prime man? Are you a prime man? I've never felt that way,

but I'm not counting it out. Go on. Ages 25 to 54 are not working today amidst a massive labor shortage. Watch our discussion at AEI, American Interpreters. I didn't catch that the first time. Most of those not working say they don't want to work. There are two vacancies for every unemployed person.

All countries have structural change, but the U.S. stands out. Demand-side economics won't fix this problem. My reading of the data is that increased transfer payments cannot explain the big rise in non-work. There are today too few beneficiaries receiving too little for this to be the largest part of the story. This is the one that got roasted.

There is some social phenomenon, which I suspect explains non-work, non-marriage, deaths of despair, general alienation, and I suspect the rise of reactionary populism. It should be a major task of social science to understand it well have you noticed how it's just such have you noticed how in the last few years there's

arisen this whole thing you know obviously we first documented it with like chris hayes but you know the most recent iteration was Andy Beshear after the floods. Like, why is this happening? It's the same thing here. Yeah, everybody feels like there's this immutable force that's pulling the strings to everybody's detriment and nobody can figure out why that's happening.

It is weird. For some people who are representatives of supposedly this material field of study, economics, they have all these non-material... I don't even know what his explanation for it is. I think that he's not even... What was his laundry list of social ills? Non-work, non-marriage, deaths of despair, general alienation, and the rise of reactionary populism.

I guess some guys just can't get bitches. That's the only, I think that's, yeah, that's the social, some social force. It's Larry Summers, if you saw his DMs with the free hand at the market, it'd be like, fuck. Fuck. the free hand at the market,

it'd be like, fuck. Fuck. I think I'm gonna have to see the booty, as in the pirate's booty, as in the money that's been looted. I may need to see the booty. Oh my God, that body is absurd. He's talking about the social body, the political body, the body politic. That that body is absurd. He's talking about the social body, the political body.

The body politic. That body politic is absurd. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Oh man. Wait, what if Adam Levine also went to a side chick and asked her if he could name his forthcoming son with his wife?

See, that's the, that's, if's if you're if that is a that is a special type of brain disease yeah that's if you want to talk pure deviance that's pure yeah that's yeah that's malice i would say that's malice yeah that's oh boy that would be funny if lauren summers put that in here non-workwork, non-marriage, deaths of despair, general alienation, Adams, Levine's DMs to his mistress, and the rise of reactionary populism. Same force that causes all those things. There has to be an explanation for all of those things.

Yeah. I don't know. He doesn't offer. The thing is, the thing is, is that if you just go Google Jeffrey Epstein and Lawrence Summers, you'll be greeted with all kinds of interesting photos

of the two of them together. It's them two riding a roller coaster in Dollywood their hands up spring break oh one the time of our lives just them wearing spray hairbrush shirts the funny thing is like I saw someone point that out in the comments and then I saw someone else say I don't mean to like nitpick, but is it possible that maybe Larry Summers didn't know about Epstein? Nobody knew about his actions until recently. Maybe Larry Summers didn't know about him.

It's like, no, no, no, you don't understand. Jeffrey Epstein had one job. His one job was to procure underage sex... Escorts for all these cretins. Yeah, yeah. So that's, of course he fucking knew. Larry Summers, of course fucking knew. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Hey, Darsh. No work. Hey, Darsh, Jeff's going to roll on us. I don't know so the social phenomenon the social phenomenon let's see what else we got here we're just going through the hits

we got even by thinking about it because you're sending it Trump says you can declassify documents even by thinking about them which I agree with I agree yeah if you think about something it should be it should exist I'm just gonna focus on

he's manifesting that's the thing Trump is now into manifesting cause like he endorsed like QAnon and all that so now he's into manifesting That's the thing Trump is now into manifesting Because he endorsed QAnon and all that So now he's into manifesting Crystals and stuff probably Gosh The life and legacy of Marianne Williamson Looms large

Yeah I wish that I could pee But I cannot. I am in misery. Mostly cause I cannot pee. And I must see the booty.

Oh, fucking hell. Fucking hell. I wonder if the flood relief workers downstairs could hear me reading the James Joyce letter. They're like, what kind of fucked up shit is going on? No, they're like, oh, man, a fellow Joyce had, huh? A fellow Dubliner upstairs. To my hoarse little Terrence the last time I gave you a good fucking huh

it sounded as if you needed albuterol treatments oh fucking hell um let's see what else privilege is in crisis look at our elite private schools um i don't know if our elite private schools are having a crisis too it might be dude everything's in crisis an american and queen elizabeth's funeral cue why i went and what i found there do you want to read that one or is that one too spicy? That's a little too spicy, isn't it? I'm trying to be nice. I'm trying to be more ecumenical to the Silas houses of the world, but he makes it so goddamn hard sometimes.

It's pretty bad. Pretty bad. Let's see. What else we got here? David from Writing in the Atlantic. Who benefits when Western museums return looted art? The repatriation of stolen objects has become a ritual of self-purification through purgation. But who it really serves is less clear than it might seem.

Yeah. So he's saying we should keep those war trophies. We should keep the war booty. I may need to keep the booty. I may need to keep the booty. We do want to spread democracy but the booty well that stays. That's ours.

I may need to keep it. I don't know what else. I think that about covers it, honestly. You know, like we were saying, obviously there's the Brett Favre thing, which we talked about on the Patreon on Sunday. I think one crucial detail I left out is it wasn't just a matter of him not taking money and not showing up for the speeches.

They were taking it from the welfare fund. Well, another detail that I didn't realize is that it wasn't just Brett Favre. It was widespread. Oh, really? Yeah, like multiple. As it says here, a motley assortment of political appointees, former football stars, one-time professional wrestlers, business figures, and various friends of the state's former Republican governor

all stand accused of pocketing or misusing money. Remember that wrestler, the million dollar man? Ted DiBiase, of course. Yeah, he was Ted DiBiase got in on it! Ted DiBiase got in on it. Five million dollars. He's the five million dollar man. He's the five million. Damn. Ted DiBiase got in on it. Ted DiBiase got in on it. $5 million. He's the $5 million man now.

He's the $5 million. Damn. Ted DiBiase got... He's trying to change his whole shtick. Yeah. $5 million from the welfare fund. Yeah, man. Ted DiBiase's from Mississippi.

It doesn't sound like... I don't think you had to even be... They were just giving it away. But the thing was... Another thing that I didn't realize from Sunday is that Brett Favre also orchestrated more than $2 million in government funds being channeled to biotech startup to a biotech

startup in which he had invested what if fucking Brett Favre was responsible for COVID this motherfucker's doing biotech and that project was called yeah that project he was doing controversial what was the thing called

oh man what was it called He was doing controversial. What was the thing called? Oh, man. What was it called? Oh, shit. Where they were basically- Perhaps the surest sign we were playing fast and loose is that we can't recall what kind of research they were doing that we were so resolute about back last winter. Yes, of course.

Well, this is gain of- What is it? G of course. Well, this is a gain of function. What is it? Gain of function. Yeah, it was gain of function. Yeah. Well, this is a classic gain of function. Six months later. What was that?

They were doing something. I mean, just bitching at Patreons. Like, you fuck us? I know all about this. Oh, shit, dude. Yeah, we're the biggest hacks. Yeah, we're the biggest hacks. Yeah, we're the biggest hacks. Experts, yeah, Brett Favre was doing gain-of-function research.

Experts said the fraud was... Brett Favre sent millions of Mississippi welfare funds to the Wuhan lab in October of 2019. The record show. Oh my God. This is another part I didn't know about. Experts said the fraud was rooted in changes enacted in such programs in 1996.

Very strange sentence. Is this a long long con very yeah very strange sentence but what they're talking about is welfare reform but they don't say welfare reform or clinton they just said was rooted in such programs in 1996 when cash benefits paid to poor families were replaced by block grants issued to states. Right, yeah. Which I guess lent itself to this dynamic where they could basically use it as like a slush fund. Yeah, so you could just go up there and apply for grant funding or whatever rather than just have your entitlements

mailed directly to you every month. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bill Clinton did that. Bill Clinton. I love that Bill. Who do you think came up with the three strikes law? Bill Clinton. That is the...

We got Adam Levine and Brett Favre in the same week. You know, like two notorious DM sliders. I don't think Brett Favre was, well, I guess he was, I guess he was just unsolicited text. That was like the old nine DM slider. Right. That is fucked up. That's fucked up.

If somebody corrects me, it was a Jet sideline reporter, not a cheerleader. Oh, yeah. That he'd sent the unimpressive. Jesus Christ. That is really fucked up. Yeah. Bet you've never had anything like this,

like a perfectly just right down the middle. Yeah. Yeah. There's one thing when you're not particularly hung you can't the one thing you have to immediately scratch out your repertoire is any sort of domination type thing type bit like you can't come in with a five and a half inch rock hard cock and say i bet you've never had anything like this when When Law of Averages says exactly 50% of the sex she's had

was exactly like that. If not more than that. The vast majority of the sex she's had has been somewhere in that ballpark. Well, fucking James Joyce didn't let it stop him he was getting he was getting fucking farted on he was like please fart in my face that absolutely enjoyed his sex life yeah i mean to a fault you dirty little sluts blow the farts all over me. Ha, ha, ha. Ay, ay, ay.

Ay, ay, ay, ay. That's when she read the letter from the James Joyce archives. Ha, ha, ha. About blown hearts. Oh, man. I hope that there's no big national fans out there. It's all love, you know. I'd love for somebody to get big mad at you for making fun of the national.

I'm doing it from a place of love. Anytime anybody gets mad at you, you say that. Look, I'm just making fun from a place of love. Anytime anybody gets mad at you, you say that. Look, I'm just making fun from a place of love. It's gentle ribbing. Yeah. You just eviscerate someone. Yeah, this fucking piece of shit. Hey, it's all just a good fun.

General ribbing. Yeah. Yeah, gentle. Yeah, I don't know. Dude, the thing is, is like no one's been putting out anything good to read anymore There's no fucked up articles anymore Like what

Should we do the American In the Queens Court An American An American Yankee What was the Twain story Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur's Court A Kentucky Hillbilly

And Queen Elizabeth's Funeral procession Was that the thing Mark Twain wrote that Was the whole idea going back in time I think Again another thing that I have a lot about reading Yeah

I read a lot of Twain I know the broad strokes I know the contours Know twain i know i know the broad strokes i know the contours know the characters don't really know the the shit same same and i'm yawning that's how you know it's bad i'm yawning uh that's how that's how you know you're it's time to wrap it up that's how you know that the sugar hot like from all that fucking the thing is i ate a shitload of chocolate just right before we recorded i was just pd performance enhancing drugs and now it's fucking wearing off i'm struggling man i'm

fucking struggling um let's see let's see let's see let's see uh china is running covert operations that could seriously overwhelm us that's in the new york times okay in my three decade career with britain's intelligence service china was never seen as a major threat if we lost sleep at night it was more over the soviet union um it's a different picture today china has acquired global economic and diplomatic influence oh no they've acquired influence no my god my god enabling covert operations that extend well beyond traditional intelligence gathering are growing in scale and threatened to overwhelm western security agencies um let's see. The U.S. and British domestic intelligence

chiefs signaled rising concern over this with an unprecedented joint news conference in July to warn of as Mr. Ray put it.

No relation. Because he spells it the fucked up way. W-R-A-Y. Who the fuck would spell it that way? It's an absolute pervert as mr ray put it a breathtaking chinese effort to steal technology

and economic intelligence and to influence foreign politics in beijing's favor the pace was quickening they said with the number of mi5 investigations into suspected chinese activity having increased sevenfold since 2018 i like the presumption of doing politics in beijing's favor like they're supposed to be doing something else like they're supposed to be operating it to beijing's detriment right right right yeah like they frame that in american media is like this evil plot it's like actually any state should be doing that in theory. The notion that they would wake up every day

and not do something in America's interest. It's just beyond the pale. The culture of the CCP has always had a clandestine nature, but as the party has become an even more dominant force in China since President Xi took over a power decade ago, this has metastasized in state institutions. I fucking hate it when things metastasize

in state institutions. Bad news, bad news. It's bad news when things A. Metastasize in state institutions. When they B. Gain global diplomatic influence.

Yeah. Let's see you do things in Beijing. China can best be described as an intelligent state. Okay, that's the thing that was in this article. As an intelligent state? As if we do not have a very elaborate intelligence apparatus. What the fuck is an intelligence state?

The party views the business of acquiring and protecting secrets as an all-of-nation undertaking to the point that rewards are offered to citizens for identifying possible spies and even school children are taught to recognize threats holy shit as if the united states doesn't do didn't do that all throughout like the war on terror or the war on drugs like when we were kids like how often did you worry about russia and iraq like it was always on my mind like oh my god we're gonna saddam hussein saddam insane more like in my right class right my right my fellow children classmates it's more like saddam insane, right? And then there's like, sit down.

Someone hits you with a spitball on the forehead. Yeah. The West cannot fight fire with fire. Mobilizing government, society, and economic and academic systems around competition with foreign foes the way China does would betray Western values. Okay, what the fuck? so let me get this straight the great dragon of the east is just out out of bounds for betraying western values i love that mobilizing government society

and economic and academic systems around competition with foreign foes the way China does would betray Western values. As if like the entire like NGO, university system regime isn't all geared towards furthering America's imperial technological meddling in any

sort of anything that's even some semblance of an egalitarian project. Who even wrote this? Nigel Inkster. Oh, of course, it's a British intelligence agent. There's only one thing a guy named Nigel Inkster was born to do, and that's to be in British intelligence. A rat.

Yeah. Inkster. Or a Mr. Bean character. Uh-huh. That's like being named Major Applewhite and think you're gonna be anything but a college quarterback. Inkster. You've got James Joyce

on one. Which way, western man? James Joyce and his farts getting blown in your face? Or Inkster with his western values? Yeah. Choose wisely. Leaders of democracies need to internalize the sea change that has taken place in China and ensure that engagement with Beijing is tempered

by a hard-headed sense of reality. The last state intelligence threat of comparable magnitude was posed by the Soviets, but the Soviet Union was isolated and impoverished. China's successful economy, on the other hand, is a key engine of global growth, vastly increasing Beijing's reach. Fairly visible on the world stage 30 years ago, China's intelligence agencies are now powerful and well-resourced. They are adept at exploiting the vulnerabilities of open societies and growing dependence on China's economy to collect vast volumes of intelligence and data. Much of this takes place in the cyber domain.

That's right. They're cybering. ASL. They're doing ASL. Want a cyber? Question mark. Want a cyber? That's literally...

Fuck. Yeah, I was gonna say dude like asking people on the other side of the world who were probably just other boys my age if they were gonna cyber is how i developed my game yeah that's you know so uh you know i, you can either be Adam Levine, James Joyce, Nigel Ings. We cut our teeth. We would all go down to the damn community college computer lab and sign in and immediately go to a chat site called The Addict, and we'd be throwing them ASLs out all day. I think Tyrone's username was OrgyMan69.

He was not too subtle. Imagine four teenage boys just sitting there like, just trying to dirty channel the computers at the community. I don't have to imagine it. It was me. I did. I was very much Involved in that Like I've said before we were probably talking to each other

I was telling you I had strawberry blonde hair And telling you I was sticking a cucumber in my pussy When you said that There was this dude, Andrew, I used to know, in Moorhead, that he actually became a wrestler,

like, fuck, what? He was in, not WWE, but the other, a, God,

it's been so long since I've been into wrestling, but the other big, like, not WCW, but the other one. AEW, but I'm thinking. AEW the other one ew but aw i think yeah yeah yeah he was like he was like the tag team champion of aw but around county high school the story was him and his girlfriend were doing some cucumber play oh wow and then unbeknownst to them they

left it and they came back at their her his mom or dad or somebody had chopped up the cucumber and put it in like the water for the you know like what you call it yeah like the the cooler the water yeah whatever or you know or the carof so that's a common thing wow dicey proposition if you go to squash though Because you can get toxic squash syndrome Really It sounds like a joke But it really is a thing

It's like some kind of fungus That can be deadly If you're doing it With cucumber But you're Playing with fire if you go squash you're you're right there is cucurbitacin um wait so i guess even cucumbers are not immune yeah let's see cucurbitacin is a class of biochemical compounds that some plants notably members of the pumpkin and gourd family, produce and which function as a defense against herbivores. Cucurbitacins are chemically classified as triterpenes, formerly derived from cucurbitane, a triterpene hydrocarbon.

Let's go into the carbon chain here. Let's go into the, uh, specifically from the unsaturated variant cucurbit 5-ene or 19. Um, let's see. So what does it do to you though? There there's, wow, there's a lot of different versions. Cucurbitacin A, Cucurbitacin B, all the way to Cucurbitacin T. The toxicity associated with consumption of foods high in cucurbitacins is sometimes referred to as toxic squash syndrome. In France in 2018, two women who ate soup

made from bitter pumpkins became sick, involving nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea, and had hair loss weeks later. Wow, dude. The squash are striking back. Yeah, did Walter White not know about this? Why couldn't he have just done that? Instead of ricin?

Ricin. Why couldn't he have poisoned his enemies with squash? With a delicious pumpkin soup. With a nice pumpkin bisque. So he didn't know everything, apparently. Wow. Wow, wow. I was trying to do Mike Ehrmantraut's voice, but I can't get there.

You know, Walter. You could just give him the pumpkin bisque. You could just give him the... Jesus Christ. Rope, preheat the oven to 375. You're gonna wanna line a baking sheet with aluminum foil. Here's what you're gonna do. Shut up.

Here's what you're gonna do. Shut up, here's what you're gonna do. Shut up, here's what you're gonna do. It's the national featuring Hank Hill and Mike Herman trailer. We were sailing methamphetamine Down at the local mall We needed some chemicals Only hang you in front

Well, that's probably about all for this week. I like that shirt you got on. Yep. Round Rock, Texas. Frontier Days, 1988, baby. I found this at a thrift store in, like, fucking Santa Fe or some shit for, like, $8. I like that Root and Tootin' guy with them dual pistols he's shooting off. $8, buddy.

I want to get a... I say, I say, come to Frontier Days 1988. Yeah, there's an armadillo. See? Yeah. See him? Well, let's just, let's finish out with the inkster here. Western countries shouldn't be afraid to make bold moves.

Actions like... Historically, they haven't. Yeah, historically, they have not made bold moves. They've not been real shy about that. Yeah. Yeah, historically, Western countries should not be afraid to be small beans. To be small, tender little beans. Nor should the impact of espionage

and subversion be overstated. The Soviet Union lost the Cold War not because of its intelligence operations, which were good, but because of the failure of its governing ideals. Oh, okay, it was communism's fault. Not having a robust spy community. Right, right.

The same may prove true with China. Western policymakers and intelligence services must innovate and adapt, but they also must ensure that strategies they employ honor the ideals of freedom, openness, and lawfulness. I fell asleep before I even finished. That sentence. The Inkster, man.

The fucking Inkster. He's got a Twitter page. Let's see what he looks like. Wow. Knowledge fucking angster. He's got a Twitter page. Let's see what he looks like. Wow. Nigel Angster. He looks like an angster. Nigel. Hey, my name's Nigel.

Read my news. I got a sub stack. Yeah, he got it. He has an article here. His top tweet. Queen Elizabeth wasn't innocent of the British Empire's colonial sins. This could only have been written by someone who doesn't understand how a constitutional monarchy works.

Just like in your retirement from like overthrowing governments around the world, just like arguing with people on Twitter. Yeah, it's just the most banal ending to like a sinister life. Yeah, yeah. I mean, these guys never probably made a lot of money being spies. You know what I'm saying?

Like, maybe they did. Imagine being a spy. It's like you just devote your life to international political gamesmanship, and it's probably a fairly dangerous job and all that stuff, just so you can get a shitty pension, a upper middle class salary, and make sure all the rich people of the world stay rich. Also, I'll make sure all poor and working people stay immiserate.

You don't really get anything out of it except the assurance that you're correct. Right. You did the right thing in your mind. And that's what all these articles are about, just to justify the misdeeds in their career. Absolutely. I wasn't wrong. It's the people that are idiots that don't know what a constitutional monarch is. 100%.

Here's what you're gonna do, Walter. We do that one again before we go. That wasn't good. That got me. Here's what you're gonna do. All right, Walter. Shut up. You're gonna preheat the oven to 325

You're gonna spread about a tablespoon of olive oil on a cookie sheet Get some smoked paprika, some pepper, some salt Put some olive oil on there You're gonna puree your pumpkins In batches You're gonna puree your pumpkins in batches. Oh, man. All right, well,

I think that about covers it for the week. Anything else before you go? Anything else? I think I'm... You're nationaled out? No, I want more Mike Urban Trout making poisonous pumpkins.

Well, you would like to support us on the Patreon website. Go to PRT... PRT? PartyOn. PartyOn. That's a different On. That's a different site. That's a different website. Isn't that a show?

It's a party line. That was like a show. Oh, never mind. There was this show on E! Channel that it was the first thing I ever jerked off to, pulled off to. The first thing I ever pulled off to was this show.

It's a Brooke Burt. It was the show on E! Channel called Wild On. Wild On. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember Wild On. And they used to, yeah, yeah. I remember Wild On. And they used to, like, what it was was, like, they would just, like, go show people partying in bikinis and stuff. Yeah.

And, like, kids. That's what dance used to pull off there. And, like, obviously, you couldn't, like, you literally had to take what you could get because, like, you couldn't,'t like save the video or rewind it or anything so you were just like you just had to do it as fast as possible you just had to pull off that was a frustrating thing about what your formative masturbatory experiences is like it would go to a commercial and then you'd have to like start all over basically you took what you got you took what you could get man i mean i saw someone say this on the tl they were like shout out to who said this i can't remember if you said this and you want credit for it you're

not embarrassed for saying it let me know they were like i don't find anything really they were like okay what it was was they were like uh i don't find anything really inconsistent about adam levine's tweets with someone over the age of 30 it's like it's it the the sex thing may be bad but at least they don't have porn brain so it's like trade-offs you know what i mean so it's like i guess that's true like we you know Our brains weren't ruined by pornography access at all times. We were jerking off to Brooke Burke and Wild N' On. That's true. We are the good ones.

We are the good ones here. We made it out. We're safe. I'm looking for validation somewhere in this. Yeah. We are morally upright for having been exposed to technological...

Having pulled off to a serious catalog. All right. Anyways, go to Patreon. P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash Trillbilly Workers Party. You can sign up for like 200 or some shit episodes.

Always appreciated. We always appreciate it. These lean and uncertain fiscal times. These are lean and uncertain fiscal times. You could say that again. All right, well, go sign up. We'll see you over there on Sunday. And if not, we'll see you back here next week.

Thanks for listening. Bye-bye.