Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 282: Keep Your Dreams Alive

Episode Date: March 16, 2023

A mysterious man crawled out of the ceiling of Tom's high school English class and taught everyone a very important lesson. Also features coverage of the Murdaugh murder trial, and a reading of David Frum's Iraq War revisionism. Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

That's how you know it's good Is it possible your house is haunted by The ghost of Joe Diffie I swear I was hearing that in my headphones If you're a dead country singer Looking for reanimation back into the world What better place to start than here Than right here

This is the place I mean, did you, was Joe Diffie here as a quarter call someone who cares? That's Travis Trill. He was propping me up

beside the trip box. Yeah. Before I die. If you recall, the woman on Twitter saying that he was hung. Oh. So yeah,

I ran into the cowboy in the late 90s. Wait, was that after he died? I think so. Wait, he died? he died like the day he died of covid and she was like yeah i ran into the cowboy in the early 90s and the reason he could prop be propped up inside the jukebox is because he had a third leg or something like that something goofy the same lady who said that beto was the type of guy to make, you know,

make you come into your craft. It wasn't the same one, but it's the same genre of person. Oh man, I love that. Like, we've got enough of those types of posts, in my opinion.

Just exceedingly horny on me. Yeah. Um, I mean, it's like, if you're going to get memorialized thoughized though i mean he was one of the earliest casualties of coped yeah and that was like you know that was the aura of early coped it's like oh big dick joe diffy died but at least he pleased a few women before he went out

more than a few i would say yeah it's like that's what that's i mean we talk about casualties of covid like joe diffy yes but also his monster con yeah yeah that's that's the real loss there i was thinking the other day i was trying to make up a indian version of dwight yocum's guitars cadillacs yeah hillbilly music. It's like sitars. Oh my God. What'd you come up with? What's a popular kind of car in India? Tata.

Rickshaw? I got the Tatas. The Tatas? Yeah, like the, I guess they're kind of like the Fiat's of India, kind of like a affordable everyman vehicle or something. Yeah, I forgot.

Sitars and Tatas. I was looking for, is rickshaw even a kind of car? Rickshaw? Is that a car? No, that's one of those, like a rickshaw driver, like, you know, you hop in the little carriage and they take you places. Okay. But they're popular in India, right? I don't know.

I've never been. Maruti Swift is a popular car in India. Maruti Suzuki. So it's like sitars, Maruti's Punjabi music. Punjabi music. Punjabi music.

God, that would be good. I should know these things. I've gotten really into. Sitars. I watched a movie called RRR. I'm really into Indian cinema. What's the message of RRR? I'm just joking. um yeah you're right tata it's on here we get the mahindra thar the fucking indian cards are crazy mahindra thar um sitars mahindras punjabi music yeah that's dwight jocum

oh man i'm i'm on low cylinder energy right now it's like dude okay well you know like of all the drugs i've done you know i'm not proud of obviously but I've never done a drug quite as strong as black tar heroin dude I am willing to go out and say this this dude I'm hearing the country music what is truck made her fall in love. This truck made her fall in love? Yeah, you thought I was lying to you, didn't you? Where's it coming from? Is it somehow? No, there's no way it's coming from that recorder.

This truck made her fall in love. Well, it's kind of a nice little, you know of like elevator music yeah i don't know if it's gonna get picked up on the recording i hope it does you know that's a great message this truck made her fall in love i was you know it's like how do you think i got a girlfriend yeah it's like the great pimp c said she don't like me she wants to fuck my car literally he was talking about the david cronenberg movie he wasn't he wasn't saying she just likes a man that drives nice cars what he was saying was no she actually she she's an autophile something like that it's the it's the cronenberg movie crash yeah um well let's okay to answer this question of what this song is we have to look this truck made her

now we got a new song it's and it's more pronounced dude how the fuck is it picking this up is there something about these headphones or something the microphones are they picking up some radio signal or something how's that even possible like there's no music in here there's no audible music it seems like it's being picked up by something yeah now it's gone now it's gone that's the ghost of joe diffy the song was Tyler Hubbard, 5'9". Damn, that's a bad height to be. What a song. 5'9". Jack makes good whiskey, yeah. Red dirt makes good riding roads.

Country makes good music for kicking up dust in a taillight glow. God makes 5'9 brown eyes in a sundress. Loves Tim McGraw in a small tennis suit. Oh, she's 5'9". She's the one that's five foot nine. Okay. Not him. He's probably five foot five.

He's like, I want to climb that tall tree. That five nine tree. That slightly above average height tree. He, yeah. Tyler Hubbard is probably five foot three. You know, of all the things in life, I'm glad I wasn't like a short guy. I'm not like tall.

I'm average height. I'm average in every way. Well, I was thinking about that earlier this week when, you know, there was some more, another round of penis-sized discourse popped up. Was there? Yeah, and one thing that guys i love one thing guys immediately say myself included when defending small penis body shame yeah well i'm

average but like you have to make sure that you point out that you are that you you are adequate but there are friends of yours that aren't and and you need to be respectful of them. They're still worthy of love. But me? Not me. I'm average. I'm average. Yeah. Average is an amazing cop-out.

It's an amazing neutral position. It's like, you know, I mean, no one would reasonably look at me and say, that's Joe Diffie propping himself up. Well, this guy's no Joe Diffie. But maybe a Tylerler hubbard maybe look at this fucking guy tyler hubbard come on man is that one of the guys from florida georgia line it is it's one half of florida georgia dude okay this is weird you remember chris tomlin chris tomlin he was a christian singer when we were growing up he was like a he was like i can't remember i don't know how to explain it he was like a christian he did like worship music and stuff but it was also he did like singer songwriter

type shit like savage garden type shit okay in the ccm days well i had the christian station on the other day and there was this song it kind of sounded like miley cyrus or something like that and i looked it up it's chris tomlin with florida georgia line florida georgia line is getting in on the christian ccm thing yeah kind of makes sense yeah kind of makes sense i was was perusing Toby Mac's Twitter following. He's got a lot of like, like Jason Isbell follows Toby Mac. Hmm. Like,

so is Isbell down with DC Todd? Dude. I think it's, I think it's this. I think it's the nexus of CCM country music. All is it Nashville, like Nashville's the industry town for both of them. That is 100%.

So they all probably cross paths. Why do you think that is? Why do you think CCM settled in Nashville? Probably the same reason Ben Shapiro and all them were moving there. Or Austin. Where the fuck is everyone? Austin and Nashville are kind of similar, I feel like. Do we need to go?

To Nashville? Should we go? Not for a podcast, just be session musicians. Not for podcasts, just be session musicians. You boys want a guy that can play three notes on three chords on a keyboard? Dude, don't sell yourself short. You can play a woodblock. Yeah, that's what I play.

It's like the episode King of the Hill when Bobby wants to be in the band. He starts blowing the jug. Yeah. I mean, dude. I mean, mean you gotta have those in nashville i um this i got a good ear i'm like rick rubin i just need a while to paint yeah yeah this it that is a decisive shift from how things were when i was a kid when i was a kid christian singers were always trying to break into the mainstream secular world but now you've got mainstream secular singers trying to break into the christian world here's where i think it crossed i think it's when kanye had kirk franklin on his album

you think that was well it might have been even before that but yeah that was definitely a moment where it was like you when we were kids we never thought that i had a dream one time let me tell you what's really weird about that and i swear to god you could ask tyron this i had a dream when i was a kid one time that marilyn manson got saved and then fast forward 22 years later he was he was Kanye Sunday service shit where he was doing like Justin Bieber and Kanye were like praying with Marilyn Manson. I love that you went and told Tyrone that

I haven't dreamed last night. I didn't frame it as I had a vision. Let me just say that. I didn't say I was like a seer. I didn't prophesy. But I did dream that. It's also a hilarious thing for a kid to dream. It's like there's still hope for him.

He'll come around. Maybe, you know, what reminded me of it was the other day when you said that Kevin Max from DC Talks said that he said in a magazine he'd like to hang out with Marilyn Manson. I probably read that somewhere at the time. You probably did. That probably is why I dreamed that. hang out with marilyn manson i probably read that somewhere at the time probably did that probably is why i dreamed that but let's just but who's to say it was not a prophecy though right well i i

wouldn't say he's been saved yet does marilyn manson strike you as the kind of guy that would accept jesus into his heart he constructs for the type of guy that was just trying to save his ass with all that heat about the allegations and everything. Yeah, that's exactly right. So I guess it's not a true conversion, but also I'm not the judge. Arrow, stop. I mean, I'm still amazed that this is picking up music. It's a radio.

98.1 The Bull. Yeah're we're getting radio signals through there the headphones i did not know that was a thing uh but that's an interesting thing because um does that mean it goes both ways does that mean someone's getting our podcast frequency right now? Somebody's in the booth at the Bulls saying, what are these guys? You can't say Joe Diffie's hung on here. Where are you? What is that?

That's true. Are we going out to the airwaves live right now? We're in the Bull, 98.1. Tune in, 98.1, the bull right now. That would be a great premise. Someone's driving in their car, they're listening, they're like, yo, the 98.1, the bull, it's really been going downhill in recent years,

but they had these two guys on there talking about how Joe Diffie had a monster in his pants. More of that program. More of that, please. They call in more of that, please. And then we become local radio stars. We don't have to podcast anymore. That's true.

You've got to tune in 98.1 The Bull. That has always been my dream. Get them clear channel checks, baby. That's exactly, dude, that's what my dream has always been. Like back in the day when I used to listen to... Being easy listening i always wanted to be a dj smoke cigarettes in the booth okay um have someone come in there banging on the window trying to cut me off as i'm describing in detail joiffie every single centimeter. And there are many.

There are many centimeters of it. You talk about hour of power. That would be our hour of power. It's like every minute of this hour we're going to be describing a new centimeter. Joe Diffie's route. Oh, man. that's fucked up john prine died around the same time and no one said that about john prine but here's the i bet prine was hung you think so yeah i bet he was interesting you don't think that just never really got that vibe

like yeah you said that like you've actually i've thought long and hard yeah but just never came out i bet pride was hung like a damn bank meal i don't know i bet he was average no no way he might have been average skewing towards large but told his friends he was average skewing towards small because he was a humble man you want to be yeah well i don't know i don't know if you can have everything in life i don't know if you can have everything in life. I don't know if you can write perfect songs and also have a huge cock. So one or the other. It's true.

You know. It happens, though. I'm still leaning toward prime. Huge. Yeah. Yeah, man. I can see it, I guess. Every once in a while.

Let me tell you something. Every once in a while, there's a 5'9 guy that'll blow your mind. And you'll just be like, I didn't see that. You know what I mean? So 5'9 is tall? Or is that short? You're saying 5'9 is short? No, I mean just like a down-the-middle average height guy.

Yeah. Not particularly short, not particularly tall, and just hung like a 6'6 guy. Yeah. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. Yeah. I went to high school with a guy named Turk

that was like that. Really? He wasn't even 5'9". He was probably 5'6", but he had one like a Hebrew national between his legs. Well, the thing is,

and I fully intend on spending the next 50 minutes talking about roots. Okay. But in high school, you don't really know why that's a big deal. A big deal a big deal you

know yeah you just told that it is but i think i was acutely aware from a young age you knew yeah you knew who told you no i just that's one of those things that's one of those things that you are told i feel like taught yeah you're saying and it's an instinctive thing you're saying that it's a you're born with an innate awareness listen i told myself there's not a cia torture tactic in the book that would get me to admit this alive on the tv or live on the pod i'm sure i'm going to tell you something okay i petitioned god one time for a huge dick. I did. I cried. I did.

I cried. I'll never forget where I was at. I was in my mother's bathroom. You cried out? I cried out to the heavens. I did. I said, Lord, please don't let me be. Please don't let me be. I forget what it was.

You can imagine God clocking in at like 9 13 a.m he's like still a little hungover he's going through his mail inbox like someone wants a new car someone wants a a spouse somebody wants to be healed of cancer cancer, cancer. Botulism. What? Hey, come over here. Azirith or something? That's like an angel's name. Let's just go Gabriel. We know he's real.

All right, all right. Well, the angels always had weird names. There was Gabriel. He was the most normal angel. but the other ones were named like zazeroth and shit like that there was z's and a's yeah that's true i mean i guess i mean the bible doesn't really specify much about you might also be confusing that the bible with the necronomicon from the evil dead but but yeah your point your two uh formative texts. Those were the two books we had in our house.

Those were the only two. We had the Book of the Dead and we had the Bible. No in-between. Yeah, yeah. I mean, how else are you supposed to get places? I mean, that's how I got places growing up. We recited a text from the Book of the Dead. A hole opened up in our floor.

We went in it. And that's how we went to the grocery store. Oh. We're still getting it, though. Maybe we're the antennas. Maybe it's my mercury feelings. Maybe it's your mercury feelings. You know what I'm saying?

We're picking up. And by holding these microphones, we're putting it into the recorder. This has never happened in all the times we've recorded over here. Yeah. We've recorded some classics over here. This is where Devil's Milkshake was formed. Yeah, this must be a day that the frequencies are strong.

On all ends. On all fronts. Yeah. I can't think of any other explanation for it i'm going back to defy well i mean you wouldn't talk about a guy that could pick up a a radio signal with a real antenna on there uh where i was going a minute ago is uh there is no there is no um drug on earth that is more powerful and more sedating like jordan peterson's fucking up you know fucking with his um like xanax and stuff there is nothing on the earth more powerful than eating like 300 milligrams of sugar and a fried burrito in the cafeteria

of Hobbes High School and then going to social studies and then falling asleep in class. You know what I'm saying? And then when you wake up, you know what I'm talking about? Like when you would fall asleep in class. You know what I'm saying? And then when you wake up, you know what I'm talking about? I know the haze. When you would fall asleep in class and you would wake up and your whole fucking body would feel like syrup.

Yeah. You would feel completely like you... Gelatinous. I know what you mean. Why do we not feel that anymore? Is that because we just don't eat as much sugar as we did when we were teenagers? That's probably part of it. I think the other part of it is I kind of do sometimes.

I had a weird nap. You ever have a weird nap? I try not to take naps because naps for me are rolls of the dice. That's the radio station too. That sounds like Cademan's call every time your phone goes off i think it's cademan's call oh lord i see your face turn it back on i'm gonna sing to it oh lord i see your face Oh, Lord, I see your face. Oh, Lord, I see your face.

Oh, man. It's like, how much of your teenage years were spent feeling like absolute shit? Because you ate way worse back then than you do now. Well, my problem is I basically, except for a couple of stretches at a time, have eaten the same. And I have felt like dirt, even into middle age. See, this is more like mud, the sensation I'm describing. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, it's more like mud that's been mashed, that's had manure mashed into it i know that's fine and molasses

as well like mud with molasses and manure yeah mud molasses manure the big the three m's like that's what you feel like when you wake up in a from a nap from a sugar coma induced nap oh yeah in fourth um what did they call those like what did they call those fourth period you know in class you'd have like first period second period yeah period we had like 16 periods i think we had seven i'm just kidding we had seven what if we had like 37 periods? You go to one class for five minutes. That wouldn't be tough. This is Terrence's educational reforms. And that's another good way to avoid school shootings

because if you're constantly moving, it's your one class to the next. Yeah, that's true. It's harder to plan for that. Yeah, 43 periods. You spend three minutes in each one. It's like HIIT training for academics. It's like, hey, you can get your workout done in just seven minutes a day.

Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah. I'll sign up for that. I'll go extra hard for i think that's a good smaller period of time um i was reading that um speaking of childhood i was reading that andrew tate thing in buzzfeed about his childhood did you read that i didn't but what's any any takeaways there's nothing in it that's like i mean you don't really need no you don't need an advanced degree in Freudian psychoanalytics to know.

What was his father's situation like? It was not great. Yeah, that's what I figured. His father taught him how to play chess and fight. See, I'm not buying that. His father taught him how to play chess and fight. You don't i'm not buying that his daughter his father told him how to play chess and fight you don't get both of those you get unless you're like jizza from wu-tang clan my i wanted to play chess but my dad was trying to teach me how to fight you know okay it's like son

quit being a loser come over let me show you a few things. No, seriously. Yeah. Like he would like fucking to, he would like take me out at the knees and like pin me to the ground and be like, fight back. I'm like, I just want to fucking play chess. No, no. I just want to play chess. And here's the thing. I didn't learn either. I didn't learn how to fight or play chess.

That's how I was stunted in my development damn man but what i'm saying is that you own your father either teaches you chess or fighting not both yeah no you can't you can't have it all again going back to the primes maxim i'll just read this as a five-year-old andrew once said he asked his father for a dark light because he was scared of the dark he took my ass up to my bedroom locked me in the bedroom in the dark he said there's monsters in there son good luck see you tomorrow i mean uh do you think that's real because like he i feel like he a notorious liar. He also talks weird as fuck. Yeah, I just, I don't know what to make of that guy.

I think, it says dad locked him in a room so there's monsters in there. Good luck. Yeah, that's not even that bad. My dad threw a baseball at my face so I stopped being scared of the ball. And that's, what I'm saying is that's a life lesson that has paid off i'm no longer afraid of the baseball you could come up to me walking down the streets throw a baseball i'm gonna take it in the face because i'm not scared of it let everybody just i'll just challenge you man next time you see terrence throw a baseball at his face and let's see how true this

is i had the opposite experience i i'm like hypervigilant because I took one right up the middle. I was pitching in Little League, took one right up the middle and busted my two front teeth out. Dude, that's happened to me too. Also, the very first time I ever got punched in the face was at a baseball game. Oh, God. I don't remember what happened.

I still to this day don't remember what happened. I wish I could find the kid and ask him why he punched me in the face. I thought you were going to do it. I wish I could find that son of ask him why he punched me in the face. I thought you were going to do it. I wish I could find that son of a bitch and make that right. Yeah. Okay. I wish I could find him

and just ask him why he did that. I remember I was wearing glasses and he fucking punched me in the fucking nose. That's, hey listen, horrible optics. Yeah, it is. In the 90s, I mean, the punchline of every fucking Teenage Mutant teenager engine you would hit a man in glasses that's true man and then the guy just hits the man in glasses who would hit a guy in glasses that's how you knew that guy that guy's probably

a psychopath right now he's probably the long island state killer could be he's probably rolling out he's probably still there ain't guys running around New Mexico with some outstanding warrants for serial murder. Serial murder. Yeah. I mean, playing the knockout game. Just fucking hitting dudes with glasses. I saw a video of the knockout game the other day. Really?

It's still going on. Yeah. It was this kid break dancing on the corner. He had a guy playing from the beat box or whatever. And he was like dancing to, I can't remember what it was, maybe they made the song up. I think I saw this game. And some guy pulls up,

jumps out of the car, runs up behind this 15-year-old kid and just knocks him the fuck out. I saw that. And he got seven years in prison for it. I saw that. It's a little too much for the knockout game. I'll be honest with you,

15-year-olds are annoying. You should have gave him, I'd give him nine months. You can't be doing that But like come on See I feel the same way about prison than I do about school We should Under my reform package

You get You can have up to like a hundred thousand Life sentences but a life sentence Equals like five minutes Five minutes You say listen I'm going to give you Fifty second consecutive life sentences of the eyebrow mite, which lives like three days.

Yes. Of a fly larva. That's how, listen, this is how we bring the criminal justice system to its knees. You, that would be amazing. Mandatory life sentence. Nobody said what kind of life you're in the court yeah mr what was that guy in south carolina alexis murdoch mr murdoch i sentence you to three consecutive life sentences of the house common cockroach everyone's like well no

the cockroach would be the worst sentence oh did they live forever well even after nuclear fallout and everything like that would be the worst okay like what's a bug that lives three days probably like uh i don't know like a fruit fly or something okay yeah of the tt fly, a bog knit or something like that. Something that's, you know. Yeah. And the whole fucking courtroom erupts. They're like, oh, judge.

That's a good one. They're like, but seriously, you're going to serve 43 days for these seven murders. And then you just hit the gavel. Did you pay attention to that case at all? The Murdoch thing? Man, I said this on Twitter, but it's true. I didn't know anything about that.

When I first saw it on TV, I said, they got Eric C. Kahn back in court, I said. He does look a lot like they look a lot like they look very similar so i don't know i don't really know anything about what did he do okay let me see if i can piece this together from my memory um was it some sort of uh like uh medicare scam or something like that i think kind of what his law practice was oh no no no what is this the guy that took out the life insurance policies yeah and then like killed well so what had happened was if i see if i remember something like that what had happened was his son it all it all blew

up because his son one of he had two sons one of them took out the family boat on a lake in South Carolina. I knew there was a boat involved. Yeah. And he wrecked the boat and killed three people. Okay. The children of other really rich people. You're just going to be honest with me. It's just summertime in the South.

You're going to have some rich asshole that kills a friend of his either on some sort of motorcycle yes or a boat or something dude i know i mean because i always had friends like that i had friends that like have lake houses and i would like go with them to their lake houses and i would just be blowing the fuck away because like it would be like the hobbs rich diaspora at this like lake community like all the richest people and hobbs would be like the Hobbes rich diaspora at this like lake community. Like all the richest people in Hobbes would be here just fucking doing blow and smoking weed and just getting shit faced and riding boats. I was like, wow, it's a whole other world.

And, uh, and there's like very little supervision of like the teenagers. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, like everybody, everybody in growing up in the South has, like, been on a lake where somebody gets, like, a concussed bloody head wound from, like, jumping and hitting their head on, like, a dock or a rock or something like that. Right, right, right. Sometimes those people just stay there and party with that, like, bleeding head wound. It's like, man, you really should seek attention for that it's usually because like those teenagers are like allowed to drink their parents booze and

their parents don't give a shit yeah you know yeah the gnarliest thing i saw one time was a guy diving in and catching his front shin on the platform and it just ripped down to the bone and so like he gets out and like you just see muscles palpitating squirting blood everywhere and he goes is it bad and i'm like all i can do not to pass looks good gary looks good just walk it off yeah my god he had to have his had to take some meat from his ass and fill it in. They had to take ass meat? Yeah, he had to get grafted. Man, that sucks because I don't think I would make that bargain.

I need as much ass meat as I can get. I can't spare any ass meat. No, I'd be cooked. I mean, like... I'd be cooked. Yeah, I would say just leave it, fellas. Doc, you're going to have to take that ass meat from someone else. In fairness, Mike had a big juicy ass, so he had something to spare.

Shoe on the other foot, that'd be it for me. I'd say, no, I think I'll just do the cool blood. I'd just walk around like this all the time. My shin just in the air that would be cool you know oh god dude i gotta get it out of my mind okay well in this boat okay so i don't think okay now that i said that the other victims were rich kids. That's how I thought when you said in this boat. I was like, what if we did skid and rink on a pontoon? Instead of like you're a kid, you're like a teenager.

In this boat. In this boat. And then it just keeps repeating that. You're like, what the? And then it just keeps repeating that. You're like, what the? There's a 17-year-old who drank on a deer 23 bush lights. And then all of a sudden it gets turned upside down.

Yeah. And all your friends from high school that died in drunk driving accidents, they just pop up. They pop up. And you're like, whoa. Dude, I had some friends like that. I think about them a lot. I do, too.

I have a lot of friends that I've drug overdoses or colorects or something like that. I think about them a lot. Four-wheeler stuff. They're probably looking down on us right now. They might be responsible for us getting the bull, 98.1, the bull in right now. Could be true. they might be responsible for us getting the bull 98.1 the bull entering right now true and also just man it's like my life i my sacrifice was given these fuckers content why me lord that's what you have to ask why me i think okay the murdoch kid i think that he uh

i don't i i misspoke a second ago I think I don't think that all the other kids on the boat and I think that there was like two or three people that died or some of them may have gotten seriously gravely injured there was some like maybe working class kids on there because again you know you probably know this game but like if you are growing up in a town like the towns we grew up in what you always want to do is befriend the rich kids that their parents medicine cabinets always had crazy shit in it they always let you drink they you always got to eat way better food at their place usually their houses had two stories where i come from if you were poor you didn't have two stories usually they had a pool in their yard dude they

had amenities that you didn't have you know what i'm saying that's why you you were like you had to develop social skills and social graces yeah to like ingratiate yourself with people who would probably kill you in a boat accident and then walk away it acts like nothing to happen oh yeah dude uh listen you go to like sleepovers with at those type of places man it's yeah oh yeah you get shabby treatment let me tell you yeah um they always had better especially when you pee the bed yeah yeah they also had better snacks too you know what i mean their snack drawer would be fucking crazy no uh that's true um anyways all of which is to say this kid wrecked this boat, okay? And it set into motion several different things. This guy Murdaugh was like a part of a law dynasty,

like part of a family dynasty in South Carolina. And so like his grandpa like, you know, bucked up and was like, no, it's not this kid's fault. Like we're going to defend him and all this. And I guess in the process of all this, the dad was, like, seriously hooked on Oxycontin. I think he was taking a lot of pills. Yeah, that happens.

If he had just taken my advice and just eaten, like I said, 800 milligrams of sugar and taken a nap in social studies, you could get about the same effect. You don't have to hit foilies of Oxycontin. No, you don't have to bang 80s between your toes and cook down with toilet bowl water.

Yeah, you can get the same effect. He didn't know that. He did not listen to this program. Yeah. So he had a bad he had a bad uh habit and he also like i think he was he claimed that he was like trying to like look out for his son the one that got in the boat accident and so he like took an insurance policy out on like his wife and himself and so he i did i'm missing some crucial steps i don't remember how we got to this barn in the middle of nowhere

but he like took his wife and son out there his other son and killed them i mean i have to say i mean i i was surprised that they found him guilty of this because i kind of thought the evidence was a little bit shaky but he apparently he's indicted by a court as having done this so okay uh he apparently took them out and killed them and then called 9-1-1 and acted like he had just found them like that and you can hear the 9-1-1 call like i listened to it because i'm a sick fuck i'm a sick bastard i like to hear that kind of shit what did they say he was like oh my god oh god he's like that kind of sailing it but like not at all so yeah it did sound a little bit fishy um and uh and then

like a couple weeks later he hired some guy to take him out onto, like, a dirt road in the middle of nowhere and, and shoot him and execute him. Murdoch. Uh, but the guy, like, fucked it up. He, like, he, he, um, he totally screwed it. Botched the. Botched it. Man, listen, if you pay a good man money, good money to kill you. You gotta make sure he's gonna screwed it. Botched it. He botched it. Man, listen, if you pay a good man good money to kill you...

You've got to make sure he's going to do it. Please just do it. And also, it's not that hard to just make it right real quick. Yeah, yeah. So the guy botched it. Why he wanted to die is unclear. Probably because he felt guilty over probably killing us. Why he wanted to die is unclear. i i could even hazard a guess that this is okay there are fucking dozens and dozens of

true crime podcasts out there about this case that have been going on for years before this even came to trial so like the fact that I'm even trying to describe it here in this piss-poor post-Sugarcoff forum is kind of embarrassing. But that's the general, those are the broad strokes. Okay. So this guy has to stand trial. Like, what happened to him after the botched attempt?

has to stand trial like what happened to him after the botched attempt uh he like he got a little bit of an a bruise on his head like an ouchie he got a boo-boo he got a boo-boo you pay a man to kill you and he gives you a boo-boo jesus you can't get a good hitman these days can you can't that's the thing like if you want a good hitman you you're going to have to go to, like, Ukraine or something. Well, man, now that Victor, the Merchant of Death, is out, I'm sure that's going to change. Who's that? Who's the Victor Merchant of Death? You know, the guy that Biden traded for Brittany Griner. We traded a Merchant of Death for Brittany Griner?

Yeah, we traded a Russian arms dealer called Victor, I think it's Victor Booth. What? Victor Booth. Something like that's Victor Booth. What? Victor Booth. Something like that. I forget what his name was. His name was... We traded an arms dealer named Victor Boot. Victor Booth.

Yeah, I think that's it. It might have been. But anyway, this guy's nickname was the Merchant of Death. What? And we traded the Merchant of Death for Brittany Griner. I mean, it's probably a fair trade. Brittany Griner seems pretty chill, honestly. No, no, no. I'm not saying that's a bad thing i'm not saying that i just think it's pretty funny it is

a funny trade it's like do we not have any russian athletes in our prisons that we can give to them you don't have anybody like called the like the the omaha strangler over there and petrograd or anything? No? Yeah. Yeah, I mean. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. We should give somebody, like we've had locked up from the 80s, or the 92 Atlanta games or something like that.

Yeah, yeah. For Brittney Grinder. And we should have, you know. I'm just saying, athlete for athlete. Yeah. War criminal for have, you know, I'm just saying athlete for athlete. Yeah. War criminals for war criminals. You're right. It is a weird,

it is a weird disjunction. Yeah. Yeah. Because if I was Brittany Griner, I would be asked, that would probably give me an identity crisis. I'd be like,

is this motherfucker Biden comparing me to the merchant yeah that's really any time that you're the merchant of something it's got man that's the merchant of venice the merchant of death yeah now you're being anti-semitic yeah is that was it merchant of venice anti-semitic if i hadn't fallen asleep in the english 37th period class i just know that shakespeare had some anti-semitic things going on there see you know i think he did i think he did and that merchant event where the the concept of pound of flesh comes from i think so yeah once again though i couldn't um

of the pound of flesh comes from i think so yeah once again though i couldn't um is i tried to because like after high school i had shakespeare's collected works and i tried to read it to seem smart and i'd get like three lines in and it's like doth hath the sun peek through the slanted window and that kind of stuff you know what i mean the warped glass in my in mine own eye in mine own eye yeah what the fuck is this one of the funniest things people always say is that the appalachian english is the english shakespeare spoke like i had people i'll never forget i was in high school english class and there was a guy in there fixing the uh ac yeah and uh they were teaching shakespeare and this guy comes down like out of the ceiling and he says if somebody had said something something about the way we talk or something, how they were trying to lose their accent,

and this guy comes down out of the ceiling covered in grease and with some tools and says, listen, he says. He's probably covered in asbestos. Covered in asbestos. Listen, son, he said, we speak the English Shakespeare spoke. And he's standing on the teacher's desk with all this gunk on his boots and stuff. What? Yeah, it ruled.

Just crawling out of the ceiling. Just to teach this kid a lesson and being proud of where you're from. And that's what I think we need in education reforms. forms we need micro classes with uh you know leathered men climbing out of the ceiling titles tiles like he was working on the ventilation system he'd heard something that he just could not abide he came down out of there and then the funny thing about it is after his teachable moment he's gonna hoist himself back up into the ceiling. Oh, shit. I did have Rebecca Coleman's class.

I always loved that. All right, folks. That was your lesson for the night. Oh, man. Pulled himself back up in there. oh man oh man i was trying to think of other merchants like merchants of are there merchants of happiness could you a merchant of joy would that be a positive or negative? I guess you could be. Yeah, merchant of death suggests the existence of merchant of life. Yes. I guess me and I both know who that is. Joe Diffie?

I was going to say Jesus Christ. Okay. But sure. Okay, J.C., J.D. Yeah. But it's like merchant of, I wonder if there's a badass motherfucking teacher out there. Everyone knows him on high school campus. That's the merchant of I wonder if there's a badass Motherfucking teacher out there Everyone knows him on high school campus That's the merchant of learning

Like don't fuck with him That's the merchant of history Do not fuck with him Yeah What was the guy that came out of the sea That he'd be the merchant of um what it's like the merchant of life lessons he said listen he has a point because i do think that there's a

well okay the thing with shakespeare it's like you always have to interpret what the fuck it is that's why i hated reading it because like it's never immediately clear what anyone is saying like they'll be taught they'll be express expressing like a simple life emotion or feeling or something like that like jealousy or heartache or despair but it'll have the fucking craziest like circuitous way of explaining it like the sparrow doth flow into the stomach of the uh dirt pile or something like that you know what i'm saying like it would just you would have to really work hard. And I don't like working hard when I'm reading.

Or at any time for that matter. Or at any time for that matter. Neither did that guy that came out of the ceiling. He was like. I could take five. Teach these boys about hillbilly pro. I love that, dude. I fucking love that.

If you're a teacher too that's an amazing opportunity to uh just step back and let life teach here's the stranger though about all that that happened the day before 9-11 saw him maybe he wasn't the merchant maybe he was the oracle you know the harbinger yeah yeah he wasn't a merchant he was a harbinger yeah yeah yeah this is the thing though like i think that if you're a teacher, the best teacher in life is life itself. You know what I'm saying? That's so true.

So it's like you've got to take those opportunities when they come. I'm thinking I'm going to be that kind of guy. What if that guy botched it? He was crawling out and slipped, and he's hanging by his utility belt. slipped and he's like hanging by his utility belt he may have he may have poked his head out first i can't remember exactly but i mean did he descend like tom cruise in mission impossible it was like that i swear it was like that and the thing is the thing is repels down well here's what was so crazy about it it was one of those you know those ceilings with just like the little tiles up at the little foam tiles yeah yeah

very i don't know how he didn't fall through that because those things they're on these like metal slats that are so thin how he pulled himself out maybe it was well in school you used to daydream about those you know because i used to daydream about those all the time yeah i'd be like how can i get up there and walk around up there how can i get trapped up there with my crush in a way that she has to us to a situation how could i put myself in the best best position to get an hj like you will you know those are the kind of you just you just but a young man spends a lot of time thinking about how he can get to second base i'm saying

yeah you you have a lot of envelope yeah you have a lot of fantas thinking about how he can get to second base i'm saying yeah you you have a lot of envelope yeah you have a lot of fantasies like that you're like what if a school shooter came in here and shot like 13 people and we were in a closet together that's called imagination people yeah if you try to me, I dare you to come up with anything. Kids these days aren't having those kinds of fantasies. Kids these days are like, I'm going to do TikTok. Total idiots like Socrates was. Socrates was alive today.

He would be completely moronical doing TikToks. They're not thinking 12 steps ahead like we were yeah you know that's a hilarious thing how can i how can i climb up in the heating ducks and get a handjob from my crush it's an absurd thing to be thinking even by your standard look okay it wasn't easy it was not easy for me so you know when things aren't easy that's when you resort to fantasy that's true that's what the imagination is for that's what the brilliant human mind is for yeah retreating retreating from the world mostly just retreating exactly amazing wow this is like a school heavy episode a lot of imagery from schools classrooms i've been i've i've been in a a weird depression for the last couple of days and been thinking a lot about those times.

And I never think about those times, and I don't know why I'm even thinking about those times. It's such a trivial time in my life in the grand scheme of things. It is. At the time, you think it's fucking insane. Yeah. You think it's everything, man. Yeah.

You know, sometimes I wish I would have lived a life that it was everything. I wish I was still... You wish you would have lived a life that it was everything. I wish I was still... You wish you would have been one of those guys that looks at that as the good old days. Yeah. That's the thing. I wish I would have peaked in high school instead of peaking in my early 30s, which is what actually happened. Which instead of peaking now, which is exactly what's happening in real time

yes like i i feel the downward slope gravity pulling me towards the earth so but i will i wish i would have peaked at 18 because then i would have had a a much more realistic grasp on life those guys they know the secrets of life they know the secret which is that a 18 18 year old virile young man knows everything about the world has the ultimate knowledge and everything but a rim job i know about everything that's exactly right that is so fun that is exactly right i get to see him this week good to see my brother and i'm going to fucking razz him for the time he told me he knew everything there is to know about girls except for a rim job which it's funny that he had heard of it and just didn't know what it was about what it was

yeah well i think that's why he said that i let this has been a an item of dispute between me and my brother for my other brother for many years why he said that i think it's because he wanted us to tell him what a rim job was see what i'm saying he was trying to be like he was trying to be like yeah i know everything there is to know about girls except for a rim job and then like he was kind of snuck that in he was like but there was a dot dot dot at the end of that line. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys going to fucking tell me what a rim job is? Which, at that time, I could have told him, just based off of my own fantasies, though, because I'd never experienced a rim job by that point.

So, you know what I mean? I hadn't been trapped in the HVAC. What if you go to school in your mid-30s and there's a guy like it was just uh you know the guy that told us about shakespeare is like mario but there's a there's a universe where wario comes out wario comes out and tells you about i'll tell you what a rim job is that could have gone so south yeah like a guy pops out of your ceiling in a classroom they're lucky you're lucky he was talking about shakespeare because he could have come out saying some crazy shit i mean sally hubbard sex ed class yeah maybe a different story or he could

have come out saying some cryptic shit just being like this time tomorrow building seven will building seven will fall you guys will be like what the fuck is he talking about he's just like in a in a daze and then he just comes there's like boys i don't know where that came from but oh it's best i've been all i know is i'm gonna go fill up all these all these empty containers full of gasoline tonight oh man not for nothing if you got American Airlines stock, sell it off. I remember I got a haircut on 9-11, on the afternoon of 9-11. Wait, how?

Well, I had a haircut scheduled. And they still did it. What'd you talk about? They talked about 9-11 we talked about the terrorists and the oil and the you know the middle east and everything well the tech lies they they cited the heritage foundation and they said you know they talked about you know yeah well david from saying that yeah Is that right? Yeah, it's like David Frum. David Frum had an article in The Atlantic about the Iraq War this week

that he was getting raked over the coals for. He's saying he did a boo-boo? No, I think he said we made... I think he did the same shit he always does, which was that we made mistakes. We made mistakes. I don't know. I don't have my computer with me right now.

My computer's got the plug-in that allows me around paywalls, so I don't have that on my phone. Would have been great if those guys hadn't heard about it yet. Heard about what? I don't know. Which guys? Like, if you would have broke the news those guys hadn't heard about it yet. Heard about what? I don't know. Which guys? Like, if you would have broke the news to your barber. Oh, to the barber. Yeah.

You just walk in there whistling. Yeah. Maybe I did. I don't remember. All I remember, the only reason I remember that is because I remember coming back from it and all of the gas stations being fucking full fool yeah because i just got my hair cut and i was looking fresh and i was like man i don't give a fuck about i don't give a fuck about 9-11 all i give a fuck about is a room job you were ready to go fight i

was ready to go fight god not for freedom. And not terrorists. Just because I had a bitch and new dude. Exactly. I looked fresh as fuck. Yeah. I need to go fight somebody. I got my ears long. Time to go kick somebody's ass.

I don't give a fuck. It's like you and the guy that bowled a 300 on 9-11 that's still the funniest thing I've ever heard man I can't read this fucking thing actually I think you can read the Atlantic articles with the 12 foot wall thing the 12 foot ladder thing have they figured out a way around it? yeah dude I mean you can't

hold me back i'm gonna i'm the merchant of paywalls i'm gonna get over that oh i'm gonna go over that wall i'm gonna get over that fucking wall the iraq war can reconsidered the u.s-led invasion was a grave and costly error but 20 years on another assessment is possible another assessment is possible another assessment is possible that's interesting what's that some stuff we got right some stuff we got wrong is that where he's going with yeah i like the turn of phrase because it's like generally like another world is possible you hear that phrase but another assessment is possible you're gonna tell that to your doctor when he tells you to give you some bad news david from your dick is the tiny that's the smallest i've ever seen well i think another assessment is possible

david you have six months to live well it says you no you're really riddled with this incurable... Yeah, well, that's one man's opinion. I'm saying another assessment's possible. The country music stopped like 20 minutes ago, I feel like. Right? I haven't heard it. The effort gave up on us. Yeah, I haven't heard it in a while.

So I'm going to turn it over to Willie's Roadhouse. I hope that doesn't turn off listeners. I hope they don't turn this on and say, motherfucker, I hate the fucking bull. They didn't give me free tickets to the Berks and Dunn in 2003. I hate 98.1 the bull. 20 years ago, the United States went to war in Iraq to destroy Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction. I thought there weren't any. I thought, well, let's just start with the

consensus on this, Dave, is that they never found those. They never found those. Except for an arsenal of chemical warfare shells and warheads, those weapons weren't there. Well, okay. Okay. Saddam had shut down his efforts to build a nuclear bomb, as well as his biological

warfare program. I like that. I like that Saddam knew when to fold. He was like, boys, let's be real. We're never gonna get a nuclear weapon in biological warfare. Well, we ain't got a damn biologist in this fucking place. Cradle of civilization

and look at them. Instead, he thwarted and resisted international weapons inspectors in order to bluff the world into believing that he still possessed capabilities for mass killing i also respect that it's like boys we will never build a nuclear bomb but we're sure shit gonna make the world think we did yeah that's like timbo reed old friend of mine never saw him fight but i also never saw a 5-4 man strike fear in the hearts like he did

so i think it was just the presumption that he was yeah you know yeah yeah that's what you want in life you want to give off that that vibe saddam's best hidden secret was his at least temporary weakness the u.s went to war to build a democracy in iraq that did not work well either iraq does have elections but the governments produced by those elections have been frail unstable and corrupt the most recent elections were held in october 2021 it took a year of wrangling afterward to form iraq's president admin the u.s hoped the regime change in iraq would build bring stability to the arab middle east instead iraq plunged into civil war no nobody could have saw that come no libya and syria soon followed no also to the events we had no role in whatsoever

a gruesome ultra-radical caliphate seized territory and revenue from both iraq and syria millions of refugees headed toward europe upending the politics of that continent. The war transformed U.S. politics, too. The presidential hopes of Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush numbered among the casualties of Iraq. What? The presidential hopes of Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush were casualties of Iraq?

You got a million dead. I mean, this is is often quoted stat and tantamount to those that genocide you're going to throw in the hopes the presidential hopes of hillary clinton and jeb um okay is that another reason why that he needs to seek another assessment? He needs another assessment if possible. Donald Trump reinvented himself as an after-the-fact opponent of the Iraq War, and that repositioning helped him into power in 2016. Saddest of all, the war took a grim toll on the people of Iraq and the armed forces of the U.S. and its coalition partners.

What coalition partners? There were like three. Weren't there like six troops from France? They were like, these we will give you yeah there was tony blair he was all in yeah that true you're right the british did send troops more than 4 000 u.s and coalition troops were killed thousands were gravely injured wounded blah, blah. Had Americans known that all this lay ahead? Who would have supported the war back in 2003? Dave, it's like, I'm Americans. Shortly before his death.

Dude, even me, eighth grade Terrence, shouty looking fresh because I just got my hair cut. Even I knew that I was even telling my barbers that probably. I was like, guys, I don't think, I don't know.

I don't know about this war. I'll be there forever. Have you ever looked at the board of directors of Halliburton? Shortly before his death, the late Senator John McCain wrote a final assessment of the war he had supported so strongly at the board of directors of halliburton shortly before his death the late senator john mccain wrote a final assessment of the war he had supported so strongly at the time the war with its costs and lives and treasure and security treasure treasure is that uh was there treasure

i think that's why we went because they thought we're treasure treasure he's just like i can't i'm on my death bed why even pretend why even pretend we thought we would find gold balloons yeah originally guys we imagined this was more of a scavenger hunt turned into a decades-long gruesome conflict um i have to accept my share of the blame for it um that's what john mccain said oh but from no from would never say that well he did say i supported the war as well as a speechwriter in the george bush administration and then afterward as a writer and speaker i believe the intelligence that iraq was generating was attempting to reconstitute its embryonic nuclear program as it had done after Israel destroyed its Osirak reactor in 1981.

I heard that word a lot growing up. Osirak? Osirak reactor? It's a good name. It's a strong name for a nuclear reactor. If you're going to name your nuclear reactor or anything, call it Osirak or Osirak. Like Osiris, but belonging to or of osiris um yeah i guess so yeah

yeah o-s-i-r-a-k i was horrified too by saddam's cruelties against his own people and his aggressions against his neighbors uh didn't we fucking give saddam money and you know material military equipment to fight the war against iran in the 80s we fucking yeah that's how it came to power we funded his ass we fucking we we sponsored saddam's cruelties against his own people and his aggressions against his neighbors i shared the broad bipartisan post-911 consensus that the U.S. must act more preemptively against organizations and states that use terrorism as a tool, as Saddam's Iraq had undoubtedly done in the past.

Okay, dude, yeah, it is 2003. Maybe that's why I've got fucking high school classes on the brain right now. Because it was 20 years ago this very month that the war in iraq kicked off kicked off yeah can i tell you where i was at when the war kicked off yeah where were you i had a five disc changer in my bedroom and my sister those were dope my sister was in the hospital getting gallstones taken out. My mom was up there with her, so we had the house to myself.

Me and my friend Steve just came back from Sam Goody. I'd purchased the autobiography DMX, co-written by Smokey D. Fontaine. We had two girls there with us. Girl Samantha, he was dating, and her friend Andrea. Did you say you want to come over to the hvac with me just me and you no i took her back to my bedroom i treated her like a gentleman uh and on that five disc changer i had uh char uh r kelly's chocolate I had R. Kelly's Chocolate Factory and Happy People's, a two-discer. And then I had Tyleb Quali's Quality. See, for those of you who don't know, dude, that fuck, I burned the shit out of Tyleb Quali's Quality. Yeah.

Just to get high, just to get high. Well, Andrew put a ring of hickeys around my neck while that... ring of hickeys around my neck while while that boom boom boom that song came on and uh then my mom was told me she was coming home so i was like oh we gotta we gotta we gotta go we gotta go so i didn't really have a good excuse for i had a ring of bruises around my neck but then i the iraq war mom yeah it's the iraq war yeah this is the this is what it's done to me yeah this is the fog of war mom i turned the tv on i said damn we're going in you were watching well then you know then it's like you know how they they fucking gassed us up for two years on that well yeah they played just constant footage of like the you know you remember like the night time um you know like the night vision footage

they would play yeah of like fucking baghdad just getting blown to smithereens oh yeah yeah they did that in the first goal for two yeah i don't remember that one as well i remember that to some degree i was really young but yeah it was i was terrified of saddam hussein yeah i was like i mean i was a total dumbass but like i was convinced there was going to be an iraqi scud missile come through my bedroom window i mean i thought that's how i thought that he had one with my name on it. Tom Jackson! That's what I thought.

That's what I thought. We were told that. Yeah, you're right. That's really sad. It's really, really fucked up. Under Saddam, there seemed little to zero hope for positive change from inside Iraq, in contrast to its neighbor, Iran, where the best bet that seemed to me

and still does to be non-military support for Iranian dissidents, liberals, feminists, and Democrats. In the judgment I made on Iraq, I dangerously overestimated the prospects for foreign intervention to build a stable and decent replacement regime. Those are my explanations to the extent that anyone cares about them.

No. Yeah. Yeah, we're good on that, though i love that those are my explanations to the extent that anyone cares about them like he's gonna he knows he's washed a little bit that man that line is like yeah anybody cares yeah as we make our appraisals at the 20-year mark we need to reconsider another assessment where would the united states iraq and the region be today if the u.s had left saddam in place in 2003 what are you talking about probably much better i mean i don't know like saddam hussein didn't sound like the best guy what if what if what if saddam hussein would have pulled the the, you know how like at a certain point,

Gaddafi kind of like capitulated and kind of played ball to try to improve his international image or whatever. Yeah. You know, which was like, I kind of liked him when he was just kind of, you know. Rogue. Well, I liked him kind of when he like didn't have anything but a leaky barrel mustard gas, but he was like, no, I'll destroy. I'll destroy every grain of sand from here to the seven seas or whatever, you know. Like, he was like the bad dude of the late 80s, you know.

Yeah. I liked when he was playing that image up a little bit rather than reframing himself as a guy that went straight. Yeah, yeah, I agree. I have respect for that. We should have told you something about everything that they said on TV about Gaddafi. Because let me tell you something. If he was really responsible for the Lockerbie bombing,

they would have killed his ass a long time ago. Oh, yeah. 1,000%. They had to have him as the bogeyman. oh yeah one thousand they had to have him as like the bogeyman you know yeah just like they had to have saddam hussein i mean you think saddam you think there is a universe where saddam would have had like a face turn yeah because he had a hill turn because he was literally like i said we held him up in the 80s. Yeah. You know, we gave them fucking all kinds of military equipment, resources, money to fight Iran.

Yeah. And then he was a bad guy in the 90s. Yeah. Okay, David, if we would have just left him in place, he probably would have come back around to being another fucking hero. Just because it's all fucking a game. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's all like... game you know what i'm saying it's all like is there a universe i mean i'm in again not to let saddam off the hook for his brutality or anything like that but like do you think there is a universe where in this sick fucking game of whatever like he wins a nobel prize in like 2013 for like probably you know what i mean like that's like really that's the margin for like everybody in like global politics uh-huh you know what i mean like that's like really that's the margin for like everybody in like global politics uh-huh you know what i mean like all you have to do is ingratiate yourself to the empire or whatever yeah you know you're right david writes had saddam remained in power beyond 2003 he would have recovered his former oil wealth and with that wealth his ability

to harm his subjects and his neighbors. We can only guess how the Saddam Hussein story would have ended, but what happened next door in Syria is a clue. There, too, a family dynasty like the one Saddam was building ruled by terror. As in Iraq, the Syrian regime enriched a religious minority and subordinated the local religious majority. The result was to add a ferocious sectarian hatred to a revolt against tyranny but shah al-assad's regime has survived of course its russian allies committed terrible atrocities bombing and massacring syrian civilians assad himself used poison gas as a weapon as saddam has done against kurds in the 1980s yeah who who uh who basically walks the kurds into that situation i don't know fucking us it's like it's like how many fucking times i mean it it is so as a tangent it is so fucking just disgusting

how these ghouls always use the kurds as like this you know football football when they have never done shit for them. I don't know. Left them high and dry numerous times, be massacred and everything. Yeah. Opponents of the George W. Bush administration often contrasted the supposedly bad war in Iraq to the good war in Afghanistan.

Well, not me. I thought they were both fucked up. Go talk to my barber. Go talk to my barber. Go find his ass. I told him that day. Well, this both fucked up. Go talk to my barber. Go talk to my barber. Go find his ass. I told him that day. Well, this is fucked up. Yet the good war ended in utter defeat.

The Taliban. So did the fucking bad war. Yeah. They both ended with us getting fucking washed. The bad war, meanwhile, yielded battlefield victories, first during the 2007 surge then even more emphatically in the fight against the islamic state bro dude the fucking fact that the islamic state came into power in the first place is a massive l yeah it just proves how not how we

did not win in any way yeah Oh, man. Post-ISIS Iraq is an uneasy place infiltrated by Iran politically and economically. The U.S. has hit back hard against Iranian interference. The U.S. is also still partnered with Iraq if awkwardly so. Blah, blah, blah. Anyways,

let's read the final paragraph here. I wonder if he's... The invasion of Ukraine has recalled the people of the Western democracies to themselves. This is the last paragraph. There are times when free people

must fight in self-defense. No, no, no, no, no. Okay. Okay. He's like putting out the call for the Power Rangers that got us into Iraq to come back for this one.

Yeah. That truth must not be lost whatever lessons we draw from the Iraq War and perhaps the commitment to share that freedom with the people of Iraq is not yet lost either. They have gained a chance and their story is not over. Oh my god.

This guy needs a overweight HVAC technician East overweight HVAC technician, East Kentucky HVAC technician, to fall out of his ceiling. This guy wasn't overweight. This guy was pretty svelte, to be honest with you. Oh, was he?

Yeah. He was fit? Yeah, he was fit as a fiddle. Well, I'm saying, while he's working at his computer, he needs one who's not svelte to fall on his fucking ass, crushing him to death, and say, are you going to learn today, David?

Are you going to learn today? That's one for the safety books. That's my favorite saying in the world. Are you going to learn today? It's the only funny thing Kevin Hart's ever said. Is that a Kevin Hart thing? Yeah. No, dude.

I've heard old-timers saying that since I was a kid. Do you think Kevin Hart came up with that? No, man. It's what he said his dad said. Oh, yeah. That's fucked up. He used that as a bit. See, I could have done that.

Because I had old-timers telling me that when I was a kid. And that could have been you starting, aside Dne the rock johnson and his buddy comedies man that could have been me saying oh you gonna learn today rock and the rock says that's right know your role is that what he says in that shut shut your mouth, The Rock is a guy that I thought was just the coolest guy on the planet for about three years. And now... No? Now, he just... I don't know.

No? You like The Rock? I'm playing devil's advocate. Oh, okay. I don't really have a feeling one way or the other. No. I think he's pretty... He just really wants to be the most famous guy alive.

I would never have sex with a dude like The Rock. He's just way too buff. You know what I'm saying? It wouldn't be fun. More of a Dave Bautista man. Not even Dave Bautista. He's too big, too. Okay.

I think it'd have to be like... Who's that guy that dated Phoebe Bridgers? Paul Mescal. Oh, God. That was going to go in a different direction. I'd fuck Paul Mescal. Yeah, you and him. Yeah, get in line, pal. I'd fuck Paul Mescal and what's the guy in the Pedro?

Pedro Pascal. Pascal. I'd fuck Paul Mescal and Pascal. I'd fuck those two guys together. Inside the HVAC duct. I was like,

guys, let's see if we can't crop in that ceiling and make some things happen. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, dude,

we squeezed almost an hour and a half out of this. What time is it? That's an hour and 18 minutes. I'm supposed to stream with. It's 515. out of this. What time is it? That's an hour and 18 minutes. I'm supposed to stream with... It's 5.15.

Oh, man. What time is your stream? Six. Oh, man. You're fucked. What? There's no way you're going to get to your stream in 45 minutes. Yeah, there's no way you can walk to the next stream in 45 minutes.

There's no fucking way. You're fucked. Bro, you're good. What are you going to do? Bro, I'm calling Brian. I'm telling you, you're not going to be able to make it. You're not going to it you're fucking making you're fucked um okay thanks for listening this week everybody it's like the first time we got

to record in person in a minute probably not since the episode where we talked about adam levine's sexts. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that one. That's probably the last time we recorded in person. Dang, your body is so... Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. I mean, you know, it happens. That's me in Pascal and Pascalcals here's the thing you've seen diplo came out today and said he has received oral sex from a man before oh and while he doesn't know if he would call himself gay maybe he is slightly maybe he is slightly into dudes what he said and well that's funny on its face there's is also such thing as, like, becoming desensitized to pussy because you've gotten so much. You know what I mean?

You think that's what happened to you? Maybe. It's like, you know, everything that's just kind of, like, left to center is like, this is what I'm into now because I'm just tired of it. You know? I can see that. I can see that. That's a crazy life to live. I know, but the funny thing is, is, like, you would think adam levine would have that same stop yap in place but but the thing is is like this is actually a

great distinction because i don't think adam levine actually fucks like he he does i'm sure he does he has sex but like he doesn't he probably doesn't fuck he's one of those guys that spends way too much time trying to fuck when he could have just already fucked yeah that's true you know what i'm saying like whereas diplo probably doesn't give a fuck diplo's like oh fuck anyone yeah and he always has been like that yeah that's why he's like i'm kind of not really feeling yeah you're right celebrities yeah like as far as celebrities go diplo's like a guy you could have sex with tomorrow if you really wanted to easily easily Adam Levine yeah you'd have to

you'd have to run you'd have to go through so many fucking loops you'd have to let him flirt with you and like fucking take you out and do all this fucking bullshit I had friends like that I had a really good friend like that who would like get way more into the production of it than actually just fucking

I'd be like dude what come to think of it i had a homoerotic thing with that dude so he probably wanted to think of it he did that he did that to me he did he did actually do that to me so maybe that's maybe that explains it. Well, anyways. Go check out the picture. Tom's got 43 minutes to get to the next room. 42. In the show, man.

I have to go. 42 minutes. All right. Thanks for listening. Let's just drag out this ending for 42 minutes. It's hard to stop when you're recording in person for the first time in a long time. It's hard to just stop. How do you just stop it?

I can't just press the button. It's like that would end this conversation. If I press the button, that would end this conversation. We would put our microphones down and our headphones down, and then we would enter a new kind of conversation. You know what i'm saying like we should walk around with this thing at all times yeah however we never have to chat we never have to turn it you always get the real me yes you always it's it's like siamese twins but for podcasting yeah you know what i'm saying like we're never like there's always a Zoom recorder between us. Always a Zoom recorder between us.

Why didn't I ever think about that before? We could have been... For five, six years, we could have been doing this whole thing. Yeah. Joined it to hit by a Zoom recorder. God. That could have been an amazing experiment. That would have been awful, I'll be honest with you.

No. It could have been, like, a Truman Show type experiment. While we're fucking Eating Everything We'd be right here Now we got the radio So Yeah

Nothing on but the radio Alright Go to the Patreon P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com Slash Troubly Workers Party Please go check that out Go subscribe Like and subscribe

And go tell your friends. Until next time. Keep on. Keep your dreams alive. There you go. That's a good one. Keep your dreams alive. Especially if they are about Marilyn Manson.

Getting saved. Keep your dreams alive, especially if they are about Marilyn Manson. Getting saved. Keep your dreams alive. And listen, if you get sucked off by a guy, it doesn't mean you gain a soul. There's all kinds of different interpretations of that. Yeah, there's all kinds of different, yeah. Just like a dream. There's all kinds of different interpretations. A lot of things could be going on there.

Just keep them alive. Keep those dreams alive. All right. Thanks for listening. Bye-bye.