Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 296: Uncle Of A Soldier (w/ special guests Pendejo Time)

Episode Date: June 22, 2023

This week we're joined by Jake and Thomas from the podcast Pendejo Time to talk about how (to pay $10,000) to be a real man, former West Virginia basketball coach Bob Huggins, sports programs in general, and the infidelities of a certain assistant bowling coach in Texas Support Jake and Thomas on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/pendejotime And support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

okay it's a recording on the zoom okay that's all that means don't pay no minds to that voice I'm trying to track down on Google the character in

Lonesome Dove that was killed by water moccasins did y'all ever watch that movie? it's been a long time i think i watched like an hour of it but it was an hour of the middle of the movie so i really don't know what happens at all the funny thing about like the masculine like i read i just read this article i was just walking and i just heard i listened to this article and vice about guys who are spending like 10 grand to do these like warrior masculine warrior camps or whatever you did you see that yeah i'm i'm really obsessed with them and uh i follow all the accounts on instagram dude and it's like they make them do shit in like a strip mall parking lot like in

front of dentist's office yeah like it's a bunch of ex-special operators that are all hopped up on tests now and they're like they're like do you think you like dude they'll fucking get after those dudes they're like you think you're gonna fuck your old lady with a belly like that like get up and drop me 20 you fat fuck and i'm like dude you're paying five figures to have some roided up war criminal call you a piece of shit and gay slurs for like a 72 hour window it's totally bizarre in a like abandoned mall parking lot yeah yeah it's like spiritually desolate places in planet earth yeah like an abandoned mall dude if you want it like you can get called like a queer for free like in the cell you could just

somebody can call you a bad name you know you don't gotta pay 10 grand like it's such a i i'd say well i'll be honest with you i do fuck my old lady with yeah yeah yeah like i fucking that's very funny like because it's not like the military i guess you know like you just lose your 10 grand but it would be funny to to go fund me just to i'm gonna go fuck with these guys actually she loves me so how about that we have a meaningful relationship and we support chemistry is hard to explain how about that man yeah yeah yeah i tried to lose a little bit of weight man she she stopped texting me she moved out of the house so she likes you know a little bit yeah those guys though they're very very go ahead go ahead tom no i was

just gonna say i tell him this is a get money belly like gucci when he had the lean belly honestly there is truth to that like belly honestly there is truth to that like dude there is truth to that like i feel like bigger guys pull a lot easier than wait should i be recording sorry on audacity yeah if you if you want i'm recording on zoom but okay i didn't know if you if you like the same place okay it's whatever you want to do but yeah record on audacity okay so if you have the audacity gotcha i think you i think he was wondering whether the episode started yet yeah yeah i'm an idiot because i know that you asked about audacity and we do like a three two one countdown i'm fucking stupid so yeah jake's like when is the countdown when we do yeah well yeah i do the

we have to take off. It's like life. It just begins and ends. Yeah. You're never really ready for it one way or the other. But yeah, those guys. So I follow three of the dudes. There's MDK Warrior. That's what I was going to ask. I was going to ask who are the figures in this community.

Yeah. So the up community. Yeah. So the upstanding, yeah, these gentlemen are all, not all of them, but a lot of them are ex-seals or berets. And there's only so much money you can, there's only so many jobs that you can be when the state turns you into an efficient sociopathic killing machine. Like when you come home. Yeah.

You know, so you can start a podcast called like choke point or like you can you can start you in a hospice for havana syndrome yeah yeah you can start selling coffee called like you know fucking nation of yore or whatever the fuck like but one of the things i guess an untapped market for them was these uh these camps and so like a couple years ago i saw the first one on tiktok and i was like it was the kind of thing that scratched the really bad part of my brain and like i'm gonna go find out everything there's to know about these dudes and so yeah basically there's like a three-day package a five-day package and i think one of them started doing like a two- weeker and they don't even teach you like seer.

Like they don't teach you how to live in the woods or nothing. They do all this shit. Yeah. Like in front of a little Caesars, like in Fort worth or something, I don't fucking know. And, uh,

like they pressure wash you in the parking lot. They make you do kettlebell swings and they like, I guess teach you how to do like one jujitsu move. And at the end of it, they're like, do you feel manlier? And the guys are like, I fucking guess so. You know? Well, do they like, I guess, teach you how to do, like, one jujitsu move. And at the end of it, they're like, do you feel manlier? And the guys are like, I fucking guess so. You know?

Well, do they, like, if you can't answer in the affirmative, they say, well, maybe you need to up it to the seven-day package. If you don't get what you wanted out of three days. That's a short amount of time it's like honestly way harder and way more masculine to do like a 90 day detox in like a rehab facility somewhere you know like ropes courses and like you know break down your uh comfort right i spent i spent seven days in an outpatient mental hospital and i wonder if that makes me you know you're like yeah the gold package yeah yeah i got i went with the ten dollar ten thousand dollar tier uh i didn't have to do any rope swings but i got to do arts and crafts with a couple homeless guys and that was pretty

i guess you know that's a mental that's a mental exercise in and of itself but i i kind of read the article i didn't know like i i was seeing some of it and the guys they get are so like they're they're exactly the type of dude who'd pay for it it's a guy like the headline the subheading or whatever was like you can't even be a man anymore it's like it makes you racist if you're a man the quote the quote was you're not allowed to be a man anymore you're almost a racist if you're a man these days it's crazy like something something that you'd say to a dude like like hour six into like a like a shift at burger king like your boss says it to you and you don't he's one of those like hands-on bosses and

he's like you know being a man these days it's almost like being in the kkk you feel me brother what the fuck are you talking about the the definition or association with masculinity with like muscles and extreme like duress and hardship is so fascinating it's like i guess where i was going with the lonesome dub thing it's like i grew up in new mexico and like new dudes who weighed like 120 pounds they were like 70 years old and they had like you know scars on their their arms from like fucking uh tying up bulls and shit it's just razor wire and shit yeah well somebody pointed out uh i was reading like uh it was a it was an article a little while back that like was i was like it was a it was an article a little while back that like was i was like it was a blog i won't call it an article but they were they were arguing

that um like the type of aesthetic often associated with like the fitness was a bodybuilding like if you really want to be trad none of the motherfuckers look like that it would be cumbersome to be a big son of a bitch like unless you're a corn-fed like iowa like motherfucker the vast majority of day laborers and laborers in general like sinewy yeah like yeah nobody looks that's true you're either like yeah you're either that very sinewy like or you like you look like you might be like a like a telephone linesman or something yeah you're like you're a professional bowler like you might be like a telephone linesman or something. Yeah, you're a professional bowler. You just kind of have that. Just thick.

Yeah, yeah. Nobody is tracking their macros in the fucking cornfields like, oh, I need to get 10 more grams of protein today, or I'm not going to have my beach body. It's like it's, yeah. And then to the degree in which like man like toughness like i tell thomas this a lot or i talk about it a lot on our show where it's like i i do like jitsu and like muay thai all those guys are like you got to do this to be a man and i'm like no i don't

think you have to get into a fist fight every day like and pay for a monthly fee to do it i just this is the only thing, I hated baseball. I didn't give a fuck about any of that shit. I just, you know. Well, the thing about BJJ that I found is the first day I went in there, I got folded by a 15-year-old girl. Like, no shit. I did.

And I was like, you know, it's like when you play pickup ball, and you're like, I don't want to guard. You don't want to guard a girl you don't want to be guarded by a girl know it's like when you play pickup ball you're like i don't want to go you don't want to guard a girl you don't want to be guarded by a girl because it's a no-win proposition right right right and that's kind of the mentality i brought into that and yeah and they're like no no no you'll be good i was like yeah well to me right yeah i think people don't and again we're talking about like a very, it's like a corner of the internet. That's a, that is so wrapped up in their own.

Like, it's not even ideology. It's like, it's like a, it's grievances, you know, it's like complaints mostly. There's not like a political or whatever.

So a guy that's like, you know, Oh, to be a man, you got to do X, Y, or Z. I got to get yelled at in a parking lot by a guy who looks like my dad,

you know, like that's like that, you know to do X, Y, or Z. I got to get yelled at in a parking lot by a guy who looks like my dad. You know, like that's like, you know, it's goofy as shit. And to, you know, to Terrence's point, it's like, well, I think we've kind of figured out, I guess if you want to attribute anything to masculinity or whatever, you don't have to be, you don't have the same politics as Margaret Thatcher. Like that's not a part of being a man. Last I checked, you know, And then two, it's like,

hey, if you want yourself a milkmaiden, sound of music type wife, you're not going to get it hanging out on Instagram comments all day calling people whatever slur you picked up from the internet that day. You're going to have to go get a logging job somewhere in Washington

and just figure it out. You know what mean yeah like northern england i do our milk maidens even still around like what makes them they're an endangered species i think mostly due to like gout and stuff like that. Self-inflicted. Hypertension is wiping them out like smallpox. I think you might come across them in like the upper peninsula of Michigan where like nine people live. Yeah. Six of them are milkmates. Well, yeah, they're like, somebody posted pictures of the there's like

there's the swami people they're like the the or sami sa sa i saw me i think swami is something completely different the sami people from like finland and it was like they were posting pictures of like they legitimately dress like they wear the sound of music shit and they all go out they're like midsummer people basically yeah movie and they're very like reclusive and i was trying to like whenever i saw that i was like imagine some like eight chan like fat neckbeard guy hanging out of the bushes just like my wife you know like oh i found her and it's like they would be terrified mortified at the sight of some like you know like arizona like eight chan teenager that just like found his way into their little you know cottage and was like oh i want to marry

one of you and they're like i don't know i don't we do we have a spear nearby like you have any some sort of it's like they would never in a thousand years you know they're not interested but you know a man can dream of his milkmaiden wife and his you know his masculine son a good way to start is that not looking like you subsist off mostly tv dinners and candy which there's nothing wrong with that but you need to find somebody in your stock in life well it's more your cruise now you're saying yeah you're swinging out of their or they're somebody in your stock in life. You know what I mean? Right, right. Yeah, yeah. Well, somebody with some more of your crews now. You're saying

they're swinging out of their, or they're kicking out of their coverage by shooting for the milk maidens. Yeah. There are only like nine left. Right, exactly. As Thomas pointed out.

Who do? Yeah. We're all, we're all aiming for an increasingly smaller and smaller demographic. And that's why, that's why there's so much grievance and anger around this, I guess. Well, I think that when you're trying to recreate something that didn't exist, you're going to get really pissed off.

really pissed off like if i think of like the catholic opus day knights templar slash arnold schwarzenegger bodybuilding slash christian nationalist movement i'm like oh you guys just have like prodromal schizophrenia like you don't yeah like you're you're hearkening you're like we need to return to this and it's like hey man there were fat fucking drunk dudes who jacked off all day in the roman times in the empire that you so revere what do you think like a good 33 of the population did they ate fermented grapes they you know went to brothels they you know saw the play and then they just hung out all day you know like the people that you consider losers well they run the run the world technically, you know, and they've always ran the world and they continue to do so. The people that you spit on as wages or whatever,

you know, the people that you decry, you know, whatever the hell, like those guys, they're the ones who, you know, they're the ones who keep your computer on or whatever the fuck.

So you can post more. That's the thing. I think you're, you're getting at something here. Is that like the foundational text of masculinity. It's like for me growing up, it really was Lonesome Dove. It wasn't Arnold Schwarzenegger. And maybe that's what skewed my impression.

Now it's Marcus Aurelius' meditation. I love that. Yeah. I'm trying to think. I think mine was V for Vendetta. That movie, I was like, this is what a man does. He does karate in a dystopian world. He blows up the parliament.

Yeah. Honestly, if I think about my current political leanings, that still tracks. But then the movement was co-opted by, I guess, libertarian hacker guys in indonesia or other parts of the world where in england you know where i'm like okay yeah i don't know about i don't know about you guys but i'm thinking about what was the coolest most masculine guy was neo from the matrix yeah and then and then hugo weaving and uh and the v for vendetta that that that moment was so tight like politically when like v for vendetta was like the uh upper limit of like your kind of political leanings you know what i mean right yeah i don't know how old you guys are i'm 29 so for me that was like fight club and that i was like i think i'm some sort of

cyberpunk anarchist that's that's what i am at like 13 years old over the fuck i was i was fishing in the same waters but i was more of uh oceans 13 i thought once i got to a certain age me and my friends were just going to wear menswear and do capers and i was sorely disappointed yeah that's yeah you're like you know what how can i feed the you know what i want to take from the rich and give to the poor how can i do that i need to get 10 of my drunkest friends together and we're going to steal from a las vegas casino that's that's what i thought life was that's what i thought masculinity was yeah um i i think well i guess it just kind of speaks to the if you're a younger if you're 13 or 14 now you don't have

beaver vendetta or lonesome dove or oceans 11 you have andrew tate and like you know all these brutal men and you have the oceans Eleven with girls in it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. How are they supposed to pick up all the money without their muscles? Yeah. Do they have to get a guy to seduce a girl who works in the casino? How does that work? Yeah.

They could get the 11 milkmaidens left on Earth. Yeah. They could do a caper. They could do the 11 milkmaidens left on Earth. Yeah, they could do a caper. They could do a caper. It's funny they didn't just, in hindsight, that they didn't just have a woman fit into the cube or whatever because instead they were like, we have to find the smallest Chinese contortionist in the world who's also a man.

They could have found just a woman who worked at a gas station. Yeah, they's right. They were like, we have to get. Yeah, he speaks no English. He does not know what the plan is. He thinks he's going to a dinner party. We're going to have him rob this casino. And they're like, what about what about your sister?

She's a contortionist, right? No, that's fucking stupid. We're not having her. She's off with it. This badass contortionist, he's going to wear a cool-ass suit. Contortion suit. I just recently got back from Vegas, and that's another plot point that I want to pick a bone at with Ocean's Eleven.

Ocean's Eleven's got a lot of handsome guys in that crew, and when I was gambling on the floor of the Aria or whatever, casinos are filled with mostly tough look guys you know guys who look like you know they're not going to be doing any contortioning they're not going to be doing any charming uh well they might they might like leave in a trunk you know trying to rip off the house they might you know what i mean like or leave jamal kashoggi style in several different trunks. That's contortionism. That's the best contortionist of all time.

The police are calling in and they're like, look for the six sexiest guys you've ever seen and then a few character actors also. Don Shadal. If you see Brad Pitt and George Clooney in the same room, something is going wrong. Yeah.

That was a flaw in the movie. You're right. Two very, very, very. The only thing these men can do is act. Literally, there was nothing else for them to do. And then just a couple guys from shows that your mom watches. Scott Kahn or James Kahn's son, Scott Conn, was in there. Just kind of like an unremarkable looking guy.

What was his rap group? Scott Conn, he had a rap group? Yeah, let me. Him and Brian Austin Green from 90210 and The Alchemist. Oh, my God. Is that real? It was like young black teenagers i think you're right hooligans the hooligans w-h-o-l-i-a was young

black teenagers and they were actually not young the hooligans holy shit dude yeah uh alchemists and scott khan wow i did not know that but that is i love the alchemist so that's just very that's that's that's very funny. You're right, young black teenagers, hip-hop group from Long Isle. Tommy Never, Cameron, DJ Scribble, firstborn in ATA. Yeah, well, yeah, maybe, who am I thinking? The guy from 90210 was, I don't know, maybe he was like doing some blue-eyed soul, John B. type shit or something, i don't know maybe he was like doing some blue-eyed soul john b type shit or something i don't know i think the funniest one of those of course goes without saying the king

of all that is is mark walberg i mean just to be to have like to go from doing that and like hate crimes to being like yeah he's in all the movie for ma give a bonus for maiming Vietnamese Americans to make it. It's just a good vibration. He's in all the movies that our dads watch. If Hollywood's like, hey, we got a part for an oil rigger who thinks something's up, and he needs to kind of be breathing the whole time, and he needs to have 4% body fat for some reason also. Every new movie he's in, it's something that my uncle He needs to have 4% body fat for some reason. Also, like I've always,

it's every new movie he's in is like, it's something that my uncle will be like, do you see Mark Wahlberg and the toughest soldier? And I'm like, I didn't like, man, I ain't cried since daddy died, but you know,

I, I, I, I got a crowd, a little tear. And I'm like, well, what happens in the toughest soldier? Oh,

you know, he, he goes to war and leaves his family behind and he almost dies and i'm like oh like the 10 other movies yeah you know yeah yeah he's kind of pigeonholed himself in into that i can't wait for like 10 years whenever he's like like his heart can't run like steroids anymore so he has to play like chris kyle's uncle or something like yeah have you seen uncle of a soldier it's so good it's where he's like he's like call he's like getting phone calls from chris kyle like the whole time and he's like he's like looking out the window and stuff it's

like fucking dude it was a tearjerker there was a an interview with uh rob deardick where he was like so rob deardick the robin big the skateboarder you know businessman he's one of those like early morning riser guys and he was uh he wakes up at like 4 30 in the morning and he said he was talking with mark walberg once mark walberg is one of those guys too and so he's also apparently like a big one-upper or whatever rob deardick was like joking around he's like man like a big one upper or whatever. Rob Gerdek was like joking around. He's like, man, you know, I like 430. That's good for me. I know some people do five, six, but, you know, I always kind of woke up early. And, you know, I feel like I get a couple hours where everyone's up to just have my time, you know, my coffee, my workout or whatever.

He said he was telling this to Mark Wahlberg and Mark's just nodding. And he goes, oh, yeah, i get up at 3 30 like just right there like was and then he was like mark that's the middle of the night man he's like yeah yeah but you know the family's still asleep and i can do my work and i can get i can get up and do my prayers yeah that's right he's does that he's got that praying he wakes up at praying 3 30 a.m to do the rosary at that time at that point you're just bothering God yeah yeah yeah God operates in central standard time

so the motherfucker is just yeah he's fast asleep yeah I like don't all that shit it's a part of the warrior stuff too they tell you to wake up at like 4.30 in the morning and I'm like man that's bullshit if you've ever had to

do it for work like when i worked at this plastics plane i had to get there at like 5 45 5 30 and so i would be up around 4 4 30 and it's like what time you go to bed dude yeah oh like yeah yeah yeah i mean you'd work you work yourself into an exhaustion but i'm like what if you don't what if you're just like yeah like why would you do that to yourself? It seems like... Do men wake up? I feel like the coolest guys I know wake up at 2 p.m. You know what I mean? I worked at...

I was a janitor on University of Texas campus. Oh, shit. Damn. I used to live in Austin. You're like Goodwill Hunting of a solid state school. For government, for poli-sci. Yeah.

I was like, I lived in Austin for four years, and I worked the night shift from 5 to 2. Mm-hmm. And I really was waking up at like 2 p.m. Like I would get off work at like 2 a.m., get shit-faced until like 5 a.m. Yes, yeah. Go to sleep. You know what I'm saying?

Wake up at like 12, 1. Yeah. I bounced for a long time while I was in college. And it's like when you work at a bar, it's like you get there, yeah, about 7. You help set up. Bar opens at 8, 8.30. And then I would get home. We'd close at 2, and you'd get home around 3.

And then my roommate at the time had a 9 to 5, and he would wake up, and I'd be pissed drunk watching It's Always Sunny in the living room. And he's like, hey, man, it's none of my business, but it's like 8 in the morning. And I was like, we live different lives, brother. This is my downtime, dude. I'm about to go to the gym here in a second.

Like, yeah, but all of that shit at 4 a.m. stuff, this is my downtime dude i'm about to go to the gym here in a second like yeah but but for it yeah all of that shit at 4 a.m stuff i'm like that's just like are you closer to god and masculinity at 4 a.m i feel like i'm not worth a fuck you know yeah i i i guess it's part of the article i read was the message that they kept ramming home was that suffering makes you a man and i guess that's so awesome i guess that's it's like waking up before is suffering so yeah well a lot of those guys again like i think i was who was i talking about it may have been on our show but like when you i feel like when you go to special forces training, the state tortures you and turns you into a guy who's really good at war. Right.

And all of that stuff, of course you have to live like that when you come home. You can ingratiate yourself back into civilization and normal society, but you're going to need to take 32 degree baths. You have to wake up at four in the morning and do a thousand push-ups then you got to go you know you gotta go to the gun range it's like yeah you can work a nine to five but you need to make it as close to war as you can right and that's why letcher county's only uh green beret uh ben buster taylor became the sheriff of letcher county when he came back. Do you know about that? Why? Because he could do ice

baths? No, not because he could do ice baths. He was in Vietnam. He was actually Paul Barrett at JFK's funeral. He was in Vietnam. I love that. He ended up fucking shooting this dude named Blaine Kaiser whose chickens kept coming on his

property. Just murdered a dude over a mild inconvenience dude that is just had like a vietnam flashback to the time he was like trying to pacify pacify a village with extreme prejudice someone murdered all the chickens and he was yeah he told us a gnarly story about how he got hepatitis in Vietnam one time. It's kind of something like that. Oh, okay. What if you did something like that and then it later turned out you never saw combat? Let's say if I joined the Marines when I was really young, I went to Afghanistan or something, or that's what I told people, and I just shot up a Whataburger one day.

And they're like, well, you know, he's a combat vet. And then the Marines are like, he was in Idaho. Yeah. He was doing radio signals. What did he tell you guys? Yeah, he was. Fort Hood. He was a nurse for guys who got carpet burn a lot.

A guy could really dress a spider, but... He just put sunscreen on people. Can you get my back? Can you get my back? Created crotch rot and stuff. He was the guy that went to the store to get more off for the mosquitoes out there and was just kind of like the general.

He was a pew barber for the Marines. Hey, I'll line your shit up good, you know. Bill Dautry. I think even funnier than like a stolen valor guy is a guy who actually went to the army. I had a buddy who went to the Marines and was in infantry. And when he came back, we were hanging out.

I know not everybody comes back this way, but he was just kind of like... He wasn't your typical, like, ooh, I loved it. He was like as boring as shit i walked around the desert you know for four years and you know whatever but he was telling me that you know he always feels awkward being from the south like anytime you know he's got some of the tattoos and you know and he'll take advantage of a barbecue discount when he can and people are like you know oh what what was your mos son you know people that serve and he's like oh marines infantry and they're like guys who like watched all their friends die are like oh brother that's

ultimate sacrifice and he doesn't he was told me he was like i never wanted to ruin that moment for them right so he would be like yeah man you know it's what you do when you want to serve you know god's country and they because in his head he's like dude i ate fucking fried burrito mres and like killed scorpions with pistols like i went to israel and like man tore that city down and they got brothels out there apparently like he was like i just basically partied in the desert for four years on uncle sam's dime and then got discharged you know and got benefits because i got he like he fucked his knee up or some shit yeah but like he would he would express to me that when when some old guy some old vietnam dude is like you know i think tucker and i think god damn all my brothers out there he's like yeah

i lost some people too and like he just lost a sock right you know yeah his favorite spider. I had a friend that was in Iraq, and he was mostly, I think, in Kuwait. And he had a similar job. He really didn't do anything. But he was like, I spent so much time over there jerking off in Port-A-Johns that when I came back, I had a Pavlovian. Every time I would smell a Port-A-John, I would smell a portage on i would have like a pavlovian oh my god no dude i remember war war makes you a man well like that's a like dude that's a type of suffering that i think like you can get you don't gotta go to war just go work a construction site in texas there was a dude that yeah i remember

it was a guy that my dad knew i worked with my dad for a bit his plastics plant and uh there was a guy that apparently the the rumor going around was that he liked to to jack off on the porta potties and it wasn't like a freak thing he just you know you work 16 hours maybe he was in the war too i don't fucking know they had walked into this guy once and he was clearly whacking it and i remember thinking when my dad we were joking about in the warehouse i was like dude how horny do you got to be to get into a 122 degree plastic box filled with human shit and piss fucking sweating yeah and you're wearing like in we had to wear full frs so you gotta unzip that

motherfucker it's like a romper you gotta take that shit down your knees you're just naked as hell just to take a piss yeah yeah yeah you're you're just like it's like how you know like women wear the the full body suit or whatever go party yeah the romper it's like they have to pee they have to take it all take the whole fucking thing off i'm like dude like you you go to take a shit and you're like you know what sounds good right now jack it off what the fuck are you talking about that's a shit like that's a guy you know you know you meet that dude at the job site and he's like hey we're gonna go drinking after you want to come you're like no man i think i never want to be anywhere with you like ever as long as i live oh man did y'all um did y'all hear

about bob huggins west virginia um basketball coach no he's like he got uh this isn't really related i guess it's related in the sense that like a man's got to do what a man's got to do but right he was like suspended from west virginia for he said he said a slur right tom didn't he say i remember what he said on a radio interview he said when we played xavier university catholic school up in cincinnati he said that uh yeah he called what did he call them uh they they threw dildos on the court or what oh yeah he called them a bunch of catholic fags is what he that's what i just want to say his words not mine yeah yeah yeah he um well he just recently so he's been in hot water he's been in hot water but he uh he recently got fired like actually from west virginia because he got caught drunk driving.

And he blew a.210, which is, like, pretty shit-faced. Yeah, yeah. Pretty hammered. Three times the legal land. That's awesome. I mean, it's not awesome, but, you know. His daughter made a long, like, Facebook post that said that the cans in his car were purely

because he's a recycling enthusiast. Yes. He's an environmentalist. That's awesome. And not an alcoholic because blowing a.210 while driving is simply drinking like 90% of us do. Hell yeah.

I love that. That's awesome. Just saying it like it is. I'd hope my family would ride for me like that if something like that went down. I know they wouldn't, but it's nice to think about it. I told him.

He was trying out the other side of the road was newly paved, and he just wanted to try it out for a little bit. He wanted to feel like he was in Europe, and he'd never driven on the other side of the road, so doing that he'd never he'd never run from a police car before you're not allowed to try new things anymore you know oh man uh yeah go ahead go ahead like sports departments at universities like obviously at the top because like when i was in austin the baseball coach at ut like you got like four duis in the course of like a year or something

yeah yeah i thought you i thought you were gonna say he used to make you just like clean up after clean my car out boy i've been drinking all fucking month clean my car out boy i've been drinking all fucking month he sees you like wiping the floors down he's like hey i got a fucking mess you can come clean up here in this car yeah it's like but like you know sports departments are like they're the place for the most insane scandals yeah i mean seriously you never hear of like really a history department at a university like i mean i feel like what you get is you get the creative writing department with the professor who can't stop trying to read the iliad to his students while you know have you ever had have you ever had to port wine before like in his office yeah yeah yeah that but

the i feel like really in the south i can can't, I mean, I don't know. I can't speak for everywhere else. I've only lived in the South. But if you were at a big high school and you're like, I didn't, I was told Thomas says, we were talking about it. I didn't know how much money

them motherfuckers make. Like those dudes can clear like high, like 150 to 200 grand a year. If you're a strength and conditioning coach or like a football coach at a decent 4A, 5A high school. school whereas like the history teaches like the teachers are making 45 52 that's wild though in texas but that's that makes total sense that's yeah yeah yeah it's it's that's like what a d1 one would pull anywhere else right yeah yeah and i and i remember finding that

out at my high school i googled i was, you know, what the guy's name was. And then I looked at salaries, and I was just curious because there was a time where I considered going back to teach. This was some years back. The new strength and conditioning that I hired, they were paying him $112,000 a year. And I knew the salary for teachers at the public high school I went to capped out at around $48,000. public high school i went to capped out at around 48 and uh and one of the strength and conditioning coaches actually the guy that that guy replaced he got got because he was um one of the dance team girls her 18th birthday he was like you know what i want to do i want to ruin my family and my life and they started dating and uh and that's the type of scandals though because it got swept under the rug for

like six months until I guess they got seen out at a bar and the fucking print the superintendent was like goddamn man I remember when I was in elementary school one of the coaches had to leave because he got uh a senior pregnant but even at the time it, yeah, it's a real shame that she got pregnant. You know, because they were in love and that was real stupid of her, you know, to have that baby. Named her, yeah. She should have just, you know, gone on some roller coaster rides or something. But no, she had to ruin it, you know. Well, the football, like the culture of it, in a lot of these towns, the towns where I grew up and towns where a lot of my friends, you know, that I know from different parts, you know, of of the the enlightened part of the country. Football is all you got.

So you could have like a school that's falling apart, but you got a new brand new one point two million dollar football stadium. You know, they got lockers with the lights and the Bluetooth and all that shit. And and a lot of the air conditioning in the helmets. Nice. Yeah. Yeah, dude. And I will something that I when I so when I went to back to school, I was getting my master's. I was like, I'm going to be a professor. I'm going to do nothing until I get tenure. And then I'm just going to cruise on that till something critical.

My body fails. And I was like, oh, it's not going to be like high school where you know like the athletes you just have to pass them or whatever and i found out like i guess the second semester i was teaching i had one of the students in the classes that i assistant taught he was uh like full ride scholarship athlete i forget he played football i forget what position he played and and uh we had to i had to sign off on these sheets saying they were passing the class or else this kid couldn't and and uh we had to i had to sign off on these sheets saying they were passing the class or else this kid couldn't play and uh he came and asked me to sign it and i was like i'm not signing that man and he was like oh well oh my coach will probably email you then and i was like

i don't give a shit i didn't know how anything worked and uh like two weeks later i do get an email that's like uh hey this kid's gonna pass intro to philosophy that's happening all right and i was and i was like well he's got a 24 and there's about three weeks left and the last paper that i assigned to him was 800 words he turned in 90 words something like that and uh and i talked to the Dean at the time I went and I was like, Hey man, I don't think I'm going to, you know, and he was like, Hey, look, he's like, you go to high school around here. And I was like, yeah, he's like, I went to high school in Amarillo. And he was like, it works the same.

He was like, we got a little bit more money. Obviously we're a, we're a big state university, but, uh, that stadium out there is what keeps the lights on basically for the whole, I was like, I just didn't know. And I don't know. I'm sure it's like that everywhere else. But, like, Friday night lights, that shit's real. In towns, you know, where there ain't shit to do

except go to the football game on Fridays, those guys can get away with basically whatever they want. You know what I mean? Yeah. Did y'all both grow up in Texas? Yeah. Yeah, born and raised. Where at?

I'm from about an hour outside fort worth in a town called pister and uh takes from a little further south i uh i grew up in a town i guess it's considered a suburb it's called pasadena texas it's one of those where texas will take the name of a much more culturally influential and i guess cooler part of the world like pasadena california like we're gonna name the shittiest nastiest town after this much i guess you know more important town and uh it was uh it's all where all the chemical plants are i guess the carcinogenic coast as they call it that's where i grew up yeah raps into louisiana yeah uh yeah we're like two

hours i mean my family is from vider texas like my mom's george jones country yeah dude man when we would go out there to like orange and vider you know people talk about sundown towns and it's like like my dad's side of the family's from jper where that tragedy happened. I don't know if you're all familiar with they drug that young man behind a truck. Yeah. And you go there and you have this feeling that not much has changed. Right. It's, you know, the average age is like 55 plus. And the kind of, you know, the kind of boomer that's like, know they they've just never it's still 1952

you know not nothing nothing's changed or whatever yeah i haven't sworn cop to this regularly but he's oh i think he was getting ready i was getting ready to cop to it readily i was born in i was born in lubbock oh Yeah, but I grew up in southeastern New Mexico. Okay. A lot of my family's from Lubbock, up around like Shallow Water. Yeah, Shallow Water. Holy shit.

And then there's no part of my family that's from an area where people are like, oh, nice. It's the same. It's like the Lubbock area, and then it's like the beaumont area and then like conroe and then like the woods right unincorporated ill-defined yeah yeah i found out we had some family that wasn't in texas and i was like oh cool and they were like they're just sort of around. You don't want to find them. Yeah.

They're all around and you don't make eye contact with them. You just keep talking. Okay. We, uh, I remember my dad. So my, my dad's side of the family, they're from a town, um, they've got cousins in Jasper, but there's a town in East Texas called craft. It's an unincorporated community. And, uh, he used to have some land out there that was i guess willed to him when his when his aunt passed and so his aunt was sick we went out there and

and uh it was just a couple acres with a little catfish pond on it and you know he he was just showing me around and stuff and and then at one point he points out into the distance to this dilapidated old RV. It's just got weeds growing up around it. And, uh, you know, like half the front's falling off and he points to it and he goes, your great uncle lives out there. And I was like,

Oh, are we going to go say, Hey, he goes, Nope. I was, I was, I was at the age where I wanted to meet anybody I was related to.

I didn't understand that they're like, hey, there's some motherfuckers that share your blood. They don't want to meet you. You don't want to meet them. And let's just keep it at that. And I was like, well, what does he do? He's like, well, he mostly works on the tractor and then drinks the stuff that he degreases the tractor with. It just hangs out there all day. And he don't take too kindly to

mostly anybody that breeds uh so you know we're gonna leave him alone but um i i like to tell it was told to me in a much more glamorous way but uh my grandma would be like oh you know some of our family were moonshiners and some of them still do it and i was like oh that's so cool i saw that movie lawless and you know i read a couple books about you know all the moonshiners back then and then like i come to find out it's like my dad was like i mean they make it but it ain't it ain't like you know kentucky brandy it's mostly just like stuff that you could throw in the back of a diesel truck and it would spark right up like it wasn't anything glamorous like they were selling it to

pretty boy floyd you know and they're just hey man you know it serves several purposes it's kind of like an all-in-one liquid you know you can disinfect wounds with it um well like it's just like bringing up like texas sports like tom had sent me this article before we started recording about this bowling coach assistant at Stephen F. Austin State University. Did you guys hear about this at all? No. Let me read this to you. This guy had the most amazing justification for his ousting at the university. Stephen F. Austin State University assistant bowling coach Steve Lemke chose to resign rather than be fired.

After the university discovered he had an affair with a student athlete, and be fired after the university discovered he had an affair with a student athlete limkey 38 is married to head coach amber limkey resigned april 10th from the program he helped coach to two national titles um it says steve limkey defended his actions and said the relationship was consensual but might have been quote amplified to the magnitude that it is now because of the national championship caliber that we've developed. My affair looks much worse because we're bowling champions. There's just nothing sexier than, you know, some osium and a fresh pair of boots, a fresh pair of bowling shoes, you know what I mean?

I get that ball waxed up and I just get ready to go you know what's this guy's name also steve limkey lim that's a bowling coach's name no totally slick lungs it's also sort of like a flex it's like yeah that's how good of a bowling coach i am i you know like he's been trying to have an affair for 20 years he finally did it and then immediately lost his job he was like yeah i mean i'm 38 i'm still pretty young but uh yeah no big deal it's red shirt senior i bagged it it's funny to think like like a girl like, like a young woman in the prime of her life that's 22 years old. She's getting ready to enter the professional world.

And you think of the athletes that maybe or the coach types that maybe could the older that might sway her and bring her into such a conundrum. And it's like, oh, you think like, oh, I'm the head strength conditioning coach, D1 football team. And it's like, you know what? It's wrong that that man did that. But I get it. It's like, who did this woman ruin her and his life for?

The assistant bowling coach. Well, I don't mean to judge without knowing, bowling coach. I don't mean to judge without knowing, but I can't imagine that bowling pussy is like... You know? I feel like...

It's not like you hooked up with a star volleyball athlete. You're right. This woman probably looked like a volunteer firefighter. You know what I mean? His wife found out because there was oil leaking in the driveway and she was like, I don't drive a dually.

What's going on? You know how I've been spending all my money on raising Cain's gift cards? I got something to admit. I'm not the only caniac in this day what what else was there I thought there was another hilarious quote in this like he's totally unrepent so he said uh he said I think it's more of an ethics thing

when it comes to the college as far as a coach teacher being with a student athlete he said i knew he said okay so first of all his wife did not respond to request for comment he said i knew it was kind of a no-no but there's not a rule saying it can't happen that's awesome there's not a law he said there's not a law saying I'm going to jail for doing something like this. There's nothing in stone. I guess it's just an ethics code. Like, we frown upon it, but there's no rule. There's no law broken.

It is funny to be like, it's not illegal to cheat on your wife for 20 years. It's not illegal to ruin your family's, like, the trajectory of their respective lives. families like the trajectory of their respective lives just uh okay so the affair with the bowler was discovered when amber limkey saw a text message from her on steve limkey's phone it didn't have anything in detail he said it was just about how amazing i am basically in general perspective amber saw that and questioned me like that dude okay that's yeah hey it just so happens i was having an affair yeah you kind of the tale the tale was her telling him how amazing he was and her his wife was like something's missing yeah my husband is not amazing my husband's a real sack of shit there's something going on here yeah oh he's amber saw that and questioned me and i got to the point where it just built up so much

that I basically told her the truth after she dug through my phone. SFA's bowling program started in 2009. Amber Lemke was hired in the 2011-2012 school year. And Steve Lemke was a volunteer assistant until September the 1st, 2019, when he was officially hired as assistant coach. I was the stay-at-home dad for five years with the kids while Amber got to go off and coach the team, and when she'd get back, I'd run practices on top of taking care of the kids while she was back. When they'd travel again, I would sit back and take care of the kids. Then when I got hired on, she almost forced me to run practices. I was a volunteer the entire time before that trying to help out Amber once I got hired on one thing stemmed from another I felt like I was doing too much for what I was valued at so I mean he was taken back I was a work strike

it was a work stopping they talk he's talking about running bowling practices like they have plays yeah but it really is just like all, just twist your wrist a little bit. You know what I mean? It's like they don't have... There's not... It's not like that. I mean, not that there's nothing too bowling, right? But it's not...

He's not like a wrestling coach. What is there to say other than, like, hit the rest of the pins? You know what I mean? Don't step over the line. You step over the line. Also, like, i missed the tidbit where his wife coached there before him so it's like it seems like he's framing it as like damn she got to go out and have all the fun with all the sexy bowling students and

i was over here patting babies and you know preparing bottles and so when i i just had to go sow my wild oats at 38 when i got to coach the big team you know oh man that's crazy a little something for stevie you know yeah yeah yeah he's like she she was you know coaching at the at the 35th best college in texas and all i got was a gift of fatherhood. You know what I mean? Speaking of SFA, that area. Oh, I'm thinking of Sam Houston. When I was driving, when we did the little Texas run with Chapo, we were driving all around the state.

And I went through Huntsville, and I hadn't been through Huntsville in a long time. And they have a prison unit out there called the Holiday Unit,nily enough and it's where they take people um that's like a transitory it's like a unit you go to when you find out what major prison you go to so right they take you there from county and uh and then from there you go to walls tdc wherever the hell um they built a chili's right next to the motherfucker like since the last time I drove down there and I thought there's no greater hell, like you can see it from the fenced in bar razor wire prison.

Yeah. That's freedom to you. Yeah. Like imagine you're like, you know, you're going to go away for a fucking dime. You got 10 years and you smell those Southwest egg rolls and you're like cocksucker,

like at least build the prison. Like, cause a lot of the other ones in Huntsville are like next to cornfields and she's in middle of nowhere, but it seems extra cruel to have like a Chili's and then like a twin peaks right next to the place where you're like going to spend a big chunk of your life at that point. Like,

man, I can smell that Buffalo sauce. I got fucking 10 years when i saw this story i like i forgot that stephen f austin university was a college like my initial thought my new jerk reaction that it was that university that barry weiss started wasn't it called like austin university oh yeah austin texas university it's just a bowling scandal at barry weiss's university the the so they opened that um it was like the whole like free like it was like stephen pinker jordan peterson like that whole gang and uh they started it in a strip mall

right across the street from my old drug dealer's apartment i drove over there and saw where they were they were like setting up shop with like their tarp sign and i and i looked across the street from my old drug dealer's apartment. I drove over there and saw where they were setting up shop with their tarp sign, and I looked across the street, and I was like, dude, I used to buy pills from here. And there was just this thing of like, how far have you fallen in academia where you're like, oh, this dentist just moved out. He had a sex scandal. I'm going to open up a university across the street from a trap house.

It's going to be about freedom of speech, and it's going to be about the marketplace of ideas or wherever the fuck. That's a motley crew. Have you guys seen Jordan Peterson's Twitter lately? I think that motherfucker's back on the sauce. He'll post like an AI-generated picture of the Joker as a girl. Oh, I saw that. And then he'll be like uh the woke

mafia is after me again at like three in the morning on a tuesday i saw that and i'm like there's a girl yeah and i'm like what kind of some men i think don't do well with like any amount of attention because he was just like an academic for a long time and then you know he he made his he he put his line in the sand about canada's bathroom bill or whatever and then he got thrust into like the joe rogan manosphere and so now he just wears like purple suits everywhere and just barred out of his mind and uh and post pictures of the joker as a girl which like crying at tootsies when the house band plays ghost riders in the sky his uh it's funny that his his daughter shanghaied him off to some clinic in russia so she could like canoodle with uh like oil barons over there like uh she sent him to that rehab facility

for some reason out in the middle of nowhere. And then while he was all, I guess, you know, intubated and they were going through detox, she was hanging out with like Iranian oil princes and shit, which is a funny thing to do to your dad,

to take over his finances, intubate his ass in a rehab facility and go, I'm going to go, you know, have sex in a Bugatti in Saudiudi arabia oh my my dad has seizures the joker as a girl is such a specific uh like uh it's like a specifically like just niche interest like a fetish it's like a i think it's like a like a man like a weird manifestation of his neurosis specifically where

like he's gone all in on the gender stuff like all in he's i saw an interview with him recently where he's under the board he's under review from like the board of psychologists in canada and he's probably lost his teaching job so his whole life right imagine if that was your therapist like this is honestly the best argument against therapy it's like if your therapist was jordan peterson yeah i think he's like have you thought about the joker as a girl related to your trauma he's like that's not we're not going anywhere with this well he he's one of those guys that uses english slang but he's like you better well bloody be prepared. Newsflash. Yeah, he says bloody. Yeah. And to me, doing a lot of theater as a teenager, I met a lot of people from Frog Balls, Texas that were like, I'm going to the bloody store because they're theater kids.

So they have a profound mental illness. And I hated that. So when I saw him first, like years ago I was like I don't know what your politics are I don't care you say bloody and I can't handle that you know we gotta cut that out yeah I think he thinks he's like a Batman villain

now really it's like he's just his main opponent is just like the YouTube algorithm really I think he just i think he just falls asleep in front of the tv and then wakes up and it's just like a gay guy in a thong and then he just like throws his beer at the tv and he's like fuck the bastards got me again you will see crazy shit when you're like barred out or like on am yeah you're trying to stay awake

maybe that's you're right maybe that's it do you think you ever like barred out or like on am yeah you're trying to stay awake maybe that's you're right maybe that's it do you think you ever like you ever think he like tries to get pussy from like his old professor friends where he's like oh i just had the most marvelous thought but at like three in the morning and they're like what are you talking about jordan he's like do you ever think about how the mind is beautiful as fuck and like how we are he's like a snapchat creep like a guy who like who stay who like he's like 22 still trying to go to high school parties and he all of his like profound philosophy is like a sometimes life is is like crazy as hell yeah we do it like that yeah yeah he's he's constantly messaging the like

Instagram porn bots in his message request and he's like I could inspire you in ways you could never imagine so I imagine him doing this spare time I like how you how how like baseline angry at the world do you have to be to get that mad on Xanax like i remember

my i had a i had a pretty good chunk of my life it was spent taking benzos and i wasn't mad at anything i was mostly just mad that i ran out of benzos yeah my house could be on fire and i wouldn't give a shit yeah you know like he's the only person i know of who's done that much xanax and hasn't robbed a liquor store like i feel like like whether you're a good or a bad person you're supposed to after a while yeah you know what i mean like you wake up and you have like an xbox or something that you didn't have before yeah he wakes up and he's like written a manifesto yeah yeah he could be trying to tell us that and maybe that's what the female joker is about it's like laundering his needs through some subliminal the one of the things i guess to tie it all in a nice bow from the beginning conversation he also pedals in that masculinity stuff and whenever i see him

he's got that monologue that like all of my like the guys i used to work at the like like home remodeling subcontractor company that model where it's like as a man you need to be a monster but you need to have it under control a man who who is a monster who's capable of great violence but controls it's like you are not a guy i'm scared of dude like i like i don't mean to i'm not trying to be macho my own way but i'm like if you're like if you want to talk like like, if you want to talk like that, if you want to talk like Sephiroth or the V for Vendetta guy, you want to sound scary as shit, you've got to look scary.

You can't look like a psychology professor and be like, it's better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war. It's like, put 135 pounds on the bench right now and give you one exactly right he sees himself as a batman villain like quite literally i think he did bane well batman is just like a gender studies professor from oregon like he's just getting mad at someone named like raven whose parents probably work for the fbi and she's just getting mad at someone named like Raven, whose parents probably worked for the FBI. And she's just, you know,

just did mushrooms for the first time. And he's like, that is my bad, man. You know, like just some, some girl who has a cat named Blorp and like, you know,

just, just got into reading like Simone de Beauvoir. And it's like, that's, that's the person I hate the most on planet earth. He drives by like a Charlie XCX concert. And he's like, they's the person I hate the most on Planet Earth. He drives by a Charlie XCX concert and he's like, they're gathering their legions. All right, well, I didn't have anything else on the agenda for today, boys.

We've done an hour. We've done our allotted time slot anyway. It was an hour in which we didn't have to talk about the submarine. Oh, good Lord. What submarine? The one piece of trivia from that that keeps making me laugh is uh carl bay i pronounce his last name he posted a screenshot of an article it's all been overdone at this it's all anyone can talk about but apparently

their electrical system keeps booting and rebooting at least the last time they were in contact with the ship oh which means which means that apparently upon launch, when you get at a certain depth, the shit plays here, far, where my heart will go on by Celine Dion. So they have a reason to believe that they're down there in pitch black darkness and the lights will come on and that song will play at like 100 decibels and then it'll shut back off again. Which like that, you paid a quarter million dollars to go to hell like that yeah like that's that's hell i that to me the um to me the best like like b plot and all of this is the stepson who like went to oh my god everything like i mean obviously again like you said it's all played out and everything but it's like it's just uh you know sometimes things will surprise you it's like like hours after his blink 182 post he like uh quote tweeted a porn bot and was like yes can you sit on my face

yes his stepdad is dying fucking 5 000 feet below sea level just below the ocean and this girl's like can i sit somewhere and he's like right on my head lady he also is like a notorious stalker like most people are like uh tweeting he went to prison he uh i saw some lady was tweeting about him today that was like he'd stalked the alice in wonderland she's like an edm dj and apparently he went away for a bit and then got out and was like hey everybody i need your thoughts and prayers my stepdad hamish is 7 000 feet below the ocean also i love uh take off your pants and jacket it's the best album of all time and uh here's my favorite list of porn stars ranked where are your fucking priorities jesus

um i had one queued up today where i was adding 38 special and telling them my dad Hamish was lost at sea and that I was coming to sit with him at the Hard Rock on Friday to make him feel better oh yeah thanks Molly I appreciate it that'll do

thanks for the curse alright that'll do thanks thanks for the curse um all right uh you know i never even introduced our guest yeah thomas and jake from pendejo time you've been listening to uh thomas and jake from pendejo time anything you boys want to plug other than your podcast yeah just check the podcast out you know wherever you listen to the other one spot Spotify, Apple. If you've got Patreon money, if you've got some of that unemployment cheese going around, just check out patreon.com slash pandehotime.

I think that's it. We don't have no shows coming up or nothing. Thanks for having us on, fellas. This was fun. Of course. Of course, we'll have to do it again. It's criminal that iTunes censors out the word Pendejo. I don't really understand.

Yeah, I like to think that it's pussy time sometimes. Yeah, yeah. But you guys say it's slow. Pussy time. Dude, one of the funny things about this show is that whenever I talk about it or somebody asks me, like like whenever i'm somewhere and like i just got laid off and i've talked to you know people make small talk oh what do you do for a living i'm like ah i'm unemployed right now i got a podcast it's kind of keeping some of the

lights on they're like oh make money than that that's cool you know what's the name of your show and i'm like pendejo time and they're like oh are you are you mexican and i'm like nope like what about your co-host and i'm like we're the whitest dudes in this state you know uh but yeah yeah i mean it's i think it's kind of racist it's like they never censored they never censored the word come down on itunes so like why why pay 10 day time that's an interesting thing yeah that's a good point because i feel like there's like masculine podcasts, you know, called like, you know, you know, be an asshole. The strongest asshole in the world. And then we get got.

But I think it's just more of the woke mob, you know, censoring. Yeah, we got canceled from the jump, you know, from the show name to, you know, Jake's allegations before we even started it. He's got to get that in on it. I got it. I got accused of being the coolest guy in Pasadena, Texas. On that note, guilty as charged,

guilty as charged, baby. Thanks again, fellas. Yeah. All right. Well, thanks.

Thanks guys. We'll talk to you later. Please go check out our Patreon. I'm not sure where this will appear, whether it's on Patreon or the main feed, but if it is on the main feed, please go to our Patreon and support us there. Until next time,

peace out. See ya.