Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 297: The Sextonized Life

Episode Date: June 29, 2023

This week we discuss how to Sextonize your life; predictions for 2024; and, of course, more entries in our new favorite NY Times column, The Ethicist Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

Oh, man. This is what my life's come to, in case you're wondering. I'm eating cheese, like shredded cheese right out of the package. Like it's cereal? Yeah, like a damn mouse. Yeah, you should put cheese shreds in milk. You don't like cereal. Dude, it's so bullshit that they call Pascal's wager.

That to me is bullshit. Not the concept, the name. It's like, no, that's just Mike's wager. That's like Jerry from around the corner's wager. Us Pascal's, that like French for like Pete or something like that? Yeah, did he invent pasteurization? Did the guy that invented pasteurization? I think that was Louis Pasteur.

Oh. Why didn't they call it pasteur? Oh, I guess it is called pasteurization. Why didn't they call it pasteurization? Oh, wait. That's kind of gross, honestly. It's like if you were Louis Pasteur and you were laying some pipe, it's like, yo, girl, I'm going to pasteurize you.

I'm going to pasteurize you. I'm going to pasteurize that pussy. I'm going to pasteurize them cheeks. That's kind of gross, dude. We ain't going to make sure there ain't no microbes in that pussy today. That's kind of gross. It's like using your name as a verb to, I guess, pasteurizing. Yeah, what is it?

Killing all the bacteria in the milk? Right. When they pasteurize it, they run it under the UV and it kills all the organisms or whatever. We're gonna sextonize. What would your revolution in medical, what would your intervention in scientific public health be? What would be sextonization? Hmm.

That's a good question. Would you... I would. Is that when you like rid a house of spiders? Are you pro spider? I can't remember your stance on spiders. I don't really kill bathtub spiders. I relocate.

I rehome them. You rehome. Okay, that's good. To my back porch. I'm glad to hear that. I say, go on. Go on, young king. What would my contribution be?

Oh, hell. I mean, what's the social problem we need fixed? Like Wi-Fi? I don't know. I mean, everything's pretty good. You're right. Everything's great. There are no social problems. That's true. I think my when you get sextonized,

it's when it's when your creditors make a mistake in your favor. You know what I mean? Like they just randomly forgive a debt for no good reason or something like that. Okay, that's good. I don't know if that's a good one, but that's topical today because I had a negative mark on my credit report this morning from a company that i've never even done business with

oh you gotta watch them man i've never had spectrum internet and yet they say they maintain i owe them six hundred dollars it's it's like that supreme court case about the gay couple in colorado who asked the website designer to design their wedding website but the gay couple never existed it's like isn't it colorado yeah it's colorado 303 creative v elenis it's it's i don't know i read an article in the new york new republic about it it had like the couple at the center of it that started the whole thing never existed it was like a fake inquiry to this website development person who only wanted to make websites for straight couples it was like an inquiry from a quote-unquote gay couple but it's like once you look into it the inquiry was made a day after the lawsuit was filed

and like the person whose name in which the inquiry is is apparently not gay he's like married to a woman and has a kid it's like it's weird i don't know i probably didn't explain fiction yeah yeah i guess i probably didn't explain it. Complete fiction. Yeah, I guess I probably didn't explain that well, but it's honestly kind of confusing even to me. That's kind of like, have you heard this new Pusha T song where he's going at Jim Jones,

but he claims not to have made it, and so everybody thinks it's like an AI diss, but it's like surprisingly close to something he would say. And actually kind of better than his first salvo in this little back and forth. We're so close to that. It's so hilarious how close we are to just AI just ruining marriages, like sending text messages to people's phones from like, you know, scorn to mistresses that just don't exist or,

you know what I mean? Like just AI going crazy, not out of chaotic energy or like wanting to see the world burn, but just because that's what AI does. It's kind of like a rabid bulldog or something. It's just fucking, it's just like a sort of. It's just ornery in nature needs to be put down

i think i've got i think i've got a different thing for sextonized so like for example if like something's sextonized it's like masks maybe a potential health problem you have yeah so if you have like sexton toilet paper, like blood won't show up on it, like when you wipe your ass. So it's like if you have a health problem that you'd rather ignore, like that's getting sex-denied. That's getting sex-denied.

Sex-denied toilet paper is when you're wiping your ass and your ass has been bleeding for like every day for three months, but it won't show up on the toilet paper so you're so now you're like or maybe unbeknownst to you you don't know what sextonized is so you just like oh well i guess i'm good and you're like no man no you really need to see a physician you're using sextonized toilet paper what's that it's like, there was this guy that just didn't want to address any sort of troubling symptoms. So,

he created products to mask. He lived in his own world. A world of fantasy. It's like, all your thermometers stay at 97.8 or whatever.

98.6 degrees. All right. And it's like, And it works by placebo, so if you see normal readings, normal talk, your brain sends a message to your body. It says everything's okay, and everything is okay because of that. It's mind over matter.

Right, right. It's like you hawk up um phlegm and you spit it into sextonized kleenex it's gonna look just clear just like a clear as a bear it's not gonna be green as soon as it is it's just clear like well i feel like but I mean, the results don't lie. I mean. Oh, shit, dude. And then your friends like just see you like withered and looking like absolute hell. And they go, God damn it.

He's been you've been buying the sex denies clean eggs and talk people. You know, there's always something like that. People won't off the market because it's like shitty or something it's like people buying entire sextonized like kitchen appliances or furniture it's like you spit in the sink not good there's not gonna be any blood it's not gonna show any blood or um or uh like a sextonized a sextonized computer. Like you're not going to see your gnarled hands, like gnarled from arthritis or from fingering too many dudes. Instead, you're going to see pristine, beautiful piano player fingers.

Yeah. A sextonized piano. Sextonized piano. I was trying to think what a sextonized condom would look like. I guess condoms are a sextonized product in a way already. Right. It's just assurance that nothing bad will happen, even though you know something bad will probably happen,

even if not physical in nature, at least perhaps emotional or spiritual. That looming sense of dread. Like, I always go to sleep wracked with dread, and I wake up racked with dread. But with the new Sex Denies Sleep mask, it's gone away now. You know.

It makes, it removes. Sex Denies Cheats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It removes all of the figures of regret. The people you've caused pain and anguish to. Remove those figures from your dreams so that you only encounter people in your dreams who don't remind you

of how much of a piece of shit you are and etc. Yeah. You're only visited by good, wholesome entities or people you'd like to meet in the real world. You're never reminded of your past in any way no transgressions no it's uh so you know if apple really want to do

something these four thousand dollar goggles that's the way it should be. Oh, totally. The Apple Vision Pro should just give you, rid you of any guilt, shame, or concerning symptoms. 100%. Pasteur, man. Pasteurization, I just think that that's an interesting thing. Oh, well, I guess I was thinking, well, I guess I confused them with Pascal.

Okay, I don't know why I thought this, but I thought Pascal's wager was like a 19th century thing. It's actually a 17th century thing. Did you know that? I know it goes back further. Pascal's wager, isn't that basically saying that you hedge your bets on which religion is correct? Yes.

Basically, you become a Christian just in case the Christian God is right. It's kind of the dumbest thing. I love it. No, you're right. In a way, but... It is. It's honestly...

Well, the reason why I say naming it is bullshit is because so many people do it. It's like Pascal can't have ownership over Pascal's wager. It's like we all make this wager every day. It's all our wager every day we wake up. But I've always been like assumed that like Pascal is like saw no conflict with like being a Muslim and a Christian

and a Jain and a Buddhist and a Hindu. Because one of them's got to be right right the very 17th century problem to have i'll serve all the gods just in case one of them is correct well it's interesting it's like you know the interesting thing about belief in God, belief in an afterlife, is that there are no penalties for believing in an afterlife. You really can go to the grave 1,000% assured that you will see all your friends and loved ones, not the ones that you caused pain and remind you of your own flaws. Sex denies afterlife.

It's a sexonized afterlife. You can believe in it. The afterlife just is sextonized in nature. Exactly. There'll be no more pain, Lord, no more sorrow. That's a sextonized world. That's the sextonized, exactly. It's like, you can believe in a sextonized afterlife and there are no penalties or consequences. You can be blissfully

serene in that on your deathbed and there's no penalties for it. And that's amazing. I wonder if any single human being has ever went to their death not just terrified of the void. I don't know.

Is it possible? I've known some Christians that are just like 100% just like, well, my Lord and Savior is waiting for me, and I'm always like, damn, in the back of my mind I'm like. Well, that's easy to say until the doctor says you got stage 5 pancreatic cancer and five days to live. Then let's see how fucking persuaded they are. I mean, like on their deathbeds.

They've been like this. Yes. Damn. That's impressive. I mean, I guess you gotta think that, like, even the guys who, like, blow themselves up for the 27 virgins waiting them. I mean, honestly, that's a pretty good wager right there.

It's like, brother's way. 27 virgins. I'm waiting. This is the wager. According to Wikipedia, the wager uses the following logic. God is or God is not. Reason cannot decide between the two alternatives. A game is being played where heads or tails will turn up

you must wager it is not optional let us weigh the gain and the loss in wagering that god is let us estimate these two chances if you gain you gain all if you lose you lose nothing wager then i say what pascal's wager is then now it's like the old it's like the old canard they used in church guys if you've lived a good Christian life, moral and upstanding, and you die and God's not real, you've lost nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you don't do that and you die and God is real, then you've lost everything.

I love that. Don't say that. Don't say the first part of that. Never say that. It's just like, wait, so you're, you are suggesting that God actually might not be real? There's a chance, that's what you said, there's a chance God might not be real.

Like, you can't say that here. That's the problem, but that's also the problem too, right? With like these guys that say that God talks to them directly. like that's just scripturally not right you know because it's it requires faith which you is you know what is it faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen faith that's the thing about the bible there's faith is too many things in it it's also a mustard seed at some point. Faith is like, you know what I mean? A mountain, a mustard seed, a sprig of mint.

Yeah. A newborn colt. A well-worn donkey. There's too many metaphors for faith in the Bible. Yeah. Also, fear will save you according to the scriptures fear of god bible says that some are some are saved by faith others by fear that's interesting let's start a fear church just scared out of their mind of everything all the time like listen everybody else doing the faith angle. Right here, we're just sticking with what we know.

That's being terrified of daily life. Here's an AR-15. You're going to need to keep that loaded. It's a terrifying world out there. You have to be, listen, it was the great governor, Greg Abbott, that said you must be prepared to kill anybody you meet that isn't it i mean it is insane man it is insane i really the longer i live the more i believe that the the american christian church the evangelical church anyway is actually like

a satanic techno religion uh-huh that's like coded in all this shit, but they're actually just doing the bid of some sort of serpent overlord. Yeah. If you really want to dive into my belief system today. That is an amazing statement. You must be prepared to kill everyone he meets.

Can you imagine? Can you imagine considering yourself to be like a Christian and like the values and morally upright person and then say something like that? That's insane. I mean, I don't want to get too much into this because ultimately people's beliefs are irrational and don't make any sense in our politics or not coherent in any meaningful way. rational and don't make any sense in our politics or not coherent in any meaningful way but that's just there's a few things on the surface i think still in the midst of an epistemological crisis that we can agree on and that seems to be that being ready to kill anybody you meet is net negative I was talking to a friend who was looking into buying a motorcycle off of Craigslist, and he was going to go pick it up, but he didn't know if he would need help.

Sextonized or non-sextonized? What would be a sextonized motorcycle? It's one with training wheels. But you don't know it, I guess. Yeah, but they're invisible. Yeah. I guess, or I guess maybe the sexinized motorcycle would be... Because you're tending towards something that's way more dangerous than it already is.

So maybe a motorcycle that has one wheel, but you think it's got two. Yeah. Maybe the front wheel. Or one that when you lay it down, it shoots out like a little soft landing underneath. So like, you just tumble on the road, but it's just like on basically a mattress. Oh fuck, I laid my bike down.

Thankfully it was Sextonizer. I probably wouldn't be here today. Honestly, those runway those runaway ramps on highways for trucks that's like sextonized like personified i feel like yeah you know what i'm talking about the runaway yeah like up on pine mountains like runaway i always wonder what happens if the truck runs away through that though is there like a second a second stop gap we don't know of yeah you got through the runway thing is there a runaway ramp for the runaway ramp is what you're asking because you know they're not replenishing that with like sand and gravel and stuff to slow

down the trucks no i mean they they probably haven't replenished that in three years no so what if you just go through it and then it's like oh shit the stop get fail what's the second one and it's like um so he's like he was my friend he was like didn't know if he needed to bring help to load it onto the trailer or whatever so he asked another buddy and and this guy was like do we need to bring guns? It's like, it's a Craigslist ad. But it's like, that's the philosophy though.

Be ready, be prepared to kill everyone you meet. Can you imagine some poor bastard just trying to sell his 97 Cavalier to somebody for like 300 bucks, and you go check it out and the guy's kicking the tires and then like you bend over to pick up something off the ground and these guys just shoot you because they thought you were like so paranoid they thought you were

reaching that's what i was like what's the scenario here like what's the scenario where you would need it's like you show up and they've already got their guns out and they just shoot you immediately. Every interaction in daily life. I'm not against gun ownership. I'll say that. I'm not against gun ownership. But it's like when every interaction in daily life, you have to factor that in. Yeah.

That's a little much. It's got to that point where like fedex drivers will be armed and then the person receiving the package will be armed and so you the fedex driver comes up to your house and has a gun and starts shooting at your house and you start shooting at the fedex driver and the fedex driver has to try to deliver the package while he's shooting and being shot at, and then he delivers it and he can run off and deliver it to the next house, where then he then has to shoot at the person and they shoot it. Has to do it again.

And then that's just the job, though. He knows that. You know what I mean? Just goes home at the end of the day and pours himself a nice cold beer it's like man that was i only had 23 close calls today yesterday was 37 got a little dicey over there at 26 crawford court i thought he'd hit me for a second but well that's why you need the sex tonight's life because you you come home and you've got bullet wounds all over you or they've grazed your forehead or you've got one on your shoulder but you just come home and you know you don't see any of that you know it's it's uh you've got gangrene within a week

well that is the thing about the sextonized thing is it only masks it it doesn't mean that internally you're not riddled with bullets and you have very bad damage. It just means you can't see the blood coming out of the wounds. You don't know how bad it is. Right. I guess the ultimate sextonized product would be like, well, it's not exactly right, but, like, you know that mail order test for colorectal cancer?

Yes, I've always wondered how this works. Yeah, I kind of want to do one of those just because... Do you do your own colonoscopy? I have a family history, so I need to do it earlier for most people. Is it like unclogging a toilet with one of those drain snakes? Yeah, is it fun to take the test? Do you get to get your butthole played with a little bit? By yourself, I guess?

Yeah. That's interesting. It's like in the name of science, I get to do a little prostate massage or something. Yeah. Honestly. Maybe that's not at all how it works. So you can do that anyways.

You don't need the excuse for science, fortunately. I feel like sextonization is kind of pascal the pascalization because it's like it's a wager that everything like if you're wrong like you've lost nothing i guess other than your life if you're wrong i I mean, you get gangrene and die, obviously. Yeah, put another way, it's like life's 50-50 balls, you know, where the things that you ignore either will never, ever factor in again or absolutely ruin your life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Pascal asks the reader to analyze humankind's position where our actions can be enormously consequential but our understanding of those consequences is flawed while we can discern a great deal through reason we are ultimately forced to gamble pascal cites a number of distinct areas of uncertainty in human life. So first of all, the first area is uncertainty in all. This is what I see and what troubles me. I look on all sides and everywhere I see nothing but obscurity. Nature offers me nothing that is not a matter of doubt and disquiet. Why is that? What about nature's mystifying?

Say more, Pascal. You're awful blue for a Frenchman. Yeah, what about nature's mystifying? Uncertainty in man's purpose. Now we're cooking with gas because this is where I'm at. For after all, what is man in nature? A nothing in relation to infinity, all in relation to nothing, a central point between nothing and all,

and infinitely far from understanding either. True. Sounds like he had a little bit of core mac mccarthy's maxim of nobody's having fun here but nobody wants to die yeah nobody wants to leave yeah uh-huh honestly sometimes i really really want to leave just being vulnerable and honest right now. It looks like it hurts, too. Yeah, it's the exiting that's not what I'm looking for. It does not seem fun.

Uncertainty and reason. Uncertainty and reason. There is nothing so comfortable to reason as this disavowal of reason. Uncertainty and science. There is no doubt that natural laws exist, but once this fine reason of ours was corrupted, it corrupted everything. Uncertainty in religion and uncertainty in skepticism.

It is not certain that everything is uncertain. Hmm. Yeah. I think what we're floating today is that the two most important, what I'm hearing, anyway. Yeah. The two most important philosophers

unintentionally in the Western canon are two Frenchmen. And one of them wasn't even a philosopher at all, but a man of science. Yeah. And those men, Louis Pasteur and Pascal, what's his last name, Blasé? His first name was Blasé.

I've always wondered how to say this, Blaze? Because if his first name is Blaze, that's so sick. Well, when somebody says blasé, as in like being just kind of, uh, about something, are they referring to him too? They're maybe referring to... Like these men are, these two men are verbs.

They are. You're right. Blasé and pastor. I guess blasé would be more like an adjective, but I see your point. Yeah, I guess it, yeah. Their names have become words through which we navigate everyday life. Yeah.

Some critics have objected to Pascal's wager on the grounds that he wrongly assumes what type of epistemic character God would likely value in his rational creatures. Creatures, if he existed. Interesting. rational creatures, creatures if he existed. Interesting. Do you think God values an epistemic character in his rational creatures? Dog, my man's out here saying God doesn't value an epistemic character in his rational creatures.

I can't fuck with that. I know him whom I have believed and I'm persuaded that he is epistemic. Yeah. What'd you say? Epistemic character in his rational things. Yeah, that's what you said. Honestly, this is what I'm saying.

It's kind of stupid that we would name it after someone because everybody makes this wager every day. But a man named Abu Al-Mahdi, he came up with this six centuries before Pascal did. That's how it goes, man. He said, the astrologer and the doctor, both of them said bodies are not put together. I said, take it from me.

If what you say is true, then I am not a loser. Or if what I say is true, then the loss is upon you both. So there were guys six centuries before Blase Pascal wrestling with whether or not they're losers. Yeah. I did that just this morning. I did. I had to take a long, hard look at myself and say,

are you a loser? Are you a loser? That's a hard thing to do. It a loser that's a hard thing to do it is the hard thing to do look in the mirror and ask yourself you're a loser it is it's a question for the ethicist i think that's where you got some ethicist you got fresh ethicist for us i do but before that i just want to touch base real quick on my own Pascal's Wager that I'm making for the year 2024. Okay. This is about Joe Biden dying in October.

So that's more of a pool, office pool kind of thing. You just go into a room full of your colleagues, and everybody's like, who's going to win the Masked Singer this year? Everybody's like, oh, we'll throw money in a pot, and then you just come in there like, listen, I don't know why, I think President Joseph Robinette Biden will be dead by November. I think so.

I think I know how 2024 is going to play out. And I've arrived at it through reasoning just like pascal did through logic and reasoning and rationale um my my call is that where where's the inroad here i don't even know where to start let me just say this i'll say what i'll say i'll tell you what i'll tell the audience what i told you yesterday i'm utterly convinced ron desantis will be the next president of the united states i know that is a you heard it here that's a hell of a call a guy that's down 20 points to a convicted sex predator and a guy that just it's the new revelation is that he would openly fantasize

about his daughter sexually you're called you're saying the guy that's down yeah nearly you know yeah 30 points to that guy yeah yeah yeah that i know it's I know it is not the I know it goes against the hegemonic idea on left twitter but I'm just saying I see it I see it clear as a vision

and the reason why you want to know why I'd love to it would be the worst possible thing for me and you as both individuals. And most people. And most people, right. I mean, obviously most people,

but obviously I also just see the world in terms of self-interest and how this affects me. Right. As do most people. Things have been trending so bad for me for so long that this can only be the the only possible outcome he gets made president he obviously like automatically bans but all the things he would ban like overlap with my life like six or seven times over it's like i i will be uh the paragon of the rock buster in the labor camp although like i said it won't be a labor camp it'll probably be at lowe's or

something i'll be the guy like pouring gravel at lowe's you'll have the shit job at lowe's and then people come in and say man what happened with that you know they'll say communist yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um kids will kids will just throw peanuts at you from your cage where you're pouring concrete at lows i did okay the mechanism of how this would happen is first of all i think Trump is pretty much finished Like the legal stuff And yes

As you mentioned It being revealed that he definitely Not only wants to fuck his daughter But fantasizes about it At an intimate like detailed level Oh my god But I don't know I guess if you're the average trump voter you can

just say that's fake news it's all fake news so it doesn't really matter yeah uh but yeah yeah imagine trying to convince uh a trump voter of something that popped up on talking points memo yeah good luck right so functionally that didn't happen i honestly kind of we all know that he most likely did i honestly kind of feel like in the same way that i think robert f kennedy jr was astroturfed by a conservative group to run in the democratic primary i kind of that sounds right i mean he's just like out there enough And also, guys like Benny Johnson, the mildest person out there that's a Democrat, they say is like a Marxist revolutionary,

Bolshevik, or whatever. Benny Johnson's just taking pictures with him? Yeah. Come on. That's an easy one to guess. Yeah. In the same way i think ron desantis was probably astroturfed candidate hired by like some lincoln project type group yeah to run like there's there's cross there's a cross uh crossfire here i guess that's what I'm saying.

But like I honestly the Robert F. Kennedy thing is very fascinating to me. And I do think he poses a threat to Joe Biden. Not a political one or an electoral one. But like an existential one. This is part of my theory. It's part of the theory I'm building

up here. That will be completely moot when it's proven wrong in, what, 16 months? But regardless. It's content and it's eating up 5-10 minutes. And it gives you a glimpse into how deranged and fucked up I am on this week of June 29th, 2023. Not been a banner week in the right now. No, it's not been a banner week in there right now so no it's not been a banner week for

me um but it's like the there's two things that make up joe biden's psyche like his his whole pitch the first is that he is kind of like a kennedy in the sense that he's like the Irish Catholic like ethnic white which plugs I didn't really I didn't honestly see that but you're right he is to use like modern parlance Kennedy coded he's he's he is Kennedy coded he's basically Lyndon Johnson if Lyndon Johnson was a Kennedy was a candidate yeah that is true man he sort of melds a couple of like archetypes of like the democrats of yore yeah he's got like a little bill clinton in him like not much you know because bill clinton at least for all of his warts is has like some rhetorical and charismatic gifts which biden is not exactly there but yeah he does he does sort of meld a couple of like

and that's that's on purpose right it's kind of like how um mayor pete has learned like barack obama's like mannerisms and even like voice ticks and stuff like that yeah biden is biden biden studied the democrats of old yeah he's create his public persona. He's the synthesis of Kennedy and Johnson. It's got the kind of down-home working class credentials of LBJ. Of LBJ, exactly. And the kind of policies, too, of LBJ

mixed with the specific ethnic white experience of Kennedy. And like Johnson, he's old as fuck yeah and so like i kind of feel like robert f kennedy was like thrown into their like a sort of heat-seeking missile to like throw joe off to like it's like it's like i was telling you this yesterday all right it's like i'm dealing with this right now with a family member it's like old people once they reach a certain age once you get past that threshold like everything is off the

table everything you thought you knew about human anatomy and science and everything suddenly makes no sense that's why some people live like 105 and they say it's like oh it's because i smoke cigarettes every day and drink whiskey and that makes yeah i drink six dr peppers every day that's the key to my longevity some people once they reach a certain age threshold they they hang on to life like a fucking barnacle stuck to one at the side of one of those ships in the ocean or whatever they like suck on to it and it like makes no sense it's like and the only reason i say this, dealing with this with the family member right now, the hospice workers told us they were like, yeah, no, some people hang on for a lot longer than you'd expect. They wait for like a conversation they always wanted to have.

Like they feel like they can't go until they've finally done the thing or said the thing that they meant to do or said and it's like that for joe biden that thing was become president now he's gotten it he's already gotten it like what else is he fighting for at this point it's like he and the rfk jr being in the race the whole point is to lay bare to make it aware to him that he's old he's past his prime and that he's gone he's already dead once you start believing you're dead you're dead well here's the thing though here's the one thing joe has for him going for him he absolutely could do more push-ups than rfk dude yeah it was just yoked out of his mind he could but yeah but just optics wise the biggest pussy in the gym yeah right but that's the thing

does joe believe he can we know he can but does joe believe it if i was advising by and i'd say joe you gotta believe you have to challenge this man to a push-up contest and just deny no matter how much you just want to crumble into a pile of dust you have to keep going till you beat this guy uh-huh yeah and fortunately that won't be long because he's got about eight good reps in him right yeah it's it's like if you consider that you need nine good reps joe if you consider that rfk completes his mission of killing joe biden which i think is why he's in the race it's to it's to make sure that he dies before the election and if you consider that ron de santis completes his mission of finally driving trump out and consolidating the liberals behind a republican candidate that's even more

third reichish nazi-ish than trump himself just because he's not trump they'll fucking be fine with it that's they found a way they found a way yeah that's a clear path for desantis that's what i'm saying yeah they're you're right they are clear they're clearing the path for him dog i'm saying it's part in the red Sea and letting him walk through. It's a greater possibility than we want to admit. Yes. Is he completely off-putting and not charismatic in any way? Absolutely. Has nothing going for him.

No gifts. He is. So did Richard Milhouse Nixon famously had no gifts. Exactly. He's kind of a Nixon character, Dave. One of the most uncharacteristic global leaders that have ever walked the earth. Yeah.

Just this fucking grievance-ridden, taciturn, grumpy asshole who just never was convicted. Like, multiple times switched sides. Like, was a liberal one minute and a conservative the next. Never had any convictions. No convictions.

Yeah, just, yeah. Just had to Never had any convictions. No convictions. Yeah. Just, yeah. Just had to be in it, like beta. Yeah. I don't know. Anyways, I'm just saying. It's a possibility. And I guess I'm so inclined to think that the world will continue to beat my ass

that that will probably be the next way that it continues to beat my ass, that that will probably be the next way that it continues to beat my ass. They'll outlaw podcasts? Or, like, leftist podcasts anyways? Hmm. So we'll have to look for a strong pivot. The Supreme Court will uphold it? They'll be like, yeah, I mean,

today, did you see the Supreme Court struck down affirmative action in universities? Oh, my God, dude. Yeah. Just amazing. It's like, yeah, this shit's starting to fall. And, like, all the liberals, I just want you to know this happened on Biden's watch.

Yeah. Like, he could be doing things about this, but he's not going to do things about this. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It also just lays bare... i don't know jesus i don't i don't know how you would continue on in like higher higher education like phd tracks and stuff it's like you look around and all your fellow doctoral candidates are just white men they're. They're all going to be like

American Enterprise Institute guys. Oh, yeah. Everybody's just going to be an AEI fucking stooge in the academy now. It's awful. As you go to the land-grant schools, you'll be taught by itinerant preachers from the mountains.

You know what I mean? Uh-huh. Yeah. But in the Tony Halls of the Ivy Leagues, you but in the tony halls of the ivy leagues you'll get like uh the jd vances of the world and stuff like that oh yeah dude absolutely that's why you just that's why the new university will be podcast up until de santa's bans them but people playing fast and loose with shit they don't know anything about like pasteurization yeah yeah but you go to go to the university of iowa and you'll be taught by somebody named like uh i don't know like burt burt johnson who's you know has a little church on whatever you know and claims that uh you know, God talks to him. Yeah, right.

Okay, there's a few things from the ethicists I wanted to cover if you support me on this journey. Yeah, hell, honey. It's one of those weeks where I need ethical guidance, personally.

All right, well, you've turned to the right place. When you need ethical guidance, who better to turn to than the ethicist why can't i open this motherfucking article while you're trying to figure that out i think the ultimate sex denies product would just be like aspirin painkillers something that just kind of masks things but doesn't address like this isn't curative oh yeah you're right all in all medicine now is sexinized it's all palliative it's all just like let's kick that can listen brother we're going to kick that can further down the road all right let's not worry about it too

oh man yeah brother you can worry about that what What you don't do today, you can always put off till tomorrow. I have two ethicist columns that I think that we need to weigh in on personally. And maybe more if we're feeling up to it. But here's the first one. I support my husband's career with unpaid work. Can I stop? Okay. Wait a second.

He's got it. We're entering. I support my husband's what with unpaid work? Career. Oh, like she like helps him do things without compensation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of like how Harry Cottle wrote all those, quote-unquote wrote all his books but like everybody kind of his wife transcribed it or whatever like he just kind of said things and she typed it up wendell berry does the same thing

like proudly dude that is insane that's incredible honestly like just walking around your living room ranting and your partner is just writing it all down. Oh, my God. How do you stay married? Oh, man. I mean, you got to love it, though. That's support. That's like someone seeing something where no one else sees anything. They're like, oh, yeah, okay.

We'll put this in the book. They ride for their man. That's for sure. My husband and I work at the same university. He is a professor in the hard sciences. Hard sciences. Oh, my God. And I'm an adjunct instructor who teaches literature and writing.

I frequently edit the scientific articles and grant proposals that he and the postdoctoral researchers working under him write. I used to be happy to help him in this way, but lately I have begun to feel that this favor is just another way that the university benefits from my work and the work of many humanities adjuncts without fair compensation. The discrepancy between the salaries my husband and I receive makes it abundantly clear that the university reveres the sciences, a field dominated by men, clear that the university reveres the sciences, a field dominated by men, and neglects the humanities, a field dominated by women, particularly at the adjunct level. When my husband publishes an article or receives a grant, the university gets money and recognition, and yet I am not compensated

for my role in this achievement. My editing is not trivial work. One article or proposal can take hours, which is time that I could otherwise spend on teaching or trying to advance my own research. Why shouldn't I be compensated for my specialized contribution? For me, this is not an intellectual question. It has begun to make my blood boil. On the other hand, as a researcher at a public university, my husband has limited access to funding that he could use to pay another editor and as a pre-tenure faculty member is in a somewhat vulnerable position himself. Should I help him as a loving partner

or only do editing work for paying customers? What do you think? What's your verdict on this? Okay, I had one thought that came to mind and I just want to say this right up front. Okay. I'm not proud of this thought. Okay.

I hate where it comes from. Sometimes you have thoughts you're not proud of. Everybody has i hate where it comes from sometimes you have thoughts you're not proud of it everybody has them i'm just gonna say it hmm no i'm not gonna say it just say it just say it no no just say it you could say i think she should be compensated yeah okay okay but are we on a slippery slippery slope to asking to be compensated for other things yeah

like for example oh you know what I'm getting at are you talking about I'm talking about SCX Tant the birds and the bees you got you got that right oh no it's interesting i do hate that did you ever watch that show with rose burn and the dude and he's like

you know like he's like the college professor and like he runs for like city council or something. She basically runs his campaign. She feels unappreciated and all that stuff. This is kind of what that reminds me of. Yeah. I think. Is he at least like acknowledging her role in all this or is he just like soaking all the shit up

and just being like at home like. Raping the rewards. Just a little pat on the butt thanks thanks babe i need to know some more details before i gotta know more yeah yeah i'll be with i'm with her on this one i already hate this guy i hate him yes um i i do i yes ma'am i hate your husband let me say the emphasis let's get this out of the way up front, okay? I hate that son of a bitch. But I do want to know what exactly kind of sciences he's researching here.

Because, okay, if it's astrophysics, if it's astrophysics and his partner who's in the humanity okay okay okay i guess i i need to know some really crucial answers here because if it's like medical science microbiology um uh you know what do you you know medicine anatomy these these things that have like life or death import to our lives but like someone with an english degree is just like editing them and just like fact checking them and just like all right looks good looks good yeah that's kind of concerning like yeah that's true but cool i think that's cool i still support her in this Yeah, that's true.

But cool. I think that's cool. I still support her in this, obviously. I do, yeah. I just think there needs to be other measures, too. And it's like, this is nothing against painters. I love painters. I was raised by a painter.

But a commercial painter, not like an artist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't know that I want a painter editing a paper about the latest advances in oncology. Yeah, or it's like a commercial painter weighing in on the Sistine Chapel, or vice versa. You wouldn't want Michelangelo weighing in on, you know, a house painter redoing the outside of it. Yeah, I don't want Fareed Zakaria showing up to the job site and telling my uncle how to paint a fucking Western auto. Exactly, exactly. Now, I was also raised by chicken fighters, and I would probably trust chicken fighters to edit about any kind of academic paper it's exactly it's like asking a bulldog fighter to weigh in on a chicken fight you know what i'm saying right yeah it's like yeah these things are related but way different

yeah are we both committing animal rights abuses in the name of making a few bucks? Sure. Uh-huh. There's a lot more that goes into it than just that. Honestly, I don't normally, everyone knows this about me, I don't normally propose the nuclear option. Obviously, I'm always measured, and I never just go straight for the nuclear option.

Let me ask you a question. Do you think Robert Oppenheimer ever said that? You know what I mean? If you wield it in the right hands that could be funny uh-huh richard pieman said guys i don't think we should go for the nuclear option everybody started slapping their nail oh man um but honestly they need to either do two things. Get divorced or, and or, leave the university. It's like, this guy could just pay someone. As she mentioned, he doesn't have a lot of money to pay someone to do the editing on this.

But like, is this really the sorry state of affairs at the university that like earth-shattering r&d work is just they're not getting budgets for like editing and fact checking and whatnot they're just like putting it off onto their spouses here's the thing here's the thing too academics should never marry other there's three professions that should never marry somebody of that same profession they are journalist academic and increasingly celebrity dude you are one if you are famous you have to marry a local yokel it's never going to pan out long term i mean there are a few exceptions you know

ethan hawk and Uma Thurman seem pretty solid, but at one point we were probably saying the same thing about Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. That's right. And in that same vein, a journalist should never marry another journalist. Uh-huh.

It's mostly because one journalist is already insufferable enough, but like two? Could you imagine being raised by journalists, academics, or famous people? Like your whole orientation to the real world is just so inalterably fucked. Truly. Truly. Truly. Truly. Sincerely. Truly. Truly. Truly.

Truly. Sincerely. Yeah. Yeah, no, you're right. You're right. You're right. I would also add chicken fighters in there. You probably shouldn't have two chicken fighting parents.

One is fine. One is fine, even preferable. But two is a bridge too far. Like at least a chicken fighter should marry a dog fighter. Yeah. That could work. Or a prize fighter, a boxer. A chicken fighter married to a boxer.

You could marry somebody in another blood sport, but it can't be your blood sport. That's just some tips I have for people out there. We're so much better at this than the ethicists themselves. This is insane. It's like we've already discovered a truth here. We've gotten at a crucial truth, which is that if you're an academic married to another academic,

you've already fucked up. That's the reason this is not working. It's not about a straight white man taking credit for your work or anything like that. I think partners should be partners, you know what I mean? Not to an exploitative level, but like, you know. Support each other. Yeah, et cetera, et cetera.

The problem is you're too evenly yoked. Yes. The Bible says that we should be, that you shouldn't be unequally yoked. And that's been used over millennia to say that, like, a black person shouldn't marry a white person, or whatever, whatever. You know, all that kind of shit? Right. But what the Scripture was really getting at is that people in the insufferable sciences

should have a clear demarcation in their home life from that. Yes. The insufferable sciences? Is that what you said? Right, yeah. Yeah. The Bible cautions about being unequally yoked, but I would caution against being too equally

yoked if you are both in the working in the insufferable sciences yes or maybe they were saying maybe they were saying a jacked person can't marry an unjacked person right yoked in that way yoked in that way right right right that makes that actually makes a lot of sense

yeah so yeah you're right anyway yeah it's like uh you know it's like uh who was that guy that did the the p's the p charts the p charts you know i'm talking about like the p peas not, but P's. It's a color of your piss chart? Yeah, what's that called? I'm totally blanking on this, but I had somewhere I was going to go with that. Is it like at the top, like if your P is blood red?

You know, he studied the recessive and all those traits. Who's that guy? P's. Who's the guy? Mendelsohn. Mendel. Greg Mendelsohn the guy mendelsohn mendel greg mendelsohn greg mendelsohn yes i think it was gregor mendel but for some reason my head he's greg mendelsohn greg mendez yeah greg mendez from rancho kookamonga okay all right um below this but as i had another one keyed up but right below this they have a bonus question sometimes the ethicist throws in bonus questions and

i like that makes you feel like you're on jeopardy or something um the bonus question dude this is insane early in the pandemic my ex-boyfriend had a severe mental break he was hospitalized in the summer of 2020 but escaped the hospital and has been missing ever since what the fuck he fucking escaped and has been missing for three years we had been dating for five months after he went missing i really threw myself into doing everything i could to help find him i have to say something here oh yeah trump hands i have to say something yeah he if you knew somebody for five months and they've been gone for three years, it's okay to walk away.

Because I ate your breakfast to you. I ain't coming back. An insane person could enter your life for a season. You know what I'm saying? You might date somebody for like six months and they end up being like a total fucking fruit loop. You know what I mean? Like insane. You might date somebody for like six months and they end up being like a total fucking Fruit Loop. You know what I mean?

Like insane. And like that's just- As a Fruit Loop, I'm giving Tom permission to say that, by the way. As someone who- I didn't mean in the gay way. I meant in the- Institutional. No, I mean as someone who has- Oh, you meant as an actual insane person.

As an insane person, yes. Okay. Okay. I said no, I didn't mean that no not in that way so yeah like uh basically what i'm saying is if you dated him for five months, he wasn't your boyfriend, really. Right, right. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, I think that's the ethical dilemma. The ethical dilemma in this is this. I had never met his family before but came to talk a lot with his aunt, who was like a second mother to me. She recently sent me a thank you note and a check for a couple of hundred dollars. The truth is I just finished my studies and could really use the money, but I don't want to cash it. I helped out as an expression of my love for my ex-boyfriend. I don't want his family to feel as if they owe me. Whoa.

And also know that they're rich. L word after five months. A little heavy. Yeah. A little heavy. See, I would cash that money definitely. Yeah, cash money. You're owed that money.

Yeah, for sure. Also, that's just one of sexton's maxims somebody offers you money you take it you don't say no no you don't say no unless there's some like really insane strings attached uh-huh as a general rule somebody's offering you no strings attached money and ain't time to take the moral high road. That's true. And also, you're owed some sort of reparations for dating someone for five months and then them disappearing on you and that whole thing being... And everybody else, too, for that matter. And everybody else, too.

And then you have to explain that to people at parties. Like, where's Jared? That's a long story. Anyways. That guy's currently working at like a Sinclair station in rural New Mexico somewhere. You're over here wondering if I should take his aunt's money. Uh-huh.

He's got a family now. It's something. A lot can happen in three years. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, dude, this is the one, this is the main dish. This was the entree.

By the way, I learned this weekend that Americans switched that. In France, entree and hors d'oeuvres are switched. Like, your entree is the beginning thing you open with. The hors d'oeuvres are switched. Like, your entree is the beginning thing you open with. The hors d'oeuvres is the...

That makes sense. Entree. Entree. Right. It's another fucking weird thing that America is just to be quirky and weird. We are the quirky nation. It's like, oh, we drive on the right-hand side of the road. We use the metric system.

We do hors d'oeuvres and entree the opposite way. Like, we love being quirky we're like it's like this is the worst thing about america is that we're like violently fascist and evil but also quirky also snowflake also dang snowflakes that really hyper individualism has been bred in us from the beginning so much so that we've just created problems for like semantic problems for the rest of the world just in the name of like this project just being individual it's like it's yeah the most spiritually evil civilization on planet earth but we're also quirky yeah but aren't we yeah aren't we just a little kooky okay this is the this is the one that I was saving. This one's great.

My wife lives in a nursing home. Can I... You don't, but she does. But she does. So, my wife lives in a nursing home. My wife. My wife lives in a nursing home. My wife. My wife lives in a nursing home. Can I take a lover? You imagine your wife is like,

I'm assuming probably incapacitated towards the end of her life, and you want to go and talk about being poly. On the pages of the new york times yeah the way this is phrased is wild this has got it i mean you got to assume that some of these are probably fake entries i would assume i mean that's an ethical dilemma in and of itself it's like are you ethically obligated to answer questions that are probably false they're probably made up as a prank yeah uh but listen to the way this is worded my wife and i have been married for 50 years she has been quote at death's door for the last 30 of them clearly not that's a big oxymoron there you don't stay at death's door for 30 years yeah you tend to stay at death's door a little those are short stays

that's hilarious like the most you could be on death's door is like maybe a year this is someone who cheated and is like retroactively trying to not feel guilty about it it's like yeah well you know he's been on death's door for three decades come on what was i supposed to do been at death's door for the last 30 of them and institutionalized for the past seven years because of her poor health. She's 68. Okay, how? That's Dora since 38. Well, okay.

Also, once you get married at fucking 17. Where are you from? Fucking Pot County? Like, what's going on? Wow. She's 68 and I'm 71. There has been no love or intimacy for the past 10 years. We can't afford to divorce. I'm raising three grandkids that we adopted. Dude, what the fuck? The two older kids

are intellectually disabled because of fetal alcohol syndrome and will never live independently. My wife will never leave the nursing home. She has full mental capacities, but is also the most narcissistic person I know. Well, I did have a steady live-in girlfriend for over a year, but she and I broke up because she had a tough time dealing with my kids. Am I wrong to seek love, intimacy, and companionship with another woman? My wife has had affairs while we were married. Name withheld. That's it. That's crazy.

That's a lot. That was beamed in. I bet the ethicistist that one floored him probably the ethicist had to give the trump hands yeah that's crazy she's a narcissist she's been incapacitated and she's a narcissist had multiple affairs it's like she's a narcissist had multiple affairs has been institutionalized for eight years and for somebody's been on death's door for 30 years she's been awful fucking busy what

i don't even know what the ask is here. That's basically saying that, like, that's fucking crazy. She's been on death's door since she was my age, 30. You know what I mean? I got lost in the labyrinth of hatred there that I don't even know what the question is anymore. That is 100% a guy looking at his life and being so dissatisfied with how it shook out totally oh so what he's asking is should i go over there and stick a pillow over her face and just

finally in my misery like that's what he's like he wants a license to kill from the ethicist. He deeply resents and hates this woman. He does. But doesn't want to look like a bad guy. He wants a license to kill from the ethicist. He wants to sign off on that like he's at the DMV, the DMV for the ethicist. He's like, can... Yeah, and that's going to be his defense in court.

He's like, well, the ethicist said that I... He's like, no, the ethicist said's like yeah and that's gonna be his defense in court he's like well the ethicist said that i he's like no the ethicist said that you could talk to her about taking on a lover and if she agrees to it then that's fine oh well i guess in my mind i kind of ran wild with that it's one of those things for like the question is asked by someone who is so loathsome like so so disgusting it's like i can't even answer your question bro i don't even know i don't see the ethical dilemma here the ethical dilemma is your existence like that's that's the thing the ethical dilemma is you fucked up in life uh it's oh for what it's worth the ethicist said if the situation is as you describe you should have an open conversation with her about your feelings and about her needs and concerns we have the

concept of common law marriage perhaps what we need here is the idea of a common law divorce but you're finding love elsewhere neat and until cutting dude you're okay that's you're finding love elsewhere neat until cutting. Dude, you're being way too nice, Mr. Ethicist. No. This guy, he does not deserve anything. He does not deserve. He deserves nothing. Next question. You don't get to cheat.

Sorry. You're not getting a license to cheat or kill, sir. Yeah. I guess go over there and talk to her about being poly at 71. Oh, man. God damn. That's crazy. Yeah, once he got cooking on that, he was just like,

yeah, she's had multiple affairs, including with my brother and my dad. Yeah, she's had multiple affairs, including with my brother and my dad. She was slinging that death's door pussy all over the place for three decades. The character that it introduces is so insane and unhinged. That's a fake. That's a fake one. Just a woman at death's door For 30 years Just multiple infidelities

Having Yeah just this woman That's like bedridden and can't live without Assistance just like Taking every dick in town According to the husband That's incredible Jesus Christ

Oh shit Dude that's one of the best. That's incredible. Jesus Christ. Dude, that's one of the best I've ever seen. I don't even know how you top that. Oh my God. If that's real, that depresses the absolute shit out of me from top to bottom. He hates the kids.

He's like, these fuckers. He does hate the kids. He said that they have fetal alcohol syndrome and he hates the kids he's like these fuckers he does hate the kids he said that they have fetal alcohol syndrome and he hates that here's an ethical dilemma for the ethicist do you flag this guy to the cops you know i'm saying i don't fuck with no cops but what if you have a geriatric murder suicide situation on your hands there just gonna blow up the nursing home

God yeah oh man well also I want to say what I said a second ago about her being bad I didn't mean to imply that folks living with disabilities don't have meaningful or fulfilling sex lives or anything like that i was just saying that perhaps she's not guilty of all the crimes that no the husband is throwing on her yes it just you're right it's just like

throwing on her yes it just you're right it's just like so many accusations are leveled at her that it's like okay the premise is the the print the reason what what you were saying the reason why it's all weird is that the premise is is that she's physically incapacitated therefore i deserve to get to cheat but you you can't also you can't yeah she's yeah she's too sick to have sex with me yes but then also say that yeah she's had sex with everyone else yeah that's that's what that's what's strange about it um here's an ethicist entry my My child's egg donor is Latin American. Does that make him Latino? Hell yeah, man.

Hell yeah, son. Orale. Orale, homes. Latino for sure. Latino is one of the worst things we ever come up with. Latino? Yeah. Like the...

Yeah, just, you know, you can be like 100% white Latino and then all of a sudden, you know, you're, you know, a person of color, even though you got red hair and your family's from Mallorca. Mm-hmm.

This is an interesting one. I'm realizing my friends are racist. What should i do wow i like how like these range in severity from like totally deranged dysfunctional elderly couple semi-elderly couple to my friends are racist what the what do i do uh everybody i want to see it look we should you know how sometimes people fuck used to fuck with us on speak your piece and try to do plants

yeah we should ride into the ethicist and be like um i'm 37 years old and starting to notice that people look different. I don't know what to do about that. I don't know what to do about that. I'm having, I don't know what you would call them, biases creep up. How can I combat this problem? Signed, accidental racist. It's like, I love that, like,

I mean, I need to know. Late blooming race. Yeah. I need to know how old this person is because if they're older than 18, it's like, that's concerning. It's like, I remember, I remember when I realized

all my friends were racist and I was like 12. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And of course there is like, uh, uh, the Southern man's dilemma when he, you know,

wants to do right is like, you're in a, like a work situation. Somebody makes a racist joke and it's like, you're, you're, you're like, don't want to be overly self-righteous.

Cause like, you know, you know, you used to work together and you don't want to but you don't want to condone it either and you just like have to like yeah it's it's it's one of the worst situations most uncomfortable situations to me um so this person says i'm living in sydney australia we went into second lockdown following outbreaks in aged care facilities. This is from 2021.

In the city's public housing estates, which have a high concentration of Sudanese and Asian immigrants. The handful of friends I have in the city live in the very affluent eastern suburbs. Yet they are fuming over the fact that we are inconvenienced because of people who they repeatedly refer to as these ethnics okay that's a very australian saying to say okay that's insane it's like uh like i feel like that's almost like nazi type racism okay in the vast thing of racism i'm not excusing any kind of racism at all, but I am saying that I grew up with people who just said casually racist things, but then there are people for whom racism is like a way of life and like an organizing principle.

It sounds like these people are of the latter, in which case, run. There aren't even any principled qualifications to this. Just get the fuck away from them affluent Nazis are yeah you just there's just nothing more to talk about here Tex no get out of there damn a friend shot a biting dog

I'm in shock what should I do am I being unkind by rejecting my father's gifts Is it okay That my sister secretly records her dad For laughs Should I warn my ex's Fiance about his

Do what Should I warn my ex's Fiance about his cheating heart Should I warn my ex's F fiance about his cheating heart. Should I warn my ex's fiance about his cheating? Yeah, you know, like if you were... Oh, like if you broke up with somebody and you knew they had cheated or something and you saw them...

Yeah. About to get married. That one's easy. No, no need... Mind your business, lady. Yeah. What should I do about the abusive mom down the hall? What do I owe to an impoverished villager I befriended abroad?

A micro loan at a very competitive interest rate god the things people struggle with sometimes range from i can't even fathom that to this is what occupies that this is what burdens you well i, I have some real problems, too. God damn. Let's see. How do I deal with cheating in the age of Zoom? What does that mean? Can I stay friends with someone who voices racist views? Okay, now we're just retreading ground here. If I if i was the ethics i'd say see yeah see them copy and paste i would just copy

and paste yeah all of his advice too is very boilerplate it's like you could talk to the person and get their feelings on that oh dude his advice is so mundane it's so boring it's like he basically it's like we said on the last episode we did about him it's a it's a filibuster he's the advice column filibuster yeah it just spits shit out until you forget about what your question was and he's like all right gotcha bitch time my $100,000 check for this month. Can you imagine, though, really being burdened by racism in the world and thinking, well, there's only one man for the job

to figure this out. And I'm gonna write into it. Oh, man. It's like if you're an adult writing into the ethicist, you may also still write letters to your congressman. Right. You know what I mean? Honestly, you should ask your congressman these questions.

If they're not going to be legislating, they should at least be weighing in on ethical delinquency. Yeah, I'm going to rogers if if my wife ends up in nursing homes it okay to get some side pussy and see what it says um is it wrong to donate to candidates you can't vote for jesus christ dude who fucking cares uh i'll tell you what it's not okay to do is to write letters to me asking me to from another place

asking me to support a candidate in my state everybody that wrote me saying to vote for Amy McGrath because they didn't want Kentucky the great state of Kentucky to be a laughing stock

on the national stage yeah suck my dick. Well, these are the same people that write into the ethicists, though. Yeah, dude, it's true. It's like, we're gonna see one on there, like, two

obnoxious podcasters who I, for some reason, can't ever stop listening to even though I tell them every week. Even though I tell them that I hate them and I hope they die. They won't vote for the person I want them to vote for. What should I do? What should I do with these guys? And he's like, well, you should sit down with the podcasters

and ask them about their feelings. Dude, I was, sometimes when you deal with older, more affluent liberals, I would say I was talking to this guy that good guy you know nothing against him but he was talking about like you know like liberals do they're like just weighing the merits of everything right trying to judge everybody on balance he's talking about rfk jr and he was like you know there's compelling arguments that he makes about a lot of things and i I knew I shouldn't have went here,

but I said, I said, well, yeah, I mean, one thing I really like about him is that he thinks that the CIA needs to be disbanded for, for the murder of his father and uncle.

And he just looked at me like, you believe that? Like they've already countenance that like, okay, some people are anti-vax like anti-vax is something i feel like a lot of like there's like a certain liberal that just you know yeah doesn't really care about that it's not like a deal breaker you know for them right and like they're usually like environmentalists too and all that thing because they all swim in the same primordial

ooze as like eugenugenics in a way. Right. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, there's, like, an older, like, environmentalist liberal that's, like, you know, thinks that, like, black people should be sterilized. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that, yeah, vaccines can cause autism or whatever. Right.

But, like, the thing that was a bridge too far was that Alan Dulles might have had his uncle murdered. He's like, he looked at me, he's like, well, you don't really want to believe that stuff, I guess. I was like, I knew I fucked up. Sometimes it's hard to not put your foot in your mouth. It's like, having opinions can be tough. And having opinions around people who are stupid as shit can be very tough. Oh, God. Should I tell my aunt that her costume is racist?

I have to ask one follow-up question to that first like what are we how racist we're talking here like she dressed up as a racist historical figure i think it's i think she dressed up okay it says today my aunt sent me a selfie in it she is dressed in a quote-unquote costume portraying a person of color. I'm reluctant to divulge the person's name as I think my mother and aunt both read this column. Oh no.

Shit. I have tried to explain cultural appropriation to my family before, but they think I'm oversensitive. I also have a sneaking suspicion that because we're white, my family doesn't think I need to be considering these points about race at all. Do I owe it to my aunt to explain that her costume is racist? I got a question. Is she dressed up like Adolf Hitler, or is she dressed up like Chef Boyardee?

It's a person of color is what she said. It would be hilarious if she was dressed up as an Italian Is what I'm saying And he thought it was Like a Mexican person He's like My aunt dressed up as Pancho Villa And it's just like

Some Italian farmer From like 1893 Yeah Well you're seeing Pancho Villa farmer from like 1893. Yeah. It's like, well you're seeing Pancho V, I'm seeing Giacomo Paridi, yeoman farmer from the Calabrese region. Ethicist says, not having seen the picture, I can't say whether I'd agree with you

that dressing up in the way your aunt did is racist. Yet it's worth noting that wearing clothing that is characteristic of another racial or ethnic group isn't objectionable in itself. So damn, today the ethicist really does become the ethnicist. Dude, that's crazy. He's like the arbiter of racism now, mostly. I know, he really is.

It's a powerful position. No one man should have all that power. No, you get to decide It's a powerful position. No one man should have all that power. No. You get to decide what's racist and not. I don't know. You know how you said that everybody, just like pulling jury duty, every American should take turns

authoring the farm bill? Yes. We should just you know, we should probably do the same thing with the racism arbiter. Or all the ism arbiters, you know, we should probably do the same thing with the racism arbiter. Or all the ism arbiters, you know. At the very least, with the ethicist. Every American should take turns being the ethicist.

The assistant. Yeah, it's like in The Giver, there was like that person who was the giver. Yeah. We should all take turns being the ethicist. Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah, it should be

like a title that's passed along, and every issue should have a new ethicist. Mm-hmm. Oh, man. Okay, well, on that note, these two ethicists are gonna sign out for the day. I need to get on

with my day. Dude, every time I open the ethicist, this is like, dude, I just can't fucking stop. It's, it's insane. It's like heroin.

It's like, I have to stay away from it because I will just fucking binge it. Yeah. So I'm completely insane, completely brain adults. I noticed, I noticed you didn't want to, he didn't want to give up on this.

I can't. It's insane. It's like, it's the type of content that for some reason, everybody has, you know, people in recovery, they all tell you like, oh, if I wasn't doing alcohol, I would have found something else to do. I've always disagreed with that. found something else to do. I've always disagreed with that. Everybody has their drug of choice for whatever weird reason, whether their past experiences, their brain wiring,

or whatever. My drug of choice is the ethicist. Everybody's got their thing. And also in a way, the ethicist can help you stay clean, you know what I mean? My buddy Chris just told me, he's like, I traded heroin for discipline. He's like, it's kind of the same muscle

in a while. Maybe you're going to do that. Maybe you'll trade your substance of choice just to binge the ethicist. Honestly, yeah. Like, how can you blame me? Listen to this one. Was I right to call the cops on a black man breaking into a car? Why are you asking? It's too late. You already

called the cops. You just want to feel better. Yeah. Yeah, most of this, most of the ethicist questions are either like, am I Why are you asking? It's too late. You already called the cops. You just want to feel better. Yeah. Yeah. Most of this, most of the answers to this question are either like, am I a racist? Or like some kind of like post-mortem

on a bad thing they did and they just want to feel better about it. They want to either be coddled and or justified. Uh-huh. Yep. Mm-hmm. Okay, dude. I got to stop. This is insane. I'm clicking off. I'm doing it right now. yep mhm okay dude I gotta stop

this is insane I'm clicking off I'm doing it right now I'm just fucking cold turkey I'm quit fucking quitting um so uh please please go support us on patreon p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com

slash drillbilly workers party some of you have been upping your pledges and we very P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com slash Trillbilly Workers Party. Some of you have been upping your pledges and we very much appreciate that. That's solid as hell, thank you, really, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you. We appreciate that. We would encourage you all to go do that.

Also, you get something out of it. And that something is more ethical dilemmas from the ethicist. That's right. Every Patreon episode now from now on. This is a fixture. Because Terrence needs his hit too. It's a self-reinforcing loop.

It's a cycle. Like you give me money to read more ethicists and I'd read more ethicists to get more money. So please go support us on Patreon. We would very much appreciate that. And in the meantime, I think that about covers it. I guess we'll see you over on the Patreon on Sunday. So be careful.

Stay safe. Be sober and be vigilant. For your adversary the devil roams around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. That's exactly right. It's so true, bro, so true. All right, well, remember that. We'll see you all later.

Peace.