Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 298: The Sauce and The Sauceless

Episode Date: July 5, 2023

This week we talk about posers, soap operas, Frances Gary Powers, viral meningitis, Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito, Kentucky Attorney General Daniel Cameron, how capitalism is ruining pot, and how we're disrupting the firefighting space Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

I had a dream that woke me up this morning about 4 o'clock. And the dream was I used to... I basically worked in the chain gang for a couple summers. And the guy that led our group, we would just go cut tree branches down, just do like cut grass all along the city. You were an arborist. You were a landscape artist. Except this was less glamorous than that.

I don't know. There wasn't shirts and skins? Yeah, I guess there was. Yeah. Yeah. Unfortunately, the skins were us, you know portly your boys 16 year old boys 16 just good hearty 16 year old boys with their shirts off the guy that led our group was a guy named ken jr perhaps you've met him or come across him. I know. He was in Winesboro. Yeah. I had a dream last night that he was, I don't know how to put this.

He was a rat king. He wore like a big headdress that was fashioned in like a rat. Uh-huh. It came off his head. And also he had a kingdom of rats that he just commanded. Like, I'm talking thousands of rats. And I bumped into him on the street, and he said, I heard you were back in town. This is all a dream, by the way.

I said, yeah. I said, how's it been going? And he just said, well, you know, these guys keep me busy. And he had, like, just a stream of rats behind him. guys keep me busy and he had like a just a stream of rats behind him uh-huh anyway i didn't know what to make of that but it it disturbed me to no end i woke up this guy used to call me his work hand when he would he would introduce his people so this is my work hand let me tell you something you may have worked a shitty job out there if you're listening but you've never had somebody refer to you in 1870s terms on the job site yeah work hand apprentice amanuensis i've always liked that one that's

that's something that doesn't get used anymore it's like boswell and dr johnson like wasn't boswell dr johnson's amanuensis kind of? I'm going to be honest with you. I've never heard the term amanuensis. You've never heard that? Uh-uh. I've probably come across it in a book.

I don't know what that is. It's a literary or artistic assistant, in particular one who takes dictation or copies manuscripts. It's kind of like what we were talking about last week. Makes sense I wouldn't have heard of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because you're not an amanuensis. You are the dictator. I am the one who dictates. No, I was just going to say I've just never had a lot of upside in the arts. Oh. Jesse Pinkman was Walter White's amanuensis at meth. Would you consider meth making an art?

Would you consider drug making an art? That's the thing about, it's like when we were growing up, the moral panic was about ecstasy being printed on pills and like the pills had like cool graphics on them like smiley faces the nike logo the nike logo yeah they were afraid that we were gonna see that and just immediately have to put it in our mouths yo listen a strange tablet with the mercedes-benz logo on it i can't help but stick it under my tongue and see what happens. Uh-huh.

That and, like, acid, LSD, like those two, like, what do they call that? What do they call that when you are, like, an artisan of drugs? Like designer drugs? Is that what they're called? Designer drugs. What are designer drugs? Is that what they're called? Designer drugs. What are designer drugs? I think I've only ever heard it referenced in like ecstasy and stuff,

but I would assume it probably extends to other things. Yeah, it's synthetic cathinones are central nervous stimulants and designed to mimic effects similar to those produced by cocaine, meth, and MDMA. So it refers to synthetic drugs. Well, you remember those little Xanaxes that were popular in East Kentucky for a little bit? They looked like pencil erasers.

Yeah. Like they came from... I also remember being wound up before dc show and you said here have one of these and i was like where'd you get this was it a pencil yeah it was one of those you definitely got it off the streets you definitely got it some fucking holler somewhere i was like yeah i'll take my chances with the anxiety i did i did i got i bought uh i did i did i bought ecstasy for my birthday that year or the year before it wasn't ecstasy i guess that would have been a designer drug because it was actually fluoroamphetamine which mimics ecstasy basically

but when i bought them i've not done drugs with you in years and that my opinion is i probably never will well one because you've gotten clean but two guys oh yeah this is basically this and then you find out it's some chlorofluorocarbon it's close enough i was taking pFCs. The effects are similar. I was skimming PFCs off of Mind Waste Runoff and just drinking that. You end up doing fucking coffee pot smack when you do drugs with that. When I bought that, the guy, the plug, he gave me those Xanax. He was like, you're going to need these to come down. I was like, what are these? Oh, man, you're gonna need these to come down i was like what are these that's oh man you're gonna want to you're gonna want to have you're gonna want to have these other fucking homespun intoxicants and just the offset the effects of what i just sold you

it was i was on the house i i respected that there used to be honor amongst thieves you know what i mean it's like now they just sell you like fucking. Just fentanyl laced. Fentanyl laced whatever. Not even give you any heads up on. Yeah. Hold on. I got to turn on the AC.

I always do this. I always start and I start sweating like three minutes in. That's all right. That's all right. That's all right. That's all right that's all right that's all right that's all right lord that's all right okay sorry the rat king isn't a rat king when rats are like tied up on their tails isn't that like a magic thing i i just knew he was some sort of rodent overlord and he relished the rolling costume that's honestly the um the arc an archetype that i really appreciate from like medieval folk tales and mythologies is like

i guess i guess you could call it the rat king but it's like basically the person who is the king of the trash heap you know what i'm saying it's like you've reached the tallest you've reached the highest station in the shittiest the shittiest world possible you know what i'm saying king of shit mountains yes samson would say. Yeah, King of Shit Mountain. Yeah. It's a good arc time. Yeah. I always... Nobody really wants to be like Joe Biden, but a lot of people want to be like, you know,

a mafia boss or something. Yeah. Some sort of underworld figure. You want to be an overlord of an underworld, is what you're saying. No one wants to be God. That was Satan's always, like, biggest sell. It's like no one wants to be God.

Everyone wants to be Satan just because being the king of the underworld is ultimately a better, more rewarding job probably than being God. From a PR standpoint, for sure. Yes. Especially these days. Yeah. And standpoint, for sure. Yes. Especially these days. Yeah. And two, a lot less responsibility. That's true.

Too much responsibility with God. Yeah. Let's call it what it is. He's out there. He's not really doing a bang-up job these days. You know how some manipulative bosses threaten they're going to quit in order to get you to plead them to stay on? You know what I'm saying?

It's just like, no, don't quit. No, no. It's like I do every two weeks with this show, basically. I wonder how many times God has done that. It's like, I'm done. I'm fucking done with this shit. I'm fucking done with this bunch, man. In fairness to the Most High,

he did say that he repented that he ever made man. Yeah. That's pretty heavy when you think about it. You can't blame him. He's like, yeah, okay, am I perfect and omnipotent and all these things sure but i did make one oopsie there you think god has perfect he's like you know has like an imposter syndrome this is the thing like you do you remember maybe maybe this is more a me thing.

Like, it doesn't seem like you trafficked in these circles as much as I did when I was a teenager. But did you ever have, like, a deep, like, abiding anxiety over being a poser? You know, what's interesting is more so now than then, but not about being a poser. Now? But about being washed. Oh, yeah. Okay. That's fair.

Yeah. That's not an authenticity question. It's am I too old to do this question? Right. You know what I mean? For the first time in my life, I feel uncool. Oh, yeah. Which has been hard for me.

Well, that's the thing. It's like when you were a teenager. See, this is not new for me. I'm not new to being uncool. You've always been pretty cool, man. That's true. But it's like when I was a teenager, the skaters were very militant about letting you know that you were opposed like if you wore skater

shoes like skateboarding shoes you know like etnies uh you had to you had to show and prove yeah you had to you had to show that you actually knew how to use those etnies yeah but see i i hung out with a lot of skaters because i played in punk bands but i never skated and i always thought that was unfair it It's like I couldn't skate. Like I just didn't. I tried. I just could never improve, and so I just, you know, it's just like this is stupid.

Yeah. I guess it's probably a little deaf for Nostra Kentucky because none of us were that damn good. So there was no king of the underworld situation where that got to, you know right decree who was who was the real heads and who were the posers so yeah i i had no sauce man wow that's that's all right i have an idea for a soap opera which brings me i'm sauiceless which brings me to my next idea is a soap opera called the sauce and the sauiceless

oh god you know this is too topical right now what why because i just i have been having a real conflict of something, you know? Like you're, you have an anxiety over. I'm going to tell you what it is. Yeah. All right, I'll just be vulnerable. Okay, please. This is behind the paywall. I'll be vulnerable. Actually, I don't think, we're recording this one in advance

because I'm going to have to be out of town this week, so I don't think. You're going to have to be vulnerable on Main Street. I'll be vulnerable on Main Street. As we talked about several times, the heavy hand of time comes forever, man. I think it just happens when it's nearing another birthday. Plunges you ever closer toward another decade, which seems like it's going to be fine. Right.

You know what I mean? Yeah. But I had to look myself in the eye the other day. I actually did this as an exercise. Yeah. I looked myself in the mirror and I asked myself a hard question. Which was? Am I a loser?

And I'll be honest with you i don't i don't have a resounding answer on the topic yet dude and i'm not looking listen those in the comments i'm not looking to be coddled here either i don't want you to say no tom you're not a loser you're very cool i wish i could be like you're not no i don't need that I don't need that I need some tough medicine Well It's like See this is why we still need to be in the church Because I don't know how many youth pastors were like

It's okay to be You know who also was a loser That's right You guessed it Potiphar's wife It's like oh right? You guessed it. You guessed it. Potiphar's wife. It's like, oh,

that's not what I was thinking. I thought you were going, I thought you were going JC. Oh no. Oh no. JC was not a loser. Not at all. What? The King of Kings?

Come on. You? Yes. Very much a loser. Yeah. That's all right. Being a loser is all right. It's once you've lost everything that you can truly gain something.

Yeah. Tyler Durden. Yes. It's Tyler Durden. Once you've lost everything, you can truly gain. You're free to do anything. You can truly do anything. You can truly do anything.

Yeah. Just be okay with it. There's a lot of guys living by that maximum. Just losing, what, losing everything? Well, a lot of us are their own elect. Well, look, ever since the flood, it's like every week I meet a new person who tells me a new story. I haven't heard yet about the flood. And I ran into a guy two weeks ago who I hadn't seen since the flood.

And I was like, man, how have you been? I haven't seen you since the flood. He was like, Oh man, the flood changed my life. He was like,

he was like, the flood, the flood was the best thing that ever happened to me. It's like one of those guys. It's like, yeah, man, 2020 is the best year of my life he was like he's he's like the flood the flood was the best thing to ever happen to me that's like one of those guys it's like yeah man 2020 is the best year of my life i was like what what do you mean he was like well i lost everything he's like i he's like i lost everything and he's like that was good i needed to lose everything like i had too much stuff and it just he's like my house like i was like a pack rat i just had too much stuff and just washed it all away and now like the decision was made for him the decision was made for him you know what i i kind of respect that word worldview in a little bit i think it's a little

crazy but you know yep it is uh yeah he was like i lost every he's like i lost everything and then i got a big check from fema so it's fine i was like oh man that's literally the first person i've talked to who's like been glass half full about the whole thing be honest with you a lot of people talk about this one shitty. Not I, said the cat. Yeah. Got me a little $32,000 check from FEMA, and all this shit, I was like, wondering if I should give away or not. Well, it's out of my hands now.

What is the premise of Young and the Restless? Young and the Restless focused on two core families, the wealthy Brooks Young and the Restless Young and the Restless Focused on two core families The wealthy Brooks family and the working class Foster family After a series Of recasts and departures In the early 80s All the original characters except Jill Foster Abbott were written out

Bell replaced them with two new Core families, the Abbott's and the Williams' So the sauce In the Sauceless works I mean I didn't really get into the Young and the williams's so the sauce and the sauceless works i mean i didn't really get into the young and restless my family were more guide and light people and as the world turns they really liked as the world turns to general hospital over here little gh little gh yeah my one of my professors in college played a bartender in general hospital really yeah he said i had two lines what'll it be mac

nice day out there today huh just the you know just claim the fame just like because you know like on eastern it's like this in any rural place you go to it's like the um the only celebrity from my county that is like acceptable right because like there are celebrities from various places like there is a woman from my hometown who writes for south park but like you can't really advertise that as your like claim to fame because it's south park right yeah it's like but uh but like brian urlacher who is from my like not hometown but 20 minutes away like you know that's like home of brian urlacher when you're driving in and you see the dairy farm and the cheese plant that says Home of Barlacker Farms. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Or you come into Wattsburg and, of course, you see Francis Gary Powell. Francis Gary Powell. Yeah. Wow. We still have the cyanide pill. Did the cyanide pill come back to Letcher County? Is it inside that statue out front of the courthouse?

Yeah, it's like the most desperate son of a bitch gets the most glorious prize if he breaks it open like a pinata, like the cyanide pill comes out. If you've went without a cold job for longer than three years, you get the cyanide pill. He gives him a break open the Francis Gary Powers statue you've went without a cold job for longer than three years you get you get the cyanide he doesn't

break open the francis gary powers statue and eat the cyanide pill yeah i love i love it so much that he didn't take the cyanide pill and when he came back everybody was like fucking pussy bitch just yeah like you all would have to it's like after the vietnam war you know there was all those like myths and stories about like veterans coming home from the war and hippies spitting on them even though that never happened yeah my mom said our boys came back they spit on they spit in their face it's just like maybe happened one time and it was probably over like a marital dispute like or something. It was like a strictly anecdotal thing, and then it just became what was happening to our veterans.

Right. But that really did happen with Francis Gary Powers. It's like you didn't kill yourself. Pussy. Could you imagine that foaming at the mouthpiece? When would that have been? The 60s? Early 60s.

I think 59 is when his plane went in. Yeah. Late 50s, early 60s. Coming home and people were like, why didn't you fucking kill yourselves? You have secrets that our enemies in Siberia would love to have. You didn't fucking kill yourself? Like Christian people just saying, why didn't you fucking kill yourself gary and then i like that gary took it a step further

kind of flouted that a little bit yeah he died in a helicopter crash which is even a more interesting kind of detail to the story i think he like went into i think he's like obviously his career sort of plummeted after that i think he was doing like newscaster shit by the end of his career he was like a helicopter pilot maybe like flying around like newscasters i want to say huh and they're like hey aren't aren't you Francis Gary Powers? The, the spy, the spy pilot. The spy pussy? The spy,

yeah, the spy who pussed out. New James Bond. The spy that pussed out. The spy that bitched out. Gets no money No bitches No gadgets

Nothing Oh man Yeah You're just Immortalized as a coward The spy that bitched out Man Ian Fleming just

Sitting down in some Palatial in Jamaica Just getting ready to write a story about you because you wouldn't take a cyanide pill for the earliest iteration of the deep state yeah dude yeah dude i mean what's the equivalent today like if someone was shot down in iran like or uh china it's like fuck no nobody's expected to take the cyanide pill now no we got diplomacy on our side sort of yeah it's what they should have done will get you home in the next three years all right what they should have done was they should have made the cyanide pill like those designer drugs and put like smiley face a smiley face on it so gary francis gary power sees he's like oh yeah i'm gonna take that it's like oh yeah

yeah i could use a little a little mood lift this is a bad situation i'm down and where did he crash land somewhere somewhere soviet union um i'd give the soviets everything i had and only asked for like a little dacha in return yeah i'm like yeah fuck these guys they're gonna spit on me when i go back home anyway dude taking a cyanide pill seems so fucking like you you don't you actually literally foam at the mouth or is that just a movie thing? Hard to say. It's like you bite it in your mouth. I always thought it was tight when this happened all the time. When dudes would come to school with cyanide capsules

surgically inserted into their cheeks. And they could bite it and die that way. That's the thing that happened that's the thing that was happening in lee county new mexico in the 90s that's right like what did you do to the spy that pussed out what would be even better is if the spy that pussed out inspired a nation. Right. He became like some sort of folk hero. Yeah. Woody Guthrie just wrote a song about old Francis Gary wouldn't take nary a suicide pill.

Yeah, Woody Guthrie just writing a folk ballad for Francis Gary Pembers. Like, dude, okay, you wouldn't talk about looking in the mirror and seeing a loser. yeah woody guthrie just writing a folk ballad for francis gary powers like dude okay you want to talk about looking in the mirror and seeing a loser it's like francis gary powers was a loser that's all right it's okay to be a loser who are some noted losers that are cool though notorious most cool people are losers Or is it most losers are cool people? Like, which one comes first? Hard to say. I feel like most cool people end up being losers. Okay.

Most cool people end up being losers? Like, the guys that are, like, a little too cool in high school... Yeah. ...usually end up being not so afterwards. Right. You know what I mean? You have to have an acceptable level of cool.

Otherwise it's going to lead to ruin in your life. I was like borderline loser in high school because I was like Christian but I played music and hung out with the skate kids. I was the accepted poser. Yeah, they're like, we gotta have one, I guess.

We gotta have one. I was the token poser. Okay. Okay, yeah, we need somebody around to have a cheap laugh at their expense. Come on in, buddy. And that built character. That's why I am who I am today.

Oh, God. That's what you need to do. You need to be the loser on the inside of the cool kid circle. That's what you want to be. I guess this is kind of this fly. Yeah, you want to be a loser diplomat. Mm-hmm. A loser diplomat.

Yeah, you want to be the emissary, the ambassador to other groups who are losers. You don't want to be in the in crowd. What you ideally want is you want to be able to go to a table full of cool kids and have a word with the head. Because you have a respected position as an emissary. Right, without getting kicked into the pit like on 300th. Invariably, invariably, one of the king's men is going to step in front and say, beat it, clown, before I send you back to wherever it is you came from in a body bag. And then the king goes, no, no, no, Jeff.

It's okay. He's an emissary. He's an emissary. Come, let's no, Jeff. It's okay. He's an emissary. He's an emissary. Come, let's take a walk. What news do you bring from the lower reaches of the kingdom? First, I want to offer tribute. A little schoolhouse pizza. Secondly, Kathy Jefferson wants a little piece of the action yeah i overheard her saying

that she just uh you know she's sweating you a little bit uh yeah keep the king and some pussy. You can curry a lot of favor with it. Dude, yeah. Pussy and money and weed. Yeah. You know what I mean? Keep them supplied in all of those things. Yeah, an emissary has to bring a little tribute. You have to bring fried burritos. Yeah.

Bring some fried burritos. Bring some, yeah, designer drugs. Some sort of carbonated beverage if you're not really tied to the underworld yeah uh-huh in a beer non-alcoholic beer because that's what cool kids are into now they're into non-alcoholic beer um zero sugar uh beverages yeah Zero sugar beverages. Yeah. This is a blueprint. This is a rubric for success. Because life, the weird thing about life is that it's all a weird mixture of contingency

and being in the right place at the right time or the wrong place at the right time. And it's an interplay off of your very personality. So like everything at the end of the day is kind of a game of chance. But like Mark said, men do not make history under conditions of their choosing. So like what you want. No true words ever spoken, to be perfectly honest. That's exactly right. It's like, what you want to do...

This is the thing. I wish at 12 years old I had known what I know now. But what you want to do is, you want to just kind of thread the needle just right to where you're sauiceless in high school but then you get sauce after high school you know what i'm saying yeah you won't be simmering in high school you don't want to be done yeah you don't want to be cooked through you still want you need to grow into grow into a nice sauce that's exactly right like don't throw in the herbs just yet you don't want peak in college either because the further i get from that i realize there's a

guy that peaked in college thing which i flirted with for a while i'll be honest with you luckily i did not even come close to peaking in college that's that's uh that's like something i narrowly didn't even narrowly miss it's like i didn't even come close to it i flew too close to the sun on that one i was one of those guys i woke up seven years post-graduation i was like man every story i tell is about some sort of college hijinks i gotta diversify uh-huh so i started making up a bunch of stuff yeah yeah you just started making stories up yeah yeah this is the thing about like dare i even mention it but that's the thing about like nanette it's like stand-up comedy whoa whoa i ain't going there with you. My only point is that stand-up comedy is mostly stories, right?

It's like shit that never happened. You know what I mean? Like you write jokes. Or happened, but it's got some embellishments. Embellishments, right. It's like how do we know that this new kind of stand-up comedy isn't also just embellishments and stuff for the sake of telling a good story?

Because let's face it. Or somebody like that Burt Crasher dude who not only lies his ass off, but his stories are not that interesting either. Exactly. Let's face it. Everybody with trauma knows that most traumatic experiences are extremely just mundane and banal that's the kind

of most maddening part about trauma well that's why that's why um uh you know we have this oral tradition as humans though right it's because in order to keep our name alive after death we have to have taken the truth that's like tony wilson's maxim and 24-hour party people when given the choice between the truth and the legend always go with the legend yeah you know and there's nothing wrong with that well that's the thing like maybe get francis gary powers is the hero we need because he was a legendary loser he He was like, even the legend couldn't stretch the truth. He just... He unfortunately...

He flew too close to the sun, literally. Quite literally. Oh, man. Can you imagine being a spy plane pilot in the fucking 50s? Yeah, dude. I think they were those engineless gliders i've been in one of those by the way you want to say more about that yeah i had this i had this weird summer quote-unquote job one year like hobs hobs in the air you were in one of those i was in the air yeah

i was up in the air did you go to them and say listen a personal hero of mine is you two spy spy pussy francis gary powers i'd like to know what he felt that day he made his fateful choice uh-huh to not kill himself in the force of the soviet union this is this is my people man it's like i'm telling you it's like that's why everyone in my hometown had the cyanide capsules and surgically inserted into their cheeks these are my people man it's like i'm telling you it's like that's why everyone in my hometown had the cyanide capsules and surgically inserted into their cheeks these are my people some people are water people some people are land people and some people are air people yeah me and my people we were air people okay we were like what it was hobs to mexico I think of aviation, you're the first person I think of. That's why I'm not scared of flying.

That's why I relish it. That's why every time I go up, I'm like, maybe this is my last day on Earth. And it's like Sitting Bull. You know, like Sitting Bull before the battle of Little Bighorn? Like, went out and said today is a good day to die it's like today's a good yeah that's how i feel every time i take a flight i'm like i i i greet it with excitement but also the solemnity that i know it deserves the

seriousness that i know it deserves and and the punchers hope that maybe it'll go down and make the choice for me. You're like that guy in the flood. That's it. I've seen a lot of people die a lot of different ways, and I think at this point I've decided that I would kind of like to have it... I do think dying in a plane

crash is probably the best way to do it for for several reasons one it's immediate as soon as it happens obviously like it's just immediate you're you're gone but two you do get like a few minutes of reflection you do get that like kind of you know like you're not going to get that if someone like no scope snipes you in the forehead. Then you're just out. Or if you have a sudden heart attack and you're just dead. So what you want is that few minutes of terrible reflection. Yes.

And then a painless death to follow. That's exactly what I want. Because what I don't want... You want to feel the death sting for about two to three minutes and then you want to just no longer be there. Expire. But not in a painful way and just like a sudden impact, dead on impact

kind of way. Exactly. Because what I don't want is six to nine months of rumination and reflection on my, you know, the impending expiration date. I don't want that. No, it's dark, man. It's depressing. It's like, imagine

Is there any way we could just sort of, you know, condense all this nine months of reflection into about three to five minutes? I think it'd be great. It's fine but hobbes new mexico is known as the soaring capital of the world because it's like on a high plateau the llano estacado it's like on a mesa

and it's got these wind drafts above it that, like, people take. There's soaring competitions up there all the time, and what you do is you have a plane, like a tow plane, and you hook the plane up to the soarer, the soaring plane, whatever, and then the tow plane takes the soar plane up into the air and lets go it unhooks the thing once you get to a certain altitude that summer they call you the sorcerer but stylized as

soar I was the sorcerer yes dude I was I had so much swag that summer it's unreal that summer you're just up there on that primitive device like walking out on the on the airplane you know like people the daredevils they play like tennis on like the little wings of like one of those single engine open cockpit planes from dude i had so much... I was going into seventh grade,

the summer going into seventh grade, I was spitting game at the high school girls that were there. Just had no awareness of how absolutely sauiceless I was. You know what I'm saying? Perhaps you saw me up there in that glider. Perhaps you saw me doing a fire dance with two fire sticks up there on the wings of that. And maybe you said to yourself, hey, I'd like to know that guy.

Here's your chance, baby. By the time this episode airs, because we're having to record this in advance, I might be dead. It's possible that this episode might be airing the exact minute my plane is going exact if i put this out on wednesday and you died a fiery crash on wednesday i say well you know he died as he lived wanting an end with just a little bit of terror

yes it's like you would immediately become famous All of my prophecies about 2024 will come true. Dude, there's no bad thing here. There's no bad thing here. God, it wouldn't be funny. Well, it wouldn't be funny. But if you met your end and then Joe Biden met his end in October, as you predicted, and then future generations just look at you as this like Nostradamus character.

And, like, every mundane thing you said, they've just, like, kind of applied some, like, confirmation bias to it. And you're known as, like, a prophet, soothsayer. That's what I've always wanted to be. It's like, when I was a kid, I always thought that, like, being a prophet seemed prophecy seemed like a kind of magic that was attainable if you grew up in the church it's

like you you knew you could never like move shit with your mind or cast spells and hexes on people but you might be able to be a prophet like that was a good magic inside christianity that like felt attainable you know what i'm saying yeah prophet felt like it was uh a noble goal but yeah but attainable yeah there was that healing people those are the only two good magics in christianity faith healer is pretty good um it's hard though it's hard though because prophecy like you could be like nebulous enough to where like oh man

he was right about this but all you really said was some vagaries faith healing you kind of have to put up or shut up or it's not good for business you know what I mean or stick to the lower diseases that we're probably going to resolve anyway you know what I mean

I don't heal. I don't heal cancer. I don't heal autoimmune disorders. My ceiling, guys, is viral meningitis. That's about as high as I go. I don't do bacterial. It's too high of a mortality rate.

It is. I got viral meningitis once and the doctor asked if I slept with men. i was like what does that have to do i think what why does it actually son do you have gay sex what's that got to do with i probably like drank after somebody it's shouldn't i i i did not know not know what that had to do with anything. Sunny sleep with man. What does that got to do with anything?

Just for my own record. Just curious. You kind of looked like you did. I'm just wondering. I got the vibe. Oh, man. I'm just trying to get to know my patients a little better. You're sitting there with a stiff neck

feeling like shit. That did suck. It just gave me a bunch of Vicodin, and I went home and watched Breaking Bad for like three days. It sucked. breaking bad for like three days it sucked um yeah speaking of speaking of air travel i don't want to let this get out of the news because because like the supreme court is like in the news right now obviously you don't say i don't want this to get out of the news because it like came and went very quickly i think what it what it happened was it got buried in this

the submarine story um but justice samuel alito published this op-ed in the wall street journal about you remember how at the beginning of the show we used to have a bit called getting out in front of it you know what i mean yeah yeah samuel alito knew that pro publica was about to publish this expose of all these private jet trips and like um fishing trips that he had taken with these billionaires yeah yeah and like before they could publish this expose he published an op-ed in the wall street journal that was like uh i did this and it's fun i did this and of course like we all got friends that you know on the cattle of a thousand hills. Walk on streets of gold.

When I think the person that gave him these gifts frequently argues cases in front of the Supreme Court, let me just read the article. It's in the New York Times. Justice Alito defends private jet travel to luxury fishing trip. New York Times, Justice Alito defends private jet travel to luxury fishing trip. Justice Samuel A. Alito Jr. took the unusual step late Tuesday, this is June 21st, of responding to questions about his travel with a billionaire who frequently has cases before the Supreme Court, hours before an article detailing their ties had even been published. In an extraordinary salvo in a favored forum, Justice Alito defended himself in a preemptive article.

His response comes as the justices face mounting scrutiny over their ethical obligations to report gifts. The justices have taken differing approaches. It talks about Harlan Crowe and Clarence Thomas and John Roberts, and he's got like i think they were trying to bring him to congress to testify about ethics or whatever justice alito has come out swinging the publica article centered on a trip justice alito took to a remote part of alaska arriving on the private jet of paul singer an immensely wealthy hedge fund

manager and republican donor the flight would have cost more than a hundred thousand dollars one way if the justice had chartered it himself and his annual disclosures make no mention of the trip in what many experts in legal ethics said was a violation of federal law it's like okay so it's like i know that um it's it's like i know that it's pointless to to point this out and i and in fact i know that the thing about conservatives now is that a we're probably racist and b we're probably hypocritical but i guess just for the historical record it's like two days ago they said that the student loan forgiveness thing was unconstitutional and at the same time like again it's it it feels it feels almost uh disempowering to even point this out but it's like the same people saying that

are taking like million dollar trips with billionaires i know i love it i love they're like uh you remember you remember in 300 where you had those weird old mystics that were covered in boils on the hill, and they'd have the virgin girl get high off some kind of vapors. Sulfur spews? Yeah, yeah. And then she was like the oracle, and then they would just, they would interpret it as whatever their wealthy benefactors

in the Persian Empire, which was all backwards and fucked up anyway. Uh-huh. That's what the Supreme Court's basically like. Pretty much. Yeah, this is interesting. I didn't know that they also took a case, the dog toy case. The Supreme Court ruled that the First Amendment

did not protect a chew toy for dogs that resembles a bottle of Jack Daniels from a lawsuit claiming trademark infringement. Huh. So you can make dog toys that resemble bottles of Jack Daniels and it's totally cool.

Justice Alito said he had spoken to Mr. Singer only a handful of times, including on two occasions when Mr. Singer introduced the justice before speeches. It was and is my judgment that these facts would not cause a reasonable and unbiased person to doubt my ability to decide the matters in question impartially. He added that he did not know of Mr. Singer's connection to the cases before the court, including one in which the court issued a seven to one decision in favor of one of mr singer's businesses but mr singer's connection to the case republic of argentina v nml capital was widely reported okay what so this guy was like doing i guess he had like loaned argentina because like I feel like there's always

an Argentina sovereign debt crisis. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, about every seven to eight years, one of Shakira's ex-boyfriends becomes president and they just fuck everything up so bad that everybody pays for a loaf of bread with seven wheelbarrows full of some sort of Argentine peso. I guess this guy was partially responsible for that.

Okay. Justice Alito said he was not required to disclose the trip on Mr. Singer's private jet in a seat that, as far as I'm aware, would have otherwise been vacant. He's just hitching a ride, man. It's otherwise been vacant. He's just hitching a ride, man. It's an empty seat. He was just hitching a ride. Why not? Let's see.

In his essay, Justice Alito disputed the notion that the fishing trip was particularly fancy in ProPublica's account of extravagant... Was it in Argentina? It was in Alaska, actually. It wasn't particularly fancy. He said, I stayed for three nights in a modest one-room unit at the King Salmon Lodge, which was a comfortable but rustic facility.

As I recall, the meals were home-style fare. I cannot recall whether the group at the lodge, 20 people was served wine but if there was wine it was certainly not wine that cost one thousand dollars that's right it probably cost two thousand dollars i want to see what the king salmon lodge runs for for a night well it's booked out three months in advance and it's 400 a night so it's modest a modest one one unit that's on par with a night in the fanciest hotels in this country that's crazy a hotel room that costs 400 a night is uh i mean like even like a four-star hotel or whatever like in lexington that'll probably cost you like 150 a night right like a good a good hotel yeah if you stayed at the 21c or something like a nice hotel it would be like probably about 200

something so it would cost twice that and we're're talking in Bristol Bay Borough, Alaska dollars. Yeah. Okay? So anywhere else, you're talking probably six, seven, eight hundred and nine. Uh-huh. Among those who helped organize the trip was Leonard Leo,

a longtime leader of the Federalist Society. In a statement to ProPublica, Mr. Leo wrote that justices across the ideological spectrum had received hospitality from friends and supporters and that their judicial work had been unaffected. We should all wonder whether this recent rash of ProPublica... Hold on a second.

The guy from the Federalist Society said that the judge's impartiality had been unaffected. Uh-huh. Okay, that helps me sleep easier. Listen to his statement. He said, we should all wonder whether this recent rash of ProPublica stories,

okay, so ProPublica also published the story about Clarence Thomas and Harlan Crowe. And not for nothing, the horrid results of the dick implant penuma thing. They've been doing some pretty good reporting lately. I forgot about the dick implant penuma thing. They've been doing some pretty good reporting lately. I forgot about the dick implant story. Stories questioning the integrity of only conservative Supreme Court justices is bait

for reeling in more dark money from woke billionaires who want to damage the Supreme Court and remake it into one that will disregard the law by rubber stamping their disordered and highly unpopular culture preferences. Bro, too many words. This is a long sentence. disregard the law by rubber stamping their disordered and highly unpopular culture preferences, bro. Too many words. This is a long sentence.

It's too long a sentence. Anyways, um, that, you know, that honestly, what that kind of reminds me of, did you see this story about Kentucky attorney general Daniel Cameron?

You know, he's running in the primary against Bashir. Right. Did you see that like They're currently under investigation Because they solicited funding From a drug treatment facility That they investigated

Like they investigated a drug The AG the Kentucky Attorney General's Office under Daniel Cameron Investigated a drug treatment center called like Edgewater and then I think To basically be like, oh, but we can make this all go away if you give us... For a campaign contribution in the amount of...

That's exactly what happened. I mean, allegedly. I love that the guy is already corrupt as shit and hasn't served a day as governor. Like he's off on the right foot, you know? Yeah. I don't know. Also, just, like, the thing being a drug treatment facility is, like, so...

I mean, it makes so much sense, right? Oh, man. It's all tied in. Yeah. You know, before we get too far away from Sam Alito, did I ever tell the story about uh sam kaiser i think i'd mentioned him before on this show his old friend of mine i'm not sure i've not seen him in years but he went to that baffle place you know the christian hogwarts as style what the la times i think called it that yeah yeah yeah and uh i don't know if sam's still in the church like us or not, but he had prophesied back in,

I don't know, what year did the Lean Back remix by Fat Joe come out? I remember that was the song of the summer when he said this. That was like 2004? Fourish, fiveish, maybe somewhere there about. Yeah. And it was the same year Anchorman came out too. I remember Anchorman. Yeah. That were bubbling at the same your anchorman came out too i remember anchorman yeah that were bubbling at

the same time so the cultural zeitgeist that's that's what was happening in the world right now a bunch of guys running around saying i want telling women i want to be on you that's saying like um uh the sex panther thing yeah what was the thing about lamp i love lamp or something i love lamp they did i love lamp uh that uh 60 of the time it works all the time you know all the quotables from all the quotables yeah yeah well every dipshit in the country was running around quoting the anchorman sam kaiser had a higher calling he said that it was prophesied that justice sam alito when he was appointed i guess maybe a few years before under bush right he was yeah uh that uh he was there to end abortion uh he he himself had a

prophecy yeah he himself prophesied that Sam Alito's appointment. He was part of something called the ramp, which is one of those, I don't know, like sea salt and all those Christian kind of summer camp kind of things. I was never heavy into that, but maybe you know something about that. As far as I could tell, they would just go to beaches in South Carolina and do skits for a week or something like that anyway he came back i just just want to point out like how far christian like christian bonding has gone because like now if you do that you're going on like a

ten thousand dollar a day warrior mindset trip with your boys in in and lying to yourself that it's not homoerotic right right yeah they don't do they don't do wholesome things like skits anymore like now it's like getting muscle you know it's like taking your shirt off and lifting logs no it used to be they would just go to uh myrtle beach and they'd spend time in a big facility doing skits. And then some Christian folk singer would come sing a song and say, I wrote this for my girlfriend that died of leukemia when we were in high school. And, like, the guy looks like he smokes weed, and you think, like, do you smoke weed?

And you approach him after he plays, and he's like, do you smoke weed? And you approach him after he plays and he's like, oh yeah. Officially, no. But if you've got some, we can... We can totally burn that, yeah. He's got like a cross on his forearm tattooed. And like a kind of white boy afro. Yes.

You know the vibe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sam had prophesied that the other sam sam alito was going to be the justice that ends abortion he said let me tell you how we know this he said that same year or the year before the u.s bank building was built across the street i don't i think it was he called it the u.s bank building or something but there was some sort of building built down the street or across the street from the supreme court building yeah and he said and if you look at the architecture it's shaped like an arrow

like we're shooting arrows at the supreme court shoot an arrow straight at the supreme court yeah the arrow of truth the arrow of truth so he said basically that because this building it would be perfect if it was the u.s bank building uh-huh like that is the most american like that should be my first clue that american christianity is actually satanic in nature is that the what what really is going to move the needle in this country is a building called the u.s bank building that's shaped like a arrow anyway he prophesied that and you know what in the same way that like a lot of these prophecies are nebulous and you can actually be a prophet at pretty low risk uh-huh it did come true for it did come true yeah you know yeah 100 unfortunately it did come true it did i'm trying to find the arrow i mean i love

that everything i love that all the architecture in america is like weird occluded like esoteric like dark magic shit it's like it's like you can scream till the cows come home that like quote-unquote conspiracy theories aren't real and it's like yeah you can get carried away with them sure but it's like also at the same time it's like when they built the architectural structure to represent the united states military in the shape of like a like a dark magical symbol from like this 16th century it's kind of a little yeah and we built the facility across the street from Malik and son's investments Malik oh what are you talking about it's a family name German in origin Okay

Uh huh Moloch and sons and associates Yeah Alito said I want to assure people that I am committed to making certain That we as a court adhere to the highest standards of conduct We are continuing to look at things we can do to give practical effect to that commitment.

I don't really care anymore. It's like people are like, pack the courts, and then other people are like, murder the Supreme Court justices in their sleep. And it's like, I guess I agree with all the above, honestly. I just hope everybody has fun. I just hope everybody has fun. Whatever you choose to do do whether you want to

suffocate them with a pillow or if you want to paint the court hey i just hope everybody has a nice time yeah it's that's where i'm at on it the problem i'm i'm going down in a plane on wednesday so bye-bye whatever you guys want to do it's fine with me I'll see you in hell oh shit what if a guy what if like what if a guy carried a cyanide pill just for that

it's like I find myself going down in the plane and the guy in the seat next to me is like hey you know everyone's freaking out they've got the oxygen oh my god everybody's running around praying no god please no and just you and you and your seatmate are just kicked back i guess just a martini and a cyanide pill just like yeah i'm not taking that i'm gonna i'm passing on that he's gonna be you want this i'll be like no i'm uh sober not i've got i've got nine months now it's a cyanide pill yeah i don't want to take any chances if by some miracle i survive I don't want to take any chances.

If by some miracle I survive this thing, I want to keep my streak intact. Oh, man. I have broke the streak. I did smoke weed a little bit a few weeks ago. I love that in america we treat sobriety like uh bozo's grand prize game uh-huh yeah it's like where you keep throwing the little ball in the bucket and then you gotta throw it in a bucket it's a little further away

and a little further away it's the dopamine thing like i i get it. Counting days is kind of a fun game. But that's the thing, though, that I can't get back into smoking weed regularly. It's just like, you know that meme that's like those Hispanic dudes playing cards? And one of them's like is capitalismo or whatever you know what i mean like slamming down the card no i thought you were talking about dog painting dogs playing poker i was like i don't remember i've made a version of that for everybody presidents poncho via and emiliano zapata playing cards with dogs. It's like I was talking to my brother.

I was like, yeah, you know, it's like I smoked. It's like it was fine. But after like seven hours and I was still stoned, I was like, dude, I can't. It's just like weed is too strong now. It's insane. And I told you this, and i think that you did a victory dance you said i called it on the nick offerman episode you everyone including nick offerman himself scoffed at me i tried to tell you it's true it's gone to left i scoffed at you you're

right it's like yeah you got you and the Nick Goffman. I laugh at my expense. When you've got weed bordering on 30% THC, like, dog, we are in we're in a weed arms race. We're in a THC arms race. It's like telling my brother this. He's like a very apolitical guy, tries to stay out of like all politics and is not on twitter or anything like that and he was like you know why that is dude and i was like why he was like it's capitalism bro and i was like what i was like you're you're telling me this but it is true it's like by turning the industry into a capitalist, everybody's trying to make the dankest,

most fucking, you know, most fucking dank-ass, crystallized shit out there. It's like 12% THC. 12 to 15. That's all you need, man. Listen, here let me tell you something. Like, here's the thing. Life is great with a little head change, but life sucks when you're, like, anesthetizing's the thing. Life is great with a little head change,

but life sucks when you're, like, anesthetizing all the time. Yeah. You don't remember shit. You just lose years of your life and all that stuff. Like, having a good head buzz is great, but it's not even fun to be extremely fucked up. No, no, no. It's not.

It's not fun to smoke it, it like take one little hit off of a joint at like 4 p.m and then 11 p.m rolls around and you're just like you're still pulling your hair out yeah no i what what does he appeal to that yeah this is one thing i don't care to be a crotchety old washed man on like synthesis ruined marijuana a perfectly shamanic drug turned into a fucking you know a douchebags playground i agree it's it's one of those things that you can't do every hour of every day and i would even go so far as to say you can't do it every day it's like you just uh i mean some people can't i'm just sensitive. It's like if I- Here's what I don't like.

Here's where you know you've lost, okay? And I say this from experience. I'm not casting aspersions. But when your personality becomes a substance, like if you're the cocaine guy, I was the cocaine guy for a while. And everybody hated to be around me. You know why?

Because cocaine guys are fucking annoying. Yeah. They never shut the fuck up you know I was in an Airbnb a few weeks ago for a wedding in North Carolina and the towels in this Airbnb I don't know what the fuck they used to clean them but they smelled like cocaine so like all weekend I was having

like Pavlovian and listen that's not to say that cocaine's not good or weed's So like all weekend I was having like Pavlovian. Listen, that's not to say that cocaine's not good or weed's not good or whatever, your vice of choice is not good, but don't let it be your personality. Let it be a mild social lubricant. Don't let it overtake you. Does the suit make the man?

Does the clothes make the man? Or does the man Does the clothes make the man Or does the man make the clothes That's what you gotta ask yourself That's a good way to put it That's a good way to think about it Tom Yeah Uh Well

So anyways So I guess that about covers it for today I tried to keep it like Like I said since we're recording this for today i tried to keep it like like i said since we're recording this in advance i tried to keep it like because the day we're recording this it seems like twitter is uh definitely going down or something but like who knows if that'll still be the case when this when my plane i'll tell you what this is this is the billionaire's version of uh having your service interrupted for nonpayment. Yes.

You know what I mean? It's like when you're on your phone and you keep trying to call somebody and you're like, why does it keep sending me to Verizon customer service? It's like when you're a billionaire and that happens to you, it affects everybody. Just by the nature of your vast fortune. Right. Damn. Damn, damn, damn.

Well, all right, man. Well, thanks for listening to us this week, folks. Please go support us on the website called Patreon. www.patreon.com slash Trillbilly Workers Party. You can find all kinds of content there, and we encourage you to go do that and support us because if Twitter is going down,

how the fuck else are you gonna get news? Ask yourself that. Don't ask how we're gonna get it because I don't know the answer to that yet. We've decided to pull our resources and buy McClatchy. That's how we're gonna get our news is we're gonna own a media company. Own a media company.

That you can buy for probably 40 bucks now right and we go to the office every day and we say what's the news boys what's the news mcclatchy yeah they're like you could have just subscribed and we would have told you you didn't have to buy the whole operation but okay here bottom line boys we don't know how we're gonna make the payroll next week however uh-huh for this week we need the news if without twitter how are we going to get our brain you know completely riddled with you know rot brain rot online brain rot like how where else are you gonna get that you gotta go to podcasts so. So tell all your friends, it's like this is the next best thing.

Podcasts were waiting in the wing. We all thought that they were gonna go the way of the blog. We all thought that they were going to disappear. But in fact, it turned out we were. We've only become more powerful. That's right, we were silently biding our time. Just waiting. We'll do the leg work for you so you don't have to.

That's right. That is if you're not mad at me for judging your drug game Or for our opinions on travel So You're gonna have to keep in touch With the world somehow And I think that like You know podcasts are best positioned to do that. I don't really believe that.

Like personally, like philosophically, if you were to ask me, I'd say podcasts are probably the worst way to keep in touch with what's going on in the world. But I'm saying this is Terrence Ray, the character on the show, the Trillbillies. You should buy subscriptions and buy your friend's subscriptions

and tell them look oh this is the new big thing like you they have a comment section and we can all get in the comment section and pretend we're on twitter yeah so there you go and you get to listen to something while you're commenting on the thing you're listening to yeah and we're also going to have a mean to us tier. A mean to us tier, yeah, yeah, yeah. For five bucks a month, you have to be on your best behavior, but at 10 bucks, buddy,

you can treat me like I'm in a Dunkin' booth. That's right. Pie me in the face all you want. Do your worst. We need to do that. We need to bring back the Dunkin' booth. Yeah. But you fall into Dunkin' Donuts coffee.

The city of Whitesboro used to have one. Just the city of whitesburg used to have one just like have one on hand it would just sit in like a warehouse i was like why do we have a dunkin booth nobody really knows i think that like every school has one like i don't know if your school was like this but my school like the last day of school was called like field day or something it's like you didn't do shit you just like ran around on the playground and like they let you dunk teachers in those things yeah that's what if as part of uh uh when it comes my turn to write the farm bill i think i'm going to include uh dunking booths for every school, fire department. Every municipality. Basically, any institution,

municipality that receives federal funding will receive a dunking booth. Yeah, and like, we'll use that to fight fires too. Like, if you're in a building that catches on fire and you run out and you're on flames, you get in the dunking booth. Somebody throw a baseball! Hurry!

Throw a baseball! And everybody just throws it, keeps missing it. And throw a baseball. Hurry and throw a baseball. Hit the time. And everybody just throws it and keeps missing it. And you just go up the flames. We're fighting fires. Oh God, I'm on fire. Help me. Stop, drop, and roll. No, I think I'll just trap my chances with a dunk and move. Hurry, go get an

eight-year-old with a baseball real quick. I'm in flames. It's great. We're innovating and disrupting the firefighting space. That's true. Everything needs an entertainment component to it. You know what I mean? Firefighting, whatever. You got to shake it up. Yeah. I agree. needs like an entertainment component to it you know what i mean firefighting whatever like you

gotta shake it up yeah i agree baseball baseball needs to be done like baseball in japan where they like come out in outfits and like it's a little bit of a production you know it's a little theater to it a little more theater to it than the American version. Totally. I agree. I agree 100%, man. Alright, well, that's about it for the day. Thanks for supporting us. Go to the Dunkin' booth at Patreon. And we will see you next time.

Fingers crossed. Terrence might not, but I might not. But Tom will. Alright, thank you all. Goodbye.